Thanksgiving recap

Thanksgiving seems like three weeks ago already, doesn't it? The Target commercial they're playing, where the couple waves goodbye to their friends saying, "The turkey was wonderful, as always!" and then they close the door and immediately turn around into their house, which is fully decked out for Christmas...? Have you seen that one? It's perfect, right? I feel like that's exactly what has happened. There was no transition. Just, BOOM, Christmas.

We're deep in it -- we're looking for our Elf on the Shelf every morning, the tree is up, and I've been to Michael's twice already. Doesn't get a whole lot more Christmas-y than that.

Anyway, let me tell you about our Thanksgiving, because it was really nice. We went to DH's parents' house in Savannah, and had dinner at 1:30! One! I never knew the position of the clock could make such a difference, but I'm here to tell you IT CAN. I think the one o'clock hour is the perfect time, actually. At 1:30, the parade had just finished. I hadn't had time to think "Gosh, I'm hungry," yet. I hadn't had time to wish there was a cheese ball and some Wheat Thins out on the table (or to stuff myself with them before dinner even started). I had had a Coke Zero to tide me over. The kids were playing nicely. My BIL and SIL arrived. At 1:30, it was lunchtime. A logical time to eat.

We finished around 2:30 I guess, did the dishes, and had time to chill out for a bit. At 4:00 I was ready for my pie (apple, a la mode). Then at 6:30 it was the perfect time for a turkey sandwich! Ta-da! See how that worked out?

On Friday, we took off to the beach! One thing we never take advantage of in Savannah is the fact that it's on the coast. We're usually not there long enough to make a day of it with swimsuits and buckets and the whole ordeal. But this time, since it wasn't swimming weather anyway, I just wanted to go out there and SEE it. There's a huge public pier, where the kids RAN all the way to the end, chasing pigeons and seagulls (just like in the movies). Then there's the flat sand of the beach, stretching for days. We collected handfuls of (broken) seashells, perfect in the kids' eyes, and AJ even pulled up his pants legs to wade in the Atlantic. KT wanted to "dig for pirate treasure." I can't resist sharing a photo. I loved breathing in the salty air, and I'm just not sure there's anything more restorative than a sunny day near the water, you know? It seemed to bring out the best in all of us. Especially afterwards, when we stopped at a little hamburger dive for a cheap lunch on their patio, complete with giant chocolate ice cream cones. I really feel like we made happy memories that day.

On Saturday, we set out on our own without the grandparents, who had some other tasks to attend to. I hated to miss out on time with them, but I was also happy to have a little time just to ourselves. Historic Downtown, of course, is where all the tourist action is, so we forked over a lot of cash to ride on a horse-drawn carriage through brick-lined streets and statues. I remember visiting lots of museums and historic sites when I was a kid -- in Austin, Natchez, Vicksburg, New Orleans, New Mexico, old Mexico! and Springfield, IL, among others -- and I think our kids are old enough now to get the educational benefit from that kind of thing. It was awesome. AJ sat up front with the driver and felt all special. KT managed to stop talking (mostly) and let the tour guide tell her dumb jokes. And we had lunch afterwards. (I am pretty sure the key to my personal enjoyment is scheduling these things right around 11, so we can have lunch after. Clearly, french fries are important to me deep down in my heart.)

We drove home Saturday night, after dinner. (Leftovers for the win!) That somehow felt special, too. A last hurrah, or something. The hectic pace of packing up. The kids running from BIL who tickled them without ceasing. (Something which I could seriously complain about... but... whatever. They seem to enjoy it. To the point of SCREAMING a lot. Sigh.) And we were so glad to skip dumb metro traffic on Sunday.

All in all, I'd say it was a near-perfect holiday.

Turnaround

I started today in such a Bad Mood. Once again, I was awakened in the dead of night (4:00 am) by a little girl who needed comfort, or someone to talk to, or just to be reminded that all was okay. I was not very gracious about this, though at first I really did try to be. She is suffering a bit of a cold, and was swampy with coughing and sniffles. I could tell she was hot (she insists on wearing fleece jammies even though it’s been an unseasonable 74 degrees most days lately) and I worried it was an actual fever. So some children’s Tylenol was dispensed, we both made trips to the potty, and I hoped for another 2 good hours of rest for us both.

