Next Two Weeks: This Is It!

I joke a lot about Not Planning This Very Well, when my friends marvel that I've got both a graduating high school senior and graduating 8th grader this year. I really did count wrong: When we got pregnant with Kate, I looked at the age Alex would be when she was born (3), and thought, "oh, perfect! He'll be a high school senior when she's a freshman! He can show her the ropes!" I forgot to notice the months, and the schoolyear cutoff month, and all that. Whoopsie. Not that there was anything to be done about it, but it didn't cross my mind again until, oh, a few years ago when Alex actually started high school. "Waiiiit a sec," I realized. "He'll graduate when... oh. Shoot." Haha. 

So anyway, the next two weeks are Pret.ty. Big. for our family. First it's the last week of school... Alex has already been Senioritis-ing his way through this week, since his AP exams are taken, and all the band concerts are finally done. He has his yearbook, his cap and gown (needs ironing asap), the announcements have been sent, and we're mentally moved on to August and his move-in at UGA. (Did I tell you he chose a roommate? He chose a roommate; a kid from band. They're not best of friends, but I think they'll do fine together. It'll be nice to start with someone familiar, maybe. Good family. I'm relieved.)

Kate's teachers are still making them work for it, with a few last projects (one final "hey Mom this is due tomorrow" moment yesterday, Thank You So Much Dear Teachers) and academic days. But the mood is set, we're getting pumped about the 8th Grade Last Day festivities at St. Joe's, and then Hoya Lights at the high school, a night of fireworks and baby pictures that's designed to make moms cry -- again, Thanks So Much, but I really didn't need any assistance there.

This morning I was gathering school-years pictures of Kate for a poster I'm supposed to make for her. It was so fun. And also, of course, heart-squeezing, as I wondered if I've really enjoyed all of these years as much as I should have. Gulp. Probably best not to ponder. But I did enjoy them didn't I?.... I know I tried. I hope this blog shows evidence of me trying. There were some hard years, juggling everything, especially when my work situation made me tense and unhappy. But I enjoyed the Drama club chaperoning for both kids. I enjoyed them having friends over. I enjoyed Kate being funny and little and crazy. I enjoyed the heck out of being a Band Mom for Alex, as you well know. Many more things (I discovered the blog archives this morning and yes, there were happy times. <3)... And I'm SO, SO grateful that God made it possible for me to have a little more flexibility, here at the end of both things, so I can manage it all right now. To wit:

Sunday: Baccalaureate for Alex (which he had never heard of and I had to define for him)

Wednesday next week: Candlelighting Mass at St. Joe's and then Kate's last Vball practice with her class

Thursday: Hoya Lights at the football stadium

Friday: Carpool shenanigans, 8th Grade Vs. Teachers Volleyball Game, picnic, pool party, and Alex's Last Day in High School (typing this just made my throat tight) - I took the day off work

Saturday 21st: Two graduation parties for Alex's friends (overlapping), and Kate's class dance party

Monday 23rd: Grandparents arrive!

Tuesday 24th: Kate's graduation 

Thursday 26th: Alex's graduation

Friday 27th: Alex's graduation party at home (small, family)

I declare that Monday the 30th, Memorial Day, will be a day of napping.

Retirement Age

Shawn and I just attended the retirement lunch for one of his coworkers, Cathy, who was once one of my coworkers. I knew her before I knew Shawn, actually. She seemed "older" at that time, but she was probably around my current age, maybe a few years younger. HA! (She threw us a little co-ed wedding shower, actually, at Manuel's in our old neighborhood. Remember, honey?) He and I have 15 & 20 years to go,  respectively, but it's weird to think that we're at the age now where we're learning how to give good retirement parties. Not bachelorette parties or wedding showers, or even good kid birthday parties: retirement parties. 

It was odd to go out to lunch at all, to be honest. I go out once a week-ish, with my current favorite cowrker, but I remember the days when going out to lunch was a nearly-every-day thing. Sometimes, a group of us (including this friend who's retiring) went to our favorite restaurant twice in the same week. Frequently. Oh, Sundown Tacos, how I miss you. Paying for a full lunch twice in one week is pretty unfathomable to me now. Particularly since I work from home, but even if I didn't... I just can't see allowing myself to spend money like that, all willy-nilly! TWICE?! That's just crazy talk.

Anyway, we're old, get off my lawn, the end.

Well, not really the end, I guess: this WEEK will never end. It's only THURSDAY gahhhhhhhh. And directly following this week is a super-long weekend of full days with both band and volleyball. TIME OF OUR LIVES, TIME OF OUR LIVES, I keep telling myself, and there IS an element of fun energy to it, that if you can put blinders to the logistics, is truly THE BEST. Last weekend, for example: volleyball games were won! Kate was playing well and happy! Volleyball moms are sweet and fun to hang out with! Walking to lunch on a gorgeous 70-degree day! Dinner with (other) friends! Then an AMAZING concert at a beautiful concert hall, with Alex playing the star-highlighted clarinet part! I mean, my heart could not have been more full. I just had to not think about 1) handling all the things on the calendar at once and 2) DRIVING all over creation. 

It's really true what I was told as a young mother, though, crying over having to work full-time and put my kids in daycare: They actually need you MORE when they're older. It was so hard for me to fathom that then, but now I see it. While our teens don't necessarily want us around them all the time, they need us more, a) to drive them when they aren't old enough yet, and b) just to be the assuring support behind their big activities. To BE THERE. Presence. It lays that foundation for them, and lets them be themselves and do their things and become who they're meant to become. 

So thanks, Marybeth, for that sound advice so long ago. 

My sugar detox went fairly well, if you consider having one small piece of dark chocolate at the end of day 2, and one peanut butter energy ball w/chocolate chips during day 3, a success. And I do. It's much better than a day with 2 quick cookies, then an energy ball, then a piece of dark chocolate, and maybe one more cookie a little later. I am my father's daughter. I think even a 3-day fast from sugar was difficult, though (clearly). Maybe I should do one day off, one day on. Still thinking on it.

I'm also trying to eat more salads as meals. It's just that it's kind-of a pain to make them. But worth it, really, and maybe with summer almost here, I'll feel more like salads. Maybe I'll try new vegetables (radishes? endive? more cabbage?) and allow a little bit of good cheese (FETA, droooool). Make some yummy vinaigrettes. Does it sound like I'm trying to convince myself? Because I am.

Hey guess what else? It's time for me to buy dresses for GRADUATIONS. My own kids' graduations, not just "the season of." This whoooooole post is connected now -- getting old... eating salads... fitting into new, pretty dresses, graduating kids!

