AJ development log

Geez, do I sound like a downer!

I've been neglecting the important task of keeping logs on AJ's development here, lately. But my mom brought me a dusty 3-ring binder this weekend with handwritten details about mine and my sister's developments -- what would have been her mommy-blog, had there been such a thing in 1974. :) In it, I learned that my sister had a pretty bad ear infection in late 1976, and that I was crawling by 9 months. My pediatrician typed up a little report at every visit, which Mom saved, and he always typed, "If all goes well, return in another year." HA! I love that. "If all goes well."

So anyway, it made me want to keep notes. I guess when they hit 2-and-a-half, it isn't that they're doing NEW things so much anymore (although the ability to find "Caillou" On Demand by pushing several different buttons, all in the correct sequence, is certainly a NEW skill), they're just doing the same things FASTER and BETTER and more smoothly.

1. We now speak in long sentences, like this. "Can I get it mylelf? If lou hold me up I will get dat, Mama."

"Lou (you) may put the CD in Daddy's CD player and then I will push 'Start.'"

"Let go play in Polie's room, Mama. Come on, follow me in 'dere and we will get my ambimals out."

2. We can take off a shirt all by ourselves and can almost push pants down, too -- getting undressed! Fun times! Especially fun if you leave your shirt half-on, half-off on your head, with the sleeves hanging down like doggie ears. Woof, woof.

3. We're learning how to brush our teeth. Or, more to the point, how to spit. I even got some Dixie cups and the classic dispenser for his bathroom. So far, AJ takes a little drink of rinse water, shakes his head back and forth, then spits it out. But it's a start.

4. We use napkins at mealtimes. Sometimes multiple napkins, but hey, better than none! Until about 3 months ago, he was still calling it a "nanny." Now he can say the actual word if he chooses to pronounce all those sounds. (Sometimes I think he's just being lazy.) He's also using his fork and spoon much more easily, learning when to scoop and when to spear something. Also learning that WE DO NOT BANG OUR FORK, AJ.

5. We like Mac and Cheese! I lamented when he was a bit younger that he didn't like the big blue box. What kid doesn't like this stuff? Is he demented?? Answer: Hooray! We ARE related after all. Other favorite foods: cinnamon oatmeal, fish sticks, gummy snacks in any form or fashion, and PB&J.

6. We love to push buttons and run MACHINES. And by that I mean, CD players and DVD players. Cars or dump trucks? Meh. Could take 'em or leave 'em. But this kid definitely wants his MTV. He carries his 4 CDs from room to room; whichever one we're in, he wants to play the music in that stereo, right now. And then when it's done, put the CD back in its case. Oh, the cases! The cases are going to be the death A bit tiresome for me, but I'm glad he has an ear for tunes.

7. Two and a half means the aforementioned tantrums are going strong. This too shall pass this too shall pass this too shall pass...

Molars I guess.

Oh, people, my head is SO not in the game right now.

My head is still spinning on the floor of AJ's bedroom, where last night he had a mental breakdown that should possibly have been recorded for use in child psycho-analysis classrooms, it was that out of hand. Out of his mind. Out of body experience. He threw himself back and forth, scratched at his own face, kicking and punching me, and cried, cried, cried 'til MY heart actually broke into pieces and I cried, too. I know that he's TWO and can't control his emotions or verbalize what it means to just feel crappy for no apparent reason. We have used every technique we can think of. Timeout. Speak calmly. Distract, distract, distract. "No more movies." Hold him tight. Pop his butt when he blatantly disobeys. Nothing gets through. It's "Hold me," then, "NOOOOOOdon'tHOLDmeIdiin'tWANTthaaaat..." Inexplicable. After a quick screaming bath I was down on the floor with him while he thrashed around; I suddenly took his shoulders in my hands, and looked into his eyes.... they were not his happy, sweet soft doe-eyed brown ones that I know. They were from somewhere else. He was heaving with raspy "WAah, wah, wah" sobs, and I told him, "You're scaring mama. You're going to hurt yourself." And I think it was as bad as any parenting day can get. In the end his blankie, the one that always comforts, helped him to take a breath, and we shut off all the lights in the room and I just held him close and whispered, and he finally lost his battle with whatever demon seemed to be inside him. I have to describe it that way, because that is how it felt. That bad. I try to breathe deep about it and say, "He's two." But it feels much, much heavier than that this morning.

