Christmas Party

I want to remember the Christmas party we went to on Saturday night. It was so fun. 

We don’t always have a lot of Christmas party invitations when we celebrate the holidays at home — in Pensacola we do, it’s a party every night there! — but this is one that has been pretty reliable over the years, except for the dumb Covid years. It’s at the home of some St. Joe’s friends from Alex’s grade, and so this year the added fun was that all the college freshmen were home from their first semesters, and in attendance. And they were all so great! To get genuine “hello again” hugs (and handshakes, I guess, for the Dads) from 18-19 year-olds that you’ve known since they were in Kindergarten together, is absolutely, 100% The Best. They didn’t stick around us parents long, but still. Everyone felt festive and relieved that we all made it through the challenge of sending our birdies out of their nests; I felt it physically, a lightness and joy regarding their being with us, at this “adult” party, actually being adults.

There was a moment when I was seated at a round table with my friend Emily, and we were having deep conversations about important topics, but also laughing, and I realized how happy and comfortable I was. Granted, I’d finished my large glass of Cabernet. I was bound to feel good and I do get lovey when I’ve had a drink. 

But nevertheless, it was a very good party. I had made guacamole which was well received. I’d also found a pretty sweater top I forgot I had, that fit me nicely. I didn’t spill anything, ha! Kate had a party of her own to go to (which was a happy coincidence, she wouldn’t have enjoyed this party). It just all worked out perfectly. I’m going to try to remember it when I inevitably feel sad that we’re not doing more socializing over the rest of the holidays. 

Four Days In A Row

Y'all. I had to go to my office FOUR DAYS in a row this week. 

We had visitors from Germany (head office) and all over, and long meetings on Wednesday and Thursday. Bonus: We had 3 days of free lunches, woo! Detriment: These were not very healthy lunches, heh. I didn't mind so much that, as having to get fully dressed, with makeup, and do my hair, every day before 8:00 am! Whew! How did I used to do that every day?! My body and I do not remember at all.

But I survived it somehow, and it is TGIFriday and I am at my kitchen table again where I belong. I am wearing soft pants, I drank my coffee from a Christmas mug this morning instead of a metal tumbler (I dislike a metal tumbler SO much, because I do think it affects the taste), and I have lit a candle in honor of the occasion.

Naturally, I have lots of home-tasks that I would like to be working on today: Christmas loooooms! But December is always a very busy work month, too, ugh. So I'm trying to be focused on my laptop, minus this blog-break (I did two work tasks prior! I have worked)! I guess tonight after dinner (maybe, if I have any energy left) and tomorrow, I will work on the home things:

• Shipping presents to my parents and to Aunt Jane (today! I hope!)
• Making meal plans for the holiday break (Alex is home! Gotta make sure some of his faves are on the menu so he'll long for home when he goes back, lol)
• Shopping for the holiday break, including baking ingredients
• Cleaning the kitchen, before making more messes
• Making Christmas treats/cookies
• Duh, present-wrapping (my closet is a mess of hidden shipments and boxes)
• Addressing Christmas cards, ack, I am so behind on that!
• Getting starting with the guest room overhaul - I would like to rework the guest room significantly over break and that means taking a bunch of stuff to Goodwill or throwing it out

It's ambitious, I know. Maybe I'm crazy. Because we also need to make sure Alex gets his booster and flu shots while he's home, gets his car washed, and he has a couple of doctor appointments while he's here. AND I'd even like to have friends over once or twice, casually, during the break, just so it feels a little festive since we aren't traveling. As much as I want to see my parents and cousins in FL, we did so much traveling around Thanksgiving that I think we all need to have an at-home holiday. We'll see -- Shawn is considering another trip to Savannah while he has days off. I have plans to go to FL in late January, actually, with my sister. 

All's well. It's a busy time of year for everyone, so I'm not complaining. The sun is finally out, here in Georgia, and we have very cold temperatures, which feels right. Merry and bright, as December should be. I want to tell you about this excellent book I'm reading - maybe about several I've read in the past few months - and once I figure out the Christmas menus, that will be fun to talk about, too. Onward we go, with holiday sparkle in our steps! (Yesterday two albums brought me joy: the old favorite, Harry Connick Jr's When My Heart Find Christmas, and the brand-new Kings Return EP, A Merry Little Christmas, plus their version of O Holy Night -- it's incredible. 5 stars for both, highly recommend.) 

Packaged Foods I Love

I started this post before Susan died in mid-November. So I'll post it now as a little buffer. We'll still be feeling the loss through the holidays, of course, and posting normal day-to-day stuff seems disrespectful, even though it's not. But I don't want to just write about something sad. Hard to handle. Anyway... 

That title seems so silly, but I was just eating a snack that I love, and I had something for lunch today that made me say, "That was SO good," to no one in particular (I was the only one here), so here we are.

Harvest Snaps by Calbee is the snack I just finished. Well, I wanted to finish it -- the entire bag -- but I restrained myself, if only so I'll have some left to eat tomorrow. I love their black bean crisps in the Sweet & Spicy Mango Chile Lime flavor. Is that a mouthful or what (lol, pun intended)! They're just so delicious, and they're the perfect amount of crisp, like a potato chip, without being greasy or making me think about my cholesterol. I'm not opposed to the Cracked Black Pepper Pea variety, either, although they seem to leave me with an unpleasant feel on the roof of my mouth, where the black bean doesn't. I wish they weren't quite as expensive as they are, in my grocery store at least. I haven't shopped around to find any bargains or discounts, but I should! I would be happy to get a box of these as a cheap, easy Christmas gift, even, lol. Is that weird? (Also, it is definitely time for Christmas gifts stress.)

StarKist Bold Tuna Creations in the Hot Buffalo flavor are another favorite. NEVER in a million years would I have thought I'd say that, but I do, and I did say, out loud, "That was SO good," after eating it today for my lunch. All protein (and salt), huge, bold flavor, I eat it straight out of the packet with a fork. No need to dress it up, although it's also good over a salad with Ranch or bleu cheese dressing. I'm sure it would make a good, if unconventional, tuna salad. The Spicy Thai Chili and Jalepeno are also yummy, and the Sweet and Spicy will work in a pinch, but Hot Buffalo remains my all-time fave.

I saw this graphic out in Internet-land, with the caption "You can only have two." 

Easy: Star Crunch and Nutty Buddy. I've loved Star Crunch since I first had them at my Aunt's house in 1986, and Nutty Buddy with their peanut buttery-ness are just The Best. My kids and husband would choose Oatmeal Creme Pies, but not me. And I definitely don't get the teens' love for Cosmic Brownies. 

Aldi Southern Pecan coffee is something new I've discovered in the last year or so. It's not overly flavorful, and yet there is something there I can't put my finger on, that makes it better than a "regular" cup of, say, Breakfast Blend. I am definitely becoming an Aldi fan, the more I shop there.

I have to get back to work. Today I'm doing not only my full-time job, but also helping Kate on two end-of-semester projects, while she has a "virtual day" because of the GA runoff election today. So it's crazy. Do you have any particular packaged-food faves? :)

Thanksgiving

I don't owe anyone any explanations, and most everyone reading here already knows this, but it's been a long time and here's where I've been: Shawn's mom passed away. It was sudden, very unexpected. So we've been to Savannah and back again, had Thanksgiving at home, and are going back to Savannah this weekend for the funeral (one thing I appreciate about the pandemic is that it made postponing those kinds of things acceptable). 

It is, of course, still hard to believe she's gone. She was only 76 and we thought in fairly good health. She was certainly still active enough. Last night when I was dishing up bowls of turkey gumbo for our dinner, I had the feeling she should be calling. She always called at dinnertime. We're reminded once again that life is so short, and we never know when our time will come. 

We had a quiet Thanksgiving at home. Alex was here from Tuesday - Friday (he had to go back to play with the marching band on Saturday) and I was proud of myself for getting the meal all ready on time. My tribute to Susan was that I made her dinner rolls ("yeast rolls" on my yellowed recipe card). It was my first time doing that by myself; I had helped her once or twice by rolling them out and buttering/folding over, but I'd never made the dough. I think I need to work on it for the future, but they were edible. I also borrowed -- well, I guess I don't have to give it back -- her Bundt pan and made this pumpkin spice cake, which was delicious and, in my opinion, cake is more enjoyable than pumpkin pie. 

For myself, I'm feeling some grief-like ...uncertainty is the word, I guess. Just like everything is hovering slightly above ground; like gravity doesn't fully work right now. Like I don't really have a handle on our calendar or the day-to-day things, even though I probably do. I wonder when it will all settle? An out-of-town coworker made me teary on Zoom today when she offered to mention Susan in her rosary prayer group tomorrow. What a gift to have people praying for you and your loved ones, and their souls. What a gift it was to know my mother in law. I'm thankful.

