Aside from 2 graduations (KT's, and my cousin's), this weekend I:
cleaned 2 of three toilets (lovely thought for your early morning reading!)
folded up all my scarves and reorg'd their drawer which had become unbearable
bought the kids a few summer t-shirts and shorts (I like the new JC Penney, do you?)
rearranged furniture* in KT's room like she had requested (and in the process threw out a bunch of her old stuff - wooden puzzles, old books, junk from under the bed oh em gee)
did* 3 loads of laundry
baked banana bread, finally
filed stuff (paid bills, pay stubs, etc.) in the filing cabinet
The weather was helpful, since it rained all day Sunday. After Mass (and donuts) I just parked myself in the house and planned to get stuff done.
It felt really good. Partly to get things accomlished and have a clean house, but also just the act of doing it. Being in the moment - I love the word "homecaring." Just putting your mind to the task of making the place you live more loveable (and having the time to do it gently). I don't know. Maybe it was because the kids left me alone! Ha. They were playing all day with their Build-a-Bears. Teddy bears' picnics and stuff. (uh... stuff like tossing bears off the upstairs landing and thinking that was hilarious.)
Maybe now that everything's clean (DH cleaned the other bathroom, dusted, and vacuumed while I was doing my stuff), we can start taping off and getting read to paint.
*DH did the heavy lifting, and some folding...Thank you, DH!
I'm walking a line today where on one side, I want to post all kinds of pictures of my KT baby, who is graduating from pre-K tonight at the very grown-up time of 7:00 p.m., and on the other side, for a variety of reasons, I don't want to post any more pictures of my kids on the Internet.
----
I can't resist.
She has been SO excited about today, and tonight. They're really talking it up at her school, practicing their songs and poems, and it's different because it's been scheduled at a different venue -- a local elementary school with a "really big stage," according to her -- so it feels much more significant than usual. And it is.
In my final conference with her teacher, KT got all superior marks. I was told that she listens, makes good choices, loves to learn, loves doing new things, and even helps other kids. It's not that I don't believe the teacher... it's just that the teacher has never been to our home and seen the other version of my girl! The baby-of-the-family, always-gets-her-way (or thinks she should), whiny, contrary girl. Oh, I exaggerate -- she isn't like that ALL the time at home. But she is LIKE THAT. I know it's all my own doing. I can't help spoiling her sometimes. I laughed and said something along those lines to the teacher, and then she taught ME something. She said, "Well, in reality, what we're doing with them here [a structured curriculum, Kindergarten level, basically] is probably past appropriate for their age -- they should just be running around! So I would be more worried if you told me she doesn't act out at home."
Hunh. I didn't think of it that way. She holds it together and does so many big-kid things all day long -- 7:30 to 5:00, although a good portion of that is play and 2 hours of it is naptime -- that it's only natural she'd need to let loose at home. I mean, I've always known that about toddler tantrums, but she's not a toddler anymore. She comes across as defiant and demanding, and uninterested in listening, at home. Not just tired and whiny.
And I know I'll need to keep it in mind this summer, when her naptime is ceased for good and always. She never naps on the weekend, so I know she can probably handle it, but I was always so relieved to know she still took naps Monday thru Friday (and she, unlike a lot of her classmates, fell asleep most times).
being silly with Papa Joe
Anyway, this little spitfire is graduating from Pre-K, moving on to a new school that we've been anticipating now for 4 years, and it's a big deal. The one thing she wants is a trip to Build-a-Bear Workshop, so I'm taking her there tomorrow morning to celebrate this first big life achievement. I'm so excited to see what's next.
KT baby she will forever be, but she is becoming a real-live young lady, right before my very eyes.
1. One thing I like to do is cut my fingernails short, and then paint them. Don't know why I like the look of short, painted nails better than long ones, but I do. Long ones seem... bitchier, maybe? I particularly enjoy painting them at the office. It feels illicit, and luxurious. Here's the color I'm painting today (I "borrowed" it (without asking) from KT's stash of One THOUSAND tiny nail polishes).
Orange for spring!
