Present

Sometimes I know I'm not present with the kids. There are too many dishes in the sink, needing to be washed; there's dinner that I haven't even started putting together; there's Christmas decorating (at least there was 2 weeks ago) that will take a full Saturday to really do "right." So the kids need to find their own entertainment, which they typically do in front of a flat-screen. (Well, also in the hallway, throwing a ball. I don't have time to argue about ball in the house -- at least they're being "active!" And not bugging me!) I'm okay with not always being present, and they NEED me to let them just go, spin around and find their own ways in the world, but I want to do more, be there enough.

In the past 24 hours I did at least three things more "presently," and I want to pat myself on the back for them. (Also, I just read one of those insipid HuffPo articles titled "motherhood is ____" -- they're all named the same -- and I'd rather have read/written my own version I guess.)

1. I did not "scratch on my phone," as my dad endearingly says, at all from 4:00 pm until 10:00 pm. My eyes were available for whatever they wanted to show me, my fingers for whatever they needed me to do.

2. At bedtime, I finally got to spend a few minutes with Alex. After getting Kate down, which is always a feat worth a pat on the back (but not dramatic last night, thank the Good Lord), I went into Alex's room. He was re-reading one of the Diary of a Wimpy Kid books. I flopped down on my stomach next to him, and we flipped through the pages together. We laughed and laughed at the part where they're trying to name their dog. Roderick, the older brother, suggests they call the dog Turtle. "Turd for short," he says, hilariously. We laughed out loud for at least 4 minutes together, repeating the phrase to each other and collapsing in giggles every time.  Man, I needed to connect with that kid, in that exact way.

3. This morning at 5:00 (don't worry, that's my normal Thursday wake-up time), I was making a quick breakfast dish for my office Christmas brunch. Kate must have heard me and wandered downstairs. When she saw her new "doodles" coloring book on the counter, she asked if she could color in it, and if I would, too. And I did. We used markers and sat together in the dark of the kitchen, and just colored. There was very little chatter -- I mean, there was a little, she's a 5-y-o girl -- and it was just perfect.