Thanksgiving

I don't owe anyone any explanations, and most everyone reading here already knows this, but it's been a long time and here's where I've been: Shawn's mom passed away. It was sudden, very unexpected. So we've been to Savannah and back again, had Thanksgiving at home, and are going back to Savannah this weekend for the funeral (one thing I appreciate about the pandemic is that it made postponing those kinds of things acceptable). 

It is, of course, still hard to believe she's gone. She was only 76 and we thought in fairly good health. She was certainly still active enough. Last night when I was dishing up bowls of turkey gumbo for our dinner, I had the feeling she should be calling. She always called at dinnertime. We're reminded once again that life is so short, and we never know when our time will come. 

We had a quiet Thanksgiving at home. Alex was here from Tuesday - Friday (he had to go back to play with the marching band on Saturday) and I was proud of myself for getting the meal all ready on time. My tribute to Susan was that I made her dinner rolls ("yeast rolls" on my yellowed recipe card). It was my first time doing that by myself; I had helped her once or twice by rolling them out and buttering/folding over, but I'd never made the dough. I think I need to work on it for the future, but they were edible. I also borrowed -- well, I guess I don't have to give it back -- her Bundt pan and made this pumpkin spice cake, which was delicious and, in my opinion, cake is more enjoyable than pumpkin pie. 

For myself, I'm feeling some grief-like ...uncertainty is the word, I guess. Just like everything is hovering slightly above ground; like gravity doesn't fully work right now. Like I don't really have a handle on our calendar or the day-to-day things, even though I probably do. I wonder when it will all settle? An out-of-town coworker made me teary on Zoom today when she offered to mention Susan in her rosary prayer group tomorrow. What a gift to have people praying for you and your loved ones, and their souls. What a gift it was to know my mother in law. I'm thankful.