Sports Lessons

It's about to be club volleyball season again, so last night Kate and I went to her club's gym for Day 2 of tryouts. It was not one bit fun. 

(Well, I was happy to see mom-friends from last season, but the mood of the room was pretty fraught.)

Our club, for whatever reason, conducts tryouts "from the top down." I don't know if all the volleyball clubs do it this way. On Day 1, this means they begin forming their #1 team, a team at the "national" level that will travel to multiple tournaments outside our immediate geographic area. Kate and I prefer a "regional" team, which plays most of its tournaments in the Atlanta metro, but does travel out of town for one tournament (driving distance). And you can indicate, up front, which types of teams you are trying out for (there's also a "local" level which is exclusively in-town tournaments). 

Of course the very most ambitious girls usually want to be on a national team. Kate wants to, too, but for budget and time reasons, that's out of reach for us. I can't justify spending for plane tickets or gasoline, and hotels, 8 or 9 weekends of the spring, plus a final trip to Orlando in the summer. And I can't just take off work whenever I want to on a Friday to go to these tournaments. So we chose "regional" on the sign-up form. It's still stupid expensive at that level, but at least manageably so.

Naturally then, she didn't get picked for the #1 or #2 teams which are national. On Day 2 they started building the #3 regional team. All the girls rotate around the courts and gyms, playing non-stop while the various coaches stand on the sidelines with clipboards and iPads, making notes. One by one, girls get called over by coaches, and there they receive their offer to be part of a team. 

It's brutal. For many reasons. Number one, and my mind has been trying to formulate this thought all weekend, is that we PAY to tryout -- so we pay for the privilege of hoping that we'll get offered the chance to... pay them more money as a member of a team. Highway robbery, no? 

More important than that, though, is that as your daughter is playing her heart out, trying to show off her very best skills, she's seeing her friends and teammates get called over, while she maybe doesn't. If she's not called early in the day, then she knows she isn't being chosen for the higher level teams, which is discouraging. The later it gets, the worse she feels. And yet she has to keep playing her best. 

Anyway, Kate was the very last of her friends to be pulled last night, with about 20 minutes left of the tryout. She was offered a spot on the #5 team, which to her, means she isn't very talented at all. (I argue this point -- the #3, #4, #5, and #6 teams are all "regional," and so I see them as all the SAME level, but Kate does not.) She isn't on the same team as many of her friends from last year (most of whom got offers for the #4 team). So to her, it was a failure. AND YET, as I keep trying to gently point out to her -- some girls in that gym played until the very end and got NO offer. 

Is this the most heartless of systems, or is it just my momma heart that can't take it? 

I hope that in a few weeks the pain of the tryout will blow over and she will be making new friends on her new team, and they will play well together. Sports, man. They're not for the weak.

The Care Package Dilemma(s)

Something I really want to do, regarding Alex's freshman year of college, has yet to happen: A Care Package Sent from Home. 

I've had it on my mind since before we left him in Athens on August 12. In fact, I had written a little To-Do Item, "Care Package," on the September 1 page of my planner, so I wouldn't forget. I wanted to give him a little time to miss me first, and then swoop into his shiny new post office box with a creatively and lovingly packed reminder of home.  

My Mom sent me a few care packages, particularly during my freshman year. I still have the little ceramic Halloween candle she tucked into the first package along with some candy corns and warm socks. My Mom was also the BEST letter-writer. When she wasn't sending packages, she was definitely sending long, newsy letters on cute, seasonally appropriate printer paper (remember that??), and I loved to receive them, and read them while walking back to my dorm, or on a bench on the quad with fall leaves underfoot (seems too perfect but it was truly a thing I did, and a memory I cherish).

I've also studied our friend Swistle's many wonderful posts about care packages. I started reading them well before I even had a kid in college, of course, and I want to be like Swistle! I did use her lists as a good supplement to UGA's "what to bring" dorm lists, and made sure Alex started out with some Easy Mac, vitamins, his favorite cookies (Chewy Chips Ahoy), band aids, hand warmers for when it gets cold, gift cards, granola bars, etc. 

But the universe has conspired against me, otherwise, and so far I have sent him Zero packages! Not even from Amazon! (And also not from the places that want you to subscribe to their "cards for college" service, and deliver pre-made care packages on the regular to your Darling Son or Darling Daughter. I have mixed feelings about these, but mostly don't believe in them... except when I start worrying that everyone is getting them once a month like clockwork while my kid isn't.) 

The obstacles have included:

• He came home after two weeks, again after five weeks, and a third time after 7 weeks. While I have loved getting to see him, it does sort-of preclude the SENDING of a little giftie.
• We went to see HIM! We enjoyed our first football game in Athens and that, too, negated the need to send him something. 
• Other people have beat me to it! His girlfriend's mom got a package to him last week, as did his Gammy! So now it's another "reset" - I feel like I need to wait to send him anything lest his room be covered up in candy and granola bars! And by the time he runs low on supplies it will be Thanksgiving! 

So I can't win. Have I handed him gift bags of stuff, when I've seen him? Yes, definitely, it being my only option. When we went to the football game, I put candy corn (he likes it), some other Halloween candy and do-dads (a dish to put the candy corn IN), some cough drops and Flonase, and I can't remember what else into a cute bag. When he has come home on a weekend, I've asked if he needs anything before my weekly grocery shopping, and sent him back with a box of Pop Tarts or a 6-pack of Coke. Last night, we saw him for a brief minute -- his marching band performed in Cobb County! -- and I gave him a DampRid refill for his dorm, a Sprite for the bus ride home, a couple of microwave noodle bowls, and a Ziploc of homemade cookies. That satisfied my itch somewhat. 

But I'm really sad that my vision of him being delightfully surprised by a box filled with clever treats hasn't happened yet. 

Not Feeling Writer-y

I haven't felt at all like blogging yet, in October. Still don't. But I want to share, for my 2 and a half readers, that all is well! I just don't feel like there's much to say about it.

We seem to be in the rhythm of our schoolyear now, rolling along as normal. Fall Break got derailed by Hurricane Ian, so instead of our trip to Charleston, we went to Pensacola. Sorry, Sherry!! I'm still so sad about it. But of course we had a nice time with Mom and Dad. Spent a great day at the beach and another afternoon strolling and lunching downtown. (And taking one million photos of Kate in her cute outfit, because that is what 14-year-old girls want to do. I tried not to mind too much, but I'm not sure I was successful; I'm not the best photographer, I was told.) 

Fall has been beautiful here. More sunny, crisp days, please! Yesterday we had cloudy and rainy, which I like, but I think I prefer sunny. 

My few little Halloween decorations are up, and I bought the mission-critical Reese's pumpkins and seasonal Hershey's Kisses. 

I've been going to the office twice a week, and trying to put on makeup and make an effort even if I'm working at home. Ha. 

Lined up for the next month: An appointment with a new podiatrist, then a mammogram, then a colonoscopy. Big fun!

Today I'm making Loaded Potato Soup in the crock pot, and working on a big, mindless photo-sizing project, so that means I'll be able to listen to podcasts while I work. I've been doing a lot of that lately, too. Oh! and watching Abbott Elementary and Derry Girls. I love them both so much! 

Hope you're well!

"Go Dawgs" and "Glory, Glory"

A work colleague of Shawn's gave us 3 tickets to this past weekend's UGA game. Tickets are expensive, I have learned, when a college team is highly ranked and reigning national champion. So getting the tickets for nothing was amazing and we're so grateful. 

We left our house at 6:15 am for the noon game on Saturday. Painful to get up that early, sure, but when we arrived at our parking deck at around 8:00 am, we were definitely NOT the only ones. People were setting up their tailgate tents and tables, I presume they were serving breakfast? Not super clear on that. Next time it might be fun to tailgate but we didn't even attempt it ourselves for our first go-round. The "Dawg Walk" was scheduled to begin at 9:45 anyway, so we were there in time to walk to the student center, get coffee, and then Alex met us and showed us where to stand. 

The band lines up on either side of a walkway and then the players' charter bus drives up, and out they walk, very nicely dressed (suits and ties, or suits and handsome turtlenecks), led by the cutie cheerleaders, of course, and the band plays and it's all very spirited and wonderful!

Then there's the game, itself, even more spectacular. The stadium is enormous, and it was FILLED with fans. It was a beautiful 80-degree day (although it felt much warmer than that in our no-shade seats and we did get sunburned!), with blue skies, lovely breezes every once in a while... and our team won. It was a great game, too -- not the blowout we'd expected, but fun to watch and a little nerve-wracking! There were fumbles and interceptions and highs and lows. 

