--Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
My 2015 wishes, besides remembering that God is good and I am loved? To read a little more. To pray a little more. To plan a few more fun family things. To walk, run and stretch a little more. To take more time off. To find more meaning in my work, somehow. To be who I am.I did read more! And I kept track of what I read via Pinterest, which is fun. It's showing 19 books for 2015, and I've started the 20th, which is Moby Dick, which I've never read! I like it so far. I'm reading it because I want to re-read Ahab's Wife in 2016. I also prayed more, I think, although that can always use more improvement. Fun family things...? Well, we're working on it. We didn't take any grand trips like we still want to, but I did take the kids away for Spring Break, which was fun. I succeeded in stretching a little more - but just a little - and walked, but again, just a little. I love my little midday walks at work. 10 minutes or so, outside. And yoga in the morning here. Good for the soul. I did take more time off, if just by virtue of the fact I had more to take (work anniversary earned me another week). Did I find more meaning in my work? No. It was a hard year for work. Maybe more on that later (maybe not). Being who I am? I definitely tried.
So: Good Job, Me! Resolutions were mostly successful! Happier, fatter, richer, overall. A Win.
More resolutions? Certainly. I like 'em. After the review.
--What did you do in 2015 that you’d never done before?
I had a crown put on one of my teeth! Haha! Don't recommend it. I'm still having a little bit of jaw pain even though I got a stupid, stupid night guard. (I haven't worn it every night as prescribed.) I sang solo (a wedding) in a beautiful big church without a microphone, like a real professional, with a symphony violinist! That was awesome. I drove 2 kids to Florida by myself. I hosted a slumber party with six- and seven-year-old girls OMG. Sent a kid off to middle school (we love middle school so far)! Then joined the Middle School Dance committee with my two best school-mom friends. I felt, and feel, totally secure in calling them best friends. I probably did some other new things, too. It's hard to remember everything! In all, it was a pretty great year. I am loved and have a family I adore.
--What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Tough one, because I feel like I'm not really in an "achieving" stage of my life (and the things I do at work don't really get touted as achievements, more on that later). Still, one thing I was proud of: Planning/managing a lot of different summer activities and camps for the kids. (Which it is nearly time to do, again, for 2016.)
--What was your biggest failure?
The kale chips I tried to make 2 days ago. Ha ha, not really, but they did turn out badly and smelled up the house. Too bad, I had high hopes for kale chips.
As always, I don't like to say "failure," because we're all, always, just doing the best we can. I try to be gentle with myself. But I've been monumentally unhappy at work, and have failed to do anything about it. Well, that's not fully true... I have tried "positive thinking" and "fake it 'til you make it" and sunshine-y, Oh, well, I can't complain, let's just laugh about how stupid this all is... and I did apply for one awesome-sounding job in June. I didn't get it, obviously - didn't even get called for an interview after what I thought was an excellent application (13 big essay questions, seriously). That somewhat deflated me. Haven't seen anything interesting since, that I think I'm qualified for, and fits my requirements (close to home or remote, minimal travel). My professional confidence has taken a major blow, not from that one application but from the past year's changes, where my job got whisked out from under me without my asking, communication got worse and worse again, I continually got dumped on (i.e., asked to "step in" where other people failed/left), and the leaders and personalities at my workplace continue to disappoint. I feel pretty damaged, actually. Unsure of myself, unsure what I want, unsure how to take the next step. I have tried not to talk about it so much in real life anymore, though I do come here and whine, for 2 reasons: one, it's negativity and I don't need that to be a major part of my days, and two, well, because I don't want to continue burdening others with it. I'll leave it at that for now.
--How did you spend Christmas?
We had a busy Christmas Eve, what with Kate singing at 4:00 in the Children's Choir and me singing at midnight with the adult choir! So we got to church at 2:45 and barely got a seat for 4:00 Mass, then went out to dinner at Bahama Breeze, which was nice and cozy on a rainy night. Christmas morning the kids woke us up at 6:30 and didn't even feel bad about it, and we did Santa (unwrapped). My one oops there was that I didn't have a single thing for Shawn's stocking. I'm sorry, honey! I got an outdoor fireplace! so exciting, and it was a giant present "under" our tree. Behind it, actually. Around 10 am, we were loaded up in the car to drive to Savannah. "To Grandmother's house we go!" We spent Friday night and Saturday there, enjoyed seeing 3-year-old Hailey, ate our turkey and ham, couldn't believe it was 79 degrees outside, and came home Sunday morning. Short and sweet. Shawn and I juggled days off this year but had enough to cover all the kids' vacation days.
--What were your favorite books of the year?
The Timebound/Chronos series, Wonder, and The Book Thief, for sure. Wonder, above all of those.
--What was your favorite music from this year?
It's fun listening to the kids' music. I liked Uptown Funk the most.
--What were your favorite films of the year?
Uh, DUH, Star Wars: The FORCE AWAKENS. Just saw it last night. I have so much to say about it. I started crying when "A long time ago...." appeared on the screen. Kids liked it, too. We also enjoyed Ant Man as a family, and I loved, loved, loved Cinderella (but that might have been 2014).
--What valuable life lesson did you learn in 2015?
Well. I learned, I guess, that things change all the time, and to just get used to it, and not be attached to the way things are. I learned to not be "precious" about anything I write. I love that. Posted it on my cubicle wall, I love/need it so much. I learned that everyone has a different perspective on the situation. I learned again that happiness and gentleness is a choice, and I can try every day to make it my story. (I still have so much to learn.)
-- And so, resolutions for 2016?
I have several. One, I obviously want to do something about work. It's going to have to be something risky I guess, or at least uncomfortable like using a headhunter or actually networking again, in person. I feel like that is going to take some courage-building, so it might not happen immediately, and I need to be OK with that. I feel fairly certain that others in my department will be doing the same, but that does not mean I need to be "first." I want to keep that perspective. Because of course, this job pays our bills and serves me well in a few areas, like being able to leave work at work, etc. I don't have to rush. It's just a job. But nothing will happen unless I MAKE IT happen.
Two, and Shawn and I have discussed, we're trying to lower the sugar/carb intake at our house. Kale chips and I may not have become fast friends, but I'm breaking up with Hershey's kisses and white bread. In an achievable, nothing is forbidden but be smarter, no-diet-diet kind of way. More veggies. Less sugar. The end.
Three, the goal is to fill up with love. Fill myself up, radiate it out. Not to be hippy-dippy, but I had a moment while doing yoga yesterday. ;) I nearly forgot, but I'd love to attend a weekly yoga class as a goal, too. Maybe. Saturday mornings?
But love. That's the main one. Amen and amen. Happy New Year. I'm planning a stop at Publix before going home, for cake (sugar's last hurrah), and chips, and maybe something festive like party hats. :)
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