Overwhelmed

Hurricane Katrina aftermath. I can't stop listening to the news, and at the same time I can't bear to think about it. I want to do something to help, and I also want to distance myself far from the sadness and depth of the tragedy. A friend lost her father in Mississippi -- a falling tree killed him. That's so unreal. And yet it's not; it actually happened. To someone I know. My mom has elderly cousins in southeast Louisiana -- rural towns that no one's even heard from yet. These are people I know -- people I've spent holidays with -- people who tell wonderful stories with a natural, absolutely endearing Cajun accent. And we aren't sure if they're okay because they had called us beforehand to say they were going to ride it out. (In truth, it probably would have been difficult for them to pack up hurriedly and leave, so I don't even blame them for staying.) It's just too much; I am sad for our country, for the very special city of New Orleans, and for all the devastated victims. If you or your family are among them, I'm praying for you.

Fish tacos

Today is Tuesday -- the best day of the week as far as I'm concerned, besides Saturday of course. On Tuesdays, my team at work has a 10am meeting in Midtown. Since our new office is FAR and FAR from Midtown, our manager doesn't make us go in before the meeting, provided we check email and phone messages and generally get something done at home (as far as he knows). My Darling Husband drives AJ to daycare, and ergo.... I have the whole morning all to myself. See how that works?

I just vacuumed the upstairs, a quick little task of 3 bedrooms and two tile floors when I'm not using the hose on the lamps and bookshelves (which is never). DH is much more thorough. It isn't fun to vacuum, but the feeling of having it done is quite nice. Now I'm sitting down with a creamy, steamy cup of cafe au lait and my blog. Sweet bliss. Listening to the "O Brother, Where Art Thou" soundtrack. ("Keep on the sunny side, always on the sunny side, keep on the sunny side of life!") The dog's at my feet, snoozing quietly. It was rainy all night and still kind-of is, making for my favorite kind of weather.

Even better than all this is that, after our 10am meeting, I will drive the short distance to this restaurant, one of Atlantans' favorites, and I will order Fish Tacos and corn chowder and I will eat and be very satisfied. I will also remember to purchase a to-go order for my Darling Husband. And then he will be happy, which actually makes me happiest of all.

New clickies*

Two of my recent favorites have been added to the Good Reads list over there ...take your place of honor, ladies! [Trumpet fanfare! Tah-doo-doo-dah!] I have many blogs bookmarked, but only a few make the link-to-me cut. It means I consider your writing superior. Congratula-see-ons!

Indigo Girl is a woman of exceptional strength and vigor, as she is raising, in her words, "two Junior Mints." Twins, people! God loveher. She writes brilliantly -- and, a lot! of which I'm jealous -- and has spectacular insight into the ages and stages. (Also, her girls are about the same or a little ahead of AJ's age and development, so I'm getting tips and tricks from her! Bonus!)

And thatgirl, from Dance As if Nobody is Watching, observes gently, astutely and hilariously as her little ones grow; her youngest is 9 months (making ME look like the expert with tips and tricks -NOT-); she has enough archives to keep me busy on the off-chance I ever have a whole sick day all to myself; and she lives with a real-live Cowboy, how cool is that?? (being originally from Texas myself, I think that is very cool.)

Thanks for helping me procrastinate, new friends!

*Term stolen right from suburban misfit, who's inching her way right up onto my list, as well.

Oh dear oh dear oh dear

(Notice my overuse of three-repeat headlines lately? What does that mean, do you think?)

Nervous for a friend of mine who, at this moment, is having a Conversation. With her Boss. Who's also my Boss. Eeeeeeeeeek.

Music review: Foo Fighters' new album -- the 2nd acoustic disc -- is fantabulous. Dave Grohl has a really beautiful singing voice. It's too bad the 1st disc in the set consists of him screeching for 10 songs. I can't get into too much of that, although I've only listened once. We'll see if it grows on me. (I doubt you thought I listened to the likes of FF! Surprise!)

