Things I Haven't Been Doing

1. Singing. I quit the choir as soon as the pandemic started, and I quit being a cantor at Saturday Vigil Masses the minute the director emailed to say "We can go back, but in a limited way." I have felt guilt over this, of course -- the subhead of this blog could be, "She feels guilt about not going to choir" -- but I have also felt something else, new: I just can't fathom singing anymore. Not because of the physical act of singing, which is of course dangerous, what with droplets and all. But because there's no desire to sing. I have no desire to exercise my vocal muscles or improve my talent. It's like all that dried up with society's general optimism. (It's also partly that I don't want to sing what they're singing; the current director doesn't choose things I like or teach music the way I prefer.) I feel a little sad over it, yes. But a little like... it's as good an excuse as any... ? I have long known I don't want to be one of "the old ladies of the choir," meaning I want to stop before I get warbly and grey-haired. And while I'm not "old," I'm sort-of ready to shed that future-persona, already. It's weird. I'm just over it. Being something I really, truly loved to do once, it's a huge change.

2. Blogging. Not even when I gave myself three distinct prompts last time! I owe you stories about football, liver cysts, and detentions. You'll have to wait because I don't feel like it!  

3. Feeling SO nervous when Alex drives. I'm getting used to it. He's now in "his" car, a 4-door sedan, and I think it fits him so much better than my car, a small SUV. He seems more comfortable and it is easier handling than mine, I'll admit. Today he drove carpool to pick Kate up (with me). He's eligible for his license but wants to practice parking/parallel parking a little more before his test. Eeeeeee. This little baby of mine!  

Thanks, Papa Joe, for selling us your car!