In Concert: A little update on our eldest

Last night, I was struck very emotionally about how dad-gum GROWN Alex looked on-stage:

Seriously, click to make larger and see just how handsome he is. ;) The new haircut helps, some, too, but this is a kid! A mere child! Okay, he's 15 and a half, but how and when exactly did that happen?! I just couldn't quite believe it. There was a sense of "this is what he will look like as an adult" and I did not enter that theater expecting such a vision.

I was so glad to go listen to him play, and gosh, I'm thankful for this school. Public school is AMAZING in our district/county. This music program blows me away -- the concert last night was thisclose to being as good as any symphony orchestra I've heard. The music was so difficult! It's just all kinds of impressive.

And it chokes a mom up, especially when she's sitting safely (intentionally) by herself and allows the little tears to well right up because no one is watching.

One other thing I want to remember: He was excited about the third piece on the program because he said, "It's just fun to play." And ahhhhhhh, that got me in the heart! To know the Joy of music is something I dearly, dearly wished for my kids. Afterwards he told me "I'll miss playing that one." Just.. sighhhhh. So happy. He actually practices these days. He wants to learn more, get better -- has even asked to start clarinet lessons, despite being worried about the cost (good-hearted). YES, that is happening. Spare no expense! Bring it on.

As a update from the last post, his braces are half on (bottom half comes next), and so far we cannot even tell he has them. He has a kind-of narrow-lipped smile, anyway, but I seriously forget because I NEVER SEE them (they're clear). Whew. Hopefully he isn't bothered by them and they will do their work and allow an impacted tooth to fall where it's supposed to, thus negating the need for mouth surgery. Eek. Please please please.

And in other facial news, he has his own razor now and has used it. What the what?! Yeah.

Two more driving sessions with the instructor to go; he still has to wait until at least August before getting his license, but he's getting better every time I ride with him. It still scares the heck out of me, but not quite as much as it did at first.

He's writing a paper on "Things Fall Apart" today, for his AP history/literature class. That first AP exam is coming up in a few weeks. I think he's somewhat interested in what's happening in politics this year. And he chose his electives for his JUNIOR YEAR.

Hard to believe. The days are long but the years are indeed so very, painfully short.

Things I Don't Want to Forget, Fall 2019

• At one of the last marching rehearsals of the season, before Grand Nats, when it was inexplicably something like 36 degrees out and a night practice, Alex noticed his freshman clarinet buddy, Cooper, was wearing shorts, shivering with blue lips. Alex had prepared, thankfully (and somewhat surprisingly), by wearing two pairs of pants, one fleecy sweatpant and a lighter athletic pant underneath that. He gave Cooper the sweatpants. No fuss, just took them off and handed them over. No one noticed this, as far as we know, but Shawn happened to be watching practice that night and caught it. Our hearts grew three sizes.
• When I was sick over Thanksgiving (so sick! headache and cold for about 4 days straight, and I was stuffy enough that I couldn't taste any of the food I was making), my family was so kind to me. On Wednesday they let me nap for about 2 hours in the afternoon, and no one complained that we made it a pretty low-key Thanksgiving Day. They helped me cook. They probably did the hard parts for me. I took breaks. We used our regular, dishwasher-safe dishes, not the bone china I like to use on holidays - I just couldn't. I didn't even make any dessert until the afternoon of Thursday, which is when I finally started to improve, and even then only 1 dessert when I had been planning 3. I made the other one, the pumpkin bars, probably 2 days later. It was nice to be allowed to kind-of phone it in. Family is the best.
• Last week, high schoolers received their spring class schedules. Alex was called to the Guidance office to discuss the fact that they had moved him into 2nd period Band, which is the most advanced "Wind Ensemble" class. (He's been in the intermediate-level this semester, having moved up after his freshman year.) He went to the directors to check this. "Hey," he said, "I just want to make sure that this isn't a scheduling error." (Surely you don't move up after one semester, as a sophomore, into the highest level, right?) The head director responded, "Nope, that's not an error. Congratulations," in his very understated way. Heart bursting with pride (again)!
• My Kate has such a generous heart. While it sometimes drives me crazy, because she has all these "ideas" -- we joke that our most feared words from her are, "Mommy, I have an idea..." -- requiring us to go to Michaels to shop every weekend, mostly with my money instead of her allowance, it is so sweet, really. For her 4 best friends, she's decorated Mason jars with color-coordinated candies (Lindt chocolates), PuraVida bracelets, and lip balms, nestled into tissue paper or shredded paper/filler. And, not wanting to leave anyone out, she told me last night she'd also like to bake some cookies for 2 other friends, and put them in clear cellophane bags with pretty ribbon. Makes me happy to see her happy. 
• She also told me again recently, and I don't want to forget, that she desperately wants to be an interior designer someday. Have I mentioned this before? I think it would be perfect for her: spending someone else's money to do creative things. (And eventually, being her own boss.) It fits every aspect of her little (big) personality so well. 

So Proud

What a weekend we had at Grand Nationals in Indianapolis!

I have to explain: Our kids' show was entitled, "Restricted: Area 51," so early on in the season, parents started talking about tinfoil hats, and then some of them, including my typically not-so-spirited husband, ordered costumes. We were a pretty wild bunch of spectators, to be honest. 

...about to take the field... each band has 15 minutes total, to set up, perform, and exit the field. The show is 8+ minutes so it's pretty intense getting on and off! 

First set, before it begins...

Kate was over it by the end of the first day, and this pic was taken on the 2nd, so you do the math...

Clarinets section after their semifinals performance, I think

Because of copyright, we can't post the video yet, as far as I understand it. We did learn last night that each band's show is put to bed after the season, and won't ever be done or seen again, live. That's kinda sad, isn't it? But also, cool. Exclusive.

