Operators are standing by...

I had to pull out all the stops and CALL SANTA CLAUS on the telephone this morning, to stop the whine-fest AJ was having. It's been 3 mornings in a row that he's writhed on the carpet bemoaning the horrible state of his LIFE and how we never let him do ANYTHING FUN, instead of letting us dress him for school, and Husband and I had Had It. So I looked that kid right in the eye and said, "If you kick me again, I am going to CALL SANTA." And he flat-out kicked me. Toddlers, I swear.

beep-beep-beep-beep beep beep beep.

"It's ringing...." (pause for effect)

"Hello, may I speak to Santa Claus please? Thank you." (pause. hmm, 'magine that, AJ's quit fussing)

"Hi, Santa, this is AJ's Mommy. Yes, nice to talk to you. We're all fine. How are you doing?"

(pause)

"Mmm-hmm. Well... I'm calling with some bad news I'm afraid... AJ is being pretty Naughty this morning. Yes, I know. Mm-hmm, he IS usually a very good boy... I know. I hate having to tell you this, but you may want to consider skipping our house this year."

(pause as Santa protests)

(Meanwhile, Hubby's behind me looking at AJ clucking his tongue, "Oh, man... Oh, man, AJ...." All I could do not to burst out laughing. But, STAY IN CHARACTER.)

"Do you think so? Well, maybe he can try to be Nice until Christmas." (looking pointedly at AJ, who's gone silent and wide-eyed) "I don't know. But okay, we'll see. Yes, that's good advice. Okay, Thank you, Santa."

"You have a Merry Christmas, too. Bye-bye."

And then I told AJ that Santa was very disappointed.

He was still looking a bit glum when I dropped him off at daycare. Am I the meanest mommy, or what??! I have exploited Santa a lot this month ("You'd better not pout"), but that was an Oscar-worthy performance, if I do say so myself. Put the fear a'God in him. (Don't worry, we'll call him again tonight -- there's an 800#, did you know? 1-800-972-6242 -- and I'll let AJ listen to the happy recording.)

Tactics. It's all about tactics.

Gloom into Gratitude

...But there will be no gloom for her who was in anguish.

I just read this as the opening passage of Isaiah 9. I don't think I've ever heard that verse before, but wow, I really like it. It's from the English Standard Version, and the use of the adjective "her" is different to my ears. (Guess we don't read it in any of the regular Scripture cycles at Mass.)

I can think of several "hers," some bloggers, some not, who are experiencing a bit of anguish right here in the Christmas season. And last night, I got myself into a bit of a gloomy mood too. Sometimes reading all those 2-page Christmas letters about "Susie-Q, who made partner in her marketing firm in oh-six," and "our dear Johnny, whose self-designed business really took off this year," and "his wife, Mary, who's got her hands full with the 3 kids she's teaching at home," makes me a little depressed. I got 3 of those letters yesterday.

So I'm praying with HOPE that the gloom will be replaced, for myself (my selfish envious self) and especially for my friends. These next parts of the Isaiah chapter supply the familiar words:

The people who walked in darkness
have seen a great light;
those who dwelt in a land of deep darkness,
on them has light shined... (vs. 2)
For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given;
and the government shall be upon his shoulder,
and his name shall be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. (vs. 6)

Some of my favorite words in all the Bible. I love that it ENDS WITH -- punctuates -- emphasizes -- PEACE. He will bring us Peace above all the other things.

Man, that is some good news.

Be grateful today for that Hope, and for the many blessings of this life.

Confusion

My son seems a bit confused about this whole "someone comes into my house and leaves presents" deal. We were talking last night about what's going to happen IN ONE WEEK, and I said, "Who's going to visit you on Christmas?"

"Lanta Caus," he replied.


"...and Tigger?"

Thursday Thirteen #4

13 Questions from an End-of-Year Meme

I've been wanting to do the whole questionnaire, but it seems that a portion is all I'm going to manage. That's okay.

1. Was 2006 a good year for you? Wellll... yes, overall "in the grand scheme of things," a phrase I use entirely too often, it was a good year. We are all healthy and have much to be thankful for. Work has been hard for both of us, and I'm trying really hard not to define 2006 as "the year of the funeral." Few too many of those for my taste. Few too many wonderful people we miss a great deal. But I think that's something to acknowledge; as we get older, we attend more funerals, that's just the facts.