It was maybe a tougher weekend than we would have liked. And yet, I really, really wish I were with him right now in case he needs me.

Thursday 13 number 6

Thirteen Things about This Ca-Razy Week Or: "Good GraciousSakesAlive I Am Tired." 1. Monday AJ woke up with fever of 102.7, so despite having stayed up late to bake a yummy Chocolate Ribbon Bundt Cake in time for our January office birthday party, I stayed home. (Sent the cake with Husband.) 2. Monday night I asked Husband to keep the baby monitor on his side of the bed since I had to leave for the airport before dawn the next morning. But I heard a teensy sick-baby sound at 1:47am, and after checking on him, didn't go back to sleep until at least 3:15. This mother's super-sonic hearing-thing sometimes amazes me. And what's with the father's lack thereof? I even turned the volume UP on that stupid monitor! 3. The alarm I had set (for 5:00pm, it turns out) didn't chime on Tuesday morning. Something in me jerked, and my arm flopped over and knocked into the headboard, which is what woke me exactly at 5:00am. Weird. 4. I chose to walk to Terminal A instead of riding the train in Atlanta's airport. To get my exercise, you know. At the top of the stairs I learned Gate 32 was ALL the way at the end of the hall, so I got to walk another half mile or so. Bully for me, and my feet hurt goshdangit. 5. My laptop is entirely too heavy to lug around airports. When are they going to make a REAL feather-weight one? 6. We met with close to seventy people, in thirty-minute increments, over the course of our 2-day visit. And can I just share with you? People are funny. Not so much ha-ha. 7. College cafeteria food, even when it's decent, is just never all that fantastic. 8. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the dryer finally died its impending death. Husband was planning to wash the sofa cushion cover, which had been puked upon by AJ when he was sick Monday. That cover remains Febreezed all to heck, but unwashed. Eew. 9. Our 8:00pm return flight was slightly delayed. Go figure. 10. My dear parents are driving up tonight, bearing furniture that is meaningful to me from my Grandmother's home. I am anxious to curl up in my Mommy's arms and let her pet me and make it all better. 11. Mom, Dad? The house is a wreck and the couch smells like puke. 12. I haven't worked out in a week, even though I took my shoes on my trip for use in the hotel Fitness Centeryeahright. My knees hurt because of not exercising. I am officially old. 13. I (am a VERY good whiner, aren't I? And I) believe I am going to drink some quality beer on Friday night. :) Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

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From the road

I think I could fill an entire notebook with my thoughts about traveling for business, here, for the first time since AJ was born. But I'll only bore you with the three topmost, distilled in my brain while I was taking a hot shower after a day that started 5:07am (alarm didn't go off, but something startled me awake, thank goodness).

1. There are nice people everywhere. One of the women we're meeting with announced she's 33, so I know she's in my peer-level-group-thingy, and she completely reminds me of one of my closest friends, Melissa. It's so comforting to have people like that when you're on a trip you'd rather not be on. (which is ANY business trip, don't you think?) She has the cutest round little East Carolina southern accent, and I'm thinking, they're picturing me as some "agency" person from big-city Atlanta, but really? I grew up surrounded by the love of people with a similar accent (West Texas). Kind, good simple people, just like here in Nowhere, NC (their words, not mine). My boss? Nowhere, AL. We're the same, all of us.

2. The Chicken Marsala was not the right dinner choice. I'd give it a C-plus. The chocolate mousse pie? Definitely the right choice.

