5 on a Friday

1. The back pain hasn't gotten any better. I've spent the last 2 days deep in the internet, looking up more possible causes and potential solutions. There are a lot of YouTube videos, I can tell you that. My low back aches, um, I would say pretty constantly. It's not sharp pain, it's just always there. I'm still determined to figure it out and self-treat it with the right stretches and care, but I'm not ruling out a visit to a chiropractor or physical therapist in the near future. My theory is that I've strained --over-flexed--  the muscles back there. I do stretch my back a LOT with rounded forward bends, child's pose, and cat/cows; maybe too much. Sitting is also considered flexion, and I have a desk job. It doesn't hurt down through my leg or in my hamstring so I don't think there's any nerve or disc involvement (from what I can read). So this week's remedy is that I'm trying to NOT bend forward, definitely not in the first couple of hours after waking up, and to do more -gentle- extension stretches (superman pose, cobra, etc.) I also bought some Aspercreme.

2. Alex is coming home for a quick visit today. We all have mixed feelings about that, including him -- isn't all the advice to "stick it out," even though it's hard at first? It's been 2 weeks. I haven't posted much about his high school girlfriend (perhaps nothing at all?), but this relates to her. She's attending Georgia State University in Atlanta and they're Trying To Make It Work long-distance. I should probably say no more, except that I will be glad to see him and give him a hug. And that plenty of people, Shawn included, went home frequently on weekends during their college years, and they turned out just fine. I wonder if he's bringing his laundry for me to do. ;)

3. Tonight is the high school Homecoming football game, and tomorrow is the dance! Unusually early. Kate is attending both, with her quickly-made group of girlfriends. I couldn't be happier for her to have found new friends so early on! We bought a dress -- two, actually, that were on sale for $39 each at Macy's -- and she is going to someone's house afterwards. Potential for Shawn and me to have TWO date nights in a row! Having teenagers is awesome. 

4. Jeans: What in the heck is the style this season for moms?? I know there are "mom-jeans" for teens, but I am not interested in that particular cut on my particular middle, thank you very much -- and I don't even know if actual moms are "allowed" to wear them? The only other trend I see is jeans that are very much ripped to pieces, and I'm not doing that either. I guess I don't NEED new jeans... I have a couple pairs I bought last year that are slightly boot-cut and fully intact... maybe it doesn't even matter. However I'm dressed, it's going to be "like a mom" and will be embarrassing. 

5. I can't find a bottled cold-brew coffee that's any good. Kate loves her iced coffee, and I think life would be so much simpler if I could just keep a bottle in the fridge for her, rather than making it hot (we use a Keurig) and then having to immediately cool it down, every day. But the bottled ones I've tried so far taste gross. Can anyone recommend one? 

6. Bonus! I've been reading another fun novel by Jojo Moyes: The Last Letter From Your Lover. It's set in London in the 1960s and starts with a car accident wherein a woman is injured and gets amnesia. Sounds hokey, but it's very well done, and then, surprise, Part 3 is set in present-day! I love this author, highly recommend the book and I haven't even finished it yet.

Hope you have a happy weekend! 

Friday Five: Health, books, friends, and (2) kids

1. Health update: I finally got a negative Covid test this past Tuesday, thank goodness! Took forever... and I punished myself, I guess, by continuing to test so many times, hoping. But anyway, I'm so glad that's over. I still feel some lingering effects, like a persistent need to clear my throat a little, and by the end of the day, I get a little stuffy nose. For those general two weeks, I was having to allow myself some afternoon naps -- I got so tired! Made me even more grateful for WFH, not that they would have allowed me to the office with Covid. Both the nose thing and the fatigue seem to be getting better now. (I would still like to allow myself naps, however!) I never lost taste/smell, thank the heavens above.

2. I got new books! One afternoon last week, while both kids were at a graduation party from 2 until 8, I took my solo trip to Barnes & Noble. It was so fun. I came back with a copy of The Borgia Confessions, which I hope will be good. It's been a good while since I've read a 15th-century Catholic-church-scandal-drama, lol. From now until the beach trip, I downloaded from the e-library an Emma Donohue novel, The Pull of the Stars, set during the time of the 1918 flu epidemic. Appropriate! So far I love it.

3. For my birthday we had a double-date! We never do a ton of double-date-nights with friends, well... because we don't feel like we HAVE that many couple-friends, really. Or schedules don't line up. (People who have kids, y'know?) But for my birthday, I decided that's what I wanted to do. We made plans with Allegra, my best band-mom buddy, and her husband, and had a lovely, lovely time! A couple of peach bellinis helped, to be sure, but even without those I think we would have enjoyed it. (I only felt slightly bad that I chose to go out without the kids for my birthday. Then I stopped that thought; sometimes you have to allow yourself a wish granted. I deserved it.) Last night, we met up with the family of Alex's future UGA roommate for pizza. It was also fun, and they said they'd like to get together a few more times before the boys head to school. A little as if they're interviewing us repeatedly, Shawn pointed out, but I still want to. ;) So yay!

4. Alex is enjoying some downtime after a very full, very non-stop senior year. I'm glad for him. He deserves to rest and relax; he's reading for pleasure, gaming, sleeping really late. I even think he's been bored some of these afternoons. (Good!) This week, though, he had his very first job interview. Fingers crossed, because I can't have him bored all summer, and a little spending money will be nice for him to have. Yesterday he and I went to lunch at Panda Express, one of his favorites. I'm trying not to think about the finite number of days we have left with him at home....

5. Kate is away at WinShape. In every photo we've seen, she seems utterly happy, no surprise. But I woke up in the night thinking, among many other things for over an hour, about how she's cut off from her 8th grade friends this week (phones aren't allowed), and the minute she gets back we'll be going away again, to the beach. I guess July will require some social events planned for her. I want her to keep those friends close.  

Hooray for Fridays! We have Alex's senior piano recital tonight, and maybe tomorrow we'll see a movie (and maybe do some dorm shopping? At least that's one thing I'd like to do...). 

Mid-April Rundown: Some book recs, sunrise/sunset moments, etc.!

Here it is, mid-April, and I haven't posted anything at all. What will solve it better than bulleted updates? Nothing, I think.

• I haven't bought any dresses for me -- well, except one, the Bridesmaid/matron dress for Jilly's wedding in June. Kate and I are the attendants and we bought matching-color dresses in very different styles. I had a dream last night that I tried mine on and it fit perfectly in the waist/bodice, which I truly hope is what will happen. My fear is that I ordered one size too small and it will be too late to fix it. Panic panic panic. I'm working very hard to drink 75 ounces of water every day and am doing dreaded "core strengthening work" just to make double-sure I've done my best to fit into it. (I did measure myself before ordering but I don't trust those size charts.) ....Anyway, I still need something to wear to each kid's graduation. I might try to hit Kohl's this afternoon since the Easter dress racks should be on sale... 
• Kate is well-stocked with three dresses for the season (so far). She did have a hard day of trying on a lot of things and nothing really fitting right or available in her size. Don't you HATE shopping trips like that? I really felt bad for her; it's such a quick way to a bad mood. 
• I just finished a great book, The Burgess Boys, by Elizabeth Strout. I did love Olive Kitteridge, and even moreso, Olive, Again, and her writing style has endeared her to me, although I did NOT love Lucy Barton. Still, I highly recommend The BB. Before that, I read one called The Giver of Stars, by Jojo Moyes. Either I wasn't paying attention or she didn't link the name of the book to the story, but at any rate it was an enjoyable historical fiction about a small mining town in Kentucky during the WPA era, and the Packhorse Librarians who delivered books to the rural poor. Two thumbs up, would also recommend this one, if you think it's your thing. 
• Easter was a lovely day yesterday and I had the thought, what if it's our last Easter with Alex home? Maybe he won't want to come home for the weekend next year! Sob, sob.
• Which brings me to the official news: He has committed to UGA and we put down the big deposit! Go Dawgs! (Never thought I would be a UGA devotee! Have always been kind-of annoyed at the stupid spelling of "Dawgs" when the official mascot is, in fact, the Georgia Bulldogs. But here we are, and I'm actually really excited to wear a lot of red and black in the near future.) Now I have the next milestone tasks swirling around my head. I joined a FB Group for Parents of the Class of '26 and (it may have been a mistake, because) all the talk is about finding a roommate and how do we use this website or that, and "did your kid get this letter in his portal account?" and it's making me crazy. My feeling is the kids need to do this stuff their dang selves if they're about to go away to college! I'm hoping Alex will soon have time to start working on those things, and on his marching band audition video (he's already working on it -- due May 1). 
• No sooner did we finalize UGA than the University of North Florida sent their admittance letter and a $16,000 Presidential something-or-other scholarship. Which is lovely. Still wouldn't cover the cost of out-of-state tuition, and we're hoping for more from the state of GA. But it was somewhat confusing for him to get that letter; he said, "It just feels wrong to turn down that kind of money." And I agree! 
• I am WAY behind in my gardening! I know you're supposed to wait, anyway, until after Tax Day or Easter, and those just passed... but my backyard feels sad. No time to do it this weekend, either - we have a volleyball tournament. Tra-la! I guess it will get planted sometime....
• Kate's been really sad about leaving her school. She and her friends are listening to sad songs, crying together over old pictures (I assume) late into the night. This has happened twice now. It's alarming when we hear her just sobbing, but we asked her about it and were told to kindly leave her ALONE, she's just sad. I get it. I remember some similar crying in my own life, after 6th grade and after the particularly fun community theater shows ended. Endings in life are hard, aren't they? Especially when you're young. 

