There's no good way to catch you up on everything from the past year+, but I've come to another milestone and feel like I need to nod to it in some way. This past Sunday, we dropped off (baby) Kate at college.
I know, right? Momentous. We are now officially empty-nesters, because the week prior, our college-grad Alex packed up his car, and his girlfriend's car, and a moving Pod on a truck, and drove west for 3 days straight, landing them in California where he will start a job -- in his field, no less -- on August 17.
I just feel like it deserves a full stop.
Just... in a week's time, they're both gone.
The whole summer in preparation for these things has felt big and ominous -- you might say stressful (!) -- and yet, here I am, on a Wednesday, on my laptop as usual at the kitchen table. The anticipation was worse, I guess, than the actual things. (Not to discount the special misery that was moving Kate in: A 95-degree day in Georgia, a 2:45pm move-in time, the absolute PEAK of the day's temperature and not a cloud in sight, struggling to heft alllll of her stuff up the significant hill to the dorm entrance... Not a lot of fun.)
But it's a whole different chapter, isn't it? I'm trying to be gentle about it, and to keep acknowledging it, and giving us, in my mind, the credit we do deserve for the work we did to get here. I suppose this whole blog acknowledges that work. It's hard to believe the "kids" phase is really done. They're not kids! I mean, sure, Kate is 18 and still needs us -- even I need my own parents, still! -- but you know what I mean. Kids at home.
I haven't been super sad or lonely yet, although it is odd to lock the front door and leave it that way, with no one coming through it, or parking in the driveway, anytime soon. I have enjoyed the extra time to myself on the weekday mornings -- have managed to do a 10- or 20-minute workout all three mornings so far, in fact, and I'm grateful to have that time back! And I think Shawn and I will figure out our "new life" pretty quickly, which I look forward to.
Of course, they'll be back; Kate particularly, on her school breaks, though we know we won't see as much of her as we did of Alex during his college years. She's so social (going through sorority rush right now, in fact) and if her first time being independent is anything like mine was, she will be happy and busy and may have to be reminded to go home for Thanksgiving, honestly!
But as I sit here watching the bluebirds (my favorites!) come to my bird bath to cool off, I'm anticipating this fall as a very cozy me-season. Time to think, and maybe write, and find other things I love doing. I'm optimistic. (A little bewildered. But optimistic.)
6 comments:
Oh WOW! Empty nest! I hope that the optimism and calm of those first days has stayed with you. I agree that anticipation can sometimes be much worse than the actual thing. Which is not to say that it would be out of the realm of possibility to feel lonely or bereft or at loose ends now and again. It's a BIG CHANGE! I am also optimistic, though, and I hope you find a lot of new peace and joy in this new phase. xxoo
Hey, hey! SO GOOD to hear your voice, processing this change. We just dropped Madison off for year 2, of course, and I am still bewildered (great word). We had a summer with her home, which I didn't expect, and it was truly grand. I fully appreciated everything I'd taken for granted. I feel even closer to her than before, weirdly, but I am less sad this year for sure. I guess I feel more certain that I'm not losing her. She's just away! ... The extra time in this empty nest is a gift. Of course I'd rather be making her big meals (that's my thing -- when she's home -- big meal every night), but the freedom to do the work/hobbies I need/want to do on a flexible schedule is very nice. Hope you'll continue to publish occasionally, my friend!
"At loose ends" is a great way to put it!
Remind me where Madison landed for school? I LOVE hearing about your relationship growing, even while (and maybe because) she's away some of the time. I envision that, too. Have seen little lovely glimpses of maturity in K, particularly, and I'm excited to explore a new phase of motherhood with these adult-ish people! I love your big meals initiative. I suspect I'll do a little of that, too.
Madison is at Furman, near Greenville, SC. She applied to three big-time schools -- Columbia, Vanderbilt, Johns Hopkins -- and Furman -- and only got into Furman. We learned a lot that year about college admissions, or rather, learned that we didn't know a lot. But guess what? It turned out that she and I might have been miserable if she'd been so far away, not to mention what her anxiety might have been like, being in such competitive places, and finally not to mention our finances! This is truly an instance where I think we didn't know best, and the best thing happened. I think she's happy to be putting that part of her story behind her! ... But yes, it is so lovely to see Madison ... I guess I think I see her caring more about more important things and less about less important things! Not that I'm some great guru!
Oh, Furman is (I'm told) a great place. And I love that the Fates put her right where she needed to be. Seems just far enough away, but not too far. <3
Post a Comment