I Feel Meh. Mid.

I think I think too much. Typing it all up here doesn't call to me lately. I've been keeping ye olde gratitude journal and little bits on FB/Instagram, so not to worry, future me, and future descendants: there is indeed documentation of my thoughts. As long as I don't throw the book out. (I think I still have a box of every analog diary/journal I've ever filled. I am kinda itching to destroy it because: embarrassing.)

Anyway, what's up? 

-- I got an Insta ad the other day for one of those "funny t-shirts" companies. I scrolled through every style, cracking up, but am not really brave enough to buy them. But then I thought, "WHY am I not brave enough?" They're fun! I hardly ever see anyone I know when I go out -- and I rarely go out -- so what am I worried about? I declared to Shawn that I'm planning to have that be my "thing" as an old lady. I'll wear the t-shirts with puns and memes. It's going to be great. The grandkids will think I'm so quirky. 

-- We have some plans and projects taking shape. Nearing completion on the transformation of Kate's room from a 9/10 year-old girl's to a 16 year-old's. 2 more pieces of cheap furniture to buy, and several to donate/get rid of. And THEN we will start making half of our guest room into a sitting area/media room. Hopefully both of those things before the last kid leaves home, ha/sob. We got a nice tax refund this year, for the first time in forever, so that makes it easier to buy these few things. Maybe we can finish here soon and I can show you. 

-- Still in the thick of club volleyball season, although Kate driving herself to practices sure has lightened my load. (Come to think of it, though, I wonder if that is why I feel so adrift and untethered at the moment? Mommy is not needed (for this) anymore! Hmmm, hmmmm. Very interesting, doctor.) However, we have 5 tournaments left, and not much enthusiasm for those, either. I wish the coach could drum up some team spirit in the girls -- or my girl, specifically. Her heart just isn't quite in it with this team, so she's never excited to practice or compete, and that naturally trickles down to us spectators! (How much did we pay for the privilege, btw?!) 

-- Spring Break girls' trip was a success. We even had some laughter during the long road trip. My clothes were fine. No one is looking at the moms' clothes. ;) I really tried to rest my mind and my spirit that week. Was able to finish a good book: I Have Some Questions For You, by Rebecca Makkai. It's like a true crime podcast in novel form. 

-- Even while I'm trying to lean into my roles as wife/mom (and care less about my role as Marketing Comm. Specialist), my cooking skills seem to be disappearing. I've had a few total meal-fails in the past 2 weeks. One, because of brown rice. I can never get it tender enough. The other was just a dumb chicken/pasta pantry situation; I tried to "make up" a recipe and I guess I'm not cut out for that. So now I'm doubting myself, as well as being sick of all the usuals. This is a win only for Chick Fil A! 

I've been sitting here way too long. Probably should move my body and get some fresh air. 

Friday Procrastinating

Update: the Orlando trip went well! We made it, found our hotel, found the convention center, and all was fine. My organization skills weren't even necessary - is that the lesson?? 

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I went to a department store yesterday afternoon, because I needed a dress or outfit to attend a breast cancer-related gala this weekend, for work. Sadly, it's for work and there was only one ticket, so my plus-one isn't invited. Happily, though, I found something to wear. 

Being at that store, though, was so weird. Department stores have tried to evolve with the times, I guess, but haven't really succeeded. They're such a throwback to the '80s! And I don't know how they remain at all solvent, with alllll that inventory. I've learned in my job that product on the floor, or in the warehouse in our case, is like bags of money just sitting there, where a few dollars escape from the bag every day. I guess that's why many of them have NOT remained solvent. 

Pricing was hilarious. "Original prices" of $85 or $100 -- but the whole store was "up to 65% off!" I got a skirt for around $12.00. Do they make any money? (And then, my eco-consciousness kicks in, and what happens to the stuff they can't sell?)

I also noticed how I was drawn to so many styles that my younger self would have considered especially "old-lady!" Haha! The flowy organza shrug over a tank top. The sequin-accented collars and shoulders (what?!). The PANTS. I mean, yes, my calves still look pretty good as I near fifty, but I am actually considering wearing black pants to this gala -- I figure if I have pretty shoes, that cancels out the pants. LOL the justification. 

Also of note, I haven't bought much new for spring/summer, and I am, in fact, going somewhere for Spring Break, in just a few weeks. Kate and her friends convinced me and 2 other moms to chaperone a girls' beach trip to 30A. We may regret it. But until the regret, I'm trying to anticipate some enjoyment; hoping we moms get to sit on our beach chairs and read, and drink a little, without having to manage the "kids," who are admittedly old enough to care for themselves, if still a bit precarious with things like safety and decorum. We'll see. But I don't think I have the right things to wear! All my shorts are wrinkled from not being pulled out of drawers yet this year, and besides that, they're boring and several years old. I saw, last night, kelly green shorts and capris -- so spring! so bright! I saw some ruffled-sleeve tank tops that were so cute. One in stark white that I'm not brave enough to wear until I use some self-tanning lotion. But white seems so trendy. I saw a few cute pairs of sandals; my sandals are orthopedic, lol. They're blue, but I wouldn't call them cute. 

Maybe this shopping trip was what we'd call an exercise in humility. Made me want to buy a few more things, though. At least I have some swimsuits (bought last summer). 

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It is raining cats and dogs at the moment! Alex is driving home within the next few hours, for another weekend visit. Yay! but not yay, in the rain, you know? I'll never get over being nervous with a kid driving in bad weather.

Packaged Foods I Love

I started this post before Susan died in mid-November. So I'll post it now as a little buffer. We'll still be feeling the loss through the holidays, of course, and posting normal day-to-day stuff seems disrespectful, even though it's not. But I don't want to just write about something sad. Hard to handle. Anyway... 

That title seems so silly, but I was just eating a snack that I love, and I had something for lunch today that made me say, "That was SO good," to no one in particular (I was the only one here), so here we are.

Harvest Snaps by Calbee is the snack I just finished. Well, I wanted to finish it -- the entire bag -- but I restrained myself, if only so I'll have some left to eat tomorrow. I love their black bean crisps in the Sweet & Spicy Mango Chile Lime flavor. Is that a mouthful or what (lol, pun intended)! They're just so delicious, and they're the perfect amount of crisp, like a potato chip, without being greasy or making me think about my cholesterol. I'm not opposed to the Cracked Black Pepper Pea variety, either, although they seem to leave me with an unpleasant feel on the roof of my mouth, where the black bean doesn't. I wish they weren't quite as expensive as they are, in my grocery store at least. I haven't shopped around to find any bargains or discounts, but I should! I would be happy to get a box of these as a cheap, easy Christmas gift, even, lol. Is that weird? (Also, it is definitely time for Christmas gifts stress.)

StarKist Bold Tuna Creations in the Hot Buffalo flavor are another favorite. NEVER in a million years would I have thought I'd say that, but I do, and I did say, out loud, "That was SO good," after eating it today for my lunch. All protein (and salt), huge, bold flavor, I eat it straight out of the packet with a fork. No need to dress it up, although it's also good over a salad with Ranch or bleu cheese dressing. I'm sure it would make a good, if unconventional, tuna salad. The Spicy Thai Chili and Jalepeno are also yummy, and the Sweet and Spicy will work in a pinch, but Hot Buffalo remains my all-time fave.

I saw this graphic out in Internet-land, with the caption "You can only have two." 

Easy: Star Crunch and Nutty Buddy. I've loved Star Crunch since I first had them at my Aunt's house in 1986, and Nutty Buddy with their peanut buttery-ness are just The Best. My kids and husband would choose Oatmeal Creme Pies, but not me. And I definitely don't get the teens' love for Cosmic Brownies. 