It was not to be. I got more and more mad as the minutes ticked by. The whispering, “Is it six-oh-oh yet?” questions, the light going on in her bedroom, the panting I could hear her doing next to my face as she watched to see if I was awake yet, the four-times getting her covers messed up and needing me to fix them, tissues, water, and then the dog, too, licking the carpet incessantly which I cannot stand, even in the light of day. I threw back my own covers several times, DH did the same and threatened through clenched teeth to deposit someone back in her OWN ROOM by the time he got to THREE… it just wasn’t a pretty way to start the day.

Naturally she fell back to sleep at 5:55 a.m. I hated to wake her then, but will admit to having at least one vengeful feeling about it.

I spent the morning stewing. Not about KT, but about other things. Stress about impending holidays. Things I don’t like about my job. Coworkers who Won’t. Shut. Up. in the 8:00 hour when I’m still trying to ease into things and have my coffee. I worked myself right into a little hissy fit, in my mind. (Tired, perhaps?)

And then I went to KT’s school for the class Thanksgiving feast.

It wasn’t even that special, to be honest. The teachers must be tired this time of year, because they weren’t chipper or very welcoming at all. The 4 of us parents who made it sort-of wandered around while the kids played, and we waited for the food to be ready. There were no construction-paper pilgrim hats or Indian feathers, no singing of any songs or reciting of any Gobble-Gobble poetry. (Come on, school! Are you kidding me?) But the happiness on my little one’s face, watching me watch her with her friends, was so palpable. She was proud to show me her table, willing to eat her food, and appropriately taken aback when I asked her if could I please stay and take a nap with her, on her mat?! (“You are too big for my mat, Mommy, that’s silly!”)

Such a simple thing. It wasn’t a forced counting of blessings, even – we didn’t give thanks for the meal – but I came back to my office wanting to make a better effort at not being so angry. What was it? Getting to play with kids for 30 minutes, unhindered by time constraints or my own agenda? Sitting on a miniature red chair? Maybe the challenge of talking with three-year-olds whose language is different from my own daughter's was a brain exercise that cleared away all the other gunk? Or, just seeing someone I love dearly, in the middle of the day? Being reminded of how fast it all goes by?

I’m unsure. But pretty darn grateful.

And then, other times...

I tuck her in at night, and we spend 5 full mintues saying "I love you" back and forth, and when I leave she tells me again, and that she hopes I "have good sleep, Mommy."

...and we wake up and she's all kisses and cuddles and the very best, most wonderful parts of three-and-a-half.

Just so you know.

Fighting nature

This is not going to be a guilt-filled post about how terrible I feel for trying to discipline my 3.5-year-old. This age can be willful and disrespectful, and I have been trying to remember that it's just a phase. Overwhelmingly, I think, "I love that little girl SO MUCH." But right now living with her is just so exhausting. I can't think straight when she blatantly tells me "No" for the forty-fifth time, or kicks me or throws things or screams in my face. I have no creativity reserves at the crack of dawn, nor at the end of a long day, and no ideas on how to solve these problems in meaningful ways. I try to give choices and consequences. I resort to time-outs (which don't actually work, imho), or taking privileges away, which only makes her scream more loudly. I can send her to her room, but she either refuses and tantrums, or just comes back out. I distinctly remember not having any solution for that problem the first time around. Her Daddy sometimes has good luck removing her from the situation,calming her down and talking her through it, but those tactics don't seem to work for me.

Last night she was particularly awful to me, and I just honestly didn't want to be with her.

I think of all the moms and dads in the world a lot, lately, and how we all have to fight battles like these. I pray for them sometimes, people I don't know, especially the moms, and their independence-testing little ones. This job can be so, so hard.