AJ review: Woke up coughing this morning. I am In Prayer that he doesn't have Croup, for which there is a sign on the daycare door: "A student in Infant 1 has been diagnosed with Croup." We're in Infant 2, mind you, but that doesn't mean we haven't been exposed. Still... hello, scare tactics. As if it's the Pox or Ebola. My faithful Dr. Sears says this: "Is Croup contagious? Yes, it is about as contagious as the common cold. Good hand washing is important to prevent spread." So, perhaps not a life-or-death threat as advertised. But, dear me. Don't be sick, Baby. I've got my cool-mist humidifer at the ready, just in case he starts barking.

Storm review: Good lord, we're all the way to K. Poor Pensacola, home of my entire extended family, is supposed to be bracing for another Fun Time Hurricane. I don't wish any harm to anyone, but... go to Texas, Katrina. They're tougher and less battle-scarred over there -- they can handle you, Miss Category 2-and-a-half. We've had enough of your kind in the Panhandle of F-L-A.

Wimpy, wimpy, wim-py

I think I remember that others of you out there in the universe do this, too: When you're having an "issue" with your husbands or friends or co-workers, sometimes it's easier to "confront" them with an email than in person. I just did that. Husband and I are dealing with an "issue" -- nothing to worry about and thanks for your concern -- but I wasn't brave enough to just bring it up last night. I had to write him an email. Is that so cowardly of me? It makes me cringe and, as the Genie in Aladdin once said, "I feel sheepish." But I hope it will spark just the conversation we need to have.

Waste time much?

Sometimes during the weekend, I'll think of all these brilliant things I want to blog about, but when I get to the computer on Monday morning, every idea has vanished from my brain. Lately the only things on my mind have been soooo mundane: What are we going to have for dinner this week, how did AJ get that scratch on his cheek, did I write the check to daycare, when will I ever have time to clean out that flower pot and plant something new in it, will this dog ever stop shedding... nothing too earth-shattering. You may have noticed, if you read with any regularity!

And so, to celebrate the season of Not Much Going On, here is a lovely little meme for you.

"Getting to Know You"
1. What is your occupation? Web producer and content writer
2. What are you listening to right now? My own typing skills and the hum of a flourescent light
3. What are you wearing right now? Red floral tank top, red capri pants
4. What was the last thing you ate? Wheat bagel with light cream cheese and peach salsa, yum.
5. Do you wish on stars? YES
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? I can't decide. RED, or Spring Green
7. How is the weather right now? Haven't been out yet but I bet it's hot and humid
8. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Probably my husband
9. Where would you go right now, if you could go anywhere? Bed.
10. How old are you today? 31
11. Favorite drink? Coca-Cola classic over ice
12. What is your favorite sport? Um, reading? I guess baseball, in terms of general sports. I also like the girly ones like gymnastics.
13. Have you ever dyed your hair? Highlighted, yes
14. Do you wear contacts? Nope
15. Pets? Napoleon, lab-chow mix
16. Favorite month? December
17. Favorite food? Pizza or Mexican (how many times have I answered that question the exact same way??)
18. What was the last movie you watched? "Must Love Dogs"
19. Favorite day of the year? Christmas Day
20. What do you do to vent anger? Whine aloud to whomever is standing closest. Write in blog. Call sister.
21 What was your favorite toy as a child? It depends on the year... Fashion Plates ranked pretty high up...my diary wasn't really a toy but I spent a lot of time with it... I guess dolls, in general. Ooh, and my chalkboard! Won it in a "toy walk" at the city "Jubiliee" one year and adored that thing! Subjected my sister to MANY games of "School" where I was the teacher (and thus, the only one who got to use the chalkboard)!
22. Fall or Spring? Fall
23. Hugs or kisses? Hugs
24. Cherry or Blueberry? Cherry
25. Living arrangements? House (3br/2ba) in a subdivision in a suburb
26. When was the last time you cried? Last time I had PMS! No wait, yesterday, watching AJ play (he was so cute and it just got to me, all of a sudden. And maybe there was some sappy commercial on at the same time...*embarrassed shrug*)
27. What is on the floor of your closet? Shoes, a couple of baseball caps, shoe boxes
28. Who is the friend you have had the longest? My sister
29. What did you do last night? Made dinner, played with AJ, cleaned up the kitchen, read a magazine, watched Anthony Bourdain's new show
30. Favorite smell? just-bathed AJ
31. Favorite day of the week? Saturday
32. How many states have you lived in? 3 = TX, FL, GA
33. How many cities have you lived in? Are we counting suburbs? Then, 6. Hereford Tx, Pensacola, Atlanta, Decatur, Marietta, and Paris ("lived" there for 6 weeks)
34. How did you meet your mate? At work
35. What person has inspired you the most in your life? Such a hard question. I guess, at one time, my friend Jenny inspired me a whole lot. She was very vibrant, a couple of years older than me, and I adored her. She helped me "find" my personality, I think (this was when I was a teen). Or if not that, she brought out a side of my personality that wasn't known to me -- my silly, extroverted, make-a-fool-of-myself and do-unexpected-things side. We had the best times together, doing anything from reading poetry to tap-dancing to having rainy-afternoon picnics to just driving around, or giggling like crazy while we brushed our teeth. Ah, to be young! We lost touch after college and since then, have communicated sporadically, but our lives aren't very similar anymore. She stayed in theater and played the lead roles and the quirky ones, and I moved more inside myself, started singing choral music and thus becoming more "unseen," as a blended voice rather than a stand-out. Funny how our hobbies mirrored our personalities a bit. Last time we were together we were clearly on two different planes. But I treasure what she meant to me, and how we inspired each other.

