Today the actual, scheduled yoga instructor led our class, and it was the best one yet (for me). It was no-nonsense, poses I knew, I felt more comfortable, yet still verrrry challenged, and the AC was on before class started so I didn't get as steamed up. Apparently the enjoyment of yoga for me depends very much on the temperature. But I was able to concentrate, stretch, do more push-ups than usual really relax in Savasana (or Shavasana? The internet spells it both ways), and there are poses I want to attempt/work on this week (for my own memory: fallen triangle, crane and side crane, and flipped Down Dog), so that next week I can attempt them in front of people.
The biggest challenge, really, is letting go of comparison to other people. It's a huge mental block if you let it linger. And you'll fall over faster if you don't focus on YOU. A little contrary to the Jesus-Others-You mentality that we're all told is correct (and it is), but on the mat, you just have to be in your own space, and do you own thing. That's why I've liked doing yoga in my own bedroom for all these years - it's impossible to compare yourself to others when there are no others there! But again, challenge is good when we do it gently and with kindness (the instructor said that today).
I was also glad there was no crying. :) But at the risk of getting totally touchy-feely on you, I am learning that you take what you need from yoga, and you GET what you need. Last week, I needed forgiveness. For me, for sassy last-week Kate, for being gentle as I was nervous and learning. This week, I needed a good stretch of my glutes, and to feel empowered, like I can DO THIS. And that's what I got.
Next week, I'm so excited, my friend Ashley asked to join me. Even though she and I have been friends for more than 4 years now, I still feel unusually happy when she asks me to do things, or acts like she "likes me." How silly is that? I have a friend. It's still surprising. I don't mean it in a pity-me way, just in a how-cool-that-this-has-worked-out way. :)
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This girl I met last year was talking to someone outside of school as we rushed by in the morning (almost late as usual), and she said to the person she was talking with, "She and I are friends." I glowed.
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