....
....
This thought saved me yesterday, and I predict it will save me many more times this season. I am not going to get stressed about Christmas. I am going to only observe gently (LOVE THAT), and not believe everything.
Tuesday, November 29
Remember This:
....
....
This thought saved me yesterday, and I predict it will save me many more times this season. I am not going to get stressed about Christmas. I am going to only observe gently (LOVE THAT), and not believe everything.
Friday, November 18
Confessions and purchases
I think I've mentioned that my Thursday night choir practice has become... less than inspiring... since our director, John, resigned. We've had a substitute and she's very nice and plays the organ beautifully, but, at the risk of sounding like a diva soprano, she's not really teaching us anything. John had chosen music for us before he left, to cover every Sunday through Epiphany including all the Christmas Midnight Mass songs. It's all stuff we have done a million times before, and our rehearsals consist of running through these songs, over and over. I'd go into other details but it's boring and maybe whiny.
Last night, I decided that attending rehearsal is "no longer serving me," to borrow a phrase from the wellness and happiness-movement languages. Hush, you voices that say, "But music ministry is supposed to be about you serving them, not the other way around, Lee." I know. I'll serve on Sunday. I just don't think rehearsal is doing me any good. In fact, it makes me growly and tired. John would always challenge us vocally, to conserve the breath, to aim for the very pinpoint of the pitch, to use dynamics and phrasing to make something beautiful. I miss that. Even WITH that, though, sometimes choir practice was still the same old songs, and I've been in the group for 10-ish years now.
SO, last night I didn't let on to the kids or to Shawn, but I opted out and went shopping, by myself, instead. All year I've been remembering, then forgetting, that my black trouser socks have holes in the toes... or that my Am0ena bras, which I LOVE, are in fact, more than a few years old at this point... or that I've, ahem, gained a pound or two, and guess what, my sweaters don't fit as comfortably as they used to. (BTW, I saw this tip yesterday, for stretching out shrunken clothes. I wonder if it works?)
I went to Kohl's with my handy dandy credit card and their constant promise of percentages off -- everything's always on sale there, every day! -- and I bought stuff FOR ME. Well, first I bought stuff for Shawn -- he needed new basics, too. But then, I spent 30 minutes trying on a VARIETY of bras. I went back and forth from the fitting room, more than twice! Here are all the necessaries I bought: Bra, 4-pack underwear, 6-pack trouser socks, 1 pair of jeans, two sweaters, one tank top, one pair of running shoes (walking)... It was extravagant! At least to me.
Usually when I declare I'm going shopping, a lovely 8-year-old wants to come, and she is not so patient when Mommy wants to try things on for a half-hour. And somehow, we always end up in the Girls 6X-10 area, and by then I don't want to spend more money on me. So this wandering around, all on my own, was so unusual! Freedom! Craziness!
After Kohl's I still had plenty of time, so I popped into Ross next, and found a pair of black ankle boots for $22. Score. THEN, on a high, I took myself to Books-A-Million and JUST BROWSED, quietly, in the Fiction/Literature shelves (NOT THE KIDS' SECTION) for 20 full minutes! I was thirsty, so I bought a Sprite Zero. This made me laugh out loud. Such a TREAT! (And so ridiculous that it's a treat!) I came home feeling energetic, actually, like some burden had been lifted (the burden of remembering all the things I needed to buy? maybe).
Who knew socks and underwear could so inspire!?
P.S. Guess what else? Today, I skipped work for a 3.5-hour "lunch," to chaperone Kate's field trip to the Symphony! My manager's on an airplane back from Germany, she'll never know. TOTAL REBEL IN THE HOUSE, everybody WATCH OUT.