The halftime show was pretty incredible, too. Band parents live for halftime. :)

Afterwards we made the obligatory trip to the campus bookstore, walked over to let Kate see her brother's dorm room (which hasn't changed at all since we moved him in, lol - we thought he might decorate a little, put up a photo or two on the walls, but no... at least it was clean), and took him to dinner at a nearby BBQ place. 

It was such a great day, a full-on Experience. Alex is happy, doing what he loves. We are newly-minted Dawgs fans for life, I guess, with the t-shirts and hats to prove it. 

And Sunday we were (at least I was) exhausted. 

Onward to this week: Kate's Fall Break. I'm working M, T, W and then she and I are taking a girls' trip to Charleston, SC. (What is with schools these days having SO many breaks?! When I was growing up, it was Spring Break, Christmas, and Summer, that was it. But our school district has THREE week-long breaks, one in September, one in February, and Spring Break in April. Plus a full week off for Thanksgiving. Shawn and I have historically NEVER had enough vacation time to take a trip for all three of those. Yet, some kids do. And our kids know about those trips because of stupid Social Media. It pisses me off, frankly.) I do have some banked vacation time now (Shawn doesn't, bummer), so I booked a hotel, bought us tickets to Sherry's theater -- finally! after 10 years! -- and I can't wait for that. I'm crossing my fingers for good weather so Kate can have at least a little bit of a beach day somehow. Other than that, I'm planning on brunch, some exploring in the most beautiful parts of downtown, maybe a pedicure if we can find a place, and just leisurely girl-time. We won't be there too long, but hopefully it will scratch Kate's itch to be somewhere else, and I know it will at least give her some pretty #vaca photos to post to Instagram and BeReal (eyeroll).

Until then, it's a regular week, but I've got fall vibes (it actually is cooler here): 

S - Chicken and white bean chili.

M - Pumpkin-alfredo ravioli, with salad

T - we'll probably get takeout

W - Foil pack Cajun chicken and vegetables, with cornbread

Happy Monday!

A Morning Walk, and Other Pleasantries

I think there's nothing more pleasant than a morning walk when the weather is nice. And nice, for me, means cool (at least down in the 60s but I don't mind cooler than that) and low humidity. We have that kind of weather this week, hooray! So I just got back from my walk. I saw several hawks enjoying the morning air (I love hawks!).

Equally nice is an over-easy egg on toast, with Cholula and salt & pepper. You can't beat that for breakfast. A poached egg is nice, too, but for me that's a little more trouble. 

A really great workday is the day you can work from home after having to be in the office. This week, we had VIP visitors so it was all-butts-in-seats Monday and Tuesday, but my manager said I didn't have to be there today if I didn't want to, and guess what? I didn't. ;) Today I'm back at my home office, with the windows open and the cats standing watch there, until it gets too warm. 

Another great workday, I just learned, is a WFH day from your (my) parents' house! I took a quick trip last week to Pensacola. Left here Sunday, so we had Sunday night and Monday Labor Day to relax and do nothing, and then on Tuesday and Wednesday, I got up early with the laptop. It was nice! Lovely to just be there and have breakfast, lunch and dinner together. To watch TV together. I tried to be helpful, too, although I feel like I should have done more (definitely should have looked at some health care stuff with Mom, whoops -- next time). I'm going to plan to do that more frequently, I think. Would they like to see the rest of my family, too? Sure. But I think they liked seeing me, alone, just fine. And I sure liked being with them.

Something I've been doing on my WFH days lately, is stopping at 4:00 or 5:00, sitting down with a book and setting a timer for 30 or 45 minutes. Sometimes it morphs into a power nap, other times it doesn't. But usually Kate has just come home from school, so she's having her "chill out" time, too (sometimes she falls asleep) and it's been a DELIGHT to treat myself in that way. Then I'll get up and start dinner. Of course this will change when other activities come into play -- volleyball is about to start up again -- but for now I will TAKE IT. :)

Updates: I think the back extension exercises are helping, and I've stopped doing forward bends, (yes, even the yoga kind). I feel like I have fewer days of outright pain. Is it fully healed? Still no. But I feel a bit better. Shawn is rolling his eyes at me and silently begging me to go see someone. I'm the man in our relationship as far as doctor visits are concerned: I'd rather not. But next up in aches and pains: Plantar fasciitis. I went to a podiatrist once for this problem, and it was the WORST medical experience I've ever had. The guy seemed SO uninterested in helping me, and even seemed like he didn't know what he was doing. But this, my right heel, does seem to be getting worse, not better. Argh. 

Alex is doing great at college. We get to see him this weekend for a band thing (we're going to watch his girlfriend march at her university), so that will be nice. He told me that yesterday he spent a lot of time outside studying. How awesome is that?! 

5 on a Friday

1. The back pain hasn't gotten any better. I've spent the last 2 days deep in the internet, looking up more possible causes and potential solutions. There are a lot of YouTube videos, I can tell you that. My low back aches, um, I would say pretty constantly. It's not sharp pain, it's just always there. I'm still determined to figure it out and self-treat it with the right stretches and care, but I'm not ruling out a visit to a chiropractor or physical therapist in the near future. My theory is that I've strained --over-flexed--  the muscles back there. I do stretch my back a LOT with rounded forward bends, child's pose, and cat/cows; maybe too much. Sitting is also considered flexion, and I have a desk job. It doesn't hurt down through my leg or in my hamstring so I don't think there's any nerve or disc involvement (from what I can read). So this week's remedy is that I'm trying to NOT bend forward, definitely not in the first couple of hours after waking up, and to do more -gentle- extension stretches (superman pose, cobra, etc.) I also bought some Aspercreme.

2. Alex is coming home for a quick visit today. We all have mixed feelings about that, including him -- isn't all the advice to "stick it out," even though it's hard at first? It's been 2 weeks. I haven't posted much about his high school girlfriend (perhaps nothing at all?), but this relates to her. She's attending Georgia State University in Atlanta and they're Trying To Make It Work long-distance. I should probably say no more, except that I will be glad to see him and give him a hug. And that plenty of people, Shawn included, went home frequently on weekends during their college years, and they turned out just fine. I wonder if he's bringing his laundry for me to do. ;)

3. Tonight is the high school Homecoming football game, and tomorrow is the dance! Unusually early. Kate is attending both, with her quickly-made group of girlfriends. I couldn't be happier for her to have found new friends so early on! We bought a dress -- two, actually, that were on sale for $39 each at Macy's -- and she is going to someone's house afterwards. Potential for Shawn and me to have TWO date nights in a row! Having teenagers is awesome. 

4. Jeans: What in the heck is the style this season for moms?? I know there are "mom-jeans" for teens, but I am not interested in that particular cut on my particular middle, thank you very much -- and I don't even know if actual moms are "allowed" to wear them? The only other trend I see is jeans that are very much ripped to pieces, and I'm not doing that either. I guess I don't NEED new jeans... I have a couple pairs I bought last year that are slightly boot-cut and fully intact... maybe it doesn't even matter. However I'm dressed, it's going to be "like a mom" and will be embarrassing. 

5. I can't find a bottled cold-brew coffee that's any good. Kate loves her iced coffee, and I think life would be so much simpler if I could just keep a bottle in the fridge for her, rather than making it hot (we use a Keurig) and then having to immediately cool it down, every day. But the bottled ones I've tried so far taste gross. Can anyone recommend one? 

6. Bonus! I've been reading another fun novel by Jojo Moyes: The Last Letter From Your Lover. It's set in London in the 1960s and starts with a car accident wherein a woman is injured and gets amnesia. Sounds hokey, but it's very well done, and then, surprise, Part 3 is set in present-day! I love this author, highly recommend the book and I haven't even finished it yet.

Hope you have a happy weekend! 