2. What was your favorite moment of the year? I'm not sure. I'm thinking my favorite moment is going to be Christmas morning, because for the first time, AJ's going to be curious and excited about Santa Claus and PRESENTS.

3. Where were you when 2006 began? I believe I was face-down on my couch. I believe my husband tried desperately to wake me up for a mignight kiss, and I believe I mrrrffffled my way through it and went right back to sleep. (sorry, honey)

4. Did you keep your new years resolutions of 2006? Ha, ha, I WIN on this question. I refused to ennumerate my resolutions, but I did mention them briefly. Blessing my circumstances and yoga -- yeah, I think I did okay on those. Especially yoga. I did much more of that in '06 than in '05.

5. Did you make any new friends in 2006? If blog-friends count, then yes, I believe I did. I love blog-friends. :)

6. How many different states did you travel to in 2006? Oh, wow. Let's see... Oklahoma, by way of Arkansas and Tennessee. North Carolina. Florida, of course. New Hampshire (first time). Virginia. Louisiana. Sadly, I didn't travel to Minnesota like I'd wanted to. But I'd say 8 is pretty impressive.

7. Did you travel outside of the US in 2006? Nope.

8. What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2006? Did I see any movies in 2006? I remember the most recent one, "Stranger Than Fiction." Other than that, it was Cars, and Toy Story 1 and 2 about eleventy-million times. Of those I'd have to say Toy Story is my favorite.

9. What was your favorite song from 2006? Oh, hahaha. Like I know the current songs? I did love the new Keane album, so "Is It Any Wonder" would qualify. I listen to the "dave" station, dudes. OLD people music from the '80s and '90s.

10. How many people did you sleep with in 2006? (Hee hee. This meme must have come from MySpace.) Um, TWO. On a couple of our road trips, AJ shared the hotel bed with me and hubby. Heaven help my ribs those days.

11. Did you treat somebody badly in 2006? No, I don't think I intentionally treated anyone badly as a regular course of action. I will say, sometimes in the morning first thing, when I arrive at the office, I blatantly continue walking straight to my desk even when people begin to try and hold full-on conversations with me. (While my bag's still slung over my shoulder and keys in hand!) So that's probably not very nice.

12. How much money did you spend in 2006? Ouch. We spent a lot, actually. Bought a large furniture item, a couple plane tickets, too many restaurant lunches, a lot of EXTRA-EXPENSIVE GAS (remember that, 2006??), a new stove, and here at Christmas we've kinda gone hog-wild (for AJ!). *Sheepish grin*

13. What was your favorite book you read this year? I have to say The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver, because I had built it up in my mind so much for years, and it actually lived up to all that; even went beyond what I expected. I LEARNED from it, I was entertained, I was thrilled by it. In second place? Wickett's Remedy, by Myla Goldberg. Weird little interesting, delectable book.

That was fun! Happy Thursday 13! :)

An Open Letter to Harry Connick, Jr.

Dear Harry,

You're hot.

Wait, that just popped out accidentally... Let me start again. Dear Harry,

I want to thank you for recording your Christmas CD, "When My Heart Finds Christmas," long ago in 1993. That was back when you had kinda weird hair and before you started wearing your button-down silk shirts half open, but I liked you then anyway. This morning, like turned to love. Real, for-true, I HEART YOU love, and it's based not just on your looks (I swear), but on our mutual appreciation of excellent music.

You see, yesterday after a grump-inducing day at the office, I could not rebound from a very bad mood, for the life of me. Not even my darling son -- whom I know you would love, as he's got a thing for Red Beans & Rice, and the only beignets to ever have touched his lips were authentic Cafe du Monde ones during a New Orleans summer thunderstorm -- not even that perfect, precious boy could make me completely forget my stupid work aggravations last night. I went to bed dreading the wash-rinse-repeat that would become today.

