This morning is good news/bad news about my health and weight-loss efforts.
My pleasant little bathroom scale at home, at 5:49 am, told me, "Congratulations, el-e-e! You are whipping your butt into shape one little baby step at a time. Down a half-pound! Good on you! Now get out there and face your day. You're doing it the right way."
I like that scale. He's friendly.
Then I came to the office, where Concentra Medical Services is conducting Health Screenings today so that we can tell the insurance people that we're aware we ... have health. Or something. The screenings have nothing to do with much of anything, but we get a pre-determined dollar amount "knocked off our premium" if we fill in these numbers: height, weight, blood pressure, and cholesterol.
I should have made up numbers. The ones I got were not friendly.
I usually skate by in the cholesterol department with a 175-ish total score. Not today.
You know what? I am going to tell you my numbers. I am going to be brave.
My LDL.... 125 (should be under 100!)
My HDL.... 38 (should be at least 50, ideally greater than 60!)
My total cholesterol... 196 (under 200 is okay)
My triglycerides... 196 (should be 50 to 150!)
My BP... somewhat high today at 124/82
GOOD G*DAMN.
I'm sorry but that is the ONLY word that comes to mind. I *NEVER* have high blood pressure. In fact, doctors are usually amazed at how GOOD my BP is. What. Thehell. I am wondering how much of this is fluke-y and how much is real. Oh, who am I kidding, it's likely all real. Some of it might be genes -- my little 92-pound grandmother had cholesterol over 200, I think -- but a lot of it is BUTTER. And CHEDDAR. And WHITE BREAD and BACON.
So. Let me just say again... Damn.
Jillian Michaels, here I come.
New supportive shoes, here I come.
5:15 am, here I effing come.
Mister Quaker Oatmeal guy, here I come.
V-8 low-sodium (gag), here I come.
Pickles and water, here I come. (little joke with my Mom)
WeightWatchers vegetable soup, here I come.
Skinny latte (tall), here I come. Once in a blue moon as a much-needed treat.
Goodbye, 1 piece of chocolate after dinner. (Okay, 2.)
Goodbye, ice cream.
Goodbye, cheddar cheese.
Goodbye, sour cream (lite).
Goodbye, Squeeze Parkay convenience.
Goodbye, cookies.
Goodbye, regular pasta.
Goodbye, loaded potato soup.
Goodbye, white rice all the time because it's economical -- too bad!
Should be loads of fun. I can't wait to get down to business. <--- (sarcasm.)
8 comments:
Hello, my name is Tessie, and my cholesterol has been over 200 for YEARS.
That is all.
Hang in there dude.
Ugh... that would be a downer. Makes me think I ought to get these things checked out too...
Look, it's Tessie!
that explains your unwavering Commitment to Exercise, tessie. :)
(and thanks, that made me feel a little better)
Your 92-pound grandmother's cholesterol was above 300 the first time she had it checked. She never took medication for it and still managed to live to 95.
Not to knock the concerted effort you're about to start,
BUT
I think a lot of it is genetic. The first time I had my cholesterol checked I had been a vegetarian for 10 years. Super fab numbers. The next time I had it checked I'd been a hearty meat eater for 8 years (along with plenty of delicious dairy). The numbers were EXACTLY the same.
In short, no biggie on the after dinner chocolate, IMO.
yes, totally dont give up your chocolate .. also, your grandmother was awesome (just had to get that in) AND .. wow, its Tessie!!
and the whole wheat pasts is fine .. just cook it a longer then it says too ..
..wait .. your scale TALKS to you?? (hehehe)
Cholesterol is so unfair. I eat SO MUCH BUTTER and cheese and sugar, and I don't exercise, and I have nice low numbers. UNEARNED. My mom's best friend is married to a doctor, and he says cholesterol can't be budged much with lifestyle. I can't remember the exact percentage, but he said something like "15% at most."
If it makes you feel better, back in the spring I went for a physical for an insurance thing (major waste of time and money, BTW) and they called and left me a message saying I had high cholesterol. Now, I've read that nursing mothers have high cholesterol, and since the doctor's office didn't give me any numbers, I just pooh-poohed it. I figure I'll check it all again once I'm not nursing and then see what happens. But I need to get with Jillian Michaels and work my patootie off, I've had it saved on the Tivo for over a week!
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