Another great weekend, man. I don't know what is different this year, but Operation December-Sans-Stress is really working for me.
Oh wait, I just remembered I'm not having anyone stay at my house this year, for the first time in, let's see... three years?! Instead we're descending upon my Mom, which is probably why she's unusually anxious this year. Sorry, Mom! Transferred all of my angst down to you, I guess.
Anyway, after a late evening -- my friend, her husband, and their 6-week-old stopped by on their way to Florida last night -- I had a lovely realization: I got to spend a grateful few moments holding each of the 3 members of my family yesterday.
AJ and I had gone to Mass together in the morning, and during one part while we adults were kneeling, he cozied up in front of me and let me put my arms around him for several minutes. I was so happy to have a moment to say prayers of gratitude just for him... my little man, my firstborn.
At naptime, KT pulled her usual and wouldn't sleep in the crib in broad daylight, so I sat with her in the rocking chair for an hour or so. I snoozed, too, but just watching her sleep, feeling her little breaths, smelling her hair... I had intended to be finishing up laundry during that time, but on the other hand... no. It was perfect, and such a blessing to just be in that moment.
And then at 10:30 when it was time for bed, having the perfect someone to curl up and get warm with, thankful for each other and our happy little life. :)
Three sweet hugs to cherish, all on one day. Best gifts I'll get this year, I'm certain.
a library of my thoughts on motherhood, family, working, and daily life. an attempt to know myself. (hello, self!).
Monday, December 21
Friday, December 18
Tough one
As usual, I should be spending my time posting stories to my work websites instead of this one, but eh. It's December 18th. The mind is not jiving with work right now.
Yesterday was our hardest day of the Christmas season so far. Everything piled up to land on that particular Thursday -- KT's classroom party at daycare, for which I had signed up to bring cupcakes, and no, I didn't allow myself to simply purchase them, I wanted to BAKE and FROST and even SPRINKLE ever-so-lovingly... (perhaps stupid?) plus we had to bring a wrapped gift. So that was to start. (And also the night before until 11... cooling, then frosting.)
My day at work started immediately upon arrival, with a "brainstorming" meeting for 2 hours. A "brainstorming" meeting is appropriately named. Everyone's thoughts were thrown into the middle of the room (well, screen, it was a teleconference), and the person taking notes didn't even do so in a linear fashion -- his notes looked like one of those "tag clouds" on purpose. Argh. That set my mind spinning and I could not stop for at least a few hours afterward. I worked through lunch, tried most unsuccessfully to focus until 4:30, and then...
It was the night of AJ's very first school Christmas program. He played a cow. An adorable one if I do say so, and thank the Baby Jesus there was no sewing involved. I zoomed over to school to pick him up from after-care, grabbed KT, who'd bumped her cheek, pulled out a large clump of hair along with her barette, and stained her cute Christmas sweater-dress at the party -- with my chocolate cupcakes! We patronized a drive-thru, stopped at home to potty, costume up, and let the dog out, met DH, and off we went... to "Penance." This, I learned, is the name the parents have given, over the years, to the 2.5-hour festival of song and narration that is the Christmas program.
I've been meaning to go to Penance all Advent, so that worked out. (har)
Naturally the Kindergarteners were the last to perform.
Also, to remind you, 22-month-old kids do not sit well for 2.5 hour festivals of song and narration. Wiggle Worm! At least she was mostly quiet. We did remember the paci (don't judge, we will wean her someday) and a snack-pack of Craisins -- the silver bullet.
It was not that bad, but sadly, I barely saw AJ during his song, and I was so tired by that point I mostly didn't care. I knew he was having fun, plenty of other paparzzi -- I mean, Kindergarten parents -- got photos, and I guess we'll have several years of this ahead of us! We'll sit closer next time, perhaps. Thankfully, there was no obligatory reception afterwards!
It was a long day, but worth it for the check-box in our Family Life category Christmas pageants. Check! Part of what Christmas is all about, indeed. :)
Yesterday was our hardest day of the Christmas season so far. Everything piled up to land on that particular Thursday -- KT's classroom party at daycare, for which I had signed up to bring cupcakes, and no, I didn't allow myself to simply purchase them, I wanted to BAKE and FROST and even SPRINKLE ever-so-lovingly... (perhaps stupid?) plus we had to bring a wrapped gift. So that was to start. (And also the night before until 11... cooling, then frosting.)
