Monday the 17th

I enjoyed all the Accent Vlogs last week! I feel like I'd be presumptious to do one, myself, considering that a good portion of my readership knows me IRL. Heh. "Hey, Mom, here's what my accent sounds like." Plus, living in the South, it's pretty clear that I'll say "cokes" and "y'all." I might surprise you with "pajamas," though. (Short "a" jammies, but "ah" for pajamas. I can't reconcile the two.)

Yatt is telling me about her trip to Urgent Care last week (Friday), after she had spent the day hacking up a lung just on the other side of my cube wall. She evidently had infected tonsils and a fever of 101. Awesome. Where is my hand sanitizer? Every time she coughed last week, I squirted my hands. I wasn't having direct contact with her hands, and I know hand gel can't stop the contagions from flying around through the cube walls into my AIR, but... instinct, I guess. I should have remembered the Lysol spray this morning.

Our weekend was deliciously calm. Both days, we emplyed Divide and Conquer -- AJ and DH to jiu jitsu, and KT and I to Bed Bath and Beyond. (I shopped! For fun, decorative stuff!) In the afternoon, the kids played with the neighbors outside while DH mowed, and I vacuumed inside. I didn't mind! I was GLAD to get the house cleaned up! No one was whining for me to hold them or play with them! Then the babysitter came over, and DH and I went to a new (to us) restaurant, and to see The Help. What a movie. Loved it. It was as good as the book, no question. The casting was brilliant. Sunday was Mass, then the boys went to watch a football game and KT had a birthday party to attend. Afterwards, she crashed on the couch and I got to READ! And do 25 minutes of exercise, which was lovely!

So, another Monday begins this busy workweek. I'm so excited to see my parents on Thursday -- they're coming in to help us with AJ's "fall break," which isn't billed as such but is a 4-day weekend for the students. Us parents are held hostage by having to attend Parent-Teacher Conferences on Friday. There are guests in the office today (ugh) and I have lots of errands to do on lunch breaks. I'm thankful for:

• Time to tend our home, and space to let the kids run.
• A cartful (not a buggy) of groceries last night at 9:30, even though I wish I could cut down on the cost (coupons?).
• Joy in our singing at Mass yesterday, despite some fun(ny) drama!
• Time with my husband Saturday night, just to sit near each other and share an appetizer, and be.
• A delicious cup of coffee. Well, okay, 3 cups. :)

Poor planning

I am excited about KT's first real birthday party with friends from her class. The girl at the place where we're having it said something about "sparkle sticks and feather boas," and I didn't hear the rest because my mind was going, "SQUEEEEEEE!" Life doesn't get any more GIRLY than that! I hope they'll let ME have a sparkle stick, whatever in the heck one IS.

However, when I decided we should just invite girls, I didn't actually realize that there are only 5 girls in KT's whole class. I could invite a few from other classrooms, with whom she eats breakfast every day so technically they're "friends," but I've been at the school long enough to know that the norm is to just invite people from your own classroom. I can think of maybe two other, non-school friends we could invite. One is a T-ball friend, and the other is, surprisingly, Yatt's daughter. Which doesn't feel quite right since KT doesn't even know the daughter, but on the other hand, she's three -- it's not like she has requested veto power over the guest list, nor is she going to remember half these people anyway.

Let me say that I'm now enjoying a cordial office friendship with Yatt; she hasn't been the Yatt of yesteryear who annoyed the (expletive) out of me.... except RIGHT THIS SECOND as I typeOMG she's telling me about her period!! I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW THIS INFORMTION, FOR THE LOVE!!!

Sorry. She also pops her gum.

Party planning. I'm slightly concerned because we had a party for AJ once, and only invited a handful of people, and then only half of them showed up. I want this party to SPARKLE, darn it, not be a sad trumpet.

A few Yatt stories for ya

Admittedly, Yatt moving in next-door has not been nearly as bad as I would have imagined about a year ago. Too bad for the blog, right?? But in fact, because she's one of the only other women here with a toddler, I do find that I relate to her, moreso than to the ladies in Customer Care, for instance.