Aldi Southern Pecan coffee is something new I've discovered in the last year or so. It's not overly flavorful, and yet there is something there I can't put my finger on, that makes it better than a "regular" cup of, say, Breakfast Blend. I am definitely becoming an Aldi fan, the more I shop there.

I have to get back to work. Today I'm doing not only my full-time job, but also helping Kate on two end-of-semester projects, while she has a "virtual day" because of the GA runoff election today. So it's crazy. Do you have any particular packaged-food faves? :)

Not Feeling Writer-y

I haven't felt at all like blogging yet, in October. Still don't. But I want to share, for my 2 and a half readers, that all is well! I just don't feel like there's much to say about it.

We seem to be in the rhythm of our schoolyear now, rolling along as normal. Fall Break got derailed by Hurricane Ian, so instead of our trip to Charleston, we went to Pensacola. Sorry, Sherry!! I'm still so sad about it. But of course we had a nice time with Mom and Dad. Spent a great day at the beach and another afternoon strolling and lunching downtown. (And taking one million photos of Kate in her cute outfit, because that is what 14-year-old girls want to do. I tried not to mind too much, but I'm not sure I was successful; I'm not the best photographer, I was told.) 

Fall has been beautiful here. More sunny, crisp days, please! Yesterday we had cloudy and rainy, which I like, but I think I prefer sunny. 

My few little Halloween decorations are up, and I bought the mission-critical Reese's pumpkins and seasonal Hershey's Kisses. 

I've been going to the office twice a week, and trying to put on makeup and make an effort even if I'm working at home. Ha. 

Lined up for the next month: An appointment with a new podiatrist, then a mammogram, then a colonoscopy. Big fun!

Today I'm making Loaded Potato Soup in the crock pot, and working on a big, mindless photo-sizing project, so that means I'll be able to listen to podcasts while I work. I've been doing a lot of that lately, too. Oh! and watching Abbott Elementary and Derry Girls. I love them both so much! 

Hope you're well!

5 on a Friday

1. The back pain hasn't gotten any better. I've spent the last 2 days deep in the internet, looking up more possible causes and potential solutions. There are a lot of YouTube videos, I can tell you that. My low back aches, um, I would say pretty constantly. It's not sharp pain, it's just always there. I'm still determined to figure it out and self-treat it with the right stretches and care, but I'm not ruling out a visit to a chiropractor or physical therapist in the near future. My theory is that I've strained --over-flexed--  the muscles back there. I do stretch my back a LOT with rounded forward bends, child's pose, and cat/cows; maybe too much. Sitting is also considered flexion, and I have a desk job. It doesn't hurt down through my leg or in my hamstring so I don't think there's any nerve or disc involvement (from what I can read). So this week's remedy is that I'm trying to NOT bend forward, definitely not in the first couple of hours after waking up, and to do more -gentle- extension stretches (superman pose, cobra, etc.) I also bought some Aspercreme.

2. Alex is coming home for a quick visit today. We all have mixed feelings about that, including him -- isn't all the advice to "stick it out," even though it's hard at first? It's been 2 weeks. I haven't posted much about his high school girlfriend (perhaps nothing at all?), but this relates to her. She's attending Georgia State University in Atlanta and they're Trying To Make It Work long-distance. I should probably say no more, except that I will be glad to see him and give him a hug. And that plenty of people, Shawn included, went home frequently on weekends during their college years, and they turned out just fine. I wonder if he's bringing his laundry for me to do. ;)

3. Tonight is the high school Homecoming football game, and tomorrow is the dance! Unusually early. Kate is attending both, with her quickly-made group of girlfriends. I couldn't be happier for her to have found new friends so early on! We bought a dress -- two, actually, that were on sale for $39 each at Macy's -- and she is going to someone's house afterwards. Potential for Shawn and me to have TWO date nights in a row! Having teenagers is awesome. 

4. Jeans: What in the heck is the style this season for moms?? I know there are "mom-jeans" for teens, but I am not interested in that particular cut on my particular middle, thank you very much -- and I don't even know if actual moms are "allowed" to wear them? The only other trend I see is jeans that are very much ripped to pieces, and I'm not doing that either. I guess I don't NEED new jeans... I have a couple pairs I bought last year that are slightly boot-cut and fully intact... maybe it doesn't even matter. However I'm dressed, it's going to be "like a mom" and will be embarrassing. 

5. I can't find a bottled cold-brew coffee that's any good. Kate loves her iced coffee, and I think life would be so much simpler if I could just keep a bottle in the fridge for her, rather than making it hot (we use a Keurig) and then having to immediately cool it down, every day. But the bottled ones I've tried so far taste gross. Can anyone recommend one? 

6. Bonus! I've been reading another fun novel by Jojo Moyes: The Last Letter From Your Lover. It's set in London in the 1960s and starts with a car accident wherein a woman is injured and gets amnesia. Sounds hokey, but it's very well done, and then, surprise, Part 3 is set in present-day! I love this author, highly recommend the book and I haven't even finished it yet.

Hope you have a happy weekend! 

Podcasts I Love

It took me a long time to get interested in podcasts. And I still only listen to them sporadically -- usually in the car. Sometimes on a walk. I don't like to "subscribe" to them, really, because then I'll feel like I'm "behind" if I don't listen on the day an episode drops. But when I'm in the right mood, there are a few that I really enjoy. I've found, lately, that listening to a podcast keeps me more calm than listening to SiriusXM radio, because the radio plays all the same songs and therefore, my mind wanders. Or, more accurately, frets. With a podcast, I can just fully immerse in whatever topic is being discussed, and the faucet of frets gets shut off. So, here are a few of my favorites right now, and what I like about them:

Terrible, Thanks for Asking - One of my first favorites. I haven't listened to it in a while, actually, but there have been some amazing episodes. They're generally about people's sad or difficult stories, which you think would be depressing. But it's not -- it's more like, "we're all in this together, and sometimes it sucks." I am a big admirer of the host, Nora McInerny. 

A Little Bit Culty, with Sarah Edmonson and Nippy Ames. These two have quite a story, as documented in HBO's The Vow, which we watched a year or two ago and LOVED. They were in a cult, but then they woke up, as they say. In fact, they were some of the whistleblowers who brought the cult down. And I'm so happy for them that they did. Their guests talk about things and groups that are either a little bit culty or a VERY LOT culty (they've had Mike Rinder, ex-Scientology guy, and Stephen Hassan, ex-Moonie). For this podcast, I really DO wait with bated breath for the next episode to drop.

The Dream - I'm not sure if I heard about this one from the previous one, but possibly. It's produced by a journalist -- one of my requirements for podcasts is that they're well-produced, not just some dude in his basement recording himself -- and season one was in the same vein as Culty: it was all about "The American Dream" as it relates to Multi Level Marketing/MLMs (culty!!). Super eye-opening. Lots of history about how MLMs came into being and how far they are embedded into the American culture and politics (it's pretty bad, y'all). Season 2 was about the Wellness industry -- potions and "treatments" and even multi-vitamins -- and equally eyebrow-raising. I hope there will be a Season 3.

Office Ladies - On a lighter note! Who doesn't adore Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey? When Kate started us watching (re-watching) The Office last summer, this was a fun one to start listening to. It's interesting to learn how TV shows are written, and sometimes they have guests who were in the show, which is fun.

Smartless - Big thanks to my sister for suggesting this one! It is, as she said, "complete brain candy," but still: who doesn't love Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, and Will Arnett?! No one, that's who. Each of them has a voice I could listen to all day, and they surprise each other with other big-name actor or musician guests, and they're just FUNNY. I mean, I think all of them consider themselves comedians, so that's bound to be good. 