Hey, feel free to play along if you've read all the way to the end (and if you're bored like I was)!

[Evil laugh...] Grocery Success!

Ha, ha, ha, Child: I am sneaky and your vegetables are coming!

On the Side

Headline homage to The Amateur Gourmet
...but having nothing to do with food...

We got an estimate from the siding guy. Only $5900 to re-side the front and stage-right side of our house, in vinyl. We currently have a "composite" wood siding, which Siding Guy told us was not much more than compressed sawdust. You can read all about the many class action lawsuits against this kind of siding. Sadly, the statue of limitations has long since passed so we won't be getting any money for it. Which I'm sorta glad about -- the hassle of figuring THAT out would've driven me out of my gourd. Anyhoo, won't it be fun to spend six thousand bucks on vinyl siding?! Once this year, and again next year for the back and stage-left? I can hardly wait.

I went to see a movie on Friday night with a girlfriend. We had a good time and the movie "Must Love Dogs," was exceptionally girly. Not particularly good, but watchable. I adore Diane Lane. And who doesn't adore John Cusak? After "Say Anything," he can do no wrong in my eyes, and if anyone from my generation disagrees, I'd be interested to know about it. I can't imagine. He'll forever be stamped "Romantic Ideal" if you ask me. Which is why, I suppose, he chose to do this sickeningly romantic "post-divorce love story." Even as he gets older, (and fatter), his character's still got that charm and sensibility. Perhaps the same character every time, naysayers might cry? Probably, but this does not matter. Predictable? Yes. He gets the girl in the end? Yes. He blathers on "philosophically" in run-on sentences about kickboxing? No, he blathers about rowing in this one. But we don't care! We love ya anyway, Johnny C. The outing was just what I needed. The ice cream, I did not need. But it was tasty!

A veggie tale

Or, My Kid Eats Meat.

My darling child, no matter what I do, will not eat a vegetable unless it is a green bean. I have exhausted myself to try to figure out how to serve other vessels of vitamins and minerals so that he will think, "Delicious! Give me more!!" So far, it hasn't happened. Ketchup doesn't help. Cheese doesn't help. Butter and brown sugar (on carrots) doesn't help. Zesty Italian dressing, no (come on! It's Zesty!!). Ranch dressing, no. Disguising vegetables in vanilla yogurt, no (although it did work, back when he was too young to know better). I've tried broccoli, carrots, peas, Veg*All, creamed corn (yummy!), avacado, asparagus, zucchini, cucumber... all the baby-friendly veggies I can think of. I haven't tried spinach yet but he wouldn't even eat that out of the baby food jar. I fear no good would come of it.