Keeping the diary updated, that's all I can muster! ;)

Covid diaries: The kids tested positive

I knew we would eventually get Covid. On Dec. 21st, both kids were planning to go enjoy their first days of Christmas Break by hanging out with friends -- Kate at a sleepover and Alex ice skating with a group. We happened to have three home tests, and because there had been reports of lots of cases in Kate's class toward the end of school (a Christmas semi-formal was postponed), and Alex had been congested and Kate had had a sore throat and headache, I thought it was best if they just quickly took the tests before leaving the house.

Both tests showed positives instantly. We were supposed to leave for Savannah on the 23rd. That plan was scrapped, as well as the kids' plans that day, much to their (Kate's) dismay. Kate has adamantly said the home test was "a fake," and she "doesn't even feel bad," so she doesn't believe it's Covid (she clearly has not watched enough Nightly News). The test result was very clear.

That first day, I didn't know what to do. I sent them to their rooms hesitantly (well, Alex masked up, poured himself a glass of water and then took himself up there with a joking, "Okay, BYE, see you in January") -- but I really didn't like the idea of them banished for 10 full days. I called the pediatrician; the nurse advised exactly that, to quarantine them for 10 days in their rooms. Sigh. By the end of the afternoon, Shawn and I had decided we weren't going to enforce it. Our house is not that big, and since all of us would be home for a stretch of days, anyway, and he and I are vaccinated and boosted, we decided that if we all wore masks and social distanced in common areas, we were fine with them living in the whole house. They're teens, they keep to their rooms pretty naturally already. Sleeping until noon helps. 

For the first few days, I did have them eat meals in the dining room, and us in the kitchen. It was weird, but at least those two rooms are connected with an open doorway so we were still kind-of together. We served from the stove, one at a time. And actually, it was fun seeing the two of them having conversations, laughing (probably at us), and enjoying each others' company. By the third or fourth day their symptoms were subsiding -- and it was Christmas -- and I decided to stop worrying about it. 

Shawn and I have never developed any symptoms. He took the third home test since he was going to work on Dec. 27 -- it was negative. (He wears his mask.) I haven't yet taken one because they are nowhere to be found! There's one drive-thru test site near us and its line is HOURS long; I'm not doing that. I'm mostly quarantining with them in the first place, I'm vaccinated/boosted, and I've double-masked when I've been out to look for home tests or to the grocery store. Maybe I shouldn't be going out at all; I feel like the advice on this isn't abundantly clear for vaxxed/boosted ppl who are exposed but not symptomatic -- in fact I've read that we do NOT have to quarantine. But some of the Internet sure wants to make you feel bad if you don't lock yourself down fully. We've taken some walks outside (masked if we come near anyone). I have an appointment for a PCR test on Jan. 4, the first one available within 25 miles of me, but I'm not really sure I even need that appointment. I'll probably keep it so I can go to my office with a clean conscience. 

Yesterday, a friend dropped off 2 home tests she happened to see in a CVS near her. So kind! I'm saving those for the kids, for before they go back to school, and of course still on the hunt for more, for the future, though it pains me to think we may need them AGAIN.

I also don't know when they will be able to get their boosters now. It was on my to-do list for the holiday break, at least for Alex, who's over the minimum age. But does he have to wait a few weeks now? School will start before then and the DOOMSDAY NEWS tells us he needs a booster to be safe. Not to mention Kate, who isn't old enough for the booster, I don't think.

On the 31st, their ten days will be up. There's still some faint lingering congestion, but it's not bad. Everyone can smell and taste now. Of course we all feel terrible that we didn't get to see Susan/Gammy in Savannah. We are considering a New Year's weekend trip instead, but our pet sitter isn't available; I could ask friends, but I don't want them to feel uncomfortable coming to a house that just had double Covid patients in it. Not that I haven't been Clorox-wiping surfaces most days -- I have. But as the news just gets WORSE with Omicron, it once again doesn't seem prudent to travel, when we're going to visit someone who doesn't have her booster yet (update: she got boosted 12/29) and has smoked her entire adult life. I think Shawn is planning to go on his own; I don't love that idea, it makes me feel terrible that she won't get to see her grandkids, but I also don't really want to go (and we can't all go and leave the cats). Bah. There's no good solution.

Otherwise, my/our Christmas was quite nice! HA. Mainly because I had time to read and finish THREE books and have started a fourth -- and they've all been great, so I'll share:

• Louise Penny's Bury Your Dead. I'd seen Louise on lifeofadoctorswife's book lists and then my mom had this one on my nightstand in Pensacola at Thanksgiving, so I grabbed it. I'm not usually a mystery lover, and this one didn't change my mind, but it was entertaining, particularly the snow-filled scenes of Quebec, perfect to read during a Georgia holiday break when temps have been IN THE 70s. The mood was just right. 
• Marley, by Jon Clinch. Ohhh, how I loved this! If you have any love for Dickens or even just the Christmas Carol story, I highly, highly recommend it. Well written tale that weaves Marley's story perfectly into the myth you already know.
• Scarred, by Sarah Edmonson. This was my Christmas gift, a culty book by an author whose podcast I listen to weekly, and I finished it in less than 24 hours. So good.
• Flight Behavior, by Barbara Kingsolver. Just started this one but already it's amazing, making me laugh out loud. It's set in Appalachia and the main character is just a hoot. I have a feeling that, like most of Kingsolver's work, there will be deep meaning as I get further in. 

Today I'm back on the laptop, although I think it's going to be a very quiet day with my manager still out (she told me yesterday she tested positive!). Mom and Dad also have reported colds; we're waiting to see if they can kick it quickly or if they'll need to test, as well. I can't believe we're still not done with this virus, can you?

Book Rec: The Amish Midwife

I re-registered for the county's public library in the first few weeks of the stay-at-home order, because I wanted access to their e-books if I wasn't going to be able to go to Barnes & Noble. They were very kind to issue me a temporary library card, and told me to come by a branch as soon as they were opened again, to get a real one. (They're still not open, but the bowling alleys are! This makes no sense whatsoever.)

Anyway, the selection on Overdrive is not always ideal. The most current books are typically on a wait list for quite a long time. So for my first check-out, I found a book called The Amish Midwife, by Mindy Stearns Clark and Leslie Gould, authors I'd never heard of before. I took a chance. And I loved it. It was like the Amish version of the once-so-popular At Home in Mitford. A world that's so calming and peaceful you can almost smell dew on the grass.