Sharon Says So - Sharon used to be a high school government teacher, and a good one if her pod and Instagram account are any indication. I actually prefer her Insta to the podcast, but once in a while I like to tune in and hear what she has to say on a topic -- which include a lot of history, and random history, at that. Example: She did an episode about Jean Lafitte and the battle of New Orleans. She stays very non-partisan, but talks about current issues: I definitely appreciate that. And her episodes are usually short, which is good when I have a half-hour commute. ;) 

Unorthodox - Ohhh, these are my Jewish friends. I haven't listened to it in quite a while, but I do love it. I don't have any claim whatsoever to Judaism, except that my ancestry.com DNA test showed I have 3% Jewish DNA (!) and I had lots of Jewish friends in college and was always interested in reading about their faith tradition in books like (well, honestly, Are You There, God, It's Me, Margaret was the very first) The Chosen when I was in school, and Bee Season in adulthood (both SO GOOD). The three delightful hosts comment on current events from a Jewish perspective, which I think is so nice as it very much widens my own. And bonus, they're very funny.

Jesuitical - After I started loving Unorthodox so much, I felt a little guilty for not exploring my own faith tradition in a similar way, ha! (Guilt = appropriate for Jewish AND Catholic sensibilities!) This is another one I haven't clicked in some time. But my favorite part is when they do "Desolations and Consolations" -- each host talks about something that either bummed them out (Desolation) or made them aware that God is good (Consolation) at the end. Such excellent Catholic words. 

I've listened to other podcasts, as well. I suggested Harry Potter and the Sacred Text to my mom, and she liked it more than I did (I only listened to 2 episodes, I think). Also Leah Remini's Scientology: Fair Game, Mike Rowe's The Way I Heard It, NPR's Hidden Brain, Serial, when it was popular, and of course This American Life -- but they don't all compel me like the ones above. 

What about you? Got any great pods to suggest? 

Hello, March

Can't quite believe it's March already. I'm gearing up to be negatively affected by memory on March 13. I can't believe it's been a year. I just mean, I think I'm going to be sad about it. Alex wondered this morning if, in the future, there will be some kind of national holiday. Day of Remembrance or something. :(  Sad.

It's a Monday, and the first day of the month. That seems clean and tidy. Last night after dinner, the dishwasher was full, and I said, "I like when the dishwasher needs to be run on a Sunday night. It feels neat and tidy." Definitive, anyway, to wake up Monday morning with clean dishes; it's a new start. 

I have nothing particular to share today. We had a good weekend with nothing much on the calendar (as usual). I got my hair done Saturday morning. It took forever. I hate this about my stylist (or maybe it's my hair), but what can you do? When you've been going to someone this long, you can't just leave her and try someone else. You're friends now, you're Stuck. So, the couple of times a year that I get highlights, along with my regular color and haircut, I get to sit in the salon for nearly 3 hours. And she's nice enough -- she's chatty without talking my ear off the entire time -- but it really does feel like a waste of a day.  Later, Kate and I ran around town doing a few errands, but mostly looking for some stuffed animals she's currently obsessing about. She's 13, but I guess I'm willing to let her obsess about stuffed animals -- let her stay little, just a bit longer. ;) 

I also did the grocery shopping. This week, I went in person. It was nice for a change; I've been doing online groceries for a few weeks and I miss the fun of seeing something new, or on sale, and grabbing it. I've not been doing the "grocery store reports" that others are doing, but I enjoy reading them. Our store had breakfast Hot Pockets this week (good! I bought a large box) but no Sausage & Pancake on a Stick (Jimmy Dean). 

Here's a fun development: Shawn's drinking coffee now. When we met, he'd recently been diagnosed with Crohn's, and coffee did not agree with him at all. But he's had some liver issues lately (probably caused by one of his Crohn's medications, ironically), and he read that coffee can be good for liver health. And the coffee does not make his stomach hurt. So that's fun. He's trying all the flavors and now I have to share my Keruig and my half and half! lol I'm just kidding, I'm happy to share. I can't wait for a coffee-house date. 

Last week I had to go to my office THREE TIMES. That is three times too many! There was an issue with my laptop, and I needed to send out a package. But there is some official news: we are moving our office later this year! This is overdue -- the space we're in does not fit our needs anymore, and it's beaten up and pretty cruddy looking. Not that we're hosting clients or trainings or anything lately, but still. I'm a little worried I will lose the privilege of having an office -- I bet I'll go back to a cube or, at best, will share an office with someone else. But, if I'm working from home more, that's less of a problem. I do hope we get new furniture as well. Just a full refresh would be really nice. The only downside of moving the office is... moving the office. I'm sure there are some days of cleaning out and organizing and packing boxes ahead of me, and no one likes any of those things! Budgets are slashed so I bet we'll have to do lots of the work ourselves. I'll have to use the "what can we look forward to?" technique to get through that process. 

On the home front, here's what we're eating this week: 

Sunday - Turkey breast, stuffing, wild rice and green beans (and cranberry sauce). Why not?! It was delicious.

Monday - Hot dogs and chili, and fries and veggies/dip.

Tuesday - Pork Chops. Not sure yet how I'll cook them. I'm thinking about a Balsamic marinade. Also not sure what to serve them with. The item I wanted (Stouffer's Harvest Apples) was sold out at the store. 

Wednesday - Baking Sheet Nachos. I can't wait for this one. Kate claims she's never had nachos, and I intend to remedy that!

Thursday - Pasta with chicken and broccoli. Some kind of garlic/parmesan thing I will probably look up on the fly. 

Friday - Shrimp Etouffee (and fish sticks, for those who don't like shrimp). I will just need to pick up a loaf of French bread on Friday afternoon. OR maybe I'll get brave and try to make this miracle no-knead bread I keep reading about. ;) 

Pensacola

My head and heart have been in Pensacola the last couple of days, for obvious reasons. (Hi, Mom.) My parents are fine, safe and sound, and they have a small generator with which to keep their fridge running, and a lamp at night, for now. They've been out twice looking for ethanol-free gas to power it, and haven't had success finding that. But I think we're all hopeful the power will be restored sooner than they need to fill the gas tank. They went to Publix today (the day after) and were able to get some supplies.

Hurricanes are a part of life on the coast, of course, but they so frequently go just west, that Pensacolians are fairly complacent about them, I think it's safe to say. This one was forecast to go west up until the very day it didn't, I think -- if not all the way west to Louisiana (god love 'em), then at least Mississippi. And not that we wish any ill on other states/people, but we figured we'd be okay... I mean, they, they in Pensacola figured it would be a lot of rain and wind, but not the major flooding and destruction that they eventually got. My "we" is for my people!  

Ugh. It's tiring to think of how long it will take to clean it all up. We (Georgians) offered to go down and help - I say, to ease my own conscience here for when future-me reads this. Mom said it wasn't necessary, and we agreed that with their limited resources we'd likely be more of a drain than a help. But thank goodness for good neighbors and family members, taking care of each other. I really wish I could do more.

Anyway, our lives continue on normally (haha, well, Covid-normal) while they have to deal with aftermath, and that makes me feel weird, too. We (the kids and I) watched Survivor this evening while Shawn went out to play cornhole. [This is something he's just started, have I mentioned it? A coworker invited him - it's a whole Atlanta league and everything. It's good for him, I'm 100% behind it! One night a week.] 