3. Why am I in this hotel bathroom on a business trip shaving my legs, really? In a word, motherhood. Perpetuating the species. See, back when women started liberating ourselves and all that, getting ourselves careers... they also decided they should shave their legs in an attempt to woo the lovers/husbands with soft, silky skin, right? Wooing. For the purpose of what? (whispers) s-e-x. For the purpose of what? Besides it being all kinds of fun of course? Well, Babies. The biological, instinctive reason. Motherhood. Liberation allowed us to do all this, including shaving and cutting our hair short, but for what purpose? The same purpose women've always had. Survival of the species. (Did anyone follow that? I'm not sure even I did.)

Clearly, I need to go to bed.

A Musical! In Prime-Time!

Scrubs is without a doubt, one of my favorite shows, and last night it blew me away with its brand-new episode:

A MUSICAL.

Yes, I was a musical-theater junkie in high school. But who knew that all of these actors could actually SING? Even Dr. Cox, which was a shocker. (Not that I know anything about their backgrounds, I'm not that kind of uber-fan.) The music and lyrics were evidently written by the same folks who did "Avenue Q," which I'd never heard of until today, but, hello, a Tony winner? I'm a believer already.

My favorite part was, right before the first commercial, they ended with JD (Zach Braff) closing a blue hospital curtain kind-of in slow-motion. Get it? Curtain? Act One? BRILLIANT. (When I said that to hubby, he called me a Nerd.)

Here, take a look at this trailer. The quality's not great but you'll see what I mean.



(To top that off, The Office and 30 Rock were high-larious last night, too. Man, I love good TV!)

I am feeling :~|

So, to explain. Monday, I was told that I would be in North Carolina next week, for work. I was told, not politely asked could I please plan on this trip as part of my schedule. It felt a little like being suddenly handed a heavy, oversized box as the other person bends down to tie his shoe. Kind-of poorly executed, awkward. But the boss gets to do what he wants I suppose. It's happening a lot lately, I'm getting scheduled for conference calls or meetings without warning. I don't appreciate it.

It isn't that this particular one-night trip is a huge deal. But it is a shock to my system when I haven't business-traveled in, ohsay approximately 30 months. Since the day AJ was born, perhaps. Actually the company has very nicely let me skate by without travel, and I'm grateful. Especially to you, sdw. But I suppose it IS part of the job description: "occasional travel," and it's time for me to return fully to that responsibility.

I'm coming to terms with it. Maybe not in the way you think I mean. At any rate, next Tuesday night I will be staying at a Holiday Inn Express and making my very own coffee on the bathroom vanity, and I'm thinking that, plus an expense-account dinner, might help me feel better about it all. Might.

Wish I'd thought of this!

Man, the Internet is so cool. While everyone else was busy making resolutions to GET SKINNY, Beth was busy making resolutions to Do Good. Now, the imperative phrase "Do Good" speaks to me on a special level (Melessa! wink!), but it's so simple and kind and perfect that everyone should say it to themselves at least few times a day. Do good. Just, hey: do good.

Beth wants, specifically, to do good for kids, and she was inclined to ask everyone else to make this little bitty change in their lives, too. Now it's grown and... oh, just go over there and read this. Then think about what little thing you could do. I don't feel like I have a ton of extra cash floating around, but I did send some cards to some sick kids, and man, was it fun to draw little stick-figure cheerleaders on them and write, "way to go! I'm rooting for you! woo hoo!" in little bitty block letters. Made me feel really good, and hopefully it will do the same for them.

p.s. Somegeek, please explain to me how to make the badge over there to the right be a link. I can't get around blogger's widget tags to add the href code. Rrrrrrr! A programmer I am not.

Sunny, with a chance of sunshine

This weekend was gorgeous in Georgia ("Joe-Juh," AJ says). Seventy degrees or more, and nothing but sun in my neighborhood. Besides that, it was a tantrum-free zone: AJ managed to stay in his happiest mood, three days running. A miracle! He sat with us during dinner. He ran around the house and the yard, singing at the top of his lungs sometimes, playing his heart out. He entertained himself with his letters (fridge magnets), or colors and a coloring book, or Mr. Potato Head. If he did something we asked him not to and we responded, he accepted the "punishments" (No Blue's Clues, no story before bed, no dessert, that kind of thing). He was a dream.