I am about to have a cow. So to speak. (But dangit, he'll EAT cow.)

It's soooo frustrating to KNOW that toddlers can take a while to warm up to a food, and therefore, you have to try it many zillions of times before they might eat it. So instead, I keep trying NEW ones, all the while continuing to try the same old ones, and nothing works. I've been reading about how to disguise veggies in chili, spaghetti sauce, etc... but I want him to love vegetables for the pure love of them! I mean, who can resist a cool cucumber on a summer afternoon? The crrrrunch! of a bell pepper? The wascally wabbit's favorite carrot?? Perhaps, I'll admit, he's a bit young for that kind of gourmet sensibility, but I mean -- butter and brown sugar? How does one not love that?!

Of course he's also very adept at dropping vegetables onto the floor for the dog. He can even announce that he's about to do it, with his adorable, almost inaudible "Uh-ohhh." Deliver me from the constant cuteness!

Green beans it is, I guess, until I can figure this out. He is absolutely going to turn in to a green bean. Or... I've heard there is such a thing as a "Veggie Stick." In the frozen foods aisle. Not too sure how "real" that kind of veggie is, but it may serve us well until he's oh, fifteen, and can appreciate a good raw biome.

Why it's great to be a Mommy:

Because, when you forget that you have an 8:00 am dentist appointment and make your coffee in the programmable coffee pot the night before, but you can't drink it in the morning before the appointment (natch, and ewww), you can keep it warm in the car while you drive to the dentist's office using your Handy Bottle Warming Device! (And even though your baby has totally outgrown needing his bottle warmed, you're too tired and forgetful and busy (being a Mommy) to have removed that device months ago -- it's still conveniently packed in the backseat pocket.) :)

It came! It came!

My latest amazon purchase arrived today! Containing this:

Awesome Children's CD No. 1

and this:

Awesome Children's CD No. 2

I am like a kid at Christmas hopping around and dancing in my living room. :)

AJ seems to like kinda like 'em, too.

Aww, man

One of my favorite pals is quitting her blog. I am bummed about this because it's a good blog. It was the reason I decided I wanted one. She's a talented writer and I will miss learning from her way with words. She always seems to pinpoint the exact thoughts in her head with the perfect phrase, and it's never pithy or cliche.

She has her reasons, and they're valid. The powerful, friendly Internet has a sinister side, too, whereby friends (or enemies) interpret the written word in a manner most unlike what the writer intended. This happened recently in a string of emails from my parish's former choir director to the new choir director. If you can believe this, name-calling was exchanged between them, and of course those who were CC'd had to jump in to defend, or to add their rude commentary, too. It was all based on somebody's memo-gone-awry. So feelings were hurt, (immaturities proven), and a whole bunch of unbecoming DRAMA ensued. It blew over (after a priest who was CC'd chimed in with quite a reprimand), but it's an illustration of what can happen when our lives, and our dashed-off notes, are chronicled, passed around, filed away, and read and re-read. There's a term I've learned that also applies -- "assvice." I love when people preface their blog comments with "I have this assvice to give:" As if they know they're providing something without being asked, and that they will be seen as jerks for doing so. But... sometimes people don't preface. Anyway, I'm sorry for my friend. She seems sad to bid goodbye to a whole part of herself. But sometimes you just have to make a clean break and forget it.

Welcome, the Idiot Box

I am guilty: I watched the Teletubbies yesterday with AJ. He is finally starting to notice the television, much to my dismay, but I know that's a developmental milestone, too, so I guess it's good as long as we keep it on PBS or Disney, and not on the video game channel. At first I thought, "Whoa, maybe all the research is right, and kids really do like these (wacked-out, drug-induced) Teletubbie guys," because AJ was mezmerized by their weird little talking and the Baby-Head sunshine thing. He even danced once or twice with the music, and smiled and pointed. But every once in a while, he was obviously weirded out (as was I), because he'd let out a little whimper and screw up his face just the tiniest bit. So I think they're weird. I may not watch them again.