My day at work started immediately upon arrival, with a "brainstorming" meeting for 2 hours. A "brainstorming" meeting is appropriately named. Everyone's thoughts were thrown into the middle of the room (well, screen, it was a teleconference), and the person taking notes didn't even do so in a linear fashion -- his notes looked like one of those "tag clouds" on purpose. Argh. That set my mind spinning and I could not stop for at least a few hours afterward. I worked through lunch, tried most unsuccessfully to focus until 4:30, and then...
It was the night of AJ's very first school Christmas program. He played a cow. An adorable one if I do say so, and thank the Baby Jesus there was no sewing involved. I zoomed over to school to pick him up from after-care, grabbed KT, who'd bumped her cheek, pulled out a large clump of hair along with her barette, and stained her cute Christmas sweater-dress at the party -- with my chocolate cupcakes! We patronized a drive-thru, stopped at home to potty, costume up, and let the dog out, met DH, and off we went... to "Penance." This, I learned, is the name the parents have given, over the years, to the 2.5-hour festival of song and narration that is the Christmas program.
I've been meaning to go to Penance all Advent, so that worked out. (har)
Naturally the Kindergarteners were the last to perform.
Also, to remind you, 22-month-old kids do not sit well for 2.5 hour festivals of song and narration. Wiggle Worm! At least she was mostly quiet. We did remember the paci (don't judge, we will wean her someday) and a snack-pack of Craisins -- the silver bullet.
It was not that bad, but sadly, I barely saw AJ during his song, and I was so tired by that point I mostly didn't care. I knew he was having fun, plenty of other paparzzi -- I mean, Kindergarten parents -- got photos, and I guess we'll have several years of this ahead of us! We'll sit closer next time, perhaps. Thankfully, there was no obligatory reception afterwards!
It was a long day, but worth it for the check-box in our Family Life category Christmas pageants. Check! Part of what Christmas is all about, indeed. :)
Monday, December 14
Observations
When I left the office for my lunch hour yesterday, another girl was leaving the building, too, with her Lean Cuisine already heated, fork in one hand. Her purse was slung over one shoulder, and she was eating as she WALKED. Now that's taking it to a new level. I've been guilty many times of eating while driving, eating "on the run," but never literally. Bizarre, no?
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There seems to be an office tradition of giving a Christmas card to every co-worker. So far the ones I've received haven't even been personalized. Not even a "Dear el-e-e." Just signed at the bottom: -Yatt. (Yes, she gave me one!) I find it odd. Sort-of like passing out valentines in the 5th grade. I can't decide if I'll join in or be a rebel.
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God has a sense of humor. There's a new priest at our church, and he's... well, let's just say he's very DELIBERATE (read: slow) about every. single. thing. he. does. His Mass takes at least an hour and a half. I thought, this past week, that SURELY he wouldn't be saying the 5:30 p.m. Sunday "Life Teen" service. Surely someone as Rite and Ritual-oriented would ask not to say the electric guitars and drums "Praise" service (read: surely we wouldn't have to suffer through his slowness). WRONG-O. We've heard him now 3 weeks in a row. I'm learning patience in yet ANOTHER way.
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All the things I was going to put into this post have flitted back out of my mind. Why does that always happen? If I think of them I'll come back to edit. (You: Wowww, thannnnks.)
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There seems to be an office tradition of giving a Christmas card to every co-worker. So far the ones I've received haven't even been personalized. Not even a "Dear el-e-e." Just signed at the bottom: -Yatt. (Yes, she gave me one!) I find it odd. Sort-of like passing out valentines in the 5th grade. I can't decide if I'll join in or be a rebel.
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God has a sense of humor. There's a new priest at our church, and he's... well, let's just say he's very DELIBERATE (read: slow) about every. single. thing. he. does. His Mass takes at least an hour and a half. I thought, this past week, that SURELY he wouldn't be saying the 5:30 p.m. Sunday "Life Teen" service. Surely someone as Rite and Ritual-oriented would ask not to say the electric guitars and drums "Praise" service (read: surely we wouldn't have to suffer through his slowness). WRONG-O. We've heard him now 3 weeks in a row. I'm learning patience in yet ANOTHER way.
