a library of my thoughts on motherhood, family, working, and daily life. an attempt to know myself. (hello, self!).
Thursday, December 29
Ta-da!! The 2011 Year-End Meme, slighly shortened
You know, I agree. I guess I'm a little tired of the format, too, but how else do we start?
Overall, I would say that 2011 has been a great year -- I can't complain, truly. We did have a broken arm situation, and some financial stuff that was annoying in our immediate vicinity, but other than that no major troubles! Woo hoo!
1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
The aforementioned broken arm was new! I never broke a bone and had no idea how that all works. In fact I had previously worried, as one might when one's never gone into labor before, "How will we KNOW if it's bad enough to go to the hospital?" Now I know. I also helped throw a surprise 70th birthday party for my Dad -- never done that before. :) I took the week of Spring Break off work to spend with AJ. I want to do that every year now!
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Last year I was feeling smug and forlorn at the same time, and so I made very simple resolutions which I mostly kept. I said then, flossing more than 'hardly ever' will be EASY. Heh. I did floss a little bit more than the previous year, so I WIN. I ate a bit more yogurt in 2011, yes, but I still don't love it. Eh. Who really cares. And my 2 dinner parties, I think, happened. One of them was very early in the year, and the other was Christmas dinner which barely counts, since it was hosting my parents... but I say Win.
Funnily enough, although I REFUSED to make a health-kick "Resolution" last year, I did do better overall in 2011 than ever before. I know I have mentioned that I signed up for Sparkpeople.com, and it did help me in many ways, stick to my routine. I was quite faithful February through May, then the hot months came along and it was harder, but I used the treadmill and didn't really backslide until September/October/November. I started the Couch to 5K in the end of November and I'm still trying to do that. So perhaps the answer is DON'T RESOLVE, JUST DO.
(Good grief, this is just the 2nd question! I may skip several of them.)
No one close to me gave birth, or died, and I visited no countries.
6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
I always say "Lottery winnings" but I will also include Solid Nights' Sleep more often than not. This year was a tough sleep year.
7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
This sounds ridiculous, but Feb 21st is my "Sparkiversary" (haha, embarrassed glancing as I use nerdy insider terminology) and I'm trying to have made some real progress/success by 2/21/12;
June 10 - the weekend of, because we were all together with my parents and sister/brother-in-law, and that rarely happens;
Sept. 11 -- the 10th anniversary was quite a Thing, wasn't it? Our community did a big display of 3,500 US flags in a huge park, and it was breathtaking. We drove by it every day for a week.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I hate to say this but there was a work project that took a huge majority of my time, but it was/is successful and made me look good to my peers. I am proud of it, although I wasn't the only one on the committee. I also have to cite our PAINTING project at home, because it was so long in the making and changed the look of that room so pleasantly/dramatically.
9. What was your biggest failure?
This doesn't keep me up at night, but we did fail to save as much money as we would have liked this year, and also failed to get our wills written. That is going to be a HUGE goal for 2012 -- the wills, I mean. We've been meaning to do it for (gulp) 7 years at least, since AJ was born.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Boring question, and no.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
We bought DH a new car in January, and it's been so good for him to drive something cool and not my old beat-up '97 Corolla. I think he feels like a real man again. Ha. We also bought a new refrigerator (awesome), a new water heater (unexpected) and a new water main line (lame)! So I've now answered the next question.
12. Where did most of your money go?
13. What did you get really excited about?
Seeing Guys and Dolls in August. I love the theater and especially that show. We were so excited to watch AJ's car win the Pinewood Derby in February! And I was on pins and needles when my sister came in THIRD in her first triathlon of the year! We were watching her times online and it was almost as exciting as being there! So awesome. I got really excited/emotional about that, for sure.
14. What song will always remind you of 2010?
The soundtrack of "Tangled,"which is great, and the Good Luck Charlie theme song, which is not that great. KT plays those two shows on Forever Repeat every chance she gets.
15. Compared to this time last year, are you: Happier or Sadder: Happier. I think the kids are getting to the age where DH and I are getting some of our old life back. I mean, a little bit... As much as you can when one of them's still under 5... but still. It's something.
Thinner or Fatter: Same I think.
Richer or Poorer: Poorer, probably. Cost of groceries really seems to be increasing significantly. Or is that just me?
16. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Fun activities with the kids. Taking more pictures and videos. (I might have to do the "One photo a day" thing this year. Days off just for me (I did take one, and it was HEAVENLY.)
17. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Gawd, bulk shopping at Costco. I was conned into my volunteer job for the school and I will NOT be doing it again next school year.
19. What was your favorite TV program?I fell in love with Parks and Rec this year. Especially the theme song.
20. What were your favorite books of the year?
I didn't read too many, but The Hunger Games series wins, hands-down.
21. What was your favorite music from this year?
I'm certain I don't listen to any current music.
22. What were your favorite films of the year?
No idea. We loved Inception (was that new in 2011?), The Help, The King's Speech (2011?) Deathly Hallows 2 (2011?)... I can't remember any others.
27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.
Sometimes you're just going to have to sweat a little.
Cookies are allowed, you're not a bad person for eating them.
Musicals make me happy.
Keep putting money in the savings account because you never know.
Wednesday, December 28
And now for a dash of...
My mom was sitting at the kitchen table while I measured and mixed, and my dad came up behind me right when I needed the vanilla extract. I said, "Let me just get the vah-neee-yuh..." to him, and Mom cracked up. Evidently that is the very same way she always says "vanilla" (french pronunciation, of course) when she is baking. I never even knew I did that, but we laughed and laughed over shared genes and funny habits.
I love moments like that. Like when my sister and I respond to something with the same phrase, at the same time, with the exact same tone and inflection.
First a snotty comment, and then a Christmas recap
-------
Whoosh, and it's over. That's the main reason I wish the commercial world didn't spend so much time, starting the very moment the Thanksgiving turkey is packed in its Ziploc bags, counting down until Christmas. It's definitely out of balance with the ONE DAY that is Christmas, itself.
Don't get me wrong, Christmas Day was wonderful. And... well, back up: December 23rd was lovely before that. First, Mom, KT and I shopped for one additional set of gifts, just us girls out on the town looking at cheap jewelry. What fun! We met the boys for lunch that day at my favorite Mexican place which could only have been better with margaritas -- but I didn't want to get too sleepy/useless before 1:00 pm! That night we celebrated with a nice, lonnnnng dinner party at my cousin's home. Plenty of wine, good stories, good music, Brie and crackers (what could be better than that??) and lots of little 2nd cousins running around in the basement, playing happily together. THAT felt like Christmas. Don't you just crave holiday time spent with family like that? Even if it's a hassle, or lasts a little too far into the night. It's just part of the holiday and if we don't have it, I don't feel quite right.
December 24th we made our dressing to get ahead for Christmas Day dinner, and baked some more cookies, as we had somehow run out already! (How, I wonder...?) I can't remember the other details -- except I did take a NAP, in my BED (heaven!) -- but I know by 9:00 p.m. we were watching Christmas Vacation (the kids, too), and I was getting dressed to go to Midmight Mass and the choral extravaganzaaaa! Just kidding. It wasn't extravagant. The choral prelude to Midnight Mass was good... I do hope we moved someone's heart who might have been looking for a little spiritual, musical uplift. We didn't have to sing any schlock like we did last year (choral version of an Amy Grant song, gag, and I love A.G., just not like that), so I was pleased. By the end of the night... er, morning... I had nearly lost my voice, which might indicate to you that I sing incorrectly on my chords, rather than in the focal place in my head... but that is not true. And by the way, why is it that I always seem to get sick on Christmas Eve?? I am so over that and may tell Santa next year that is my one and only wish.
Anyway, FINALLY, let me tell you about Christmas Day being wonderful: We were awoken with the PERFECT excited whispering of a 3-year-old: "MOMMY! WAKE UP!! SANTA CAME!!!" I hope I never forget it. She had an exclamation point in her throat! The kids were so good and patient, waiting for all of us SLOW adults to get our pants on and go to the potty before stumbling down the stairs together. They loved their gifts. We unwrapped in a frenzy. We got the big garbage bag out to keep the mess to a minimum. We had ham and egg casserole and apple muffins for breakfast. Then we went to a not-crowded 10:45 am Mass together, I really DID lose my voice before the last hymn, and we spent the rest of the day putting together the perfect meal, in perfectly timed choreography (somehow!) -- and I just loved it all, even the hand-washing and drying of the Lenox Holiday plates afterwards.