A few other memorable things:

• The drive up was fairly easy, and unlike when we take 5-hour road trips, I helped drive. I took the shifts that were closest to home, which I thought would make them easier, but actually I think there are more semi trucks near Atlanta and Chattanooga/Nashville, than further north into Kentucky and Indiana, so that was a mistake on my part. Whatever, it was fine. Scenic drive, morseo than when we go south. We even saw an Amish horse and buggy. 
• Our hotel was ...fine. It was a Towne Place Suites by Marriott, but it's hard to know what you're getting into when booking online. When we drove up at 4:00 on Friday, with Indy having had snow earlier in the week, things just looked kind-of dirty and sketchy. We were in a nondescript business-park kind of area, and there was at least one beat-up car leaving the parking lot as we arrived, and we were a little put off. However, our suite was completely fine with a mini kitchen and 2 bedrooms (we got upgraded). A little too much air freshener in the hallways, but otherwise acceptable. (I just realized no one cares how our hotel was, but I feel like I always get us rooms at these questionable places, because I'm always trying to save a little money. Ugh. Next time, I'm just going to have to be okay with spending a bit more, I have decided.)
• Lucas Oil Stadium is huge! Surprisingly, I have never been in an NFL stadium before! I am a fan of Peyton Manning and Tony Dungy, and liked the Colts back then, so I was happy to visit this particular venue. And what a feeling it must have been to perform there!
• It would (will) be verrrry easy for me to slip into being a total, unabashed marching band nerd. I have already been sneaking over to the hornrank.com discussion forums and following conversations with interest. ;)
• Our preliminary performance was good; however, there were some technical difficulties. The equipment crew couldn't find one of the tarps that are supposed to be laid on the field... one piccolo soloist's mic wasn't working... another tarp folded up accidentally during the show... and another prop had a door malfuntion, unnoticable to most, but not to those of us who were familiar with the show. STILL, it was enough to send us to semifinals.
• Semifinals was a SPECTACULAR run. Everything went smoothly, they found the tarp, it was heart-stirring and I sat there with my hands clasped under my chin the whole time, in nervous anticipation. They did so well. Left it all on the field, as they say.  ;)
• After both performances, it took me about a half-hour before I had fully calmed my nerves. 
• Thursday and Friday nights, we went back to our hotel and watched movies on Disney+. That was a nice way to wind down. We chose The Cat from Outer Space (ha!) from 1978, and then the new live-action Lady and the Tramp. Both were awesome. 
• Even with our stellar semifinals run, we didn't quite make finals. Our scores were so super close... but we just couldn't beat some of the enormous bands from TX and IN. It was disappointing, but what matters most is the heart with which the kids accepted that news, the pride they always have, and the memories they undoubtedly made. Those are the things we're taking away. In the end I think we finished 15th out of 90 bands. Not too shabby!
• I'm so, so glad we all went to experience this alongside Alex. It was incredible. It is an indescribable feeling to be a parent, watching your kid do huge things. 

Big Kids

A sophomore in high school, 15 year-old boy, who has a learner's permit to drive. And a sixth grader -- middle school, who does her own hair and definitely does NOT want to wear clothes from Justice anymore.

These are big kids living in my house and it's surprising sometimes. They take care of themselves (mostly). They manage their time and homework (pretty well). They shower without being asked to do so.

They both have such great personalities. You know what's awesome, with bigger kids? Joking around. When someone comes up with the perfect sarcastic one-liner, and everyone gets it, and it's FUNNY. We have some of the best laughs around the dinner table lately.

I have to share a photo that I just found on the Band parents' FB page: 

Newest marching clarinets C. and Alex

I just need to get one of him in his shako and plumes, with his instrument, so you can see the full pomp and circumstance. But THIS KID! I am so proud of him. C. next to him is a freshman, who looked like a deer in headlights the first few days of band camp. I think (hope) that Alex has been able to welcome and guide him along as he gets to know high school, just as a kid named Nick did for Alex last year. I hope that these two will be good friends -- the kid behind them is the only other male clarinetist, a senior. I bet the 3 of them have fun.

We have had fun. From the first home football game, when Mom and Dad visited and went with us, to the most recent Saturday band camp days with mini "performances" at the end for parents, to the first away game last week, we are learning the ropes and sitting on a lot of metal stadium benches. I've volunteered as a chaperone a couple of times, a seamstress a couple of times, and just last weekend, a concessions server (and Shawn was a Grill Dad). Hoo boy, it is a lot! But it's the best lot -- I'm having the time of my life. 

Guess what starts this week? Kate's middle school Drama Club. They are producing Aladdin, Jr. in January. I already have a volunteer title for that, too! And I'm feeling not stressed, but "BRING IT." I'm so excited for these two, and just love watching them do really impressive things.

Yes, I can do that for you! All About Sleepovers

I don't claim to be an expert about sleepovers... not by a long shot! But I guess I have learned a few things that make hosting them easier, and I can certainly share those here.

I think Alex was six when he went on his first overnight sleepover, to our next-door neighbors' house. That was one way to make it infinitely easier -- having it next door! On the side of letting them go to a friend's, here are my rules:

1. I must receive an invitation (text message) from the parent. None of this, "Jimmy invited me to spend the night Friday. His mom said." And no, I'm not going to text his mom. That's inviting yourself over, and is impolite. Tell Jimmy his mom needs to get in touch with me.

2. You can pack your own small bag. (I let them take whatever they want, and just ask at the end to make sure they've got pajamas, toothbrush/toothpaste, a change of clothes and clean underwear.)

3. There should be a confirmed pick-up time, and if you've spent the night at a friend's, I will pick you up. (Unless the parent offers, I don't expect them to host my kid and also drive my kid home. Sometimes they offer and that's great! But if not, my kid = my responsibility.)

When I'm hosting, here's what I usually do:

1. I think it's best to do sleepovers on a Friday, because they'll be tired from school. Brilliant, right? Wasn't my idea, but I have used it with pretty consistent success. For example, Kate and her friend went to bed at 10:00 pm with no prompting from me last Friday. Actually said, "We're tired, we're going to sleep." Mwuah-ha-ha, success. I think when she was younger I usually attempted to get them to bed (ish) by 9:30, knowing they would stay up talking -- because come on, it's a sleepover, staying up late is part of the fun! However, if they're up past MY bedtime, or generally not being quiet, I have never been afraid to tell them to settle down and go to sleep.

2. Dinner: Order pizza. It's fun and it's easier. Now sometimes, if it's my kid's birthday for instance, I'll make his/her favorite meal, and I've never had a guest turn their nose up at spaghetti or chili, although I'm always nervous that will happen. I always ask the guest if they'll eat whatever I'm planning to serve. My advice is to keep it simple, though; save your spicy Thai shrimp dinner that your kids will eat for another night. (On the flip side, my kids have tried a few things away at others' homes that they never would have tried at our table: different fruits, Vietnamese food at the Vietnamese kid's house, etc., so it's up to you.)

3. YES to snacks. Not too many and not all night long, but popcorn is always a treat if they watch a movie (we don't make it often), or maybe buy a type of dessert you don't normally buy, or something fun like that.

4. Let them sleep in the guest room. Or, on the floor in the living room if you don't have a guest room. This has always been a big hit at our house because there's a TV in the guest room, but not in the kids' rooms. I don't mind; keeps them out of my hair!

