Three gifts, all wrapped up

Another great weekend, man. I don't know what is different this year, but Operation December-Sans-Stress is really working for me.

Oh wait, I just remembered I'm not having anyone stay at my house this year, for the first time in, let's see... three years?! Instead we're descending upon my Mom, which is probably why she's unusually anxious this year. Sorry, Mom! Transferred all of my angst down to you, I guess.

Anyway, after a late evening -- my friend, her husband, and their 6-week-old stopped by on their way to Florida last night -- I had a lovely realization: I got to spend a grateful few moments holding each of the 3 members of my family yesterday.

AJ and I had gone to Mass together in the morning, and during one part while we adults were kneeling, he cozied up in front of me and let me put my arms around him for several minutes. I was so happy to have a moment to say prayers of gratitude just for him... my little man, my firstborn.

At naptime, KT pulled her usual and wouldn't sleep in the crib in broad daylight, so I sat with her in the rocking chair for an hour or so. I snoozed, too, but just watching her sleep, feeling her little breaths, smelling her hair... I had intended to be finishing up laundry during that time, but on the other hand... no. It was perfect, and such a blessing to just be in that moment.

And then at 10:30 when it was time for bed, having the perfect someone to curl up and get warm with, thankful for each other and our happy little life. :)

Three sweet hugs to cherish, all on one day. Best gifts I'll get this year, I'm certain.

Tough one

As usual, I should be spending my time posting stories to my work websites instead of this one, but eh. It's December 18th. The mind is not jiving with work right now.

Yesterday was our hardest day of the Christmas season so far. Everything piled up to land on that particular Thursday -- KT's classroom party at daycare, for which I had signed up to bring cupcakes, and no, I didn't allow myself to simply purchase them, I wanted to BAKE and FROST and even SPRINKLE ever-so-lovingly... (perhaps stupid?) plus we had to bring a wrapped gift. So that was to start. (And also the night before until 11... cooling, then frosting.)

My day at work started immediately upon arrival, with a "brainstorming" meeting for 2 hours. A "brainstorming" meeting is appropriately named. Everyone's thoughts were thrown into the middle of the room (well, screen, it was a teleconference), and the person taking notes didn't even do so in a linear fashion -- his notes looked like one of those "tag clouds" on purpose. Argh. That set my mind spinning and I could not stop for at least a few hours afterward. I worked through lunch, tried most unsuccessfully to focus until 4:30, and then...

It was the night of AJ's very first school Christmas program. He played a cow. An adorable one if I do say so, and thank the Baby Jesus there was no sewing involved. I zoomed over to school to pick him up from after-care, grabbed KT, who'd bumped her cheek, pulled out a large clump of hair along with her barette, and stained her cute Christmas sweater-dress at the party -- with my chocolate cupcakes! We patronized a drive-thru, stopped at home to potty, costume up, and let the dog out, met DH, and off we went... to "Penance." This, I learned, is the name the parents have given, over the years, to the 2.5-hour festival of song and narration that is the Christmas program.

I've been meaning to go to Penance all Advent, so that worked out. (har)

Naturally the Kindergarteners were the last to perform.

Also, to remind you, 22-month-old kids do not sit well for 2.5 hour festivals of song and narration. Wiggle Worm! At least she was mostly quiet. We did remember the paci (don't judge, we will wean her someday) and a snack-pack of Craisins -- the silver bullet.

It was not that bad, but sadly, I barely saw AJ during his song, and I was so tired by that point I mostly didn't care. I knew he was having fun, plenty of other paparzzi -- I mean, Kindergarten parents -- got photos, and I guess we'll have several years of this ahead of us! We'll sit closer next time, perhaps. Thankfully, there was no obligatory reception afterwards!

It was a long day, but worth it for the check-box in our Family Life category Christmas pageants. Check! Part of what Christmas is all about, indeed. :)

Observations

When I left the office for my lunch hour yesterday, another girl was leaving the building, too, with her Lean Cuisine already heated, fork in one hand. Her purse was slung over one shoulder, and she was eating as she WALKED. Now that's taking it to a new level. I've been guilty many times of eating while driving, eating "on the run," but never literally. Bizarre, no?

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There seems to be an office tradition of giving a Christmas card to every co-worker. So far the ones I've received haven't even been personalized. Not even a "Dear el-e-e." Just signed at the bottom: -Yatt. (Yes, she gave me one!) I find it odd. Sort-of like passing out valentines in the 5th grade. I can't decide if I'll join in or be a rebel.

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God has a sense of humor. There's a new priest at our church, and he's... well, let's just say he's very DELIBERATE (read: slow) about every. single. thing. he. does. His Mass takes at least an hour and a half. I thought, this past week, that SURELY he wouldn't be saying the 5:30 p.m. Sunday "Life Teen" service. Surely someone as Rite and Ritual-oriented would ask not to say the electric guitars and drums "Praise" service (read: surely we wouldn't have to suffer through his slowness). WRONG-O. We've heard him now 3 weeks in a row. I'm learning patience in yet ANOTHER way.

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All the things I was going to put into this post have flitted back out of my mind. Why does that always happen? If I think of them I'll come back to edit. (You: Wowww, thannnnks.)

A girl's best friend.

I can't quite get behind the concept of "trading up," when it comes to wedding jewelry. At least, not within my age group. I do understand the basic idea -- what woman doesn't want a big, sparkly diamond, right? My aunt got a beautiful (2-carat, I think) diamond after about 25 or 30 years of marriage -- I still remember her 1-carat original and it was lovely, but her new one does have a real WOW factor. And after 30 years, she certainly deserves something that nice. But my friend Pam is now wearing a beautiful diamond and sapphire band that her husband gave her on their 10th anniversary. She doesn't wear her original anymore (I don't remember it).

Maybe I'm entirely too sentimental, but we're closing in on 9 years and I simply can't fathom turning my wedding set in, just to have a bigger, fancier, more expensive one. THIS is the ring DH picked out for me all by myself. THIS is the one he took out into the natural light, to make sure it was high enough quality. This is the one he put on my finger when he asked me to marry him. It's the one the priest blessed on our wedding day. It always was my style, and just the right size. Sparkly, noticeable, without being overdone.

What I would prefer after 10 or 20 years, I think, is a right-hand ring. Or an extra band to nestle next to my current one. Like I said, what girl doesn't want more sparkles?? I just can't imagine wanting to give up all the sweet, young history of this particular left-hand diamond. Maybe that will change and I'll get tired of it someday. But I doubt it.

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At AJ's school this week, the Kindergarteners visited Santa's Secret Shop. They were asked to "budget" what they wanted to spend on each family member -- and here, let me just interject that for ME, he budgeted "Less than $1.00" while for his Dad and his uncle both, he decided on "$9.00 and up." He was talking about "Nine hundred for Daddy" so I have a feeling he does not understand the concept of money very well, despite our giving him a small allowance when we remember. Some of the room mothers helped them shop and wrapped things up with nametags. "For Grandmommy, From AJ," for instance. Well, when he got into the car after this big event, he immediately pulled my gift out of his bag. He couldn't wait for me to see it, even though I protested every way I knew how. "It isn't Christmas yet, AJ, Mommy should really wait..." Eventually, though, I couldn't force him to wait, especially when he was so excited. He assured me it was something I needed before Christmas. I was convinced it was an ornament for the tree. What else could it be, for Less than $1?! Also, it was his first solo shopping excursion and he was high with the expectation of giving. (Don't you love that? When you've picked the perfect thing and you KNOW they're going to love it?) So, HE ripped open the bag for me. to reveal what I'm now wearing on my right hand:

(It's adjustable in the back.)
And I'm not ever trading this one, either.

Small Sacred Moment

I've mentioned before that Christmas tree decorating is never as blissful as I think it should be. This year ours seemed stressful even in the planning, because we decided to do it on a weeknight (last Monday), which of course got pushed to Tuesday because of an unexpected Book Club conflict. Add two parts kids -- one who wants to hang all the ornaments right now right now, and the other who wants to just take them all down -- and it's even messier. I did my part by giving DH The Look, after he griped at AJ to not put all the ornaments on the same branch. I didn't like him adding "Grumpy Daddy" feelings to my tree-trimming. Because I am so perfect, myself, (ahem). (Sorry, DH.) It didn't devolve too badly, and we actually got the ornaments hung in under an hour.

But the perfect moment occurred afterwards, during hot chocolate and cookie-time. Since we were all seated at the table, KT assumed it meant we were about to say the blessing like we do at dinner. "Bess-eeen!" she announced. AJ laughed, and I said, "Well, I guess it would be nice to ask God to bless our Christmas..." I didn't expect us to do it, but AJ quickly put his hands together with a "God, please bless our Christmas," and another giggle.

It seemed small and silly to him, but I found a spot of joy in that request. Yes, please bless our Christmas.

Cookies!

Sugar cookies (pre-made dough), "frosted" with peanut butter or Nutella, and decorated with white choc chips, mini choc chips, pretzels and M&Ms. Kid friendly (if a mess), Mother devoured three approved.

Thanksgiving 2009 - Report

It feels too late to post a Thanksgiving report, actually, since Christmas and all its materialism and crazy-making has already begun FULL TILT. I am headed to WalMart today, in fact, desperate to shop and not be "behind." (Ridiculous!) But I have to follow-up. Can't have a prelude without a post-, you understand.

