I've been playing the piano again, a little bit. It feels calming and restorative to me. I'm terrible! I stumble over the notes and the rhythms start and stop and speed up and then slow again. It's like a fourth grader who's never had lessons! But I like to think I could get better if I keep practicing.
I started playing the piano when I was five. Thank you, Mom and Dad. I enjoyed it and was fairly good for a five-year-old, and then for a 6, 7, 8, 9, 10-year old. I had a good teacher. During middle school and the beginning of high school, I had an even better teacher. He had studied at an actual conservatory and liked to talk about that fact. He also liked to think that I was a better pianist than I was. He wanted a "star" pupil, and my sister and I stood in that role a little bit, I think. We played Chopin nocturnes and Beethoven sonatas, and even Rachmaninoff (how I hated Rachmaninoff), and we played in a few competitions and won medals once or twice.
And we -- or specifically, I -- got burned out. Same way I had with tennis a few years before that. I can't remember what year it was, but at age 15 or 17, I decided I couldn't take the weekly lessons anymore, and really didn't have time, with school, cheerleading, community theater and being a teenager, to practice for hours a day. Not even one hour a day. I know it broke my Mom's heart in some ways. It was sad to let it go, but a relief. I've justified it to myself because since then, I've spent much more time singing than playing, and piano was, of course, the perfect foundation for a musician. I took voice lessons, too, and I think I'm more talented vocally than my fingers ever were. (Although, when people comment about how fast I type -- and I love to type -- I often credit ten years of playing the piano.) I have loved being part of choirs, and music performance is definitely part of who I am.
Anyway, a few years ago DH bought me an electric piano. Our house doesn't really have space to accommodate a real one, but the electric one fits well with our still-not-totally-mature interior design style. We got it with the kids in mind. Maybe they'll take lessons one day soon? I haven't played it nearly as much as I've wanted to -- and believe me, I've wanted to. Life gets in the way, you know?
But right now I'm coming back to it. I've found a book in my old things that has sonatinas and gavottes in just about the right difficulty level, and because of the years of singing, I'm a much better music reader than I ever was as a teenager.
I'm having fun. I try to sit down during KT's baths. It's just ten minutes, usually, before she needs my attention for something. You do sort-of have to lose yourself in playing/practicing to get good, and there's hardly ever time for that. I'd like to try to make some time.
I have this desire to someday be able to play well again -- to accompany the choir for rehearsals, if needed, or pick up a book and play Christmas songs if anyone wants to sing with me. Oh, and this weekend while standing near the organ during Mass, I really got to thinking how FUN it would be to play THAT instrument! It's silly in a way.
On the other hand, it's a part of me that's been missing. Like I said, it's a stress-reliever now (ironic how it used to cause me stress). I was wondering recently, what would be something FUN to work at every day? And I thought, playing the piano would be fun work. So. I'm not changing careers or anything (I wish!), but I'm going to play.
Tuesday, April 30
Wednesday, April 24
Good stuff right now
Let's do something else. Let's get poor AJ's poor choice down, away from top billing on this page. :)
Here are some ways life is really good right now:
1. Our spring annuals are planted and pretty! I know YOU don't care, but this might be the earliest we've gotten it done in years. And we replaced a few plants (bushes) that had died and been dug up last year, so it feels significant. I am checking it off our Home-Beautifying-Before-Sale list, and that feels good because it was a "would be nice to have" item, but now it's done!
2. The kids are playing outside. All the time! With the hundred or so kids that seem to gather in ours and neighbors' yard every day. (Ok, it's just fifteen, not a hundred.) There is even a little girl KT's age. Hallelujah. I know she was having a hard time before this new little girl, we'll call her Abby, showed up. Now she LIVES for the doorbell to ring in hopes that it's Abby. Super cute.
3. I am back IN the dinner-menu zone. I go through phases, you know, where I can't think of anything good to make. In the last couple of weeks, though, I've tried some new things that were successful, and Monday night I went back to one of our family's Old Standbys, and it was well received -- pork chops with Hot & Spicy Shake-N-Bake, field peas with white rice, and Crescent rolls. I know it's not very original but it had been a long time since we'd had it -- I love rediscovering old gems like that. Here are some things I want to try next (for the adults, of course. The kids would never eat these!):
4. Besides that, I seem to be on a roll with getting some exercise (at minimum 10 minutes a day but I'm aiming for 20). Most days it's just a quick walk outside around my office building, but the weather's been nice enough that it's really a mental boost, too. Score. I've been working on lowering my calories-in, too, with some success, and have lost a pound or two. It's kind-of lame to always, for years, be trying to lose 10 pounds. (Baby weight! Haha! What? I had babies once.) I'd like to be finished with it. On the other hand, I guess it's better to be working at it, mindful of what I'm eating all the time, rather than not caring. (I go through plenty of "not caring" phases, too. Just not right now.)
