I am so over our bank account feeling pinched.
I am so over both of us working so hard, every day, but never feeling like we are getting or will get ahead.
I am so over both of us doing jobs we don't love, for pay we don't love, and feeling like there's no real way out of that.
I am so over hating the clothes I have, but feeling like I just don't have any extra to spend on something new.
I am so over having a long list of new things I actually NEED, but won't buy: bras, workout clothes, pretty work clothes, underwear, good athletic shoes.
I am so over Marshall's, Target, and Ross.
I am so over my savings accounts losing money with this crappy market, even for mutual funds, and even for IRAs and long-term investments which you're not supposed to worry about because "eventually they'll bounce back."
I am so over my Publix not ever having the brand and size of formula that I buy.
I am so over myself thinking, "Self, if you were nursing you wouldn't have that problem, and besides, nursing is FREE."
I am so over my just-married sister-in-law, age 20-something, saying that when she has a baby she wants to stay home with it or she'll "just murder someone." The hell? Also: get over yourself and enjoy those mortgage payments; hope it works out for ya. Also: saying that to me feels a little like a slap in the face, like my lifestyle isn't good enough for you.
I am so over wanting to stay at home. Or doing that math loop where I work part-time so we'd save on gas and "business clothing" (HAR) but still be paying SOME daycare and Catholic school, and therefore, it equals a zero benefit.
I am so over wishing to win the lottery, when I DON'T EVEN PLAY THE DAMN LOTTERY.
14 comments:
Wow this sounds a lot like the dialog running through my head, especially on a Sunday night.
Every time I get into one of those moods that just sort of stews for a couple of days, something comes along and pops me out of it.
Hope some good news comes your way.
Oh dear! I so agree! Also, the last one is funny.
I could have written most of this exactly as you did. I have that talk with myself all the time and I often wonder how people we know are making it by with one parent staying at home when we know darn well we make twice as much money combined as one of them yet we are always dressed in old clothing/shoes, etc.
Also, the whole market tanking is just killing our investments, savings and that just sucks.
I love the last one too - I often say that about the lottery ;)
Oh man. SO MANY people are feeling like this right now! It's not just you!
Fun fact about me! I don't even OPEN my 401(k) statements. I don't wanna know. Talk to me in 30 years.
I hear you in every way. When I was pregnant with Wallace and having prodromal labor and was at work at 38 and a half weeks and miserable, my mother expressed admiration that I "stuck with it".
Then she told me about how, when she was five months along with me, she just up and quit her job and said she was staying home.
This boggled me to a degree that I cannot even describe to you. "Honey, remember the money I used to make? The one that's almost half our monthly income? Yeah, well, we won't be having that any more. Have a great day at work!!"
Meanwhile, we have plenty of money and still manage to feel poor. We pay all our bills on time, none of us is in raggedy clothing, we purchase all the medications we need when we need them. Milk with every meal, even!
Yet I get stroppy when I can't buy the dress I want. I want my parent's wealth, which of course they split and remarried to achieve as well as are 20+ years later in their careers than I am.
I'm sorry it feels like there's never enough. Go out today and get fancy underpants and bras. It will make a big difference. You may not be able to afford all the stuff you want, but dammit, you can get one or two things without breaking the bank.
Just skip your next glass of milk. ;-)
**hugs** feeling the same way over here except for the fact that I stay home and have the guilt of not providing an income ...
sorry about the SIL, seriously
love the last one too
Love this post. Sorry, but I just feel your pain. On the way to work this morning, I'm day-dreaming about staying at home, getting to be the one who gets M out of bed, teaching her things throughout the day ... or working 30 hours a week -- yeah, that would be great ... . And thank you so much, Mom, but what if I could buy my own clothes ... . And how does D think we're going to afford school? It's a taboo subject right now. I guess he thinks it will work out, as our finances have always just "worked out." (They don't just "work out." We scrimp and penny-pinch and never vacation and drive old cars and ...) So D is probably right -- we'll make it work. I know I'm lucky for what I have. Very lucky. I just can't think too much. And I'm another one who never opens the 401k statements. Oh, and women who work and don't use any formula are, well, not me. I guess we are all so different -- I mean physically, not mentally. Yes, I pumped at work, but it was a PITA. Maybe not even worth the mental anguish. And we used a LOT of formula, even with all that effort. And, I'm sorry to any 20-something readers, but they just don't know much about much of anything. And they don't know they don't know. I was the same way, I'm sure. But it's hard to swallow when they are proselytizing. That's a little harsh, I'm sure. Many 20-somethings have been through a lot. But most 30- and 40-somethings have been through a lot more.
Yes. Even as I was typing this last night, fast, emotional typing, I knew that the thing is: we DO have enough. We, too, pay bills on time and don't have to wait for the paycheck before we go grocery shopping. I don't get WHY it feels like not enough, sometimes it just does.
Thanks, ALL of you, for understanding.
First of all, can I be first to kick SIL in the shin???
Second of of all, its like we have mind meld or something. I wrote from the "other side of the fence" last night. Unlike you, however, mine sounded whiny and pathetic.
I would guess that you feel this way because you and yours are RESPONSIBLE with your income and plan for the future and emergencies. SO SO SO MANY people DON'T!
Lastly, I agree with skiplovey...treat yourself to one nice thing. The one that would give you the most joy. Like dieting, you'll feel less deprived and frustrated.
Love you!
P.S> - Catholic school tuition?? Thy name is misery! (yet, non-negotiable for us)
Ihave to clarify that I do really, really like my new sis-in-law. a lot. i think we're going to be good for each other thru the years. But that one comment made me think, Rrrrr.
Well, I don't work, so I can't share those thoughts. I can relate to the pinch though. And trying to be responsible and make good money choices and ignoring the temptation to do otherwise. Hope things look better soon.
I did not nurse when I was working. Pumping did not work for me, physically or mentally.
You are not alone! Ditto to what everyone else has said about the same thoughts running around in my head. Totally agree with you on the last one and I don't play the lottery either.
Yes. I feel like this EVERY DAY.
Except, of course, today I actually DID buy a lottery ticket ...
Are you reading my mind?
As for your SIL, try to remember that she hasn't had a baby yet and has NO IDEA how expensive they are. I can remember saying some extremely uninformed things to my SIL before I had my kids. If that doesn't work, just haul off and hit her next time. ;)
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