The Care Package Dilemma(s)

Something I really want to do, regarding Alex's freshman year of college, has yet to happen: A Care Package Sent from Home. 

I've had it on my mind since before we left him in Athens on August 12. In fact, I had written a little To-Do Item, "Care Package," on the September 1 page of my planner, so I wouldn't forget. I wanted to give him a little time to miss me first, and then swoop into his shiny new post office box with a creatively and lovingly packed reminder of home.  

My Mom sent me a few care packages, particularly during my freshman year. I still have the little ceramic Halloween candle she tucked into the first package along with some candy corns and warm socks. My Mom was also the BEST letter-writer. When she wasn't sending packages, she was definitely sending long, newsy letters on cute, seasonally appropriate printer paper (remember that??), and I loved to receive them, and read them while walking back to my dorm, or on a bench on the quad with fall leaves underfoot (seems too perfect but it was truly a thing I did, and a memory I cherish).

I've also studied our friend Swistle's many wonderful posts about care packages. I started reading them well before I even had a kid in college, of course, and I want to be like Swistle! I did use her lists as a good supplement to UGA's "what to bring" dorm lists, and made sure Alex started out with some Easy Mac, vitamins, his favorite cookies (Chewy Chips Ahoy), band aids, hand warmers for when it gets cold, gift cards, granola bars, etc. 

But the universe has conspired against me, otherwise, and so far I have sent him Zero packages! Not even from Amazon! (And also not from the places that want you to subscribe to their "cards for college" service, and deliver pre-made care packages on the regular to your Darling Son or Darling Daughter. I have mixed feelings about these, but mostly don't believe in them... except when I start worrying that everyone is getting them once a month like clockwork while my kid isn't.) 

The obstacles have included:

• He came home after two weeks, again after five weeks, and a third time after 7 weeks. While I have loved getting to see him, it does sort-of preclude the SENDING of a little giftie.
• We went to see HIM! We enjoyed our first football game in Athens and that, too, negated the need to send him something. 
• Other people have beat me to it! His girlfriend's mom got a package to him last week, as did his Gammy! So now it's another "reset" - I feel like I need to wait to send him anything lest his room be covered up in candy and granola bars! And by the time he runs low on supplies it will be Thanksgiving! 

So I can't win. Have I handed him gift bags of stuff, when I've seen him? Yes, definitely, it being my only option. When we went to the football game, I put candy corn (he likes it), some other Halloween candy and do-dads (a dish to put the candy corn IN), some cough drops and Flonase, and I can't remember what else into a cute bag. When he has come home on a weekend, I've asked if he needs anything before my weekly grocery shopping, and sent him back with a box of Pop Tarts or a 6-pack of Coke. Last night, we saw him for a brief minute -- his marching band performed in Cobb County! -- and I gave him a DampRid refill for his dorm, a Sprite for the bus ride home, a couple of microwave noodle bowls, and a Ziploc of homemade cookies. That satisfied my itch somewhat. 

But I'm really sad that my vision of him being delightfully surprised by a box filled with clever treats hasn't happened yet. 

"Go Dawgs" and "Glory, Glory"

A work colleague of Shawn's gave us 3 tickets to this past weekend's UGA game. Tickets are expensive, I have learned, when a college team is highly ranked and reigning national champion. So getting the tickets for nothing was amazing and we're so grateful. 

We left our house at 6:15 am for the noon game on Saturday. Painful to get up that early, sure, but when we arrived at our parking deck at around 8:00 am, we were definitely NOT the only ones. People were setting up their tailgate tents and tables, I presume they were serving breakfast? Not super clear on that. Next time it might be fun to tailgate but we didn't even attempt it ourselves for our first go-round. The "Dawg Walk" was scheduled to begin at 9:45 anyway, so we were there in time to walk to the student center, get coffee, and then Alex met us and showed us where to stand. 

The band lines up on either side of a walkway and then the players' charter bus drives up, and out they walk, very nicely dressed (suits and ties, or suits and handsome turtlenecks), led by the cutie cheerleaders, of course, and the band plays and it's all very spirited and wonderful!

Then there's the game, itself, even more spectacular. The stadium is enormous, and it was FILLED with fans. It was a beautiful 80-degree day (although it felt much warmer than that in our no-shade seats and we did get sunburned!), with blue skies, lovely breezes every once in a while... and our team won. It was a great game, too -- not the blowout we'd expected, but fun to watch and a little nerve-wracking! There were fumbles and interceptions and highs and lows. 

