Not my usual "On Working" (I promise)

Yesterday was such a productive day at work. I want to be even more enthusiastic than that, because I really felt strangely good about it, but "productive" is the basic gist. I don't know if it was just the deadlines and "past dues" that motivated me, or that my manager was out of the office -- I know both helped -- or that the weather was just so dreary and I didn't want to go out. But whatever it was, it worked. I sat down at my usual time, around 7:45, and I remember getting up a couple of times to use the restroom and grab my salad from the kitchen, but otherwise, when it was 4:30 and time to go, I felt like a) I'd just started AND b) I am the Master of Everything!

So weird.

I haven't been in that flow for so long. Writing lately has been a real slog, and all the other details - the spreadsheets, the forms, the emails, the "extra" "helping" tasks haven't been fun either. Yesterday all of it was do-able, and conquered. Of course today I've got nothing. I mean, I did come up with some "starter" content ideas for our next magazine issue, and with the collaboration of my team, we worked those ideas into some semblance of a pretty damn good issue.... but otherwise, nothing. ;)

I don't know -- when I write well for work, does that mean I'm doing what I'm SUPPOSED to be doing? Am I "called" to this? Or is it dumb luck, or am I just a good enough writer, who's been with the company long enough that I know their rules and what will make the superiors of the day happy? Hard to say.

My friend Judith, at church, thinks I should quit my job and launch a career as a singer. She means, singing for church weddings and giving voice lessons. She is convinced that all I need is a website (and adorably says her [no offense but 60-something-yr-old] husband can help me with that). (Thank you anyway.) I try to be polite. I've thought of that before, naturally, as something that would be pretty fun to do -- except that I'd end up working on Saturdays, and guess what? Kids are OUT of school on Saturdays. Not ideal. Yes, I'd be more available to volunteer at school on weekdays, and would be available to drive them to and from school at the appointed times, no Aftercare, but it still just doesn't wash. I'd have to spend a year first, learning how to play the piano again. (Dummy, should never have quit.) And even if I did a wedding every weekend, that's only about $800 a month. And even if I supplemented that with lessons, let's see... $25/hour, probably I could only do 2 lessons every weekday.... (because my own kids have lessons and stuff to attend...) carry the 2.... it's still only half of what I bring home now, never mind taxes. I am grateful to her for wanting me to be happier with my work. She says she's been praying for me. I'll have to tell her about this week's excellent writing experience -- maybe her prayers (and mine) were answered in a different way. She always sees me at Thursday night rehearsals, when I am near the end of my weekly rope of "getting it all done." She should know that it's sometimes really GOOD.