5. Depending on the kid visiting, the great thing about having a friend over is that they usually occupy themselves so that DH and I can have some time to ourselves. Or.... that is the theory. More often than I would like, I get a surprising, "We're bored."  ....?!? I never know what to do with that. It is not my job to entertain them, though. Usually I throw out "board games?" "Wii Sports?" "Scavenger Hunt? (meaning, they create it for each other and then do the hunting -- just kidding, I've never been smart enough to suggest this. But I wish I had!)" "Watch a movie?" and see if that solves it. Once or twice with girls, I have stupidly suggested we paint nails. DO NOT DO this. It takes forever, and they don't sit still long enough for it to dry, but if you don't help, you will surely have nail polish all over the bathroom floor. The last several years, "making slime" has become THE sleepover activity. Ugh. But at least they do it without me, being "experts." I do try to limit the time they spend on the iPad as much as I can.

6. Breakfast -- I nearly always make cinnamon rolls from a can, or an easy muffin mix. Pancakes on a rare occasion but truly, I'm in it for EASY. I try to have fruit available as well, so they'll tell their parents they had something healthy besides popcorn and pizza, lol! Sometimes I'll take kids to get doughnuts, but not very often.

7. Don't make the experience last too long. Morning, or just after lunch, is a good time to say the sleepover ends. What I've found is that, even very bestest of friends get sick of each other after 24 hours -- that is really too long.

That's all I can think of at the moment. Hope it helps, S! :)

Things about Alex that bring me J O Y

His sweet temperament and personality. His gentleness.

When he dances or dabs after making the perfect comment.

That he's so self-reliant and responsible.

How he loves his kitties so much and just wants what's best for them.

How he handles all his allergies without much complaint.

His handsome face. He is and has always been such a good-looking kid. (I know biology makes me biased.) ;)

His ability to remember things he's studied and read. His mind. 

His quiet nature.

His desire that everyone just do the right thing, himself included.

How he's handling high school, with all its newness, as it comes. 

His loyalty to and friendship with Brandon.

That he goes at his own pace and knows his limits.

That he's stepped out of his comfort zone to try the rock climbing club, mostly because we made him pick SOMETHING, but that he chose this one, not the one we suggested. ;)

That he'll discuss good books with me. 

That I can use bad language around him now, and it doesn't phase him. (Not that I do it very much, but you know. When we watch a video and the f-bomb is dropped, it's okay.) Teens for the win.

That he's being cautious in high school, where kids are sometimes doing dangerous/questionable things like vaping and Juul pods. 

When he works really hard at a piano piece and wants to get it right.

That he's so sensitive to my feelings. 

That he is HELPFUL and if we ask for his help, he willingly gives it.

That he's frugal and wise about money.

That he'll still jump on the trampoline or shoot baskets with his sister.

He doesn't always understand her, but he tells her he loves her every night before bed. 

Things about Kate that bring me J O Y

Her hair, especially when she wears it in two little buns on the top of her head, like this morning. She is so. cute.

Her shoulder dimples.

Her beautiful face, especially when she smiles big or laughs.

Her desire to be funny (and her inability to deliver a punchline). Her "jokes."

The way she looks when she sleeps.

The way she still likes to sleep in my bed.

How fast she reads.

Cartwheels, when she was six and seven. Constant Cartwheels.

The fact that she can do both a back walkover and a front walkover (I never could!).

The fact that she wants so badly to get her back handspring.

Her beautiful singing voice.

When she sings in the shower at full volume. ;)

How grown-up she sometimes is, talking about purses or shoes or even friends -- especially how she handles friends who maybe aren't acting so grown up. Water off a duck's back... "whatever."

How she loves arts and crafts. Making things.

How sweet she is when she's with sweet friends like Olivia, Mary, and Ady Grace.

Her sense of fashion is all her own.

She wanted VANS. Black and white checkered Vans. (And the Vans sticker, this past summer.)

How she just wants the cats to LOVE HER.

That she'll try new foods and usually likes them. Someday she'll go out for sushi with me. And Thai food. And Greek.

That she is confident and strong.

The day in between...

Yesterday was a big day. Orientation for Alex at his new high school. HIGH SCHOOL. How do we have a kid in high school? A fourteen-year-old? I mean, it was NOT that long ago when I was fourteen. I remember it very distinctly, remember my first few days of 9th grade, where my locker was, what the combination was (31-1-15 whyyyyyy), all my teachers, the sounds and smells of the buildings... not long ago! Hahaha. Er, 30 years is short! A blink!

Anyway, I took Alex to Orientation and the first test of our fortitude was that the parking situation was terrible. Allll those parents and students, all at once, and guess what? It's a construction year! So half the parking places aren't available. Traffic was lined up to get into the lot, and even when we did, ten minutes late already, there were no spots. I had to let Alex out (good luck, honey! you're on your own!) and go down the street to find a grassy field with some room for my car. It all worked out, I think, and we got some good information during the morning's events. There was a moment later in the day when I could tell Alex was upset. It was after he stood in line and got his yearbook photo taken. He'd been waiting for his 8th grade friend to finish, as well (one of the three people he knows at the school), and waiting a long time apparently. I could see the very beginnings of tears in his eyes, and he said he was just "tired of having no one to talk to." Sigh. It's going to be lonely for a day or three, my boy. Until you meet some people and see them for a few days, and then know them. 

I have hope that his other known friend, Will, is going to have the same lunch period. There's a pretty good chance, and if that were the case, it would once again be God's hand giving us an outright gift. (There have been a few instances of that recently - other moms offering to keep Kate on days I just didn't know what we would do, babysitter-wise, etc.) I would accept prayers and crossed fingers on the lunch topic, from anyone who reads this. xo

Today is the day in-between. I'm at the office and I do hope he's working on his World History assignment -- naturally, the one summer assignment he did NOT complete yet, is his first period class. It's due next Monday.

I've been thinking about how nervous we all were when he started Kindergarten, and how that experience led us to this one. We've "started a new school" once before, and it became home. We can do it this time, too. 

Tomorrow's Day One. He'll take the bus for the very first time, and he told me not to walk with him to wait for it. He said it kindly, don't worry, and I get it. It may rain. :( More prayers for clear skies, at least at 7:40 am and 3:55 pm. He has money on his student lunch account, so he can buy something fun (pizza! nachos! chicken tenders! all the options we did not have in parochial school, for the low, low price of $2.60!). He has an idea of where to go. Shawn and I can't help but coach him; we both keep saying "just do..." and "just remember," and I'm sure it's driving him crazy. But here we are. 