One of the things we've become good at during the pandemic is ordering on apps. That sounds silly to say, but Before, I rarely used an app to order food. I was still calling up the Papa Johns on my HOME PHONE! (I have the number memorized, a fact of which I am proud.) Now I have several restaurant apps on my phone; enough that I can compare the features. The ChickFilA One app, I think, is the gold standard. It's amazing. I love how it knows when I've arrived, and how it tells me "a team member is on the way out to your car." The Moe's app is also fairly easy to use, and comes with the typical snark of the Moe's menu and brand-image. Then there's the Subway app, for which I have several saved Favorites, and used just tonight. The way theirs lets you customize your sandwich is fun -- it shows the sandwich all spread out, and you can just delete the brown mustard if you don't like it (and I don't)!

My paragraph transitions are like my entire brain right now. We just go hopping from one thing to another in zig-zag with no rhyme or reason, and so here is the next topic: Work is fine. Busy. Today I finished a project wherein I had to do some screen recordings (and record my Voice as well, talking, UGH). It took forever, but MAN, does it feel good to have it done (for now; Draft 1 is always just that, a draft). There are still many millions more projects that get assigned but not really followed up on, which makes me feel adrift and behind All The Time. But I just plug away, doing the best that I can, trying to accomplish Something every day. I try not to count the minutes/hours I've worked, and just DO my life. Do my work... but take a walk when I want to/need to. (I mean, I don't do as much cleaning or laundry as I would want to have accomplished, but that's what weekends are for!) 

I'm also trying to use the Calm app that I pay for year after year, and actually sit down with a 10-minute meditation every day. I am aiming to improve both my short-term memory, which is terrible, and my general focus. 

We ate well this week: 

- Bulgogi Pork Tenderloin, Jasmine Rice, Broccoli

- Chicken enchiladas (and as a family we agreed we need to back off a little on the Tex-Mex theme, lol)

- Meatloaf (leftover/frozen from several weeks ago), made new with homefried potatoes and a shredded cabbage/lettuce salad

- Penne pasta w/chicken and pantry parmesan cream sauce (by that I mean, cream of mushroom & chicken soup, a little milk, and grated parm)

- Subway 

That's what's up, at this moment. I have some other stories I could tell you, but another time. They include the words liver cysts, football game, as well as detention. !! Several different stories. :) 

Musicals! Revisiting the me of my teens

I finally listened to "Hamilton" about a month ago. I'm about 4 years late, I realize. It is so good. I want to hear every. single. word. when I have it on. It has made me want to revisit all the musicals I used to love, so today I pulled out my London cast recording of CATS. Ha!! An oldie but a goodie. I had forgotten about the Jellicle Cats and Jennyanydots and Bustopher Jones. My other favorite soundtracks, from back in the day, included:

• The Phantom of the Opera (which I had on cassette)
• A Chorus Line (ditto, a recorded copy)
• Les Miserables, of course - any theater kid must
• Guys and Dolls (THE BEST musical of all time, imho)
• Little Shop of Horrors - dream role, Audrey
• Godspell - when I'm feeling spiritually moved
• Into the Woods - dream role, Cinderella, the end makes me cry 
• Sunday in the Park with George - also makes me cry

Maybe I'll listen to a few of those this week, too. The "well-being" challenge this week on the WLC is to listen to music, 1 song a day at least, that "moves you." Pretty fun.

Day to day I typically just listen to Sirius radio in my car, and a lot of times I prefer either the Symphony channel or Spa. Calming. No lyrics to get in the way of thinking. Sometimes I put it on the Broadway channel but I don't know a lot of the more recent stuff that they play. Then, once the kids are in the car, they flip between Hits 1, The Message, and Disney (Kate) or Alt-Nation (Alex). So having music on that's completely my own, my favorites, is somewhat unusual. I haven't really used my iPhone for music, ever. Had ripped all my CDs to iTunes once, 3 computers and an iPod Nano ago. I guess it's mostly lost to that tiny hard drive now; I've thought I should try to charge up the Nano and see what's still there.

Shawn loves to buy music, and still does, although he got us a family subscription to Apple Music last year, and I like it. I just stream whatever I want to hear (like Hamilton), and don't pay anything extra for it. I can't really understand how to "do" music anymore. I know I don't own the things I stream, and I guess I'm okay with that. Shawn also got a record player this year and is getting back into vinyl, which is fun and funny.

What do you listen to?

Edit: I popped back in to say that when it wasn't musicals, what I mostly listened to in my youth (heh) was light alternative (not the real hard grungy stuff, but REM, U2, etc.), acoustic-guitar singer-songwriter types and mainstream pop, and in the '90s I listened to a lot of country. ;) Once I got married I sort-of defaulted to whatever he listened to, because he has good taste in music. Sometimes I do miss my own music, but apparently not enough to do anything about it.

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We have a weird work week with some extra extra curriculars Monday/Tuesday, plus Valentine's Day, and then Kate's birthday on Friday, but here are 2 meals I have planned anyway.

Ranch Chicken Thighs with Rice - But I'm wanting to bake this instead of cooking it entirely in a skillet.

UPDATE: Verdict on this? A good, if a little bland, weeknight meal. I don't think there was a point in marinating the chicken in Ranch dressing; we couldn't taste it at all. Would use Ranch seasoning instead next time, or add garlic and onion powder.

Spaghetti and spaghetti squash with meat sauce - I have decided I'm not a fan of zucchini noodles, but spaghetti squash works. It feels more substantial to me under sauce. With a Caesar salad and garlic toast for the bread-eaters, lucky ducks.

...and here are some recipes I've pinned lately, that I want to try. Maybe you will, too:

This marinade, I did try already, and the fam concluded it was the best pork tenderloin ever. And even though I normally don't love pork tenderloin, I enjoyed it too.

This Pollo in Potacchio is SO not me! Chicken and tomatoes just don't go together, in my mind. But I'm curious about it, and it's compliant. So it's a maybe.

I used to watch Sara Moulton ALL the time when I was a new bride, newly cooking every night. :) Happy memories. This looks pretty yummy, once I'm eating flour again: Salmon Cakes w/Corn.

Taking My Medicine

I was taking my 10-minute work-day walk just now -- gotta do it even if I'm not wearing running shoes -- and trying to encourage myself to take it every day, like medicine. What will we call it?

• malaise medicine, where malaise is just like 'asthma' so the meds are indeed necessary
• brain medicine, because a daily dose really does keep my brain from getting too squirrelly, if I'm consistent
• smile medicine, because it makes it easier to do so
• joy medicine, because I'm on a quest for joy

I suppose any of those will work. :) I forget to take it all the time, though. 

I'm feeling good today. I have a new sweater, because this past weekend, Saturday night in fact, I had uninterrupted shopping time all by myself at a department store. !!! And it was really quiet in there  because it was a Saturday night. I tried on things and bought two tops, two pairs of jeans, and a new purse I'm in love with. New purses are THE BEST. My only complaint about the trip was that I saw a mother-daughter duo in there together, showing each other cute things, and I wished my mom and I could shop together regularly. Darn me for moving to Georgia all those years ago.

Speaking of mother-daughter, shopping Not-with-Kate is also THE BEST. God bless her. I'd like to suspend shopping with her until she is a working adult and can afford her own stuff. Then, Shopping Dates, sure. Yesterday, on an errands-run to Target, she got a kick out of pushing my buttons just because. She knows I get frustrated when she stops at EVERY display and says, "Ooh, look, Mom, we NEED one of these (random useless things we do not need)!" She did it once or twice for real (she needs a new watch! (ok, fine.) She needs a new pencil case! (no she does not)) and then once or twice as a joke. Finally, I caught on. She told me later it's fun to mess with me. GIRL.  !!!