(Here's what we ate: Cajun-fried turkey, sausage dressing, cranberry jelly, sweet potato casserole, these biscuits from Pinterest!, and steamed broccoli with red peppers. We had White Zin to drink and the kids had applesauce on the side because I wanted to be sure they ate something. (Darn kids don't even like sweet potato casserole w/marshmallows?!) For dessert a couple of hours later, we had Cherries Jubiliee over coffee ice cream... or just ice cream for those who don't DO cherries. I also had two STRONG hot toddies that my Dad made me, and they CURED my throat, by golly! I love hearing other people's holiday menus - what did you have?)
We have played and played. So far the favorites have been AJ's Lego sets and Megazords, KT's Lite Brite, and her new Rapunzel dolls and Barbie clothes. She and I have spent lots of time doing fashion shows, spread out on the new sleeping bag in the living room, changing Barbies' clothes and combing and combing and combing Rapunzel's hair.
Thursday, December 22
Just what I wanted
• Leisurely breakfast/Christmas cartoons (Dora, unfortunately, which we're also watching again today)
• Colored wooden Christmas ornaments with markers. And listened to Christmas music, OBVS. We could have done this with paint, but washable Crayola markers satisfied AJ and KT just FINE, so why stress myself out?!
• Went out to get AJ's hair cut
• Came home for lunch, ate it and cleaned up, then
• Made Reindeer Sugar cookies with M&M noses and pretzel antlers -- so fun!
• Watched The Polar Express again; it has been the movie of the year at our house, and the other day I learned AJ wants the book for Xmas... Well guess what? Santa already thought of that! Feeling smug.
• played I guess...and I started hand-washing my crystal wine glasses, which is one of my favorite things to do. I know at one point AJ got bored, and I suggested activity books or reading, to which he probably rolled his eyes, but finally it was time to go to his jiu jitsu class.
Then we came home and had dinner (DH was home) and ...the end. There was no fighting, and very little whining, and I wasn't restless, either. It was so nice to be with my sweeties and enjoy some of the magic and quiet and fun of the days before The Big Day.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Tuesday, December 20
Pre-planning for Christmas 2011
I was on my feet all day but it was good.
Today I have cleaned the kitchen even though it's not nearly the end of the Christmas production cycle, made a special, traditional snack to surprise my parents with, when they arrive Thursday, and planned my dinner menu. I listened to Christmas music -- Sugarland's Gold and Green album, which I didn't realize is SO GOOD! I love you, Kristian Bush; and Harry Connick Jr, of course -- and talked to my parents on the phone. Hope we haven't used up all the topics so we have plenty to chat about when they get here!
I'm headed out in a little while to get a haircut, take some things to the cleaners (I hope they'll be done before Thursday or Friday), and drop off a wayward toy to Toys for Tots. Apparently they're low on the turnout this year so I feel good about donating it, even thought it was a duplicate for which I could get back my $35... but some boy somewhere will enjoy it.
The kids are at school today. One of them is having his class party, and the other will miss hers, but I think she's still young enough that she won't notice or care. I miss them, but I'm SO glad I've had this time to get our house, and myself, ready for the wonderful week ahead. I love Christmas, and I love having it at my house. (When I'm not feeling stressed about having it at my house, that is.) I'm not stressed at this moment.
I'm grateful, and happy. The stockings are hung. The Santa picture is framed (our first year with both kids unafraid of him). I think I'm about ready.
Tuesday, December 13
Sinking Spell
As a general rule I am NOT on board with the iced drinks at S'bux -- at least not in the morning. If I see the arm of the barista shoot out the drive-thru window toward the car in front of me, during the morning commute/pit stop, and if that arm is holding something frothy with a straw in a CLEAR cup, I get very eye-roll-y. I don't believe that's legitimate "morning coffee."
But during an afternoon shopping trip? Or after school? Or during a sinking spell? Yes, please. It Especially in the South, where it's too hot for hot coffee, anyway. It harkens those days I mentioned to my high school friend on FB, when Barnie's at the mall was the only coffee option -- they were cool before coffee was
I will also need the boost tonight, because I am planning a 9:00 pm gift-buying trip to Target, which is open until midnight in my location, woot woot! I think it will wrap everything up (har har!) that I need for the kiddos, and most of my other relatives, as well. (Everytime I mention Target by name, I think about the very first time I ever went to one, in Dallas, I believe, to buy either a trash can or a new kitty litter box with my Mom. It must have been when we were in transit, moving to Florida, and spending the night with my grandparents in Dallas. No idea why I remember this, ever so vaguely; I don't even remember last week.)
Wednesday, December 7
Positive Mental Attitude...
But then I remembered planning the MEAL. And the days leading up to it! Oh, hey, I am hosting Christmas! It's JUST my parents and us, no big deal... but it IS a big deal because I want there to be nice meals (or at least put-together meals and not KFC takeout!), and memmmmories. Then I remembered teacher gifts for KT's teachers (what are their names, again?). I need to get my baking started and give those gifts out EARLY -- to neighbors, coworkers, etc.
Still, I don't want to feel the stress. I banish it! Away, stress! So I'm trying my best to workout. I started the Couch to 5K program and I completed Week 1. I did my first run for Week 2 today. It's going really well and man, does exercise ever help in keeping mental stress at bay! It really does, I've been amazed by that. (Biology/chemistry... it works!) I was all sweaty and winded an hour ago after running (haha, I mistyped "funning!"), but I felt GREAT! Happy! I might even say Awesome!
PLUS, I have two full days all to myself on the 19th and 20th, before the kids (AJ) is off for vacation or my guests arrive, and I am so thrilled about those two days! I will make them extra productive. (And I will workout during them, too!) Positive, positive, positive.
The one sad situation is that I canNOT find a babysitter for December the tenth. My DH's company is having a small holiday soiree at a friend's home -- a friend I used to also work with daily, and dearly love -- and there is also a party for Le Choir that night, so it'd be really super nice to be able to go to both of those events. Even though I have nothing to wear (well, I have a dress but no BOOTS). Sad state of affairs. See, most of my church friends with teenage daughters -- backup babysitters when the main one is unavailable -- are from Le Choir, and so they and possibly their teens will be at the choir party -- or babysitting their siblings. I have about one other person I could ask. And I shall.
Anyway, yesterday I got a good chunk of Santa stuff finished, TONIGHT I am ordering my cards, and all will be well. All will be well.
Tuesday, December 6
Playing Santa, KT edition
KT's wish list includes:
"Big Rapunzel doll"
"Mommy's Baby," she calls it, and AJ clarifies she means "My Very Real Baby." After looking it up, I'm torn because she already has a doll that looks very similar to this one, and the thing costs $70! I'm thinking no.
"Rapunzel Castle with all the princesses."
I love 3-year-olds.
I had planned these things for her:
*Tangled Reusable Sticker Book
*Tangled Soundtrack CD
*Tangled playset (Rapunzel, Flynn, horse)
*Tangled/Rapunzel Barbie
Sleeping bag -- she's been using AJ's Spiderman one all this time and she likes Spiderman, but I thought it'd be nice for her to have one of her very own
Necklace (not expensive, but "real" jewelry)
Doll cradle
Amelia Bedelia books? -- there is a series of "younger" Amelia Bedelia books now (since she's still just a little too young to get the jokes in the original books)
Hair bows/headbands
Barbie clothes
Rapunzel princess (dress-up) dress
"Big Rapunzel" doll
*already purchased
For her stocking, I got her a "shimmer" lotion at Bath & Body Works, and I think I'm going to stick a bottle of "No More Tangles" in there, too. Heh. More for me than for her! What else? Besides gum, of course - I have to give my KT some gum!
It's so much fun to play Santa! Except that Santa better get ON IT; He has a lot left to do! I might try to go to TRU today at lunchtime.
Monday, December 5
Off-topic
A task of comparing the Christmas list *I* had made for 7yo AJ, with the list he, himself, wrote out for Santa last week:
MY LIST
*Thundercats Action Figures (Tygra, WilyKit, Panthro, Cheetara, Lino-O, Mumra) 4"
*Thundercats Thunder Tank
*Captain Underpants book series
*new (Shaun White) wallet
Sleeping bag
Camera?