I'm okay. And she's okay. I'm not sad today or feeling despicable. But I am tired of the fighting. I really can't wait for the hard parts to pass, and I can only hope that some of the love and attempted calm is getting through to her.

Checkbook... Games

I did need to vent my frustrations last week, but I have since taken down the post about money. No need to dwell on the gory details, nor share them with the world. Plus, while Doing the Bills last night I got especially reflective and grateful. Every little penny that I was sending out convincted me, whether it was going to pay for the luxury of on-demand hot water, or the fun of 3-year-old ballet lessons, or the blessing of someone to come and take our garbage away every Friday. Even writing checks for medical expenses made me feel full with everything I need.


How does your household handle the bills? Does one person own the task or do you share it? We try to switch off, so that one person handles them one month, and then it's the other's turn. We pay most things online through our bank, but still write a check here or there and -- get this -- still keep a paper check register along WITH our Quicken file. I guess it makes us feel in control? Or gives us a backup in case of a computer apocalypse? It's a pain, really, but I can't imagine not keeping it. (My greatest challenge is to keep my handwriting neat enough that it can be read!) We both "turn in" our daily debit receipts to the central billing location, and then once a week the person who's managing bills that month sits down to enter everything in, and pay what's due. I think it's a good system because neither of us is in the dark, but I'm interested in hearing how other families do it. Last night I told myself I could have a glass of wine ONLY when I sat down at the computer. It worked. :)


In related news, do you think our generation will even get to retire? I have serious doubts.


Okay, moving on: The Hunger Games, people. Requisite disclaimer: I'm the last person on earth. But I can't believe how fast I read this book, and how the characters have infiltrated my mind. I find myself thinking "Katniss Everdeen" all the time -- just her name. It's so pretty, surprisingly so. All the names, really, intrigue me. And I picture her shooting something with her bow and arrow, and think of little Rue and how I imgined her... then yesterday Twitter was talking about the movie trailer, so I had to go watch it, and WOW. The mood is exactly how I've been feeling. Despondent, kind-of, that such Games could possibly exist (even just in the author's mind) and that the Capitol could DARE to wish those poor kids favorable odds. But utterly fascinated at the idea of Panem. It is CRAZY. I bought Catching Fire immediately.

She even stayed in it, the first night...

We checked a few things off our list, including this one:

Most important, I approve of the mattress' comfort level. Since I'll end up sleeping in it frequently, I bet. ;) I've done no decorating around it, but as soon as I get an idea, I'll let you know. 

The Rapunzel sheets/comforter set, I have to admit, is pretty cute.

Justifiable

I really was/am sick! It's weird how GOOD that makes me feel -- like all my "being so tired" and "not wanting to DO anything" and "just feeling cruddy" don't actually need the quotation marks, they were real, and I AM ALLOWED. The doctor said so! She gave me 3 prescriptions to prove it. I am hopeful that after the past 10 days of this, we will be on the uptick soon! I already feel better today after one dose, but not completely better, which, again, makes me feel good and JUSTIFIED.

Here are some things I need to buy this weekend. I have been putting them off for various reasons, but we're about to reach the tipping point on some of them.

• KT's new bed. Still.
• New uniforms for my high-waters-wearin' AJ (hooray, he's growing!).
• Haircuts for both kids.
• Bulk food for my school-volunteer postion at Costco. Have I explained this? I was basically handed this job, and told that it would be SO EASY. Every 2 weeks, I go to Costco to buy 360 snack-packs of Oreos, 480 string cheeses (an entire case from the refigerated section), and plates/napkins/bowls/lunchbags for the school cafeteria. (It's not a working cafeteria, but the parents bring in food 3 days a week from various local eateries, which the kids can purchase). It's an interesting exercise, pushing around a big, orange pallet instead of a grocery cart, and I never fail to get comments as I go by with my 30 boxes of Oreos. People seem to forget that Costco is made for BULK purchases, it is not just your general supermarket. I'm trying to come up with clever retorts for "Whoa, that's a lot of Oreos!"
• Yeah, just trying to prevent people like you from getting too much trans-fat.
• We make a lot of "dirt cakes" at our house; I'm headed for the gummy worms aisle, next.
• This isn't a lot. You should see my storage facility back at the commune.
• Ever heard of hoarding, mister?? It's a disease, you should probably pray for me.