Dinners this week, now with less Alex

We survived move-in day. Actually it was very smooth and well-organized, there was not much acute stress involved! Just that low-level stress and dread when you're about to let your firstborn go off on his own. Ha. One tiny frustration when Alex first tried his room key and couldn't seem to get the door open -- it's a sticky, heavy door you have to shove -- and I thought, "Uh-oh, this is not a good way to start out!" But never fear, we/he figured it out. Some bullet-y notes:

• While waking up at 5am was not fun, the 8am move-in slot was a good call -- fewer people around, fresh volunteers ready to help, short lines, etc.
• It was GOOD that his roommate wasn't there yet, because we could get set up easily, using the 2nd bed area to toss empty boxes and stash things while we got situated.
• It was not so good that his roommate wasn't there yet, for loneliness/homesickness reasons after we parents left.
• On the other hand, maybe that was also good.
• Rolling bins! The school provided these deep, wide bins to take things up in the elevator. We got all of Alex's worldly possessions in one bin (plus a few things carried by hand) and made it in ONE trip! This was amazing. The dorm he's in is 9 stories; elevators are critical! Thankfully Alex is on the 3rd floor and right near a staircase if he's ever in a hurry. 
• We were grateful that a huge rain burst didn't start while we had an open cart outdoors -- it waited until we were done moving in, safely under a roof!
• Making a bunk bed is still a PITA! I remember from the one year I had one, ugh. This is why college kids never wash their sheets and I can't say I blame them.
• It's so much easier to have a BOY, particularly one who doesn't care too much about decor. We didn't even get him a futon, just a mini papasan chair. We saw a lot of dads carrying in lots of extra things, like bins and curtains and rugs and ottomans! We did our best to make Alex's tiny room livable, with a small rug, throw pillow, blanket and bookshelf, but... it still looks like a dorm. He has what he needs. (I do hope he'll hang some pictures on his walls but I left that to him -- it's his room, after all.) These moms who do a full-scale magazine spread for their kids are not letting the kid BE HIS OWN PERSON, in my opinion. Have you seen this crazy dorm-room Instagram account? We don't live in MS, but wow, that makes me want to throw things. People HIRE someone to do these. To decorate a DORM. Insanity.
• We took him to (a delicious) lunch, one last little trip to Target, and then we had to leave. It was as terrible as you would expect it to be, for me. I got so choked up. And could see the tears in his eyes, too. I remember that, being in his shoes. Wanting to be brave and excited, but feeling so nervous at the same time.
• Enough of that. I let the tears fall quite a bit in the car on the way home, but I know he's okay and I'm excited for him. Band camp started Saturday morning bright and early, roommate moved in Sunday and I was able to send a little bag with a couple more things I thought he needed. He's doing it! It's going to be great!

And he isn't coming home for dinner, sob... but that has meant: Seafood and creamy sauces! Alex is not a fan. So guess what? We can eat it as much as we want now, haha!

This week's menu: 

Saturday: Sushi rolls we made ourselves. Used both crab and (cooked) salmon, and they were delicious. 

Sunday: Skinny fettucine alfredo with shrimp, and Caesar salad.

Monday: (takeout)

Tuesday: Baked chicken with this creamy veg casserole (I know, I know, canned Cream of Mushroom is so gauche! But makes a yummy sauce, ya gotta admit)

Wednesday: (volleyball so it's Helpie Selfie)

Thursday: I planned homemade margherita pizza, but I couldn't find fresh basil at either store I went to! Will have to go again later this week (which I hate to do, but sometimes can't be helped).

Friday: is the first home high school football game, and I think we're going! 

Our May-to-August gauntlet of huge life-events has finally become a chapter, closed. I am so grateful for all of it, so glad we had those experiences. And so glad they are now in the rearview. Onward! Go Dawgs! ;) 

Hardest Part

My baby bird is almost ready to fly out of the nest. Of course, he is no baby; but you can't tell the mama bird that. I've been feeling The Sads for sure, mostly when I'm alone. It seems a little more pronounced this morning: only 2 days left, and it is grey and rainy-looking outside. 

There are a few great things about this time, to help me counterbalance myself. My mama friends and I are checking on each other frequently, which is so nice. We're all in this together. We're planning a brunch or wine night after everyone gets settled at their respective colleges; hopefully we'll boo-hoo a little, and then laugh a lot more. There's also this flood of memories: I've been trying really hard to put myself back in the shoes of the new college kid, and remember just how much FUN it was when I was a freshman who had just moved into her dorm. I think my freshman year was my very favorite year, out of four great years (I loved college so much). All shiny and new. Everyone else, too -- no one had an edge, we were all wide-eyed and knew nothing. Meeting people from Ohio, Minnesota, Baltimore, California, Philadelphia. Deciding which ones I wanted to be friends with. My freshman hallmates were sweet and we were pretty close at the beginning. I loved gathering up a group to go to dinner together, and letting our RA take us some of the places we needed to know about for the first time, like the nearby grocery store, or where to get the best frozen yogurt. I loved the newness of classes, and having them in interesting buildings, and walking across a grassy quad in between them. 

So: I'm trying to keep my focus there, instead of here at home, where his room is about to be empty and silent, and I won't need to buy apple juice as frequently because Kate doesn't really drink it. It's weird, those tiny things that will change. The hallway door to his bathroom can finally stay open, instead of how he keeps it closed and locked. His keys won't be hanging on the hook by the garage. There will be plenty of room on the living room couch since there will only be 3 of us.

I remind myself that he'll come back. On every form, his "Permanent Address" still says our house. And my coworker reminded me, 'If he's like most kids of this generation, he may come back after 4 years and live with you again," hahaha. And he may. We told him he's welcome to do that... while he figures out what to do next. 

There's also hope that the day of move-in will be stressful enough that I won't cry too much. This is what got me through his graduation ceremony without a single tear. The chaos of hauling boxes and bins to the third floor should make me too sweaty and tired to be sad, thank the good Lord. 

Anyway, we've arrived at the part of parenting that we never thought would get here this quickly. It is an unsurprising roller coaster of feelings and I'll be glad when the motion stops for a bit. I'll be glad when it's a Sunday night and we can have a somewhat regular FaceTime call with him, and hear about how much fun he's having.

These next two days, though: definitely the hardest part.

Make a list

• I'm grateful for a work from home day, after a frustrating day at my office yesterday (very dumb meeting, very dumb "project" walking around "helping" my manager decorate the walls (she did not need any help, it was useless for me to be there)). Today I am home with my best coworkers, the cats, and my Alex, with whom I only have 10 days left!
• I'm grateful for my parents, who generously financed a 529 account for Alex 18 years ago, which I used this morning to pay our first bill from the University of Georgia. 
• I'm grateful for the Zell Miller Scholarship (funded by the state, available to every student who meets GPA and SAT/ACT qualifications and goes to school in-state), which funded the tuition portion of that bill (but which, despite everyone's misperceptions, does not even cover half the cost of attendance - the educators around here make it sound like it's a free ride. It is not. Still, money on the table if a kid has the grades).
• I'm grateful for having dinner last night with Alex's soon-to-be roommate and his family. We're not all besties yet, but we did exchange phone numbers and had some good laughs and Mexican food, and I know that in time we're going to feel more comfortable with each other. 
• I'm grateful that the roommate himself is a chatty, interesting (and nice) dude; I think he'll help Alex come out of his shell a bit, conversationally, and I envision their dorm room will be a fun place to hang out. (I so loved the freshman dorm vibe when I was in college; I am grateful for those memories and hopeful Alex will have a similar experience.)
• I'm grateful that even though the stupid "here comes the bus" app has yet to work correctly this semester, Kate has made it to school each morning with no issues.
• I'm grateful she has had such a good first 2 days at school, seems to be meeting people and making friends, and is enjoying her classes. Hooray for getting over the hump of starting a new school! 
• I'm grateful she is enrolled in both French I and Chorus, so that I can re-live my younger years vicariously through her! (So. Geeked.)
• I'm grateful for friends checking on each other via text message, as we countdown to the first day of school here locally, and the upcoming days when we are moving our big kids into their dorms! 
• I'm grateful for my husband being so steady and dependable, and for always making me laugh even when I'm trying to be moody. 
• I'm grateful for good sleep.
• I'm grateful for work to do today.
• I'm grateful for breath in my lungs and a body to move around in.

High School Orientation! and Clothes

Another rite of passage today: Took Kate to Orientation for high school. There isn't too much to tell, really. She was nervous, but handled it. Met one girl in her homeroom (yay!) and saw the couple of kids she knows. She said she feels better after having gone, so the event served its purpose. One day left of summer vacation.

I do love our high school. Today, part of the parent presentation was to introduce our new mascots (our mascot is a bulldog) -- real live dogs in the building, wearing cute little dog-sized football jerseys in the team's colors!   

Moving on: Let's talk for one minute about how GREAT school uniforms are -- or, were, in our case. Kate is most nervous about what to wear every day, and I totally get it. I've been thinking about trying a clothes-rental subscription. Did you know this is a thing? My sister does it. She always has something cute on, and it turns out, she rents all these things! 

You get a box with, from what I can tell, 4-6 new pieces based on your style profile, and you wear them for a month, then send them back. And then you get another shipment! To me it seems like a perfect, chef's-kiss solution for teenage girls who are so fickle in what they like ("in" today, trash tomorrow!) and always want new, cute things. Of course these would be used cute things, but let's not dither over details. I also like that it's that "sustainable fashion" mindset; instead of buying something and wearing it a couple of times and then throwing it away or giving it to Goodwill, you send it back and someone else enjoys it.

