It Would Require Early Mornings.

If I altered my schedule to accommodate the things I want to accommodate -- namely, swimming this summer and being able to pick up AJ during regular carpool next fall -- it would mean getting up even earlier than I already do, which is 5:45 a.m.

This is what I'm thinking: 6:30 am to 3:30 pm. FLEXTIME, baby.

To get showered, dressed and high-heeled (just kidding; I do not wear high heels) by 6:15, I'd need to get up no later than 5:30. Meaning the first Snooze Button Push would take place at 5:15 because heaven knows I need my Snooze! I think I could get the kids downstairs with breakfast in front of them before I left. In other words, I wouldn't have to skip seeing them altogether in the mornings, and that's a good thing.

AJ's been complaining more and more about having to go to After-care. I don't know why, exactly. His best friend is there, too, and they get snacks and playtime and MOVIES, even, if I'm later than 5:00 (which is almost never). Maybe it's just end-of-the-year ennui, which I had to explain to him yesterday when he said he's tired of going to school. I told him he's supposed to be.

Although Aftercare and 3:30 carpool aren't part of the equation this summer, having the time to swim in the afternoons would add infinite amounts of FUN to his vacation, and that's important to me, too. I feel like the kids need to have an element of "off-routine," within the limits of my still having a work schedule. It would be time to get used to the morning shuffle before actual school begins again.

What I'd have to sacrifice is the evenings from 10-11 p.m., because there's no way I could do very well with LESS sleep than I currently get. It's worth mentioning that I DO sleep between 10 and 11 most nights, on the couch... but I think this would need to involve some DEDICATED sleeping.

One other thing--I would have to rely on DH to drop off both kids, which might take a lot out of him. Some days it's a wrestling match to get one or the other of them out the door and buckled up. We're very wary of a Morning Mood. Still, it's an even exchange I guess, all him in the mornings, all me in the afternoons (the afternoons are sometimes hairy, too). Only sad thing would be us swimming without DH.

Would it be worth it? I read of women who do this kind of "flexing" all the time, and to them it's worth it. As I said, I have a mental THING going on with After-care. I LOVE the After-care director at AJ's school, and I know he isn't alone there -- a large portion of parents need After-care every day, just like we do in our current situation. But I fondly remember after-school time with my own Mom -- especially in high school when I had a LOT I needed to talk to her about. We had such a close bond (still do!) and might not have, if not for having had that time together every single day -- and I feel like it's one of the quintessential American Mom THINGS that I'm not getting to do, and it sort-of hurts me in my heart.

Obviously it requires a discussion with DH, but he has said he's always willing to help me with any flexible scheduling I can wrangle; it's a shame his company isn't as lenient with arragements like this. I'm presuming mine would be. But I would love to hear from anyone who has a thought. What do you think? Should I:

• Work 6:30 to 3:30 every day?


• Work 6:30 to 3:30 3 days a week, and send AJ to Aftercare 2 days?


• Forget it, stay in bed those extra 15!

We interrupt this broadcast...

We have had 2 full nights now with no pacifier, and one nap on Sunday.

The infamous "Invisible Blue-y," so named by AJ, I think, to distinguish it from another "Blue-y," disappeared rather conveniently at a party we attended over the weekend. (This particular Paci has a history of disappearace. It lived between the floor and the couch of my parents' living room from December 31 until around April!) I had been talking to some of the other moms at the party about needing to RID ourselves of this habit. MY habit, not necessarily KT's. I'm completely responsible. Paci-Fairy, Build-A-Bear, Something needed to happen. (In case you haven't heard this GENIUS idea, a friend of a friend took her 3-year-old to Build-A-Bear, kissed the pacifier, and handed it over to be sewn up with the heart and the stuffing into a brand-new bear! GENIUS.)

Then something did happen. A total accident, I swear: After a day's worth of playing, we couldn't FIND Paci when it was time to leave. KT cried and cried, but there was nothing we could do.