Saturday was a lazy one. We watched two hawks playing in our backyard trees (likely pilfering from other birds' nests). We played a bit of basketball on the driveway. We ate lunch on the back deck, and talk-talk-talked all the way through it. While AJ napped, I played with my wedding china (re-organizing after Christmas), a hobby I adore. AJ had Batman-shaped Chicken Noodle soup for dinner, and slurped it all down. Then Mommy got to go out! A girlfriend and I went to dinner and saw "The Queen." I only fell asleep twice, and thankfully I don't think anyone noticed. Hey, the movie started at 9:50pm. WAY past this little girl's bedtime. The parts I did see were fantastic -- a telescope into the life of the royals. Helen Mirren is a wonder. I have loved everything I've seen her in.

Sunday we took the dog on a lovely walk, and then took a trip to Lowe's. Bought some new shelving for AJ's room (and put it together, whee!), so we could retire the Jenny Lind changing table. My big boy needs room to PLAY in his own space, and now he has it. We're convinced that toys will be dumped OUT of the trendy storage baskets, instead of stored IN -- that's the fun of baskets, I guess, at age 2 -- but maybe it'll be easier to clean up after him. Next steps in this "Growing Up" project: 1) the Potty Training and 2) the crib-to-bed transition. Not that we HAVE to, mind you. I'll keep him in that crib as long as possible. :) And I know, I know, I shouldn't be in a hurry to potty train him necessarily. Three. That's my goal. Poops on the potty by three. I need a strategy, though. He's not responding to our M&Ms offerings anymore. There will probably have to be a pants-free week or weekend in his future.

...sorry, where was I?

Last night we whipped up a quick Shrimp Fra Diavolo with a salad and it was delicious. Refreshing. Filling. Then we made fun of watched Jack Bauer return to glory... for 2 hours. And it's only half finished! More Kiefer Sutherland on tap tonight, and I am *just fine* with that!

I couldn't have asked for a nicer weekend. There was nothing special about it. But it was perfection.

Crowning glory

My tresses had gotten fairly long, so this is
a rather startling change:


AJ's, yesterday, was a
rather startling hat-head:

Be great. Delurk.

The Great Bloggers, they'll do something in real life and then write a fantastic story about it -- one with a beginning, middle, and end, interesting characters, maybe a banana peel, and a made-up phrase like "I guarandingdangtee you," (I'm lookin' at you, Amy) and all of it WORKS. Readers laugh, then line up to read you again. And you get AdSense and start rolling in ca$h. (Isn't that how it goes?)

And there are other bloggers like me, who WANT to do that but once the "new post" page opens up, that cursor blinking... blink... blink... blink... I got nothin'. So I babble and spit and then push Publish. ROCK ON!

But coincidentally, it's (International) DeLurking Week, so I can leave everything in the commenters' hands and not fret. Poof! (Don't you think it needs and deserves "International?" I do. More Oomph.) Time for all you darlings who're askeert of the "Comments" button to pop your heads up and say hello!

Clutter, be gone

Today I'm going to be straightening my desk at the office -- the fourteen slips of scrap paper with various notes & numbers jotted on them are KINDA getting in the way. I shove them around to find some projects sorted into manilla folders, and others just idly hanging around, stuffed into my notebook or the junk pile (code word: "Inbox"). It's a good month for clean-up. In fact, yesterday I chopped all the noggin-clutter that was my hair OFF. Kind-of a Clean Sweep move for the beauty regime. Took me exactly 3 minutes to do my new hair this morning, instead of 10. (It's awesome. Pics to come. Rawr, lurvh the Short!)

Do you like to start afresh in January?

On Epiphany

"Christmas says Christ is here, born into the world. Epiphany says it's up to us to find him, and it may not be easy."