The halftime show was pretty incredible, too. Band parents live for halftime. :)

Afterwards we made the obligatory trip to the campus bookstore, walked over to let Kate see her brother's dorm room (which hasn't changed at all since we moved him in, lol - we thought he might decorate a little, put up a photo or two on the walls, but no... at least it was clean), and took him to dinner at a nearby BBQ place. 

It was such a great day, a full-on Experience. Alex is happy, doing what he loves. We are newly-minted Dawgs fans for life, I guess, with the t-shirts and hats to prove it. 

And Sunday we were (at least I was) exhausted. 

Onward to this week: Kate's Fall Break. I'm working M, T, W and then she and I are taking a girls' trip to Charleston, SC. (What is with schools these days having SO many breaks?! When I was growing up, it was Spring Break, Christmas, and Summer, that was it. But our school district has THREE week-long breaks, one in September, one in February, and Spring Break in April. Plus a full week off for Thanksgiving. Shawn and I have historically NEVER had enough vacation time to take a trip for all three of those. Yet, some kids do. And our kids know about those trips because of stupid Social Media. It pisses me off, frankly.) I do have some banked vacation time now (Shawn doesn't, bummer), so I booked a hotel, bought us tickets to Sherry's theater -- finally! after 10 years! -- and I can't wait for that. I'm crossing my fingers for good weather so Kate can have at least a little bit of a beach day somehow. Other than that, I'm planning on brunch, some exploring in the most beautiful parts of downtown, maybe a pedicure if we can find a place, and just leisurely girl-time. We won't be there too long, but hopefully it will scratch Kate's itch to be somewhere else, and I know it will at least give her some pretty #vaca photos to post to Instagram and BeReal (eyeroll).

Until then, it's a regular week, but I've got fall vibes (it actually is cooler here): 

S - Chicken and white bean chili.

M - Pumpkin-alfredo ravioli, with salad

T - we'll probably get takeout

W - Foil pack Cajun chicken and vegetables, with cornbread

Happy Monday!

5 on a Friday

1. The back pain hasn't gotten any better. I've spent the last 2 days deep in the internet, looking up more possible causes and potential solutions. There are a lot of YouTube videos, I can tell you that. My low back aches, um, I would say pretty constantly. It's not sharp pain, it's just always there. I'm still determined to figure it out and self-treat it with the right stretches and care, but I'm not ruling out a visit to a chiropractor or physical therapist in the near future. My theory is that I've strained --over-flexed--  the muscles back there. I do stretch my back a LOT with rounded forward bends, child's pose, and cat/cows; maybe too much. Sitting is also considered flexion, and I have a desk job. It doesn't hurt down through my leg or in my hamstring so I don't think there's any nerve or disc involvement (from what I can read). So this week's remedy is that I'm trying to NOT bend forward, definitely not in the first couple of hours after waking up, and to do more -gentle- extension stretches (superman pose, cobra, etc.) I also bought some Aspercreme.

2. Alex is coming home for a quick visit today. We all have mixed feelings about that, including him -- isn't all the advice to "stick it out," even though it's hard at first? It's been 2 weeks. I haven't posted much about his high school girlfriend (perhaps nothing at all?), but this relates to her. She's attending Georgia State University in Atlanta and they're Trying To Make It Work long-distance. I should probably say no more, except that I will be glad to see him and give him a hug. And that plenty of people, Shawn included, went home frequently on weekends during their college years, and they turned out just fine. I wonder if he's bringing his laundry for me to do. ;)

3. Tonight is the high school Homecoming football game, and tomorrow is the dance! Unusually early. Kate is attending both, with her quickly-made group of girlfriends. I couldn't be happier for her to have found new friends so early on! We bought a dress -- two, actually, that were on sale for $39 each at Macy's -- and she is going to someone's house afterwards. Potential for Shawn and me to have TWO date nights in a row! Having teenagers is awesome. 

4. Jeans: What in the heck is the style this season for moms?? I know there are "mom-jeans" for teens, but I am not interested in that particular cut on my particular middle, thank you very much -- and I don't even know if actual moms are "allowed" to wear them? The only other trend I see is jeans that are very much ripped to pieces, and I'm not doing that either. I guess I don't NEED new jeans... I have a couple pairs I bought last year that are slightly boot-cut and fully intact... maybe it doesn't even matter. However I'm dressed, it's going to be "like a mom" and will be embarrassing. 

