Learning from others

Last Wednesday, we learned that very unexpectedly, a child in our Scout Pack was having brain surgery. Just like that. Headaches, MRI, brain surgery. I was a bit of a mess that day. (I'd already been reading/watching some of the 9/11 memorial stuff, then this hit my inbox.) I don't know the child very well at all, and I barely know the parents, but we know them. They're in our circle, we know each others' names and kids' names. I know they're good people. And the thought of what they were going through that day... a 6-hour surgery... a neurosurgeon, of all things... it stopped my breath several times while I was trying to work and be a good employee. The surgery went well and they'll probably be released today. They haven't gotten pathology results on the golf-ball-sized tumor (!) that was removed from his cerebellum, or at least they haven't shared those results on caringbridge.org yet. But I am praying for them constantly. Thinking of them. Give them strength. Help them get through today. What a life-changing week they've had. Every time I pictured it last week, my mind managed to put me in that hospital waiting room, because What if? And thank God, no, but what IF. Frightens and saddens me to the core. So there's been a bit of perspective around here lately. Another friend, I learned, has become a grandmother. I knew her 21-year-old daughter was pregnant but didn't realize baby had been born. And evidently there is enough friction that my friend has told the daughter she won't help, that the baby would be better off if she gave it up for adoption. I'm floored by this. That is an awful lot of pain, to be able to say that. I think about the girl, postpartum without help from her Mom. Whom does she ask when she has questions about how warm to make the bottle? If it's okay if the baby sleeps with her? If it's okay to not shower for a day or two? I'm considering trying to find out her phone number and just offer something. This is a girl that babysat Alex a couple of times when she was in high school. I thought she was very sweet. But there was rebellion, and trouble. Her mother never gave her a chance; wrote her off the minute she began misbehaving. (The baby's father has left, I think.) I don't understand and can't fathom. And I read a book about a guy from my high school who was paralyzed at age 19, and has been wheelchair-bound ever since. Sorry to be a downer. Everything is fine. I've been gifted with some real examples of, If these are my problems, my problems are nothing.