And besides that, I simply love anything about the Amish. [Any faith tradition other than my own, actually. I am always drawn to fiction/historical fiction about the Amish, the Shakers, Judaism especially, the Mormons, and even going so far as the fundamentalist versions of those, up to and including all the seriously whackadoodle cults (well, not the violent or truly sick ones, but you know). I am equally creeped out and fascinated by Leah Remini's TV series on leaving Scientology, for example. I've watched the documentary about Jim Jones and the Kool-Aid thing more than once. I know it's weird but I can't help myself.]

Particularly in this coronavirus time period, but anytime, I find the Amish way of life so soothing to think about. Tend the garden. Raise the kids. Hang the laundry out to dry. Don't worry about looking fashionable. Rock the babies. Baking. Farming. Community. Sure, the lifestyle has its issues and problems (insular families, much-too-young brides, patriarchy), but we can skip past those. Slow-paced life working from home is suiting me right now, and intrigues me all the time. So anyway, this book was a total comfort. Lucky for me it's the first in a series of 4. I've already downloaded Book #2, because I'm not ready to leave that world just yet. I may get tired of it before reading all four, but we'll see.

Book #1, incidentally, tells the story of a 26-year-old Oregon girl, who discovers that she is related to an Amish family in Pennsylvania, and goes there to find out more about those family ties. There were things that frustrated me about both her character and the Amish family members, and one plotline specifically that was very obvious but kept a "secret" for the entire story -- but mostly, it was just great storytelling, well-written, with believable relationships and irresistable vignettes of Amish culture.

I think it falls into the category of "Christian fiction," which isn't always a good recommendation, but the spiritual stuff wasn't heavy-handed; maybe because the Amish way is gentle and non-confrontational. I recommend it if you think something light and comforting might be good for you right now.

At last, Pride and Prejudice

For all my big talk about books and love of literature, I've never read Pride and Prejudice! Never! Jane Eyre is my favorite of all time -- I think I've read it 3 times -- but never P&P.

So today I downloaded it to my Kindle. (Hooray for Amazon Classics costing $0.00!)

One reason I chose it is that I just read Anne Tyler's A Spool of Blue Thread, which I thought was a complete waste. Totally disappointing. So I wanted something "meaty." The other reason is that I also saw this book -- Longbourn, the "downstairs" account of the events in P&P -- and that intrigued me! But I won't allow myself to read it until I read the original.

I've had a fun year reading free e-books through my county library. Want the mini-reviews?

1. Time Traveler's Wife - loved it. I had tried to read it several years ago and couldn't get interested, but once I did, I didn't want it to end.
2. Scythe - YA dystopian fiction that Alex chose on a table at the bookstore. Was awesome.
3. Shadow of Lakecrest - chose it because it was on sale for .99, and really liked it. Think about it still.
4. Man Called Ove -- loved, obviously
5. The Heart Goes Last - weird Margaret Atwood. Too weird.
6. Good Harbour - awful, sappy, cheesy annoying "ladies who are friends at the beach" story
7. Hagseed - awesome Margaret Atwood, loved it (from the Hogarth Shakespeare re-imaginings)
8. Life Below Stairs - meh. non-fiction and dry
9. The Goldfinch - I think it's controversial! some people hate it! But i loved it a LOT. Deep and sad and intriguing
10. Code Name Verity - loved it. WWII fiction with female heroes, set it England/France? of course it was good!
11. The Secret History - since I liked The Goldfinch so much I thought surely another Donna Tartt would be good. It was a good story, but not as heart-rending as the other one, I thought. Still, the setting in New England was lovely and the characters... weird and interesting.
12. Station Eleven - kept hearing about it online. It was only OK, I thought. But nice how it had several plotlines that came together in the end. I love when books do that
13. Remarkable Creatures - as much as I adore Tracy Chevalier, I was not planning to like this one. The preview descriptions just did nothing for me. But then I loved it! Read it at the beach, which was perfect.
14. Room - excellent. Disturbing.
15. The Arsonist - meh. just something to tide me over. I think I read the whole thing in 5 hours on the way home from the beach
16. A Game of Thrones - as epic as its reputation on TV. loved it. can't decide, however, if I want to read the rest.
17. Chains - Alex read for school, and recommended. Excellent. 
18. Bridget Jones Mad About the Boy - so nostalgic to go back to Bridget Jonesey. Fun read.
19. High Mtns of Portugal - one of the weirdest stories I've ever read. There were 3 distinct sections, and they came together in the end, but they were all totally bizarre (and sometimes boring)
20. The Glass Castle - already reviewed. Excellent.
21. Wild - loved it
22. In the Unlikely Event - renewed my love of Judy Blume, and a fascinating (based on true) story
23. State of Wonder - only okay. I wanted it to be better. Total bummer of an anticlimactic ending
24. Spool of Blue Thread - disappointing and banal

Pride & Prejudice will be book #25 and might take me through Christmas. I'm pretty impressed with myself - it's the most I've read in a lonnnnng time.

Any recommendations for next year?

Happy Birthday, Mom! ...and a Weekly Check-In

I love you!! Hope you celebrate with wine and something non-compliant and delicious!

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I think we're caught up after going out on the town Sunday night. ;) We saw The Church again. We met the band!! It was pretty awesome, walking into that room behind the stage to the VIP Meet and Greet, seeing them all sitting in there, waiting for us. Surreal. There were only about a dozen of us with passes. We got to know some other super-fans and even exchanged phone numbers (weird)! The whole thing was amazing... but it made us TIRED. Guess what? 43 and 48 are not so young anymore, haha! Sunday night didn't end until 2:00 am. Yes, we went to work the next day. Yes, at the normal time in the early morning. It's just what you have to do, you know? Or, it's what you have to do when you don't have an "unlimited" vacation-days policy, a la all the new Millennial-run companies. (SO UNFAIR.) We put ourselves to bed at 9:30 Monday night.

Anyway, we've been sleeping HARD since then and feeling pretty much back to normal, although I have been taking it suuuuuper easy on the dinner menu for the week. I feel kinda ashamed.

M - hot dogs with chili, and frozen tots. 3 hours sleep, don't bother me.

T - chili with rice, and rotel cheese dip with chips. so I cooked, and actually there were tomatoes in both the chili and the rotel, so there's vegetables. maybe I don't feel so bad after all.

W - tonight is Shawn's night to cook and I planned frozen Fish Sticks/Fish Tacos. I made some jalepeno tartar sauce this morning. What to go with it....? probably Kraft mac and cheese and maybe a little salad (you up for that, dear husband?)

TH - yeah, that's going to be a fast food night in between piano and choir.

F - I have some chicken breasts, and maybe I can pull something amazing out of my hat. Funnily, Friday has become a big cooking night this semester, since Thursdays are nuts and I can relax the schedule on Fridays. I kinda like the challenge of seeing what I have in the pantry. (Reminds me: I need to restock pantry staples garlic salt and PB/grape jelly. Not for dinner, just for stocking.)  

S - dropping Alex off at a co-ed party (still surprising: he's 13!) and going out to dinner without him. The mom who's hosting his party said adults can stay if they like, she'd have drinks and snacks for parents. But I asked Alex what he wanted me to do, and he said, "Hmmm. You can drop me off." Knowing that the host-mom is one of my best friends! Ha! Thanks a lot, kid! But I'll skip it for his sake.

Next week, I promise to cook some balanced meals. Hidden spinach, coming to a casserole near you.

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I've been reading non-fiction lately. Two memoirs. The first was The Glass Castle, which Mom pointed out in Barnes & Noble a few weeks ago, and reminded me there's a movie coming out. I really didn't know a thing about it, but wow, was it interesting. About a family with what I would call negligent, irresponsible parents, and how their kids survived their very odd, unmoored, poverty-stricken upbringing. It was an eye-opener, and I want Alex and Kate both to read it. I think it will make them much more appreciative of their nothing-short-of-amazing lifestyle. (In comparison, I mean.)

