Update on the Attitude Update

So, after a full week of Not Complaining About My Job, it appears.... I have nothing to share here.

Ho, ho, ho. Just kidding. I did have a pretty decent week last week, just by working HARD to improve my attitude. And breathing deeply, and counting blessings, and listening to some really good tunes, loudly, on my headphones. All those things.

Want to see the Playlist?

• Mumford & Sons -- Roll Away Your Stone is just unbelievably awesome 
• Catherine Wheel -- Satellite (thank you, DH, for introducing me to them so many years ago)
• The Church -- Metropolis and Business Woman
• Beck!! Oh my gosh, I'd forgotten how fun Beck is! Where It's At was on infinite repeat a couple of days last week and I danced in my chair
• Coldplay - Lovers in Japan/Reign of Love makes me so happy
• The Flaming Lips - Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robot (no robots will defeat me! YouTube it right now. Note: video=odd)
• Travis -- Sing. Sing, sing, sing!

I will admit that Monday this week was difficult. Over the weekend I find less need to manage the moments and be mindful, because the weekends are Nice! So I got out of practice and my brain tilted back to its OLD default of Monday Grumble Grumble. I knew it, as it was going on, but I couldn't seem to cheerlead my way out of it, that day.

I mean, Mondays are hard no matter what, right? They ARE.

So we'll have to work on that a bit more.

I also haven't had any other time on the computer at home, to continue to the next step of Anzman's book, but I will.

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KT started wearing uniforms this week at her Pre-K. This is the first year they've done uniforms -- it's a daycare, so only the oldest kids, the 3s and 4s, are wearing them. Because of this, some of the sizes have not yet been delivered and so, some of KT's friends aren't wearing their uniforms yet. Which makes it hard for me to convince her that she needs to wear hers. She love, love, loved it on the first day. Looked so cute, even though she chose a hot pink headband and socks, that didn't exactly match (the school hasn't specified all the way down to socks or accessories).

The second day? The shine wore right off. "I HATE MY UNIFORM! I DON'T WANNA WEAR IT I WANNA WEAR MY YELLOW DRESS!!"

The very [stupid,exhausting] morning situation I had hoped uniforms would deter.

WE CANNOT WIN, MAMAS.

(But I have a good attitude about work! Tra-la! And P.S. I am rocking the Room Mom situation so far!)

Here's what

Here's what (hat tip Andy Cohen):

Every moment has to be planned out, almost. Every hour, definitely, for productivity's sake, but sometimes even the moments in-between.

When I am prepping to go to bed, I am managing that moment by actively trying NOT to be grumpy about going to work the next day. Instead I'm actively reminding myself how nice that moment is -- washing my face in warm water, the fragrance of my favorite Aveeno night cream, the feeling of a clean mouth full of brushed teeth, and how awesome -- awesome! -- it will feel to finally stretch out under the cool sheets.

When I get out of my car to walk into the office the next day, I manage it by parking in a prettier spot than the middle of the lot. I found a spot under a tree that requires me to walk down a flowery path to the office door, instead of the other route, which is just crossing over the asphalt, and I do this so that the walk into the building can be called pleasant.

I want to call this gratitude, but right now it's mostly just moment-management. I'll have to work up to gratitude.

It's about to be our most stressful time of the year at work and I can feel the unpleasantness all around me.

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No.

I wrote the above yesterday. Then, last night after dinner, I got to work reading a book -- more non-fiction slash self-help! mid-life crisis?! -- I had downloaded from the fabulous Melissa Anzman, called, appropriately, Stop Hating Your Job. I mean, is that the perfect title or what? And I have homework:

Today is the end of my negativity about my job.

I am announcing it here, to my support network, because that it what you all are, really: women I admire, my DH, and my Mom. I will need your support. This is a pretty big change (I'm sorry to admit).

Not to give away the book or anything, but Anzman is pretty smart. First she has you list out ALLLLLL the things you hate about your job. I thought that exercise was funny because, DUH, not like I've never done THAT before, in the back pages of a notebook or on an unpublished draft here on the ol' blog!! Ha!