Of course I would feel like I wasn't giving equal kid-treatment since her brother definitely was NOT offered such a thing. But boys wear athletic shorts and tshirts every day. Dressing a girl is a different animal entirely. 

It's somewhat expensive -- around $80-90 per month usually. But I don't know... maybe? I have spent an average of MUCH MORE than $80/month on clothes for Kate in the last 4 months. Granted, we've been trying to build a bit of a wardrobe after 9 years of plaid skirts and knee socks. But it seems like this would be a wise investment. I wonder if she would be at all interested. I'm not seeing a "teen" option on any of the sites so far, but maybe that's okay? Better, even, since there would be fewer teeny tiny crop tops that are barely a shirt.

---haha, Edited to add: I mentioned this to Kate just now and she is NOT interested. She says, "That would be so weird." Oh well. Keeping it here in case maybe you are intrigued, dear Reader! :)

Stretchy, and Plowing through Summer

The next few paragraphs might sound like I'm grumbling, but I really feel good about this situation, like I'm in control of it and things are bound to get better if I just put in the work.

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In an attempt to relieve all the lower back pain I've been having -- A LOT, more intense at the time of the month, but nearly always, even without that -- I've been stretching my hamstrings. Morning and evening, those "reclined 4" stretches where you lay flat, cross one ankle over the other bent knee, then pull up both legs toward your chest. And then also just straight-leg-into-the-sky stretches, focused on elongating the hamstring. Ooof. It hurts so good. I was hopeful that 7 days, twice a day, 4x each side and each exercise, would start to make a difference in my back... but today is the 7th day, and as of yet, no dice. I will keep going. 

I also bought a seat cushion made of gel and ergonomically constructed. It's much more comfy than the hard kitchen chair, that's for sure. But it also causes my feet to no longer touch the floor and I know that to be the most correct posture, ergonomically. I am determined to figure this out. 

People always say core, core, core to support and protect the lower back. I am not doing sit-ups, no matter what. I will do planks and standing-abs work and maybe a few Pilates-like moves, but I don't like it, Sam I Am. So here's hoping the stretching helps after 14 days. (I have also considered trying a Pilates studio, but that's only IF the rest of this stuff doesn't help at all.)

As long as I'm updating the "health" category, I went to the doctor yesterday and my cholesterol is still good. Thank you, Lipitor. 

Oh, another thing I bought that may be silly, but I couldn't resist: this foot-roller contraption. I haven't been as diligent about using it as doing the back stretches. Still waiting for it to be a miracle cure for the pain I feel in my heels every morning. 

Don't you just love when old people talk about nothing but their aches and pains?! 

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We returned from a little Orientation jaunt to the Univ. of GA. What fun! Shawn and I were like two kids in a candy store, and Alex very generously let us talk to him, when he was with us. Everything was so well planned! The amenities are so great! (And people wonder why the cost of college has gone up so much.) The school did a good job of dividing the time evenly, letting the kids be with other kids and leave us old people to our own devices (i.e., lectures from administrators). He slept in the dorm while we stayed in a hotel. He had fun things to do at night while we went to dinner and then watched a documentary in the hotel room. He met with his advisor and then registered for his first semester WITHOUT MY HELP at all! Imagine. 

I know he is ready and now even more excited to start, and it's a good thing because the days left of summer are very few! In fact, Kate only has 2 weeks until her first day of school. This is our plight in the modern South - for some reason, we end school ever earlier in May and start near July when our air conditioners have barely cooled off the classrooms - it doesn't make sense. 

But much of the weather doesn't make sense any more, does it?! We've had the rainiest summer I can remember. HOT, yes, like most of the country -- stupid hot. But also, so rainy. Nearly every day in July, I think, there has been rain. (Except the 2 days we were walking around in Athens, thank heavens.) Usually it includes thunder and lightning. I mean, I love a rainy day and it's generally good for my garden! But the tomatoes are a little overwatered at this point, and I'm not sure what to do about that.

Kate has two new books, which she asked for, so I hope she will be able to keep herself entertained today while I proofread a training manual for work. It's still hard, managing summer entertainment when you have to have a job -- but definitely easier than when they were younger. Yesterday, for instance, Alex and his girlfriend took Kate swimming at the girlfriend's pool. So nice of them. Last week, she did a one-day volleyball camp. I need to see if she can invite a friend over one day next week, to break up the monotony of the days. Maybe I can drop them at the mall for a while (although it's scary to think how many malls have been in the news lately, gah). Maybe not.

Today I've got red beans in the crockpot for our dinner. I'm not sure it's very summery, as far as meals go, but I didn't have to turn on the oven so it's a win. 

Stress, a Legacy

It was early last July that I posted about stress dreams, and my year of band boosters board membership was just beginning. In summary, it went like this: marching season, volleyball/basketball season, quick trip to Orlando, holidays, then Senior year/Spring semester/concert season, club volleyball season, then 2 graduations, 2 weeks of Covid (concurrently!), a 4-day work trip to south FL, and an immediate turn-around to our family vacation in north FL, including my sister's wedding! 

Is that a lot? 

I am joking, of course: That is A Lot. Realizing it has made me feel a little better that I've gained a few pounds. Who cares, but evidently I've been in a stressed mode for a long time now and my body thought it had best hold on to its energy reserves just in case of famine. I'm okay with it. And this is not a post about a health kick, although I would like to tackle that, too, somewhat. (I'd also like to let it go forever and not care, but I'm not there yet.)

It's a family trait; the women in my family tree all seem to have similar brains when it comes to overwhelm, to-dos and how those make us feel. Hosting a party? We freak out a little bit, as we're planning and cleaning and getting ready. Going on a trip? It's an Ordeal, until it's a relief that we did it. Even just an invitation to go out, for me, feels like an ordeal until after, when I'm so happy I did it -- I always catch myself complaining about it until I'm there, and it's so fun, and I'm reminded. Wouldn't we love to be the kind of women who just have an easy, breezy attitude about life! But we are not wired that way. 

Frequently, I notice that when I talk to my parents or my sister on the phone, it's a list of alllll the things I'm doing, or have done; a report on the state of the calendar, often with a dose of "and I don't know how it's all going to get done" thrown in. I don't like that. (Not to mention here on the blog!) I wish I could tell stories of our comings and goings with more emphasis on how much fun we had; what the decor looked like; what friends we saw. Maybe I do include those details, I don't know for sure, but I'd like to try to do it better.

I don't know the solution, but I do know what I want to try. More prayer and meditation and gratitude -- I already do those things, but they're the first to go when there are too many events on the schedule, along with workouts. More (and this sounds silly, but) before-bed baths, and naps! Self-care is a good thing, and a bath is so calming! Less marching band, haha -- that one has taken care of itself, although we will have a few college marching band things to attend, I'm sure. But let me keep those in perspective and look at them as FUN instead of something I have to capital-W-worry about. 

I'm looking ahead at Alex's college orientation next week (2 days in the adorable town of Athens, fun!), and then move-in and drop-off a month later. So maybe I'll try to handle those 2 things differently than this entire past year that I worried/panicked/whimpered my way through. I wonder if I can make the mental change? It's gonna take a real effort.

In the meantime, I am cooking a little bit! A few things on this week's menu plan:

• Spicy Garlic Lime Chicken: I made this once when the kids were at summer camp and Shawn and I liked it. Instead of Cayenne pepper, though, since they're here, I'm going to sub smoked paprika and hope it goes over equally well. And I'm going to roast some potatoes to serve with it. 
• Mexican Rice: Yum, with crumbled Fritos on top!
• One-Pot Kielbasa Pasta: Turned out amazing; instead of diced tomatoes, which I inexplicably did not have in the pantry, I used up the zucchini, broccoli, and red bell pepper I had in the fridge. Really, really good. 
• For the 4th of July, I made this yummy Spicy corn dip! You should try it, especially if you like jalepenos. It's great with tortilla chips and also Wheat Thins!

Friday Five: Health, books, friends, and (2) kids

1. Health update: I finally got a negative Covid test this past Tuesday, thank goodness! Took forever... and I punished myself, I guess, by continuing to test so many times, hoping. But anyway, I'm so glad that's over. I still feel some lingering effects, like a persistent need to clear my throat a little, and by the end of the day, I get a little stuffy nose. For those general two weeks, I was having to allow myself some afternoon naps -- I got so tired! Made me even more grateful for WFH, not that they would have allowed me to the office with Covid. Both the nose thing and the fatigue seem to be getting better now. (I would still like to allow myself naps, however!) I never lost taste/smell, thank the heavens above.