Lemonade Mouth CD?
Claw megazord
Pokemon binder
Mindflex Duel game
(he's mentioned a couple of DS games but I can't remember which ones now)
For both:
A puzzle to share (maybe a 100-piece? To work on as a family or something?)
Ice cream maker (for the family?)
*are already purchased
HIS LIST
Nintendo 3DS (he is not getting this no matter how much he begs)
Pokemon Rumble Blast game for the the 3DS (or maybe the regular DS? Which he has?)
Power Rangers Samruai Claw magazord (WOO! A match!!)
Pokemon Trading Card Game: Victini box (what?)
Kirby: Return to Dream Land (for the Wii)
Kirby: Mass attack for the DS
MarioKart 7 for the 3DS
Radakai: Championship Tin (seriously, MORE trading cards??)
Pokemon: Unova Region Playset
Pokemon: Catch, Launch, Battle (no idea what this means)
Yahtzee Flash game
So. Sort of a bummer that we already BOUGHT all the Thundercats action figures. We went through a family surge of watching the new version of that cartoon on Friday nights back in August. And then in October, his interest disappeared into the ether and the DVR'd episodes sit there in our list of recordings, uselss.
Some of the things I've got on my list can easily be stocking stuffers (the CD, the wallet). I still think I want to get him the (non-character) sleeping bag and the camera. Those are things I suspect will be enjoyed and appreciated long-term. And the trading card tins aren't expensive. But I don't know; they don't seem that exciting, to come from SANTA. Do they? Then again, I'm not a 7yo boy. But man, if I add that wish list up, it's more than Santa's elves make in tips, I can tell you that. ;)
And, haha, aren't I quaint (delusional), thinking a 100-pice PUZZLE would be fun for everyone?
Wednesday, November 30
Thanksgiving recap
We're deep in it -- we're looking for our Elf on the Shelf every morning, the tree is up, and I've been to Michael's twice already. Doesn't get a whole lot more Christmas-y than that.
Anyway, let me tell you about our Thanksgiving, because it was really nice. We went to DH's parents' house in Savannah, and had dinner at 1:30! One! I never knew the position of the clock could make such a difference, but I'm here to tell you IT CAN. I think the one o'clock hour is the perfect time, actually. At 1:30, the parade had just finished. I hadn't had time to think "Gosh, I'm hungry," yet. I hadn't had time to wish there was a cheese ball and some Wheat Thins out on the table (or to stuff myself with them before dinner even started). I had had a Coke Zero to tide me over. The kids were playing nicely. My BIL and SIL arrived. At 1:30, it was lunchtime. A logical time to eat.
We finished around 2:30 I guess, did the dishes, and had time to chill out for a bit. At 4:00 I was ready for my pie (apple, a la mode). Then at 6:30 it was the perfect time for a turkey sandwich! Ta-da! See how that worked out?
On Friday, we took off to the beach! One thing we never take advantage of in Savannah is the fact that it's on the coast. We're usually not there long enough to make a day of it with swimsuits and buckets and the whole ordeal. But this time, since it wasn't swimming weather anyway, I just wanted to go out there and SEE it. There's a huge public pier, where the kids RAN all the way to the end, chasing pigeons and seagulls (just like in the movies). Then there's the flat sand of the beach, stretching for days. We collected handfuls of (broken) seashells, perfect in the kids' eyes, and AJ even pulled up his pants legs to wade in the Atlantic. KT wanted to "dig for pirate treasure." I can't resist sharing a photo. I loved breathing in the salty air, and I'm just not sure there's anything more restorative than a sunny day near the water, you know? It seemed to bring out the best in all of us. Especially afterwards, when we stopped at a little hamburger dive for a cheap lunch on their patio, complete with giant chocolate ice cream cones. I really feel like we made happy memories that day.
On Saturday, we set out on our own without the grandparents, who had some other tasks to attend to. I hated to miss out on time with them, but I was also happy to have a little time just to ourselves. Historic Downtown, of course, is where all the tourist action is, so we forked over a lot of cash to ride on a horse-drawn carriage through brick-lined streets and statues. I remember visiting lots of museums and historic sites when I was a kid -- in Austin, Natchez, Vicksburg, New Orleans, New Mexico, old Mexico! and Springfield, IL, among others -- and I think our kids are old enough now to get the educational benefit from that kind of thing. It was awesome. AJ sat up front with the driver and felt all special. KT managed to stop talking (mostly) and let the tour guide tell her dumb jokes. And we had lunch afterwards. (I am pretty sure the key to my personal enjoyment is scheduling these things right around 11, so we can have lunch after. Clearly, french fries are important to me deep down in my heart.)
We drove home Saturday night, after dinner. (Leftovers for the win!) That somehow felt special, too. A last hurrah, or something. The hectic pace of packing up. The kids running from BIL who tickled them without ceasing. (Something which I could seriously complain about... but... whatever. They seem to enjoy it. To the point of SCREAMING a lot. Sigh.) And we were so glad to skip dumb metro traffic on Sunday.
All in all, I'd say it was a near-perfect holiday.
Tuesday, November 22
Turnaround
I started today in such a Bad Mood. Once again, I was awakened in the dead of night (4:00 am) by a little girl who needed comfort, or someone to talk to, or just to be reminded that all was okay. I was not very gracious about this, though at first I really did try to be. She is suffering a bit of a cold, and was swampy with coughing and sniffles. I could tell she was hot (she insists on wearing fleece jammies even though it’s been an unseasonable 74 degrees most days lately) and I worried it was an actual fever. So some children’s Tylenol was dispensed, we both made trips to the potty, and I hoped for another 2 good hours of rest for us both.
It was not to be. I got more and more mad as the minutes ticked by. The whispering, “Is it six-oh-oh yet?” questions, the light going on in her bedroom, the panting I could hear her doing next to my face as she watched to see if I was awake yet, the four-times getting her covers messed up and needing me to fix them, tissues, water, and then the dog, too, licking the carpet incessantly which I cannot stand, even in the light of day. I threw back my own covers several times, DH did the same and threatened through clenched teeth to deposit someone back in her OWN ROOM by the time he got to THREE… it just wasn’t a pretty way to start the day.
Naturally she fell back to sleep at 5:55 a.m. I hated to wake her then, but will admit to having at least one vengeful feeling about it.
I spent the morning stewing. Not about KT, but about other things. Stress about impending holidays. Things I don’t like about my job. Coworkers who Won’t. Shut. Up. in the 8:00 hour when I’m still trying to ease into things and have my coffee. I worked myself right into a little hissy fit, in my mind. (Tired, perhaps?)
And then I went to KT’s school for the class Thanksgiving feast.
It wasn’t even that special, to be honest. The teachers must be tired this time of year, because they weren’t chipper or very welcoming at all. The 4 of us parents who made it sort-of wandered around while the kids played, and we waited for the food to be ready. There were no construction-paper pilgrim hats or Indian feathers, no singing of any songs or reciting of any Gobble-Gobble poetry. (Come on, school! Are you kidding me?) But the happiness on my little one’s face, watching me watch her with her friends, was so palpable. She was proud to show me her table, willing to eat her food, and appropriately taken aback when I asked her if could I please stay and take a nap with her, on her mat?! (“You are too big for my mat, Mommy, that’s silly!”)
Such a simple thing. It wasn’t a forced counting of blessings, even – we didn’t give thanks for the meal – but I came back to my office wanting to make a better effort at not being so angry. What was it? Getting to play with kids for 30 minutes, unhindered by time constraints or my own agenda? Sitting on a miniature red chair? Maybe the challenge of talking with three-year-olds whose language is different from my own daughter's was a brain exercise that cleared away all the other gunk? Or, just seeing someone I love dearly, in the middle of the day? Being reminded of how fast it all goes by?
I’m unsure. But pretty darn grateful.
Thursday, November 17
And then, other times...
...and we wake up and she's all kisses and cuddles and the very best, most wonderful parts of three-and-a-half.
Just so you know.
Wednesday, November 16
Fighting nature
Last night she was particularly awful to me, and I just honestly didn't want to be with her.
I think of all the moms and dads in the world a lot, lately, and how we all have to fight battles like these. I pray for them sometimes, people I don't know, especially the moms, and their independence-testing little ones. This job can be so, so hard.