But not to worry: She definitely provides cringey and eye-rolly moments. Some reasons to QUICKLY get up and find somewhere else to be. Some Golden Opportunities To Practice Patience. And since I know that some of my readers are as catty and immature as I am, I thought I would share. I'm a giver.

1. Did I mention Yatt is pregnant with #2? I bet I didn't. And you know how much fun a know-it-all is when she is expecting!! She doesn't share every detail of her uterine landscape with me (yet), but I'm ready for it. She does refer to her baby by the name they plan to give him, which has always bugged me. WORSE SINCE HIS NAME IS THE NAME OF MY COLLEGE BOYFRIEND, HA HA! Okay, that's pretty funny - just as I was typing this up, I realized that's the most annoying part about it. And lord forbid if she's feeling a little pain from baby M @ t t h e w (GAH). EDITED: (Wasn't nice anyway) He's only 23 weeks along or something, but one day she acted like his feet were pushing into her ribcage. I wanted to tell her, ummm, he isn't big enough or turned enough to be kicking your ribs, dumbass. (Whoops, let that one slip. She really is a very nice person.)

2. LOUD EATER ZOMG. I didn't know this before because she was a good 20 feet away. But holy cannoli. (Warning: hyperbole ahead.) This week it's been a giant Wal-Mart bag of trail mix, and another giant Wal-Mart bag of dried fruit for snacks. Including banana chips. POPS 'em in her open mouth and CRACKS every nut so that the people in Suite 414 down the hall can probably ALSO feel the tremor. *!!*!* This is my #1 pet peeve in any human. No lie. Obnoxious mouth noises are the work of the Devil himself.

3. The other day, she went thru the drive-thru at Starbucks. (Yet another similarity between us! We both love Sbux! I swear it's stupid how alike we actually are.) And she's pregnant. So evidently her coffee, which was supposed to have been decaf, made her feel very jumpy. Well, instead of pouring it down the drain, getting some water and moving on with her life, she felt the need to call them up. Just to tell them that she thought, and didn't appreciate, their giving her a caffeinated coffee. "I'm Pregnant," she told the guy authoritatively. "And this coffee has me wiggin' out." (She DID say "wiggin'.") Like he could do anything about it at that point! I know that guy, since I frequent there as much as she does, and he is always overly nice and accommodating. I heard her refuse whatever free beverage he offered in apology (if she didn't want something, why did she bother calling?), but she reiterated 2 or 3 times that she is PREGNANT. Then she asked me later, "Did you hear me talking to Starbucks earlier?"

YES. I COULDN'T ACTUALLY HAVE MISSED IT.

Ohhhh, I think it's going to be a delightful gestation.

You'd do better to read the paper wrapper your lunch came in...

Reports from ya-ya ma are that AJ is getting along just swimmingly without us. Quite literally -- it sounds like they're swimming at least twice a day. He's hanging out with his cousins, eating and sleeping well, and waking her up, instead of me, at quarter to six AY! EM!

Desite that good news, I'm feeling all sorts of ennui, which is normal for this Longest Week Of The Year pre-vacation. I'm blah about work, not feeling like I even qualify to be doing some of the stuff I'm tasked with. I'm not yet motivated for trip-tasks besides laundry; I'd rather read my book. And yet I know that both work-work and home-work need to be ramped up before Friday OR ELSE. It's time to start stressing. (Why aren't I stressing?) I'd like to take trips to Barnes & Noble and TJ Maxx tomorrow at lunch, to ensure I have all the right gear. A new book light and a new swimsuit would both be handy. But ugh, what a pain, buying a swimsuit.

I'm still the same same same weight, height, and pale-skin-level as before the 30-Day-Shred attempt. I feel plllbbbttt about that, as well. Why didn't it work? Why couldn't I keep doing it after 30 stupid days? I don't look bad, per se, but I could look better. I've used my Target-brand self-tanning lotion 2 or 3 times but I'm hardly interested in smelling it for the little difference it makes.