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We're on Pain Watch 2018. Carpal tunnel, I believe, so it's Tingly Wrists but also Left Elbow this time. I can't turn my palms up with a straight arm, without pain. I've been on regular ibuprofin since last Thursday, and it's not helping much. Tonight begins a wrist-brace regimen while I sleep. (Remember when? Check out that baby belly and that old-school camera!) And no downward dogs. Sob! It is hard to do yoga without using your wrists/hands. Argh. Getting Old Sucks. 

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Work has been better, I think. A big project -- our yearly magazine -- is going quite well; somehow the words have come just when I needed them to. In one instance, the article I couldn't feel inspired to write was miraculously replaced with a different article I wasn't aware was coming. Serendipity. There has been plenty of work to fill my days, so they seem to go by faster. We're not having High Drama, although that's always a possibility. And today I was informed I got a 2% raise and a year-end bonus (tiny, but still). 

All in all, a pretty good start to Halloween week. A neighborhood party to look forward to... I'm making hot-dogs in mummy-wraps (crescent dough) and I have a new witch hat to wear. I also bought the good candy (Reese's, Skittles, Airheads, Smarties, M&Ms)... You?

Silent Inbox, Kindle reading and Bottles of Wine (well, one bottle)

Spent the first hour of my workday wondering why I had so few emails, and no one was checking in on Skype to say hello, and where were all my assignments... and then I realized it's a holiday in Germany and my other counterpart from the UK is traveling today. Yay! Not going to even pretend to complain -- just going to come here and take a little time for myself.

Not sure I reported this here, but I finished the 30-day yoga challenge (yay!! hooray! go me!), then took a week off from waking up at 5:00 a.m. for it. It was a nice week off -- a few of those days, I woke up at 5:30 instead, to do a quick 10-minute stretch, as required by the WLC. Today I backed the alarm up a little more, and did 20 minutes. It's a nice way to start a day and I've gotten used to it. The cats always come with me. Sometimes they scratch up my mat, naughty kitties, but usually we all just purr together in the lamp light, hee-hee, and stretch and be still. 

I needed that stillness today, with the first of two super-busy weeks ahead. The month of May is always super-busy, of course, but this one even more so with Alex graduating. I'm practicing "one thing at a time," though, hoping it will help me not panic. "This moment is perfect, just as it is meant to be..." on repeat. Today is Kate's Battle of the Books at 1:00 p.m. -- she finished her last book yesterday (!!!) at around 3. HA! Talk about procrastinating. She also forgot said book at her friend's house, when she spent the night out Friday. That created a storm of emotion on Saturday late afternoon, when she desperately wanted to read/finish it but I refused to go to B&N and buy her another copy. Instead, I downloaded it from the e-library on my Kindle. Mom Saves The Day! Superhero pose! Cost us nothing! Except... and here is one of those things I shouldn't even record, because it doesn't paint Kate in the best light, but... I'm going to anyway. An e-book was NOT what she wanted. Oh, she spent 20 minutes sobbing and telling me she DIDN'T LIKE books on the Kindle! And she couldn't POSSIBLY read it because it wasn't a book with PAGES and etc. etc. (Overtired from her sleepover, to be sure.) I managed to calm her -- told her that while Daddy and I were out on our anniversary date, we would go look for the book at B&N. And after her tears dried, she did read on the Kindle until we finally got her own book back (well, the school library's copy) from her friend on Sunday morning. And no, we did NOT look for the book for her at B&N -- I told her they didn't have it. (...I think I won this one and I feel pretty good about it.)

What fun, right?! 

Bless her heart. (really. not the Southern meaning.)

One night she and I were talking about emotions, mostly related to a friend of hers who's been extreme-hot or extreme-cold lately, and I told her this may be the beginnings of puberty for her and her friends, with emotions being taken over by biology. She completely took the opportunity to ask, "Well, what HAPPENS during puberty, anyway?" Little extrovert, never too shy for anything. Ha. So I told her the whole thing. Yep, all of it. (Well, we'll still have a little more to discuss about the finer details, pads vs. tampons etc., but there's time.) I am so relieved to have it over with. ;) And next up, this summer, I'm going to give her a copy of Are You There, God, It's Me, Margaret -- maybe on my KINDLE. 

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We had a fantastic anniversary dinner on Saturday night. Treated ourselves to the expensive stuff, at Aspens steak house. Filet mignon for everyone! We also finished a bottle of wine. Been a LONG time since we did that! Reminiscent of our very first date, actually. It was funny, not being able to walk straight when we left the restaurant. ;) And we SO needed to get out and laugh like that. The day to day stuff, 17 years in, sometimes doesn't leave room for enough (wine and) laughter. It's all good stuff, of course, it's a well-oiled machine, but wow, leaving the kids at home and going out is AWESOME. No babysitter, even. We decided 13 and 10 is plenty old enough to manage for 3 hours, with a pizza. And they were totally fine. I see more bottles of wine in Shawn's and my future (at least I hope so). Year 18 is looking pretty good already. 

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I also want to record the nice weather we finally had this weekend, and the good day we had Saturday. Actually, it started with a shopping trip for Alex and me, to bulk up his summer wardrobe a little. We spent exactly one hour inside Belk, which is as long as I predicted he'd be able to stand shopping. Got several polos, though, some dress pants, and nicer shorts he can wear to church when the weather warms up. I have to continue adding for him, so he'll have enough clothes to wear in high school next fall, with no uniform! Eek! 

Afterwards, and after lunch, I planted my annuals. Petunias and marigolds this year, fingers crossed they'll live. It's an act of hope, particularly when I'm involved, to plant. It was a beautiful day; even helped Shawn pick up detritus later as he trimmed trees. Now if we could just get the kids to commit to helping, too, we'd be golden. #Goals.

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This is so long! But Shan is still not here yet and I've received one assignment so far since starting this post, which will take me about 5 minutes and isn't due until Wednesday. Menus! It's been an OK season of the WLC so far. I'm trying my best not to repeat too many meals so the family won't resent me being on the challenge. This week, I'm planning:

Brinner. (last night). I made Pillsbury biscuits for them, with scrambled eggs and turkey sausage and Harvest Apples. In my scrambled eggs, I added stewed tomatoes and onions. The Best way to eat eggs.

M - Tacos. Ground beef, mine in corn tortillas and theirs in (luckies) Doritos taco shells,with black beans as a side dish. I have guac and good salsa and iceberg lettuce, and it will be delicioso, as Dora used to say. 

T - Chicken/Green Beans/Potatoes in a casserole dish with butter and Italian dressing mix. Easy-peasy! 

W - Scheduled leftovers or You're On Your Own (Yoyo). I always have Hot Pockets in the freezer and egg noodles in the pantry, so everyone can find something.

Th - Annual Art Show and then Laredo's for dinner! (Or somewhere else, but I'm not cookin'.) :)

Fr - Burgers, I hope, cooked on the grill and eaten outside on the back porch. If the weather cooperates. 

Boss is here! Better go! "This moment is perfect, just as it is meant to be." 

Office update, happy Friday, weekend plans

Today my partner in crime (Shan) is away from the office and I admit I feel a leeeetle isolated. My new office is at the end of a back hallway. Luckily, it has a huge window so I don't feel claustrophobic, just "apart" from whatever's happening over there where everyone else sits. I'm not complaining -- you know I appreciate my moments of solitude. I'll just have to make an effort to get up and go visit people. (And I already have once this morning.)