Our Thanksgiving was lovely. Really nice. We spent the day snacking on a BLT cheeseball (divine) that was placed on a plate by me but planned, created and executed fully by my MIL, who is wonderful. I just have to say that. She really is a hero. We left the sliding glass door open to the back patio most of the day -- football was on, the kids were in and out playing and enjoying the freedom of that open door, splashing in a small fountain on the porch. To me, that was idyllic. Aside... Something different about our childhoods and our kids' -- I feel like we were allowed to "do our own thing" much more than our kids are. I remember exploring the porches and yards of several grandmothers/great aunts, just us kids, during holiday gatherings. So I was thrilled that we didn't hover (too much) while the kids splashed, giggled and got their Thanksgiving outfits all wet.

Neither kid ate one bite of Thanksgiving dinner. Too full from pretzels and juice all day, I suppose. I didn't much care and let them get down from the table early. Like, almost directly after "God is good, God is great." Next year, no dice. They're going to have to learn manners one of these days.

Our dinner was Yum. I ate a lot. Two things -- no wine or drinky was ever opened/offered, not that I needed it, but it makes everything more festive IMHO. Also, no dish was especially rich or decadent with butter/sugar/garlic or whatever. I missed that aspect. But all good, classic, delicious food (and sweet tea, mmmm!) for which I was, and am, very grateful.

I had a bit of a spiritual revelation while I was there, so if you're not into spiritual revelations, here's the paragraph that you may skip -- see you down the page. I was making my way through the weekend-with-the-in-laws, not feeling bad or put-upon or annoyed, just very NORMAL but slightly WORN from being there. You know how it is. You love your family, but you don't need to be around them 24/7, am I right? The thought occured to me (in the shower, naturally) that I shouldn't be concentrating so much on how I was going to endure the weekend/family members, but instead how I should be bringing Love/Jesus to them. Actually, I thought about Jennifer from Conversion Diary, and just knew that's something she would challenge herself with. (See how blogs are doing good in this world?) But a nice little wake-up call. I tried after that, in the smallest of ways (hugs, smiles, kindness), to be more Jesus-bringing and less "me, me, this is all about me." I wish I had time to write it more eloquently. There are things that will annoy you, when you're with relatives. It is not worth being annoyed. It IS worth showing the people you're with that God exists and love is apparent. Anyway, it's something I hope I can take with me and work on more often, with more people in my life.

Just two other small updates:

-- AJ is finally able to tie his shoes, using the "rabbit ears" method. I have never liked that one, because the resulting knot isn't as strong. But I realized it makes more sense to a kid because it's the same action as the first part -- cross the two sides and loop one under. DUH. I am anxious for him to gain confidence. His teachers refuse to tie anyone's shoes after December. (<--LOVE THEM.)

-- KT is playing like a little girl. I see her feeding her Little People bites of whatever she's eating, patting her doll's back to go night-night, "talking" them, and -- the most fun -- playing with Mommy's lipstick. She puts hers on (I don't really let her, it's twisted down into the tube) and then offers, "Mommy want some?" while putting it on me. What fun!

Thanksgiving 2009 - Preview

I have to admit, I'm feeling a little left out of all the Thanksgiving stress. We're going to my in-laws' in Savannah, meaning road trip, meaning I'm not even required to bring a dish, meaning I am totally sidestepping a lot of what makes the holiday, for women. Granted, it's the hard part, but still. I don't like to miss out, especially on stressy things. (They give me a reason to blog.)

I was at Publix Sunday to just grab a few items to get us through the week before we leave town (how that turned into $85, I don't know), and I walked by the filled-to-capacity frozen turkey bin. There were couples milling about, chatting about how many pounds they need, young moms calculating how long will it take to thaw the bird... it seemed like a pretty major event right there in the poultry aisle, and I just skipped right through to the cereals.

Sort-of a bummer.

I've hosted Thanksgiving at my house exactly once, I think, when AJ was 5 months old. We held his baptism that same weekend. I'm pretty sure I was stressed about the dinner; I may have even had an emotional outburst but I don't remember (no need to chime in and remind me if I did, family). But I LOVED getting out my pretty wedding china, finding a new set of placemats and napkins, and getting to make my Grandmother's famous dressing. When we go to my in-laws' I always think I want to bring some of that dressing -- maybe make it a week ahead, freeze it, and transport it down in a cooler -- but I've not done that yet. I don't really think far enough ahead.

The set-up of my in-laws' house makes it difficult to do what I consider the important part of the holiday -- socialize and work together. Houses that are good for those things have a "flow" through the kitchen. MIL's kitchen, through no fault of her own, has one way in/out. The kitchen's like a dead-end. You can't just easily mill about, chatting and drinking wine, you know? You also can't hang out on one end of the counter and help with cutting or peeling -- or at least I can't, because the kids tend to velcro onto my pants and the kitchen is also rather small. Someone is bound to get stepped on. Oh, I don't know. I really want to make it a happy holiday, and to be the helpful daughter-in-law, and to have all of that social, warm, working-together feeling. In the past, I have felt like we spend the day just waiting around for MIL to finish cooking, already, so we can eat.

Somehow I don't remember her having appetizers. I think it'd be better if there were appetizers. Maybe I'll try to throw some easy dips together for the cooler.

(Now I can stress out like the rest of you.)

Baby log

KT is talk, talk, talking. She's 21 months and 4 days today. Here are some of her greatest hits.

'eah. She doesn't say "Yeah," just "'eah." Whereas her brother was famous for "I do." (AJ, are you hungry? --I dooooo. KT, are you hungry? ---eah.)

Bah-bye, later. All one word. --bah-bye, Keh-see, 'ater.

Come payyyyy.

owwy, Ah-ex. (sorry, Alex) Always with a leaned-in hug.

Namek. (napkin)

Cay-tiss Boh. (craisin bowl) This means she wants her Craisins in a bowl, or wants Craisins in general.

Teeeef. This kid loves to brush her teeth. Well, loves to chew on the toothbrush anyway, and fill the landfills with 17 Dixie cups a day.

Po-yee-un. (Napoleon) We're amazed that she articulates his whole name, sometimes all four syllables, so well.

Mee-mouse. If you don't know, I can't be friends with you any more. Just kidding -- Mickey!

eee-behsss. (Three bears) One of our favorite books.

ah-piddahs. (The Very Hungry Caterpillar) Our other favorite book! When she's looking for it, she calls out, Ah-piddahs? Ah-piddahs?

Shoooess. Anna. (Suzanna). Just this past weekend she met her Aunt Suzanna and I love how she says her name. Like two words.

There are many more, and she's making little sentences, too. I love this age. The explosion of language is adorable.

7 Quick Takes

1. We've not been sleeping well.

2. On a happier note, we're going on a road trip this weekend. :) Well, it's a mostly happy note -- any road trip with two little guys is a hassle, to put it mildly. But we're going to my in-laws', and tomorrow MIL is going to take care of the kids while DH and I attend the Homecoming football game at his alma mater. I'm excited about the events. Not having attended a football school -- my college doesn't even have a team -- I don't really know what to expect. His school is not one of the BIG southern football schools, but still. We're playing a big rival, I'm going to meet a friend of his that I've heard about for YEARS but never seen in the flesh, and it's a full day of "Date-Night," with no cash-only bill at the end. Pretty awesome.

3. I think I mentioned we got iPhones 2 weeks ago. We're loving them. I downloaded a Grocery List app the other day and I'm itching to use it. Did you get that? I'm itching to make a grocery list and do the grocery shopping. Weird, no? It came in handy this morning when I used the last Equal packet, but didn't have time to write it down on the pad on the fridge (still transitioning from paper). After I got out the door and into the car, however, I quickly added it on the phone before I forgot. Anyone have a favorite App that I absolutely must get? Specifically a free one?

4. I tried Raspberry Zinger tea again this morning in reference to #1, and I just am NOT a tea person. Blech.

5. Okay, this is the epitome of DUMB: All this time, I've been operating under the assumption that my key-card for my office was NOT programmed with access to the workout room on the lower level of our building. I had heard you had to request it specifically, and never did. But today I was down on that level and thought, "Hmm...." Well, guess what? The door frakking OPENED, and I DO have access! There's all the typical equipment plus an ab ball and a TV. I am so damn excited (and forehead-smacky) about this I can't even tell you. The fire stairs thing hadn't been really calling my name lately so this will be a nice option. If I use it. No promises.

6. I am loving all of your NaBloPoMo posts. Thank you for entertaining me. I'm hopeful AT&T's 3G Network will accommodate me as we drive through Georgia tonight, so I can catch up with everyone. In-between seat-jumping and DVD-changing, of course.

7. By staying focused this morning, I've crossed 4 of the 5 main things off my list (work). Plus 2 blog posts. Here's to success. Happy weekend to everyone!

...more quick takes at Jen's...

(Untitled)

So, DH's doctor confirmed he has elevated blood pressure and I've ...turned to alcohol.

Do you think it has something to do with the kids?

YOU'D BE RIGHT.

...20-month-old girl (read: TERRIBLE TWOS) and a 5-year-old boy... what idiots thought this child-spacing arrangement would work out??

It's just the constant WHINING. Both of them. And yes, KT's been fighting a cold again, so I understand she feels yucky, and I understand she doesn't see us all day while we're at work, so when we're at home she wants to be with us -- I want to be with her too -- but for the love of JACK. Mama's hip is unavailable for sitting, sweetie. You are TOO BIG. (How did you get so big?) Can we please just hold hands? I know I shouldn't wish it away but...