The one thing I did get accomplished today was scheduling AJ's birthday party at -- Heaven forgive me -- Chuck E. Cheese. I know I shouldn't spoil him by granting that request, especially because I am not a fan of Chuck. But I AM a fan of hosted parties where I let the hired teenager run things and I write the check. And I'm also a fan of AJ, himself, and asked very sweetly. Last year we did a very non-commercial party at the park. It was awesome, and cheap. So I feel justified that this year we can do something a little bigger.

That's all I've got. Oh, also: Yatt has moved into the cubicle next to me. Should be interesting. She's grown on me a little since our last discussion. And I've vowed not to be a jerk about her on the blog. So unnecessary, spreading ill-will into the world. Still, though. One of the only people to ever merit her own category on helloself. I feel I should mention it.

Observations

When I left the office for my lunch hour yesterday, another girl was leaving the building, too, with her Lean Cuisine already heated, fork in one hand. Her purse was slung over one shoulder, and she was eating as she WALKED. Now that's taking it to a new level. I've been guilty many times of eating while driving, eating "on the run," but never literally. Bizarre, no?

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There seems to be an office tradition of giving a Christmas card to every co-worker. So far the ones I've received haven't even been personalized. Not even a "Dear el-e-e." Just signed at the bottom: -Yatt. (Yes, she gave me one!) I find it odd. Sort-of like passing out valentines in the 5th grade. I can't decide if I'll join in or be a rebel.

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God has a sense of humor. There's a new priest at our church, and he's... well, let's just say he's very DELIBERATE (read: slow) about every. single. thing. he. does. His Mass takes at least an hour and a half. I thought, this past week, that SURELY he wouldn't be saying the 5:30 p.m. Sunday "Life Teen" service. Surely someone as Rite and Ritual-oriented would ask not to say the electric guitars and drums "Praise" service (read: surely we wouldn't have to suffer through his slowness). WRONG-O. We've heard him now 3 weeks in a row. I'm learning patience in yet ANOTHER way.

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All the things I was going to put into this post have flitted back out of my mind. Why does that always happen? If I think of them I'll come back to edit. (You: Wowww, thannnnks.)

Make My Happy Face

Yatt is moving!! Not out of town, but we're re-org'ing the office layout and she and her team are being shifted way out of earshot. There goes my entertaining blog fodder! But I can stop being so mean, which is probably a good thing. Anyway, I'll try to store up some good tidbits this week and then we will officially close this delightful story arc.

No, what I really want to talk about today is Age Four. Four is trying to kill me dead, with one re-usable phrase, and one alone:

"Make my happy face come baaaack!"

It's all my fault, too. I... maybe during one of AJ's early four-year-old tantrums, I was feeling bold and asked him, "Aww, buddy, where did your happy face go?" To try to get him out of his funk.

EPIC BACKFIRE. EP-IC. Now he turns that damn phrase back on me every time he feels the least bit dissatisfied. What he wants, usually, is for me to "fix it" by telling him a knock-knock joke. Because I tried THAT one time, too. Always with the deflecting techniques. Perhaps I should immediately say TIME OUT. I can be a real idiot, I guess. But I swear to pants, when he is pitching a fit and screaming/whining to "please tellllll me a joke or sumthin'! PLEEEEEASE MOMMY..." the very LAST thing I feel like doing is telling jokes. Rrrrrr! I've tried to explain to him that he is responsible for his own attitude, not me, but he doesn't get it. I've tried to ignore him. I've tried Time Out. (Time Out is, lately, actually the only threat that gets his attention.) I just... sigh. I am really tired of hearing "Make My Happy Face Come Back." I feel like it's one of those ultimate manipulative things kids do. He's the one pitching the fit, and I'm the one getting blamed for making his face go sad. GAH. Did your rotten four-year-olds ... I mean, darling cherubs ... ever pull this crap on you?

Spending and Listening and Counting down, oh my!