And next, I downloaded Wild from the e-library, by Cheryl Strayed. I love it. About her hike on the Pacific Coast Trail. Strangely, I've read a lot of hiking memoirs. Well, this is the third but it feels like a lot. Into Thin Air was the first, by Jon Krakauer, and then A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson. Loved them both. This one's the first I've read by a woman, and it's awesome as well. I do not understand why someone would do a months-long hike like that by him or herself. Ever. I cannot fathom. I've almost finished it, and now I want to re-read the other two. 

Reading, I think, is my preferred way to party on a Sunday night (even though our last Sunday really WAS epic, thank you, honey, for the tickets and for sharing your favorite music with me all these years). 

Good things in bold

I made it to another Friday. It's been an interesting week with Shan away and the kids also away. I've felt like I had SO much time inside my own head! Maybe too much? I've had (and still have) lots of writing projects at work, which keeps me occupied, and keeps the earbuds in constantly to drown out the Customer Service chatter all around me.... which makes things feel kind-of lonely, to be honest. But I'll stop right there; this post is an attempt to list all the good things. 

Yesterday, I was having a real writer's block about some ad copy. I'd written something, but Shan sent me a message that derailed it, and I had to start over. I could NOT come up with another angle to save my life. And it's hard, sometimes, to force an idea. I went outside, stared into the space of nature for a while, tried to let my thoughts wander, printed out the page instead of trying to write it on the computer, finally I had to go into an empty office and I came up with something. Not sure how. I know I asked for Divine Help! Begged, really. It made me wonder if I'm actually "creative" at all. That's a question I may not want to answer. Maybe my gift is clear communicating, or informational organization, or project planning/execution instead, and not idea-generating. I really want to explore that. It might mean finding work that makes my heart sing, mightn't it? 

I've had such a great run of reading lately! At the beach I finished three books! I read Remarkable Creatures, by Tracy Chevalier (historical fiction), then Room, by Emma Donaghue (modern-day fiction), and then a pretty fluffy romance called The Arsonist, by Sue Miller. Every one was enjoyable, although the first was hard to get into, the second rather disturbing, and the third, as mentioned, a fluffy romance. Still, I recommend them all. Over the July 4th holiday I read Chains, by Laurie Halse Anderson, which is one Alex had to read last year for school and recommended. That kid knows me. Another historical fiction. I loved it, and loved reading about the Revolutionary War on July 4! It's about the only patriotic thing I did, other than watching some fireworks from our front porch... on the 3rd. Ha. What will I read next?? Probably a Helen Fielding sequel to the Bridget Jones series, Mad About the Boy. I won it at a baby shower recently. 

The WLC is almost done! ONE MORE WEEK. I'm glad I did it again, but glad it's nearly over. It has been difficult. I don't want to do the next one. I do want to keep up the good habit of not eating so much bread and sugar, and of stretching EVERY DAMN DAY. Sorry about the profanity, my friend Nataly says that about yoga and I think it's funny. I'm enjoying this week's Lifestyle Practice, of throwing away (or getting rid of) one thing every day. Might have to keep that up, too, for a while. I threw out some beat-up shoes yesterday. All they've been doing is cluttering up my closet for the last year. I got good use from them, and now it's time to say goodbye. 

Last night Shawn did yoga with me. (Thank you, Shawn!) I could talk all day about stretching and breathing and yoga, and how good it is for health and ease and pain relief; I really loved sharing it with him (like we did wayyyy back in 1999 when we were dating, and took a class together). I hope we'll be able to do more of it together, although it might be harder with the kids back home. Then again, maybe Kate would join us, too, while Alex is probably playing video games online. LOL. Or maybe we could get Alex to join in the fun. Only thing is, we need a bigger room and 2 more yoga mats. ;)

Surprises and gratitude

One of the things I'm so grateful for, and feel compelled to report, is that Kate's mornings and evenings are finally settled, and going better. (JINX.) Mornings have started to surprise me, even. She is able to wake up and she WANTS to be the first kid downstairs, dressed and ready. Some days I leave her snoozing in her bed, to go get my socks or say hello to Alex. "I'll give you a few more minutes, Sweetie..." and when I come back, her light is on and she's tying her shoes, for heaven's sake. Blows me away.

I still can't get her to comb her hair on a daily basis, but hey. Fridays is good. Baby steps.


In the evenings, her preferred routine hasn't shortened at all (in fact it might take longer?) but it has ...matured...(?) to this:

• We read chapter books together for 10 or 20 minutes (there are some Tinkerbell/fairy ones - the Never Girls collection -  she likes a lot, as one of the heroines is named Kate and another one is Mia (the name of a friend of hers), or Junie B. Jones books that we've read at least 3 times before, or she kind-of enjoyed a couple of Nancy Drew and the Clue Crew).
• She then spells out exactly what she wants in her lunchbox the next day, and for her 2 snacks, and admonishes me to remember a water bottle.
• She asks me to "give her" a dream, and I've fairly surprised myself by being able to come up with something dream-like and creative on the fly, something different every night... once it was "dream you're tiny and you're playing in a huge tub of popcorn with your friends, and you slide down into it, then toss the popcorn to each other, then eat some, then..." here she interrupts me to add her own embellishments, like "and everything in the world is there? Every thing? a girl could ever want?" And I say, "Sure. It's your dream." and go on like this and try to give her a few things so that her eyes will stay closed for a minute longer after she "starts to dream it." 
• I rub her back while playing her a "Lullaby" playlist that I made on my iPhone (woe to me if I forget the phone, though she's usually willing to go all the way downstairs if it means she'll get to listen to her songs.). The list includes: Amy Grant's "Say Once More," Sting's "Fields of Gold," The Free Design's "Love You" (a song I discovered/listened to when she was an infant), The King's Singers' rendition of Billy Joel's "Goodnight, My Angel," and finally Don Henley singing "Annabel."

It's sweet. Long, but sweet. No more fussing and fighting when I leave. Forever and ever Amen.

There are nights when I make a date with Alex instead. We've been reading Harry Potter IV, The Goblet of Fire, and just finished it this week. I didn't cry. Miracle. Every other night with him, really, would be my preference, but on the other hand, he's older and likes to read by himself more than she does. I find it amusing that he'll read awhile, and then when I come in, he hands the book to me, tells me where he left off, and rolls over to listen to me read the rest.
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He and I had to use our time once last week to read through a very long, required section of his new Boy Scout manual, about avoiding abuse. Yuck. It was yucky. And weird. But as many times as I've read Mir K.'s "under the sink" story, one of the funniest mom-blog posts of all time, I knew that acknowledging that it was weird and awkward and embarrassing would make it better. We got through it. Kid needs to figure out Santa Claus ASAP, though, and let me know, because it's almost time for him to hear the rest of that whole conversation (I think they're starting to approach it in "Family Life" at school (5th grade). I can't have him knowing about s-e-x before he knows about Santa). Yipes. Anyway, GOOD QUALITY TIME talking with my boy is so important to me.
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Spring Break was wonderful. Everything I wanted. The kids swam, the weather was nice so the grown-ups could sit outside, I didn't HAVE to swim with them, but I did, once, we felt the sand under our feet and smelled the healing salt-air at the beach, we hung out with cousins, we had a big dinner party with the fam, and we had the great mornings around the kitchen table that Kate said she loves. I read my book a lot. My parents are the best. I loved every minute of it, and even the driving wasn't so bad.
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It's Friday. GRAAAAAAATEFUL. This week hasn't been too terrible at work. Just your regular assignments and interruptions. Let it be, let go of expectations. Do good work (and keep in touch). I tell myself these things. The mid-week days I look forward to, because after work on Tuesday I take Kate to gymnastics, and on Wednesday I take Alex to piano, and I love attending both of those things. It's free time for me to read, while they're learning and having fun. So those days aren't so bad at all, and by then I've made it to Thursday already.

Posts I've started but never finished, and other things - 7QT

I still read Conversion Diary's 7 Quick Takes posts, but I obviously don't participate in the link-up anymore since I'm not publicly blogging. Her format fits this time, though -- I've started at least 3 posts recently that never have gotten finished and I just feel like sharing today, random (and whiny) though it may be.