I will, however, let him watch Sesame Street, which he seems to be enjoying more and more, and buy him the Cookie Monster CD that DH and I have been craving for months now (we LOVE "If me knew you were coming, me'd have baked a cake." Now that is Classic Cookie). I will also let him watch "Clifford the Big Red Dog," because it is so funny to watch him "barking" at all the other dogs on that show. He stood there yesterday and went, "AAh.... Aah.... Aah.... Aah!" in rapid-fire succession. Which is cute because he doesn't ever "bark" at Napoleon, he just pants. But these dogs apparently needed a Talking To.

In the details.

This is long and has Bible quotes. You've been warned.

I have had a very big lack of faith-practice lately. And I don't just mean not going to church, although that has been a problem in and of itself since I was in college. I just don't really go unless a) I'm at home with my parents, or b) I'm bound by a choir gig. The Catholic "Sunday Obligation" isn't enough for me, I guess; I need a calendar-specific reason. So, I've been on the schedule as a cantor the last 2 weekends, but before that (and not including my sister's wedding Mass), I have just slacked about church this summer. It doesn't help that AJ is in a very squirmy stage and I'm using it as an excuse, nor that DH, for all his good intentions, doesn't really like the process of getting all dressed up and going to church -- he feels like it's interrupting his only relax-time on the weekend, i.e., he gets all dressed up 5 days a week for work. And I respect that. He works hard. It's okay to want 2 days off. So ANYWAY, this post isn't really supposed to be about that. (And here's where I have to throw in an apology to my Mom because I don't know that I've ever admitted outright to her that I don't attend church every week. Surely she knows that, though. Right? Shirley. Sorry, Mom.)

What this post is about is the very wide absence of any spiritual awareness in my life lately. I mean, usually I can see around me all the good things that are of God -- the breeze that cools me, the good fact that I have a job, even when I'm feeling down about it, the real love that I feel for Husband and AJ, and that LOVE = GOD, and there you go. Usually, I spend more time thinking on those things. Lately? Nothing. I'm wandering around without a compass, I guess. I don't read the Bible (cradle Catholic, I told you), I don't do daily devotionals, I don't even read Beliefnet anymore. I think part of it is that I'm just totally distracted by this child-raising thing. I mean, you parents know it is a CONSTANT activity -- one never gets a chance to NOT think about the child. To ignore him for a while. I know, I know, take time for yourself and blah blah blah... but it never really includes reflective time. If I do that, I want to read a book or get a massage or do some shopping. Or, you know, if I was feeling motivated, I'd workout. (HA.) Don't misunderstand, I am keenly aware, every time I look at AJ, that he is an extremely precious gift from God and my part in helping to create him is nothing short of a miracle. The fact that God would trust me with such a responsibility is pretty mind-blowing.... but my mind stays pretty much blown with "What am I going to feed the kid for dinner THIS time (turkey dogs and green beans, again)?"

So it struck me on Sunday, when I was sitting at church in the cantor's seat, trying NOT to listen to the reading -- trying, instead, to practice the next song in my head -- that all of a sudden God was finding a way to poke at me and say, "HEY! Listen up, you. Pay attention." He is very good at this, in my experience. It's all in the littlest things -- God is in the details, as they say. First reading: 1 Kings 19: (excerpt)
Elijah came to a cave where he took shelter.
Then the LORD said to him,
"Go outside and stand on the mountain before the LORD;
the LORD will be passing by."
...but the LORD was not in the wind.
After the wind there was an earthquake--
but the LORD was not in the earthquake.
After the earthquake there was fire--
but the LORD was not in the fire.
After the fire there was a tiny whispering sound.

Ahem. [God's booming voice, whispering:] "I am here. But I whisper. You have to work a bit harder to hear Me."

Second reading, which called me right out: Romans 9:1-5: ...my conscience joins with the Holy Spirit in bearing me witness that I have great sorrow and constant anguish in my heart. For I could wish that I myself were accursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my own people, my kindred according to the flesh.