Dear Alex, on your 8th grade graduation retreat...

The 8th grade graduation celebrations have started. The first is an all-day retreat today, and us parents were asked to send our kids letters. Here's mine. 

Dear Alex,

I'm so glad that I've had lots of opportunities to write to you over the years, mostly via the letters and postcards I've sent to WinShape. It makes this letter-writing a little less daunting. ;)

Today you're at your 8th grade retreat (duh, Mom). It's both unbelievable — it honestly seems like yesterday you started Kindergarten at St. Joseph's with your Batman backpack — and totally believable — sometimes the days have been long, haven't they? Finally, you're about to reach the end of 9 years. And wow, all that you've accomplished in your time there. My heart bursts. Your Faith in Action awards (3!), your amazing report cards every single grading period, your deep friendships, your excellent papers, stories, and essays, Scouting experience and achievements, Math awards and Honors, Battle of the Books awards, AR awards, Drama performances, and JESUS! ;) I'm most proud of that one. AND of your being chosen to do a long reading at your very first Mass in Kindergarten. 

You'll take all of these things, and what you learned from them, with you in the next phase, high school, and even beyond that. You may not realize it, but there are characteristics you've earned by doing, that are now part of who you are and who you will continue to be: dedication, commitment, integrity, friendliness (don't discount that one — it's super important), goodness, humor (I adore your sense of humor and it will take you further than you know, particularly because you know how and when to use it well), easy-going-ness (sorry, I know it's not a word), patience, and pride in yourself. Since you were very little, you've been self-assured. This pleases me to no end, because I don't think I felt self-assurance until much later in my life.

I am so proud of you. The joy you bring to our family is unique. I love you infinity, and I am always, always here for you. Congratulations, and enjoy these last few weeks. 

Love, 
Mom

I might be going a little crazy

I find myself with nothing to do. We have projects in limbo because of yet another "re-configuring" of our work, this time led by a top exec in the company who... still hasn't hired us a Director of Marketing. Instead, she's decided to start making sweeping declarations herself. Such as, the product catalog we've produced every year for millions of years will no longer be produced. The Magazine-of-Much-Angst which we decided NOT to print any longer, 2 years ago, may now come back into print production. Slash! this brochure. Cut! that brochure. While we're at it, we're going to rework all 12 global websites in 12 languages and do that all by April 6, she declares. With a flick of our magic wands, apparently. 

Anyway, no one's assigning work right now as we await further instructions/clarifications, and the work we had been planning to do might not need to be done. Our Content Strategy could be out the window, despite all the work we've done to get it in place. Just because. Or so it seems.

It's super fun. Anyway, I've been online reading and reading to keep occupied, everything from "how much should I feed/bathe my cats?" to the usual reactions to mass shootings (how sad that we have "the usual" reactions). But at the moment it seems a lot of websites aren't loading. Such is the life of a desk jockey like myself. Sigh. Look busy.

At my lunch break I went to PetSmart again. ;) It's right across the street from my office, which is very handy, and they so kindly emailed me a $10-off coupon after taking my email address the first time we visited. It expired tomorrow, so I wanted to go spend it. Nothing exciting, just 2 more bags of dry food (one kitten and one adult), 6 little cans of wet food, and ... another set of kitty dishes. I couldn't resist, Shawn, I'm sorry. They are cute and now we can stop serving the wet food on my 2 random little pieces of yellow Fitz and Floyd china. HA! Everything matches. We are now pet owners from Pinterest.

I had to make the cats' feeding area cute because the current dilemma of the day is what to do about them while we're at Disney in 3 weeks, for 5 days. We're asking a neighbor if she wouldn't mind feeding them (and thus, be in our house and see the pet feeding area and it needing to be cute). We don't feel right about boarding them, this early into their having found a home. And gosh, I love those little critters -- the actual thought of being away for 5 days makes me sort-of want to ...stay home! Don't tell my mom! Not really, but... I'm crazy, right??

Leave the cats reluctantly to go play with a giant mouse. Heh. 

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In other news, we have a teenager in the house. He feels he is old enough to express his opinion to me now, which is a good thing in the long term but not so wonderful sometimes in the short term. I don't want to dwell on the specifics of just how he's judging me, but I'm trying to remind myself that he's growing his independence and learning to test his limits just as he should. He said it lovingly (I think?) and meant no disrespect, but it hurt a little. 

Oh, alright, I'll tell: it doesn't make sense without the context. He said he respects my parenting and all, but gets annoyed when I give in to his sister sometimes. It didn't really bug me so much immediately - I told him that there are days when I just don't have the energy to fight with her, and I choose my battles - but the more I think of it, the more it bugs me. Last night when Kate was giving me The Business but I was Sticking To My Guns, Alex then had the gall to stage-whisper "good job!" to me as she went on and I didn't. !!! The nerve. I mean, encouraging nerve, and of course he's probably right, but. 

But.

As for Kate, she learned that she can, indeed, boil water and egg noodles even though she's only 9, when meatloaf and mashed potatoes (nor any "non-dinner" thing like yogurt and sandwiches and cereal) are not to her liking.

So that's how the kids are. Otherwise great -- basketball and drama are in full swing, so Saturday mornings are shot for a while, but still, that can be great. I'm eager to Stay somewhat Present in all of the busy-ness and taxi-driving, and to enjoy This Time of Their/Our Lives, because I know, I KNOW that when it's all finished, it's finished and you can't ever get it back again. Some days it's a challenge. Especially the driving. But we keep on plugging, and juggling the drop offs and pickups as best we can, saying hello to each other, Shawn and me, when we remember to (sad sad sad) and just marching to the calendar. Every time a new Thing pops up needing to be done (a form, a donation, a volunteer opp), I either:

1. Remind myself that it's OK to say no sometimes, or

2. Immediately set a reminder for the Thing on my phone.

A Beep in the Night

Monday morning at 2:37, Kate tapped me on the shoulder. She'd had a bad dream and needed to be "in the middle" of my bed, between me and her Daddy.

Bad dreams, I allow for a cuddle. Everyone needs a hug after a bad dream. So I let her in. Didn't take more than a few minutes before I was too hot and crowded, though, so I convinced her to come back to her room, and that I would stay in there with her. But I didn't sleep well in there, I'll admit. It wasn't even her fault -- my hands/wrists started throbbing and going numb (wreched carpal tunnel). 

I had just drifted off and was having a pretty weird dream, myself, when my 5:35 alarm started. Drat.

So I was sleepy yesterday morning, but got over it. Thank Coffee. Was greatly looking forward to a better night's rest last night.

