Reminders

Print out the school's PDF and highlight books I think AJ will like, on his reading level, so that he will stop saying he "can't find" any Accelerated Reader books in the library, and CHECK OUT A BOOK, for the love.

Work with AJ on his King Penguin shoe-box diorama (kill me), due Wednesdsay.

Ask daycare for a list of KT's classmates; address invitations for her birthday party.

Bring various items to school on various days, for various volunteer and service projects. (So. many. different. projects! I mostly hate Catholic Schools' Week.)

Buy KT some more dresses because she is refusing all pants and t-shirts lately (she wants to "be pretty, Mommy"). I don't have the energy to fight with her on this and I don't mind buying them.

Buy AJ some new uniform sweatpants because they have now become high-waters (regular uniform pants took that road 3 months ago). Thank God that he's growing, and continue praying for it.

Don't skip my running at lunchtime, at least THREE TIMES THIS WEEK, SELF.

Go to the makeup store to see if they have something miraculous for the horrifying depressing dark circles that have recently appeared under my eyes. At 37.5, I guess I'm not surprised.

Figure out what dish to take to the annual Super Bowl party next Sunday. Buffalo dip (fun)?? Or veggies (smart/sad trumpet)?

Also take an adult beverage to that party.

Smile.

Clogged and Clammed Up, but Excited...

Ear status: Still frakking clogged.


No, I am not kidding. The doctor gave me amoxicillin, the weakest of the antibiotics, so I hear (HA), and so far I have experienced zero relief. She said it might take up to 3 weeks. Once in a while if I perform the Valsalva Maneuver (which I did not know had a crazy name! until last week), I can get a nice crackle and pop on the right side, and hear a little better out of that one for 30 minutes. But it doesn't last and isn't worth the possibility of blowing brains out my eyes when I do it, so I don't, very often.

Aren't I lovely? I'm really over this.
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We have exciting news in our family -- BIL and SIL are having a baby! They just announced it officially last night, but we have secretly known for a few weeks and been saying some prayers since they miscarried a few years back. I actually didn't think they would try again, but they did, and she's now at 12 weeks. I'm going to be an AUNT! I thought maybe I never would, officially, although I do have some sweet little cousins-once-removed who have called me Auntie Lee-Lee in the past.

We hung up the phone last night with them, and DH said, "She sounded nervous." OH, do I ever remember that feeling, when you're first starting to tell people! It's SUCH a secret, and if it's your first baby, you've never told anyone a secret like this before. And it's personal besides, letting everyone including your in-laws know what you've been DOING! Shock! So it's uncomfortable in so many ways. I don't blame her for feeling nervous.

Besides all that, SIL never really talks to us on the phone - the brothers talk, but not us girls so much. Maybe I'll have to remedy that and become more attentive to her as she begins to experience motherhood. I've wanted to be close to this SIL -- she doesn't have a sister of her own, only brothers -- but I'm so NOT a phone person anymore, and we don't live in the same city, and she's not really (from what I can tell) an email person -- so that all makes it hard.

We do share quite a bit in common. Both like to read, and cook, both go to sleep early (her, intentionally, me, by accident most nights), both try to workout regularly (she has more success than I do), both quiet, for the most part. I like her very much and I know I'm lucky in that.

But even last night, I felt like my brain clammed up and I didn't quite know what to say. I kept saying, "That is so great, we are so happy for you...." and I truly meant those things, but I couldn't think what else you're supposed to offer at this stage. Is that weird? I didn't want to say the WRONG thing, and of course I asked her how she'd been feeling and her due date, but... isn't that it, at this point? Oh, right, and "are you going to find out if it's a boy or a girl?" I think they volunteered that info (they are). I don't know. I hope I haven't forgotten everything about being pregnant, and that I can think of all the right things to say if she asks me for any advice (which I hope she does). I feel like I HAVE forgotten. (Thank God, right?) I'm going to email her right now and hopefully sound sincere in offering whatever I can do.

An Aunt! And DH an UNCLE!!

I can't hear you

My ears are stuffed with cotton. They have been for 3 days now, so I'm going to the doctor today. I expect she'll pull a Mac truck out of the left side. Last night when I lay down with Kate, my head/left ear was on her fluffy fleece blanket, which obviously muffles sound. When I lifted my head up after about 10 minutes, there was no change in the muffled-ness of my hearing on that side. No change! Sigh. This morning when I woke up it felt like something was sloshing around in that one (braaaaaains?????) but it has since stopped.