And AJ. Sigh. I don't want to record it all here, because I want it to fade to a distant memory that I can't recall in 20 years when he asks me. I want to say, "Oh, honey, you were a handful... but all kids are. You outgrew it." It's about respecting adults and that's all I'll say.

This morning, as I was trying to swipe my face with Bare Minerals and wipe snot off KT's cheek for the forty-seventh time, and catch the weather report (guess what? Rain), and be understanding and patient but at the same time get AJ to please not squoosh his foot into his shoe while it is still tied, they are brand-new SHOES AND THEY'LL STRETCH OUT AND BE RUINED!!!.... Well, I don't think I got that mad, but thinking about it now I'm getting flustered again... I tried to look at it from 20 years out, knowing that it WILL fade to nothing in my mind, if I don't blog it. It will.

I hate --yes, Blogger, "strong and slash strong"-- the morning hustle, have I said that? I wish we could re-tool that process mightily.

I should apologize now.

(click to enlarge)




p.s. One other problem, I can't go back to edit, "Keyboard, ho!" to something less dorky.

More about happy

For those who don't know, my job is in e-business and PR. I do a lot of writing -- some web pages and articles, mostly short press releases, magazine articles, intro paragraphs, headlines, and e-newsletters about our company and our products, and related things. Health/wellness is a frequent topic, and something I'm personally interested in (though not good about sticking to my own self!). I do some hiring of freelance writers, some photography selection, and list/database maintenance of our subscribers.

In theory, I should love my work. Sure there's that database thing, but there are always administrative things about a desk job. Mostly the job is writing, and clearly, I like to write (blog much?). I always did well in school with papers, and studied languages so I should have a good command of the English one. (Save for that last sentence.) However, the writing doesn't always come easily to me. It's not like, "Oooh, today I get to write that article for XX magazine. Yay!" No. I procrastinate and fret over it. (When I finally dig in, I'm fine.) One important note,I LOATHE doing interviews, which is pretty much required for writing well-informed news articles. I never had any intention of being a reporter, and my work does require a bit of that technique.

Tess's comment yesterday got me thinking. Of course I love some things about my particular job. My company is Good. I work close to home. They're flexible and family-friendly. It allows me my lifestyle. Plus, I get to work with photography/design. But somehow I still don't love the work I do. But I hear of people who own a business - like, say, a lovely little bakery. Or who work with animals. Or... I don't know, actors?... who really get a rush from the actual WORK they do.

I would like to have that, someday.

So it seems I should be on the lookout for a different job. Really take the plunge and FIND what it is that would make my heart sing. I even know how to explore this: I've read self-help books before. Volunteer. Take a class. Network in my off-time.

Oh the other hand: Why can't I just be happy with the status quo? Why should I have to RISK things -- security, pay level, etc. -- when I already have such an amazing life? Shouldn't I just be GRATEFUL for what I have and not focus on the small details that maybe aren't so great? I mean, life isn't guaranteed to be 100% wonderful. And work requires work, otherwise they wouldn't call it that.

I think I'm going around in circles. But parsing it out is helpful, so bear with me.

I did contemplate some things that could be personal "Resolutions," if I were going to try a Happiness Project.

1. Breathe deeply throughout the day. (being mindful, stopping the "I don't like this, I'm bored" monologue in my head for a few minutes to just Be... etc.)


2. Listen to more music. Seriously, I need to fire up the iPod MUCH more often for a mood lifter.


3. Dress well. (Dress better.) This might seem silly, but since my company is so great, we don't have to dress up in heels and hose all the time. But when I wear pants that don't fit well, or a plain t-shirt that I bought at Target 2 years ago... it does nothing for my mood. (Duh.) One reason I work is so I can afford things, and nice clothes need to be one of those things. I've dressed better the last couple of days (IMHO), and I HAVE felt better. Not to mention more professional. (Own it!)


4. Connect with people each day. Including my husband. Sometimes we're just on auto-pilot, you know? We talk, but don't really engage. At work, too -- instead of a non-committal, "Hey, how are you?" I need to put some effort into it. ASK people about their families. Don't hole up in my cubicle, counting down 'til 4:30 pm.

It's time I really work on this, and I'm going to start with these little ideas. Everybody knows if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. ;)

Happy

I've been thinking a lot about happiness.

For one thing, on Sunday morning DH called me out for being generally "serious." Not a bad thing, just the way I am, he said. I pouted for the rest of the day about it. See, in my mind I turned it around so that serious = "no fun," which is not what he was implying, but just the way my mind sometimes works. (We talked about it and it's fine -- Honey, I only bring it up because it fits in with the story.)

Aside from that, I've been looking at a blog called The Happiness Project, for work actually. Gretchen Rubin, the blog's author, has done a year-long study of a ton of theories about happiness. She's read books, analyzed research, etc. It's interesting. Kind-of a self-help book, which I'm sometimes drawn to, but in a more detatched way. Like, "I'm studying these self-help (hippie-dippie meditation) principles... not applying them to my life necessarily."

Now. Exactly what I do NOT NEED is another Project to tend. (Speaking of which, someone throttle me the next time I bring up the 30-Day Shred, okay? Let's just put an end to those declarations once and for all.) And in reading Start your own Happiness Project, I get all flustered and overwhelmed because there's a Toolbox and you're supposed to make resolutions, captial R. In my experience, those are sometimes a recipe for failure, and for KNOWING your own failure, because you wrote them down and then if you don't get to check them off... Doom. FAIL.

So I may or may not sign up on her site. However... I like the idea of being more mindful and aware of my level of happiness. Not meditating, per se, but pausing to breathe every so often.

I have more to say (I think) about this -- part of which is that I find myself too often unhappy, and I can't figure out why. Hormones play a part, but it's mostly about my work. Earlier this week I was lolling the words "life coach" and "career coach" around in my head, because even though I like my job okay, I don't jump out of bed excited about it. I don't even walk into the building excited. It's just a job. And They Say...Theyyyyyyyy!.... that people really exist who LOVE what they do.

I want to believe that, but I'm not sure I do. I think anything you do as work -- repetitively, every day, and specifically in order to earn money -- will sometimes feel like work, not like fun. But I could be wrong. So I want to explore it a little more. Anyone with insight? Anyone reading this who truly adores their job? Please tell me about it.

I also wanted to share this post (read the comments too) with my fellow parenting buddies. It's got some great tips and tricks.

Good morning

Jillian Michaels and I are friends again thanks to Comcast's On Demand, and yesterday I did Day One, Level One of the Shred. ....Owwwww..... My shoulders, thighs and abs are making themselves known today. I saw Kristen Chase's amazing results -- note, that is 7 months' worth of doing the DVD, not 30 days -- and maybe I got motivated. With my jaw hanging open! Does she not look amazing??? I SO want to do 30 consecutive days, but GEEZ,it's hard to fit it in -- even just 20 minutes. I know, I know, get up earlier, and after the kids go to bed... what I did yesterday, actually, was to go home at lunch and do it, which might be the best option for me, thank you Job-Six-Miles-From-House. But still, time. TIIIIIIIIME. There's never enough of it.

Anyway I'm attempting, once again, to try. Stupid ten pounds.

Today I can't get home at lunch to work out, because instead I'm going to our photo studio for a product shoot. I love that I get to say things like that. Having art and photography as part of your job is pretty cool. In fact, since I began working, that part about it has always made me smile. I'm sure I've mentioned one of my early days in my first job, toting around a big binder of 35mm slides, from which I needed to choose some images for a brochure. I couldn't believe that a job really existed where I got to choose photos, using my loupe at a big light table, and get paid for it. Funny thing, though, I've never wanted to BE a photographer. The word "aperture" scares me unnecessarily.

Recap full of gratitude

Maybe the best way to start off a Monday would be in reflection. This weekend, as I announced on Facebook, was crazy-full of activities, and as it turned out, a record-breaking COLD one. So while my face is now raw from the wind, my heart, I guess, is softened and happy...? or something?

Thursday evening I took AJ to the school's monthly skating party. THAT was a flashback in time! My school did the same thing when I was in 7th grade. So funny. He had a blast, and I chatted with some other moms, who were nice. (BFF wasn't there, so I had to make do. Heh.) At our school they pair up each Kindergartener with a "Fourth Grade Buddy." It's a rather big deal -- they sit with each other during weekly Masses -- and so I was impressed when Kyle, AJ's buddy, came and introduced his mom to me. And she couldn't have been sweeter. This school makes me get teary every other day, I swear. It's such a community. During the dance contest, when all the kids were out on the skating rink in their sock feet, doing the Macarena, and little AJ was running/sliding/whirling/shaking and generally having the time of his life, I said to myself, "Is there anything better than a moment like this? Watching 100 kids laugh and dance?" There's really not.

Work sponsored a bike race on Saturday, and the best part about it was stopping at Panera Bread afterwards and having corn chowder in a sourdough bowl. (Man, those sourdough bowls -- a treat very rarely allowed! MMM CARBY CARB GOODNESSMRFHMMMM.) We were cold since we started at 7:00 am; the race wasn't as organized as it could have been, it eventually started to rain, and... just.. that soup was awesome. I did enjoy volunteering at an aid station, it's too bad about the weather.

Later, daycare had its annual Fall Festival. It's always funny for the little ones to see their teachers all dressed up in costume. KT was so confused. She thought, too, that the best part of the day was warm liquid fortification in the form of hot chocolate. She tried the moon-walk jumpy thing, giggled once, fell down, and promptly wanted out. I don't blame her.

