"I'm guilty of it too, absolutely. It is true that I feel confident in my relationship with my daughter, but I am not without my moments of self-doubt. More than one time I have looked at another mother and felt relieved that she was not measuring up in some way, because it took the (self-inflicted) pressure off me."
Oh, Yes. Amen, sister. There's one particular mom at our daycare, Amy, who works for a large red soda company based here in Atlanta, and whose son is in AJ's class. She's never been anything but nice to me and yet, I have this mental block about her. Like maybe she's doing things better than I am. Or maybe she makes more money than I do and therefore fancies herself better than me. I know from AJ's teachers that her kid often gets in trouble and sometimes it secretly relieves me. I don't know where these thoughts come from, but I'm taking Arwen's wise advice and putting a stop to them today. I know in my heart that she has the same struggles as I do. The same hurt when she can't pick her boy up as early as she'd like to. The same sadness when he's sick or badly behaved. The same tired wish for him to LISTEN to her, and for him to grow up happy. Anyway, Amy, wherever you are today (probably on the connector right now, wishing traffic weren't such a PITA), I'm thinking of you in SOLIDARITY and FRIENDSHIP. :)
And for my own mother, who's headed off to visit Croatia (!!! brave woman, goodhearted wife !!!) this weekend, I wish a very happy Mother's Day. Because you, as I've always said, have given me such a gift in yourself. I'm blessed and lucky that you chose to be my Mom. :) ...Also because your Hallmark cards may not arrive before you leave the country. From one mom to another, I'm sure you understand.
3 comments:
Awww. You're sweet. You make me all teary, in the best way.
Wow isn't that true. I completely admit to feeling relieved when I see some mom who think has it all together deal with an unruly child or freak out a little in public. I know I have my moments when I feel like scotch tape is the only thing holding it all together and it could break at any point.
I feel like it's the great equalizer y'know? Like no matter how together you've got things, when it comes to kids we're all just figuring it out and dealing with new things all the time.
Great post and Happy Mom's day to you!
I love this post and have been thinking of what to comment on.
I often find myself seeing/hearing about/reading about other mom's and their "mommyness" and wonder what is wrong with me that I dont have this desire to be 100% mom all the time. I love my child completely but there is just some part of me that I am not all "motherly" most of the time. And I wonder is somehow this is bad for Collin???
I guess it just helps to know that no matter what kind of mom we all are we still all need to get thru each day and somehow remember we are not alone.
I hope you have a great Mothers Day -- especially since this is your first one with a daughter!!! KT has a great role model in you :)
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