Last night, I decided that attending rehearsal is "no longer serving me," to borrow a phrase from the wellness and happiness-movement languages. Hush, you voices that say, "But music ministry is supposed to be about you serving them, not the other way around, Lee." I know. I'll serve on Sunday. I just don't think rehearsal is doing me any good. In fact, it makes me growly and tired. John would always challenge us vocally, to conserve the breath, to aim for the very pinpoint of the pitch, to use dynamics and phrasing to make something beautiful. I miss that. Even WITH that, though, sometimes choir practice was still the same old songs, and I've been in the group for 10-ish years now.
SO, last night I didn't let on to the kids or to Shawn, but I opted out and went shopping, by myself, instead. All year I've been remembering, then forgetting, that my black trouser socks have holes in the toes... or that my Am0ena bras, which I LOVE, are in fact, more than a few years old at this point... or that I've, ahem, gained a pound or two, and guess what, my sweaters don't fit as comfortably as they used to. (BTW, I saw this tip yesterday, for stretching out shrunken clothes. I wonder if it works?)
I went to Kohl's with my handy dandy credit card and their constant promise of percentages off -- everything's always on sale there, every day! -- and I bought stuff FOR ME. Well, first I bought stuff for Shawn -- he needed new basics, too. But then, I spent 30 minutes trying on a VARIETY of bras. I went back and forth from the fitting room, more than twice! Here are all the necessaries I bought: Bra, 4-pack underwear, 6-pack trouser socks, 1 pair of jeans, two sweaters, one tank top, one pair of running shoes (walking)... It was extravagant! At least to me.
Usually when I declare I'm going shopping, a lovely 8-year-old wants to come, and she is not so patient when Mommy wants to try things on for a half-hour. And somehow, we always end up in the Girls 6X-10 area, and by then I don't want to spend more money on me. So this wandering around, all on my own, was so unusual! Freedom! Craziness!
After Kohl's I still had plenty of time, so I popped into Ross next, and found a pair of black ankle boots for $22. Score. THEN, on a high, I took myself to Books-A-Million and JUST BROWSED, quietly, in the Fiction/Literature shelves (NOT THE KIDS' SECTION) for 20 full minutes! I was thirsty, so I bought a Sprite Zero. This made me laugh out loud. Such a TREAT! (And so ridiculous that it's a treat!) I came home feeling energetic, actually, like some burden had been lifted (the burden of remembering all the things I needed to buy? maybe).
Who knew socks and underwear could so inspire!?
P.S. Guess what else? Today, I skipped work for a 3.5-hour "lunch," to chaperone Kate's field trip to the Symphony! My manager's on an airplane back from Germany, she'll never know. TOTAL REBEL IN THE HOUSE, everybody WATCH OUT.
Thursday, November 10
Weary
Funny how everyone kept saying, "I'll just be so GLAD when this is over," all during the election cycle, and now that it's over, no one is glad.
I'm disappointed to see T-Rump representing us. It made me say a bad word when I woke up Wednesday and checked the news. He's not a decent person, I don't think. Not by a long shot. But you know what? This is how American democracy works, and why are people surprised that the "change" candidate won? That's normal after an 8-year term. I'm sick of the reaction to it already. I am sorry for the people who feel despondent and betrayed, and as I said, I don't like him either, but I'm weary of all the dramatic, earnest, "I will"/"I will not" posts in my social feeds. (Note to self: Stop checking FB, duh. And stop listening to news radio for a while.)
I downloaded two new books to distract me. Last night, though, I fell asleep immediately, at around 9:00, and wasn't able to shake myself out of it enough to make lunches or read. Shawn and I both, we think, aren't adjusted to the time change! Isn't that weird? Our kids seem fine, it's the grown-ups who can't get used to it. AskMoxie didn't warn me about this, heh.