2:30 am, though, guess what? Alex tapped me on the shoulder. "Creepy dream," he said, and also that he was hearing a weird dinging noise. I heard nothing, but into my bed he got. My 13-year-old almost-a-high-schooler. His puppy feet touching mine, my arm over his back. Bless it. Still needs that hug, like I said, and everyone gets one after bad dreams. He clenched the covers over his head, in his fists. 

Once again, I got hot and needed to go to the bathroom. In the bathroom, finally, I heard the dinging. More like a beep. I went to tell him I'd heard it, and then started wandering around the house to find the Beep. Downstairs, then back up again, not sure where it's coming from. By this time Shawn's awake, and with his help, we discovered the smoke alarm in the garage was the culprit: battery must be out. Why does this only happen in the dead of night?! (Also, why do they always come to Mommy's side of the bed first? Well, I know why... Mommy's a light sleeper and Daddy isn't. lol.) We'll fix the alarm today. And all the other smoke alarms will get new batteries, too. Alex went back to his room and we attempted to go back to sleep, but never really did. 5:35 came too soon again.

I promise I haven't been serving spicy food at dinner, or letting them watch horror movies or anything.

Watch, my body will wake itself up tonight at 2:30. I just bet.

Hair, Labor Day this weekend, baseball, and beer (in that order)

I have had to -- HAD TO, because I couldn't stand it any more -- pull my hair back at work, twice this week. Clean hair. Hair that I tried to "style," albeit hurriedly, before leaving the house, with a round brush, my blow dryer and hairspray. It's looking stringy and undone by 8:30 am, and just not working for me, so up it goes, in bobby pins or, today, a ponytail. Most of my adult life, my hair hasn't been long enough to do that, so it's a novelty for me to carry around ponytail holders, and to look so "casual" in my professional environment. I feel unprepared if I don't have a couple of ponytail holders in my purse. I'm glad it's getting cut and colored this weekend, because when I pull it back, much more grey is visible to the world.

I'm also doing Kate's hair all the time. She has asked me to braid it every day so far this school year. The good news is, usually there is plenty of time for me to do so. Last year, I never would have dreamed that possible, with our getting-dressed drama. (Man, I am grateful we got past that!) She likes me to do one small braid on each side, then join them in the back, very simply. Like this (this is not Kate's head, btw, just a Google image):

Or one small braid on one side, incorporated into a high ponytail. It's been so cute, and so fun. No frilly bows or barrettes, but still. She wants to learn to do it herself, but I'm holding on to this time when she needs me to do it for her. I know it won't last long. She talks about letting her bangs grow out -- kind-of her signature look, since her very first haircut -- and I think it will look great on her but I also dread it a little bit, because I know she'll look so grown up. 

I should also report that Alex has been styling his hair now for a few years, and looks SO GROWN UP. Why is this happening?!?

(And then, if I've reported on everyone else, I might as well say that Shawn's hair is still very much NOT greying, lucky him. Don't touch his hair.)

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Mom and Dad are on the road right now, driving to see us. I love that Mom asked if they could come visit. YES YES YES, anytime! Plus, it's going to help me out because the kiddos have an extra day and half off over Labor Day. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! So tonight, I'm looking forward to Happy Hour at 5:30 and a snacky dinner, somehow fitting in the kids' piano lessons and getting them to bed on-time, and then we will have to figure out something fun we can do while they're here. 

Not that they require entertaining, of course. But I have a day off, too! Would be nice to do something FUN, as Kate always implores us. I'm thinking of apple picking. We've never done that and there are lots of orchards nearby.

-----

We DID something fun last weekend: Went to a Braves game at their new stadium! Met a former player, even: the famous Mr. Jeff Francoeur, whose sister I worked with during his rookie season. That was awesome. Ate our dinner at the new Wahlburgers, yum yum! And the weather was decent -- not too terribly hot, like most Atlanta baseball games are. We had amazing seats right behind the home dugout, and the kids enjoyed themselves. Us parents, too. Drank a beer! (Kate said to me in disbelief, "Women can have beer?" HA! She'd never seen me drink it, I guess.) In fact, it was the first game we've attended since having kids, I think, that we were able to stay all the way until the last out at 10:30pm! So that was momentous. 

Snapshots of both kids right now

On a weekend or holiday, if we're in the house, you will likely find Alex and Kate on the couch, on the staircase (seated), or on the chair in the living room, legs dangling over the arm, with their iPads. We knew this would be the case when we gave them the iPads at Christmas, and we know the state of the digital world, so it isn't a shock. But it's still sometimes annoying. Kate fires hers up on the floor of her bathroom sometimes, waiting for the shower to get hot. They watch while they walk. It's mostly YouTube that they're into, but there are also some games. Tap Titans is one that I despise, because its beeps and noises are loud and it requires them to just tap, with all 10 fingers, on the screen. As if they're typing, but they're not, just making ONE MILLION fast taps on the hard surface. They both love Rolling Sky and Word Cookies (at least there's one that engages their academic brains - it's anagrams). Alex is just now texting/messaging with his friends. We let him have a Google/YouTube account (had to fudge his age) so he uses Hangouts, I think, and/or iMessage when the other friend has an iPhone. Kate iMessages me (on days when she's home but I'm working, for example), but to my knowledge, no one else.

After years when we heard nothing BUT the Disney Channel, it has largely disappeared from their TV habits. Thank you, YouTube, I guess! Whereas last summer it was endless episodes of "Walk the Prank," "LIv and Maddie" and "Jessie," they hardly ever put it on channel 864 anymore. Nor Cartoon Network. Farewell, Teen Titans Go, Clarence and Regular Show! We don't mind. Kate has also stopped watching so many episodes of Chopped and Pioneer Woman on The Food Network - they were a staple at one time, as well. If we watch TV lately, it's Jeopardy, The Middle (my favorite, too), or AFV (America's Funniest Videos). Alex likes to see the morning (local, just for the weather) and evening news, too, so we sometimes watch ABC World News Tonight or NIghtly News w/Lester Holt on NBC, on weeknights. Oh, and The Flash. They both love it.

Thank the Lord Jesus, they stopped playing "Baby." This was a game where Kate was the "big sister" of various names, "Riley" (pronounced Raleigh) was the most frequent and Alex, MUCH to Shawn's and my chagrin, was "Baby." He was funny in the role -- quite the actor, really -- but ugh, it was grating. Though there is/was a SONG and other family characters. The MaGoogin family, I believe. I hope they'll remember it always and that I'll rarely have to hear it again. ;) Alex put a stop to it, finally, because he is 12 and acting like a baby isn't cool anymore. They do still pretend a little; "Scooter City" seems to be popular, where they pretend to be Razr Scooter champions on a competitive tour (or something) on the driveway, and sometimes a kind-of spy game in the backyard. This year, they're jumping on the trampoline more.