[me looking around] Who, me?? This is precisely it. I am kinda sorrowful and anguished lately, faith-wise. And obviously cutting myself off from Christ. (Or, at least from the Church, which is sometimes of Christ and sometimes... well, that's a whole other topic.) Hmph. Alright, what about the Gospel reading? Surely three in a row won't be so dang personal. And then...

[as God chuckled:] Matthew 14:
Meanwhile the boat, already a few miles offshore,
was being tossed about by the waves, for the wind was against it.
During the fourth watch of the night,
he came toward them walking on the sea...
Peter said to him..."Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water."
He said, "Come." Peter got out of the boat and began to walk on the water toward Jesus.
But when he saw how strong the wind was he became frightened;
and, beginning to sink, he cried out, "Lord, save me!"
Immediately Jesus stretched out his hand and caught Peter,
and said to him, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?"

Ummm. Okay, wow. By this time I had hastily pulled out my hymnal to make sure they were reading the right ones for this week. "Ye of little faith." So you see? It's in the details and perhaps if I turn my mind toward them and pay better attention, I can get my spirit back.

There were other things, I think, the rest of that day. I can't remember them all now, but things like when I went into church, it was raining and gray, and so was my mood (childish bad attitude about having to be at church when I didn't wanna)... but when we came out, after all that revelation during the readings, hmm, surprise, the sun was shining again. And see? I think of that as significant. Or, at least, illustrative. Another way of God trying to say "You see what I can do? I can turn things back around if you'll just NOTICE."

So. I'm trying to be better about keeping my eyes open. Oh yeah, and my heart. I'm still not 100% there yet. But that's another thing I realized... that I think it's OKAY. This is the way the path has turned for the moment, and I'm still walking. And it may be this way for some time to come. Maybe I'm only going to get small inklings of God right now. He gives us what we can handle.

Visit from the 'rents

My parents are coming to visit this weekend. Yay! I love when they call and say "Hey, ummm.... can we come visit?" My Dad always adds, "I'm pretty sure AJ needs to see me." I love that. He is so stuck on this kid. First grandson, and all. I told him that AJ was playing outside a lot lately, and I think that's what did it. He just saw him 3 weeks ago but he can't stand it much longer than that. So cute. I am sure those 2 will wear their baseball caps this weekend! And, bonus... I now have a babysitter for Saturday! You know what that means. DATE NIGHT!

Boo-boo report

How cute is it that Daycare provides a Boo-Boo Report?? Since we're in the Big Kids' Room now, walking and talking and climbing and all, we of course have this danger. I love it. The teacher wrote, "We applied ice and gave AJ lots of love and he didn't even cry, but a small bruise might appear." He is becoming quite the little boy, with scrapes on his knees from toddling along the driveway, mosquito bites on his face because when he's outside, he's much too busy to bother shooing the bugs away, and now this lovely bruise/scratch in the middle of his forehead. It's very Harry Potter, actually. He was fighting off He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named, I guess. The best part is his 1-year portrait is supposed to be taken tomorrow. Lovely. Guess we'll be calling the studio today to reschedule! If I'm paying good money, I want him to be Porcelain.

The other night, he was taking his bath. Bathtime at our household is mostly an exercise in distraction. AJ does not like, nor has he ever liked, water in his face. He gets very upset. We're still hopeful that one day he'll figure out that it's fun -- and we're getting a few signs of that, like when he "tastes" the water now, smacking his lips, instead of screaming his head off. But as a rule, bathtime is not our favorite time. We get in, we get clean, we play as much as we can stand, and we're done. So this last bath, we were playing the body parts game. He knows his tongue, eyes, hair, feet, and is about to figure out his nose. We were trying out new parts... where's your belly button? Arm? Chin? Knees... when Daddy got the bright idea to ask, "AJ, where's your pee-pee?" (Leave it to a man to be sure and remember the MOST IMPORTANT body part of all.) Honestly, it was as if he looked back at us and said, "This thing has a NAME?" Of course, it is a pretty obvious part, easy-to-access and all. Well, ACCESS IT, he did, and then couldn't STOP accessing it. "HOW CURIOUS!" he must have been thinking to himself. Daddy and Mommy had the conversation about, "Should we call it by its actual name? ...Nah, "p*nis" just sounds too strange to say aloud all the time, right? Right. Pee-pee is an easier word for kids to grasp (so to speak)... etc..." while AJ continued "learning" it. He even looked up and sounded it out, grinning at us: "Puh-puh." As I said, the Art of Distraction comes in handy during the bath. We finally succeeded. Finally. "Hey, look, AJ, your BOAT! There's Captain Eddie! WOW, isn't that fun!?" And, "peek-a-boo! Hey! Look over here...PEEK-A-BOOOO!!" But it was no easy feat. "FEET! AJ, where are your FEET?!"