I've been spending money. Birthday money, specifically, at TJ Maxx and Marshall's. I still have about $200 left (my parents and in-laws are so generous!) but so far I've bought 4 tops I can wear to work, 1 pair of capris, 2 pairs of shorts, 1 swimsuit, 1 pair of striped flip-flops, and some new underthings. I have held out on spending money for a long time, it seems, so this is fun, not to mention I'm doing it with our BEACH TRIP in mind, so that makes me very happy. (10 days until! I've been trying to withhold the annual COUNTDOWN for your reading benefit, but heck -- half the people who read will be there with me or were just there last month, so wheee! Vacation!)

By the way, the drink of choice this year wants to be a Mojito. I've found recipes that use raw sugar, and others that suggest powdered. I'm leaning towards powdered because it's handy.

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I am trying so hard to NOT say anything at work, or even to my husband, about Yatt. Because if you can't say anything nice... you know. BUT ZZZOMMMMMGGGGGG!!! Using Constance the First's logic, I may say how she is making me crazy right here on my blog. So let us begin. Yesterday:

--She spent, ohidontknow, about 3 hours cumulative, during the day, telling her team about her recent skin biopsy results. They're pre-cancerous. Now, I am not going to be completely rude about a cancer diagnosis -- I'll allow her that is a scary thing to hear, and I don't wish it on anyone nor begrudge her telling her story about it (loudly), but

-- She then had to SHOW her team (also loudly) all of her previous terrible biopsy scars. ......um..... Seriously? I peeked over and she was leaning down into a cubemate's desk area, pulling her shirt sleeves down off her shoulder, to show them some of the scar tissue where she'd had stitches. Number one, NO. We don't pull our clothes down in any way during work hours, and Number two, COME ON. Little scars from little biopsies? Not that INTERESTING to people, Yatt, hate to tell ya. All the while she's yak yak yakking. It's just too much, you know? I mean, sure, tell your friends about an ailment. Okay. But she never just TELLS -- she INSTRUCTS everyone about it. And somehow she never quite ENDS the sentences. She finishes a thought, then, "Ummms..." until the next thought begins. And keeps adding more and more information. Did I mention? ...Loud. Ly.
-- Right now she's saying to a co-worker, "Now, you have a right-hand desk, which means all your workspace is to your left. You see what I mean? But I am left-handed..." AS IF THIS LADY DOESN'T UNDERSTAND the concept.

I do wonder how her cube-mates deal with her. But none of them is terribly quiet (like I would be -- I would just have to shut my mouth completely if I sat over there and she was talking in and around me); and none of them snips back at her with the things I would WANT to say, like, "Okay, Yatt, do we really have to talk about your personal body again today? I'm kind-of trying to concentrate."

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It really is perfectly fine to complain, on my blog, with like-minded friends who understand.

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I am looking to spend the rest of my birthday money on either a stylish laptop bag/briefcase, or a new, larger, structured purse. The line is blurred -- both of those things might actually be the same, which makes is REALLY hard for a non-decision-maker like me. I could get by with my current purse selection (I have a smaller spring bag that I adore) if I had a bigger, more professional-looking bag to put it in. Because I could keep all the myriad PAPERS I carry around in the big bag, freeing up the purse for essentials: wallet, phone, pen, lipstick, gum, and unused coupons. I ALSO want a pretty but small "portfolio" thing that I can use for a wallet. One that kinda opens up like a book, you know? Holds business cards and all? My manager uses one and it looks so grown-up. Haven't found the right thing yet.

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Wow, this whole post is completely shallow, isn't it?! Well, Book Club is tonight -- maybe I'll have some intellectual thoughts one of these days soon. But... don't hold your breath.

First thing in the morning

I come in to my desk, Starbucks in hand, ready to greet the rainy day with a SIGH and a pep talk to myself -- "Okay now, this can be a productive, nice day..." -- trying to gear up, you know, instead of being grumbly... and Yatt is next door telling her cubemate all about the history of her bladder infections. First thing in the morning. She got up to pee, and then, not one minute later, she had to pee again, and she thought, "This is a bladder infection." I'm sorry, but GROSS. I don't want to hear about that. Seriously. I'm sorry boutcha, but gah. Of course she uses some herbal remedy that is wwwwwwuuuuunnderful, because she is so smart.