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All the things I was going to put into this post have flitted back out of my mind. Why does that always happen? If I think of them I'll come back to edit. (You: Wowww, thannnnks.)
Friday, December 11
A girl's best friend.
I can't quite get behind the concept of "trading up," when it comes to wedding jewelry. At least, not within my age group. I do understand the basic idea -- what woman doesn't want a big, sparkly diamond, right? My aunt got a beautiful (2-carat, I think) diamond after about 25 or 30 years of marriage -- I still remember her 1-carat original and it was lovely, but her new one does have a real WOW factor. And after 30 years, she certainly deserves something that nice. But my friend Pam is now wearing a beautiful diamond and sapphire band that her husband gave her on their 10th anniversary. She doesn't wear her original anymore (I don't remember it).
Maybe I'm entirely too sentimental, but we're closing in on 9 years and I simply can't fathom turning my wedding set in, just to have a bigger, fancier, more expensive one. THIS is the ring DH picked out for me all by myself. THIS is the one he took out into the natural light, to make sure it was high enough quality. This is the one he put on my finger when he asked me to marry him. It's the one the priest blessed on our wedding day. It always was my style, and just the right size. Sparkly, noticeable, without being overdone.
What I would prefer after 10 or 20 years, I think, is a right-hand ring. Or an extra band to nestle next to my current one. Like I said, what girl doesn't want more sparkles?? I just can't imagine wanting to give up all the sweet, young history of this particular left-hand diamond. Maybe that will change and I'll get tired of it someday. But I doubt it.
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At AJ's school this week, the Kindergarteners visited Santa's Secret Shop. They were asked to "budget" what they wanted to spend on each family member -- and here, let me just interject that for ME, he budgeted "Less than $1.00" while for his Dad and his uncle both, he decided on "$9.00 and up." He was talking about "Nine hundred for Daddy" so I have a feeling he does not understand the concept of money very well, despite our giving him a small allowance when we remember. Some of the room mothers helped them shop and wrapped things up with nametags. "For Grandmommy, From AJ," for instance. Well, when he got into the car after this big event, he immediately pulled my gift out of his bag. He couldn't wait for me to see it, even though I protested every way I knew how. "It isn't Christmas yet, AJ, Mommy should really wait..." Eventually, though, I couldn't force him to wait, especially when he was so excited. He assured me it was something I needed before Christmas. I was convinced it was an ornament for the tree. What else could it be, for Less than $1?! Also, it was his first solo shopping excursion and he was high with the expectation of giving. (Don't you love that? When you've picked the perfect thing and you KNOW they're going to love it?) So, HE ripped open the bag for me. to reveal what I'm now wearing on my right hand:
Maybe I'm entirely too sentimental, but we're closing in on 9 years and I simply can't fathom turning my wedding set in, just to have a bigger, fancier, more expensive one. THIS is the ring DH picked out for me all by myself. THIS is the one he took out into the natural light, to make sure it was high enough quality. This is the one he put on my finger when he asked me to marry him. It's the one the priest blessed on our wedding day. It always was my style, and just the right size. Sparkly, noticeable, without being overdone.
What I would prefer after 10 or 20 years, I think, is a right-hand ring. Or an extra band to nestle next to my current one. Like I said, what girl doesn't want more sparkles?? I just can't imagine wanting to give up all the sweet, young history of this particular left-hand diamond. Maybe that will change and I'll get tired of it someday. But I doubt it.
---------------------------------------
At AJ's school this week, the Kindergarteners visited Santa's Secret Shop. They were asked to "budget" what they wanted to spend on each family member -- and here, let me just interject that for ME, he budgeted "Less than $1.00" while for his Dad and his uncle both, he decided on "$9.00 and up." He was talking about "Nine hundred for Daddy" so I have a feeling he does not understand the concept of money very well, despite our giving him a small allowance when we remember. Some of the room mothers helped them shop and wrapped things up with nametags. "For Grandmommy, From AJ," for instance. Well, when he got into the car after this big event, he immediately pulled my gift out of his bag. He couldn't wait for me to see it, even though I protested every way I knew how. "It isn't Christmas yet, AJ, Mommy should really wait..." Eventually, though, I couldn't force him to wait, especially when he was so excited. He assured me it was something I needed before Christmas. I was convinced it was an ornament for the tree. What else could it be, for Less than $1?! Also, it was his first solo shopping excursion and he was high with the expectation of giving. (Don't you love that? When you've picked the perfect thing and you KNOW they're going to love it?) So, HE ripped open the bag for me. to reveal what I'm now wearing on my right hand:
(It's adjustable in the back.)