But this morning.... oh, this morning! I thought that "I Pray on Christmas" was my favorite so I tried it first. But after that, I casually clicked my iPod to "Must Have Been Ol' Santa Claus," and I. ROCKED. OUT. in the car. All the way to work. Or, maybe I JAZZED OUT. Whatever car-dance style your song is intended for, I adopted it. In fact, I think I was possessed by it. HELLO, RHYTHM! It's really incredible the way you and your band can swing a syncopation. Bomp, bomp, bomp... a-BOMPBOMP. That rousing, happy I-V-I bass line. See? I'm a MUSICIAN, not just a little fan-girl. Man, my stereo was thumping. (I didn't even know Toyota Highlanders could thump.) I repeated it two or maybe even three times. I couldn't stop. Singing at the top of my lungs, sharing the beat with you guys. It turned me around.

So in this season of giving, I want you to know that I GIVE YOU a double thumbs-up. A super high-five. A big wet kiss on the neck. I mean, uhm... a hearty round of applause for your musical talents and your ability to change really bad moods. And maybe lives.

Happy Ho-Ho-Ho to you, too! My heart found Christmas for the day.

XOXOXO...xoxo,
(really.)
el-e-e

Hope upon hope

Yesterday AJ and I were sitting in the kitchen floor -- I love that expression, don't you? "In" the floor? It sounds like a playland -- paging through all of his artwork from November. Usually his wonderful teacher sends it home once a week, but I guess she's been busy. (Of course she has! I can't imagine being a daycare teacher. It blows my mind, what she does in one day.) There were orange pumpkins, and a spider made of two handprints pasted together with the fingers pointed outward (some October stuff, too), and a pilgrim that was colored all BROWN in long, swipey scribbles, and several letters and numbers which I will paste onto the dishwasher so we can look at them at eye level every day for a week or two.

AJ *loves* artwork. He calls it that, too. He actually seemed proud to be showing me all these things. At home, we have watercolor paints, a plastic smock, and an easel, and that has fast become his favorite activity other than watching videos. I just love watching him choose a color (always in succession, brown, purple, then green or blue, then yellow/orange/red, then black - the order they sit in the tray), then carefully choose a spot to paint (he always paints a character's eyes first), then he kind-of bounces while dipping his paintbrush in the water, dripping on the way back up to the paper -- it's so messy, and yet so purposeful. And magical.

Anyway, as we were sitting there and I watched him thumb through his pictures, I started to really hope that I am doing enough for him. Not in a down-in-the-dumps way, just because he is such a precious little person. Growing up so fast. I want to do everything, give everything, be everything that a child -- THIS particular child -- needs to grow and thrive.

I hope that sitting in the floor with you is good enough. I hope that canned vegetables are sometimes good enough. I hope that going to Publix after school is okay with you, and even fun sometimes. I hope that quiet weekends at home -- rather than family trips to children's adventure museums or the proverbial playdates -- are good enough. I hope that *I* -- me, the little person that I am, the nothing-more than my own small brain and my own heart -- am doing right by you.

Visions of sugarplums... poof!

A quick follow-up to my worry about my brother-in-law sleeping 'til 10:00am on Christmas morning. I shared this fear with Husband, who said, "Oh HELL, no, that guy will get up at SIX." Evidently the nine-year age difference between them meant my husband (the elder brother) was awakened repeatedly and unjustly on the Christmas mornings of his teen years. Four a.m. happened at least once, in his memory. Revenge is kinda sweet. :)

Shop with me, people

Please help me.

I'm flailing on husband's Christmas gift. Thankfully, he's fooled: two items sit wrapped under our tree with his name on them. Only I know that they are socks and t-shirts, and not "The" gift. It's come down to these two options:

1. Three 600-count CD binders that we saw at Best Buy when we completed all our other Christmas shopping last Friday. Now, while these are not exciting, he has been contemplating them for quite a while, and I'll admit, it'd be kinda nice to rid ourselves of the 1800 jewel cases which are DISPLAYED (yes, all of them) on the bachelor-esque TV stand in our living room. I'm torn, though, because I'd hate for it to seem like a self-serving gift... "Yay, now you have binders! Let's get new pretty furniture." But he did SAY he wanted them.