5. We rescued all of AJ's baby photos and videos from my dead iMac. I haven't yet gone through them all to sort and save, but they're safe.
Just a few little things. But they're making me happy, happy.
Here are some ways life is really good right now:
1. Our spring annuals are planted and pretty! I know YOU don't care, but this might be the earliest we've gotten it done in years. And we replaced a few plants (bushes) that had died and been dug up last year, so it feels significant. I am checking it off our Home-Beautifying-Before-Sale list, and that feels good because it was a "would be nice to have" item, but now it's done!
2. The kids are playing outside. All the time! With the hundred or so kids that seem to gather in ours and neighbors' yard every day. (Ok, it's just fifteen, not a hundred.) There is even a little girl KT's age. Hallelujah. I know she was having a hard time before this new little girl, we'll call her Abby, showed up. Now she LIVES for the doorbell to ring in hopes that it's Abby. Super cute.
3. I am back IN the dinner-menu zone. I go through phases, you know, where I can't think of anything good to make. In the last couple of weeks, though, I've tried some new things that were successful, and Monday night I went back to one of our family's Old Standbys, and it was well received -- pork chops with Hot & Spicy Shake-N-Bake, field peas with white rice, and Crescent rolls. I know it's not very original but it had been a long time since we'd had it -- I love rediscovering old gems like that. Here are some things I want to try next (for the adults, of course. The kids would never eat these!):
Shrimp, cilantro, avocado w/brown rice. Source: womenshealthmag.com via me on Pinterest
Spinach, garlic, lemon pasta. Source: weekofmenus.blogspot.com via me on Pinterest
Black Bean Spinach enchiladas. Source: thegardengrazer.com via me on Pinterest
4. Besides that, I seem to be on a roll with getting some exercise (at minimum 10 minutes a day but I'm aiming for 20). Most days it's just a quick walk outside around my office building, but the weather's been nice enough that it's really a mental boost, too. Score. I've been working on lowering my calories-in, too, with some success, and have lost a pound or two. It's kind-of lame to always, for years, be trying to lose 10 pounds. (Baby weight! Haha! What? I had babies once.) I'd like to be finished with it. On the other hand, I guess it's better to be working at it, mindful of what I'm eating all the time, rather than not caring. (I go through plenty of "not caring" phases, too. Just not right now.)
5. We rescued all of AJ's baby photos and videos from my dead iMac. I haven't yet gone through them all to sort and save, but they're safe.
Just a few little things. But they're making me happy, happy.
Thursday, April 18
Two funny things for the record-book (blog)
I picked KT up at pre-K on Tuesday, and she was eager to show me a two-sided art masterpiece (!) that she had made. "KT," said her teacher, "What is the word, again?"
"Met-a-mor-pho-sis!" she proudly answered. Pronounced perfectly, which I know is why the teacher asked her in front of me.
"Wow, KT, that's a big word!" I marveled. Then she showed me her artwork.
"Look, Mommy, this is the butterfly, and here's my flower, and the sun, and this is the caller-pitter!"
(Please stay little forever!)
* * * * * * * *
This 2nd story's not quite so charming, although I look forward to the day in the future, when he's 30, and we can look back and really get a good laugh over it.
AJ got in his first real big trouble at school yesterday, for writing something on a classroom bookshelf, in red pen. He and another kid worked together, but he admitted it was his idea. And what words, pray tell, did he feel the need to inscribe on school property?
FART HOUSE.
(Please grow up as soon as possible.)
He got in trouble at home, too -- 2 weeks of no video/computer games, no sleepovers, no new books or toys, and we made him write apology letters to the school and his teacher. He cried. I'm betting that's the last time it happens and I was glad of the teachable moment -- and to have the time to think it through before I saw him. All in all it's a pretty typical rite of boyhood -- and parenting -- passage, I guess, and I'm proud of him for getting through it. He'll live. He'll be smarter now. I can't wait to remind him of it many times in his adulthood. ;)
"Met-a-mor-pho-sis!" she proudly answered. Pronounced perfectly, which I know is why the teacher asked her in front of me.