5. I can't find a bottled cold-brew coffee that's any good. Kate loves her iced coffee, and I think life would be so much simpler if I could just keep a bottle in the fridge for her, rather than making it hot (we use a Keurig) and then having to immediately cool it down, every day. But the bottled ones I've tried so far taste gross. Can anyone recommend one? 

6. Bonus! I've been reading another fun novel by Jojo Moyes: The Last Letter From Your Lover. It's set in London in the 1960s and starts with a car accident wherein a woman is injured and gets amnesia. Sounds hokey, but it's very well done, and then, surprise, Part 3 is set in present-day! I love this author, highly recommend the book and I haven't even finished it yet.

Hope you have a happy weekend! 

Dinners this week, now with less Alex

We survived move-in day. Actually it was very smooth and well-organized, there was not much acute stress involved! Just that low-level stress and dread when you're about to let your firstborn go off on his own. Ha. One tiny frustration when Alex first tried his room key and couldn't seem to get the door open -- it's a sticky, heavy door you have to shove -- and I thought, "Uh-oh, this is not a good way to start out!" But never fear, we/he figured it out. Some bullet-y notes:

• While waking up at 5am was not fun, the 8am move-in slot was a good call -- fewer people around, fresh volunteers ready to help, short lines, etc.
• It was GOOD that his roommate wasn't there yet, because we could get set up easily, using the 2nd bed area to toss empty boxes and stash things while we got situated.
• It was not so good that his roommate wasn't there yet, for loneliness/homesickness reasons after we parents left.
• On the other hand, maybe that was also good.
• Rolling bins! The school provided these deep, wide bins to take things up in the elevator. We got all of Alex's worldly possessions in one bin (plus a few things carried by hand) and made it in ONE trip! This was amazing. The dorm he's in is 9 stories; elevators are critical! Thankfully Alex is on the 3rd floor and right near a staircase if he's ever in a hurry. 
• We were grateful that a huge rain burst didn't start while we had an open cart outdoors -- it waited until we were done moving in, safely under a roof!
• Making a bunk bed is still a PITA! I remember from the one year I had one, ugh. This is why college kids never wash their sheets and I can't say I blame them.
• It's so much easier to have a BOY, particularly one who doesn't care too much about decor. We didn't even get him a futon, just a mini papasan chair. We saw a lot of dads carrying in lots of extra things, like bins and curtains and rugs and ottomans! We did our best to make Alex's tiny room livable, with a small rug, throw pillow, blanket and bookshelf, but... it still looks like a dorm. He has what he needs. (I do hope he'll hang some pictures on his walls but I left that to him -- it's his room, after all.) These moms who do a full-scale magazine spread for their kids are not letting the kid BE HIS OWN PERSON, in my opinion. Have you seen this crazy dorm-room Instagram account? We don't live in MS, but wow, that makes me want to throw things. People HIRE someone to do these. To decorate a DORM. Insanity.
• We took him to (a delicious) lunch, one last little trip to Target, and then we had to leave. It was as terrible as you would expect it to be, for me. I got so choked up. And could see the tears in his eyes, too. I remember that, being in his shoes. Wanting to be brave and excited, but feeling so nervous at the same time.
• Enough of that. I let the tears fall quite a bit in the car on the way home, but I know he's okay and I'm excited for him. Band camp started Saturday morning bright and early, roommate moved in Sunday and I was able to send a little bag with a couple more things I thought he needed. He's doing it! It's going to be great!

And he isn't coming home for dinner, sob... but that has meant: Seafood and creamy sauces! Alex is not a fan. So guess what? We can eat it as much as we want now, haha!

This week's menu: 

Saturday: Sushi rolls we made ourselves. Used both crab and (cooked) salmon, and they were delicious. 

Sunday: Skinny fettucine alfredo with shrimp, and Caesar salad.

Monday: (takeout)

Tuesday: Baked chicken with this creamy veg casserole (I know, I know, canned Cream of Mushroom is so gauche! But makes a yummy sauce, ya gotta admit)

Wednesday: (volleyball so it's Helpie Selfie)

Thursday: I planned homemade margherita pizza, but I couldn't find fresh basil at either store I went to! Will have to go again later this week (which I hate to do, but sometimes can't be helped).

Friday: is the first home high school football game, and I think we're going! 

Our May-to-August gauntlet of huge life-events has finally become a chapter, closed. I am so grateful for all of it, so glad we had those experiences. And so glad they are now in the rearview. Onward! Go Dawgs! ;) 

Hardest Part

My baby bird is almost ready to fly out of the nest. Of course, he is no baby; but you can't tell the mama bird that. I've been feeling The Sads for sure, mostly when I'm alone. It seems a little more pronounced this morning: only 2 days left, and it is grey and rainy-looking outside. 