I have a pair of yellow earplugs at my desk that I employ frequently.

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I woke up this morning at 5:30 thinking of work. Remember a filing system that we used to use at my old job, and that I had intended to put it in place here. That stupid work-thought wouldn't let me even wait the 6 minutes until my alarm went off.

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I have decided that DH and I deserve, and need, a cleaning service. Not this week, maybe not for a few months until we take care of some other financial things (BTW, we just paid off our 2004 Highlander. Woo! Now if the old one can only last another year, we can really make some headway in our checkbook balance). But sometime this year, I think we should explore hiring someone to do the vacuuming, dusting, bathrooms and kitchen once a week, or maybe every other week. I am documenting that thought here. DH is even on board with it. I believe it would not only help our cleanliness, but also our relationship. I think we both stress about the house not being clean, and it really wears on us. Isn't that weird? That a little dust and dog hair can take its toll on a marraige? But I really think it can, and does for a lot of couples in different ways. I can't believe it's taken me this long to figure out a possible solution for us. I'm anxious to start price shopping. Where do I do that? Craigslist? Does anyone use a house cleaning service regularly? Please advise. :)

Pre-holiday weekend, Pre-K graduation

This morning Yatt is talking about POLITICS. She seems to be slightly opinionated. She presumes, I think, that all her cube-mates share her views. And maybe they do... but maybe I don't. Guess no one ever told her that talking politics is not what we do in POLITE COMPANY or PROFESSIONAL SETTINGS. Also -- Harry Potter! Oh Noes!! It turns out that one of the things that bugs me the MOST about Yatt is that she and I share an interest in certain topics. iMacs, Steve Wozniak, for example, and now HP, too?? Is it because she's the polar opposite but EXACT SAME as me that I dislike her so much?? Am I pointing a mirror at MYSELF? ohhh, too much psychobabble for a Friday morning and holiday weekend.

Hello, how are you? I've been swamped this week, I guess, or more than that, uninterested in sharing what I have in my brain. But last night we went to Pre-K graduation and it warmed my little heart. I mean, just look at this:



Kills you dead, right? DEAD. CUTE. And he got the certificate for Best Reader. :) I knew that's what he'd get. He IS the best reader EVAR. *mom pride* *preening*

What upsets me is the anticipation of having to go through this whole "graduation" thing again 3 more times before we're out of high school. I know they'll have Kindergarten graduation, further proving (like we don't already know) that the bay-bees are growing UP!!! ...and then 8th grade graduation, THEN a real graduation from high school! Crazy. I only feel worse for MY parents, who had to do 6th grade and THEN 8th grade, because we moved to a new town in between the two. (Although they didn't have to endure the little kid versions. I think those MUST be the hardest. Well, no, I take it back -- high school graduation will probably be AWFULLY HARD as they'll (hopefully) be leaving the NEST, zOMG... we can't even think about that yet.)

New Topic!! We're going to (great) grandma's house! Leaving tonight or tomorrow, I can't decide and it's been left up to me. It depends on whether I can get all my laundry done, and then packed, before 5 pm today. I'll leave work early today, attend Kindergarten Orientation (how neatly that lined up!), then take the kids home and attempt to wash, fold, and pack everything up while they destroy the place. Then we'll sic them on Nanny's house and they'll likely destroy IT, too! I tell you what, we leave a TRAIL wherever we go these days. There are always THINGS -- toys, shoes, fridge magnets -- decorating the floor at our house. ALWAYS. Here's an example -- don't mind the adorable moment in the foreground, I'm uploading this to show you the MAYHEM behind them:



And that's nothing -- you should see the kitchen. Happy Memorial Day, everyone.

7 Quick Takes Friday

1-- I think I'm fully conditioned to the demands of my job, finally. Know how I know? I'm back to my normal amount of (too much) time reading blogs. Ha! And, hooray!! It was awful when I felt so overwhelmed that even 10 minutes in the morning was too indulgent/guilt-inducing!