2. I got new books! One afternoon last week, while both kids were at a graduation party from 2 until 8, I took my solo trip to Barnes & Noble. It was so fun. I came back with a copy of The Borgia Confessions, which I hope will be good. It's been a good while since I've read a 15th-century Catholic-church-scandal-drama, lol. From now until the beach trip, I downloaded from the e-library an Emma Donohue novel, The Pull of the Stars, set during the time of the 1918 flu epidemic. Appropriate! So far I love it.

3. For my birthday we had a double-date! We never do a ton of double-date-nights with friends, well... because we don't feel like we HAVE that many couple-friends, really. Or schedules don't line up. (People who have kids, y'know?) But for my birthday, I decided that's what I wanted to do. We made plans with Allegra, my best band-mom buddy, and her husband, and had a lovely, lovely time! A couple of peach bellinis helped, to be sure, but even without those I think we would have enjoyed it. (I only felt slightly bad that I chose to go out without the kids for my birthday. Then I stopped that thought; sometimes you have to allow yourself a wish granted. I deserved it.) Last night, we met up with the family of Alex's future UGA roommate for pizza. It was also fun, and they said they'd like to get together a few more times before the boys head to school. A little as if they're interviewing us repeatedly, Shawn pointed out, but I still want to. ;) So yay!

4. Alex is enjoying some downtime after a very full, very non-stop senior year. I'm glad for him. He deserves to rest and relax; he's reading for pleasure, gaming, sleeping really late. I even think he's been bored some of these afternoons. (Good!) This week, though, he had his very first job interview. Fingers crossed, because I can't have him bored all summer, and a little spending money will be nice for him to have. Yesterday he and I went to lunch at Panda Express, one of his favorites. I'm trying not to think about the finite number of days we have left with him at home....

5. Kate is away at WinShape. In every photo we've seen, she seems utterly happy, no surprise. But I woke up in the night thinking, among many other things for over an hour, about how she's cut off from her 8th grade friends this week (phones aren't allowed), and the minute she gets back we'll be going away again, to the beach. I guess July will require some social events planned for her. I want her to keep those friends close.  

Hooray for Fridays! We have Alex's senior piano recital tonight, and maybe tomorrow we'll see a movie (and maybe do some dorm shopping? At least that's one thing I'd like to do...). 

Things I'm Excited to Buy

First, though: Graduations!

Last Tuesday:

And last Thursday:

 

We did it! Both kids decorated with Honors, making us so very proud.
I also got Covid. I don't want to talk about it. 

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I have some things on my summer wish list right now; want to talk about them? 

1. A new wall calendar! Our very last St. Joe's school calendar ends in June -- it has been a constant companion on our fridge these last 13 years (!), handy because it already had half of the important dates printed on it. I'm happy because 2022 calendars should be on sale, probably, and I can finally choose a pretty one. (The St. Joe's calendar, while handy, was not pretty in any way.) 

2. A beach-read paperback! I just started The Midnight Library on my Kindle, and I can tell I'm going to like it; however, I will probably finish it before our vacation at the end of this month, and besides, I am not a fan of bringing my Kindle Fire to the beach. Stupid glare. I could go back to using my original Kindle, I guess, with its paperwhite screen... maybe I will dig that thing out and try to charge it and see what happens. But still: A good paperback is the ticket. I have no idea what I want so I might allow myself a fun trip to Barnes & Noble to browse -- one of my very favorite things in the world is to browse a bookstore and leave with something new!

3. Feta cheese. This is silly and small, but I keep seeing "summer salad" recipes online that use orzo and feta (and veggies, of course). I bought the orzo this past weekend but I forgot the feta. The salads seem so delicious and refreshing (just please: no mint) and I need some new lunch inspiration. 

4. New athletic shoes. I've been wearing Asics Women's Gel Venture the last several years in a variety of colors, and I like them, but I'm also kinda ready for something new. I'm trying to be good about buying athletic shoes frequently, because that's one thing my doctor told me about both back pain and foot pain: Wear good shoes. Old-lady shoes. Supportive shoes. So, fine, I'm an old lady. At some event I was at recently, two women were talking about these Hoka One One (?) shoes that seem to be trending; I never know what's on-trend so I was glad for a little insight. I would rather not spend $150/pair, but sometimes it's worth it.

5. All the dorm things! Yesterday Alex secured a dorm room for himself and his roommate, and I've been reading the packing lists and looking at the pictures and trying to start thinking about buying all of that stuff. It's so hard! For one thing, you just don't know exactly what the kid will want, maybe not until they get there and start living there. I guess I should stop right there and just be okay with waiting -- there is such a thing as Amazon Prime, after all. If he gets there and decides he needs XYZ storage cabinet, we can order it and have it to him in 2 days. Also, it's hard having a boy who claims he doesn't really care about rugs or full-length mirrors or comforter designs, when I myself would like his room to end up looking like something the Property Brothers designed -- subtle, yet neat and sensical. Ha! I guess I will hope that he'll develop a Personal Style as he gets older, and until then, a bed with a pillow is truly all he needs (and all there's room for! it's like decorating a Tiny House)!

Next Two Weeks: This Is It!

I joke a lot about Not Planning This Very Well, when my friends marvel that I've got both a graduating high school senior and graduating 8th grader this year. I really did count wrong: When we got pregnant with Kate, I looked at the age Alex would be when she was born (3), and thought, "oh, perfect! He'll be a high school senior when she's a freshman! He can show her the ropes!" I forgot to notice the months, and the schoolyear cutoff month, and all that. Whoopsie. Not that there was anything to be done about it, but it didn't cross my mind again until, oh, a few years ago when Alex actually started high school. "Waiiiit a sec," I realized. "He'll graduate when... oh. Shoot." Haha. 

So anyway, the next two weeks are Pret.ty. Big. for our family. First it's the last week of school... Alex has already been Senioritis-ing his way through this week, since his AP exams are taken, and all the band concerts are finally done. He has his yearbook, his cap and gown (needs ironing asap), the announcements have been sent, and we're mentally moved on to August and his move-in at UGA. (Did I tell you he chose a roommate? He chose a roommate; a kid from band. They're not best of friends, but I think they'll do fine together. It'll be nice to start with someone familiar, maybe. Good family. I'm relieved.)

Kate's teachers are still making them work for it, with a few last projects (one final "hey Mom this is due tomorrow" moment yesterday, Thank You So Much Dear Teachers) and academic days. But the mood is set, we're getting pumped about the 8th Grade Last Day festivities at St. Joe's, and then Hoya Lights at the high school, a night of fireworks and baby pictures that's designed to make moms cry -- again, Thanks So Much, but I really didn't need any assistance there.

This morning I was gathering school-years pictures of Kate for a poster I'm supposed to make for her. It was so fun. And also, of course, heart-squeezing, as I wondered if I've really enjoyed all of these years as much as I should have. Gulp. Probably best not to ponder. But I did enjoy them didn't I?.... I know I tried. I hope this blog shows evidence of me trying. There were some hard years, juggling everything, especially when my work situation made me tense and unhappy. But I enjoyed the Drama club chaperoning for both kids. I enjoyed them having friends over. I enjoyed Kate being funny and little and crazy. I enjoyed the heck out of being a Band Mom for Alex, as you well know. Many more things (I discovered the blog archives this morning and yes, there were happy times. <3)... And I'm SO, SO grateful that God made it possible for me to have a little more flexibility, here at the end of both things, so I can manage it all right now. To wit:

Sunday: Baccalaureate for Alex (which he had never heard of and I had to define for him)

Wednesday next week: Candlelighting Mass at St. Joe's and then Kate's last Vball practice with her class

Thursday: Hoya Lights at the football stadium

Friday: Carpool shenanigans, 8th Grade Vs. Teachers Volleyball Game, picnic, pool party, and Alex's Last Day in High School (typing this just made my throat tight) - I took the day off work

Saturday 21st: Two graduation parties for Alex's friends (overlapping), and Kate's class dance party

Monday 23rd: Grandparents arrive!

Tuesday 24th: Kate's graduation 

Thursday 26th: Alex's graduation

Friday 27th: Alex's graduation party at home (small, family)

I declare that Monday the 30th, Memorial Day, will be a day of napping.

There's Another Plan

Well, it didn't go the way she wanted. 

When she came out of the gym, her eyes were wet but almost convincingly bright, she was trying so hard to keep her emotions in check. The coach spoke to each girl individually, I guess, because she told Kate if she'd had 16 spots on the team instead of 12, there would have been room for her. Told her to improve her speed getting to the ball, and be louder. Kate said she didn't understand how girls who didn't perform as well as she did, got a spot at the callbacks. (Boy, did that one resonate with  me -- I watched SO many theatre auditions go that same way, where the girls who could only kind-of sing got the big roles and I was always, always relegated to the chorus even when I knew my voice was clearer, more on-pitch. Maybe not as loud, but definitely prettier. Sorry not sorry, it was true.)