We went from there to our friends' home for their annual Pumpkin Carving party and bonfire, where AJ and his daddy were awarded the Grand Prize for best jack-o-lantern. The hostess told me later it was because she asked AJ how he came up with the design and he answered, "I used my brain." HAAAA! Little smart-ass! Though I don't think he intended to sound like one, he was just being honest.

He's given me lots of opportunities over the last few days to be impatient, and I, unfortunately, have delivered. FIVE IS HARD. This morning I uttered a classic Mom phrase: "That child is going to kill me... or else I'm going to kill HIM."

So patience is what I prayed for during Mass yesterday. And I was glad to report that we made it to Mass. Bundled up, and everything. The choir is sounding better, I think, with their new director, and I'm still not ready to rejoin them despite lots of waffling about it.

(Oh, speaking of waffles, I hope I won the Breakfast Basket from the Fall Festival's silent auction -- it had a waffle maker in it.)

Anyway, patience. And gratitude.

Girl crush

On the heels of that post about my dearest friend from high school (and still today!), and how much I miss her, I can report that I have a potential new friend made through AJ's school. This has been on my to-do list, because long-distance friends are wonderful, but local friends are sort-of imperative.

I say "friend," but I guess we're still really in the flirting, getting-to-know-you stage. I sat next to her briefly at the very first classroom orientation in August and was struck by her adorable haircut and put-together outfit. Hee. I was like Tina Fey's character on 30 Rock, feeling like I looked studious, but probably disheveled. She was dressed like I wished to be -- a sort-of Katie Couric to my Tina. Hee. She told me that night where she works, and I thought, "Dingdingding! Another working mom - we can relate to each other, SCORE." Maybe she will be less able, like me, to meet people by volunteering from 8-3 at the school.

So at the Kindergarten Moms' coffee 2 weeks ago, we waved and sat near each other... but not too near, both of us wanting to remain open to other friendships, and not seem stalker-y. (At least, that was what I was doing.) I nearly emailed her that day after the coffee, but hesitated.

This past weekend, finally, the school had its annual fall picnic, and (hooray!) she was one of the first faces I saw when we arrived. We introduced our husbands and followed each other around the whole day, really. (Puppy love!) I'm being silly, but really, it does seem like she's as interested in being my friend as I am in being hers. (oh, how the heart flutters!) Her daughter sits at the same table as AJ. Fate! We both work in marketing. We have a mutual friend/acquaintance, it turns out. She even cries at Disneyworld like me. (You know how it is, the MAGIC and the DREEEEEAMS and all.)

This friendship is obviously meant to be. I have to tell myself to act natural. Smile. (Not too much!) Hi, my name is...

I miss you

I remember Fridays were when we wore our short skirts to school, and put ribbons in our hair. It was great unless we had to wear the bulky sweater with the big letter safety-pinned onto the front. Or the itchy wool green skirt.

Fridays were when we got out of afternoon classes a bit early in order to stretch and get ready for the pep rallies. (We didn’t need to be in classes, anyway, we were much too smart for them.)

Fridays we sometimes just stayed at school until the games started – although I can’t remember exactly what we did for dinner... Taco Bell?

Fridays we decorated lockers and stadium corners with balloons and posters (I know this because there is yearbook evidence).

Fridays as the sun went down, we glittered and smiled and jumped high into the air. These were the days before our knees couldn’t take that kind of punishment.

Fridays we looked into the stands, or onto the field, at whatever boys we were drooling over at the time. In between cheers we watched them and hoped they turned to watch us once in a while.

Fridays we shouted at everyone to “Come on, everybody, clap your hands!”

Fridays we -- you and I -- probably walked arm in arm, grinning, gossiping. We carried our sports bags and our pom-poms with pride. Or at least that is how I want to remember it.

Some Fridays we spent the night at your house. I don’t remember spending the night at mine, but surely we did, right? Those were the best times. What is more fun than staying up late, playing with makeup, and watching movies in the dark?

Fridays. Game days. Long-ago, happy days.

From the hallowed halls of FB Notes

Can you fill this out without lying? You've been tagged, so now you need to answer all the questions HONESTLY. To do this, copy this entire message, then go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, delete my answers, and type yours. Easy!

Next, tag people (in the right hand corner of the app). Click publish (at the bottom). Have fun! :)

1. What was the last thing you put in your mouth?
Coffee. W/FF half n half, Splenda, and a sprinkle of cinnamon on top.

2. Where was your profile picture taken?
In my downstairs bathroom, by me.

3. Can you play Guitar Hero?
Yes! And Rock Band, too. (Am I answering this HONESTLY??? It's very important.)

4. Name someone who made you laugh today.
It's early, no one has yet. Oh wait, I was skimming Twitter and @Sundry's photo link made me laugh.

5. How late did you stay up last night and why?
11:00. But I napped from 8:30 to 9:00... ;)

6.If you could move somewhere else, would you?
Depends on where. In a heartbeat I'd go to Pensacola if good jobs were available. And lately I've been wanting to move to a new house.

7. Ever been kissed under fireworks?
Yes. New Years Eve/Day (midnight) of this new millenium (2000). :)

8. Which of your friends lives closest to you on facebook?
Other than DH (obviously), it would have to be my neighbor J.S.

9. Do you believe exes can be friends?
It depends. I am (Facebook) friends with 2 exes, and not at all with one. Luckily they all live far away.

10. How do you feel about Dr Pepper?
I feel good about it. (What?) No, I like it. Reminds me of Texas. I wish more restaurants served Diet Dr. Pepper.

11. When was the last time you cried really hard?
Hmm. I don't know.

12. Who was the last person you took a picture of?
The kids, posing with their great-uncle this past weekend.

13. Was yesterday better than today? What happened yesterday?
Today is young. Yesterday was nothing special. I met with some new employees, went out to lunch with a friend, worked, and then our T-ball game was cancelled due to wet field conditions. I was somewhat blah-feeling, for no apparent reason. I had a headache. We ate tortellini for dinner, it was Bath Night, and I did a load of laundry. Let's hope today WILL be better than that!

14. Can you live a day without TV?
Yes but I normally don't.

15. Are you upset about anything?
Not at the moment.

16. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?
Definitely. (Hello, teenage person who wrote the questions.)

17. Are you a bad influence?
Oh yes, I lead people right down the path to hell. (Oh, sorry, that's a lie.)

18. Night out or night in?
With DH I like both - can't decide. With the girls? In. I am not one for going out clubbing. *shudder*

19. What items could you not go without during the day?
Car. Coffee. Pen.

20. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
Knock on wood, I rarely have to visit anyone in the hospital. I guess it would be my Mom, when she came here in 2005 and got appendicitis.

21. What does the last text message in your inbox say?
I, uh... don't really text. (Am lame!) I'm sure I have a message...

22. How do you feel about your life right now?
I'm very grateful and trying to keep that in the forefront. Honestly I feel tired. And happy in my little family. And torn about working, always.

23. Do you hate anyone?
I dislike quite a few people but I don't use the word hate.

24. If we were to look in your Facebook inbox, what would we find?
Messages.

25. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass?
Yes

26. Has anyone ever called you perfect before?
Yes

27. What song is stuck in your head?
Viva La Vida by Coldplay

28. Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m., who do you want it to be?
I'm supposed to say, "Edward," right? In truth, I don't want anyone knocking on my window, ever. That's creepy.

29. Wanna have grandkids before you’re 50?
No. Hear me, AJ, KT? NOOoooo.

30. Name something you have to do tomorrow.
Tomorrow (Thurs) I have to send out a marketing update to my entire company.

31. Do you think too much or too little?
Too much

33. Do you smile a lot?
Not enough.

The one hour that isn't full

It's hard to write a blog post without whining about how busy I am, so that's why I've been keeping quiet. It's like, NO DUH, right? We're all busy to one extent or the other, that's what makes it A LIFE. I'm trying to remember that and be more grateful.

I just find that I'm having a hard time accepting that "busy" isn't going to change. This IS the status quo. Too many to-do's is just the right number, I guess. How come no one ever told me? I have a college degree and 12... no, 13 years of professional experience, and have been fully unprepared for this one bit of information. Unprepared for having 2 digital and 2 paper calendars that I can't seem to sync into one Master Calendar. Unprepared for squeezing in grocery-shopping (last week we made do with little more than some canned green beans and Totino's... oh, and a KFC night thrown in for variety).

But I said I wasn't going to talk about it. Ahem. Backup backup backup.

...um... what's up?

Last night I watched Desperate Housewives for the first time. I was previously unconvinced of its worth, and last night didn't exactly change my mind, except... well, there were these small moments of excellent acting. Teri Hatcher and Felictity Huffman both, at separate times, gave the exact, subtle look to go along with whatever line they'd just delivered, and I was sort-of blown away by those 2 looks. And I don't know anything about acting beyond "chorus enters stage left, in silent conversation" (watermelon, peanut butter, watermelon, peanut butter? Oh? Ah! Watermelon. Peanut butter).

So that's what I've got, other than busy. Television.

Bullet points (the last one's the best)

• This morning AJ asked to wear his sweater to school because it was cold (55 degrees!) -- Fall, welcome back. I've missed you! I have nothing to wear.



• My uncle is in town on business and we had dinner with him at my cousin L. and her family's house Sunday night. He made me laugh so hard when we all started quoting his mother, my Granny. Sitting down at the table, L. said, "Well, haven't we got fun!" And after taking his first bite, Uncle A. busted out with, "L., this is really 'Iffa-fliff-igan!'" (translation: fantastic, terrific) -- I hadn't heard that one, well, since Granny was around to say it herself. There is nothing better than family memories and togetherness. Truly, nothing. Tra-la!