--- 1 ---

Relating to Others. I had some thoughts going on this topic last week, when there were a couple of days where my coworkers and I barely said two words to each other for 8 full hours. Mostly, it's because we all have so much damn work. There's just not any let-up in this company. I don't know if it's the economy, and we're all doing too many jobs because we can't afford to hire more people, or if it's just our weird policies and procedures that have evolved over time, but some days I hate it. I work with nice people... it's just that we don't take the time to talk to each other. Maybe good morning, how was your weekend. MAYBE "come look at this funny YouTube video. Oh, and there were other thoughts included in this about Smart phones, and Facebook, and how they've also ruined us for relating to each other. Example: I NEVER call friends anymore, just to say hi and see how they're doing. I think, "She's too busy," and "I hardly know him/her anymore." Sad. Even my friends who were persistent about calling 3 or 4 years ago (and by persistent, I mean slightly annoying) have stopped altogether, and it turns out I'm kinda sad about it. This world, man. It's a little messed up.

--- 2 ---

Kids' Activities. Good heavens, this move is badly timed. End of school and summer camp haven't even been on my radar, so I'm late, late, late planning them. I think we've figured out most of how they'll spend the summer. MOST. Kate will have three weeks in Florida, thanks to her awesome grandparents (thanks, Grandparents!), and Alex will have two. Then Alex will go to his sleepaway camp for 2 weeks -- ON HIS 10th BIRTHDAY, sob, sob!!! He'll also be going to a Manga/Anime camp at the local university sometime in June, something I know he reeeeeeeally wants to do. I've got my eye on a week of Theater camp for both of them. (Can't help myself!) And for the in-between times, they'll just have to go to their old daycare camp and hopefully get to go on a few field trips. I wanted one of their second cousins to be their nanny for a week or two, and take them to the pool and stuff, but now that our new neighborhood won't have a pool... besides that, I didn't want to tie the girls down. They're 18-19, I doubt they really want to babysit for 5 days straight.

--- 3 ---

Reading. I bought three new books on my Kindle last week and had high hopes for getting back into reading. I've missed it! I haven't read anything in MONTHS, besides my Facebook feed and blogs when I don't feel like working, and magazine articles. I miss books. But with all the packing to do, it's not looking real good for the rest of this spring, either. The books I bought are:

Astonish Me, by Maggie Shipstead -- I know nothing about the author except what I read in the description and the book jacket, last time I was in a bookstore. But it's about the backstage of professional ballet, so I know I'll love it. And it's fiction. Haven't bought fiction in a great while, surprisingly!

Something Other Than God, by Jennifer Fulwiler -- I don't know why I didn't pre-order this first thing, but I didn't. But obviously I love the author, wish I knew her in person, and atheist-to-Catholicism stories are AWESOME. Can't wait to get it next Tuesday.

Five Lessons from the Carmelite Saints that Will Change Your Life, by Connie Rossini -- on Jennifer Fulwiler's recommendation. I think I put it in my Cart at the beginning of Lent when I still thought "Maybe I'll make Lent count."

--- 4 ---

Lent didn't happen much for me. I was very busy TRUSTing God about real estate (side eyes: was I really?), so I didn't concentrate on anything else, prayer-wise. I ate my usual amounts of chips and salsa even though I had wanted to give them up. Bah. Try again next year? Or does Lent even need to be "fruitful?"

--- 5 ---

Webelos Woods campout. Shawn's taking Alex and his den of Webelos to a serious camping event this weekend. I am so impressed with Shawn, first of all. He doesn't even like camping, and yet he's been on 7, I think, campouts in the last 4 years, with a few more on the way. This one, he's kind-of in charge. Being a Leader and all. He's had the extra stress of planning the menu, getting the food itself, coordinating with who has the coolers and other supplies that belong to the Pack, assigning tents and activities to all the campers for his Den.... it's been a lot. He doesn't like this stuff. And yet, he's doing it (is even good at it - he was in Production/Project Management for a while, after all). So this campout is specifically for teaching the kids to DO IT THEMSELVES. They've all been assigned particular duties, and once they get there, the Leaders aren't even supposed to help. Pitching the tent, cooking the food -- all on the kids' shoulders. No help unless there's an emergency. Alex is the "Grubmaster." I'm so excited for the boys. Kids these days need to be allowed to do for themselves! I think it's awesome. (Profound.)

--- 6 ---

and Girls' Weekend! With the two males out of the house, Kate and I... don't have many plans except she's sleeping in my bed with me. :) Hee. I hope we'll go out to a nice dinner together, maybe invite a friend, and we have a birthday party to attend. She willingly told me that the birthday boy "likes" her... and she also likes him... "kind-of, I mean, I don't want to talk about it!" !!! Hee hee. I'm looking forward to our time together, even though we already spend a lot of time together, she and I.

--- 7 ---

Quick Takes are never that quick, actually! Wowee, this seems long. I've just had conversations with our real estate agent and we're getting closer to having things buttoned up. We might not even come out as poor as we originally thought (although summer camps don't help! Geez!) We're trying to coordinate moving times, talking about the final clean-up before we leave... at Easter dinner I said to the kids, "This is the last holiday meal we'll have in this house..." and none of us was very sad, I don't think. Shrug of shoulders. I've had some mixed emotions telling people, but have been trying to think of it as EXPANDING our circle, not moving it altogether from one place to the other. It's all going to be good, because there's a reason for everything. Yes. It is.

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

7 Quick Takes: First week of summer

--- 1 ---

I've done quick takes a lot (albeit sporadically) but I just found the HTML template today! Thank you, Jen!

--- 2 ---

I'm having a love affair with chocolate. Perhaps this deserves a whole post on its own, but never have I been more IN NEED of daily chocolate doses. What's wrong with me? (It's not that.) (No, it's not that either.) I've just developed a habit, I guess, where after a meal I have my chocolate. At home, it's a Hershey's kiss dug out of the bottom of the giant Halloween/Easter bowl. We keep it in the cabinet for "dessert night" if the kids want candy. Today, I didn't have any at my desk, so after my trip to the bank, I whirled around the corner and ran into World Market where I picked up THREE big ol' 3-oz. bars. Here was my logic on getting three: If I had only gotten one, I'd have probably eaten the whole thing. With three, I KNEW I couldn't eat the whole amount so I'd likely behave myself. *cuckoo, cuckoo* I did behave - I only ate 3/4ths of a serving. NOM NOM ANTIOXIDANTS.

--- 3 ---

KT -- ballet recital. She's improved a lot over the last year, I learned last night at the dress rehearsal. She actually does the moves, in time with the music. She also has stage presence. She was one of the only girls smiling in her group and believe me, it helps. She looked like a tiny professional up there. She gets that from me. ;) No, but seriously, I'm getting dangerously close to the Stage Mom arena: it's so fun to say "dress rehearsal," just like I used to have when I was a theater junkie. She wants to continue in ballet, so now I have to pick the MOST PERFECT studio for her future career as a prima ballerina. (Her current teacher comes to her daycare so I don't have to drive, but they do not come to the elementary schools. They have a studio but it's not conveniently located.)

--- 4 ---

AJ -- 2 weeks of sleepaway camp starts Sunday! It only hit me today that he's going to be GONE. Away from his Mama's hugs. The weirdest thing is when he's not in his room at night. But I'm excited for him. I'm especially excited about the care packages and cards that I've already packed up, and will turn in when we drop him off so I don't have to mail anything. Only drawback is having to "invent" text for those cards -- I mean, it's mostly "Are you having fun?" and "I know you're having fun," but sometimes it doesn't feel natural unless you write "We're fine here at home -- just doing... normal home stuff." Heh.

--- 5 ---

DH -- So good to me. We've been juggling drop-offs and pick-ups and dinners, and tonight he's doing the yardwork, and he's just so CONSISTENT with things. I chose well. That's the update on him. :) I mean, I could go on and on -- I schedule things and THEN check with him, and he's fine with it. I fail to clean bathrooms (particularly his/ours) and he doesn't yell at me. (HE'D BETTER NOT.) I dry his shirt all the way twice in a row when it's supposed to hang to dry, but he manages not to even roll his eyes or sigh, just takes the shirt and moves on with his life. (I guess... I hope he's not stewing about that one.) He always drives us. He lets me say I'm too tired to cook, let's go out, and he just GOES with it. Alright, I'll stop. He's great, though. You should know that.