But then after letting you have your vent, she says basically this: It's your attitude.

And I have known this all along. It's why I've been working so hard to be more peaceful, to be more grateful -- I know, it's ME.

(NOT that it couldn't also be the job -- and I sure hope that the 2nd half of the book offers some good advice for if you really do think you're ready for a change, because I definitely might be. She certainly has that kind of advice on her website.)

I'm sure I'll mess up and complain a little here and there. I'll try not to. But I have a new mantra, new ways to manage the moments of the workday, and it's time to make HAPPY my default setting. I find it weird and shocking that it requires so much mental WORK for that to happen, but maybe that's what I've been missing all along.

Room Mom

I got chosen to be one of AJ's room moms! (Or at least that's the rumor... haven't gotten the official email yet.) It feels like I passed an audition or a cheerleading tryout or something (there were a lot who volunteered for the job). Now, to see if I can pull it off...!

Lined up

Student Orientation today. At the public schools around here they call them “Sneak-a-Peek” days. I took AJ over to school, watched him carry his heavy new backpack (his first legitimate Jansport, non-character one!) down the big hill, met his teacher, crammed his desk full of supplies and fat textbooks (it really does get harder as they move up) and we were done. No big emotional deal, which is a first for Mommy, I’m embarrassed to admit. Usually I get teary – good tears – that this gets to be my life, taking my boy to a school that feels like home, seeing friends that feel genuine. Today it was just 3rd Grade, business as usual. I was still happy, and he was too, but it's just what we do. Normal.

He looked bigger – several teachers and parents said they could tell he’d grown taller. Praise God, since I pray for it daily. Bless his sweet heart; he may always be small, and that is perfectly okay with me, but I know it’s kinda tough on him right now. He has classmates who are taller than he (him?) by teens of inches. Taller than me. And he hasn’t lost any teeth yet! I’m told this means they’re healthy, and that his adult teeth will also be healthy blahblah, but MAN, do I wish he could get a visit from the Tooth Fairy before he’s too old to believe in her anymore! Pray with me, Internet.

Yesterday I went to the mall to buy KT her uniform skirts and shorts. (Nothing like leaving it ‘til the last minute, right?) TCP had exactly 2 khaki pleated skirts and 2 navy pleated skirts, in her size. I actually got one of them in a 5 (too big), because by February, she WILL be five. These will go with 2 navy polo shirts, and two gold/yellow polos, which her pre-K will order for her. She’ll also receive her very own school-logoed backpack (shh, it’s a surprise) when she starts next week. Pre-K! I can’t believe it. So big. Workbooks and backpacks and a navy blue headband to go with her uniform. She can't wait, I think. We're trying to make a Very Big Deal about it for her.

It’s going to be a good year. Really busy, to be sure. Jiu Jitsu, Ballet, Cub Scouts, maybe swim lessons (?), volunteering, having friends... plus a new niece on the way, and probably a trip to Disney at Thanksgiving, on the family side of the calendar. But this is The Life. An absolutely full, fun, good, healthy life. It has become so clear to me this summer: I can actually say, “I have it all.”

Playtime

KT is in an imaginary phase. She loves to play 'Mommy and Sister,' where she is the Mommy and I am the Sister (Daughter). Sometimes she tells me, "Honey, I have to go to work now! You can stay here and take care of our Baby (doll). Don't forget to change her diaper! Bye!" It's cute. When I'm feeling mischievous, I sit on a chair and demand that she bring me snacks, made in her play-kitchen. She doesn't know to say, "You can get up and get your own snack," like her mother does. Heh, heh. Other times she pretends that she has a date with her boyfriend, Derek. And her name, in this instance, is Emily, thankyouverymuch. When she calls me "Mom" instead of "Mommy," I am required to know to respond with, "Yes, Emily?" If I don't, she'll pause and wait for me to figure it out. I don't know where she learned the name Derek. We don't know anyone with that name. But I know that he takes her to restaurants, and that she changes into a dress to get ready for these dates, and she carries her purse.

She is pretty fun.