2-- I know you're disappointed, but my friend Yatt has been mostly out of the office this week. I think she was sick. Unfortunate. Your entertainment will just have to wait.

3-- I read a whole book last weekend. It was "Happens Every Day" by Isabel Gillies, which I thought was going to be a good book to review for my job (we recommend books to our audience of women). It's not a good recommendation, though. We try to showcase uplifting or informative books. This book was interesting -- I definitely dove into it and ignored my children to flip its pages last Saturday -- but uplifting? No. It's about a divorce-in-progress. I was mad at the main character because she never lambasted her jerk husband the way she should have. ANYWAY, I'm back into reading books, too, I think. This weekend I'll be reading three if I can manage! I just started "The Last Lecture" by Randy Pausch; Book Club's next selection is "Edgar Sawtelle," which I'm anxious to buy, maybe today; and I need to read "Nordie's at Noon" for work. I think all three are going to be awesome. ALSO on my list for the next month or so: some of the great books I got for Christmas, and one that SDW lent me AGES ago! I have big dreams of 28-hour days, apparently. Buth hooray for reading!

4-- My very LEAST favorite part of being a grown-up is managing health insurance plans. First-world whine, I know, and even in the U.S., so many people don't even have insurance, or have red-tape Medicare/caid... I really shouldn't complain. But because we both work, we're always having to compare plans (see, one-working-parent-families? Betcha didn't think of that bonus - no analytic work for insurance, just fill out the forms of your one option!). Currently we're all on DH's insurance. But I'm now eligible for my company's plan. Naturally, Open Enrollment is not conveniently scheduled at the same time of year for both companies, so the problem becomes: Do we switch in the middle of the year? I feel like we're always on new insurance anyway lately, with the way businesses are having to renegotiate rates every year because health care's so expensive. But all the COMPARING of PLANS. GAH. HAAAAAAATE. I'm apt do the easy/lazy thing and just stick with what we have, and not even investigate which plan is the most cost-efficient for us. (That loud THUD you just heard is my Dad falling out of his chair in dismay... sorry, Dad.)

5-- This is a Trader Tuesday item but I can't wait 'til then. I have a low-fat trick for great-tasting green beans (canned of course). Simmer them with 1 cube of bouillon. To me, they taste every bit as rich as when you cook them with butter and S&P. But -- no fat! Does everyone know that or is it just my genius mother?

6-- 138 today and I have been hungry a lot this week. But I'll take the loss!

7-- Does anyone else like Chadwick's? I do, but their prices seem higher than they used to be. I mean, $29.99 for a blouse (sleeveless, no less)? That feels to me like a Talbot's price, not a Chadwick's price. Disappointing.


More Quick Takes here. Happy weekend!

More about Biggest Loser

I can't say enough about how this show inspires people. Most of this season's contestants were previously inspired by watching the show, and that's fantastic. I think it's a service NBC is providing to Americans, for sure. (I know that on Wednesdays, I'm guilted into working out after spending two hours watching every Tuesday! Sometimes I even lift hand weights while watching, I'm so guilted!) And I'm always glad that they show the doctors and ensure that everything they're doing is safe and medically sound. Basically the contestants are taken from couch potatoes to professional athletes in just a few months, for those of you who don't watch.

So, I know it's about the drama, and that the contestants are obese, not just a little overweight, and it's the visual impact of the stunning before and after photos that makes the show so compelling. But I wish they'd spend some time emphasizing that not everyone has to have such dramatic results like these. They need to remind the average couch potato that just taking a walk every day will HELP THEM, will improve their health and lengthen their lives. It's not just about being skinny. And that most of us won't have 6 hours a day dedicated to working out -- and SHOULDN'T, unless we're medically supervised.

I haven't done a lot of looking around on the BL website, but I hope they have sensible advice for regular people. I'm sure they do. I just wish they'd say those things on the show a little more.