2. I used to be so much better at this blogging thing. I revisit old posts -- today I wanted to find out when, exactly, AJ started reading, so I was exploring January 2009) -- and I think, I was funny. I could string sentences together in a humorous, somewhat entertaining way! And people were coming here to read what I said. Hunh. I feel like I have lost some of that ability. And I know I've lost the greater ability to write anything meaningful. I used to do that. I got jealous reading some of Britt's insights yesterday. I wish I had written them. It's fine; suppose I'll just continue to write pithy things. ;) The difference is, I guess, she has a theme and a purpose, and I'm just here doing my thing, for me.
3. Actually, what it is, is, I'm saving my good stuff for the PAID writing I must do. Yesterday I knocked out two big assignments -- a letter from the Editor (me) for our magazine, and an article about one of our products -- that had been on my list all week. OHHH, I did not want to write those two things. But there were hard deadlines, and I had to. I broke out the pencil and paper for some good old-fashioned brainstorming (hate doing it in a group, don't mind so much scratching it out myself on scrap paper), and Wrote Those Suckers. Even got some virtual high-fives on them from the higher-ups. It felt good to get them done BEFORE Friday, and once again I was reminded to be grateful that I have a job where my actual skills are being used. Sometimes it's even fun, to write good things. It's a rare blessing that a lot of people who work do not have.
4. Random something that's kinda neat: An Oklahoma church unearthed a time capsule from 1913. My favorite things were the ones addressed to "Our friends in 2013."
5. I've been working on the way I see the world, lately -- I know that sounds kind-of big and dramatic. I had noticed, sadly, that I just had this general dislike of other people. You know, like, other drivers for example. It's easy to scowl at and sort-of hate the driver who cuts you off. And we all have people in our lives who are kind-of weird, and we just roll our eyes about them and allow our surface impression to simmer and grow. Which turns into dislike. So, well, I wanted to stop doing this. It actually happened by accident: I was in church one morning and I saw, in a front-row pew, this very rich family (who are always so nice, but) who live in a giant, gorgeous house which I used to grouse about every time I drove by it. And when I looked their way, I only saw that I LIKE them. I actually felt like I LOVED them. Loved that they're part of my community, anyway. (And they're nice. Why should I care about their house?) And then I saw another family I know, and I love them, too, for who they are as relates to my family. They're weird, sure. But that's who they are. Looking around, then, I started being able to love all the different people there, in different ways. The super-most-annoying lady became "Quirky Sue," in my mind, instead. I mean, accept it, right? It's not going to change. Just love her for who she is. Last night it happened at choir practice -- I felt such love for all the good, odd, annoying, sweet, dedicated people singing next to me and behind me. :) It's hard to explain. I'm trying to carry this feeling to the workplace (and other drivers!), because that's where I get a large majority of scowly feelings toward people. It's hard work (is that okay?), but I like it. Did anyone ever read that horrible book, the Celestine Prophecy? I did, and hated it, but the concept of seeing an "energy" or "light" coming from each person (hooey, in the book) is feeling real to me in this context.
6. What are we reading? I am trying like heck (in ten-minute increments) to finish Kingdom Keepers 1. AJ is loving this series -- he loves ALL the mystery/adventures series -- and I wanted to know what all the fuss was about. It's fun, but I don't want/need to read any more after this one. It's great for a kid like him, who's been lucky enough to go to Disneyworld enough that he remembers where rides and attractions are, because it takes place there. If you had never been to Disney, I'm not sure it would be as interesting. I'd like to read a grown-up book next, and I have a long list.
7. I'm going to miss singing this anthem with the choir on Memorial Day weekend, and I'm sad because I adore it. So fun to sing. It starts kind-of slow but gets really good around 2:20, and the Alleluias are just awesome. Best with eyes closed. :)
Writing here is very often a way for me to blow out the
nighttime cobwebs and get my brain started. I like to do it, to allow myself
room to do it, even though I have a PILE of assignments from work and everyone
on my team seems grouchy and stressed. I’m not particularly stressed; maybe I
should be. Or maybe I shouldn’t! Take that.
---
Mom and Dad were here from last Thursday evening through the
weekend, for the annual Grandparents’ Day at AJ’s school. We had a nice time
together. Ate lots of good food – including anew-to-us BBQ restaurant and a new recipe, the Asian brown rice one from
this post, that the adults all liked. We had to spend a good amount of time
watching movies and just hanging out at the kitchen table, because it poured
rain for nearly four days straight, and was cold outside. What is WITH this
weather, man? But it was fine because one of the things I like best about
spending time with my parents is hanging out at the kitchen table. My house,
their house, even our beach condo – this is the stuff good visits are made of.