--- 6 ---

Reading! I've been reading! I finished Kingdom Keepers (meh), and then picked up a book I've had for years, since right after Girl with a Pearl Earring was so popular. It was The Lady and the Unicorn, also by Tracy Chevalier. LOVED it. Not quite as perfect as Pearl Earring, I didn't think, but CLOSE. So, since I was in the medieval mood I finally, finally downloaded Here Be Dragons to my Kindle and started it the other night. LL, I'm thinking of you!

--- 7 ---

Swimming! We went, last Friday, and here is a very big announcement: I DID NOT EVEN GET IN THE WATER. There were plenty of kids at our gathering, particularly some 9 and 10-year-old girls who were happy to play babysitter to the two 5-year-olds which included KT, and therefore, I was FREEEEEEE! I had a BEVERAGE! AJ stayed on his noodle (darn the bottom of the pool! If he could JUST touch the bottom all my swimming anxiety would be solved) and KT had on her arm floaties. I WANT to get her out of her floaties, and I am going to TRY to get them in swim lessons somehow, this summer, but DANG if it didn't feel refreshing to say, "Okay, have fun in the pool!" and just look up every once in a while to make sure they were fine. (THEY WERE FINE!)

This summer's beach week might be especially sweet by the pool! Yeehaw! EXCEPT that none of my gal-pals will be there to enjoy it with me (ahem, MB, LM, and J.BEANS)!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Enforced!

Today AJ's teacher emailed me to say if her warnings to the tickling-bullies wear off, to let her know and she would be the REINFORCER! All-caps, exclamation point, just like that.

And that is one of the many reasons I love our school.

 * * *

DH has the day off today. It's a furlough day, but still. Am jealous. Although, he's spending the day doing all kinds of errands, some of them for me. (And one major one for him - a new laptop. I was originally against, but came around to "for" because we have found many times that one kid is using the current laptop (which we are keeping), and another kid wants to also use a laptop -- or one of us has something to scan, which requires the laptop (not the iPad), and blahblahblahcakes we are now a two-computer family again. Huzzah!)

I had a sort-of day off yesterday. A day away from my desk. I went around and visited some of our customers, along with a group of international co-workers who are here for a visit. It was super fun and a good reminder of why we do what we do. Plus, I was allowed to be done for the day at 2:30. BOOM. I was in one of the FIRST carpool segments and that is a RARITY. I had warned AJ that I might not make it to carpool at ALL, so I came out smelling like a rose... and then took him to the bookstore after that! Why not?! My kid loves to read, folks, and I can't not encourage that because of a silly little thing called cashflow! Heh. We only bought one book. Kingdom Keepers. Based in DisneyWorld. So, so awesome -- I'm starting Book I as soon as I finish Miss Peregrine's... .Reading is fun.

 * * *

After a short break wherein I took a walk in the gorgeous sunshine (Wow, does that ever make a difference in one's mood, right?), now I'm sitting here almost finished with work, while DH and AJ are at the endocrinologist for our first follow-up. According to his text messages, only one pound was gained since November 1; I thought it was more. But he also grew .75 inches... so maybe this is a good sign. And he also lost nearly two teeth (one is hanging by a thread at the moment), so I think the doc will be pleased with that progress. I am as curious as can be about what she'll say and it feels weird not to be the parent there with him. DH had better take copious notes. I will want all the details!

Ten minutes

The last 2 days, we have come home from school pickups and taken ten minutes to sit, have a snack, and talk about our “homework” (KT’s collection of papers and art is what she calls her homework, and she loves to tell me about each drawing and worksheet). I want us to do this EVERY DAY. Whoever is home first. We eat dinner all together nearly every night, and I know what a rarity that is, but I don't think there's anything wrong with one more daily chance at quality time. And then after ten minutes, I want the kids to go “unwind” in front of the TV so that I can get dinner started. Heh. “Quality time is finished, kids, now get out of my kitchen.”

Actually it ended up being more than ten minutes yesterday, because we got to laughing about something... what was it? Oh, right, it was “my poopy-dommy mommy.” My Granny invented that phrase as part of her storytelling. It stuck with me as a child because it sounds so silly, and now it tickles my kids. Yesterday I told them that my Mom has never liked it or thought it was funny. They laughed and laughed, every time we said it, and every time I wrinkled my nose at it, “like Grandmommy does.”

Anyway, the ten minutes is clearly worth it. They thought so, too, because they got to eat Little Bites brownies.

[Also: I read recently (again) that just ten minutes of exercise will make a difference. Maybe you’ve heard my sad stack of excuses before...? I consistently go in spurts, working out 3 times a week for about 2 weeks, and then it falls off again like a rock off a ledge. I would say I’m sick to death of it, but “to death” sounds like an unintended invitation – especially with as much as I read and write (for work) about breast cancer and women’s health. Things are preventable! Exercise helps Everything! Ten other minutes. *she says with authority* Maybe while dinner's working.]

I'm giving up on A Tale of Two Cities. I gave it a go; I really wanted to sink into it again. But life's too short, you know? I've read it before and I know, I remember, that I loved it then. Plus it has felt very inaccessible to my brain in its "busy-mom" state, with ten minutes left for reading at 10:50 pm. I need fluff. Or at least something that's going to grab me and not make me work so hard for it. So. Brisk clap! Thank you, Mr. Dickens, be on your way.

What I read in 2012

Here's what I wanted to read in 2012. I had good intentions!

....but here's what I actually read in 2012:

I Am Forbidden: A Novel, by Anouk Markovits. Loved, loved, loved this story. I always love stories about the Orthodox Jews. This was from the point of view of a woman, which is unusual, I think, for that topic. It was the first thing I bought on my Kindle Fire. I had read about it in Entertainment Weekly, of all places.

Committed: A Love Story, by Liz Gilbert. Was on my wish-to-read list and was actually read! Congratulations to me! And I liked it, too.

The Girl Who Stopped Swimming, by  Joshilyn Jackson. Also from my wish-to-read list. I started it, but didn't finish it. I never could get interested in the main character. I just didn't feel anything for her. Disappointing because for years (I was reading J's blog when she started writing this one), the title made me really want to love it.

No Regrets Parenting: Turning Long Days and Short Years into Cherished Moments with Your Kids, by Harley A.Rotbart M.D. I didn't finish the whole thing but I appreciate parenting wisdom.


(I think I won't continue with all the links.)
The Road, by Cormac McCarthy. This was one mindbender of a book. We chose it on my recommendation for our family "book club" conversation at the beach, and reactions were very mixed between my cousins and our parents. Some of us loved the desolation and sadness, and others of us couldn't handle it. It was quite depressing, but I really liked it.

Silver Bells, by Luanne Rice. Given to me by DH's Nanny. This was a fluffy romance-y book, but I really enjoyed it. I read it during our Thanksgiving vacation and it was a good way to get in the mood for Christmas, I thought. It was sweet.

Summer by the Sea, by Susan Wiggs. Another romance I borrowed from Nanny's shelf. I didn't want to like this book. I was determined not to like it, in fact. It was intellectually flat, as I expected it to be with that dumb title. But I finished it quickly sometime this summer, and for a long time I couldn't get the main character out of my head. Thank goodness I can't even remember her name anymore.Oh well, it was something to do.

A Tale of Two Cities, by Charles Dickens. I started this just after Thanksgiving. Something made me want to read something difficult and fulfilling. ;) I read it in high school, of course, and had forgotten that we had to memorize the first page/paragraph. "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...." It was fun that it felt so familiar to re-read that. I'm enjoying it so far but man, does that guy like his long sentences and his descriptions. Do I really need to know so much about the gravel in between the cobblestones on that small road in France?  

I didn't read a single trendy thing. No Shades of Grey over here. I don't know if that's good or bad.

What are you reading now?

