Happy New Year - Let's Review

I read S's year-end review and, as usual, thought it would be so lovely to write one of my own. I do like that particular set of questions and have answered them many times in the past, though I can only seem to find 2015 & 2016. Last year I just did my own thing for 2019's review (also in 2018). And actually, I like to write my thoughts down on paper, if I've kept a paper planner, which I have the last couple of years after a long hiatus. My own format works for me, so here is what I wrote in the last few pages of my planner this year (I did this on Dec. 30 or 31):

The 2020 good stuff:

• Got what I've long wanted: nearly full-time WFH, with time for carpool pickups, not aftercare. 100% flexibility. Would have done extracurricular volunteering, if there'd been any to do.
• Grateful for the time - EXTRA - at home with Alex and Kate, that I never would have had otherwise. For walks in midday, for lunch breaks together and dumb/fun TV shows, for helping each other.
• Grateful for our health, through all of this year's pandemic; no one in my immediate family has been sick (let me add that Kate got over her sniffles after about 3 days, as did Shawn, who got them immediately after Kate. We didn't have either person tested and I don't know if that was right or wrong.)
• Grateful to still have our jobs, after collecting unemployment for the first time in my life this year during 4 weeks of furlough.

Goals accomplished (because I did actually have a few, back in January '20):

• Painted hall/entry, kitchen, & den, all lovely new shades of grey
• Bought a new (Sleep Number) bed like we wanted to do, and we LOVE it
• Spring gardening successes
• Visits to P'cola, Savannah (5, 2 -- more than usual)
• Bought a car for Alex (thanks, Mom and Dad!)
• Felt appreciated at work - made myself the best helper I can be
• Didn't stress about goals
• Made Christmas as fun/happy as we could
• Lost 15 pounds. Worked out an average of 134 minutes/week in an attempt to lower my cholesterol (which didn't work, thanks, Genetics, but at least I tried - I'm now on medication for it)
• Saved on groceries by setting a budget and shopping at Aldi/online
• Set a clothes budget (not sure if we saved anything, but at least there was the intent to save, lol. It's hard with a pre-teen girl, I'll say that for sure, but I'm working on my acceptance of it -- kids need to have clothes they like, after all)
• Read 30 books, although this wasn't a goal, just a nice thing I had time to do

Things that could be improved:

• Church attendance. Mixed feelings here. We've been under full dispensation since March, so really it's OKAY! No one would fault us for it and there's no need to confess anything! Ha! But am I neglecting my kids' faith formation by mostly ignoring virtual Masses online? I just can't stand watching the ones our parish livestreams. Should probably try other parishes but... meh. 
  Not singing in the choir anymore is still strange to me, but I think the right choice. I needed a reason to quit, because it was absolutely no longer bringing me joy, and the pandemic was a good reason.
• Taking care of my parents. Perhaps I'm not alone because of Covid, but I'm feeling a lot of guilt about this right now. I hate that we don't live in the same town as them, I can't drive them to doctor's appointments or heaven forbid, ER visits, which they had this year; and that they aren't in our Covid bubble. Same with Shawn's mom; she's living by herself, and her oldest son isn't there to help her out. I hate it. Christmas was nice, quiet, but caused a lot of guilt, if I'm honest. Logically I understand that our life is here at the moment, and I know all of our parents are okay with that. Thankfully, they're mostly healthy and doing GREAT without our help! Not to mention it was safer this year to stay apart at Christmas! But it's easy to feel like we're somehow neglecting our duty as children. I'm trying to remember that everything has a reason, and that God is not the God of guilt, and doesn't want me to feel bad. But it's what I'm wrestling with, especially as the pandemic goes on. 

So, how to sum all of this up? 2020 happened. We did puzzles, we made masks, we over-bought (hoarded) toilet paper, we did online school, we mostly stopped going to restaurants except to pick up food. I'm actually happier, thinner, and richer, and I never answer those questions that way.

I can't WAIT until we can all get vaccinated, and Alex can return to a normal marching band (senior!!) season, and Kate to a normal Drama club season, with all their godforsaken fundraising needs. I will raise the heck out of some funds if they can just have their fun back. I'll take what I learned and really appreciate things more. Incidentally, we watched Pixar's "Soul" on NY's Eve and it was the PERFECT way to wrap up a year when finding joy in the little things was the only way to function. 

I'm greatly looking forward to 2021, with a small spark of hope. Hope you are, too.