Full, rich life

Several tidbits about what's been going on (nothing major, just the regular stuff!):

Took a brisk 10-minute walk yesterday at 2pm, which helped wake me up. Am trying to do this anyway, as many days as possible, but especially yesterday because I was sleepy. We were all sleepy, actually, due to the Super Bowl festivities Sunday night. It was so great that Peyton Manning won. I mean, even though everyone knows it wasn't HE who won it, but his team's Defense... still, I hope he retires on top and never has a single regret.

Went to Costco yesterday, too, in the 11:00 hour. I still have post-traumatic something, leftover from that year I bought snacks for the school and had to go to Costco at least once a week... which is to say, I do not enjoy Costco, despite its tempting, enormous boxes of granola bars and pretty great prices on Capri Suns. But I've re-upped my $55 membership (to buy stuff for a different school committee, haha!), so I will have to learn to at least tolerate it, in order to justify the card. I have made a note that Monday 11ish is not a bad time to visit (but NEVER on weekends. NEVER AGAIN).

Alex's piano teacher has resigned, so we may not have a lesson this week. It's just as well, and so rare that we get to go straight home and stay there, on a weeknight! We're looking for another teacher. Meanwhile, maybe he'll actually practice his clarinet (Band / school) while he has a bit of a break?? I can hope. The only thing he fully commits to is his digital life. A topic for another day.

Thursday is the next Middle School Dance (saying prayers for Alex's pre-teen self to enjoy, be brave, and be protected from nonsense)... and my parents' next visit to our house! I love having them visit, and this time I even took a Monday off while they're here! We decided on a trampoline for Kate's birthday present. She wanted an American Girl doll at one point, but I have seen her play dolls exactly two times in my life. (I think it's partly due to having a brother and never having girls her age in the neighborhoods to play with her.)

Thursday is also a choir practice I can't skip at 7:00, so it's is going to be go-go-go from wakeup to bedtime.

But that's okay.

I've been thinking about my enjoyment of things lately. I have spent the last couple of (5?) years learning to be grateful for the little things (and the big things), to make sure I know what a good, good life it is. I've tried to pray, to learn the simplest of 5-minute meditation, to appreciate, to "be present." Those things are not always easy, but I try. You should see the number of places I count my blessings, besides here on the blog. In the back of my work "to-do" list notebook I'll write down two or three things; in a separate journal/notebook I got as a gift from a co-worker; on the Happier app...and yet I still manage to not always enjoy my days. I had this revelation recently and wondered WHY??

Partly it's the rush, and the busy culture we live in, where we have to Do, Do, Do and can't just Be. I mean, what would it actually be like to wake up, have coffee and breakfast at whatever leisurely pace I chose, then stand at my window and think, "Hmm, what do I want to do today?" Does anyone have that luxury nowadays? It doesn't feel like it.

One thing I believe is that perfect happiness every day is a myth. People are created to have different moods, after all. I am allowed. You are. Despite pop-psych culture demanding that we "find our bliss" and all that, it's okay to only be "meh" sometimes. Work is work, it isn't meant to be a super-fun partytime hour. "Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life...?" I think it's a crock. Work is work.

But I've decided that "be present," which is the advice you find all over the Internet and in the current books, doesn't speak to me. "Be happy" -- even "choose to be happy" -- doesn't quite spur me to action. "Enjoy this" speaks to me. I've been trying to direct myself - to remind myself - to enjoy this, whatever it is that I'm doing. I think this is working the best so far.

Recently I read this, too, and I like it:

"Life is happening right now, in this moment. Today is the only day that matters. Anchor yourself in the now and give it your all. Notice the details and drink in the sweetness. Be present."

Drink in the sweetness. That's a good one.