An update on my own "weight removal journey" -- I saw that recently and thought it was great. If it's a "weight loss," there's the possibility of finding it again! "weight removal" seems more permanent -- Anyway, I am 7 pounds away from my weight goal. And I can TOTALLY remove another 7 pounds. I haven't been logging calories in a long time. And I haven't been doing cardio as regularly as I should. BUT if I start this week and really try to lose 1 pound per week, I can do it by Beach Week. Wouldn't that be awesome?! Isn't this the looooonnnnngest stupid 15-pound weight-loss-journey that ever WAS??

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Yatt's BAYBEE is in da house!! (I will reluctantly admit that she's a pretty cute baby, AND I'm slightly jealous because she is named "M e gan," which is a name I love but DH wouldn't let me use. On the other hand, now I have a reason to like the name slightly less.)

Note 1 and Note 2

I go to bed every night completely and utterly exhausted. So much that I usually miss getting to kiss my hubby goodnight, even. I sort-of hate that. And I can't decide if it's because I'm Living! Life! To the Fullest! or if I'm just not Getting! Enough! Exercise!

Speaking of exercise, Biggest Loser! I'm a total sucker for the before and after pictures, I guess, but MAN, do I love that show. Amazing people. I'm voting for Mike if I can get on the site today. I was excited to see him wearing a Something Catholic High School sweatshirt on last night's episode. They're that awesome and Catholic, too? Nice. I have more comentary on the show but will save it 'til tomorrow. Note 1 has gotten awfully long.

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Yatt's topic of the day: Istanbul (used to be Constantinople) -- because no one but Yatt has ever heard the song by TMBG.

Just saying

Nothing to SAYYYY, nothing to SAYYYY, I have exactly NOTHING TO SAAAAAAAY! (So I'm singing.)

Of course that isn't true; I guess I have plenty to say, or that is what a friend of the family indicated this weekend when he said he had NOTHING to say in a BLOG, and he doesn't know why anyone would want to maintain one of those BLOGS for heaven's sake, ugh. Or to that effect. Well, pish posh, family friend, no soup for YOU! Hee hee. I am only kidding, it is funny to hear the older generation (for that is what he is) trying to understand our LANGUAGE. Our MEDIA. I'm sure his parents and their friends pooh-pooh'd sitting and watching those crazy television sets with comments like "I don't know why ANYONE would want to do that." Heh, heh. How do you like me NOW?? Oh well. I didn't think I cared one whit about that comment but evidently I did. LOL.

I have to tell you guys something that will NOT fall under the "Kindblog" badge, and I'm very sorry about that. But I have to get this OUT! It's killing me. I have a cube-neighbor -- actually she's at least 3 cubes over but she is SO LOUD that she feels like she's right next door -- and she is An Expert On Everything. Have you ever known someone like that? OH HOLY HELL. It is so obnoxious. Since I came here in February, she has pontificated on no less than all of these topics, usually more than once a day:

• Twitter


• iPods


• iPhones


• DSL versus the Dish


• House Cleaning (I think she owns a business)


• MOTHERHOOD - lord help me, she has a 7-month old and guess what else? She's the only person ever on EARTH to have had a BAY-BEE. Did you know bay-bees babble? And coo? They sure do. Hers more than most.


• Steve Wozniak


• Mac computers


• Elmo


• The Honda Fit (recently bought one)


• Menses (there's an app for that)


• Reese's Peanut Butter Cups

I am so not even kidding you. It's like she actively chooses the topic for the day and then tells everyone in her line of vision how much she Knows. I have to start giving you a daily update. Yatt's topic of the day (not her real name). The Reese's discussion was yesterday: someone brought in the white chocolate version of mini-Reese's to share. You or I would say, 'Oooh, chocolate! Thanks!" The end. This woman went into a 10-minute discussion of why she likes the PEANUT BUTTER part of the Reese's, and the chocolate part is immaterial slash ineffective in overpowering the peanut butter part. That's why SHE eats them, the peanut butter. And she feels the white chocolate DOES overpower the p.b. so that's why she doesn't like them.

AS I TYPE she is telling her teammates that she records the first day of her period using an app on her iPhone. I SWEAR TO GOSH she is.

Oh! Oh! She also walks around her area BAREFOOT.

You guys are going to love her.