I do love my new space. Yesterday I rearranged a little, and hung up some stuff. I still want to remove the leftover boxes and extra products that the previous three occupants left in here. There's a ton of it. But I've got my kids' school photos, my Kleenex and hand sanitizer, my little desk fan, and my favorite books from my work collection, so I feel "planted." I would say that I'm working better in the office than in the cube, being more productive than I was before (I have been, I think), but... well, I'm here on Blogger, so I'm not sure how truthful it will sound. ;) 

Anyway, it's Friday and I'm feeling happy. My projects, for the most part, are all waiting for someone else to do their part so I can afford a little personal computing. I'm reading a really interesting book, The Mapmaker's Daughter, set in Spain in the 1400s, and told from the POV of a Jewish woman. I LOVE reading about Judaism. One of my very favorite books was Bee Season, by Myla Goldberg, which went deep into Jewish philosophy and mysticism and was fas.cin.a.ting. This one has also hooked me; even made me look up a map of 15th century Spain this morning -- a country I have never once been interested in learning about. Yay, books! This morning I've also spent more than my fair share of time making a list of things to read next!

We had a "normal" week, with nothing extra. So nice! The kids even had three days in a row of Fun Food, so no lunchboxes to pack. This weekend I/we plan to: 

• Gather up and tag our too-small uniforms, to be sold next week at the Spring Used Uniform Sale. I have SO many. Alex is alllllmost grown out of his pants and I hate to buy him any new ones for $40 apiece. I really hope I can find a few pairs to get him through to the end of his uniformed school days in May! Meanwhile, Kate is growing too, having to buy size 12 shirts in order that they hang nicely over her leggings.
• Windex my bathroom mirror. HOW, I ask you, how does it always get so dirty? I do not spit on it or do chemical experiments in there, I promise. But you would think that I do. Ugh. 
• Hand wash some sweaters of Kate's that have now been sitting in the laundry room for 3 (4?) weeks. Now that it's 80 degrees of course. Ha. Maybe it will stay warm and they will stay clean until next winter. (I'm not going to detail for you every chore I plan to do this weekend, but this one MUST GET DONE and if I write it down maybe it will.) 
• Have at least one long workout or walk. That was my personal goal for the Whole Life Challenge, that I would do more than the required 10 minutes/day, at least once on the weekends. Pretty sure I've accomplished it. I'm so anxious for the Challenge to be over. It's seemed especially hard this last couple of weeks, for some reason. My office is starting a "Biggest Loser" competition on March 1 and I'm really torn about whether or not I want to do it. I do, but I don't. They're going to be doing workouts together 4 days a week, including Zumba, which I've never tried! So that's certainly appealing. But I will have just finished this! Not sure what to do.
• Going to see Black Panther! Don't want to miss out on important pop culture! If it's got Marvel's name on it, we're there. :) 
• Hopefully doing some cooking and baking. Might need to visit Whole Foods at my lunch break to pick up some coconut flour and almond flour, which are surprisingly hard to find at Publix. My sweets cravings are killing me and there are ways around this! I've just been too lazy to get the stuff for it.

I might be going a little crazy

I find myself with nothing to do. We have projects in limbo because of yet another "re-configuring" of our work, this time led by a top exec in the company who... still hasn't hired us a Director of Marketing. Instead, she's decided to start making sweeping declarations herself. Such as, the product catalog we've produced every year for millions of years will no longer be produced. The Magazine-of-Much-Angst which we decided NOT to print any longer, 2 years ago, may now come back into print production. Slash! this brochure. Cut! that brochure. While we're at it, we're going to rework all 12 global websites in 12 languages and do that all by April 6, she declares. With a flick of our magic wands, apparently. 

Anyway, no one's assigning work right now as we await further instructions/clarifications, and the work we had been planning to do might not need to be done. Our Content Strategy could be out the window, despite all the work we've done to get it in place. Just because. Or so it seems.

It's super fun. Anyway, I've been online reading and reading to keep occupied, everything from "how much should I feed/bathe my cats?" to the usual reactions to mass shootings (how sad that we have "the usual" reactions). But at the moment it seems a lot of websites aren't loading. Such is the life of a desk jockey like myself. Sigh. Look busy.

At my lunch break I went to PetSmart again. ;) It's right across the street from my office, which is very handy, and they so kindly emailed me a $10-off coupon after taking my email address the first time we visited. It expired tomorrow, so I wanted to go spend it. Nothing exciting, just 2 more bags of dry food (one kitten and one adult), 6 little cans of wet food, and ... another set of kitty dishes. I couldn't resist, Shawn, I'm sorry. They are cute and now we can stop serving the wet food on my 2 random little pieces of yellow Fitz and Floyd china. HA! Everything matches. We are now pet owners from Pinterest.

I had to make the cats' feeding area cute because the current dilemma of the day is what to do about them while we're at Disney in 3 weeks, for 5 days. We're asking a neighbor if she wouldn't mind feeding them (and thus, be in our house and see the pet feeding area and it needing to be cute). We don't feel right about boarding them, this early into their having found a home. And gosh, I love those little critters -- the actual thought of being away for 5 days makes me sort-of want to ...stay home! Don't tell my mom! Not really, but... I'm crazy, right??

Leave the cats reluctantly to go play with a giant mouse. Heh. 

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In other news, we have a teenager in the house. He feels he is old enough to express his opinion to me now, which is a good thing in the long term but not so wonderful sometimes in the short term. I don't want to dwell on the specifics of just how he's judging me, but I'm trying to remind myself that he's growing his independence and learning to test his limits just as he should. He said it lovingly (I think?) and meant no disrespect, but it hurt a little. 

Oh, alright, I'll tell: it doesn't make sense without the context. He said he respects my parenting and all, but gets annoyed when I give in to his sister sometimes. It didn't really bug me so much immediately - I told him that there are days when I just don't have the energy to fight with her, and I choose my battles - but the more I think of it, the more it bugs me. Last night when Kate was giving me The Business but I was Sticking To My Guns, Alex then had the gall to stage-whisper "good job!" to me as she went on and I didn't. !!! The nerve. I mean, encouraging nerve, and of course he's probably right, but. 

But.

As for Kate, she learned that she can, indeed, boil water and egg noodles even though she's only 9, when meatloaf and mashed potatoes (nor any "non-dinner" thing like yogurt and sandwiches and cereal) are not to her liking.

So that's how the kids are. Otherwise great -- basketball and drama are in full swing, so Saturday mornings are shot for a while, but still, that can be great. I'm eager to Stay somewhat Present in all of the busy-ness and taxi-driving, and to enjoy This Time of Their/Our Lives, because I know, I KNOW that when it's all finished, it's finished and you can't ever get it back again. Some days it's a challenge. Especially the driving. But we keep on plugging, and juggling the drop offs and pickups as best we can, saying hello to each other, Shawn and me, when we remember to (sad sad sad) and just marching to the calendar. Every time a new Thing pops up needing to be done (a form, a donation, a volunteer opp), I either:

1. Remind myself that it's OK to say no sometimes, or

2. Immediately set a reminder for the Thing on my phone.

Doughnuts

There's no great way to get doughnuts before school. One of the privileges of being in 7th and 8th grade at our school is that, on Wednesday mornings after Mass, you get doughnuts. A different family is volun-told to bring them each week (ahead of time, thankfully). So tomorrow's our day.

• Option #1: I could get them tonight, but by 9:30 tomorrow morning they'll be dry and stuck to the bottom of the box.
• Option #2: I could offer to drive carpool tomorrow morning (Shawn usually does it, not me), and stop "on the way," in quote because there's no doughnut shop actually ON the way. The whole thing would probably ensure that we were one of the last cars in the carpool line and stress the kids out. I would also get to work late but I hardly care about that. 
• Option #3: I could ask Shawn to stop tomorrow morning on his way (also not really "ON" the way), which would stress him out more than it would me, and make him late to work. 

My gut says to go with Option #1, because 13-year-olds will likely eat doughnuts whether they're dry or sticky or not.