Most times, playing ends in a fight. Either Kate wants to win (at Horse or "Basket Bounce" on the trampoline) or Alex wants her to follow the rules, or both -- so neither one is getting what he/she wants. It's very hard not to play referee and I usually get myself involved, knowing how badly it will turn out. Oh well. At least they're friends for the most part.

Left on their own, Kate will always want to Make something. Artsy-Craftsy, that one. She'll whine that she wants me to help, and do it with her, but she really doesn't want or need my help. (She wants someone in the room with her.) She has her idea of how a project will turn out, and she goes for it. Alex will want to play video games online. He's found several classmates with PlayStation or Xbox profiles and, as we always knew would happen, this is where he chooses to spend a LOT of time lately. Just this weekend we moved one of the game systems up to the bonus room, so we can have the family-room TV back on Friday and Saturday nights. I'm happy about that but it's also -- gosh, he's getting so grown up. In the back room, door closed. Just like a teenager.

Alex is studious and organized. He'll do his homework on Friday night as much as possible, to get it out of he way for the weekend. He is earning awards in Math and has pretty much maintained a 99 average in every class, pre-algebra included. Math is serving him well in music, too. He's playing clarinet in middle school band. Piano lessons for 2 years and really coming into his own there. He and his teacher had a nerdy conversation about scales and chords the other day (she is a total music theory nerd and I love her for it - I am also enjoying these theory lessons as an observer!). He is rational and kind and he has a great developing sense of humor and timing. He understands so much -- I see in the way that he puts up with his sister, that he's trying really hard to help her, but also knows (mostly) when to back off, and that she just isn't wired the same as he is. His blow-ups over homework have MOSTLY stopped (jinx), but there is the occasional stress-out over a project or a hard problem. He's very excited to be an eighth-grader next fall. In Student Council, by the way. A leader.

Kate is also studious and does very well with schoolwork, but wants it over with as soon as possible.... or leaves it until the last minute - often, the morning of, instead of eating breakfast. Not all homework, mind you, but "finishing touches" on projects. Or, "I want to make a [random] card for X" so it has to be done right this minute. She is still not much of a morning person. She'll be one of those people who can't talk/function until she has her coffee, once she's old enough. She is well loved at school, not just by her own teachers, but everyone. Everyone knows her. All the teachers. The eighth-grade girls. Sweet and funny and outspoken in school, I think. Not in a way that gets her in trouble, just that she knows the answer and inserts herself in grown-up conversations sometimes and it charms people. (And makes me cringe a little since I was NOT that way at her age.) She's in Art Club (and everything else) and her Battle of the Books team won 2nd place in the Archdiocese this spring, for all third grade! Her favorite is still gymnastics - says she wants to BE a gymnast - and she's learned a lot in her tumbling class this year - her form has gotten better. It's not a competitive class and I wonder if I should get her into one, but... not sure I'm willing to be that committed to it. She loved basketball this year, too, but mostly for the social aspect of it. Her team won 1 game. ;) She's trying really hard to control her emotions, and doing better, I'd say 65% of the time. Still a little too dramatic and over-reactive for my taste, but we're all working on it. Oh, and she had her first piano lesson this past weekend.

This is going so fast, this "school years" time of our lives. I really can't believe it. I want to bottle it up and keep it, so I've been meaning to write this post for a long time.

Remember this.

Yesterday, Mother's Day, May 14, 2017, Kate is 9 and I am 43.

On the way down the stairs at home, dressed and ready for Mass: She takes my hand to hold.

On the way out of the church, in the beautiful sunny day, chatting and talking: She holds my hand again.

On the way to the car after a lovely brunch: She takes it a third time. I looked down at her hand in mine, and I just want to remember how it felt, how natural and soft and sweet it was, forever.

Also, twice during the day, my nearly-teenage son kissed me on the cheek. Once when he was directed to by his Dad, for a photo op, and another time while I was just sitting at the kitchen table. He just came right up to me and leaned in. Stayed a while, too, after the peck on the cheek, just side-hugging me.

I do like Mother's Day, quite a lot.

Little stuff and big stuff

Well, that's that for slowed-down summertime! This week, we've amped right back up to normal speed, and I have a full week of errands to run and things to do. This isn't necessarily bad, but did cause me to grab a sheet of paper last night to write it all down before I forgot.

• Uniforms - I'm hopeful that Alex will have at least one pair of correct pants and a shirt, and shoes, for the first week (he has to have all new uniform colors this year for middle school). Eek. Kate needs one more plaid jumper, too - tried them on  yesterday and... nope. I didn't intend to let it go this late, but on the other hand, I wasn't thinking of mid-July as that "late" for planning for the next schoolyear. 
• Pest control. Gotta be done, and it's definitely my turn for serviceman duty at the house. No biggie; I plan to put something in the crock pot (shredded BBQ chicken) while I'm there waiting for him on Thursday.
• Call to schedule Kate's gymnastics class for fall. -DONE!
• Pickup the kids' finished pottery at the Art Camp location - Calling on Shawn to handle this one, please, since it's closer to his office.
• School supplies - Kate and I bought hers this weekend because she saw the printed list and got excited about it (I don't blame her, it's the best part of Back to School), but Alex wasn't home from Scout camp yet. He came home Saturday afternoon.
• Middle School Dance Committee - I forgot I had scheduled a meeting this week of the moms on this committee; really another way of saying "dinner out with my friends," but talking about this volunteer job is going to get me a little panicky, I think. It's a big job as it turns out, and I'm not sure why I agreed to it. At least there are 3 of us.
• Having friends over Friday night! Why not?! They just moved to our neck of the woods and I was hoping to relieve them of having to cook/plan during those first few weeks of unpacking. I remember those nights from our move last year. I really like the couple (...I think our kids like/tolerate their kids), but as it turns out, it's kind-of a crazy week to do this. Oh well! Nothing like anticipating company for a housecleaning motivator.... so perhaps some vacuuming downstairs is also on the plan for this week, wheee!

