Well, it didn't go the way she wanted.
When she came out of the gym, her eyes were wet but almost convincingly bright, she was trying so hard to keep her emotions in check. The coach spoke to each girl individually, I guess, because she told Kate if she'd had 16 spots on the team instead of 12, there would have been room for her. Told her to improve her speed getting to the ball, and be louder. Kate said she didn't understand how girls who didn't perform as well as she did, got a spot at the callbacks. (Boy, did that one resonate with me -- I watched SO many theatre auditions go that same way, where the girls who could only kind-of sing got the big roles and I was always, always relegated to the chorus even when I knew my voice was clearer, more on-pitch. Maybe not as loud, but definitely prettier. Sorry not sorry, it was true.)
Anyway, it's a crappy lesson to have to learn, but I guess we all have to learn it somehow. You can't always get what you want.
I'm proud of her for trying, for fighting her nerves and going for it, and for coming out the other side okay, despite the negative outcome. I talked to her (texted her) about going back next year -- the coach encouraged her to -- and how that would show character and persistence. And I bet a lot of the girls who made it this year were rising sophomores who didn't make it last year but came back. It isn't like marching band, where they can take basically an unlimited number of people -- there are only so many spots. And she asked, "How can I get better over the summer?" which makes me the most proud. The club she played with this spring offers some summer day camps which she can go to, and I bet they offer other things throughout the fall, too. And of course there's next spring's club season.
She's most disappointed, I think, because she had set her heart on this being her "identity" in high school. And that's a really big thing to have to let go of, for now. She probably doesn't even realize that's what hurts. But God's got another plan for her and we'll just have to wait to find out what that is.
Tough thing to parent a kid through, that's for sure. Do not recommend, zero stars.
2 comments:
Oh no. That is so heartrending. Especially as you point out that it's more of an identity shift than just disappointment about this one team. Sounds like she is dealing with it in such a mature way, though.
So sorry you both have to deal with this. I so want everything to be easy and perfect for Madison. Seriously, I would just hand her the world on a plate if I could. But I do know that's not the road to happiness and peace. But I don't care -- I want it for her anyway!
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