Here's the whole article about Epiphany. Sort-of revises my previous post. :)

Church-going

For the love of, appropriately, GOD!! I submit the following complaints:

-- If AJ attempts to lift and lower the kneelers with an associated BANGING of the pew in front of us... one more time, I will most assuredly scream. Probably during the Consecration. (Today he whined aloud, as we all knelt down, "Noooo! Get up, everybody!")
-- If I have to leave the sanctuary and take AJ into the narthex, where all the other desperate parents are with their infants, 1s and 2-year olds (which AJ actually thinks is a real treat rather than a punishment)... one more time... there will probably be a public spanking right in front of the Fellowship Coffee display.
-- If I have to sit in front of a precious family of three, whose 3-year-old is sitting there in his perfectly tucked-in button-down (because he's being QUIET and STILL), feeling their eyes BORE into me and hearing their brains cluck, "She should really get control of her kid" (because I used to say the same in MY brain, before having a child)... one more time... I will have to slink under the pew myself and crumble into a big heap of embarassment.
-- If I have to spend one more entire Mass alternately hissing at AJ and pleading silently with my eyes for Husband to STEP IN once in a while, for gosh sakes... well. It all just makes me wonder when they tell us Jesus experienced the whole of being human. SURELY he didn't make his Mother Mary feel such things during Temple, did He?

This is why my parents went to Mass separately all those years when Sis and I were toddlers. This is why smart people take the kid to the nursery (not me). This is why mommies and daddies feel harried even in the hour of prayer and worship -- that special, quiet family time on Sundays (ha ha): we're busy chasing down God, and wrestling with the kids. Bargaining please, GOD make him be quiet for just TEN MORE MINUTES so we can sing this one hymn and then get my doughnut and get out of here. (Because surely I deserve it, and you better believe I will eat it in front of him-who-doesn't!) Lord, Have Mercy! Amen.

Thursday Thirteen #5

Thirteen things I like about my job.

(I never ever talk about the things I DO like, except in qualified terms like, "Well, it isn't SO bad..." So here, I'd like to put a positive spin on it, in an effort to be less of a whiny butt.)

1. All our bills are paid thanks to our combined income. I can generally go to Target and not have to worry that $100 is going to break us. (A cool hundy, just about every time! You too?)

2. We have great insurance, a savings account and two retirement accounts, because we both work.

3. Practicalities aside, I work with excellent people. They're like family to me since I've worked here so long. I remember last year's Thanksgiving potluck (2005); we sat down around our conference table and I just smiled to myself, comforted in sharing a meal with such good souls.

4. They let me work 2 days a week from home. I could choose any number of other jobs that absolutely wouldn't allow for that.

5. Our work is always a collaborative effort. You can say to a coworker, any day of the week, "Could you help me with something?" And they will. I like that; I need the good ideas and talents of my colleagues; wouldn't be able to handle it otherwise.

6. We produce some beautiful printed publications; I've always been very proud of our quality and our reputation for good taste in graphic design.

7. It's impressive that we do what we do with only 23 people on staff.

8. I know that if I really have something on my mind, something painful or difficult in my personal life for instance, I can sit down with one of, let's see... 1...2, at least 5 different close personal friends to talk about it. No one will say, "Listen, I've really got to get this proposal done... could we talk later?" Everyone values actual LIFE more than our work. (I think everyone. wink.)

9. They threw me both a wedding shower and a baby shower at those special times in my life.

10. Our office is clean and new, not old and crusty and rat-infested. (Hey, this wasn't true until a year and a half ago. We previously occupied a very crumbly building alongside some bonafide Filthy Rodents. We made it look good, but... this is much better.)

11. My husband works right next door. Handy when I arrive with a flat tire and need someone to help fix it (this past Tuesday)!

12. I've been doing webinars lately -- demos of some of our products -- and I think I'm fairly good at it. Nice to feel like I've mastered something. :) And they're fun products to demo. I've always said if you believe in your products, it makes everything easier.