2. Nintendo's Wii. Now, he's only once said he might want this, but if I know my husband, I know that a brand-spanking-new game system is going to get high marks from him. And he hasn't had a Nintendo since the late '80s. (GameBoy and DS don't count. And would ya look at me, throwing out terminology like I have a clue!) He's a loyal fan of both Xbox360 and PlayStation, but I know for a fact he doesn't want (is not spending $600 for) their new PS3. So the Wii is the other latest and greatest out this season, and Nintendo is touting its motion-sensitive controller; you can flail it about like a tennis racket or a sword if you're serving or slashing, respectively. Even I think that's pretty cool. I think he'd like it, even if it's just to keep up with the current electronic goods.

The tough thing there is, when he wants a game system, he usually makes it very clear -- like, asks his mom for it outright. Or buys it himself. And he hasn't done either of those things. Second: His birthday is in January. So either gift is good; if I get the binders for Xmas and find out he really wanted the Wii... no problem. Birthday shopping done. But third, his Father's Day gift this year got completely botched and I feel like I owe him a good surprise. A watch or a bag o' socks just ain't going to cut it.

What say you??

Love Thursday

Love is sharing Mr. Potato Head with your cousins.

Get your Love Thursday on.

The Grandness of Imperfection

Work is kicking my tail end this week. This is probably a good thing. I'm sure I could use a kick or two. Lots on my mind, though.

I'm really enjoying the Advent/Christmas season so far, despite the fact that my first batch of cookies was a bust (don't substitute margarine for butter; it's Christmas for heaven's sake. Just... Butter.)... and despite that I haven't done my cards yet, or even begun to wrap/ship any presents. My house looks pretty with all its decoration -- I love thinking about why we decorate, by the way -- the old custom of decking the halls, preparing our homes for the coming of the Lord is so quiet and forgotten among the Clark-Griswoldness of modern decorating superfluousness (my neighborhood even has a contest) -- but it makes me happy to think about that kind of preparation, and try to focus on welcoming the Christ-child.

In fact, we're welcoming my in-laws, who are definitely coming. (Would be good if I could think about welcoming Jesus in each of them... *trying*) This means two things: 1) We don't have to travel! Hooray! AJ gets to have Santa come down his very own chim-a-nee, and 2) I'm going to stress out about Christmas dinner and have to practice patience when there are more than one of us bumping around MY kitchen using MY new oven. Heh. Let's see... there were Three Wise Men; maybe they all tripped over each other to give THEIR OWN gifts first. But all three gifts were important, yes? They each got a verse in the song. :) Perhaps a good metaphor to keep in mind.

I'll also have to fight the urge to orchestrate Christmas day. The thing is, I want it to be somewhat MY -- MINE and HUBBY'S and AJ'S -- new brand of Christmas, with our traditions and special things. Not just their usual Savannah Christmas moved to within my Atlanta walls. Ya know? My BIL and his girlfriend will be here for instance, and I'm sure that means the events of Christmas morning can't start immediately upon waking with AJ at 6:00am. At least not the "perfect matchy-pajamas Kodak moment all together with everyone," the way I'd like it. BUT. I'm hopeful that I won't let that bother me too much. The imperfection of family is what makes it family, what makes it REAL. So if AJ opens all his presents at 6:00, and then the others wander downstairs at 10:09, so be it. We'll wait and do their presents then. And if Pa-in-law turns on the (gulp) TV -- The Weather Channel like he always does -- then I'll have to just suck it up and change the channel when I get a chance to the Christmas music station. Then we'll all have breakfast (Second Breakfast no doubt, for some of us), and it will be warm and wonderful somehow.

Watch out. It's gettin' crazy over here.

Today I will be blogging working from a post on my pretty red sofa, facing the lighted Christmas tree, rather than my usual spot at the kitchen table (see right). Because it's Pretty and I Wanna.

If I were a normal person working from home, this wouldn't merit announcing. But I am a corporate drone who feels extreme guilt (and worries that OSHA might reprimand me) when I don't sit at some form of a DESK, with my hands and feet at 90-degree angles.

Nyah, nyah, I say today. And happy holidays. :)

P.S. From the sofa, I can see clearly the lower right-hand quadrant of our tree, heaviest of all with 14 "oh-na-mets" dangling precariously from the tippy-tips of their 6 saggy branches. (Yes, do the math.) Hee. So cute.