"Wow, KT, that's a big word!" I marveled. Then she showed me her artwork.
"Look, Mommy, this is the butterfly, and here's my flower, and the sun, and this is the caller-pitter!"
(Please stay little forever!)
* * * * * * * *
This 2nd story's not quite so charming, although I look forward to the day in the future, when he's 30, and we can look back and really get a good laugh over it.
AJ got in his first real big trouble at school yesterday, for writing something on a classroom bookshelf, in red pen. He and another kid worked together, but he admitted it was his idea. And what words, pray tell, did he feel the need to inscribe on school property?
FART HOUSE.
(Please grow up as soon as possible.)
He got in trouble at home, too -- 2 weeks of no video/computer games, no sleepovers, no new books or toys, and we made him write apology letters to the school and his teacher. He cried. I'm betting that's the last time it happens and I was glad of the teachable moment -- and to have the time to think it through before I saw him. All in all it's a pretty typical rite of boyhood -- and parenting -- passage, I guess, and I'm proud of him for getting through it. He'll live. He'll be smarter now. I can't wait to remind him of it many times in his adulthood. ;)
Tuesday, April 16
On Starting a Week
My earbuds are in place with calm.com feeding me a lovely ocean breeze, and rhythmic waves on the shore. I wish I were actually there! But I'm not, I'm at my desk on a Monday morning, trying very hard to stay positive. This is just a workday -- not terrible, not depressing. It's a leaf falling or a bird flying by -- I can't control it and shouldn't worry about it, but I can control my response to it (or not respond at all).
Behind me there's a meeting going on, with its door open. Slight lack of courtesy has my heartrate up a little. A few minutes ago there was a phone call happening in another office behind me; the door was closed, but the occupant was still loud enough for me to be distracted by her. I feel sorry for her, having to have loud/stressful conversations on a Monday morning.
I am glad I don't, and glad for earbuds.
I have a cold, 32-oz water bottle with a purple straw and a green lime. I can only drink water with lime/lemon if it has ice.
I'm typing on a new-to-me laptop. It's nice that it responds so quickly when I double-click. My old laptop, last week, was super annoying and slow. This new one also has unfamiliar keyboard sounds. The clicks seem different. It's distracting, too, but in a good way.
Right now, I'm putting off a project that's blinking at me from my calendar. It's a Powerpoint presentation -- one that I'm writing for someone else -- and it feels like too much of a challenge at this moment. I know that -- I'm hoping by writing this it will become true -- I know that I will take it one slide at a time (ugh, slides!) and that my draft will be fine. I'll get feedback, and probably get offended at some of the feedback, but I'll make the changes and the person who needs to put her stamp on it will have done so, and I'll be finished with it. (Until the next one.) But right now all of that seems very far away.
The deadline is EOB Tuesday. I didn't know what "EOB" meant, several years ago. COB. EOD. Whatever you call "end of the day" in your line of work.
Right now it is 10:12 a.m. and time to get started.
You can, too, just click the image!
Wednesday, April 10
Quick Update
Just reading my own blog, and thought I'd update you lovely people on the school-bullying (tickling) situation.
According to AJ, it hasn't happened in a good while. We now ask every day if anyone bothered him. I won't stop asking. He may stop telling the truth -- we've had it happen where, I'll ask him right after school and he's bright and sunny, and says nothing happened, but later in his room, with Daddy, he reports the opposite after further investigation. I'm glad he'll tell one of us, and I'm glad when DH presses the issue.
There is another mom, with whom I am close, who calls me when HER son reports any misbeahvior, on AJ's behalf. I love her kid. He, too, has been the victim of a few of the rough kids. She has also had Important Meetings with the teacher. I am glad that her son and mine are good buddies (they go to summer camp together). They stick up for each other although they're both little dudes. I wish, too, sherry, that AJ could befriend a big, hulking kid.
It seems like things have died down overall, for which I'm grateful.
According to AJ, it hasn't happened in a good while. We now ask every day if anyone bothered him. I won't stop asking. He may stop telling the truth -- we've had it happen where, I'll ask him right after school and he's bright and sunny, and says nothing happened, but later in his room, with Daddy, he reports the opposite after further investigation. I'm glad he'll tell one of us, and I'm glad when DH presses the issue.
There is another mom, with whom I am close, who calls me when HER son reports any misbeahvior, on AJ's behalf. I love her kid. He, too, has been the victim of a few of the rough kids. She has also had Important Meetings with the teacher. I am glad that her son and mine are good buddies (they go to summer camp together). They stick up for each other although they're both little dudes. I wish, too, sherry, that AJ could befriend a big, hulking kid.