• We are selling magazine subscriptions like hotcakes over here. And of course I mean we, as in DH and myself, as the school-age child himself has done nothing but win prizes from our efforts. I can't wait until he's old enough to be apathetic about school fundraisers all on his own. (Psst, Wanna buy a magazine at 40 to 80% off?? CALL ME.)



• Sunday morning, my Darling Husband took charge and got out the ironing board, finishing a load of Wrinkled Items that have been hanging in our laundry room for weeks. I thank him profusely for this (but it is not the good part of the story). I asked him to leave the iron out because I needed to shorten some new pants of AJ's together with hem tape -- the only way to hem! I was busy doing that for about half an hour while he watched the football game and the kids scooted around underfoot, when I noticed someone tugging at my back. Hoping for some attention from Mama. No really, needing some attention. Come ON, Mama... All of a sudden... OW!! Did she just...? She... did!! KT bit me on the behind. BIT ME!! On the butt! And it hurt! I had a hard time telling her sternly that We Don't Bite, because I was giggling so hard!

Guess where I'm headed at lunch?

hairbrush for KT
hairbrush for me (one that doesn't hurt!)
new barettes/bows
bike shorts or bloomers for KT
socks for KT
cream/pink long-sleeved onesies for KT
nightgown?
look at brown/black sandals (on sale?)
new black dress shoes (critical! for a wedding this wknd!)
Lean Pockets
dark chocolate
Toys for kids (Xmas!)
-- Secret Saturdays Kryptid/action figs
-- Bath Magic Ariel doll?
New Halloween buckets

What she said!

RT @bessieviola Also, to hell w/feminism and having it all! Get me an apron!

She just Tweeted what I've been wanting to say for YEARS. :)

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Hey, Atlanta is flooded! And therefore, we are also (or were) flooded, to a certain extent. I can't believe that some of the old rich homes near Peachtree Creek are the ones flooded out. The suburbs, where I live, were deluged as well. Roads are out and all the schools are closed. It's crazy. Flooding in other areas of the country (Ohio), without a hurricane association, has never registred with me. I've not understood how it works or what it really means. I don't know why. When it's far away you don't always take note. But when it rains for 4 days straight (or more? I lost count) you start to get it. When your backyard is underwater, it begins to register. Huh. This is a flood.

We're very lucky -- only our basement had, I don't know, an inch of water? -- and we've seen a couple of little water stains on the ceiling. I'm praying for the people who are in shelters today.

The myth of "productive"

I've decided that I'm never going to have a completely productive, satisfying day at this job. Just not gonna happen. (A coworker who's been here 5 years has confirmed this.) The days aren't terrible, but they're not AT ALL linear. There's not even a set way I can plan my time, say, to answer phone calls/emails in the morning, do my writing in the lunch hour, and update websites in the afternoons. So yesterday as I walked to the parking lot, I simply focused on the ONE thing I did get accomplished, and that was finishing one small story I was writing. Not the whole 2-page spread, just the one "mini" news item. And after doing that, mostly what I did was read new emails, add things to the list, get frustrated, shuffle papers around (to file or not to file?), and slowly lose the will to live.

(Maybe an exaggeration.)

Today I'm creating a new filing system right after my 9:30 phone call.

Thank goodness it's Friday, right??

Weekend (and very early Monday morning) report

All it took was a simple dinner at a simple restaurant in a strip mall. The anticipation all week helped, too; I was looking forward to it A LOT. Glass of wine, and linguini with pesto cream. Conversation. Met the manager. Paid our money. Walked down to Michael's, of all places, and bought new picture frames. Toys R Us was right there, too, so we went in to look at stuff FOR THE KIDS. We're pathetic, right? But shopping for them is typically 1 of 2 things: Rushed (lunch-hour) or Scattered (them clamoring for stuff). This was leisurely. A wonder. Got a Halloween costume EARLY, for once. (Hope he still wants to be Wolverine!) Then we made a conscious effort to switch OFF parental mode. Next stop, Bath and Body Works - just for fun. Tiny luxury. :) And topped off the night with a warm mocha at a small table at Starbucks. Laughed so hard I cried at one point, and was so happy to know that we still have that kind of good fun together, just talking. IT WAS PERFECT, I say.

Sunday's yoga event was also lovely. Truly lovely. I never take a full HOUR for yoga -- if I'm doing my worn out DVD I choose the 20-minute version. If I don't even bother with the DVD, I get distracted after about 10 minutes. So this was a treat. Also nice to share it with other women. Surprise! I've never thought I liked fitness classes. But in this case it was great to have other people there, at all levels of fitness, and to clap afterwards like we'd all accomplished something. Silly, it sounds now, but it was good. Being outdoors, in the cool grass with a breeze blowing, was good for the soul. I tried hard to soak that up as much as possible.

Early this morning the thought occured to me, "Wouldn't it be nice to teach yoga? The opposite of a stressful job!" I shook it off, telling myself how SILLY that is, me being a writer/marketing person/business-y person all my life. Not a hippie herbal-tea-drinking yogi. But maybe I do need to take a class again. I have already looked online for some yoga studios close to home.

Seven Quick Takes (vol. 6)

1. I have been living a little bit in the past this week because my Darling Husband bought me a CD -- a recent compliation of Chicago's greatest radio hits. Such good tunes there, from childhood/high school and before. I didn't realize the founders were DePaul University students, a school near and dear to my heart although I didn't attend there. And in the last several years I've come to appreciate the horn section more and more. Chicago, my friends, has horns.

2. Speaking of my DH, what a guy. :) He's been so busy this week at his office, but not too busy to 1) insist that I go to bed early the night before last, 2) send me a very sweet email on Wednesday, something that we both normally "are too busy" to do (shame on us), and 3) plan our date night tonight, even agreeing to maybe go to the mall with me. Hey, it's something we don't ever get to do by ourselves. I think it's going to be fun! I'm really grateful. I know that he read the blog post about me feeling sad and whatever, and he's taking actions that are so small, yet SO significant. Points for being Life-giving!

3. This Sunday I'm attending a work-related Yoga event at Atlanta's Piedmont Park. I haven't been to a group yoga session since... oh, this is embarassing... 1999!! The weatherman's predicting rain but I hope he's wrong. If morning temps are as nice as they've been lately, it's going to be an hour or two of pure BLISS. Breathe in... breathe out.

4. My Dad had hip replacement surgery this week. I am so glad for him. His hip has been giving him trouble for years. Talk about guilt: Our dumb 2-story house has been no picnic when he's been to visit us, I'm sure. I hope this is going to make him good as new! He'll likely go home today or tomorrow, and I know it's going to be a tough few weeks as he recovers (and can't sit/bend at a 90-degree angle)! So I'm praying for Mom and Dad both for strength and patience. And since I know a lot of good, praying people read Jen's Quick Takes, I'm posting it here! If you can spare a good thought, send it my parents' way!

5. KT ate turkey meatballs last night. Yum, yum! She didn't even get them in her hair, which is a minor miracle.

6. AJ started talking about Christmas yesterday. He said we need to make a wish list for KT. And then he whispered in my ear that what we need to put on that list is "A Barney toy." What a good brother!

7. Funny story that always makes me smile: A woman in my office wore a headscarf to the office one day. Another woman said, "You're so lucky, you can wear hats!" The first woman replied, "But... you can, too! You have a head, don't you?!" Hahahahahaha! Maybe you had to be there?

More quick takes at www.conversiondiary.com

Wonderful rambling post

I want to be able to write wonderful, rambling posts (that still feel literary) like Julia does. Or the informative, excellent history-keeping posts like Indigo Girl. I guess this will be an attempt to combine the two.

The kids are really showing some personality traits. AJ is exhibiting quite the capacity for art, specifically drawing, although that might just be part of the Kindergarten package. I remember last fall when I was teaching Sunday School (oh, did I not tell you? I am not teaching again this year. I didn't feel like I could commit to it. And then of course, a lovely man stood up last Sunday at Mass and gave his "testimony" -- as much as a Catholic can give "testimony", ha -- about teaching 7th-grade Sunday School, and how this year he really thought he couldn't do it again, but... turns out he couldn't give up his Calling... Guilt! Guilt! Guilt! But, oh well, maybe I'll return to it another year. I do LOVE running into my former students at church. They get all giggly.) ANYway, last year I noticed that ALL the Kindergarteners in my class could draw -- or at least, they weren't at all inhibited to think that they couldn't. I love that. But AJ seems to really enjoy it. He doesn't draw on every available surface or sheet of paper like one of his cousins, but he does love Thursdays when he has Art Class, and our driveway is full of chalk masterpieces. Robots, ships, and aliens mostly. He's always had a great ear for music, too, which makes Mommy's heart glad -- he has sung ON PITCH since he was tiny. KT, on the other hand, speaks her songs so far. Sprechstimme, it's called in opera and German -- a word my nerd music friends and I got a kick out of in college. AJ and I will sing "A, B, C, D, E, F..." and pause for KT to show what she knows. She'll insert a very deadpan, "Deee." It's so cute. So to sum up, AJ: Art(s), I think.