Anyway, it's a crappy lesson to have to learn, but I guess we all have to learn it somehow. You can't always get what you want. 

I'm proud of her for trying, for fighting her nerves and going for it, and for coming out the other side okay, despite the negative outcome. I talked to her (texted her) about going back next year -- the coach encouraged her to -- and how that would show character and persistence. And I bet a lot of the girls who made it this year were rising sophomores who didn't make it last year but came back. It isn't like marching band, where they can take basically an unlimited number of people -- there are only so many spots. And she asked, "How can I get better over the summer?" which makes me the most proud. The club she played with this spring offers some summer day camps which she can go to, and I bet they offer other things throughout the fall, too. And of course there's next spring's club season.

She's most disappointed, I think, because she had set her heart on this being her "identity" in high school. And that's a really big thing to have to let go of, for now. She probably doesn't even realize that's what hurts. But God's got another plan for her and we'll just have to wait to find out what that is.

Tough thing to parent a kid through, that's for sure. Do not recommend, zero stars. 

Tryouts

High school volleyball tryouts are this week -- last night and again tonight. Our KT baby is 1) old enough for high school (!) and 2) very, very eager to play on the Hoyas' team. Last night went well, despite her nerves. I reminisced about feeling nervous for an audition/tryout. (She had tried to accuse me of not knowing how it feels. Ha!! Hahahaha!) My entire teenage life was about auditions/tryouts! Every musical I ever wanted a role in, and I think there were at least 11 of those, and every single high school year (except the year I skipped) cheerleading. I remember, indeed. The butterflies. The dread. The clammy hands. The having-to-go-to-the-bathroom so many times. I did not envy her last night, you can be sure. 

But she was brave and actually thought it went really well. (Naturally, parents were barred from watching.) The coach had a style she was familiar with, the drills they did were nothing she'd not seen before, and she knows what she needs to show them tonight. 

Doesn't make ME less nervous for her, though! There are 47 girls trying out for about 26 spots on the team. 

Various friends from club volleyball and other places have had their tryouts, as well. Some of the other schools in the area have a 9th grade team in addition to JV and Varsity. Not ours. I wish we did. 

I'm at work today of course, but every time I stop for a minute, I remember what's coming at 6:00 pm and I get a little shiver of butterflies. It's so big. A potentially defining moment, whether she makes it or not, I guess. She should know by the end of the evening. 

Menu Planning in May!

I guess I gave up cooking in about mid-March, due to all the practices and Cornhole and Board meeting circumstances every night of the week except Thursdays. It has made me feel off-kilter, for sure, but was also a relief to just let it go. We've fared okay. One of Kate's favorite busy-weeknight, pre-volleyball practice go-to meals was frozen potstickers. Any brand, any variety will do. They take about 10 minutes in a skillet to cook up and have a nice crispy edge, and she ate them at least once a week. I know Alex and Shawn have had plenty of Spaghetti-Ohs dinners. Once in a while I've made recipes thinking they would last the week and provide some easy leftovers meals... and then no one ends up eating them but me. Things like red beans and rice in the crockpot, a sausage/pasta baked casserole, and BBQ meatballs.

But THIS WEEK we are without any volleyball or drum/band practices on Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday! So I actually had to think a little bit when making a grocery list.

I don't think it's necessary to tell you everything we're eating this week, because it's all my usuals, nothing new -- first I have to see if I remember how to cook, lol. Maybe next week, or better yet, after school ends for the year, I'll venture into trying new recipes again. 

Meanwhile, I hung my just-delivered fundraiser hanging baskets yesterday -- pretty pink-flowered "million bells" -- and set out my 2 tomato plants, so that makes me want to clean up the rest of the planters. I do love puttering around in the garden! We also have some pretty red house finches making a nest on top of one of the columns on our front porch. Interestingly, there seem to be three of them building the nest -- a modern bird family, I guess! 

Would be nice to have a spring meal or two outside among the fresh flowers and birdies before it gets too hot. Also trying to decide if I can manage to host a graduation party for the graduate; if I do, that would likely be in the backyard as well. We'll see. No time to muse about it, my job tasks-list is huge today. But happy Monday and happy new month. I think if I can get through May, ... well, I was going to say "things will calm down," but that may not actually be the case. I will work on ENJOYMENT of each day no matter how busy, instead of "getting through." Remind me. 

Mid-April Rundown: Some book recs, sunrise/sunset moments, etc.!

Here it is, mid-April, and I haven't posted anything at all. What will solve it better than bulleted updates? Nothing, I think.

• I haven't bought any dresses for me -- well, except one, the Bridesmaid/matron dress for Jilly's wedding in June. Kate and I are the attendants and we bought matching-color dresses in very different styles. I had a dream last night that I tried mine on and it fit perfectly in the waist/bodice, which I truly hope is what will happen. My fear is that I ordered one size too small and it will be too late to fix it. Panic panic panic. I'm working very hard to drink 75 ounces of water every day and am doing dreaded "core strengthening work" just to make double-sure I've done my best to fit into it. (I did measure myself before ordering but I don't trust those size charts.) ....Anyway, I still need something to wear to each kid's graduation. I might try to hit Kohl's this afternoon since the Easter dress racks should be on sale... 
• Kate is well-stocked with three dresses for the season (so far). She did have a hard day of trying on a lot of things and nothing really fitting right or available in her size. Don't you HATE shopping trips like that? I really felt bad for her; it's such a quick way to a bad mood. 
• I just finished a great book, The Burgess Boys, by Elizabeth Strout. I did love Olive Kitteridge, and even moreso, Olive, Again, and her writing style has endeared her to me, although I did NOT love Lucy Barton. Still, I highly recommend The BB. Before that, I read one called The Giver of Stars, by Jojo Moyes. Either I wasn't paying attention or she didn't link the name of the book to the story, but at any rate it was an enjoyable historical fiction about a small mining town in Kentucky during the WPA era, and the Packhorse Librarians who delivered books to the rural poor. Two thumbs up, would also recommend this one, if you think it's your thing. 
• Easter was a lovely day yesterday and I had the thought, what if it's our last Easter with Alex home? Maybe he won't want to come home for the weekend next year! Sob, sob.
• Which brings me to the official news: He has committed to UGA and we put down the big deposit! Go Dawgs! (Never thought I would be a UGA devotee! Have always been kind-of annoyed at the stupid spelling of "Dawgs" when the official mascot is, in fact, the Georgia Bulldogs. But here we are, and I'm actually really excited to wear a lot of red and black in the near future.) Now I have the next milestone tasks swirling around my head. I joined a FB Group for Parents of the Class of '26 and (it may have been a mistake, because) all the talk is about finding a roommate and how do we use this website or that, and "did your kid get this letter in his portal account?" and it's making me crazy. My feeling is the kids need to do this stuff their dang selves if they're about to go away to college! I'm hoping Alex will soon have time to start working on those things, and on his marching band audition video (he's already working on it -- due May 1). 
• No sooner did we finalize UGA than the University of North Florida sent their admittance letter and a $16,000 Presidential something-or-other scholarship. Which is lovely. Still wouldn't cover the cost of out-of-state tuition, and we're hoping for more from the state of GA. But it was somewhat confusing for him to get that letter; he said, "It just feels wrong to turn down that kind of money." And I agree! 
• I am WAY behind in my gardening! I know you're supposed to wait, anyway, until after Tax Day or Easter, and those just passed... but my backyard feels sad. No time to do it this weekend, either - we have a volleyball tournament. Tra-la! I guess it will get planted sometime....
• Kate's been really sad about leaving her school. She and her friends are listening to sad songs, crying together over old pictures (I assume) late into the night. This has happened twice now. It's alarming when we hear her just sobbing, but we asked her about it and were told to kindly leave her ALONE, she's just sad. I get it. I remember some similar crying in my own life, after 6th grade and after the particularly fun community theater shows ended. Endings in life are hard, aren't they? Especially when you're young. 

Keeping the diary updated, that's all I can muster! ;)

Retirement Age

Shawn and I just attended the retirement lunch for one of his coworkers, Cathy, who was once one of my coworkers. I knew her before I knew Shawn, actually. She seemed "older" at that time, but she was probably around my current age, maybe a few years younger. HA! (She threw us a little co-ed wedding shower, actually, at Manuel's in our old neighborhood. Remember, honey?) He and I have 15 & 20 years to go,  respectively, but it's weird to think that we're at the age now where we're learning how to give good retirement parties. Not bachelorette parties or wedding showers, or even good kid birthday parties: retirement parties. 