A wet riot, I tell you. Mommy had tears in her eyes from laughing, and Daddy just grinned and shook his head, guilty of starting this, and unable to verbalize the concept, this father-son thing, this brotherhood of man.

Amazing what a little B6 can do*

Today is a very good day. AJ and I are at home, and I'm working, although there isn't a whole lotta work to do -- the client phone call I needed to make this morning has been made, and I keep checking email but there's nothing significant. Therefore, much to my delight, I was able to clean the crusted green beans and oatmeal out from the tiny cracks and crevices of our highchair, and put the cushion through a looong wash cycle. I hope to be able to start the casserole I'm making for Book Club tomorrow night, and maybe even run the vacuum over the living room. Wouldn't that be nice?

We found, while cleaning the highchair, the Duck that's been missing for more than a week. Hooray! We wer sure it had gone out with the trash, as that's AJ's favorite activity of late -- putting things IN. Wish he'd find a different receptacle, but hey, he's learning, right?

And on an unrelated note, I have become determined to find a good park around here -- one with swingsets and things for AJ to climb on. He just LOVES being outside. On Saturday, we took him out for a while in our yard, and brought his plastic baseball bat and Daddy's glove. Got some cute pictures of that scene -- Daddy showing him how to hold the glove, him putting the ball in it. I wish we could do that every day, all of us together! It was a moment that will last in my heart, so precious and so fleeting (mostly due to the heat and the mosquitos -- we had to make a hasty retreat when it got unbearable). It's wet out today so the "park" project might be for another time. But I'm still smiling at the thought of future baseball games in the grass, and AJ learning to throw and catch and run.

*Vitamin B6, one of my best friends. Good for what ails ya. And for what makes you cry inexplicably (yesterday).

All grown up (me)

Just attended the latest 401k seminar at work. Ugh. Overall, things like that make me hate being a grown up. But at the moment -- truly just 5 minutes after the workshop has ended -- I'm a little bit motivated. What I want to do is take a day (or a week?!) off to focus on nothing but FINANCES. Husband and I have been wanting to sit down and "do a budget" for ages. We need to do that, plus all this retirement planning (we already save regularly, but not very attentively), plus college planning for AJ, plus just regular old savings plans. Like I said, we already do all of these, but I would feel better about it if I could FOCUS on it, and nothing else, for at least a day. I'm thinking it would really require more time than that.

Yuck. You can ask my Dad, I HATE talking finances. He usually catches my wrath when he brings stuff like this up. But while I'm somewhat inspired, I'd better take advantage.

(Attention coworkers, this is a good seminar... you'd be wise to go.)

My CIO post

This post is sort-of about Crying It Out. You're right -- I'm so five minutes ago. Blog history was made on this subject a full month ago, but here, it's the current event of the day. Not because I'm debating whether or not to try it. I'm all for it. (Here come the tomatoes.)

Starting at about 8 months, I got serious about putting AJ to sleep with a very specific routine. And it goes like this: (We usually change into jammies before time to go to bed, so assuming that's done)
1.Take Blankie and AJ up to his room, brush "teeth."
2. Sit in the rocking chair together and read 1 or 2 stories.
3.Sing a lullaby.
4.Say, "AJ, Mommy and Daddy love you.... I'm going to put you in your bed now. Sleep well. Have sweet dreams. We'll see you in the morning. Night Night."

