Whiny. The answer is "whiny," about work this week (total shocker), even though I KNOW I should be grateful for having a job, and yes, it's only a small part of my overall amazing life. Amazing. Grateful, indeed. Part of it is re-entry after Thanksgiving break, which was so lovely and long (3 days off, plus a weekend! Luxury!) and we went to Pensacola and there, at Mom and Dad's, is where I feel comfortable and secure, and also able to be lazy (sorry, Shawn). And cousins. I had such fun letting our kids play with Tom and Dominique's kids, and they all just adore each other. It's hard to leave all that fun.
But my malaise is more than just post-vaca blues, because before the break, I'd had an annual performance review with a new manager who is more critical than my previous manager. She did me in with the "Needs Improvement"s. Sad face. When I see my Outlook calendar or my to-do list, I'm left with a really low, dejected spot in my mind, and uninterested in implementing any resulting goals. It's the opposite of what I think I'm supposed to feel, which is "Motivated and Enthusiastic to do Better, and be more Awesome!" Don't get me wrong, she applauded me on ... one or two things.
Scratch that -- you can go ahead and get me wrong. I guess I've always been a top student and not getting an A hurts a bit. A lot. (Even though I wasn't that surprised by the review, and during it, I didn't get emotional or even argue anything. It's just that 4 or 5 days later, it's starting to sting.)
Anyway, on top of that delightfulness, there are many, many new and Very Important projects. Ideas that people come up with, that they never manage to think all the way through. Or follow up about. But they manage to send me an email with an ACTION item. And they needed it yesterday.
I guess if I combine the two problems -- goal malaise plus things that need following-through-on -- I could come out on top, by bringing some things to fruition and thus looking awesome.
But blogging and Twitter and online shopping all seem like a lot more fun to me right at this moment.
1 comment:
Oh MAN. Lee, this is so one of those moments where I wish we could grab coffee (or let's face it, hot chocolate for me because I'm perpetually 12) and chat. I just had a review with a manager that I have some difficulty with and... same. Same sort of results, same sort of resulting feelings. I feel so let down and deflated and BLEH. Today I cleaned out my desk, reorganized, filed in the hopes that Monday will be the day to meet the challenge newly.
Not to take over with my giant comments but - here is a very big internet hug for you. Let's find our way out of the funk somehow, and make 2015 amazing!! (I'm reaching. Maybe Monday there will be feeling behind that!!) ;)
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