It was odd to go out to lunch at all, to be honest. I go out once a week-ish, with my current favorite cowrker, but I remember the days when going out to lunch was a nearly-every-day thing. Sometimes, a group of us (including this friend who's retiring) went to our favorite restaurant twice in the same week. Frequently. Oh, Sundown Tacos, how I miss you. Paying for a full lunch twice in one week is pretty unfathomable to me now. Particularly since I work from home, but even if I didn't... I just can't see allowing myself to spend money like that, all willy-nilly! TWICE?! That's just crazy talk.

Anyway, we're old, get off my lawn, the end.

Well, not really the end, I guess: this WEEK will never end. It's only THURSDAY gahhhhhhhh. And directly following this week is a super-long weekend of full days with both band and volleyball. TIME OF OUR LIVES, TIME OF OUR LIVES, I keep telling myself, and there IS an element of fun energy to it, that if you can put blinders to the logistics, is truly THE BEST. Last weekend, for example: volleyball games were won! Kate was playing well and happy! Volleyball moms are sweet and fun to hang out with! Walking to lunch on a gorgeous 70-degree day! Dinner with (other) friends! Then an AMAZING concert at a beautiful concert hall, with Alex playing the star-highlighted clarinet part! I mean, my heart could not have been more full. I just had to not think about 1) handling all the things on the calendar at once and 2) DRIVING all over creation. 

It's really true what I was told as a young mother, though, crying over having to work full-time and put my kids in daycare: They actually need you MORE when they're older. It was so hard for me to fathom that then, but now I see it. While our teens don't necessarily want us around them all the time, they need us more, a) to drive them when they aren't old enough yet, and b) just to be the assuring support behind their big activities. To BE THERE. Presence. It lays that foundation for them, and lets them be themselves and do their things and become who they're meant to become. 

So thanks, Marybeth, for that sound advice so long ago. 

My sugar detox went fairly well, if you consider having one small piece of dark chocolate at the end of day 2, and one peanut butter energy ball w/chocolate chips during day 3, a success. And I do. It's much better than a day with 2 quick cookies, then an energy ball, then a piece of dark chocolate, and maybe one more cookie a little later. I am my father's daughter. I think even a 3-day fast from sugar was difficult, though (clearly). Maybe I should do one day off, one day on. Still thinking on it.

I'm also trying to eat more salads as meals. It's just that it's kind-of a pain to make them. But worth it, really, and maybe with summer almost here, I'll feel more like salads. Maybe I'll try new vegetables (radishes? endive? more cabbage?) and allow a little bit of good cheese (FETA, droooool). Make some yummy vinaigrettes. Does it sound like I'm trying to convince myself? Because I am.

Hey guess what else? It's time for me to buy dresses for GRADUATIONS. My own kids' graduations, not just "the season of." This whoooooole post is connected now -- getting old... eating salads... fitting into new, pretty dresses, graduating kids!

Sugar Detox

"Sugar Detox" is written is big letters across today, tomorrow and Friday on my planner. After yesterday, I need one. Well, I have needed one much longer than that, but yesterday was just the final straw in feeling discouraged with myself about how much sugar I can consume in a day. It's Phil's fault. 

My coworker, Phil, from the UK, surprised me by being in my office yesterday when I got to work! I am still trying to only go to the office one or two days a week -- in fact, this week, my boss told employees that with the cost of gas rising so much, we are all welcome to work from home again as much as we like (he's so good about this stuff since Covid) -- and Tuesday is my day. I don't work with Phil on a daily basis anymore, so I had no idea about his travel schedule. What fun to see a friendly face from so far away when I arrived! 

Phil always brings treats from Great Britain. Yesterday they included some good shortbread, which I cannot resist. But I had already treated myself to a Pop Tart, because I needed an "on the go" breakfast! And then he held out the tin of shortbread (it's a tin because it's British), instead of quietly just placing his gift in the break room. What else could I have done but take one as he stood there? No polite way out of that, and because shortbread is SO delicious I found another small piece of it later in the day after he DID take it to the break room. I felt called after that, to learn how to make shortbread at home. Buttery and sugary and that crumbly TEXTURE?! Heaven help me. But I also kept hearing the word "diabetes" in my head, Wilford Brimley style, and therefore: Sugar Detox. 

Over the past weekend I also made some treats, myself, at home. I was thinking of Toll House original chocolate chip cookies, but those take some time and dirty so many dishes. So I went with a 3-ingredient recipe for "Super Rich Cookie Bars" instead (it's 1.33 cups of graham cracker crumbs, a can of condensed milk, and 1.5 cups of chocolate chips, bake at 350 for 30 minutes). And I've eaten at least 4 of them. You have to cut them small because they're so rich, so it seems like a reasonably tiny treat... until you eat 4. ANYWAY. I also made "protein energy balls," which have healthy old fashioned oats and coconut and peanut butter in them, but are really a no-bake cookie (also chocolate chips and honey, lol). 

And in general I like something sweet after a meal. A square of dark chocolate or some dried cranberries. 

It's just too much sugar. So the rest of this week I am going to be drinking lots of water, and will attempt to have sugar-free gum at the ready after meals. I'm not aiming to never eat sugar again, just need to put a hard stop to it for a bit. Clear my cache, so to speak. (Clear my cookies is more like it!) I sincerely wish I could "lose my taste" for sweet things in 3 days, but we all know that isn't gonna happen. Wish me luck.

College Nostalgia and Impressions After a Weekend at UGA

It's really interesting, I think, that a person's college experience can shape so much of who they become. I really believe that. For myself, I truly found myself as a chorister/musician; I found a group of friends that I still see, however infrequently, to this day; and I got an internship my senior year which led to a full-time job which is where I met Shawn. So it's a monumental thing, and I guess it's why I've been so thinky (and maybe naggy) about it for Alex. It's important! It's the launching pad for your life trajectory. 

Our weekend in Athens was excellent, starting with a perfectly-timed campus tour. Once he got the acceptance letter, I quickly got online and lo and behold, there was an available tour the day we were planning to arrive for All-State. His rehearsal didn't start until 6:45, and the tour was at 2:30. Divine intervention. I signed us up. It was neat when the enthusiastic guide started his welcome speech with, "I hear we have some new admits here today..." and knowing he meant my kid. 

We liked the campus and I was glad it wasn't as overwhelming/large as I'd imagined it to be. Very manageable. We lucked out with a beautiful spring day. (Short-sleeves and I wish I had worn open-toed shoes, it was that warm. God bless Georgia sometimes.) Nothing like a college campus when the weather's good, fall or spring! We took pictures in all the iconic spots, bought Alex an official 2022 National Champions (football, in case you aren't a college football fan) t-shirt in the bookstore, and ate some dinner in the student center. I want to remember this, also: One of his favorite things about the student center was a gaming room. Ha! We walked past it several times and saw kids hanging out in there; I think it was eye-opening, that they had their own place, right there in the middle of everything. 

I tried not to explain things so much that I annoyed him, but it was fun to talk to him about getting around campus, scheduling classes, best places to study (for me it was a Theology library; at UGA it's apparently the Law Library), RAs, roommates, and free food events. ;) He was asking good questions. I told him college is really the only time in your life when everything/anything is available to you. You're on your own, don't have to ask permission (in most cases), and you can just sample things you're curious about. 

I remember, for instance, renting a tent/sleeping bag from the rec center at Emory and going on a camping weekend (tour guides love to tell you this is possible, at every campus). We would go to the A/V library on Friday nights when we lived on campus, to watch a movie for FREE. I volunteered/ushered at the campus theater. I had interesting little jobs at a residence hall desk and later at the same A/V library. You could go to basketball games for FREE. (I mean, free with your tuition, lol.) Workout at a gym for FREE -- I'd never done that before. Join an intramural softball team just for fun. Go hear a lecture by a random author. I planned pizza parties for after Sunday night Mass. Music students knew that we could get very cheap tickets to the Atlanta Symphony, and we had to, for credit in our classes; I never have gone to the symphony as much as I did while in college. There's just SO MUCH available. (And we didn't even have a football team, much less a championship one!)  

So, the real reason we were there was the All-State band concert that Alex auditioned for and made. During the rehearsals on Friday, I was able to see one of my college besties and his family, who were there for their daughter's All-State concert as well. So that made me even MORE nostalgic.  

Sadly, we were disappointed with news from Ga Tech while there -- we held our breath and looked together at the expected email, and... he was not admitted. But, as my sister Jill pointed out, what better place to receive that news? We were having fun at UGA, who needs Tech?! I think that made it easier for Alex. For sure makes the decision process easier! 

I don't know that he feels CERTAIN about it, in the way that you just KNOW about some things; but he was definitely in a state of, "I could be happy here." And you know that makes me happy. :)