I'm okay. And she's okay. I'm not sad today or feeling despicable. But I am tired of the fighting. I really can't wait for the hard parts to pass, and I can only hope that some of the love and attempted calm is getting through to her.
Tuesday, November 15
Checkbook... Games
How does your household handle the bills? Does one person own the task or do you share it? We try to switch off, so that one person handles them one month, and then it's the other's turn. We pay most things online through our bank, but still write a check here or there and -- get this -- still keep a paper check register along WITH our Quicken file. I guess it makes us feel in control? Or gives us a backup in case of a computer apocalypse? It's a pain, really, but I can't imagine not keeping it. (My greatest challenge is to keep my handwriting neat enough that it can be read!) We both "turn in" our daily debit receipts to the central billing location, and then once a week the person who's managing bills that month sits down to enter everything in, and pay what's due. I think it's a good system because neither of us is in the dark, but I'm interested in hearing how other families do it. Last night I told myself I could have a glass of wine ONLY when I sat down at the computer. It worked. :)
In related news, do you think our generation will even get to retire? I have serious doubts.
Okay, moving on: The Hunger Games, people. Requisite disclaimer: I'm the last person on earth. But I can't believe how fast I read this book, and how the characters have infiltrated my mind. I find myself thinking "Katniss Everdeen" all the time -- just her name. It's so pretty, surprisingly so. All the names, really, intrigue me. And I picture her shooting something with her bow and arrow, and think of little Rue and how I imgined her... then yesterday Twitter was talking about the movie trailer, so I had to go watch it, and WOW. The mood is exactly how I've been feeling. Despondent, kind-of, that such Games could possibly exist (even just in the author's mind) and that the Capitol could DARE to wish those poor kids favorable odds. But utterly fascinated at the idea of Panem. It is CRAZY. I bought Catching Fire immediately.
Monday, November 14
She even stayed in it, the first night...
Thursday, November 10
Justifiable
Here are some things I need to buy this weekend. I have been putting them off for various reasons, but we're about to reach the tipping point on some of them.
- KT's new bed. Still.
- New uniforms for my high-waters-wearin' AJ (hooray, he's growing!).
- Haircuts for both kids.
- Bulk food for my school-volunteer postion at Costco. Have I explained this? I was basically handed this job, and told that it would be SO EASY. Every 2 weeks, I go to Costco to buy 360 snack-packs of Oreos, 480 string cheeses (an entire case from the refigerated section), and plates/napkins/bowls/lunchbags for the school cafeteria. (It's not a working cafeteria, but the parents bring in food 3 days a week from various local eateries, which the kids can purchase). It's an interesting exercise, pushing around a big, orange pallet instead of a grocery cart, and I never fail to get comments as I go by with my 30 boxes of Oreos. People seem to forget that Costco is made for BULK purchases, it is not just your general supermarket. I'm trying to come up with clever retorts for "Whoa, that's a lot of Oreos!"
- Yeah, just trying to prevent people like you from getting too much trans-fat.
- We make a lot of "dirt cakes" at our house; I'm headed for the gummy worms aisle, next.
- This isn't a lot. You should see my storage facility back at the commune.
- Ever heard of hoarding, mister?? It's a disease, you should probably pray for me.
Friday, November 4
My manager just stared at my screen for 5 full minutes
Happy Friday, people! It's been an "off" week, with Halloween on Monday night, hasn't it? Or was that just me? I don't know, I've felt like I'm tripping over my feet every day, not really remembering AJ's homework assignments and which days they're due, not having my usual lunchtime errands for birthday parties or volunteer-school-activities, and being out Monday night made the rest of the 4 days seem unplanned. Or something. I've also been s...l...o...w...l...y getting sick, which has been ANNOYING. Monday night after the candy madness, I got a really weird case of the shivers. I did hang out in the 50-degree temperatures for 2 hours-ish passing out candy and trick or treating, but the shivers happened after we came in and I'd been under my blankie for another hour. When we went upstairs to bed, I got the shakes and could. not. stop. It made brushing my teeth difficult. My lips looked gray/blue in the mirror. After DH did his best to hug them out of me, I bundled up and got into bed, slept well and very warm. The same thing happened on Tuesday night, but not quite so dramatically; I was just cold. Wednesday I felt mostly better. Thursday (yesterday) I had a headache. And last night and this morning, my throat has been sporting that tell-tale, pinpoint place of sore, where it hurts to swallow. I'd rather just have an all-out SICK DAY and call it done. This dragggggging on is driving me crazy (mostly because I'm not sick enough to just REST, I still have to DO STUFF)!
Bleh. It SURE makes for an interesting blog post, doesn't it?! Don't answer that.
When I went shopping with KT a few weeks ago, I let her/us buy a little bag of peach gummy rings as a treat. You know, they're made by the Jelly Belly company, and are orange and white with a sugar coating? They're so delicious and artificial-peachy. I haven't been able to get the taste out of my mind since then. They KEEP popping up in my memory! I wouldn't say they're my favorite candy, either -- just one that made a particular impression on me that day, I guess. My FAVORITE fruity candy is probably Jolly Ranchers, which I rarely buy, followed by original Skittles and Charms Blow-Pops. At work, we recently discovered some hard candies by Crystal Light, so they're sugar-free. I approve of those, too. It's fun having different kinds of candy in the house this week, I have to say -- normally we only keep M&Ms on-hand (old habit from the potty-training days, I guess, and for emergency chocolate needs). But the candy buckets are disappearing after this weekend.
I finally read The Namesake by Jumpha Lahiri, that Sherry lent me about THREE years ago. (I'm done now, Sherry!) It was quite good. I enjoy books where the main characters grow from children into adults, and this book did that in such a way it made me think about my own life cycle, and that death is part of that, and it's okay, and life goes on, and all those deep things. It's about a family of American immigrants from India and of course the colorful culture made it that much more interesting, but I think the story was really about family relationships and the timespan was exactly my lifespan (so far) -- I had the feeling that the main character was 37, just like me, at the end of the book -- and I liked that. I also enjoyed that it had a lot to do with his name, and his nickname, because I think that's such an important aspect of people's identities. Apparently it's even moreso in Indian families. The only other feeling I had of the book was that it was slightly sad, or maybe just grey. I think this was the main character's mood the majority of the book, actually. So if you need a lift, this may not be the book for you, but if you want something interesting and life-mirroring, then I recommend it.
It's hard to review books, isn't it? I know Swistle always says, "I liked it, but I didn't like it, and I recommend it, but I also DON'T." I'm feeling that very same thing right now. Next on my list is THE HUNGER GAMES, hooray!! Perhaps I'll recover from this stupid cold this weekend, in my bed, reading.
Friday, October 28
Prescription filled
It was an enormous gift, that simple day. Enormous.
Friday, October 21
Bed Time
Think....
Think...
Ermmmm....
This is not going so well, is it? Of course I'm scattered because of the lack of sleep... two nights in a row, there's been an interloper in my bed. Gosh, I love that girl, but she's killing me softly. It'd be fine if she just came in and went to sleep, but she comes in and wants to chit-chat.
Last night it was [stage whisper] "Mommy! Help me find my CHAPTER BOOK." I had given her one at bedtime, because she was requesting a Chapter Book. "Like AJ's," she specified, "No pictures." I tried handing her an old copy of "Little House on the Prairie" -- refused. Picutres. I tried a paperback "Nate the Great" from AJ's bookshelf. Refused. So you know what I gave her? Salman Rushdie. "Haroun and the Sea of Stories." (Which is excellent, if you've never read it.) She was satisfied with that one and went to bed with it.
Evidently, it walked off sometime before 4:00 am.
We suspect the solution could be so simple, in getting her a new big girl bed and pretty new covers that she'll adore (I'm leaning toward a full-size, even though in her tiny bedroom, she really needs a lofted bed in order to preserve any sort of play-space). It feels like in order to get a new bed, we'll have to immediately redecorate the whole room. I want an armoire, new bookshelves, new toy storage... But I know I should just get the bed. At least then if she needs someone to sleep with, there will be room for two people in her own bed, or an empty bed for me to retreat into
I've tried to look at furniture online, but I end up looking at Pottery Barn Kids photos, when I should be looking at plain mattress photos. And I'd love to create a room from shabby-chic and DIY and antiqued pieces that I spruce up with my own creativity and spray paint, but... I get stifled and discouraged by the idea of doing it all at once, which would be pretty impossible. But maybe if I just start with a mattress/box springs, and a comforter from the french boutique, Target, I can take the decor part a little more slowly.