And I'm not ever trading this one, either.
Monday, December 7
Small Sacred Moment
I've mentioned before that Christmas tree decorating is never as blissful as I think it should be. This year ours seemed stressful even in the planning, because we decided to do it on a weeknight (last Monday), which of course got pushed to Tuesday because of an unexpected Book Club conflict. Add two parts kids -- one who wants to hang all the ornaments right now right now, and the other who wants to just take them all down -- and it's even messier. I did my part by giving DH The Look, after he griped at AJ to not put all the ornaments on the same branch. I didn't like him adding "Grumpy Daddy" feelings to my tree-trimming. Because I am so perfect, myself, (ahem). (Sorry, DH.) It didn't devolve too badly, and we actually got the ornaments hung in under an hour.
But the perfect moment occurred afterwards, during hot chocolate and cookie-time. Since we were all seated at the table, KT assumed it meant we were about to say the blessing like we do at dinner. "Bess-eeen!" she announced. AJ laughed, and I said, "Well, I guess it would be nice to ask God to bless our Christmas..." I didn't expect us to do it, but AJ quickly put his hands together with a "God, please bless our Christmas," and another giggle.
It seemed small and silly to him, but I found a spot of joy in that request. Yes, please bless our Christmas.
But the perfect moment occurred afterwards, during hot chocolate and cookie-time. Since we were all seated at the table, KT assumed it meant we were about to say the blessing like we do at dinner. "Bess-eeen!" she announced. AJ laughed, and I said, "Well, I guess it would be nice to ask God to bless our Christmas..." I didn't expect us to do it, but AJ quickly put his hands together with a "God, please bless our Christmas," and another giggle.
It seemed small and silly to him, but I found a spot of joy in that request. Yes, please bless our Christmas.
Tuesday, December 1
Thanksgiving 2009 - Report
It feels too late to post a Thanksgiving report, actually, since Christmas and all its materialism and crazy-making has already begun FULL TILT. I am headed to WalMart today, in fact, desperate to shop and not be "behind." (Ridiculous!) But I have to follow-up. Can't have a prelude without a post-, you understand.
Our Thanksgiving was lovely. Really nice. We spent the day snacking on a BLT cheeseball (divine) that was placed on a plate by me but planned, created and executed fully by my MIL, who is wonderful. I just have to say that. She really is a hero. We left the sliding glass door open to the back patio most of the day -- football was on, the kids were in and out playing and enjoying the freedom of that open door, splashing in a small fountain on the porch. To me, that was idyllic. Aside... Something different about our childhoods and our kids' -- I feel like we were allowed to "do our own thing" much more than our kids are. I remember exploring the porches and yards of several grandmothers/great aunts, just us kids, during holiday gatherings. So I was thrilled that we didn't hover (too much) while the kids splashed, giggled and got their Thanksgiving outfits all wet.
Neither kid ate one bite of Thanksgiving dinner. Too full from pretzels and juice all day, I suppose. I didn't much care and let them get down from the table early. Like, almost directly after "God is good, God is great." Next year, no dice. They're going to have to learn manners one of these days.
Our dinner was Yum. I ate a lot. Two things -- no wine or drinky was ever opened/offered, not that I needed it, but it makes everything more festive IMHO. Also, no dish was especially rich or decadent with butter/sugar/garlic or whatever. I missed that aspect. But all good, classic, delicious food (and sweet tea, mmmm!) for which I was, and am, very grateful.
I had a bit of a spiritual revelation while I was there, so if you're not into spiritual revelations, here's the paragraph that you may skip -- see you down the page. I was making my way through the weekend-with-the-in-laws, not feeling bad or put-upon or annoyed, just very NORMAL but slightly WORN from being there. You know how it is. You love your family, but you don't need to be around them 24/7, am I right? The thought occured to me (in the shower, naturally) that I shouldn't be concentrating so much on how I was going to endure the weekend/family members, but instead how I should be bringing Love/Jesus to them. Actually, I thought about Jennifer from Conversion Diary, and just knew that's something she would challenge herself with. (See how blogs are doing good in this world?) But a nice little wake-up call. I tried after that, in the smallest of ways (hugs, smiles, kindness), to be more Jesus-bringing and less "me, me, this is all about me." I wish I had time to write it more eloquently. There are things that will annoy you, when you're with relatives. It is not worth being annoyed. It IS worth showing the people you're with that God exists and love is apparent. Anyway, it's something I hope I can take with me and work on more often, with more people in my life.