But the one thing this trip made me think about most was,
greedily I guess, having a new house someday that isn’t so creaky and/or
non-soundproof; that doesn’t require that they climb stairs; that has a little
more space to put stuff and for the kids to play; and that doesn’t require the kids
to couple-up in sleeping bags. I’ve said before that it’s FINE for now – the kids
like having sleeping bag parties in KT’s room, and it’s so sweet the way she
likes having her big brother in there with her (they even hold hands before
falling asleep). I don’t want my parents (or DH’s) to feel in any way BAD for
coming to visit!! (You’re not allowed to feel bad, Mom, and: Keep visiting!)
But there will come a point when it won’t fly anymore. I mean, I suppose we
could give Mom and Dad our room, and DH and I could sleep just fine on the
couches downstairs, and each kid could keep his or her room… but one little
guest room would fix it
Of course, I’m not really expecting to find a ranch-style home.
Almost none of the types of neighborhoods I like include ranch-style, and I’d
only be willing to buy an older ranch-style house if it was very nicely
updated. Or very cheap. I’m assuming all I’ll find is master-on-main options,
which I guess would mean Mom and Dad would be offered the master. Which is fine
with me, though not ideal.
So I need to (same refrain) get busy painting and fixing up
our house so we can SELL IT. Grey has been determined as an acceptable, trendy-yet-neutral
paint color for the master bath. I want to pick WHICH grey, now. And we already
have paint for baseboards.
Yesterday KT and I visited the ENT where her ears were cleared
with a teeny-tiny vacuum. She yelled and screamed but maybe not quite as much
as last time. Bless her heart. Ice cream was offered out of guilt for making
her suffer through that. (And maybe a new book, too [Pete the Cat and his
Groovy Buttons!]) She said later that everything was louder. No more “stupid ear.”
AJ is into origami lately. He has several books,
particularly likes the “Origami Yoda” series, and even likes to DRAW the
origami Yoda figures. He also folds his cloth napkins while we eat dinner.
Drives me a little insane. He’s gained a little bit of weight, I think – the other
night the scale gave him a 47. It was right after dinner so it might not have
been accurate, but I’ll take it. The news has been full of stories of kidssuffering
lately; DH and I have decided that if he’s short his whole life, we’re grateful
and we’ll take it.
I've been playing the piano again, a little bit. It feels calming and restorative to me. I'm terrible! I stumble over the notes and the rhythms start and stop and speed up and then slow again. It's like a fourth grader. But I like to think I could get better if I keep practicing.
I started playing the piano when I was five. Thank you, Mom and Dad. I enjoyed it and was fairly good for a five-year-old, and then for a 6, 7, 8, 9, 10-year old. I had a good teacher. During middle school and the beginning of high school, I had an even better teacher. He had studied at an actual conservatory and liked to talk about that fact. He also liked to think that I was a better musician than I was. He wanted a "star" pupil, and my sister and I stood in that role a little bit, I think. We played Chopin nocturnes and Beethoven sonatas, and even Rachmaninoff (how I hated Rachmaninoff), and we played in a few competitions and won medals once or twice.
And we -- or specifically, I -- got burned out. Same way I had with tennis a few years before that. I can't remember what year it was, but at age 15 or 17, I decided I couldn't take the weekly lessons anymore, and really didn't have time, with school, cheerleading, community theater and being a teenager, to practice for hours a day. Not even one hour a day. I know it broke my Mom's heart in some ways. It was sad to let it go, but a relief. I've justified it to myself because since then, I've spent much more time singing than playing, and piano was, of course, the perfect foundation for a musician. I took voice lessons, too, and I think I'm more talented vocally than my fingers ever were. (Although, when people comment about how fast I type -- and I love to type -- I often credit ten years of playing the piano.) I have loved being part of choirs, and music performance is definitely part of who I am.
Anyway, a few years ago DH bought me an electric piano. Our house doesn't really have space to accommodate a real one, but the electric one fits well with our still-not-totally-mature interior design style. We got it with the kids in mind. Maybe they'll take lessons one day soon? I haven't played it nearly as much as I've wanted to -- and believe me, I've wanted to. Life gets in the way, you know?