He's also worrying us slightly because he gets so wrapped up in his imagination sometimes that he fails to respond when people -- adults or kids -- talk to him. The other day at T-ball, 3 different teammates tried to talk to him and I think he plainly ignored them all. We're perplexed, and don't want him to be the Weird Kid. ;) The other problem is that he sometimes won't speak up when he needs something from a teacher. Example: if he needs help opening a lunch item like his milk. He'll say, "Well, Mrs. C. didn't see my hand so I didn't get to drink it." He reports this with a sad face. We're trying to tell him that it's not good manners to ignore people, and that if he needs help he needs to ASK. All these little learning curves.

T-ball has been fun, by the way. At least for me. Those batting helmets are YOOGE on the little kids, though. They bobble around while the kids run the bases. So funny. The scheduling hasn't really been troublesome, either -- a relief. On days when we have a 6pm game, we've managed just fine. Luckily the field is less than 10 minutes from our house. I really love being there, for some reason. All the parents and siblings, the concession stand, the lights when it starts to get dark, the crack of the bat... feels very "hometown" and comforting.

KT at almost 19 months is making so much progress. She mimicks every little word we say which gives AJ something to do: "KT, say, 'It spilled.' Say 'Band-Aid.' Say 'Tay-toes.'" I keep telling him it's going to confuse her to say "It spilled" when NOTHING DID, and to cut it out. But whatever. They're funny to watch. When they play together happily (usually chasing each other), it's the best thing in the world.

KT, however, is also a grumpy gus in the mornings. I said to DH the other day that I don't think she's ever, in her whole life, woken up happy. Always crying. And grouchy! Our morning routine is to go downstairs immediately and get her a sippy of milk, which she drinks while we all snuggle on the couch for a minute. That's been the routine since forever! But lately she fusses and whines and doesn't want her milk, doesn't want a snack, can't even be calmed with Barney – she loves Barney, and why haven't either of my kids chosen Blue's Clues as their first love instead?? She also loves Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, though, so that's good, we're indoctrinating her properly – it makes for a somewhat unpleasant start to the day (and a definite bummer during snuggle time).

She's also a FLIRT. Especially when asked for kisses. She plainly refuses with a distinct, "Nooo." And then a little sly grin as she runs away. Mischievous imp!

I need to get to work now. Except to report that tomorrow night (hooray for a short week, Friday is already TOMORROW!) we are having a Date Night. I am very excited to have dinner and wine and a babysitter. God Bless the babysitter.

I leave you with a photo that we had taken recently. I can't resist that portrait place. My walls are in danger of becoming swiss cheese with all the frames I want to hang.

First Diet

KT is subsisting exclusively on Craisins and ketchup.


What weird things did your kids declare the ONLY ACCEPTABLE ITEMS at this ridiculous not-eating stage?

Documentation

I don't think I want to talk about it much, but I've just been moody and sad the last 2 weeks. Some of it is typical job stress/blahs, and some of it has sunk to really wondering what things have made me truly happy lately. (Fact: plenty of things - T-ball, KT learning words like "tickle" and "it spilled," Kindergarten, reading, the visit from my parents. But still I've been wondering what things DO truly make ME happy? Do I even know? And do I get enough of those things?)

I don't know if it's the change of routine and I can't get a handle on the new "normal" yet (our to-do LIST seems a mile long), or if it's a mid-life crisis of some kind, or if it's just a particularly bad stretch of PMS (2 weeks? much longer than usual) -- or maybe it's because we've had OVERCAST SKIES for 2 weeks... Seattle, how do you do it?? -- but for some reason I want to document it here. So that when I go back and read this when I'm seventy, I can remember "that tough time in August oh-nine."

Blah. I hate when I write posts like this. They seem stupid and whiny. I'm sure it will pass.

Hey. Quick Takes.

More than a week since I last posted, I see -- that may be a first. I just haven't felt like writing anything all week. Here are some of the things I've been doing instead:

1. Finishing Twilight/New Moon and going to Book Club. Easily the highlight of my week was spending time with my girlfriends 'til 10:00 pm on a Tuesday. We ate mushroom ravioli (just like Bella!), drank wine, and celebrated this silly but somehow compelling YA series. My one friend has started reading blogs because of it (Stephanie Meyer's blog, specifically) and is an uber-fan of the story, with all kinds of trivia about the author, the actors, the town of Forks, etc. Hilarious. We didn't come to any grand conclusions about symbolism or character development or anything. In fact we spent most of the time being told that we HAVE to read all four of the books, and that the first three are NOTHING compared to the fourth. (And the fifth, which I will be indulging in SOON!) Myself, I find the details of the vampires' lives fascinating, and I think Meyer's a BUSINESS GENIUS for capitalizing in such a unique way on the "green/vegetarian" topic. I don't know if she meant to do that, but color me impressed.

2. Not getting my lunchtime errands done. I did, however, meet DH for lunch one day this week (Chicago hot dogs!) and that was lovely. Even time together not talking all that much, is nice. I wonder, how do you guys who are parents EVER talk to one another? Because we are faithful to having dinner as a family every night, but believe me, there is no opportunity for grown-up conversation during dinner. It's all, "No, no, KT, not in your hair..." "Mommy? Mommy? Can I ask a question??" "LALALALALALALAI havetogopotty..." "AJ stop playing and EAT," around our table.

3. Trying to get my work done at the office amid countless interruptions. I love how every project but the ones on MY list this week was deemed a priority (by other people). However, I did attend a training class, and now I can fit you for a bra or a breast prosthesis. So my job still remains somewhat cool. I guess. I'm not really enamored of it this week, though, in case you can't tell. Been feeling a little down about it, to be perfectly honest. But haven't wanted to talk about it.

4. Pulled a Classic American Mom by going through the Krystal drive-through for last night's dinner -- because AJ had a 6:00 pm T-ball practice! I am giggling about it because that very act has been touted as WHAT'S MAKING OUR KIDS FAT and such a terrrrrrrible thing to do. Oh well. I don't feel bad about it.

5. Trying to find baseball pants in an extra-small. I don't think they exist.

6. Signing up to volunteer at AJ's school. And learning it's hard to volunteer much with a full-time job (see #3 above). I was asked to donate "sternos" for the first Teacher Appreciation lunch. I had no idea what a sterno was. Now I know.

7. Really wanting to clean out/rotate kid clothes, as well as get rid of some. Ooh, I might have just had a brilliant idea -- perhaps I'll do a Hand-Me-Downs Giveaway here on the ol' blog! Because I mean, everyone likes hand-me-downs, right? I have clothes for lots of different sizes in boy or girl. We have saved a lot of them, hoping for nieces or nephews, but no luck so far and although our basement is large... I'm ready to clean it out a bit. So. Will think about that.

Happy Friday, kittens! Enjoy the weekend and more Quick Takes at Conversion Diary.

[not really worth publishing]

Ugh, I was in a bad mood yesterday. I was starting to feel my annual October Overwhelm-ed-ness, for one thing, and for another, I simply could NOT FOCUS on work. I swear: social media, which is part of my paid job to monitor, is going to be the death of me. Some days my attention span is next to nil. Not good when one is also supposed to be a writer. I flit from one screen to the next. Email -- and Yahoo mail, I swear to crackers I am SO OVER YOU for being so s l o w w w w -- Twitter, Google Reader! Google Reader! Google Reader again! I'm addicted to all your blogs, you can be sure of that. :)

Anyway, I think I am on a fast from Facebook and GR during work hours, for a while. And I'm turning off email notifications. I swear, when that little email flag pops up in the lower left-hand corner, it totally derails me. Am I the only one? So you see, I have to be going now.

Lunchbox Lady

I've discovered an inexplicable love of making lunch for AJ, for Kindergarten. Something about the challenge of making it healthy, but fun, I guess. Or getting it all to fit into the lunchbox. Or maybe it's HIS enthusiasm. He always wants to unzip it and peek before we leave for school, and I get a little rush when he comments, "Cool!" I think the MULTITUDE of convenience foods makes it easier, and more fun, than generations before us, if you don't get fussy about processed foods (which I don't). The first day I worried a little about sending him with a (pizza) Lunchable, but when I learned 2 other kids brought Lunchables that day, too, I felt better. (WHY?? Stupid, inborn mom-competitiveness.) They're one of the few "entree" options he'll eat:

• peanut butter sandwiches (homemade)


• peanut butter sandwiches (Smuckers Uncrustables)


• Lunchables (only the pizza flavors)


• Ravioli (in this cool Thermos)


• turkey on bread, no mayo (haven't tried this yet but he claims he'll eat it)


• cubed ham

Equally fun are the side items. I bought a big variety bag of the Frito-Lay chips, and I can't wait 'til it's finished so I can buy a box of individual serv Cheeze-Its. Or pretzels. There's just so much to choose from. Today he has Jell-o. And he's trying a Hershey's Chocolate Milk box. (We'll see - I'm skeptical.)

The school requires a "healthy afternoon snack and a water bottle," as well. It's IN THE HANDBOOK: "fruit, or crackers and cheese." WELL, I must be a rebel because today I sent him with Teddy Grahams for snack. Ooooooooh.

My Mom assures me that my enthusiasm WILL wear off and packing lunch has the potential to be the bane of my existence. We shall see.

Off we go...

No stopping him now! AJ, we are so proud of you today. :)

One Hundred. Thousand. Percent.

Kindergarten Orientation went so well yesterday. My parents are here to babysit during this week, since school doesn’t start until Thursday, so they went with us to school and I’m so glad they got to see it, and meet the people who’ll be shaping AJ’s little heart and mind for the next year! I’m pretty giddy over the whole thing and it just confirms the fact that I loved school myself. Loved!