Today I woke up with neck pain. I don't know what's going on with my shoulder and neck, but it's not great. I suspect that years of choral singing contribute to the shoulder pain -- holding a hymnal high and out in front isn't doing me any favors. Nor is sitting at a computer and reaching for the mouse all day every day. And probably, doing a lot of downward-facing dog and other yoga poses without really thinking about shoulder alignment. For the last 3-4 weeks I have had pretty consistent pain at the front of my right shoulder. Sometimes, I guess, when it's worse, I hold tension there and it moves across to my neck. Like today. I roll it and turn it and stretch it but nothing's working yet. I'll end up taking an Aleve but I'd kind-of like to just leave it alone and see what happens. Will it seize up completely? Should I go see a doctor? Probably. But I don't feel like having to do X-rays, only to be told they don't see anything, and I'm too chicken to try a chiropractor. I don't know. Modern problems. I've heard of people going to the doc for aches and pains and being told, "It's because you're using your mobile device too much." I don't want THAT diagnosis, either - how embarrassing. We'll see what happens. We've talked about investigating a new, fancy Sleep Number bed, too.
Since I'm already a little grumpy (but overall great! Kids are great! Husband even better! It's finally fall! It's almost the weekend!) I'll also tell you that I STILL, after 20 years at this writing thing, get annoyed when I get edited. Which happened this morning. (Or, not so much edited as told, "I'm not seeing the connection between this headline and that text," or, "It doesn't look right, now that I see it in the layout." It's never the layout's fault, by the way. It's NEVER that maybe it should have been designed differently. Nope.) So I'm off to go rewrite a headline that I thought was a good, unique, able-to-be-translated way to SAY THE SAME THING AGAIN. Argh.
I'm disappointed to see T-Rump representing us. It made me say a bad word when I woke up Wednesday and checked the news. He's not a decent person, I don't think. Not by a long shot. But you know what? This is how American democracy works, and why are people surprised that the "change" candidate won? That's normal after an 8-year term. I'm sick of the reaction to it already. I am sorry for the people who feel despondent and betrayed, and as I said, I don't like him either, but I'm weary of all the dramatic, earnest, "I will"/"I will not" posts in my social feeds. (Note to self: Stop checking FB, duh. And stop listening to news radio for a while.)
I downloaded two new books to distract me. Last night, though, I fell asleep immediately, at around 9:00, and wasn't able to shake myself out of it enough to make lunches or read. Shawn and I both, we think, aren't adjusted to the time change! Isn't that weird? Our kids seem fine, it's the grown-ups who can't get used to it. AskMoxie didn't warn me about this, heh.
Today I woke up with neck pain. I don't know what's going on with my shoulder and neck, but it's not great. I suspect that years of choral singing contribute to the shoulder pain -- holding a hymnal high and out in front isn't doing me any favors. Nor is sitting at a computer and reaching for the mouse all day every day. And probably, doing a lot of downward-facing dog and other yoga poses without really thinking about shoulder alignment. For the last 3-4 weeks I have had pretty consistent pain at the front of my right shoulder. Sometimes, I guess, when it's worse, I hold tension there and it moves across to my neck. Like today. I roll it and turn it and stretch it but nothing's working yet. I'll end up taking an Aleve but I'd kind-of like to just leave it alone and see what happens. Will it seize up completely? Should I go see a doctor? Probably. But I don't feel like having to do X-rays, only to be told they don't see anything, and I'm too chicken to try a chiropractor. I don't know. Modern problems. I've heard of people going to the doc for aches and pains and being told, "It's because you're using your mobile device too much." I don't want THAT diagnosis, either - how embarrassing. We'll see what happens. We've talked about investigating a new, fancy Sleep Number bed, too.
Since I'm already a little grumpy (but overall great! Kids are great! Husband even better! It's finally fall! It's almost the weekend!) I'll also tell you that I STILL, after 20 years at this writing thing, get annoyed when I get edited. Which happened this morning. (Or, not so much edited as told, "I'm not seeing the connection between this headline and that text," or, "It doesn't look right, now that I see it in the layout." It's never the layout's fault, by the way. It's NEVER that maybe it should have been designed differently. Nope.) So I'm off to go rewrite a headline that I thought was a good, unique, able-to-be-translated way to SAY THE SAME THING AGAIN. Argh.
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