So perhaps this first task will be prioritized here in the next few days. Like, perhaps tomorrow. Mom, I think you and I will be making a stop at the local mattress store during our Saturday shopping.
Tuesday, October 18
For Cayt, and for being a follower! The Silly Accent Vlog
Here are the instructions:
Say the following words: Aunt, route, wash, oil, theatre, iron, salmon, caramel, fire, water, sure, data, ruin, crayon, toilet, New Orleans, pecan, both, again, probably, spitting image, Alabama, lawyer, coupon, mayonnaise, syrup, pajamas, caught
And answer these questions:
What is it called when you throw toilet paper on a house?
What is the bug that curls into a ball when you touch it?
What is the bubbly carbonated drink called?
What do you call gym shoes?
What do you say to address a group of people?
What do you call the kind of spider that has an oval-shaped body and extremely long legs?
What do you call your grandparents?
What do you call the wheeled contraption in which you carry groceries at the supermarket?
What do you call it when rain falls while the sun is shining?
What is the thing you use to change the TV channel?
p.s. I forgot "ruin." But I say, "roo-in," not "run," as some of my friends do. I actually love when I hear an authentic, "ruint." I even have a Mississsippi friend who jokes and says, "rur-nt." HAAAAA!
p.s.s. I don't say, "see-rup," what was I thinking? I realized after watching this a few times, and going BACK to re-watch Arwen's, again (and others' too... obsessed much???), that I had told HER in her comments, that I couldn't IMAGINE saying "see-rup," that "suh-rup" was the ONLY WAY. So I'm feeling the need to atone for and apologize for this grave mistake.
Monday, October 17
Monday the 17th
Yatt is telling me about her trip to Urgent Care last week (Friday), after she had spent the day hacking up a lung just on the other side of my cube wall. She evidently had infected tonsils and a fever of 101. Awesome. Where is my hand sanitizer? Every time she coughed last week, I squirted my hands. I wasn't having direct contact with her hands, and I know hand gel can't stop the contagions from flying around through the cube walls into my AIR, but... instinct, I guess. I should have remembered the Lysol spray this morning.
Our weekend was deliciously calm. Both days, we emplyed Divide and Conquer -- AJ and DH to jiu jitsu, and KT and I to Bed Bath and Beyond. (I shopped! For fun, decorative stuff!) In the afternoon, the kids played with the neighbors outside while DH mowed, and I vacuumed inside. I didn't mind! I was GLAD to get the house cleaned up! No one was whining for me to hold them or play with them! Then the babysitter came over, and DH and I went to a new (to us) restaurant, and to see The Help. What a movie. Loved it. It was as good as the book, no question. The casting was brilliant. Sunday was Mass, then the boys went to watch a football game and KT had a birthday party to attend. Afterwards, she crashed on the couch and I got to READ! And do 25 minutes of exercise, which was lovely!
So, another Monday begins this busy workweek. I'm so excited to see my parents on Thursday -- they're coming in to help us with AJ's "fall break," which isn't billed as such but is a 4-day weekend for the students. Us parents are held hostage by having to attend Parent-Teacher Conferences on Friday. There are guests in the office today (ugh) and I have lots of errands to do on lunch breaks. I'm thankful for:
- Time to tend our home, and space to let the kids run.
- A cartful (not a buggy) of groceries last night at 9:30, even though I wish I could cut down on the cost (coupons?).
- Joy in our singing at Mass yesterday, despite some fun(ny) drama!
- Time with my husband Saturday night, just to sit near each other and share an appetizer, and be.
- A delicious cup of coffee. Well, okay, 3 cups. :)
Wednesday, October 12
Notes from an Introvert Mom
- Am I the only one who hates Halloween costume parties? Bleeerrrggg. I mean, seriously, I WINCE at the thought of dressing up and then having to also make polite conversation with people. (I am hoping for some rah-rah enthusiasm from all of you other Internet-shy-introverted-and hate to make phone calls types.) It's weird because I was such a theater-nerd in high school -- I LIVED to dress up and play a character. But... no more. I've got invitations to two "Costumes Required" parties, both on the same night, unfortunately; they are people I would like to socialize with, but *whiiiiiine* not wearing extra eye-liner and wrinkled polyester! What to do...? If you DO like dressing up, what was your very best costume idea as an adult?
- We had KT's first Parent-Teacher Conference this morning. (Three year old preschool!) We haven't loved her teacher thus far -- she has NOT seemed as warm and loving as some of the previous teachers we've loved, although I've been somewhat willing to give her the benefit of the doubt, seeing as how she SPENDS HER ENTIRE DAY WITH FIFTEEN 3-Year-olds. Perhaps I would not be all sunshine and rainbows at the end of those days (or the beginning, frankly, either) if I were in her position.
However, the conference went well and she said some very nice things about my girl. She's a leader. She is very social, very emotionally aware, proud of her work, very creative, and very smart. She is writing her name without help, except for a little help with the "K." She is able to count from 1 to 39. She recognizes all the letter sounds and letters. She is starting to learn patterns in "math." She can draw the 3yo version of a person (head, arms, legs -- and she adds hands and feet!) She is a talker -- both in knowing the answers to questions, and in never shutting up. They said it's just part of being THREE, but that they also do envision future report cards with "Talks too much in class." I'm told the teacher has had to resort to "KT, Zip It!" when she just won't stop.
Monday, October 10
Tangled and Teary
Friday, October 7
Craving creativity
Well, okay, I'm partly motivated because KT needs a new big-girl bedOMGsheisstillsleepinginourroommostnights. Partly. Motivated. !! But Pinterest helps. I mean, you just see such adorable things there, many of which don't look hard, but require some time and effort.
I get hung up on that part, the time and effort part. But I think, "Well, Lee, if you really WANT IT, go out and GET IT." Isn't that the theme of our generation? Pshaw, you don't have time. Make the time. I have been thinking, if I'd just SAY on a Saturday, "I'm going to Michael's (or the antique store, or wherever) and then this afternoon I am going to paint something...." I have very little project-gumption, I guess, but I would like to have more. And if I want to do these kinds of things -- if they would make me happy (ier), I should definitely fit them in, right?
The other thing I love about Pinterest is that fact that I'm adding some visual beauty to my days. Even if it's just on my little iPhone screen, I'm enjoying seeing pretty things more often. Because I don't subscribe, unfortunately, to Architectural Digest like my elegant Mom did when she was my age. :)
I need a small, achievable something to get me started, and this one seems like the perfect thing. It would be lover-ly in pinks and greens and lilacs and maybe a brown and a white, in KT's big-girl room, wouldn't it?? I am excited and hope to buy the supplies soon.
Wednesday, October 5
Art History, and my idea for a Music Project
We learned "Whistler's Mother" and "Still Life with Peppermint Bottle." I remember many of the works vividly; others not so much, but I can certainly identify styles and guess at who might've painted something, if I see it in a museum or book. I never took Art History 101 in college, which I do regret, but I still feel like I have a healthy basic knowledge, and that serves my humanities-leaning soul (?) well.
I recently had the idea to adapt the Art History plan for Music Literature, for my own kids.
There are certain works I would like them to recognize. Things that are obvious to me when they come on the radio: The Nutcracker Suite. Beethoven's 5th. Baroque period vs. Romantic. Aaron Copland! Granted, my kids are smaller right now than we were during our Art History lessons, but with music, it's never too early to start seeping it into their little ears!
They already listen to their own CDs when going to bed (only until the CD ends; I don't keep it on all night or anything) -- AJ's into kid-pop and has some Justin Bieber, some I Don't Even Know Who Else, China Anne Somebody or other? and some other tunes he picked out. KT's listening to a Disney compilation at the moment or sometimes Laurie Berkner. I want them to continue to choose their own music at times, too, but I am thinking that at dinnertime, maybe one or two nights a week, I'll just casually turn on a CD of Debussy's Children's Corner, or The Nutcracker, or Rodeo by Aaron Copland, and let it play while we eat. I might or might not make namecards for the composers, and set them up (casually!) on the kitchen counter while those songs play.