Just two other small updates:
-- AJ is finally able to tie his shoes, using the "rabbit ears" method. I have never liked that one, because the resulting knot isn't as strong. But I realized it makes more sense to a kid because it's the same action as the first part -- cross the two sides and loop one under. DUH. I am anxious for him to gain confidence. His teachers refuse to tie anyone's shoes after December. (<--LOVE THEM.)
-- KT is playing like a little girl. I see her feeding her Little People bites of whatever she's eating, patting her doll's back to go night-night, "talking" them, and -- the most fun -- playing with Mommy's lipstick. She puts hers on (I don't really let her, it's twisted down into the tube) and then offers, "Mommy want some?" while putting it on me. What fun!
Our Thanksgiving was lovely. Really nice. We spent the day snacking on a BLT cheeseball (divine) that was placed on a plate by me but planned, created and executed fully by my MIL, who is wonderful. I just have to say that. She really is a hero. We left the sliding glass door open to the back patio most of the day -- football was on, the kids were in and out playing and enjoying the freedom of that open door, splashing in a small fountain on the porch. To me, that was idyllic. Aside... Something different about our childhoods and our kids' -- I feel like we were allowed to "do our own thing" much more than our kids are. I remember exploring the porches and yards of several grandmothers/great aunts, just us kids, during holiday gatherings. So I was thrilled that we didn't hover (too much) while the kids splashed, giggled and got their Thanksgiving outfits all wet.
Neither kid ate one bite of Thanksgiving dinner. Too full from pretzels and juice all day, I suppose. I didn't much care and let them get down from the table early. Like, almost directly after "God is good, God is great." Next year, no dice. They're going to have to learn manners one of these days.
Our dinner was Yum. I ate a lot. Two things -- no wine or drinky was ever opened/offered, not that I needed it, but it makes everything more festive IMHO. Also, no dish was especially rich or decadent with butter/sugar/garlic or whatever. I missed that aspect. But all good, classic, delicious food (and sweet tea, mmmm!) for which I was, and am, very grateful.
I had a bit of a spiritual revelation while I was there, so if you're not into spiritual revelations, here's the paragraph that you may skip -- see you down the page. I was making my way through the weekend-with-the-in-laws, not feeling bad or put-upon or annoyed, just very NORMAL but slightly WORN from being there. You know how it is. You love your family, but you don't need to be around them 24/7, am I right? The thought occured to me (in the shower, naturally) that I shouldn't be concentrating so much on how I was going to endure the weekend/family members, but instead how I should be bringing Love/Jesus to them. Actually, I thought about Jennifer from Conversion Diary, and just knew that's something she would challenge herself with. (See how blogs are doing good in this world?) But a nice little wake-up call. I tried after that, in the smallest of ways (hugs, smiles, kindness), to be more Jesus-bringing and less "me, me, this is all about me." I wish I had time to write it more eloquently. There are things that will annoy you, when you're with relatives. It is not worth being annoyed. It IS worth showing the people you're with that God exists and love is apparent. Anyway, it's something I hope I can take with me and work on more often, with more people in my life.
Just two other small updates:
-- AJ is finally able to tie his shoes, using the "rabbit ears" method. I have never liked that one, because the resulting knot isn't as strong. But I realized it makes more sense to a kid because it's the same action as the first part -- cross the two sides and loop one under. DUH. I am anxious for him to gain confidence. His teachers refuse to tie anyone's shoes after December. (<--LOVE THEM.)
-- KT is playing like a little girl. I see her feeding her Little People bites of whatever she's eating, patting her doll's back to go night-night, "talking" them, and -- the most fun -- playing with Mommy's lipstick. She puts hers on (I don't really let her, it's twisted down into the tube) and then offers, "Mommy want some?" while putting it on me. What fun!
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