Friendship milestone

Our Book Club was started by two women, in their twenties at the time, and me. They worked together, and I was the book-loving sorority sister of one of them, who was kindly invited to the first "meeting." We read "The Book of Ruth," by Jane Hamilton.

We have continued to meet since 1997 -- that's fifteen years this year. In that time several other members have come and gone, but the three, and then four, of us have stayed constant. We have mostly continued reading together, until these last several months. And oh, the books! So many John Irving novels, Fannie Flagg and Wally Lamb, some fiction that nobody liked except me, some enlightening non-fiction, some historical easy-reads, of course the Twilight and Hunger Games series, and lots and lots of others along the way. We've done spa-days, dinners out, a wine tasting, New Year's parties, a road trip, and impromptu baby showers for each of us.

We met last night because one of us is moving to Ohio. It's unexpected. So we poured the red wine and talked until nearly midnight on a school night. (Over the years, as you can imagine, our meetings have grown less and less book-focused.) And we laughed and laughed, at our twenty-something selves, at the absudity of life sometimes, at people we've known, at our shared and separate stories, some that we've told over and over again.

I know I've said this before, but I am so grateful that these women are my friends. I'm glad we got together again. There's a renewed need to be more regular about gathering, I think. But we're going to miss you, Stacy.

Summer begins

Yesterday we got a postcard from AJ and it absolutely made my day. He has been away at summer camp for 89:28 hours and I do miss him! His postcard says he is having "SO much fun." Underlined. :)

The whole experience has been great for the Mama, too. If you're going to send your kid to camp, I highly recommend a Christian one. Most of you probably know that. But, oh, has this camp filled my heart with gladness and peace, and my eyes with good tears, on so many occassions! When we arrived, the 4 counselors recognized him from the photo I attached to his application! Called him by name! When we were setting him up in his cabin, one of the counselors handed me a picture of himself, something the camp had printed up, to remind me of his name so that I could pray for him daily. DH took that in the sarcastic way, like, "PRAY for me, I'll be here with 16 seven-year-olds all week!" (haha!) but I think it was meant in the earnest-Christian way, and I just LOVE that. I've kept his picture right under AJ's on my desk at work and I have, indeed, prayed for them both, all week.

Maybe I'm growing, at least in my prayer-life, as AJ is growing in confidence and independence.

It's so comforting to know that he's in good hands, and being prayed for and loved by all these people who barely know him. What a gift. He's probably learning things about Jesus and the Bible that, forgive me, but they don't teach the same way in Catholicism. I don't fault Catholicism, but I know that my youth was influenced so wonderfully by the earnest and loving Protestants in various times of my life, and I'm thrilled to give AJ a taste of that branch of Christianity, too. I hope he's soaking it up.

Before he left, he had been swimming one time, with a friend on the last day of school. I'm really glad of it. Before I sent him out into the big, bad world of sleepaway camp, I was at least assured that he remembers, from last summer's lessons and progress, to kick his feet. I wasn't there with him that day and it was a TEST of my phobia, for sure. I hate to admit it, but I still seem to fear his drowning, and for some reason I continue to let my mind go there. I spent the afternoon panicked, shaking it off, willing myself not to think about it, panicked again, and then after a quick Google of "how to pray about fear," reading and re-reading, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

I only texted the mother once, saying, "All OK?" But I had the urge to text her several additional times, to say, "Remind AJ to KICK HIS FEET."

This week I know they're swimming at camp, too. But I'm trying to trust that he's in good hands. (Actually I saw photos of the pool and its shallow end is extremely shallow, plus I think that at least 4 counselors and 1 lifeguard are present any time the kids are in the water.) Trust is something I probably could stand to work on, for more than just my kids' swimming, so it's good to practice.

As for Miss KT, she has been extra sweet this week while she's had the parents all to herself. I really think this has been good for her, as well. Monday was my birthday and we celebrated with a nice dinner out (and my new Kindle Fire! I've already ordered a new book for it, woo-hoo!! Fiction!*) Tuesday after work, she and I had a big game of Dollhouse in her room, and I loved being able to focus just on her, and not feel like I was ignoring AJ. Yesterday I took HER to the pool -- still in arm-floaties, no mama-fear! -- and this afternoon, I think we're going to do some baking (banana bread). She and I will go back up to the camp tomorrow morning to pick up her brother.

So far, I like this summer a lot. :) Our big beach vacation is in two weeks, and my 20-year high school reunion is in July. Lots to look forward to! Lots to be grateful for.



* I did read some fiction at the end of May. The Road, by Cormac McCarthy. Excellent book. I've started another, given to me by DH's grandmother, that's definitely a beach read. I think it's even called Summer By The Sea. By Susan Wiggs. Not my typical choice, but it's keeping me busy while DH watches E3 (video gaming conference) coverage all week! The one I bought is called I Am Forbidden, and it IS my typical kind of book, about Hasidic Judaism. Can't wait to start it!

Five months of non-fiction

Since finishing The Hunger Games trilogy, I haven't read any fiction except for a couple of The 39 Clues books that AJ is reading. That's since January, my friends, and that is a record for me, in lack of fiction.

It hasn't been entirely on purpose, but I have surprised myself by enjoying it. I'm not reading history books either, it's all been self-help-ish. I've wondered if this is the beginning of my mid-life crisis. Or, mid-life re-evaluation, or something.

I started this course, as I say, unintentionally, with Committed, by Liz Gilbert, only because I'd heard it's as good as Eat, Pray, Love. And you know, her stuff reads kind-of like a novel so it was a perfect segue. I'm still not through it completely but I do love her voice.

I got distracted, though, when we were having all of our stress. I believe I mentioned I had to pull Parenting with Love & Logic back off my shelf, to remind myself how to parent. (It's been going better, by the way. Mostly... KT's battle of choice these days has switched from bedtime to bathtime. We don't WANNNNNNNNNT to wash our hair, everEVER. Not with new fancy shampoo, not at the kitchen sink *just like a salon!*, not nowhere, no-how. SOMETIMES, if Daddy lets us dump water on HIS head, we will allow someone to then dump water on our head. But not always.)

I also discovered No Regrets Parenting, and have it on my Kindle. I was stopped in my tracks reading the author's tweets about how "the days are long, but the years are short." He sends this one out every few days: "Only 940 Saturdays from birth to age 18 -- if your kid is 5, you've used up 260 already. What are you doing this weekend??" AAAAACCCKKK. Gets me right in the heart. So I've not even read two chapters of his book; I'd like to, but I feel like I'm wasting PRECIOUS MOMENTS if I sit down with it.

And then, I've been dealing with the yuckiness that comes with a desk job a little bit, too. Specifically, not enjoying the desk job. Happens perennially. So I grabbed a book called Off Balance by Matthew Kelly. Its premise is this: "Work-Life Balance is a myth, and no one actually wants that, anyway." I love this idea. No one wants their work life and their personal life to be equal-time! Besides that, you only get ONE life, not two. What we all really WANT is Personal and Professional Satisfaction. If that means less time at work, then you have to work to make that happen. If you'll be more satisfied with more career success, then you'll have to sacrifice other things to GET that satisfaction. The book had a quiz, "How Satisfied Are You?", which I lapped up like a kitten to milk; true story -- I am "finding moderate levels of personal and professional satisfaction." This actually surprised me because, of course, I started reading the book in a time of what I thought were pretty cruddy levels of satisfaction. I'm only disappointed that it doesn't seem to have acute tips, like "Step 1, Step 2..." but I'm not finished with it yet.

Then, I've tweeted at least twice about how much I'm loving zenhabits.net. Mindfulness, how to be happy, how to live well.... all of that just seems to be feeding my soul right now. I'm learning a lot.

But I'm also ready for some great STORY to come along and indulge my literary needs. :)

Books for 2012

I want to do more intentional reading this year. I miss my Kindle. I bought The Hunger Games triology in hardback because they were clearly worth having/preserving. Although I finished them in about 3 weeks, that was right before the weekends of Christmas shopping and planning, and then celebrating. I picked up another book during the holidays (21: Bringing Down the House), and it's been good so far but I'm not quite into the thick of it yet. It's in paperback, besides... so, short story long, I haven't been on the Kindle in a long while. Not since Still Alice, I think, which was a great book but many months ago in my life!

