The Deal Is

Apologies to my friends and family who already know this and have heard it ad nauseum.

Remember how I said I was going to lay it all out, how I feel about my job, what I want to do, and when? Well, a conversation was already in progress over at All & Sundry, so I jumped in. She did the hard work for me, and our situations are similar. She likes her company a whole heck of a lot, and they're kind and easy to work for. Me too. She doesn't feel exactly fulfilled in her career. Me either. My own thoughts/plans, cut-n-pasted below, are number 90 in her comments.

I'm in a job I can stand, but never would have imagined for myself. I'd rather work part-time for the same company or just write full-time (I'd probably get most of my writing gigs from... the same company). But I just *cannot* decide. Or make the leap of faith.

We're trying for a 2nd curtain-climber, so I'm just praying that works out, and then I do plan pick one.

As for career aspirations? They pretty much went out the window when my son was born. Why would I want to be a "success" corporately when I can aim to be a success at parenthood? If I make enough to help us pay the mortgage (and the Internet bill), AND have time with my hubby & kid(s), that is going to be enough success for me.

Ideally I want to be a secretary at my son's school (read: summers off), and write/edit on the side. I think that'll work just fine. :)

So there it is. For some reason I need that second baby to justify cutting back; which isn't exactly fair to AJ, but maybe has to do with SAVING as much money as we can before the 2nd baby comes. And AJ's done just fine at his daycare, full-time.

(BTW, we just got internet "AJ-cam" installed at our daycare. Right now at the very instant in time, he's playing outside. :) I am going to be addicted to this.)

What I think about lately (besides having summers off), is whether to structure a part-time schedule like this?

M off
T work 8-4
W work 8-4
T work 8-4
F off
(total 21 hrs)

or like this?
M-F 8-12
(total 20 hrs)

For daycare purposes (for baby #2, mostly), the first option makes better sense, because if I got off at 12 that's right in the middle of naptime for all their classrooms. But once AJ's in real school, he'd have to have some sort of after-care because I couldn't pick him up until 4:30 or 5. So in that case, the 2nd scenario is better.

And, GEES, I thought I was really anxious to be pregnant the first time around! This time I think I want it even MORE. :)