We all have Mommy guilt; that's an established fact. When we don't serve our special snowflakes 100% All-Organic Juice, perhaps, or we don't schedule them for fourteen different activities during the summer like their obviously Harvard-bound peers, or we do make them clean their plates at dinnertime (the horror!). But I have another kind of guilt and lately it's been worse than Mom-guilt.
Mowing guilt.
Folks, I have a confession. I have never once mowed our yard. Never. Once. My poor, dear husband suffers yearly when the summer heat and humidity begin -- and even when it's a comfortable seventy degrees, he suffers up and down the hilly, sinkhole and rabbit-hole danger zone that is our giant yard. He bought the lawnmower, he uses the lawnmower... he hates the lawnmower.
And I don't help.
Obviously, it's a very dated picture of domestic life -- she cooks and takes care of the children, and he does the heavy yard labor. For that I feel badly, even though I hardly call myself a staunch feminist. I think in other areas, we do things mostly evenly. We both changed diapers. We both give baths. We both manage the money. We both MAKE the money. We both clean toilets. (Actually, if I'm to be fair, he does a lot more of the cleaning (vacuuming) than I do.) But I just can't bring myself to mow the grass.
Because It's HOTTTTTTTTT! Proper Southern ladies are simply not meant to sweat as much as it would require for me to tackle that task (did I tell you I was once a Debutante?)... No. No amount of iced tea could make up for it. And.... it's a big MACHIIIIIIINE! I'm slightly scared of it, I have to admit. I could cut off a foot! It's a dirty job, and, unfortunately, DH has to do it. That's just the way it is. I would say he knew this going in to the marriage... but he probably didn't, since we didn't have a lawn before we were married. Whoops.
My mother, I will have you know, has never mowed grass, either.
I suppose the obvious solution would be for us, a 2-income family, to Pay Someone Else to do it. The one time I tried that, it was an EPIC FAIL. I should have known, employing a pre-teen. Any future hire would have to be a professional service, and I feel like I've suggested it before, but... economy and unnecessary expenditures blah blah blah.
So. Guilt. Maybe it balances out slightly because I agree to play unlimited games of CandyLand with the kids while he does it?
(Do you ladies mow? I'm not sure I want you to answer that.)
8 comments:
My husband usually does all the mowing. We have a hilly yard, so half of it is mown with a riding mower (we borrow my mom's who lives next door) and half is mown with push mower. It is pretty darn steep, so kinda dangerous. I get fed up sometimes when he hasn't mown it in the timely fashion I would like (he's not the perfectionist your husband is), so I go get the riding mower and at least start the job. I don't ever attempt the pushing part though.
Don't feel guilty. I would bet that it is a source of pride for him to be the mower of the family.
Laura
I do NOT mow, nor am I at all INTERESTED in mowing. I cannot STAND outdoor yard work, in general.
But, I don't feel bad because I do most of the indoor housework.
I release you from any feelings of guilt. I never want you to have to do that as long as I'm able. If the yard were flat and smaller, maybe...but, for now I got it.
Awww, your DH is the best.
I have never mowed a yard in my life. I don't feel guilt about it. Husband and I do share most of the other duties in the house (he mops way more than me) too. I think Travis is okay with me not doing it. I would probably do it wrong. He also mows a few other yards, either for money or as a service (we exchange babysitting with a single mom). And the Candyland is way worse and I bet your Husband would agree.
I don't mow or take out the trash. My daughter mowed when she lived here, but not me. Every now again I say, "hmmm, maybe I should" but don't. I have no guilt.
I do take out the trash if I home alone though.
I was the lawn mower (har har) for years. In the last year, D has taken it on. I am thrilled. Thrilled. He can do it for the rest of our lives. I have plenty to do. It makes him feel good. Our lawn looks great. (I'm into fast. D is into careful.) D also takes out the trash. Hurray for tradition!
Your DH is a good dude! I am like you - I DO NOT MOW. I am also sort of afraid of it, even though I shouldn't be. I don't mind push-mowing a section, but the rider? Forget about it. Not happening.
(Of course, this is moot at the moment since we're in an apartment for now, but still. When we had a yard? NOPE.)
We're also pretty evenly matched otherwise, so I'm not sure why I have this one weirdness.
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