Easy, Breezy Recipe Monday

Look, diet or not, I like the cream sauces. Alfredo. Hollandaise. Bernaise. Mayonnaise.

Here's one I made the other night, using lo-fat versions of everything. It makes for a delicious chicken dish, with about half the guilt. ;)

Celery-Wine Baked Chicken see? right there, it's Celery. Healthy.

1/2 cup fresh sliced mushrooms
1 tbsp butter/margarine
1 (10.75-oz) can 98% fat-free cream of celery soup
1/4 c. chopped green pepper
1/4 c. diced celery
1/2 c. white wine
1/2 c. lite sour cream
4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
pinch paprika
pinch garlic powder
pinch black pepper
1 add'l tbsp butter/marg

First you sautee the mushrooms in 1 tbsp butter (or cheat like I do and open up a little can of B&Bs). Add them to a large bowl, along with the soup, vegetables, wine, and sour cream. Pour into a 9x13" dish. Top with chicken breasts. Sprinkle chicken with the spices, and dot with butter. Cover.

Bake in preheated 325° oven for 45 minutes to 1 hour.

Serve over pasta or rice (egg noodles are great; whole wheat pasta works, too).

...That Radio Song!

I just have to post this because it is hilarious and SPOT-ON. My favorite Thursday 13 list from A Flyover Blog:

13 Christmas Songs I Never Want To Hear Again (HA!!)

1. My Favorite Things by Rod Stewart. This is just wrong. Rod Stewart bears no resemblance to Julie Andrews.

2. Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree by Jessica Simpson. Why is this girl still around? She can't sing, act or talk, yet she's everywhere! Go away... and take your sister with you!

3. Happy Xmas (War Is Over) by John Lennon. The most pathetic holiday tune ever penned. (Emphasis mine.) Guaranteed to induce severe depression. Makes me want to fill my pockets with heavy rocks and wade into the river...

4. I Wonder As I Wander by anybody. Just plain odd. Gives my a tiny chest pain every time I hear it.

5. The Gift by Aselin Debison. Can't sing. Can't sing. Can't sing. (never heard this one but I'm sure she's right)

6. The Christmas Shoes by Newsong. I detest this wretched song! Emotional manipulation on an unparalled scale. Whoever wrote this convoluted piece of Christmas drivel should be brought to the town square and flogged! There, I feel better now.

...click for more! It's worth it, I swear.

In response, and to shake those awful tunes out of our heads, I will list here my FIVE FAVORITE, pleasant-to-hear, happy-inducing Christmas songs.

1. "Sleigh Ride" by Johnny Mathis, Any Grant, or the classic orchestral version. I can't decide; I like 'em all.

2. "God Rest You, Merry Gentlemen" (choral). The poetry of the lyrics, the harmonies of voice, the minor-to-major resolution at the end...? PERFECT Christmas tune.

3. "Here Comes Santa Claus" (by I don't know who)... AJ's favorite, apparently. "Come Here, Santa Claus," he says. This cute-ism, I know, will live forever in our family lore. I'm trying to learn all the lyrics. I love the end, "So let's sing praise to the Lord above, for Santa Claus comes tonight." :)

4. In Dulci Jubilo. You're not going to hear this on 94.9 Lite FM. Too bad, because it's so upbeat and LATIN. Was my favorite performance in my college chorus (possibly because I had a small part in the special quartet).

5. I Pray On Christmas, by Harry Connick Jr. Not a traditional carol, but it's one of the 4 or 5 albums that I drag out every year.

"I pray on Christmas (Oh, sweet Jesus)
that the sick will soon be strong,
I pray on Christmas, the Lord will hear my song,
I pray on Christmas that God will lead the way...
and I pray on Christmas He'll get me through another day."

About all we can ask, right? :) (Boy, is it hard to just choose FIVE!) Oh wait. I have to put this one:

"Jingle Bells," by Herb Alpert. HA! What am I DOING with this album?? I don't know, but I love it. I wish I could attach a clip because it's so funny and loungey but I don't really know how to do that.

Anyway, happy holiday listening!