And she is doing fine so far. A couple of whimpers, but nothing that can't be deflected with a toy or some juice.


--Reporting from Mommyblogland.

7 Quick Takes Friday (because it's been a while!)

School's Almost Out for Summer edition!

1. I am contemplating a schedule change. This probably deserves a much longer post, but I think I want to alter my work schedule before the next school year. I realized late last month that I really don't want my kids to spend the entirety of their lives going to After-care. We see the other kids in our neighborhood playing outside when we pull into our driveway at 5:00 pm. It's just not fair that AJ doesn't get to do that. I mean, he DOES... they play outside at After-care... but... well, you know. All the Arguments. Again, it's probably more for MY comfort than for his, but I'm contemplating. Maybe I'll save the details and have something substantial for my next post. Wouldn't that be novel?!

2. Nearly had a panic attack this week about Money. Lots of things we want to do, like the Anniversary Trip next year, the New Car we'll probably need next year, Kitchen Cabinets/Countertops (please?), and then I thought, "ACK. What about when KT enters St. J's Catholic School?? I can't afford a TEN-thousand dollar payment! Ackackackack bring my smelling salts..." All this came about because I had to sign the form saying I'll pay for AJ's school next year. Took me a while to realize that, OH YEAH, I already pay that much over the course of the year, with AJ's tuition plus KT's daycare. Duh. Actually I think it will be a slight decrease when she gets to Kindergarten. Whew.

3. Except it will be double all the extra t-shirt fees, and books, and uniformsOMG and incidentals like the 2nd-grade charity bake sale and the 2x/year book fair. Yeesh. Money. Can't live with it, can't shoot it. Or something.

4. If your choices today were a) compose an e-newsletter, b) prep for a sales-y phone call tomorrow, c) research some scientific cancer news or d) make calls to sell ad space in your magazine... which would you choose? IKNOWRIGHT? Terrible choices.

5. I think we have AJ's summer schedule figured out. He'll spend a week-ish with my parents, right before we meet them down there on the oily Gulf Coast for Beach Week (or, Pool Week, as it were). And then in mid-July, he'll spend a week with DH's parents in Savannah. I think he's super excited about both. I am going to miss that kid like CRAZY when he's gone, I already know it.

6. Although I haven't written the check yet, I have thought I want us to join the Home Owners' Ass'n this summer, for use of the neighborhood pool. This may also inform #1 re: my schedule. Hmmm.

7. I was recently asked to help with the music for Vacation Bible School. It's during Beach Pool Week, however. AND there's the unfortunate fact of my job. Mornings from 8-12 kiiiinda wouldn't work. SO BUMMED. I adored VBS when I was a kid.

More Quick Takes at Jen's.

Finale

Well, we did lose a game. Tuesday night, actually. 28 to 15 or some crazy score like that. The kids took it well for the most part.

And LAST night, Wednesday, we sat down at the table at 6:00 pm, with mesquite-lime grilled chicken, steamed corn and garlic pasta. "What's this?" the kids asked, curious. "It's called Dinner," I said. "We haven't had one of these since April."

Or at least that's how it has felt.

By the way, I have been sick again, this time a cold, and it's kept me away from my 45-Day-Shred since Monday. I'm back at it tonight, and if I can just do Wed., Thurs, Fri, and Sat., I can call it done. Ridiculous.

Baseball Ready

Lordy. They told us that spring t-ball was going to be "more serious" than fall ball, but they didn't tell me I'd have to fend off rain and mud because heaven forbid we postpone the SACRED TOURNAMENT.

Despite it, I've gotten caught up in wanting to WIN. And somehow, our guys keep pulling it off. In truth, DH and I fully wanted our team to lose at first. (He may still, and part of me does, too.) We were/are both feeling a little s t r e t c h e d by the frequency and intensity. But you can't help fist-pumping when a 6-year-old makes a pop fly catch (and then zings it into the glove of the first baseman, for good measure. Hee.)! They're playing their little hearts out, and man, I hope we keep winning. It means a game every night this week, and 2 on Saturday, but... Emotions are high out there, folks. On every field there are LOUD cheers and CRACKS of the bat. Lovely sounds.