I just want to apologize IF I AM YELLING. Because seriously, I cannot hear a damn thing.

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This week I have arrived at the chapter in my Organizational/Productivity book (yes, still reading it), where you zero out your Inbox. I am excited and nervous. I am terrible about keeping every email I get. And I have 4 different Inboxes, total, so that's a lot of useless storage. Has anyone ever done this? I am planning to say, "I'm sorry, all my old emails got deleted, you'll need to resend" if I get into any sort of email-needing-situation.  

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Yesterday I spent a good portion of my lunch hour more time than I should have reading the articles and looking at the pictures NPR posted for their special report, Russia By Rail. I've never been that interested in Russia, its language or its culture, but this report (I heard it on the radio first) was excellent. I feel like I understand the cultural climate there better, and I was surprised how well I can relate to the people's mindset, as reported in this article, anyway. It talks about how the younger generations there (30s, 40s) want to see change in Russia's government and economy, but they're not really ready to fight for that change, or take drastic measure themselves. They'd rather kind-of wait and see what happens. And this is exactly how I have felt about my husbands' and my jobs. Both of us would probably like to sweep everything away and start over in different careers, doing something we love, but neither of us is at all willing to get crazy, which is what it would require to facilitate that kind of big change. So we just kind-of wait. See what happens.

I think I like the Russians.

I can't imagine wearing the fur coats all the damn time, though like the folks in Siberia and Vladivostok (love that word and how it feels to say it!). I'm wearing a turtleneck today and it's already making me a little claustrophobic at 8:04 a.m.

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When KT is bored with something, she says, "bored out." I love this phrase and think all of us should start saying it. "I'm bored out, y'all." No idea where she got that but it's perfect.

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I read on Dr. Google that if you think your child has an ear infection, you should make sure they get plenty of rest and don't exert too much. Naturally that means I haven't run yet this week. Haven't run since last Thursday, in fact. I am super-bummed about it, but I know that in the C25K program, they allow for repeating weeks. Life happens. I think I'd rather get well first, run 6 minutes straight later. I am not quitting.

Twelve-fifteen on the treadmill

It's almost time for me to head downstairs to the treadmill. On Tuesday I did my Couch-to-5K run and a miracle occurred: I ran for five minutes without stopping! I should say, "jogged," because I'm keeping the pace NICE AND SLOW, but people, this is -- truly -- a brief miracle. Five minutes!

I just wanted to TRY the program. I wasn't convinced I could actually do it. And I'm only halfway there, I guess there's still no guarantee I will finish it. But all of a sudden I realized: this form of exercise which I have heretofore abhorred and decried (yes, THAT dramatic), is the only kind of exercise that's given me a feeling of accomplishment, in great measure. When I did the 30-Day Shred I was proud for slogging through it; glad when I could get through Level Three (or heck, even Level One's cardio segments were a killer), but I definitely didn't feel like I wanted to do it any FURTHER. It's just punishment. Miserable. And she yells at you. And thus, after about 25 days or so, I basically stopped.

Plain-old walking, my typical exercise of choice, is perfectly fine, but utterly devoid of the sense of achievement.

But with this, somehow I feel each success -- even with all the yucky sweating and the bad music that the Christian Alternative C25K podcaster-guy chooses (horrible! I really need to download something else) -- and it altogether encourages me. Endorphins for the win! It makes me excited to try again, and see how far I can get. Can I do six minutes? I think maybe by next week I CAN.

I don't know who I am anymore! *back of hand to forehead, wilts to nearby chaise lounge*

(I hope it lasts.)

Grumpy pants (little things)

I have the blahs today. Everyone at my office is annoying, and the work I do is stupid and not inspiring (today), and the people in charge are horrible. In fact today was described to us as a special holiday, office closed... but then the people in charge changed their minds. So I feel like I shouldn't have to be here but I AM.

My throat has been sore basically since Christmas. I don't have other symptoms so I don't feel it's necessary to go to the doctor. But I'm tired of having a sore throat.

The weather's dreary, and I feel fat and unsuccessful at losing a single pound, even though I limited myself to ONE bowl of chili during yesterday's football games when I would have gladly had two, and that doesn't seem fair.

KT fussed at me all morning and cried because of a variety of things, but mostly because she is 3.

I woke up at 3:17 this morning and thought, "Oh, good, I still have 2 hours PLUS left to sleep." But then I couldn't fall back asleep for at least 30 minutes and I just lay there and stewed about how many minutes I was LOSING.

