Confessions and purchases

I think I've mentioned that my Thursday night choir practice has become... less than inspiring... since our director, John, resigned. We've had a substitute and she's very nice and plays the organ beautifully, but, at the risk of sounding like a diva soprano, she's not really teaching us anything. John had chosen music for us before he left, to cover every Sunday through Epiphany including all the Christmas Midnight Mass songs. It's all stuff we have done a million times before, and our rehearsals consist of running through these songs, over and over. I'd go into other details but it's boring and maybe whiny.

Last night, I decided that attending rehearsal is "no longer serving me," to borrow a phrase from the wellness and happiness-movement languages. Hush, you voices that say, "But music ministry is supposed to be about you serving them, not the other way around, Lee." I know. I'll serve on Sunday. I just don't think rehearsal is doing me any good. In fact, it makes me growly and tired. John would always challenge us vocally, to conserve the breath, to aim for the very pinpoint of the pitch, to use dynamics and phrasing to make something beautiful. I miss that. Even WITH that, though, sometimes choir practice was still the same old songs, and I've been in the group for 10-ish years now.

SO, last night I didn't let on to the kids or to Shawn, but I opted out and went shopping, by myself, instead. All year I've been remembering, then forgetting, that my black trouser socks have holes in the toes... or that my Am0ena bras, which I LOVE, are in fact, more than a few years old at this point... or that I've, ahem, gained a pound or two, and guess what, my sweaters don't fit as comfortably as they used to. (BTW, I saw this tip yesterday, for stretching out shrunken clothes. I wonder if it works?)

I went to Kohl's with my handy dandy credit card and their constant promise of percentages off -- everything's always on sale there, every day! -- and I bought stuff FOR ME. Well, first I bought stuff for Shawn -- he needed new basics, too. But then, I spent 30 minutes trying on a VARIETY of bras. I went back and forth from the fitting room, more than twice! Here are all the necessaries I bought: Bra, 4-pack underwear, 6-pack trouser socks, 1 pair of jeans, two sweaters, one tank top, one pair of running shoes (walking)... It was extravagant! At least to me.

Usually when I declare I'm going shopping, a lovely 8-year-old wants to come, and she is not so patient when Mommy wants to try things on for a half-hour. And somehow, we always end up in the Girls 6X-10 area, and by then I don't want to spend more money on me. So this wandering around, all on my own, was so unusual! Freedom! Craziness!

After Kohl's I still had plenty of time, so I popped into Ross next, and found a pair of black ankle boots for $22. Score. THEN, on a high, I took myself to Books-A-Million and JUST BROWSED, quietly, in the Fiction/Literature shelves (NOT THE KIDS' SECTION) for 20 full minutes! I was thirsty, so I bought a Sprite Zero. This made me laugh out loud. Such a TREAT! (And so ridiculous that it's a treat!) I came home feeling energetic, actually, like some burden had been lifted (the burden of remembering all the things I needed to buy? maybe).

Who knew socks and underwear could so inspire!?

P.S. Guess what else? Today, I skipped work for a 3.5-hour "lunch," to chaperone Kate's field trip to the Symphony! My manager's on an airplane back from Germany, she'll never know. TOTAL REBEL IN THE HOUSE, everybody WATCH OUT.