So I've been thinking about the books I want to read in 2012. Of course the resolution I didn't write down but did actually think about -- and the one which is likely most important for having a good year -- is to grow closer to God and to nurture my faith. But the task of doing that on my own, just by adding a regular prayer-time to every day...? Probably not very realistic. (Definitely not very realistic.) Then I thought, "HEY, I could read an inspiring BOOK to help accomplish that end! Perfect!" Two birds, one stone, right?

And finally, the third reason is that my dear, darling Book Club has somehow not met for about 4 months now. This is the longest I think we've gone on a break, and yes, our kids are all older and busier now, and we know we'll get together again someday, but I think it's time to send out an email and see what the deal is! And get some book recommendations from that end!

So, here is a list of some books I'd like to read. I'm drawing some of these from the excellent lists I've seen around the blogosphere, like Lag Liv's, and Bessie V's, and Jennifer Fulwiler's! But please, feel free to chime in and suggest others!

The Girl Who Stopped Swimming, Joshilyn Jackson. I have loved her other books and it's wayyyyy past time for me to read this one. The title alone is completely intriguing and it's been in the back of my mind since before it was published.

Sharon Kay Pennman: Here Be Dragons Thank you, RRA and LagLiv! Historical fiction is my absolute favorite and I can't wait to try this author.

Committed, by Elizabeth Gilbert. I think I read Eat, Pray Love in 2011. It was fantastic. I have heard this one's even better.

Love in the Ruins: Walker Percy. This one came from Jennnifer's list of book recommendations from Catholic bloggers, hot off the press!

He Leadeth Me by Walter Ciszek. Jennifer recommends this one a lot and I think it sounds fascinating. Probably for Lent (as she suggests).

Golden Bones by Sichan Siv. The author is married to a high school friend of my Mom's, and this has been on my shelf a while. It's not my usual fare and I will likely need something to separate it from He Leadeth Me, as they're both about wrongfully imprisoned men. Might be a little much for one year but we'll see.

Bossypants, Tina Fey, since everyone else already read it. :)

Maybe something from Jodi Picoult, because it's been a while, and I have liked everything I've read of hers.


What else should I be reading?

Checkbook... Games

I did need to vent my frustrations last week, but I have since taken down the post about money. No need to dwell on the gory details, nor share them with the world. Plus, while Doing the Bills last night I got especially reflective and grateful. Every little penny that I was sending out convincted me, whether it was going to pay for the luxury of on-demand hot water, or the fun of 3-year-old ballet lessons, or the blessing of someone to come and take our garbage away every Friday. Even writing checks for medical expenses made me feel full with everything I need.


How does your household handle the bills? Does one person own the task or do you share it? We try to switch off, so that one person handles them one month, and then it's the other's turn. We pay most things online through our bank, but still write a check here or there and -- get this -- still keep a paper check register along WITH our Quicken file. I guess it makes us feel in control? Or gives us a backup in case of a computer apocalypse? It's a pain, really, but I can't imagine not keeping it. (My greatest challenge is to keep my handwriting neat enough that it can be read!) We both "turn in" our daily debit receipts to the central billing location, and then once a week the person who's managing bills that month sits down to enter everything in, and pay what's due. I think it's a good system because neither of us is in the dark, but I'm interested in hearing how other families do it. Last night I told myself I could have a glass of wine ONLY when I sat down at the computer. It worked. :)


In related news, do you think our generation will even get to retire? I have serious doubts.


Okay, moving on: The Hunger Games, people. Requisite disclaimer: I'm the last person on earth. But I can't believe how fast I read this book, and how the characters have infiltrated my mind. I find myself thinking "Katniss Everdeen" all the time -- just her name. It's so pretty, surprisingly so. All the names, really, intrigue me. And I picture her shooting something with her bow and arrow, and think of little Rue and how I imgined her... then yesterday Twitter was talking about the movie trailer, so I had to go watch it, and WOW. The mood is exactly how I've been feeling. Despondent, kind-of, that such Games could possibly exist (even just in the author's mind) and that the Capitol could DARE to wish those poor kids favorable odds. But utterly fascinated at the idea of Panem. It is CRAZY. I bought Catching Fire immediately.

My manager just stared at my screen for 5 full minutes

... we were in a different browser Tab, but this one was up, with its "BLOGGER: hello, self!" title glaring at us. So oh well, she probably knows where to find me now. Not that I mind -- hello, $h@n (just in case)! I've told her I keep a blog, but I've never actually handed her the URL.

Happy Friday, people! It's been an "off" week, with Halloween on Monday night, hasn't it? Or was that just me? I don't know, I've felt like I'm tripping over my feet every day, not really remembering AJ's homework assignments and which days they're due, not having my usual lunchtime errands for birthday parties or volunteer-school-activities, and being out Monday night made the rest of the 4 days seem unplanned. Or something. I've also been s...l...o...w...l...y getting sick, which has been ANNOYING. Monday night after the candy madness, I got a really weird case of the shivers. I did hang out in the 50-degree temperatures for 2 hours-ish passing out candy and trick or treating, but the shivers happened after we came in and I'd been under my blankie for another hour. When we went upstairs to bed, I got the shakes and could. not. stop. It made brushing my teeth difficult. My lips looked gray/blue in the mirror. After DH did his best to hug them out of me, I bundled up and got into bed, slept well and very warm. The same thing happened on Tuesday night, but not quite so dramatically; I was just cold. Wednesday I felt mostly better. Thursday (yesterday) I had a headache. And last night and this morning, my throat has been sporting that tell-tale, pinpoint place of sore, where it hurts to swallow. I'd rather just have an all-out SICK DAY and call it done. This dragggggging on is driving me crazy (mostly because I'm not sick enough to just REST, I still have to DO STUFF)!

Bleh. It SURE makes for an interesting blog post, doesn't it?! Don't answer that.

When I went shopping with KT a few weeks ago, I let her/us buy a little bag of peach gummy rings as a treat. You know, they're made by the Jelly Belly company, and are orange and white with a sugar coating? They're so delicious and artificial-peachy. I haven't been able to get the taste out of my mind since then. They KEEP popping up in my memory! I wouldn't say they're my favorite candy, either -- just one that made a particular impression on me that day, I guess. My FAVORITE fruity candy is probably Jolly Ranchers, which I rarely buy, followed by original Skittles and Charms Blow-Pops. At work, we recently discovered some hard candies by Crystal Light, so they're sugar-free. I approve of those, too. It's fun having different kinds of candy in the house this week, I have to say -- normally we only keep M&Ms on-hand (old habit from the potty-training days, I guess, and for emergency chocolate needs). But the candy buckets are disappearing after this weekend.

I finally read The Namesake by Jumpha Lahiri, that Sherry lent me about THREE years ago. (I'm done now, Sherry!) It was quite good. I enjoy books where the main characters grow from children into adults, and this book did that in such a way it made me think about my own life cycle, and that death is part of that, and it's okay, and life goes on, and all those deep things. It's about a family of American immigrants from India and of course the colorful culture made it that much more interesting, but I think the story was really about family relationships and the timespan was exactly my lifespan (so far) -- I had the feeling that the main character was 37, just like me, at the end of the book -- and I liked that. I also enjoyed that it had a lot to do with his name, and his nickname, because I think that's such an important aspect of people's identities. Apparently it's even moreso in Indian families. The only other feeling I had of the book was that it was slightly sad, or maybe just grey. I think this was the main character's mood the majority of the book, actually. So if you need a lift, this may not be the book for you, but if you want something interesting and life-mirroring, then I recommend it.

It's hard to review books, isn't it? I know Swistle always says, "I liked it, but I didn't like it, and I recommend it, but I also DON'T." I'm feeling that very same thing right now. Next on my list is THE HUNGER GAMES, hooray!! Perhaps I'll recover from this stupid cold this weekend, in my bed, reading.