It seems like things have died down overall, for which I'm grateful.
Tuesday, April 9
Hurling insults
Poor KT baby. I called the doctor yesterday, kind-of on a whim, just wanting to see if something she'd been telling me merited a visit.
Well, it did. She's been tugging at her left ear, causing it to "pop" audibly, for about 4 weeks now, sometimes telling me she can't hear, sometimes saying it hurt, most times calling it her "Stupid ear." Heh. So the doc wanted to see her.
You can guess that they found blockage and build-up, and so they began the process of softening and removing it. Here is just a sampling of the things she yelled at me, and at them, during the two-hour visit this morning. Note: This sounds really bad but it was mostly funny. I mean, I feel bad that I haven't taught her to use curse words, because I know in her heart, curse words were what she meant. It was hard not to giggle. ;)
They didn't quite accomplish their goal, so we get to go back in two weeks. I can hardly wait! Uh.
Well, it did. She's been tugging at her left ear, causing it to "pop" audibly, for about 4 weeks now, sometimes telling me she can't hear, sometimes saying it hurt, most times calling it her "Stupid ear." Heh. So the doc wanted to see her.
You can guess that they found blockage and build-up, and so they began the process of softening and removing it. Here is just a sampling of the things she yelled at me, and at them, during the two-hour visit this morning. Note: This sounds really bad but it was mostly funny. I mean, I feel bad that I haven't taught her to use curse words, because I know in her heart, curse words were what she meant. It was hard not to giggle. ;)
- I hate this place! These doctors are so mean to kids!
- It HUUUUUUURTS!!
- I am so mad at you for bringing me here!
- Do NOT let them open that door AGAIN! They can NOT come back in here!
- No you are NOT going to hold me! No, I won't.
- You are so MEAN!
- OH. MY. GOSH, this is TERRIBLE.
They didn't quite accomplish their goal, so we get to go back in two weeks. I can hardly wait! Uh.
Friday, April 5
Return
When I get most stressed out, what I always want to do is come to a blank page and just let my fingers go. Just get it all out. Type type type, so fast I don't even care about the grammar. (Except that I do, I always edit as I go, instead of truly doing a free-form, let my fingers go, stream of consciousness exercise).
It's a shame, I've been telling everyone, that the economy today means that companies are all short-staffed, and in positions like mine that aren't the real "drone" positions -- not data entry or widget-producing jobs -- you are basically penalized for taking a vacation. There's no team, anymore, just you, doing your particular function. And if you aren't there to do it, no one else is going to do it for you. So you return from your vacation and, even though you prepared for the time off and finished what needed to be finished beforehand, you're "welcomed" back with a load, a pile, a ton of work that's been waiting for you.
At least that's how it is in my job.
I was off from Good Friday to Easter Wednesday (hee), and came back to two yucky, heart-pounding days. Tasks that HAD to get done. No time to ease back into it. I mean, it's not terrible, it's not life or death, it's just hard to go from extreme to extreme like that. I prefer the days off.
The home repairs got done. We are now overly bathed in new light, from the 6 can-lights in the cooking area of the kitchen, to the new chandelier that doesn't work with our old dimmer switch. It's either ON, and I do mean ON, or off. There ain't no in-between. (As they say.) My kids had become accustomed to my gently switching on our old dimmer while they ate their weekday breakfasts in the 6:00 hour, but no more. Now it's MORNING!! GOOD MORNING! YOU ARE HAVING PANCAKES!
On Monday, the kids and I hiked up the mountain. Fitness goal for March, accomplished. One day after March, but still. They were troopers, and so was I, come to think of it. I didn't even get very sore the next day. Go me!
Yesterday we -- all four of us -- spent the day in Chattanooga, doing every touristy thing they offer. Well, almost every. We dragged the kids up there Tuesday night so they could have the fun of sleeping in a hotel, and I think they DID think it was fun. Maybe it was excessive and unnecessary -- the drive up there is less than 2 hours from our house -- but I got a kick out of them thinking everything in the hotel was SO COOL. "Mommy! There's a RESTAURANT!" "OH, cool, which bed am I sleeping in??" "Look at this KLEENEX on the side of the counter!?" Kids, man. They're the best for perspective. The trip was perfect as far as I was concerned. See Rock City. (Really, do see it. It's awesome.) I know it sounds cheesy but I just love the idea of AJ and KT remembering that trip when they're older, and when they have kids of their own.