And I have errands to do at my lunch hour, which prevents me from working out at lunchtime, and that pisses me off. I know that a good shot of endorphins would help my mood. I should go for a couple of 10 minute walks, I KNOW, but guess what? I couldn't carry my gym bag (with shoes) this morning because of all the other crap I had to carry. No shoes = no walking because the shoes I did wear are not even very comfortable.

I read yet ANOTHER article about how we should never eat anything processed, ever, because the big farms and commercial food processing plants are EVIL and FILTHY and horrible, and normally I would dismiss reports like that as bullshit, but today I wondered if maybe it isn't true, and I don't WANT to believe any of that so why do the reports keep coming out? (Don't answer.)

I think my mood is actually getting worse as I type, so I'd better sign off. I hate Mondays.

Books for 2012

I want to do more intentional reading this year. I miss my Kindle. I bought The Hunger Games triology in hardback because they were clearly worth having/preserving. Although I finished them in about 3 weeks, that was right before the weekends of Christmas shopping and planning, and then celebrating. I picked up another book during the holidays (21: Bringing Down the House), and it's been good so far but I'm not quite into the thick of it yet. It's in paperback, besides... so, short story long, I haven't been on the Kindle in a long while. Not since Still Alice, I think, which was a great book but many months ago in my life!

So I've been thinking about the books I want to read in 2012. Of course the resolution I didn't write down but did actually think about -- and the one which is likely most important for having a good year -- is to grow closer to God and to nurture my faith. But the task of doing that on my own, just by adding a regular prayer-time to every day...? Probably not very realistic. (Definitely not very realistic.) Then I thought, "HEY, I could read an inspiring BOOK to help accomplish that end! Perfect!" Two birds, one stone, right?

And finally, the third reason is that my dear, darling Book Club has somehow not met for about 4 months now. This is the longest I think we've gone on a break, and yes, our kids are all older and busier now, and we know we'll get together again someday, but I think it's time to send out an email and see what the deal is! And get some book recommendations from that end!

So, here is a list of some books I'd like to read. I'm drawing some of these from the excellent lists I've seen around the blogosphere, like Lag Liv's, and Bessie V's, and Jennifer Fulwiler's! But please, feel free to chime in and suggest others!

The Girl Who Stopped Swimming, Joshilyn Jackson. I have loved her other books and it's wayyyyy past time for me to read this one. The title alone is completely intriguing and it's been in the back of my mind since before it was published.

Sharon Kay Pennman: Here Be Dragons Thank you, RRA and LagLiv! Historical fiction is my absolute favorite and I can't wait to try this author.

Committed, by Elizabeth Gilbert. I think I read Eat, Pray Love in 2011. It was fantastic. I have heard this one's even better.

Love in the Ruins: Walker Percy. This one came from Jennnifer's list of book recommendations from Catholic bloggers, hot off the press!

He Leadeth Me by Walter Ciszek. Jennifer recommends this one a lot and I think it sounds fascinating. Probably for Lent (as she suggests).

Golden Bones by Sichan Siv. The author is married to a high school friend of my Mom's, and this has been on my shelf a while. It's not my usual fare and I will likely need something to separate it from He Leadeth Me, as they're both about wrongfully imprisoned men. Might be a little much for one year but we'll see.

Bossypants, Tina Fey, since everyone else already read it. :)

Maybe something from Jodi Picoult, because it's been a while, and I have liked everything I've read of hers.


What else should I be reading?

2012 Goals

There are a few things on my list this year that I didn't mention. So I don't forget them:

1. Learn how to make real frosting. We made a cake for New Year's Eve and I used Pillsbury's canned chocolate frosting. I'm sorry, Pillsbury, in general I do love you, but I've decided that canned frosting is not worth my $2.49.
2. Have our giant yard sale and clean up the basement.
3. Get my personal business files in order and create The Spreadsheet.
4. Contact a law office and get our wills written.
5. Continue working out and possibly run a 5K. Possibly, I said.
6. Do better with vegetables and my kids. (KT ate - and loved - spinach yesterday though! Cooked spinach!)
7. My photo albums. This will be finished by the end of January, so help me God.
8. Finish replacing all the blinds in our house. (There are a few rooms with old-style, crumbling venetian (metal) blinds, and I hate them.)
9. Paint/redecorate the master bath.
10. Clean all the tile/grout. Three bathrooms, one toothbrush, hands and knees. I haven't done it in a very long time and it shows!!