Service Hours

In middle school, our kids are required to turn in 3 hours of "service" each quarter. I use quotes because it's a little loose, what they define as service. For instance, you can run a 5K that's "for a cause," and that counts. If you are a member of the Safety Patrol one morning a week, that counts. And while I understand that those two services do some good for some people, I think they're pretty weak if you're actually trying to nurture a servant's heart in a kid.

Maybe I look down my nose at those options because when I was in high school, we had to do service, and Marybeth and I had a weekly appointment at a nursing home, where we helped with bingo, played the piano and sang hymns we didn't know, or just talked to the residents, and it was always awkward and a little uncomfortable. I think we did it for a semester. Come to think of it, I also did nursing home service when I was a pre-teen, at the request of my friend Nikki (or maybe her parents). One of the nursing home residents I met would sometimes call me up at home, to chat. Uncomfortable. I was 11, and she only barely knew me. She could kind-of ramble and I remember trying diligently to end the calls. I guess she needed someone, and now looking back, I hope I was at least a little bit of a comfort to her.

Anyway, since it's Alex's last year in Catholic school and he'll have to do even MORE service during his Confirmation year coming up, I have been thinking we need to progress beyond Safety Patrol. (I should say that he's also helped a couple of Eagle Scouts on their projects, but now he isn't in Scouts any more, so that's out.) There should probably be some kind of sacrificing involved, like a couple of hours on a weekend, don't you think? I'm not making him go to a nursing home, but I did sign us up, him and me, to work at the Parish Picnic this Saturday. They needed a lot of volunteers, so I picked the Putt Putt Challenge. Sounds pretty stress-free and hopefully we'll get the sense that we're serving the community in some way. (He has to turn in a form every quarter that asks, "How do you feel you benefited spiritually from this service?" That's hard to answer for school Safety Patrol, he's told me. Might be hard for putt-putt, too, but we'll see.)

I'd like to do something even more meaningful, like helping at the St. Vincent DePaul society store or a homeless ministry, but it takes a bit more effort to connect with those things. I'm going to try, though.

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Opposite of service: What I really want to do this weekend is N O T H I N G. Not that we've been doing a lot on the weekends, really, but Wednesday and Thursday nights, I've just come home exhausted. I guess having hurricane company drained me. And I think being bored at work doesn't help. Seriously, yesterday I had so few tasks and deadlines, I felt it physically (and mentally) by the end of the day. Restless, but seated at a desk. Anxious, but also unmotivated. You know when you lay around and do nothing all day but you feel extra tried by the end? It was like that. Awful. Today I made sure to have a couple of work tasks ready and waiting.

And then, I will look forward to:

• Cleaning my kitchen. Totally needs it after two weekends of company in a row.
• Going to the grocery store on a Friday night. No one will be there and it will be blissful!
• Switching my purse. Had to buy a new one yesterday at Target -- it had been SO long since I'd spent $100 at Target! (I also got new sponges, with which I'll clean the kitchen!)
• Decorating for fall? It could happen. 
• Having my morning coffee on the back patio, and needing a sweatshirt if it's chilly.
• Finishing my book (The Glass Castle - really good!)

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One other thing. I started daydreaming yesterday that I'd really love to rent a cabin in the mountains some fall weekend. Take an extra day off, even. I don't quite know why, except, well, I DO know that being outdoors makes me happy, and the woods seems to be my "happy place" more than the beach. Also, it's like being at home without having any chores that need doing. I wonder if we can make it happen this fall? Early Nov. or late Oct. maybe? I barely even care about seeing fall color -- I'd just like to have the getaway and the fresh air. Hmm.

Mid-Short-Week Check-In

Our Labor Day Weekend was just lovely. I'm so thankful Mom and Dad came to visit. It meant I didn't need to ask off work, or "work" from home on the kids' extra day off (Teacher In-Service). Although I hated being at the office that day, at least they all met me for lunch. And now I have more PTO days banked, to get me through the holiday season. That's always a good thing.

Anyway, we ate some yummy food (I'd say brunch on Sunday at Reveille was a highlight, as well as jambalaya on Tuesday), (well, and hamburgers on Sunday night in the backyard!), played a lot of cornhole and I have the mosquito bites to prove it, went to the bookstore allllll together once, and truly enjoyed the early mornings and fall temps on my back patio. Yay! So many of my favorite things! We even spent a couple of hours one morning watching 2 deer who were in the backyard woods. RIGHT. THERE. They stayed such a long time, even though we were moving around not-too-quietly. It was kinda magical.

Also, it's wonderful to have guests who don't feel like guests.

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Today is one of those marathon days that start up once school's in session. The kids have piano at 6:15, and I'll need Shawn to meet me there so I can get back to choir practice by 7:15. (I'm not really excited about it, as you know if you have read me for any length of time. I love singing, but I always complain about choir. Just... some of the people require too much effort. Sigh. Very Christian of me. But as long as the kids are in school at St. Joe's, I guess I'll keep up with it so we can get the "participating" Catholic tuition rate. Ha. The minute Kate graduates from 8th grade, I think I'm done.)

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And tomorrow, our annual (?) hurricane evacuees may arrive for an extended stay. We're.... of course happy to give them safe refuge. But kind-of less happy than we should be. They're guests that really feel like guests. Oh well. The kids'll have fun with their cousins.

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Update (Friday morning): Choir practice was really fun last night. Since it was the first one of the season, we started a whole pile of new music, and I realized: I really love sight-reading. Sight-singing. For years, it intimidated me (back in college, particularly). But I've gotten comfortable with it, confident, and I especially love when I get it right. Our director, Alvin, is a joy. He's so funny. I had to give him a hug afterwards, and then he amped it up even further by complimenting me. I left feeling really FILLED with happiness. (One of the big/contrary personalities wasn't there last night, which I know helped keep the atmosphere pleasant.)

Mid-July Thoughts

Hm. I could turn on my Calm app for white noise and continue working, or I could turn on the Calm app for white noise and start writing purely for myself, here.

Which one will I choose??

 - - - - - -

This was the easiest weekend we've had in a GOOD WHILE, due to summer, with all its traveling days. I was so happy to have Sunday coffee on my patio yesterday morning, with the backyard birds. It wasn't hot, but there was no breeze - a breeze would have helped. Still, though. Alex joined me for a while, and I didn't mind since I wasn't interested in reading my book (one of his, that I'm not enjoying yet, but reading it because he wanted me to). Our weekend was very "normal." We saw a movie, went to church Saturday night, dinner afterwards. Laundry and groceries on Sunday, the end.

I did succeed with last night's dinner. We had marinated pork tenderloin (1/4c. soy, 1/4c. bourbon, 2 Tbsp. brown sugar, marinate all day, bake at 400 for 45 minutes), roasted potatoes and French cut green beans. Everyone was pleased: Mommy actually TRIED! I even made banana pudding, at Kate's request and since I can EAT SUGAR again! lololol I'm going to have to be careful with it in the house! Anyway, it's a step up from all the lazy meals I've been serving lately.  For the rest of the week, I'm back to lazy again.

M: hot dogs w/chili, and fries
T: crock pot chicken tortilla soup, if I even have chicken. I can't remember putting it into the freezer so I hope I did.
W: homemade pizzas
Th: no idea what I put on the menu, probably nothing - ooh, guess what I just remembered we have? HAM. probably with corn. Or maybe eggs - omelets? Maybe.
F: I always leave it open in case of Friday Can't-Even Syndrome

So it's a good thing we had that nicely prepared meal yesterday, ha!

It's time to gather school uniforms and try things on. I got Kate and Alex to do a little of that yesterday. We're good on shoes. We need a new jumper for Kate, and shirts/pants/gym shorts for Alex. Will have to do more trying on soon.