I'm so excited about this and have played the Debussy a couple of times already (they're enjoying the feel of the words "Golliwogs' Cake Walk" on their tongues when I tell them the name and they repeat it back to me).
I'm going to have to get on iTunes because I know I threw out the one (cheap) Nutcracker CD I had, years ago (the orchestration was not up to par - I think it was a reader's digest version, y'know? Not the real deal). And my classical collection is lacking in several other departments.
AJ has remained uninterested in piano lessons, much to my dismay. I hope I can convince (or force?) KT to take them, but until then, I'm happy to start them off with a little music appreciation.
Friday, September 30
Update...
(The final report: it's a type of fracture that heals in just 3 weeks. Yay! He talked the ears off the orthopaedics staff, and chose a blue cast.)
Thursday, September 29
Rite of Passage
Our news this week is interesting, at least: AJ has fractured his right arm. Years from now I might want to remember it (I guess?) and it probably deserves a spot in the proverbial online “baby book,” though I think the pages in traditional baby books run out before age 7. Anyway, he was playing, at home – he loves to try to do “frog-stand,” and maybe this was what he was attempting to do – and he fell off KT’s bed, catching himself with two hands and two stiff arms… one of which went, “Pop.” Auditorally, it was a small pop, like cracking a knuckle. But already in my memory of it (2 short days ago), it’s gotten louder and…crunchier. How does the brain do that?
I am leaving the office in 20 minutes to take him to the Children’s Orthopaedics. I am anxious to finally hear from a doctor myself, since DH is the one who got to take him to Urgent Care the other night, and he has taken the follow-up calls (“Yes, it’s a fracture, now commence with the appointment-making and referral-getting. Have fun!”). I hope we get some actual details. Remind me to ask for doctor’s notes for Jiu Jitsu (we’ll get a little money back) and what he can and cannot do.
AJ, himself, is mostly handling it well. His mean mommy and daddy have made him go to school anyway. He hasn’t said we’re mean, but I feel – surprise –guilty about it. But yesterday he managed, and his friends took good care of him. I went to the school at noon and saw them on the playground, playing “Walk-Tag,” a game I think they made up in his honor. The four of them came walking up to me in a posse, and his buddies took turns telling what he had needed help with. So cute. Of course my main worry was had he gone to the restroom??! How is a kid supposed to unbuckle a belt and unfasten hook-and-eye pants with one (left) hand, I ask you? (He told me later he just didn’t go… all day.) I guess we’ll all figure out a way.
At dinner and bedtime last night, he was kinda weepy. He doesn’t like the splint, of course, and wants it OFF. (He won’t like a cast, either, if that’s what he gets today.) And I suspect he’s a little worried about how he’ll have ANY fun for the next 6 weeks, if it takes that long. The prospect of not playing his DS or Wii (hard to do with only one hand), no regular tag at recess, no trampoline jumping at the neighbors’ (ever again!!! Says Mean Mommy), no jiu jitsu, no bouncing on beds (ever again), no Daddy-wrestling…. I mean, I understand for a 7-year-old boy, this is pretty devastating. He had JUST learned a front flip on the trampoline, too.
On the other hand (heh), we’ve already promised to buy him a new set of Pokemon cards, and… there will probably be extra trips to get ice cream in his immediate future.
Friday, September 23
Rain last night
I've always liked storms -- not that they don't sometimes scare me, too. But since I was a child, I've sort-of enjoyed being awake, even if it's 2:00 in the morning. I think the unexpectedness of them is what makes them interesting. You just don't know when the next crack! is going to happen -- not even when the lightning gives warning. Could be 7 seconds later, could be right away. And Jennifer once wrote about how she prays in thanksgiving for her home, however modest, when it's coming down cats and dogs outside. YES. What a comfort to also hear the hum of the fridge or the AC cutting on, when outside all the "hum" is loudly interrupted with unpredictable fury (or even gentle drizzle). How thankful I am for our solid shelter. For a warm bed.
And for extra bodies sharing my pillow.
----------------------------------
(Of course, after a while I did have to move myself to AJ's room. There was a 3-year-old leg thrown over my neck.)
Wednesday, September 21
Grateful!@3
Yes, I'm making a concentrated effort to count my blessings for the next few days. Yes, I'm feeling better. But gratefulness is gooooood medicine, and you can never have too much.
- I made a roast in the crock pot (2-3 lb frozen roast, 1 onion cut up, 3/4c water + 1 envelope Onion Soup Mix. High for 6 hrs or Low for 8). It tasted just like my Grandmother used to make, and I made onion gravy and lima beans with rice to go with it. The only thing I forgot was spiced peaches. No one loved it but me (DH ate it willingly and said it was better than his Mom's), but I DON'T CARE. I am very grateful for Comfort Food.
- It's almost fall. I love the cooler weather, football, sweaters, the rain. It's coming soon and I'm going to revel in it.
- I'm grateful for my Integrated Management System. Ha! No, really, I've been reading a productivity book at work, and it, along with MS Outlook, is helping me organize my days a little more thoughtfully, which is obviously something I need. (Avoid Stress! Plan! You can Do It!)
- I'm grateful for a job. Like the Desiderata says, "It is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time." (No matter how grumpy it sometimes makes me.)
- I'm grateful for a husband who loves and accepts me, warts and all.
- I'm grateful for fun and cuddles last night with KT (Alice in Wonderland, playing mermaids in the bathtub, and Alexander & the Terrible...Day), even while she's being a 3.5-year-old pill these days. It will pass; I'm holding on to that and trying not to wish time away.
Monday, September 19
Some Pleasantries
We went out on Friday night; I decided without consulting anyone that Mexican Food Was Happening, and I guess everyone knew better than to complain, after my outburst. Well, that's not entirely true, KT complained a little, and pretty much refused to eat, but too bad for her. Margarita? Check. Spinach quesedilla? My new favorite. And otherwise, we had a normal weekend, both productive and relaxing. The weather was gorgeous, which is a renewal in itself. I laid down to read and essentially that turned into "went to bed," at 9:00 p.m. on Saturday night. We went for a walk on Sunday.
I still feel like I want to take a Personal Day from work, but it looks like I have called a meeting for this Friday (damn). The following Friday, AJ has the day off school. So I don't know what will happen, but I'd like to figure it out. I think I've only ever just played hooky one time in my 15 years of working; I mean, taking a day that wasn't a planned vacation or Christmas holidays, just a day for me. I'm picturing a leisurely morning with my coffee, a leisurely shopping trip by myself, a day free of cleaning or chores (unless I feel like it - sometimes cleaning is good for the soul), maybe a haircut. I suppose it doesn't have to be a Friday. Tonight is Book Club, and although I still don't really feel like being jolly, I am hopeful that by osmosis, the good friendships in front of me will fill me up.
Friday, September 16
Please, please pardon this extreme brain dump.
Times like THIS are how I simpley cannot fathom a single-parent-situation, because all I had to do was quiver like I was about to meltdown, and DH swooped in, shut KT's door, and took care of the situation while I childishly cried into a towel in my bathroom. I guess we all have our breaking point. AJ had been giving me the business earlier in the morning, because we didn't have his favorite breakfast item. "WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO THE STORE???!" he shouted at me. And that set me off.
IWORKSOHARDFORYOUANDALLIEVERGETISATTITUDE!ICANNOTGOTOTHESTOREEVERYDAYIWILLGIVEYOUAPIECEOFWHITEBREADANDSOMETEPIDWATERFORBREAKFAST,HOWWILLTHATBE????
Not to mention the dog crapping in the house TWICE in the morning, once AFTER I took him outside and he just doodled around sniffing things. Old dog, bless his heart. BUT OH MY LORD WITH THE POOPING.
Some of this started yesterday on Sparkpeople, when someone commented to me (because I was saying I haven't had time to workout) that my schedule is "insane." I've sometimes thought that, myself, on particularly busy weeks, but it kinda threw me for a loop to have someone else say it, because isn't my schedule just a NORMAL working mom with two kids kind of schedule? It has made me question nearly everything, and I guess that's what taken my emotions right off the rails. But I mean, what do you think about this kind of schedule? Objectively.
Monday
7:00 leave the house, drop off AJ
7:30 - 12 work
12 noon lunch with a friend (a rarity, I assure you)
1:30 - 4:30 work
5:00 pick up AJ, take him to his annual checkup
6:00 do homework, make dinner, etc... kids to bed, make lunches, watch TV and bed.