But right now I'm coming back to it. I've found a book in my old things that has sonatinas and gavottes in just about the right difficulty level, and because of the years of singing, I'm a much better music reader than I ever was as a teenager.
I'm having fun. I try to sit down during KT's baths. It's just ten minutes, usually, before she needs my attention for something. You do sort-of have to lose yourself in playing/practicing to get good, and there's hardly ever time for that. I'd like to try to make some time.
I have this desire to someday be able to play well again -- to accompany the choir for rehearsals, if needed, or pick up a book and play Christmas songs if anyone wants to sing with me. Oh, and this weekend while standing near the organ during Mass, I really got to thinking how FUN it would be to play THAT instrument! It's silly in a way.
On the other hand, it's a part of me that's been missing. Like I said, it's a stress-reliever now (ironic how it used to cause me stress). I was wondering recently, what would be something FUN to work at every day? And I thought, playing the piano would be fun work. So. I'm not changing careers or anything (I wish!), but I'm going to play.
Let's do something else. Let's get poor AJ's poor choice down, away from top billing on this page. :)
Here are some ways life is really good right now:
1. Our spring annuals are planted and pretty! I know YOU don't care, but this might be the earliest we've gotten it done in years. And we replaced a few plants (bushes) that had died and been dug up last year, so it feels significant. I am checking it off our Home-Beautifying-Before-Sale list, and that feels good because it was a "would be nice to have" item, but now it's done!
2. The kids are playing outside. All the time! With the hundred or so kids that seem to gather in ours and neighbors' yard every day. (Ok, it's just fifteen, not a hundred.) There is even a little girl KT's age. Hallelujah. I know she was having a hard time before this new little girl, we'll call her Abby, showed up. Now she LIVES for the doorbell to ring in hopes that it's Abby. Super cute.
3. I am back IN the dinner-menu zone. I go through phases, you know, where I can't think of anything good to make. In the last couple of weeks, though, I've tried some new things that were successful, and Monday night I went back to one of our family's Old Standbys, and it was well received -- pork chops with Hot & Spicy Shake-N-Bake, field peas with white rice, and Crescent rolls. I know it's not very original but it had been a long time since we'd had it -- I love rediscovering old gems like that. Here are some things I want to try next (for the adults, of course. The kids would never eat these!):
4. Besides that, I seem to be on a roll with getting some exercise (at minimum 10 minutes a day but I'm aiming for 20). Most days it's just a quick walk outside around my office building, but the weather's been nice enough that it's really a mental boost, too. Score. I've been working on lowering my calories-in, too, with some success, and have lost a pound or two. It's kind-of lame to always, for years, be trying to lose 10 pounds. (Baby weight! Haha! What? I had babies once.) I'd like to be finished with it. On the other hand, I guess it's better to be working at it, mindful of what I'm eating all the time, rather than not caring. (I go through plenty of "not caring" phases, too. Just not right now.)
5. We rescued all of AJ's baby photos and videos from my dead iMac. I haven't yet gone through them all to sort and save, but they're safe.
Just a few little things. But they're making me happy, happy.
I picked KT up at pre-K on Tuesday, and she was eager to show me a two-sided art masterpiece (!) that she had made. "KT," said her teacher, "What is the word, again?"
"Met-a-mor-pho-sis!" she proudly answered. Pronounced perfectly, which I know is why the teacher asked her in front of me.
"Wow, KT, that's a big word!" I marveled. Then she showed me her artwork.
"Look, Mommy, this is the butterfly, and here's my flower, and the sun, and this is the caller-pitter!"
(Please stay little forever!)
* * * * * * * *
This 2nd story's not quite so charming, although I look forward to the day in the future, when he's 30, and we can look back and really get a good laugh over it.
AJ got in his first real big trouble at school yesterday, for writing something on a classroom bookshelf, in red pen. He and another kid worked together, but he admitted it was his idea. And what words, pray tell, did he feel the need to inscribe on school property?
FART HOUSE.
(Please grow up as soon as possible.)