There are a few great things about this time, to help me counterbalance myself. My mama friends and I are checking on each other frequently, which is so nice. We're all in this together. We're planning a brunch or wine night after everyone gets settled at their respective colleges; hopefully we'll boo-hoo a little, and then laugh a lot more. There's also this flood of memories: I've been trying really hard to put myself back in the shoes of the new college kid, and remember just how much FUN it was when I was a freshman who had just moved into her dorm. I think my freshman year was my very favorite year, out of four great years (I loved college so much). All shiny and new. Everyone else, too -- no one had an edge, we were all wide-eyed and knew nothing. Meeting people from Ohio, Minnesota, Baltimore, California, Philadelphia. Deciding which ones I wanted to be friends with. My freshman hallmates were sweet and we were pretty close at the beginning. I loved gathering up a group to go to dinner together, and letting our RA take us some of the places we needed to know about for the first time, like the nearby grocery store, or where to get the best frozen yogurt. I loved the newness of classes, and having them in interesting buildings, and walking across a grassy quad in between them. 

So: I'm trying to keep my focus there, instead of here at home, where his room is about to be empty and silent, and I won't need to buy apple juice as frequently because Kate doesn't really drink it. It's weird, those tiny things that will change. The hallway door to his bathroom can finally stay open, instead of how he keeps it closed and locked. His keys won't be hanging on the hook by the garage. There will be plenty of room on the living room couch since there will only be 3 of us.

I remind myself that he'll come back. On every form, his "Permanent Address" still says our house. And my coworker reminded me, 'If he's like most kids of this generation, he may come back after 4 years and live with you again," hahaha. And he may. We told him he's welcome to do that... while he figures out what to do next. 

There's also hope that the day of move-in will be stressful enough that I won't cry too much. This is what got me through his graduation ceremony without a single tear. The chaos of hauling boxes and bins to the third floor should make me too sweaty and tired to be sad, thank the good Lord. 

Anyway, we've arrived at the part of parenting that we never thought would get here this quickly. It is an unsurprising roller coaster of feelings and I'll be glad when the motion stops for a bit. I'll be glad when it's a Sunday night and we can have a somewhat regular FaceTime call with him, and hear about how much fun he's having.

These next two days, though: definitely the hardest part.

Things I'm Excited to Buy

First, though: Graduations!

Last Tuesday:

And last Thursday:

 

We did it! Both kids decorated with Honors, making us so very proud.
I also got Covid. I don't want to talk about it. 

-------------

I have some things on my summer wish list right now; want to talk about them? 

1. A new wall calendar! Our very last St. Joe's school calendar ends in June -- it has been a constant companion on our fridge these last 13 years (!), handy because it already had half of the important dates printed on it. I'm happy because 2022 calendars should be on sale, probably, and I can finally choose a pretty one. (The St. Joe's calendar, while handy, was not pretty in any way.) 

2. A beach-read paperback! I just started The Midnight Library on my Kindle, and I can tell I'm going to like it; however, I will probably finish it before our vacation at the end of this month, and besides, I am not a fan of bringing my Kindle Fire to the beach. Stupid glare. I could go back to using my original Kindle, I guess, with its paperwhite screen... maybe I will dig that thing out and try to charge it and see what happens. But still: A good paperback is the ticket. I have no idea what I want so I might allow myself a fun trip to Barnes & Noble to browse -- one of my very favorite things in the world is to browse a bookstore and leave with something new!

3. Feta cheese. This is silly and small, but I keep seeing "summer salad" recipes online that use orzo and feta (and veggies, of course). I bought the orzo this past weekend but I forgot the feta. The salads seem so delicious and refreshing (just please: no mint) and I need some new lunch inspiration. 

4. New athletic shoes. I've been wearing Asics Women's Gel Venture the last several years in a variety of colors, and I like them, but I'm also kinda ready for something new. I'm trying to be good about buying athletic shoes frequently, because that's one thing my doctor told me about both back pain and foot pain: Wear good shoes. Old-lady shoes. Supportive shoes. So, fine, I'm an old lady. At some event I was at recently, two women were talking about these Hoka One One (?) shoes that seem to be trending; I never know what's on-trend so I was glad for a little insight. I would rather not spend $150/pair, but sometimes it's worth it.