In other news, I have had several heart-to-hearts with my sweet Kate-Kate this weekend/week --  some triggered by good things and I will leave it to your imagination for how the rest were triggered -- but gosh, do I love that challenging little girl. I said to her last night that being a parent, raising a person, can sometimes be so HARD for parents, and we don't always know what to do. Honesty, right? She was crying over something, and sobbed, "But WHY is it so hard to just RAISE somebody???" Why, indeed. She couldn't fathom. I suppose none of us can, until we do it. But gosh, it IS so hard, isn't it? Knowing what to say, and how to say it? And how not to say it? She's growing up before my eyes, and I know that because even through her fits and stubbornness, she's starting to feel right and wrong, and more important, empathy. She frequently tells me, after an episode, that she's worried she's hurt us, Shawn and me, by being disrespectful. Yesterday I got to tell her, "YOU ARE LOVED, NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO. You can't ruin that or mess that up, ever. Period." ....I can't put into words how honored I felt to teach that big and significant lesson, both in words and in actions. And grateful for the grace of that moment.

It's excellent timing before her First Penance next spring, too. She'll be ready, I think. Age of Reason. Pretty smart, Catholicism.

Also interesting re: Saint Claude de la Columbiere.

...


Back to my busy week, I guess, but I'm basking in the big stuff to reflect on, to keep perspective. Grace. Love. We can't mess up badly enough to ruin it. We do make mistakes, but we're still loved absolutely.

Go on, GUESS how I'm feeling.

Whiny. The answer is "whiny," about work this week (total shocker), even though I KNOW I should be grateful for having a job, and yes, it's only a small part of my overall amazing life. Amazing. Grateful, indeed. Part of it is re-entry after Thanksgiving break, which was so lovely and long (3 days off, plus a weekend! Luxury!) and we went to Pensacola and there, at Mom and Dad's, is where I feel comfortable and secure, and also able to be lazy (sorry, Shawn). And cousins. I had such fun letting our kids play with Tom and Dominique's kids, and they all just adore each other. It's hard to leave all that fun.

But my malaise is more than just post-vaca blues, because before the break, I'd had an annual performance review with a new manager who is more critical than my previous manager. She did me in with the "Needs Improvement"s. Sad face. When I see my Outlook calendar or my to-do list, I'm left with a really low, dejected spot in my mind, and uninterested in implementing any resulting goals. It's the opposite of what I think I'm supposed to feel, which is "Motivated and Enthusiastic to do Better, and be more Awesome!" Don't get me wrong, she applauded me on ... one or two things.

Scratch that -- you can go ahead and get me wrong. I guess I've always been a top student and not getting an A hurts a bit. A lot. (Even though I wasn't that surprised by the review, and during it, I didn't get emotional or even argue anything. It's just that 4 or 5 days later, it's starting to sting.)

Anyway, on top of that delightfulness, there are many, many new and Very Important projects. Ideas that people come up with, that they never manage to think all the way through. Or follow up about. But they manage to send me an email with an ACTION item. And they needed it yesterday.

I guess if I combine the two problems -- goal malaise plus things that need following-through-on -- I could come out on top, by bringing some things to fruition and thus looking awesome.

But blogging and Twitter and online shopping all seem like a lot more fun to me right at this moment.

We help because we're part of the family

I just read a post by Caroline at Some Pig and it sparked a topic that has been on my mind, but I've not written about it. Mostly because I'm always too busy whining to have anything as planned-out or well-executed as a TOPIC. Pshaw! Topics.

Anyway, the topic is chores, or in a kinder, gentler tone: Helping around the house.

There's a memory deep in my brain, about being over at a childhood friend's house (Nikki) and having to follow behind her while she dusted one Saturday morning. Her mother required that she do the dusting, and she wasn't complaining about it, just already responsible enough to do it (or... she may have been threatened enough by her parents, I'm unsure). I felt a little weird about because she didn't necessarily want me to help her, she just had to get it done before we could go ride our bikes or jump on the trampoline or whatever. We couldn't have been more than 8 or 9.

I had chores, too, like making my bed (I think) and, as I always tell Kate and Alex, pulling weeds in the yard. Weed-pulling wasn't a daily or weekly thing, though, and making the bed, setting the table.... I never really felt a working pressure to do them. It seems like we had a chore chart at some point. We didn't get allowance, and maybe that's one difference, but in general I knew I was supposed to help around the house. Cleaning up our rooms and our closets was a big one, too, as I recall.

Anyway, we're trying to instill some kind of "helping" mindset in our kids with mixed success. Alex's main chore, for allowance, is that he collects the upstairs and incidental garbage every week. This year I've added "putting away clean clothes" to Alex's list -- I just put them on his bed and he's expected to put them in the drawers neatly.

Kate's first chore was wiping off the table after dinner (she never could stick to that one). Lately it has unofficially become setting the table for dinner. She really likes helping with all the aspects of dinner prep and sometimes I'm even grateful.

They're also supposed to put their backpacks on the hooks (or at least remove them from the middle of the kitchen floor), help me when I'm bringing in groceries, clear their plates after meals, brush teeth, and get dressed... but I don't think of those as chores as much as good citizenry.

I think it's been a gentle, easy progression into doing some work around the house, and I do like that they feel they're "earning" their allowance (we're still at $2.50/week for Alex (age 10) and $1.25/week for Kate (6) -- I don't know if it's too much or too little, but for me it's about learning to earn/save/spend wisely. We still have much work to do there!). We have frequent battles about who's responsible for taking shoes/toys/junk upstairs to their own rooms, and "we all help because we're all part of this family" often needs declaring. I *think* they're getting it, overall, but sometimes attitudes and results tell me otherwise.

An idea percolating to help with the concept, that Swistle incidentally brought up just today, is to spend an hour on a weekend day with everyone cleaning together. Because let me tell you: One thing that stresses Mama out is all the cleaning that piles up during our busy weeks, that has to be done on the weekends. Like scrubbing down bathrooms, vacuuming, cleaning the kitchen counters, and dusting. Shawn almost always does the dusting and vacuuming, and I typically handle kitchens and bathrooms, but I'm thinking it's about time we SHARE THE FUN with the kids. Those are time-consuming tasks and we could get them done faster by working together. Maybe (ha)... Maybe after one good training session... I bet Alex could wield the vacuum. Kate already likes Windexing mirrors and even sweeping under the kitchen table... Maybe there would be an extra couple of dollars tacked onto their allowances for completing the whole hour. Hmmmmm.

Simple.

Last night while eating dinner and with both kids happy (parents too), Shawn asked Kate, "What can we do, to make morning-time easier for you?" I followed up with, "Yeah, what might be some suggestions for how to be happier while we get dressed and ready for school?"

She only had to think for a second, then said, "Maybe set my alarm? And play a CD?"

Simple.



It worked.