He got in trouble at home, too -- 2 weeks of no video/computer games, no sleepovers, no new books or toys, and we made him write apology letters to the school and his teacher. He cried. I'm betting that's the last time it happens and I was glad of the teachable moment -- and to have the time to think it through before I saw him. All in all it's a pretty typical rite of boyhood -- and parenting -- passage, I guess, and I'm proud of him for getting through it. He'll live. He'll be smarter now. I can't wait to remind him of it many times in his adulthood. ;)
My earbuds are in place with calm.com feeding me a lovely ocean breeze, and rhythmic waves on the shore. I wish I were actually there! But I'm not, I'm at my desk on a Monday morning, trying very hard to stay positive. This is just a workday -- not terrible, not depressing. It's a leaf falling or a bird flying by -- I can't control it and shouldn't worry about it, but I can control my response to it (or not respond at all).
Behind me there's a meeting going on, with its door open. Slight lack of courtesy has my heartrate up a little. A few minutes ago there was a phone call happening in another office behind me; the door was closed, but the occupant was still loud enough for me to be distracted by her. I feel sorry for her, having to have loud/stressful conversations on a Monday morning.
I am glad I don't, and glad for earbuds.
I have a cold, 32-oz water bottle with a purple straw and a green lime. I can only drink water with lime/lemon if it has ice.
I'm typing on a new-to-me laptop. It's nice that it responds so quickly when I double-click. My old laptop, last week, was super annoying and slow. This new one also has unfamiliar keyboard sounds. The clicks seem different. It's distracting, too, but in a good way.
Right now, I'm putting off a project that's blinking at me from my calendar. It's a Powerpoint presentation -- one that I'm writing for someone else -- and it feels like too much of a challenge at this moment. I know that -- I'm hoping by writing this it will become true -- I know that I will take it one slide at a time (ugh, slides!) and that my draft will be fine. I'll get feedback, and probably get offended at some of the feedback, but I'll make the changes and the person who needs to put her stamp on it will have done so, and I'll be finished with it. (Until the next one.) But right now all of that seems very far away.
The deadline is EOB Tuesday. I didn't know what "EOB" meant, several years ago. COB. EOD. Whatever you call "end of the day" in your line of work.
Right now it is 10:12 a.m. and time to get started.
I decided to try "Just Writing" again today. Also, I'm looking for new, interesting reads there. You can, too, just click the image!
Just reading my own blog, and thought I'd update you lovely people on the school-bullying (tickling) situation.
According to AJ, it hasn't happened in a good while. We now ask every day if anyone bothered him. I won't stop asking. He may stop telling the truth -- we've had it happen where, I'll ask him right after school and he's bright and sunny, and says nothing happened, but later in his room, with Daddy, he reports the opposite after further investigation. I'm glad he'll tell one of us, and I'm glad when DH presses the issue.
There is another mom, with whom I am close, who calls me when HER son reports any misbeahvior, on AJ's behalf. I love her kid. He, too, has been the victim of a few of the rough kids. She has also had Important Meetings with the teacher. I am glad that her son and mine are good buddies (they go to summer camp together). They stick up for each other although they're both little dudes. I wish, too, sherry, that AJ could befriend a big, hulking kid.
It seems like things have died down overall, for which I'm grateful.
Poor KT baby. I called the doctor yesterday, kind-of on a whim, just wanting to see if something she'd been telling me merited a visit.
Well, it did. She's been tugging at her left ear, causing it to "pop" audibly, for about 4 weeks now, sometimes telling me she can't hear, sometimes saying it hurt, most times calling it her "Stupid ear." Heh. So the doc wanted to see her.
You can guess that they found blockage and build-up, and so they began the process of softening and removing it. Here is just a sampling of the things she yelled at me, and at them, during the two-hour visit this morning. Note: This sounds really bad but it was mostly funny. I mean, I feel bad that I haven't taught her to use curse words, because I know in her heart, curse words were what she meant. It was hard not to giggle. ;)
I hate this place! These doctors are so mean to kids!
It HUUUUUUURTS!!
I am so mad at you for bringing me here!
Do NOT let them open that door AGAIN! They can NOT come back in here!
No you are NOT going to hold me! No, I won't.
You are so MEAN!
OH. MY. GOSH, this is TERRIBLE.
I get that maybe the medicine they used was stinging a little. But you'd have thought they were ripping her arms off, the way she carried on. The very definition of crocodile tears. And scrambling to get away from the nurses, rolling up the paper table cover in the process.... fun times, fun times.
They didn't quite accomplish their goal, so we get to go back in two weeks. I can hardly wait! Uh.
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