They were also very well-behaved and made it fun for us. At one point, DH was saying something and I replied, "Daddy is being silly." AJ leaned over and in perfect theater-whisper, said to me, "Get used to it." It was spot-on. It had nothing to do with the trip, just with the fact that they're getting old enough to start turning into fun people. That sorta makes my heart want to burst.
This weekend we are joining in our neighborhood's yard sale. We didn't know about it until just recently but we've been about to hop-to, since we've been, ah, preparing for (read: procrastinating) our own yard sale for more than a year. Actually we're grateful for the kick in the pants. And for our co-workers who've lent us some card tables to put everything on. No one buys it if it's on the ground, people. I'm going to make as Pinterest-y a mailbox sign as I can make in the next 12 hours, that will say "SHOP HERE!" and have a few swirlies and flowers, and hope it attracts people more than boring ol' "yard sale." Perhaps KT can help me add some glitter.
And then, to come full circle, I'm glad it's the weekend again. I hope I'll feel more refreshed and able to conduct my weekday stuff the way I like, instead of "hurry-hurry-hurry-you've been away too long," next week.
It's a shame, I've been telling everyone, that the economy today means that companies are all short-staffed, and in positions like mine that aren't the real "drone" positions -- not data entry or widget-producing jobs -- you are basically penalized for taking a vacation. There's no team, anymore, just you, doing your particular function. And if you aren't there to do it, no one else is going to do it for you. So you return from your vacation and, even though you prepared for the time off and finished what needed to be finished beforehand, you're "welcomed" back with a load, a pile, a ton of work that's been waiting for you.
At least that's how it is in my job.
I was off from Good Friday to Easter Wednesday (hee), and came back to two yucky, heart-pounding days. Tasks that HAD to get done. No time to ease back into it. I mean, it's not terrible, it's not life or death, it's just hard to go from extreme to extreme like that. I prefer the days off.
The home repairs got done. We are now overly bathed in new light, from the 6 can-lights in the cooking area of the kitchen, to the new chandelier that doesn't work with our old dimmer switch. It's either ON, and I do mean ON, or off. There ain't no in-between. (As they say.) My kids had become accustomed to my gently switching on our old dimmer while they ate their weekday breakfasts in the 6:00 hour, but no more. Now it's MORNING!! GOOD MORNING! YOU ARE HAVING PANCAKES!
On Monday, the kids and I hiked up the mountain. Fitness goal for March, accomplished. One day after March, but still. They were troopers, and so was I, come to think of it. I didn't even get very sore the next day. Go me!
Yesterday we -- all four of us -- spent the day in Chattanooga, doing every touristy thing they offer. Well, almost every. We dragged the kids up there Tuesday night so they could have the fun of sleeping in a hotel, and I think they DID think it was fun. Maybe it was excessive and unnecessary -- the drive up there is less than 2 hours from our house -- but I got a kick out of them thinking everything in the hotel was SO COOL. "Mommy! There's a RESTAURANT!" "OH, cool, which bed am I sleeping in??" "Look at this KLEENEX on the side of the counter!?" Kids, man. They're the best for perspective. The trip was perfect as far as I was concerned. See Rock City. (Really, do see it. It's awesome.) I know it sounds cheesy but I just love the idea of AJ and KT remembering that trip when they're older, and when they have kids of their own.
They were also very well-behaved and made it fun for us. At one point, DH was saying something and I replied, "Daddy is being silly." AJ leaned over and in perfect theater-whisper, said to me, "Get used to it." It was spot-on. It had nothing to do with the trip, just with the fact that they're getting old enough to start turning into fun people. That sorta makes my heart want to burst.
This weekend we are joining in our neighborhood's yard sale. We didn't know about it until just recently but we've been about to hop-to, since we've been, ah, preparing for (read: procrastinating) our own yard sale for more than a year. Actually we're grateful for the kick in the pants. And for our co-workers who've lent us some card tables to put everything on. No one buys it if it's on the ground, people. I'm going to make as Pinterest-y a mailbox sign as I can make in the next 12 hours, that will say "SHOP HERE!" and have a few swirlies and flowers, and hope it attracts people more than boring ol' "yard sale." Perhaps KT can help me add some glitter.
And then, to come full circle, I'm glad it's the weekend again. I hope I'll feel more refreshed and able to conduct my weekday stuff the way I like, instead of "hurry-hurry-hurry-you've been away too long," next week.
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