Anyway, yesterday we checked in, were warmly greeted with a gift bag, then first-thing signed up for the Extended Care Program (morning and after-care) – one part of New School about which I’ve fretted because it’s been a huge “unknown.” The coordinator was extremely kind and really put me at ease. Not to mention, the line for ECP was the longest in the whole cafeteria, so it isn’t like AJ’s going to be lonely, an After School Special of “without-his-mommy-sadness” and a soft spotlight, for all to pity. Heh. I think he’s going to have fun with Mrs. L. They do homework, play in the gym, and have to be personally checked in and out, which means I’ll get to park and go in. Score.

After that we bought some school spirit items – a T-shirt so AJ can wear jeans on special “spirit-days,” if he also remembers 50 cents and a canned food item to donate, and a metallic decal for my car-line-ready Highlander! Eeee! Logo items! (Blue and gold, naturally. In my old job we always laughed at blue and gold. EVERY school’s colors are blue and gold.) Our car-line number is 170.

We got our Publix “1%” keychain cards and learned about Box Tops for Education, and the annual magazine drive – the same company my high school used of course, and GAG ME how I hated the magazine drive. Bleh. I wish they’d choose a different fundraiser, seriously. I’d prefer Sally Foster to magazines. Oh well. If that’s the low point, I guess that’s pretty good.

Then we went to the classroom. There were reams of copy paper and tubs of baby wipes lined up. Paper towels stacked to the ceiling! And DESKS. Each kid has been assigned a seat with a name card already taped to the top. We put crayons and glue inside the little cubby under the desk – AJ was so eager to do so, he heaved our reams of copy paper out of the bag himself. Heavy reams! His adrenaline must have been surging.

Mrs. C. tried to talk to him a little bit – she has a slightly annoying, but sort-of cute, habit of tacking “Baby” on as her nickname of choice – “Did you go swimming this summer, Baby?” (I had a 4th-grade teacher who always said, “Darlin’;” I was annoyed by that, too.) But I think she’s great and was actually hoping we’d be assigned to her classroom. AJ was visibly nervous, singing to himself and kind-of jumpy and giggly, and wouldn’t really answer her questions, but that’s okay. Who wouldn’t be nervous, right? I didn’t push him (much)... and I can just feel those butterflies in his tummy. I will all week, I’m sure.

Last night, I laid down with AJ before he went to sleep and told him how much fun I’d had with him at school. I told him I was “jumping up and down on the inside, I was so excited.” He asked me, “Are you One Hundred… Thousand… percent excited?” And I gave an emphatic, “YES. Are you?” He nodded and squirmed into his pillow.

Two days left to wait.

RIP, John Hughes

I didn't even realize one of my favorite movies of all time was a John Hughes film.

I am sure lots of bloggers from my generation will have eloquent things to say about him and his work today. This from NPR is a lovely tribute.

He shaped our thinking, really. He'll be missed.

Goodness abounds

How I wish I could write a replica of this lovely post, with our particular household details plugged in, instead of Sundry's. How! It made me teary, and made me realize again that the daily round is such a profound gift. The insignificant things – like the clink of a fork hitting its mates in the silverware drawer, the fuzzy bed-hair on a sleepy boy's head – are what make up this beautiful life.

The only thing I want to post today, after reading that, is an account of my blessings.

>> We saw a kind pediatrician on Saturday, who was funny and gentle with both coughing kids, looking into their ears "to check their brains for butterflies." I love doctors who can make kids (and parents!) unafraid. I love doctors who'll PRESCRIBE something, and not just advise me to turn on a humidifier. I love doctors who don't grumble about being there on a Saturday morning for sick visits. God bless him.

>> I went to the grocery store last night. I am so grateful for having the means to buy food for my family when so many don't have that luxury. I'd spent my lunch hour planning a week of meals that I think everyone will enjoy, and I was glad to be there late in the evening, in the quiet. I've always liked grocery shopping. I remember going with my mom when I was a teen, and I also fondly remember when DH and I could go together, before we had kids. At the register we would always see who could guess "closest to the (showcase) total without going over!" Happy memories.

>> I'm grateful for my parents. I had the thought this weekend that I should be calling them every day. I don't know if that’s true or if it would annoy them. I do instant-message and email them on days we don't talk. And sometimes I have nothing to say on the phone, even when I haven't talked to them in three days! But in this day and age with long-distance calling costs not even an issue like they were when we were kids, it just seems like the right thing to do.

>> I had a nice little spiritual 'uplift' last Friday. There's a 24-hour chapel at my church, which is also, you may remember, AJ's new school. My office closes early on Fridays, and I happened to be near the church. Something led me to go to the chapel. I don't know why I thought of it. "Just for 15 minutes," I told myself... “"to kill time until this appointment I have." (I thought of Jennifer – WWJD! What would Jennifer do? She'll be embarrassed by that, but reading her blog blessed me in that little way.) So I did. I went in and said a (scatterbrained, unfocused) prayer. Then I realized: I could go there every Friday once school starts, to wait for school to let out at 3:00. What an easy, subtle way to be a good example of faithfulness to AJ. And what a nice way for me to unwind. Connect. Pray.

Stories to tell, and New School worries

So, it appears that blogs like mine are EXACTLY what the blog-world needs to hold on to. Little stories like mine, told in my very own authentic voice, with no want for swag or ads or paid promotions, are what makes blogging great. I am so glad to hear this.

(...I AM GOING TO BE SO RICH!!!!!)

Just kidding.

But it does make me feel good that I've not had the guts wanted to take my blog to "the next level." I can't believe I spent an hour this morning reading all the comments at the BlogHer09 website, though. I don't know. Maybe a part of me does kinda dream of going there. I mean, some women who go to the conference ARE just small-time, like me. Anyway.

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What I really wanted to write about today is my number one fear right now. I'm feeling really worried that AJ isn't going to like school. I'm worried about his little feelings, his admitted nervousness about making new friends in Kindergarten. Which is so NORMAL, and I know that. But you know how it is, a Mom hates to think of her little guy being sad or afraid. Mostly, I'm worried he won't think school is fun -- that he'll feel like it's drudgery at a young age, all the way through the 12th grade, because he's been going to school so much of his young life already.

I'm worried he won't be motivated to do homework. Homework that it's CRAZY to HAVE at age five, but nonetheless, they have it now and he's going to have to DO IT. I bought him a little numbers "activity" book, as the school suggested, to work on during the summer. But every time I bring it up, he finds something else (video games) that he'd rather do instead. And I don't begrudge him the video games; they're part of his generation as no other generation before. I want him to be able to play them, actually. But when I was a kid I used to do "pretend" homework. I'd just grab any book off my Mom's shelf, open it up at an angle on my desk, and pretend to take notes from it, on a piece of paper. So I don't understand NOT wanting to do a Brand-new! Numbers! Activity! Book! (I was a nerd, yes.)

I'm worried about logistics. HOW are we going to get homework done? Will it be during his After-Care program at the school, or with me (somehow) at home... um... after dinner? I can't sacrifice his 8:00 bedtime to do homework, and I certainly can't sacrifice his bath... so like I do, I'm worrying over it. I'm sure in the end it will only be 10 minutes of homework at the most, but one never knows.

Despite my eensy hesitation, we ALSO signed him up for tee-ball. Now, I will say that on the one hand, what could be more AWESOME than little boys in baseball pants? I am excited for our first "team" experience, and we're hoping to be on a team with a little friend of his from daycare, which would be great for him. (Otherwise we would surely lose touch with that family, and the 2 boys have grown up together.) There's a requirement that the parents work the concession stand sometimes. Fun!! There will be something to do OUTDOORS every weekend. Score. The season is short, ending in October. All of that makes me giddy.

But the logistics, again, of having 2 practices a week until the games begin, and everything else that comes with a new Committment... worried.

Suppose it would be better to focus on the things I'm excited about, yes?
>> School supplies!! I was putting his name on pencil box and glue bottle last night.
>> Volunteering for lunchroom duty once a month. squee!
>> We got his textbooks -- there's a Spanish one! Yay for foreign language!
>> UNIFORMS!
>> He seems to like Harry Potter quite a bit already. (I can't wait to get to the Sorting Hat!)

Shameless attempt to WIN

They're giving away some lovely natural body scrub at Live Well Spend Well, and I get another entry for posting about it on my blog. And I get even MORE entries if YOU go over there, and leave a comment saying "el-e-e sent me."

And people, if you'd seen my feet lately, you would do this for me, as a kindness.

Sorry, TMI. But lordy, my feet in the summer are an embarrassment. All that fresh air and none of the armoured protection of socks. My worst grooming habit is to pick at that dry skin. I haven't allowed myself real pedicures in probably a year becuase, hey, you gotta save money somewhere and I'm NOT GIVING UP STARBUCKS.

Anyway, I'm sure you'd like to win, too, and if you do I will be happy for you. My feet will cry, but *I* will smile politely. Go forth and enter, and please put my name in the box!

7 Quick Takes Friday - with logo!

1. I cannot even tell you how sick I am of a particular project I'm working on at the office. It's a long "training guide," and I've never written anything like that before. Even in college I managed to graduate without ever being required to submit a paper much over 10 pages long. This one, so far, is at 18. AND IT'S BORING. My first draft is due today (Friday) and I will be so happy to kiss it goodbye.


2. After that, I am indulging. I've been invited to a single gal-pal's condo for pooltime!! I had forgotten that one of the best things about apartment/condo-living is having a pool. (Our subdivision has one, but we're too cheap to pay for membership.) Anyway, I simply can't wait. I bought a jar of fruity salsa and some chips, and we are going to lounge and swim and chit-chat and I am really looking forward to it. TODAY! In 5 hours!


