That's "Closer" with a soft "s", not like the Kyra Sedgwick fake-southern-accent show on TNT.
Close-er. Our vacation is closer. (Aaaand so is the oil. Perfect.)
I am feeling a bit better than yesterday, however. A night of wine with the girls helped quite a lot. We laughed and laughed. KT's excitement also helps. When her Daddy got home last night, he asked her, "KT, what are we going to do tonight while Mommy's at Book Club?"
She answered, "Go doo-dah Beeeeeeeeech!" She keeps wanting to look at our photo albums, and when she spots a picture from a vacation past, she says, "I going a dat beach? I do dat Sad-uh-dayyy?" She especially likes the sand castle pictures. I hope the sand will be castle-worthy and not tarred all to hell. Oh, it makes me sad to think that. My uncle loves shore-fishing in the EARLY morning -- that's basically why he goes to the beach every year -- and I worry he won't be able to do that this year. Who knows.
I had a come-to-Jesus with myself after (wine and) Book Club, while driving home. Unintentionally. Windows down, radio blasting. I don't even remember what song it was, now, although I will admit that I LISTEN TO DELILAH sometimes when I'm by myself in the car at night. Yes, I do. "SO NOW I COME TO YOOOOOOOU, WITH OHHHHH-PEN AH-ARMS...." She always plays that one for somebody. Anyway, my moment was one of deep gratitude. I've spent the last couple of days (...years??) feeling ennui and bleh, but my GOSH, the GIFTS that sit in front of me every single day -- a delightful husband who partners with me, giving more than he gets, a delicious growing boy and a beautiful little girl, a home, warmth, comfort, parents and in-laws who are so good to me, even a friend here and there... the weight of it, the lump in my throat was very heavy with the thought that I sometimes think all that isn't good enough. I had to put my hand on my chest to hold it all there, to my heart. It is MORE than enough. To squander it by ever, EVER wishing for something else is complete mockery. Unacceptable.
Quite a moment.
3 comments:
Wow. Good moment. I'm jealous of your beach vacation, I'll admit it. If we go anywhere this year it will to Oklahoma City because it is within Husband's 3 hour range for car trips. But that is a big if right now anyway. Still, yes, blessed beyond measure and working on being more grateful.
I listen to "How He Loves" by David Crowder Band about ten times a day to keep that gratitude front and center.
Ooh, I'll have to listen for that one. Yeah, a lot of songs lately have been getting to me.
The version on the album called Church Music is my favorite one. Soooo gooood.
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