Tuesday
6:15 leave the house for my early day
6:30 - 11 work
11 - 11:30 drop off volunteer-job stuff at AJ's school; pop in to tell him he'll have to go to Aftercare b/c of an unexpected meeting
12-4 work (lunch was provided at work that day)
4:30 pick up AJ, homework, dinner...
6:30 boys leave for Cub Scouts
hang out with KT, etc. nighttime stuff
Wednesday
7:00 leave the house, drop off AJ
7:30 - 12 work
12 noon lunch out with my team (ran by the bank too)
1:30 - 4:30 work
5:00 pick up AJ, change his clothes, go to his jiu jitsu class
6:30 home, DH made dinner....
Thursday
6:15 leave the house for my early day
6:30 - 3:15 work (lunch at my desk, which I hate, but sometimes I have a lot of work to do, too)
3:30 pick up AJ, take him to school skating party, have no friends there, no one talks to me... (this was also a bit of an emotional glitch - when the skating rink feels the same at 37 as it did at 13... hrm.)
5:00 home, feeling guilty because KT isn't picked up yet but I need to get AJ home to do his homework before she's there to interrupt him
6:00 make dinner, listen to KT scream in complaint about not wanting what I'm making... eat my own dinner quickly because...
6:40 leave for choir practice -- which I can't decide if is another committment to stress me out, or "me-time" (I lean toward calling it me-time, but some days, especially Sundays, it feels like the opposite)
9:00 practice ends, go home, watch Project Runway, maybe help DH fold a few items from laundry... crash on the couch around 10....
I just... I don't know. It seems pretty normal to me. Maybe minus the choir thing. Is it not?
KT's in a phase of complaining and screaming. It's normal 3.5-yr-old stuff, we went through it with AJ. But it is wearing on me at the moment and I'm not handling her very well. (Can't wait 'til she's thirteen.)
I need some new clothes. That's one thing that always adds to a bad mood, when I don't feel like I have anything to wear, and no time to go shopping, and I'm always worried about spending too much money. I need a haircut and I haven't had time for that. I don't like to complain about it all, because DH will say, "Please go take some time for yourself, go shopping, get a pedicure." And then I'll feel bad for leaving him with the kids YET AGAIN, and I know HE needs some time off as well (not to mention clothes shopping), but he doesn't ever whine about it like I do... and I need a girlfriend that I LIKE to invite me to lunch or something, because I feel like I don't have any friends at the moment, and that makes it worse. I'm not even PMS-y, although this post sure sounds like it.
I'm so grateful for my beautiful kids, my wonderful husband who does the laundry and the yardwork despite how crappy he feels at the end of a work day, and all the good gifts I have. Most people think, I suspect, that I have it all together. But sometimes I have NOTHING together, nothing at all. I get tired and cranky and I don't want to DEAL with it all anymore. I would like to take a three-week vacation. Maybe by myself. At my mom's house.
Tuesday, September 13
Just Write: Right Now
I'm going to try this free writing exercise with Extraordinary Ordinary. Thanks to Nicole for pointing it out to me! Warning: This could end up being a very boring entry!
AJ, age 7, is sitting behind me at the kitchen table. I hear his pencils, coloring a West Virginia flag picture (drawn with much angst and crying last night from a picture we found online), working so hard I can almost also hear his tounge sticking out.
The dog is under the table. I hear him breathing, snoring (a good thing for a 15-year-old lab).
I poured us Cokes, a rare treat, but I left mine over there, on the counter. I can still taste its yummy sugar in my mouth. AJ has only drunk a little of his and I'm glad he's not a Coke guzzler. Last time I gave him Coke, he was enthusiastic in telling me, "Mom, Coke is REALLY GOOD." Rare treat, rare treat.
Next we'll have to cut out a construction paper cover for this state report. But I'm supposed to be talking about right now.
I see snacks waiting by the back door, to be taken to the boys' Den meeting tonight. DH's first as a Leader; I know he's slightly nervous. It makes me smile. I see a load of recycling that needs to be taken out (and I'm glad we finally signed up with a trash service that separates recycling, because I think it's a good lesson for the kids). The kids looooooove to take out the recycling, by the way.
Now I hear the dog clicking around the wood floor on his nails (we rarely cut them). And AJ wants to show me his finished flag. Have you ever drawn the West Virginia flag? It's really a tough one, as state flags go.
I get up to look, and I'm really proud of him. I will probably shuffle off to begin the nightly stroll through the pantry/fridge, to figure out something for dinner. I'm thinking chicken.
Monday, August 29
Monday is a letdown
...I mean, the fact that I have a stupid head cold on a Monday, and came to work armed with my DayQuil to do some emails and data entry, is supremely lame.
Tuesday, August 23
Kid Breakfasts
I liked Swistle's Kid Breakfasts post, and the comments about what other peoples' kids eat. I don't know if I'm embarassed or not about our list. My kids usually eat 2 items of their choice from this list, plus chocolate milk or juice:
- Gogurt or other kid-friendly yogurt
- Quaker instant Oatmeal
- 1 slice of banana bread (I make a lot of banana bread, because we have very ripe bananas leftover every time I buy them)
- Jimmy Dean's Sausage & Pancake on a Stick (sometimes turkey, sometimes regular)
- Frozen mini-pancakes (4)
- Nutella on toast cut into "bites"
- Dry cereal (they like Fruit Loops, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Frosted Flakes, and Cinnamon Life lately)
- sugar-free applesauce, grapes, strawberries, or half a banana depending on what we have
- rarely, a Nature Valley Trail Mix granola bar
I amuse myself typing this up - why am I so concerned about the sugar in applesauce when I'm obviously not very concerned about any other item's nutritional value?! LOL. Also, KT rarely eats all her oatmeal although she asks for it every day. I've taken to splitting one packet up for her, which seems so measly when it's doled out, and when she barely finishes even that. But on the other hand, she also gets breakfast at daycare, so I don't worry too much (except about the waste of food).
Monday, August 22
A Bushel and a Peck
... DH got to watch AJ at his new martial arts class, which he LOVES. It's interesting how much more enthusiastic AJ is about this than he was about baseball...
... We spent a lot of money at Target, but for things we have definitely been wanting, including a bulletin board for AJ's room (doesn't that make him seem like a BIG KID to you?), and shelves for our den (remember, I said we might do shelves??)...
... We had lunch at home on Saturday, which felt boring at the time (DH and I had lobbied for Chick Fil A but the kids weren't interested) but maybe it was just what we needed...
... We cleaned the house relax-ed-ly, vacuuming, dusting, and wiping down bathrooms (for the babysitter, and yes, it takes having someone over in order for me to get enthused about cleaning)
... The babysitter came and brought joy to the kids' hearts (KT was so cute, waiting by the window for her car to arrive), and to the parents' hearts, as we headed out for Thai food and then, the BEST MUSICAL EVER WRITTEN, Guys and Dolls. ;) I do love that show and I love my husband so much for knowing I would be thrilled to see it...
... We went to Sunday morning Mass and the kids BEHAVED, unlike the last 2 (or was it 3?) weeks running, AND we ran into some baseball friends there. We didn't know they went to our church and it was a really nice surprise!
... We did laundry, listened to music at dinner (I'll have to tell you about my new MUSIC plan), and got the pantry stocked for the week with juice boxes and oatmeal. Meals are planned for this busy week ahead, and my heart is just full with the love of family life right this moment.
Friday, August 19
7 Quick Things I Did Yesterday
1. Got up at 5:00 am. I started this schedule last school year, and it did accomplish the task of allowing me to do homework with AJ twice a week at our kitchen table. I do also kind-of like being awake before everyone else, and leaving the morning shuffle of dressing kids and gathering backpacks to DH, while I drive to the office at 6:15. (They also behave better for him than for me.) HOWEVER. It’s so earrrrlyyyy! Whine. I’m unsure if I really want to keep up with it this year again.
2. Witnessed some police business going down! I was in the drive-thru line at the bank, and another guy in line was evidently not doing the right thing, to use daycare-ese. 4 cop cars and 1 plain-clothes investigator! They cuffed the dude while my teller was all, “Thank you for banking with Wells Fargo!” over the tin-can speaker.