My manager just stared at my screen for 5 full minutes

... we were in a different browser Tab, but this one was up, with its "BLOGGER: hello, self!" title glaring at us. So oh well, she probably knows where to find me now. Not that I mind -- hello, $h@n (just in case)! I've told her I keep a blog, but I've never actually handed her the URL.

Happy Friday, people! It's been an "off" week, with Halloween on Monday night, hasn't it? Or was that just me? I don't know, I've felt like I'm tripping over my feet every day, not really remembering AJ's homework assignments and which days they're due, not having my usual lunchtime errands for birthday parties or volunteer-school-activities, and being out Monday night made the rest of the 4 days seem unplanned. Or something. I've also been s...l...o...w...l...y getting sick, which has been ANNOYING. Monday night after the candy madness, I got a really weird case of the shivers. I did hang out in the 50-degree temperatures for 2 hours-ish passing out candy and trick or treating, but the shivers happened after we came in and I'd been under my blankie for another hour. When we went upstairs to bed, I got the shakes and could. not. stop. It made brushing my teeth difficult. My lips looked gray/blue in the mirror. After DH did his best to hug them out of me, I bundled up and got into bed, slept well and very warm. The same thing happened on Tuesday night, but not quite so dramatically; I was just cold. Wednesday I felt mostly better. Thursday (yesterday) I had a headache. And last night and this morning, my throat has been sporting that tell-tale, pinpoint place of sore, where it hurts to swallow. I'd rather just have an all-out SICK DAY and call it done. This dragggggging on is driving me crazy (mostly because I'm not sick enough to just REST, I still have to DO STUFF)!

Bleh. It SURE makes for an interesting blog post, doesn't it?! Don't answer that.

When I went shopping with KT a few weeks ago, I let her/us buy a little bag of peach gummy rings as a treat. You know, they're made by the Jelly Belly company, and are orange and white with a sugar coating? They're so delicious and artificial-peachy. I haven't been able to get the taste out of my mind since then. They KEEP popping up in my memory! I wouldn't say they're my favorite candy, either -- just one that made a particular impression on me that day, I guess. My FAVORITE fruity candy is probably Jolly Ranchers, which I rarely buy, followed by original Skittles and Charms Blow-Pops. At work, we recently discovered some hard candies by Crystal Light, so they're sugar-free. I approve of those, too. It's fun having different kinds of candy in the house this week, I have to say -- normally we only keep M&Ms on-hand (old habit from the potty-training days, I guess, and for emergency chocolate needs). But the candy buckets are disappearing after this weekend.

I finally read The Namesake by Jumpha Lahiri, that Sherry lent me about THREE years ago. (I'm done now, Sherry!) It was quite good. I enjoy books where the main characters grow from children into adults, and this book did that in such a way it made me think about my own life cycle, and that death is part of that, and it's okay, and life goes on, and all those deep things. It's about a family of American immigrants from India and of course the colorful culture made it that much more interesting, but I think the story was really about family relationships and the timespan was exactly my lifespan (so far) -- I had the feeling that the main character was 37, just like me, at the end of the book -- and I liked that. I also enjoyed that it had a lot to do with his name, and his nickname, because I think that's such an important aspect of people's identities. Apparently it's even moreso in Indian families. The only other feeling I had of the book was that it was slightly sad, or maybe just grey. I think this was the main character's mood the majority of the book, actually. So if you need a lift, this may not be the book for you, but if you want something interesting and life-mirroring, then I recommend it.

It's hard to review books, isn't it? I know Swistle always says, "I liked it, but I didn't like it, and I recommend it, but I also DON'T." I'm feeling that very same thing right now. Next on my list is THE HUNGER GAMES, hooray!! Perhaps I'll recover from this stupid cold this weekend, in my bed, reading.