Reflecting on '14

Here's what I don't want to do today: Complain that I'm at work.

Here's what's happening at home: Kate is going to play at her friend Kate's house, and Alex is having Will over to play at our house, with Grandmommy and Papa Joe doing the taxiing and babysitting. Pretty fun day for them, yes?

Here's what we're doing tonight: Relaxing. Drinking wine and champagne. Eating crackers and cheeses and cookies and maybe some turkey roll-ups and carrots and Ranch, and breathing deep. A day off tomorrow. We are going to celebrate and be together. (We are going to do some laundry, parenthetically.) We will likely play several rounds of "Authors," "Children's Authors," and "Inventors," three Go-Fish card games that Mom brought the kids that they LOVE. We need to set up a big tournament to make it higher stakes! Hee hee.

You know what was fun and different this morning? I had to sit in my car and let it warm up! I've let Mom and Dad park in the garage and kept my car on the driveway, exposed to the elements (ooooo) these last few days. This morning there was frost on the windshield, enough that I couldn't see to drive it until it had defrosted. So rarely happens to me I'm surprised I remembered what to do. Ha!

Here's what I posted at Happier:
Mindful on this last day of the year: God is good. We are loved. Life is sweet. I am richly blessed.

And that's all I really need to know for 2015, isn't it?

I do like having a little time for reflection, though. It was a busy year. It was the year I got a big thing that I wanted -- a new house in a new neighborhood. It was hard, but rewarding, to go through that whole stressful process. Sometimes we still can't actually believe we did it. Alex is spending the night at the old neighbors' tomorrow night. I have mixed emotions about going there on the first day of 2015, but keep telling myself, "Don't be silly."

It was the year I turned 40, and Shawn gave me the biggest gift by planning that amazing surprise party for me. I can still reach back and remember how blessed and loved I felt, arriving in the room and seeing.... nearly everyone. Thank you, Honey, for working SO hard to do that for me.

It was a year for growth in parenting. Mistakes were made, but I think a lot of progress, too. And Kate is growing up. Bless her. I see fewer and fewer tantrums. We still have our differences, of course, and arguments. I work at redirecting her, talking it through, understanding her feelings. She's growing up, but still so little. Lately she's asking me to sing her our old lullabies while she drifts off to sleep.

Alex is growing up, too. It has been a year of change for him. Saying goodbye to another sport, reading less, then more, really maturing in his approach to school and organization. I want so much for him -- success and achievement, and for him to find HIS THING. I'm trying not to worry about it but I want to gently push him to try more things. This week he's been interested in Mythbusters and his remote control quad-copter and for some reason, it makes me hopeful.

Shawn lost his father in 2014. I feel terribly guilty that I haven't been more mindful of that during the holidays. I pray for his heart. I hope his good memories glow brightly and that we honored his Dad well in June. I think we did. I spent a lot of time praying for mercy for him, and for Susan, in this year.

And it was a healthier year for me. I lost 8 pounds. I'm unsure how many of these I gained back in the last 2 weeks, but I'm still willing to work at it. I'm relieved.


My 2015 wishes, besides remembering that God is good and I am loved? To read a little more. To pray a little more. To plan a few more fun family things. To walk, run and stretch a little more. To take more time off. To find more meaning in my work, somehow. To be who I am. It's the 2nd half of my 40th year. I feel a lot of possibility there. "When I turned 40, I made good things happen." That's what I want to say.