Now that is one heckuva routine, right? I'm proud. Even though I've caved more often than I should, singing him to sleep instead of putting him down while he's still awake. But I BELIEVE in Crying It Out, and I wait for the day when he has learned, as all the theorizers and baby philosophers promised, how to soothe himself to sleep.

Except. That it hasn't happened yet. Or, at least I'm not sure if it has. Usually if I put him down awake, he pushes back up to his knees, mad that I'm leaving him. "Wha-- MOM! But we were having such a nice lullaby! Why would you leave NOW? WAAA." That goes on as I shoo the dog out of the room and close the door, and usually continues for about 2-5 minutes more. We listen intently on the monitor. All vocal noise ceases. He shuffles around -- I imagine him readjusting his teddy, Blankie, PJs, and the sheets, and flopping his head back and forth a few times just like his Mommy does -- and then, Wonderful Sleep.

So I ask you, dear smart people: Is he satisfactorily soothed? Or is he just giving up? I know of kids who go into their cribs quietly, lay themselves down, and tip-toe off to Dreamland. As if they're saying, "Wow, thanks, Mommy, I am pretty tired, and this bed feels so nice and cool and welcoming. Good night." That is what I would consider to be "self-soothed." Is what I'm getting a different version of that, or is my routine not working?

The thing is, bedtime works for us -- and when he stops crying, he's done. He sleeps -- well -- for 10 hours or more every night, and has, since about 6 months old. I guess I'm just curious.

I... have very little to share

I had weird dreams last night. Not bad dreams, just weird. I remember right before waking up, I was giving Hubby a $5 bill. Shortly after I did wake up, he asked me if I had any money. And I gave him TWO $5 bills. So the moral is, I need to start dreaming about winning the million-dollar lottery.

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AJ had one of his best nights ever. GOD BLESS DAYCARE for putting him down to nap in the LATE afternoon! When we pick him up and he hasn't napped since 12:30 (may I add: What the...? No afternoon nap? Are they crazy?), he is a Holy Terror. Won't sit still in his high chair at dinner, whines to be held for 3 hours straight, cries during his bath. Argh. But last night, he was the Picture of Adorable. He loved the spaghetti I gave him for dinner, as well as the strawberries for dessert. Mmmm. He had his dessert while we had our dinner, which was almost like the Family Dinner Gold Standard which I dream of one day attaining. (This goal also includes getting DH to TURN OFF G4TV and converse with us during the meal! Um, hello?! We're over here, honey.) He later played with his Daddy's shoes, much to the delight of his parents, who thought watching him drag them around by the laces was the Height of Entertainment. (Even better than G4.) His little head got very warm with all the high-energy playing he did before bed. And then, he fell asleep with nary a whimper. HOOray! A happy family evening, all hazy with the warm glow of our simple bliss... and I managed to kick out a complete, balanced meal, to boot. (Ooh, punny!)

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I luurrvh Comcast DVR. Or TiVo, whatever you want to call it. I love it because last night, Bravo decided to play the Blow Out Reunion show at ELEVEN P.M.! Why would they do this to me? Don't they know that I am worthless after 9:00? Especially after filling my tummy with angel-hair and meat sauce and garlic bread. Ooof. AS-LEEP. Eyes not opening. So anyway, no biggie, we "taped" it. Does anyone else say that? We can't stop ourselves, even though there is obviously no tape involved. Linguistic error. "DVR'd it" doesn't roll off the tongue, but we don't have TiVo, we have Comcast DVR. I'm guessing "TiVo'd" is slated to become the next "Xerox" or the next "Google." Proprietary Eponyms, they're called. I just learned that by googling.

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(Edited 9:29am) One other thing I have on my mind. I think it is time to cut AJ's darling baby hair. He's getting dangerously close to mullet-dom, rat-tail-hood, whatever you want to call it. :) His bangs -- well, one bang, really -- reach down to his nose and I'm contantly brushing it back. It's precious as ever and I can't bear the thought of turning him into A Big Boy with four or five little round-scissor-snips! But it must be done. The question -- do I do it myself, or take him to a professional?