3. Made it to carpool in time. I was not the last car, and this always pleases me. One reason I am unsure about continuing these early days is the extreme rush it takes for me to GET to carpool. Even with leaving my office at 3:30 (exactly 480 minutes after I arrive at 6:30, minus lunch), I hate that stress. AJ knows if I don’t make it, not to panic... but I panic.
4. Met an online friend IRL! A sweet lady I met on Sparkpeople.com lives right around the corner from us. She and I met up for a 30-minute walk in the park, and AJ came with us. He walked a little and played on the playground a little. I don’t know if we’ll continue to meet in the afternoons (I’d rather not have AJ there by himself, although I do think it’s important to model for him the importance of physical activity), but I think we’ll definitely meet again.
5. Cooked a real dinner for once this week. It had a protein, vegetable, fruit, and Crescent Rolls. It was not hot dogs, chicken nuggets, leftovers, microwaved, or one of my frequent dinner solutions. We hadn't had this dish in a while and I thought it was delicious.
6. Went to the 1st choir practice of the season. We had fun, and my only regret was being overly excited about some music we’re doing this year that I’ve done before. I don’t want to be THAT GUY, who acts like she knows it all, already. Yeesh. *stupid stupid!* I do wish we'd get some additional people to join. Young-ish people would be nice (average age in our choir is about 60). Edited: NOT that there's anything wrong with 60, of course (Mom)! But it would be fun to meet some singers my own age.
7. Barely saw my husband. So I bought him a pint of Cherry Garcia. We first ate that flavor on our second date, I believe it was, 12 summers ago in 1999. I remember being excited that he shared a bite, on his spoon, with me. So intimate! ;) Anyway, I barely saw him yesterday, so it’s a good thing we have a date night planned this weekend. I can’t wait.
more quick takes hosted by Jen!
Friday, August 12
The Minutes!
Take yesterday, for example. I somehow arrived at work about 14 minutes early. Yes, you read that correctly, 14 minutes. Not 15. I noted this in my Brain, while walking through the lobby and into the elevator. I didn't dwell on it, but noticed it.
Then at lunchtime, I had to drive through the school carpool because 2nd Grader AJ had Noon Dismissal (first week of school nonsense). I left the office right around 11:35. Of course, carpool is a long wait, and I was scheduled to meet DH at home for a kid hand-off. There's no real need for me to explain this, but I will anyway: I had stayed with AJ for the FIRST half-day on Wednesday, and DH was keeping him for this 2nd half-day. NONSENSE, these half-days, did I already say that?
ANYHOO. I'm unsure the exact minute I got home with AJ, but we scurried around grabbing lunches to take with us on the road, and by the time I was in my car and almost back to the office, I could see it was 12:48. UH-OH -- I HAVE TAKEN AN HOUR:13 LUNCH!! So I thought to myself, "Well, I'll just stay tonight until 4:45, no big deal. One kid is with Daddy, the other kid will get to have an extra snack at daycare. I can make that time up. And THEN I remembered the morning's extra 14 minutes, and I was so relieved because I came out AHEAD.
BY ONE MINUTE.
I seriously do this type of counting every day. And you know that my job does not even require me to clock in, or log my time, or any of that. My co-workers certainly don't worry about working a FULL 8 HOURS, down to the minute. If they did, they wouldn't spend 15 minutes every 2 hours or so, standing around the common areas talking about Miche bags. (This seems to be the new craze at my office - one coworker is selling Miche bags and evvvvveryone is ordering them. I think they're ugly, myself.)
Not that I never get up -- I do take plenty of bathroom breaks and even a quick yoga break in the mornings (hey, if some people get cigarette breaks, I can have a yoga break). I also don't spend every waking moment doing WORK -- obviously, as I am typing this on COMPANY TIME. But why am I so flipping concerned about the minutes?? I wish I knew. It's a bit of a sickness.
Monday, July 25
More on diet/exercise
I am eating a lot of whole wheat tortillas and beans. Black beans, fat free refried, and hummus. Drinking water like it's going out of style. I have a bottle of wine in the fridge that I keep wanting to pour a glass from, but I forget to budget for it so there it sits, unopened. Tonight we had one of the Holy Grails of diet food, sugar free Jello. Mmmm. My diet profile on Sparkpeople says I need to eat more slowly. Habitually, I am the first to finish (clean) my small-portioned plate. I eat too fast and therefore try to also clean restaurant plates, which are not well portioned. I'd like to change that. It's hard.
I am pretty certain that nothing will really change on the scale or the clothing size until I make a drastic change to my exercise plan, like taking up running. But I am not quite in that mindframe yet. I WANT to want to run... But I am not 100% convinced the result would be worth the effort.
And I've been having heartburn lately. I know I will need to try some kind of OTC remedy first (blech, chalky torture), but I think if I have to take away my coffee and 1 bitty piece of dark chocolate every day (not to mention tomatoes, salsa, red wine and everything good that's spicy), known reflux-causers, I will just cry.
Now, you know everything about my diet & exercise lately. :)
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Friday, July 22
Diet and exercise lately
I started an account on Sparkpeople.com, because I didn't want my kids, someday when I'm gone, to come back to this blog and think, "LORDY, Mom had some food and exercise issues, didn't she?" Frankly, I get sick of talking about it, myself, but I know most women DO think about it, and worry over it, and have to COOK and GROCERY SHOP all the time, and don't have any time LEFT for exercise... so yeah, kids, it's a bit of an issue.
So I got started on Sparkpeople in February, and had a great 2.5 months of logging exercise up to 4x a week. That's a lot for me. I was bringing my shoes to the office and walking near work. There are at least 3 different good trails/sidewalks near here, plus a treadmill (in a gym) in the basement of the office.
And then May and June happened and I don't know - I slacked off. It got hot. Although, one of the major thoughts I've been having about Diet & Exercise lately is this: I have been fairly active most of my life (if sporadically).
- When I was a kid, it was swimming, gymnastics and tennis.
- In middle school, I was a cheerleader and "played" basketball, and took dance lessons.
- In high school, more cheerleading. 3 days a week in the hot sun practicing. I distinctly remember running laps.
- In college, I went to the gym and walked all over campus.
- After college, I gained a good bit of weight (beer and eating out will do that to a person), but I did still walk in a park near my apartment. And I did a shit-ton of Dance Step Reebok with Petra Kolber in my living room.
- First married? Walked around our new apartment neighborhood. Tried Dance Dance Revolution a couple of times.
etc. I could go on, and I mean, I'm no athlete, but I take comfort in the fact that I've always TRIED. I've kept trying.
Other random tidbits that have crossed my mind:
-- Salmon, no matter how nicely prepared, is just not as satisfying as creamy-sauce-covered jerk chicken pasta. The salmon will never win my heart, though I force it to win my decision most times.
-- The gym, is not really that scary. Not even when the only other person there is a GUY. All you have to do is say, "Are you using the treadmill?" And he might say no. And that's it, you get on the treadmill. He's not really watching you (me)... he's watching his own MUSCLES. (Or wishing for them.) And it's funny when you catch him straining a little to lift that last rep.
-- It is not hard to cut up 1 lemon and take it to work in a baggie, to squeeze into 32-ounce bottles of water. NOT HARD. And lasts a full week, if not more.
-- Eating a cookie (or 3) does not make anyone a bad person. It is OKAY. It is okay to eat cookies and ice cream -- you are still nice, and sweet (probably sweeter), and people won't dislike you for it. You won't get in TROUBLE for messing up. Just keep eating veggies too.
-- You can tread water in the 3-foot shallow. Just act like you're swimming, but use your arms to stop yourself going forward. It IS movement/a workout.
-- My worst temptation is chips and salsa, or crackers and dips. I go insane on those. INSANE.
Monday, July 18
When we painted our kitchen (the oft-mentioned Before & After!)
And behold, "After."
Just another shot of the countertop. Banana, anyone? You can see here where the Labrador ends and the "Hopsack" begins. I adore the name Hopsack. And the color, too.
Finally, the pantry door and the den. We did Hopsack on top and Labrador on the bottom. It's calming and creamy and we still love it. I haven't bought shelves to put on that big wall, but I will. And of course now I need new couches. :) Projects beget projects, don't they? Wonder how long it will be before we do another one? (Acutally, I'm anxious to paint my master bath now. Probably with the same colors. I'll let you know when it's done. HahahahatalktoyounextFebruary.)