There's definitely a bond with the other parents, too. I've been looking for friends at our school, but maybe t-ball is where we'll really get connected with people. Such nice families; we're lucky to have been matched up so well.

We're very proud of AJ. His attitude has been great, even though he's playing boring ol' left field. He complained about that for 1 minute last night, poor little bunny. But every night, he runs out there and stands "baseball ready" and he swings hard and runs as fast as his legs will carry him.

It was perfect, Because...

Mother's Day is completely pressurized these days. It seems if you're not treated to an entire day at the spa, plus breakfast in bed, fresh flowers and dinner at a French restaurant with kids, pressed and washed, sitting on either side of you, you've not been treated right. Or at least that's what they would have you think.

I'll challenge that. My Mother's Day started as all my other days start, with AJ notifiying me that it is 7:05, Mommy... It's 7:06. Are you getting up now? It's 7:07. I dragged out of the cozy comforter. KT was awake so we plucked her out of her crib before heading downstairs. Being careful not to trip on the 14-year-old dog who makes it his mission to be first to the bottom every time.

A beautiful photo frame with a picture of me and the kids greeted me in the kitchen, along with a sweet card and a gift card to the spa. (DH actually wanted me to grumble on my way down the stairs, so as to surprise me more. And that went according to plan ;)...) But otherwise, things proceeded as normal. Cereal, hot chocolate, coffee, then I made breakfast, I went to Wal-Mart after DH got up, I put groceries away, I even swiped down the bathroom. I sat outside while AJ played with the neighbor kids. He and I planted some caladiums in the front yard. I played pretend Ben 10 with him, which you know I don't really love.

But all those things make me a Mom, don't they? While I could have felt sorry for myself (and at moments, I admit I did), the bigger picture is that I get to be the exact person, in the exact role, that I wanted my whole life. Sweeter still that I was born to be in this role, with these children and this husband. The truth of that was a gift to me yesterday, even as I made my own bed.

Also, it's been a really long time since I had a day without a single committment or any scurrying around! I toodled around Wal-Mart (I was alone, after all; another gift). I puttered around the house getting things done -- even the long-overdue photo album. I cooked a dinner for once! Put it in the crock pot for later. We went for ice cream, and then to Mass, and best of all, the kids played happily for 45 minutes while I boiled the pasta and unloaded the dishes. GIFT! (Usually they cling.)

KT's got a new word: Because. She doesn't use it correctly, but she says it a lot. It's so cute. She says something like, "Guess what?" Then, "Because... See my band-aid, Mama?"

My day didn't make sense either, in one way. But it was perfect Because it was.

Day 25, T-ball, and The Church band

It's at the point now where I have to keep Shredding (hate it as a Verb) because THANK GOD it's nearly over. Not that I'm planning to quit exercising, but I think most people who do this particular workout for the full 30 days get SICK OF IT after a while, amiright? (Please say I'm right.) I am jonesing for my Yoga/Pilates DVD. On the other hand, I am scared that I won't keep up the momentum, will fall right back onto my spot on the couch, with a handful of M&Ms to fill the Jillian void. I don't WANT that, but that's what has traditionally happened, so I expect it to. I'll do my best to fight it, but that'll be new for me. I am really grateful that DH has kept up his workouts since January. 4 days a week, without fail. It's been impressive.

So far I'm not noticing a great physical difference in the place I want to see a difference. My shoulders seem to be getting slight definition (be still my heart, if I someday get to see my collarbones for the first time in my life!), but the post-babies tummy is still a post-babies tummy. Oh well, I suppose I'll have to pretend to feel good about my heart health. HA. Everyone knows that deep down we just want to look nice in a tankini. Okay, enough of this nonsense.

