She's doing better.
She really really wants to be free of her ... what's the word? Fears? Limits? Sleep Problems? I'm not sure. (In case I haven't ever defined it here, the problem has been that she needed someone to stay in her room until she was asleep. Shawn and I have been known to stay in there for 30+ minutes which has been... not ideal.) But she wants to, and she's working hard on it, and I'm really proud of her.
Starting at the beginning of this summer, we've had much better nights. She went to camp for 2 weeks, of course, in a room with 6 other people. Those nights were comfortable for her, even though she was away from home. When she first came back, she wanted to stay up really late every night, but because I have to work every morning, and have to get to bed on time (particularly when I was on the WLC), we agreed she would go to bed by 9:45/10.
That was fine. The real boost came when she stayed in Pensacola in late June. Mom would agree to sit with her for a few minutes, but not long. She'd leave with the promise to check on Kate in a few minutes. And we have managed to carry that same tactic over, and are now successfully doing it at home. I sit in her chair for 5 minutes (7 minutes, tops) -- no back rubbing, no begging me to stay. I leave, tell her I love her and will check on her. She says, "OK, I'll try." But she doesn't get back up, she doesn't whine for me to stay. She does try. Something has switched on for her, that she's okay to fall asleep.
Most nights I do check on her, and she's asleep. Some nights I don't. A few times, she has come into our room and slept on the floor, after hearing a weird noise or a dog barking outside her window. She gets set up on her own and is usually very apologetic about it. Breaks my heart a little bit. I don't engage much with her unless she's being really apologetic. I want her to know it's okay. She sleeps fine on the floor.
We're doing better. (Also, thanks so much, Mom.)
(please no jinxies)
4 comments:
Sleep issues. I have to comment. I have this daughter who can't fall asleep, sometimes for hours. Too much to say to say it quickly, and I only have a minute. But I never know -- does she need more help with anxiety, is it okay to give her 1 mg of melatonin regularly, do I wake her up the next morning so her schedule won't be way off the next day? I'd rather not worry about it at all -- let her stay up until all hours and sleep until whenever -- but I don't think that's best. She seems to do best if she's only getting about 9 hours a night, because then she's really tired and able to fall asleep, but I don't really think that's quite enough for her. Will probably have to do during this coming school year, though, just like last year.
It's never easy, is it? Once I used Calm.com's "Sleep Stories" with Alex when he was having a hard time. He did fall asleep that night... haven't ever used them again but maybe is that something that would help M? I wonder.
I started reading Little House on the Prairie to her last night (not her fave -- which I think is good)! And I started waking her up in the morning the last two mornings. We've had a good two nights in a row! :) And I've decided no melatonin, at least for now -- just too scary and I think maybe your body gets used to it. And that's my sleep update.
Madison's summer -- besides the three camps and the one online course -- has been one of playdates. It's awesome -- I've gotten so much work done this summer, and she gets to play with friends! I know I'm lucky. If we were neighbors, we'd both have our summers solved -- Kate could play here!
I bet you're right - Little House is juuuuust "soothing" (boring?) enough. ;)
Glad it's going well w/o melatonin NO JINXIES!!
If we were neighbors. Ahhh, wouldn't that be lovely!
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