I'm really struggling with the damn iPads. I sort-of want to lock them up in a safe and hide the key. I want the kids to READ and PLAY and READ READ READ. I know they can't spend all day, every day reading. But it seems like they spend all day, every day iPadding, so.... Of course, last week they went to gymnastics camp from 8 to 5 every day, no iPads allowed. And with Carli, I know they play, swim, and do other things. (They're planning 2 hikes a week for the rest of the summer!) They're really doing better than I see - when I'm home, they go for the devices and it's all I see, but they're not on them all day, I know that. I will feel better when school's in session. We do have rules for schooldays.

I hate my job I hate my job.

I'm grateful for my job, I'm grateful I can work from home this Friday since Carli needs the day off.

Brain Toss

The Whole Life Challenge this week is recommending we do a once-a-day "brain toss." It can be a to-do list, or another kind of list, but I think it could also be a rambling blog post. So here is mine.

I'm working on product descriptions for online, for work. Swimwear. We have a HUGE collection of swimwear (huge for us, anyway). It's 82 different styles, and while I can copy/paste and just reword some of them, mostly they do each have to be original. And they have to be at least 75 words. And they have to include the keywords, but be written authentically, and in the brand voice, and be enticing so that people will click on them and find them. And omg is it tedious. You would think I could write about 6 in an hour - or more. And I probably could, if I did nothing BUT write for an hour. But I get bored, and click something to take a teensy break, and then it's been 30 minutes and I'm still on the first one. And being here on the blog is not helping, but I can't help it. The thing I keep on thinking, that I most need to Toss from my Brain right now is, "OMG writing these descriptions is so borrrrrrring and mind-numbing! And it will never end! How many more do I have?..... too many to count, better not anyway or I'll get discouraged."

The kids have had as fun a week as they could at home, being that it's rained and/or been overcast every day so far. I think on Monday they went hiking at Pine Mountain, a trail I've never been on but their babysitter knows well. On Tuesday, they went to a movie ($6 movies in the summer is a great thing) after their long piano lessons. They barely got home before I did! Wednesday (yesterday) I think they hit the pool and had lunch there, but left when the rain started. They also made strawberry ice cream in my ice cream maker, but turned it green when trying to turn it pink with food coloring. Ha. Grabbed yellow instead of red, and then tried to cover that up with other colors. It still tastes good. Today I know they were running errands with Carli and visiting a lake house where she'll be house-sitting this weekend. That girl is making some good money this summer! I have been impressed because they're also reading this week! Kate read for longer than an hour yesterday -- without me doing any nagging at all! -- and Alex finished a book and started another. Praise the Lord. Who knows what they'll do tomorrow, but maybe I'll make them do laundry and clean my shower! ha! I won't either.

And then Saturday morning we'll leave for Destin. We're most excited about the new Dunkin Donuts that's been built RIGHT NEXT DOOR to our condo. I am sure we'll be regulars for the week. ;)

For now, though, I am going to go quickly walk around the building (if it isn't raining) and shake off my malaise so I can keep writing descriptions.

Confessions and purchases

I think I've mentioned that my Thursday night choir practice has become... less than inspiring... since our director, John, resigned. We've had a substitute and she's very nice and plays the organ beautifully, but, at the risk of sounding like a diva soprano, she's not really teaching us anything. John had chosen music for us before he left, to cover every Sunday through Epiphany including all the Christmas Midnight Mass songs. It's all stuff we have done a million times before, and our rehearsals consist of running through these songs, over and over. I'd go into other details but it's boring and maybe whiny.

Last night, I decided that attending rehearsal is "no longer serving me," to borrow a phrase from the wellness and happiness-movement languages. Hush, you voices that say, "But music ministry is supposed to be about you serving them, not the other way around, Lee." I know. I'll serve on Sunday. I just don't think rehearsal is doing me any good. In fact, it makes me growly and tired. John would always challenge us vocally, to conserve the breath, to aim for the very pinpoint of the pitch, to use dynamics and phrasing to make something beautiful. I miss that. Even WITH that, though, sometimes choir practice was still the same old songs, and I've been in the group for 10-ish years now.

SO, last night I didn't let on to the kids or to Shawn, but I opted out and went shopping, by myself, instead. All year I've been remembering, then forgetting, that my black trouser socks have holes in the toes... or that my Am0ena bras, which I LOVE, are in fact, more than a few years old at this point... or that I've, ahem, gained a pound or two, and guess what, my sweaters don't fit as comfortably as they used to. (BTW, I saw this tip yesterday, for stretching out shrunken clothes. I wonder if it works?)

I went to Kohl's with my handy dandy credit card and their constant promise of percentages off -- everything's always on sale there, every day! -- and I bought stuff FOR ME. Well, first I bought stuff for Shawn -- he needed new basics, too. But then, I spent 30 minutes trying on a VARIETY of bras. I went back and forth from the fitting room, more than twice! Here are all the necessaries I bought: Bra, 4-pack underwear, 6-pack trouser socks, 1 pair of jeans, two sweaters, one tank top, one pair of running shoes (walking)... It was extravagant! At least to me.

Usually when I declare I'm going shopping, a lovely 8-year-old wants to come, and she is not so patient when Mommy wants to try things on for a half-hour. And somehow, we always end up in the Girls 6X-10 area, and by then I don't want to spend more money on me. So this wandering around, all on my own, was so unusual! Freedom! Craziness!

After Kohl's I still had plenty of time, so I popped into Ross next, and found a pair of black ankle boots for $22. Score. THEN, on a high, I took myself to Books-A-Million and JUST BROWSED, quietly, in the Fiction/Literature shelves (NOT THE KIDS' SECTION) for 20 full minutes! I was thirsty, so I bought a Sprite Zero. This made me laugh out loud. Such a TREAT! (And so ridiculous that it's a treat!) I came home feeling energetic, actually, like some burden had been lifted (the burden of remembering all the things I needed to buy? maybe).

Who knew socks and underwear could so inspire!?

P.S. Guess what else? Today, I skipped work for a 3.5-hour "lunch," to chaperone Kate's field trip to the Symphony! My manager's on an airplane back from Germany, she'll never know. TOTAL REBEL IN THE HOUSE, everybody WATCH OUT.

Mid-October, are you serious?

ZOOM! go the days! Especially this past weekend:

Hurricane Matthew forced Shane and Suzanna and their girls up here on Thursday last week, and they stayed through Tuesday -- with week-old baby Alexis (7 days old and she took her first road trip)!! Suzanna is my hero, really, on that score. I distinctly recall NOT being interested in getting off my couch when my babies were that small. I can't fathom traveling. No way. We were all worn out (them too) by the time they went home. But it WAS an excuse to have them visit -- we NEVER get family-time with them. Usually just an afternoon here or there during holiday stays at Susan's. So this was nice, even though WE had to continue to go to work and school while they were having "vacation" days. No fair.

But now it's back to normal and whaaaaa! Where did September go (and August, for that matter)? How is it mid-October already? The end of the kids' first quarter today. School pictures have been taken! Magazine drive is over! Halloween decorations are up!


Third-grade basketball has begun and Kate looooooooves it. I do, too, except sitting on metal bleachers after a day at the office. Ouch. She's learning a lot already. I'm bummed that Alexis' christening is scheduled on the weekend of her first game... she'll have to miss the game, I guess. ARGH. Why can't all the calendars line up neatly for me?! Maybe something unexpected will happen and fix it. Fingers crossed.

Meanwhile, I think I'm quitting Facebook until the 2016 presidential election is over. I don't believe I can take any more "politics."