Yesterday AJ and I were a couple of sad sacks at the monthly skating party his school puts on. Neither one of us had any friends to play with. There were plenty of girls from his class, but none of the boys he plays with – in fact, only one other boy from his class at all. So he bumbled around the indoor-jungle-gym area, climbing up and sliding down kind-of aimlessly, and coming over to sip on his drink at my table more often than he normally would. I felt sorry for him.
I would have felt sorry for myself, too, at the table all alone, except that I had my Kindle app and a new book to read. But the other moms were definitely cliqued up, in an “our girls have already spent the night together” way. They’ve bonded since we all started Kindergarten last year. For one thing, Daisy Scouts starts in Kindergarten whereas Cub Scouts doesn’t start until First Grade for the boys, so they’re a year up on us in extra-curriculars. Whatever. They were perfectly nice, just didn't make much effort toward me. But it was no big deal – as I said, I had a book to read and bought myself a carby soft pretzel. No good socializing, but a fine way to get some “quiet” me-time while the music played loud and the crazy lights created my backdrop. AJ managed to get some exercise, I guess, and did play with the girls as much as he could stand. But when we left, he was definitely bummed out.
And then KT. She is a JOY when you pick her up from school – telling you all about her day, talk-talk-talking, asking for gum (her new favorite thing).... But the minute she comes in the house and sees me (DH picks her up most days), she morphs into the whiniest, want-i-est pitiful baby. Nothing to say about it, I suppose – she’s two – but man, does it make me weary. I cringe when I think of how little I am able to SMILE when she’s like that. I get that weary sound in my voice, and I act like it's a chore to DEAL WITH IT, which it IS. That usually bleeds over into AJ’s mood, too, and then no one in the entire FAMILY is able to smile. And forget about doing fun projects after dinner, or about anyone having dessert – when the kids are whiny and we’re directorial, they clearly won’t want to eat their dinner or behave at the table. And somehow I can't *brisk clap!* and shake it off and get everyone to about-face back to Happy (Dammit)!
Seriously, my one great wish, even if it were just for the weekends, is that we could do something fun, something together, that makes us laugh and just ENJOY each other for goshsakes.
Do you have any suggestions that aren't "Go out for ice cream?"
9 comments:
What about playing miniature golf? My kids are 7 (DD) and 3 1/2 (DS)and we usually enjoy playing mini-golf as a family. We are lax with the rules for the kids. DD practically uses her putter like a hockey stick. DH and I can usually be a little competitive with each other.
Oh, the whining. It drives me CRAZY. I mean, I want to climb the walls, slam the door to my room and hide under the covers kind of crazy. I have yelled, yes yelled, "STOP WHINING AT ME!" Which is so helpful, I know.
As for fun stuff...to do together...is it a treat to go to the park, maybe one you don't usually visit? I like the miniature golf idea, too. A family bike ride? Or maybe a nature walk, now that it's cooler?
Sam, yes, I've been thinking about a hike/nature walk. With picnic! We're very close to a mountain trail. And mini-golf might work, too... good thought, SW. :)
Take a walk in the woods? Go pick apples or visit a pumpkin patch? Attend a family-oriented community/library/arts event?
I pick up my kids (6 and almost 2) from my mother's house after work and it NEVER FAILS that we argue about my son putting his shoes so that we can leave. It is a CONSTANT BATTLE every afternoon. He delays and whines...which then sets off my daughter. It usually ends with threats and frustrations all around. I've decided that I think he is so well behaved at school that he lets all his frustrations out when he sees me. Once we get home, there is the "gotta get dinner started" (gonna have to start my crock pot meal planning to avoid this) and "mom, play with me", "mom, I'm starving" (just as I start dinner prep), "do I HAVE to do my homework now", laundry, cleaning, etc. Ughhhh.... I hate that our evenings home start out on such a negative note.. after all that, I'm short with them and honestly just looking forward to their bedtime so that I'll have a few moments alone. Then, of course, after they are in bed and looking so sweet, I regret not being a better mother to them.... It is neverending..
Laura
LCS seems to save her most grating whining for me too. So wearying. A couple of weekends ago I let my kids eat lunch in the backyard and I went out there with them and they were so surprised and happy. So little things that are outside the norm can make a big impact I think.
M HIT me this morning!!!! I mean, it was this soft little tap that I could barely feel, but she meant it as a HIT! Oh, lord. It was because I was BRUSHING her HAIR! Sometimes it seems that the only time I can let loose and be happy is when we are outdoors -- like walking to the park. One nearby park has an exercise trail through the woods with numbered stations. M and I both get such a kick out of it.
Sherry, if that's the first time she's done that, I'm impressed. ;)
It seems the consensus is GO OUTDOORS. Good thing the weather is nice!
Oh, what IS it with these little girls about Momma coming home? Madeline does the same exact thing, and like you said it can really cause a downward trend for the evening.
When that starts we go to the park and let her run. Always perks her right up, and taking the walk is nice for DH and I too. Maybe try that?
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