Intentions

I didn't really mean to stop writing here. But life. You know.

Since we last visited, the WLC has ended! I've posted on its website and in notes with Mom and Jill, that it was successful for me. But for posterity here: 10 lbs lost, 3 inches from my waist and 2 from my hips. And already (it ended on 3/18), after adding back IN a little bread here and there, I can tell when I eat it, from the belly bloat. Now, this was one thing I didn't really want to happen -- I don't want to NEVER be able to eat bread again... but on the other hand, it will likely keep me from eating much bread, and that's a good thing. I'm really hoping to maintain the 10-lb loss until the next challenge starts in May, and that will require some work. I took a break from exercise the first week after, and ate all the things I'd missed... and this week, I have been too puny to exercise. Fever, aches and chills. It's been unpleasant, even though those have been the only symptoms.

Next week is Spring Break. I presume we'll do a little walking around -- we're going to Nashville -- and maybe I can at least stretch, in the hotel room. We'll see about swimming (there's an indoor heated pool); I'm sure the kids would be up for that! And I'll want to enjoy the food in Music City! But THEN, I promise: Back to plan. (-ish.) ;)

Another thing I didn't intend to do: go to Confession the other night at church. I'd been asked to sing at the parish Penance service, and fully intended to leave right after my singing was done. But Kate wanted to come with me to the service (she likes the privilege of sitting in the choir loft when Mom sings), and as people started to line up, she asked, "Aren't you going to Confession?" She had been with her class, the week before. So what could I say?! In the end, I'm glad I did, as usual. It's comforting, after you get over the initial discomfort. I always get tearful. Our pastor is so kind and good, though. I loved having him pray over me, just me, and watching him hold the hands of everyone who came to him, if they wanted him to. I love the compassion of the priests - don't you imagine it's a bit of a burden, hearing all our shame and sinfulness, over and over? I bet it's tiring. And the place was packed. It's heartening to see that many people acknowledge their need for God's mercy and love. To know we're all in this together, we all feel bad about ourselves, and we're all loved and forgiven anyway. Already. (We do have one new-ish priest, however, and he kept this one lady in the chair for at least 15 minutes, I noticed. He was sermonizing the whole time - or so it appeared from a distance. Note to self: Don't go to Fr. Revak's line.)

Chocolate. Amen.

Today I had a craving for chocolate. I have had several great food days in a row, including my delicious lunch today of roasted potatoes and broccoli, some chicken breast, and chicken-sausage (yum!)… but for some reason, I could not stop wanting something sweet. And Lara bars were not going to do. Actually, I ate a square of the Lara bar I’ve had at my desk, Peanut Butter Cookie flavored. It didn’t help.

I’d been to Target to get a birthday card for Susan, and decided, “I’m a grown-up woman with 2 Indulgence points, and by gosh if I want chocolate, I’m going to have some!” So I bought a Ghirardelli dark bar. When I got back to work, I carefully opened the outer box and peeled open that whisper-thin gold foil. Then I glanced at the Nutrition label (habit, you know) – a serving size is 3 squares. I only broke off two – partly for symmetry (who breaks off three squares?) and partly because... if it wasn’t a whole serving, maybe I wouldn’t even count it as a deducted point! Total cheat, I know.

Next, I clicked over and re-read Leo Babauta’s The Art of Tasting Chocolate Mindfully, because I really wanted to enjoy this indulgence, and I love that post. I’ve read it many, many times before. You should too, if you haven't.

Well, what a treat. I snapped the bar. I inhaled deeply before ever going for it. Even the inhale was a treat! (I’ve been doing that a lot, and enjoying it, with the kids’ cookies, cinnamon rolls, etc. during this challenge.) It was the slowest I’ve ever eaten a square of chocolate. The only ‘flavor notes’ I tasted were a hint of marshmallow, and just the deep cocoa, but man, did I enjoy that square. After about 10 minutes I looked up and I hadn’t even eaten ¾ of it – I’d been breaking off small bites. To my surprise, I could barely finish it. I put the 2nd square back in the package. One was plenty, eaten slowly and after nearly 8 weeks without sugar  except from fruits or the occasional birthday dessert.

I’m just amazed. I used to go through 2 or 3 squares at a time at work, and wonder how they disappeared so fast!