3. My husband is a dear for giving me the afternoon/evening off. Love you, honey.


4. AJ starts Kindergarten in T-minus 3 weeks. Do you guys remember that just the other day, he was a teeny baby?? (Those are from the way-back machine, and MAN, have I been blogging a long time.)


5. Book Club is reading Twilight for August. Yes, we caved. Yes, we're planning to watch the movie at the meeting. I am more excited than I ought to be to finally get in on all the Edward hub bub. Meanwhile, I have started reading the first Harry Potter with AJ. I can't decide if he's really old enough, but took the plunge anyway. I know he's dying to see the first movie, but I just couldn't bear it if he didn't experience the book beforehand. We only manage to read a few pages at a time, but I think he likes it so far.


6. One of my coworkers seems to bring her kids into the office (ages 9 and 14) pretty often. I don't mind this, but I think it's odd. Have you ever done it? I mean, somewhat regularly? I know it's summer and all... maybe it's just that I've never worked with people who have that age kids before.


7. Latest TV pleasure (sorta): Extreme Logging: Ice Loggers. I don't love the show, but am somewhat intrigued. Mostly I love the cute Canadian accents. Eh? I keep thinking a lot of those dudes look much too young to be driving such heavy, dangerous machines. (I am getting so freaking old.)

go read more Quick Takes at Conversion Diary... happy weekend!

Good lunch hours

-- Walking across a Midtown street, on a 75-degree spring day, to a little park with a fountain, with your sweetie. He brings the sandwiches, you bring the chips and drinks. (Years ago, before DH was my "H.")

-- Driving home since you only work 7 miles away, patting the doggie, making a yummy sandwich or burrito, and watching a little noon-time news or BravoTV for 40 minutes. (Less often than I'd like - I somehow forget about this option.)

-- Driving home and eating, then cleaning a bathroom or vacuuming the bedrooms. (Not fun, but sometimes necessary.)

-- Going to the mall which is only 1 mile away; finding great shoes at Payless for next-to-nothing, picking up a sandwich, sniffing some stuff at Bath & Body, not to mention getting a "walk" in because you parked at the wrong mall entrance for Payless. YESSSS! (Last week.)

-- Being asked to lunch with a friendly coworker, and trying a new taco place that has patio seating. (Monday.)

-- Taking a 15 minute walk around the pond behind the office building, then going back in, heating up lunch, and reading a Philippa Gregory novel for 45 minutes while eating. (Yesterday.)


P.S. I don't include a lunchtime trip to Target in this list because 1 hour never seems long enough to peruse all the different sections of Target. Even when I have a focused objective and go there? It's never quite long enough!

Long overdue photo

The new cube-view

*forehead slap*

DH and I had a good, long talk last night about AJ. He had threatened a whiny meltdown RIGHT before he went to sleep, and MAN, are we weary from his fits.

We realized by talking about it that, DUHHHH, in daycare "summer camp," the kids don't get the 2-hour nap that they got all during Pre-K. I am such an idiot. They get "quiet time" with a movie, but OUR KID? Will do anything to stay awake during a movie. Perhaps THIS is the reason for his recent behavior. He's TIRED. (This, and the fact that his baby sister is no longer a little lump of sweetness, and is demanding extra attention and learning to throw her OWN fits, and he feels the need to compete.)

---> Mom guilt. I let him sleep an extra 10 minutes this morning.

It's tough because DH and I have always kept early-morning work schedules. When we commuted long distances, it was simply to get there on-time. Then it just became habit, and now I like being able to leave the office in the 4:00 p.m. hour. But this little revelation makes me want to reconsider our routine. Of course, Kindergarten begins at 8:00 sharp, and if he were taking the bus, it comes around at 10 minutes to seven in our neighborhood. (Get this -- the young kids' bus comes before dawn, but the middle school bus doesn't come until 8:30 or 9:00. Who planned that? Someone without little kids, that's who.) What I'm saying is, he's getting older now and the option to sleep a little later won't exist in a few weeks, anyway.

DH and I concluded, therefore, that we need to make 8:00 BEDTIME a priority. Since it's summer we've been pretty slack, letting him go 'til 8:30 or 8:45. But no more.

Did I say "idiot" already? ----> little bit of Mom guilt. Sigh.

Don't much like

One of the things I don't like about a (continuous, ongoing, lifetime for.ev.er.taking) weight loss effort is that you eventually have to become obsessed with it in order to succeed. Linda's article, and Swistle's, talk about the outward motion of obsession, where you "preach" to other people. I have definitely been there, preachy about fitness and diet when it's going well for me. I get especially preachy about yoga, which I love. Which is all probably a bummer to everyone around me who has to listen.

But this time around, it's a bummer for me as well. It's mentally draining, and lordy is it time-consuming, to constanly count calories and be mindful. I spend time working and re-working my menu in FitDay to get the right numbers of calories each day. With the stair-climbing I've decided is a fun new tactic, I find I'm thinking about it all the time -- When's my next "stair break?" Have I accumulated 20 minutes yet? Are people wondering where I am?

I also like online support; I think I've said before, I've used a message board in the past with success and made friends (one of whom still reads this blog sometimes, hi Stacy!) in the process. So today I signed back up for that, and damn if I don't want to check it obsessively to see new posts for recipes, tips, and responses to my questions. It's like another whole JOB.

I don't want to be obsessed with this. I want to be obsessed - and AM - with my kids. I am paid to be obsessed with my job. I am currently in the middle of a book series (Philippa Gregory) and obsessed with Tudor England, wanting to rent movies and watch TV shows about same. I don't really have time to add another bucket-load of time and mental energy to this, but I feel like I need to if it's going to work. I also don't want to obsess over it and make this a diet blog, which it sometimes already is and I'm sorry for my readers who are uninterested in that.

And it's just 10 little pounds! Just a little belly fat and arm jiggle! It doesn't seem to DESERVE all the stupid attention it's getting.

Two, 4, 6, 8, How do we Procrast-in-ate?

BLOG POST! BLOG POST! YAAAAAAY, BLOGS!

I'm supposed to be writing a white paper. My first. On a medicalish topic which I know very little about. Isn't that fun! Wheee! Wikipedia, here I come.

I would much rather talk about Nothing in this text box than about Something in that one. So...

-- My new cardio program is called "Running the Fire Stairs at my Office 4 Times a Day." I'm aiming for 5 minutes each time and it works out to almost that much. Currently going down and back up twice (I'm located on the 4th floor) definitely gets my heart pumping. The first time down, I'll walk back up 2-at-a-time. The second trip, I'll jog up 1-at-a-time. I never wanted to be one of THOSE people who had to workout by "taking the stairs" and "parking farther away," but hey, whatever it takes. I can't seem to motivate for a damn 20-minute session at home, so this will have to do until I get tired of it. (Or until tonight, when AJ gets his birthday present -- a Wii! Note his bedtime is at EIGHT SHARP.)

It's kinda fun, really, and clandestine and all. I just go after I get up for a bathroom break. I hate not wearing supportive shoes, but oh well. Hopefully my knees will manage.

-- KT's latest thing is wearing hats. Last night we had her all souped up in a backwards ballcap, with a string of mardi gras beads around her neck. She was all, "WHAT UP, YO?" It was cracking us up.

-- AJ's latest thing... I don't really want to talk about his latest thing. The word "bratty" has come into play. It's unpleasant.

-- KT's not all sunshine and rainbows either. I think the 16-month-stage was really tough with AJ, too, as in: CLING FEST. She wannnnnts MAAAA MAAAA. She's funny when she gets mad, too -- she goes over to our fridge and SWIPES! all the alphabet magnets harshly onto the floor. SO THERE!

-- Home life's been a little nuts, is what I'm saying. These kids are both WILD MONKEYS.

Everybody's Fourth of July

I'm loving stories of everyone's Fourths of July. The picnics, the "must-have" foods like corn-on-the-cob and watermelon, the fireworks.

For us, it was a perfect weekend. Friday afternoon, we swam at a friend's house in water that was cool and refreshing (unlike our condo's 85-degree pool from vacation week!), grilled hot dogs and chased kids around the yard.

Saturday, we relaxed with some other friends, let the kids play in their backyard where KT climbed the ladder and slid down the plastic slide with NO FEAR, and ... grilled hot dogs. And burgers. And brats. (Our must-have foods included baked beans, potato salad, and watermelon, for those of you playing along at home.)

Then we drove to a most unspectacular place, a nearby office park, where we had a most spectacular time! The kids ran around throwing a football (AJ tried really hard to throw it -- he's used to a smaller ball -- but he got in a couple of very good catches), and then they enjoyed sparklers and cupcakes while someone's iPod kept us entertained. "Jack and Diane," which I normally dislike, just sounds RIGHT on 4th of July, you know?

When the fireworks began, AJ hightailed it to the car with his Daddy -- poor little guy, the noise was too much for him -- but he still got to enjoy the amazing show. He and Daddy "COOOOOL!!!"ed and "AWESOME!"d every blast together. :) We were RIGHT underneath the display. I mean, it was directly above my eyes - I was almost worried the sparks would fall ON us. Beautiful. Loud. Smile-inducing. KT fell asleep on my chest as I sat in a lawn chair, next to neighbors and strangers, under an almost full moon.

In all my summers, this July 4th was undoubtedly one of my most contented and happy.