13. A coworker introduced me to blogging, acutally. So I have to thank her for that!

Links to other Thursday Thirteens
1. Tink
2. Caylynn
3. Raggedy
4. Di
5. Leah
6. Aimee
7. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

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Peppp...eroni Pizza

It's hard, after a long vacation, to focus this feeble mind. (Heck, it's hard for me any time of year.) The following thoughts are about as random as The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (which my husband has been trying to watch for about 2 weeks now).

...December 23rd, "Christmas Eve Eve," the men went to the Thrashers game, and us girls (me, Mom-in-law, and The New Girlfriend of my Bro-in-law) showed AJ how to have a Christmas slumber party. We made cookies together -- AJ did the red and green sprinkles -- snacked on crackers and spinach dip, and sang along with ABC's annual gift of The Sound of Music. His eyes widened when Do-Re-Mi began, since that is one of the main night-night songs I've used since he was an infant (it can go on forever if need be, and Mr. Colicky often needed-be). I was quite pleased that he recognized it. He also liked "Yo-lay-ee, yodel-lay-ee, yodel-lay-hee-hoo" with the goats. :)

...several times while we had company I declared it was time for my shower, and luxuriated in having 5 very capable babysitters who'd have to ENGAGE. (Sometimes it seemed I was the only one willing to actually play with AJ -- down on the floor, entertaining him. It's my instinct I guess, it's just what I do.) He can play by himself, but shouldn't have to if so many folks are around. Anyway, if I up and left, SOMEONE was going to have to get up from the TV, or put down the Zune, or the phone, and Watch.The.Child. They did. AJ got to know which ones would toss him around and make him giggle, and which he could count on to make Play Doh pancakes with syrup. I took great satisfaction from this. And really long showers.

...Christmas morning, AJ threw us for a (fruit) loop. He came downstairs, was slightly intrigued by his Santa presents, which were unwrapped, for about 11 and a half minutes, then declared he wanted his breakfast and a movie. This kid is nothing if not anchored by a routine. Never mind all the gajillion interesting wrapped presents under the tree. We watched him shuffle into the kitchen with his daddy, and then kinda blinked at one another in disbelief. (Don't fret, he came back later and got his paper-ripping on.)

..."Ma? Mo-mm?" Just a new word he's picked up lately, especially when I venture beyond where he can see me. I can't decide if I love it or hate it.

...STARBUCKS GIFT CARDS in my stocking. Plural. Squeeeeeeee.

...Is it me or is Bravo draaaaaagging this Top Chef series right out? Sheesh! Bring back Blow Out, I say. Actually it's really AMAZING the dearth of television worth watching these days. Last night I attempted to sit down with Inside the Actor's Studio. The guest was Matt Damon. Seriously? A total snore.

...Let's not even talk about how much food was eaten by me over the holidays. (See also: Title of post.)

Two-thousand-seven

I have so much to say, and yet, no desire to really say anything at all about our family-filled, crazy, long holiday break. I can't believe I had nearly two full weeks off -- let's see: Thursday afternoon through Tuesday... yep, that's right. Definitely the best gift I received, among lots of other lovely things.

AJ, of course, has been in hog-heaven with his new "ambimals" and Mr. Potato Head and Jesse and Woody from Toy Story 2. Not to mention eating cookies and potato chips more often than not. Hubby reported, however, that today's daycare drop-off did NOT go very well. I'm kinda mad at them because he is supposed to move to new classroom at age 2 and a half -- which he will reach NEXT week, the 8th -- but they made him go this morning. So, aside from having his vacation end like all the rest of us -- that which is HEARTBREAKING enough -- he doesn't get to go back to the familiar cushion of the Early 2s and kind, wonderful Ms. Martice and Ms. 'Nana, whom he loves. Sigh. I almost hope he gives 'em hell today.

Except... that's not on my list of things to do this year -- be spiteful. When I woke up on January 1, and took my first shower of the year, I prayed to leave behind doubt and fear, despair, and my poor attitude. I always like to pretend to wash away the bad things about the previous year, and instead, be washed in hope for this one. Calm. Togetherness. Happiness. It's a little bit hokey but it works for me, and we have an awful lot of those wonderful things.