5. All the dorm things! Yesterday Alex secured a dorm room for himself and his roommate, and I've been reading the packing lists and looking at the pictures and trying to start thinking about buying all of that stuff. It's so hard! For one thing, you just don't know exactly what the kid will want, maybe not until they get there and start living there. I guess I should stop right there and just be okay with waiting -- there is such a thing as Amazon Prime, after all. If he gets there and decides he needs XYZ storage cabinet, we can order it and have it to him in 2 days. Also, it's hard having a boy who claims he doesn't really care about rugs or full-length mirrors or comforter designs, when I myself would like his room to end up looking like something the Property Brothers designed -- subtle, yet neat and sensical. Ha! I guess I will hope that he'll develop a Personal Style as he gets older, and until then, a bed with a pillow is truly all he needs (and all there's room for! it's like decorating a Tiny House)!

Mid-April Rundown: Some book recs, sunrise/sunset moments, etc.!

Here it is, mid-April, and I haven't posted anything at all. What will solve it better than bulleted updates? Nothing, I think.

• I haven't bought any dresses for me -- well, except one, the Bridesmaid/matron dress for Jilly's wedding in June. Kate and I are the attendants and we bought matching-color dresses in very different styles. I had a dream last night that I tried mine on and it fit perfectly in the waist/bodice, which I truly hope is what will happen. My fear is that I ordered one size too small and it will be too late to fix it. Panic panic panic. I'm working very hard to drink 75 ounces of water every day and am doing dreaded "core strengthening work" just to make double-sure I've done my best to fit into it. (I did measure myself before ordering but I don't trust those size charts.) ....Anyway, I still need something to wear to each kid's graduation. I might try to hit Kohl's this afternoon since the Easter dress racks should be on sale... 
• Kate is well-stocked with three dresses for the season (so far). She did have a hard day of trying on a lot of things and nothing really fitting right or available in her size. Don't you HATE shopping trips like that? I really felt bad for her; it's such a quick way to a bad mood. 
• I just finished a great book, The Burgess Boys, by Elizabeth Strout. I did love Olive Kitteridge, and even moreso, Olive, Again, and her writing style has endeared her to me, although I did NOT love Lucy Barton. Still, I highly recommend The BB. Before that, I read one called The Giver of Stars, by Jojo Moyes. Either I wasn't paying attention or she didn't link the name of the book to the story, but at any rate it was an enjoyable historical fiction about a small mining town in Kentucky during the WPA era, and the Packhorse Librarians who delivered books to the rural poor. Two thumbs up, would also recommend this one, if you think it's your thing. 
• Easter was a lovely day yesterday and I had the thought, what if it's our last Easter with Alex home? Maybe he won't want to come home for the weekend next year! Sob, sob.
• Which brings me to the official news: He has committed to UGA and we put down the big deposit! Go Dawgs! (Never thought I would be a UGA devotee! Have always been kind-of annoyed at the stupid spelling of "Dawgs" when the official mascot is, in fact, the Georgia Bulldogs. But here we are, and I'm actually really excited to wear a lot of red and black in the near future.) Now I have the next milestone tasks swirling around my head. I joined a FB Group for Parents of the Class of '26 and (it may have been a mistake, because) all the talk is about finding a roommate and how do we use this website or that, and "did your kid get this letter in his portal account?" and it's making me crazy. My feeling is the kids need to do this stuff their dang selves if they're about to go away to college! I'm hoping Alex will soon have time to start working on those things, and on his marching band audition video (he's already working on it -- due May 1). 
• No sooner did we finalize UGA than the University of North Florida sent their admittance letter and a $16,000 Presidential something-or-other scholarship. Which is lovely. Still wouldn't cover the cost of out-of-state tuition, and we're hoping for more from the state of GA. But it was somewhat confusing for him to get that letter; he said, "It just feels wrong to turn down that kind of money." And I agree! 
• I am WAY behind in my gardening! I know you're supposed to wait, anyway, until after Tax Day or Easter, and those just passed... but my backyard feels sad. No time to do it this weekend, either - we have a volleyball tournament. Tra-la! I guess it will get planted sometime....
• Kate's been really sad about leaving her school. She and her friends are listening to sad songs, crying together over old pictures (I assume) late into the night. This has happened twice now. It's alarming when we hear her just sobbing, but we asked her about it and were told to kindly leave her ALONE, she's just sad. I get it. I remember some similar crying in my own life, after 6th grade and after the particularly fun community theater shows ended. Endings in life are hard, aren't they? Especially when you're young. 

Keeping the diary updated, that's all I can muster! ;)