* * *

T-ball tonight. It's the second game in our tournament series. We lost the first 22-0, did I tell you? It was a sad situation.... for the crazy parents/coaches who think this is IMPORTANT or something. DH and I are of the opinion that if the kids are having fun and learning the basic rules, it's ALL GOOD. In contrast, the head coach went to the ballpark last night and the night before, when we had off-nights, to SCOUT the COMPETITION.

Kee-razy. I think I mostly like T-ball because it means I don't have to plan dinner on those nights.

* * *

We had Date Night last weekend. Went to hear one of DH's all-time favorite bands, The Church. It was the last stop on their 30th Anniversary tour. Thirty. Years. OfRockandRoll. Pretty amazing. Maybe you don't remember the Church; they only really had 1 hit in the U.S., "Under the Milky Way," which I'm sure you'd know if you heard it. My only memory of that song from high school is being about 15, and at a party where all the lights were low, and I knew someone was drinking beer and shouldn't be, and I felt uncomfortable and unsure. So I just stared quietly at VH-1, where the blue, watery-looking video was playing.

I never knew anything about their other music until I met DH, but when he put one of their songs on a mix CD for me early in our relationship (a mix CD! how quaint!), called 'Almost With You,' I was hooked. I've seen them twice before, and we both agreed it was one of -- if not the -- best show(s) we've ever seen. Not just of The Church, but of any band. (I feel like I say that after every concert I've seen in the last 10 years. Bon Jovi, U2, Billy Idol...) It was a small venue, and they chatted with the audience -- literally bantering with people between songs -- and there was this enormous mutual respect going on. Because they've been around so long, the band members have come to this profound gratitude for their fans, I think -- who've stuck by them through the requisite breakups, overdoses, and comebacks. And the fans... well, the type of music they play has a lot to do with fan loyalty, I think. It's deep, thought-provoking, with intelligent lyrics and memorable, but complicated and sometimes dark melodies. I think it just grabs hold on a deeper emotional level than a lot of music, so the fans are much more connected.

One thing we loved was the audience. Someone commented to me before the show started that "the guys have all gotten so OLD!" meaning the band. But I looked around at the fellow concert-goers... uh, yeah. If you give a flip about this band, you're pretty much old. The show started exactly at 8:30, as promised (OLD). They did 3 encores, but we were home before midnight the way God intended.

It was really great, and we're both still on concert-high, where all we want to listen to is The Church. I love that. What's the latest show you've seen?

My Dog Ate My Homework

You'd think as an editor slash writer, I could come up with headlines for my own blog. But I'll admit: I've always had trouble with headlines. Even professionally.

It was all I could think of, because this is going to sound like an excuse, but I'm not thinking of it that way. I skipped my workout last night. We had a 4pm art exhibit at school, an unexpected Tball practice, and my in laws arrived yesterday. Dinner was at 8 pm. Kids went to bed at 9.

I've decided "30 consecutive days" is just not practical for... well, for anyone really. But particularly not for me. So I had to skip last night. (I've only skipped twice during this thing, plus the 3 days I was sick.) I don't workout if it's past 9:00 before I can attempt to change clothes.

However, I'm still in the MINDSET of "30 consecutive days," which is a change for me. I'm planning to workout tonight as if I were still on-track. In all the times I've tried before, one slip has led to a complete fall off the wagon. It was, 'Oh, now I'll never finish... it's over. Might as well not even keep trying."

This time, I just change my mental day-counter and continue. So today becomes Day 20 and I'm still on my health kick. Or, I should clarify -- my fitness kick. Because the strawberry pie I made last week (even though it's pretty low in calories) isn't exactly helping my health. Still, a fitness kick is a good kick to be on. I'm happy about it.

Home

I'm working at home today. Oh, working at home, how I have missed you so!! I love sitting next to my kitchen window, with only the QUIET sounds of Napoleon snoring and my dryer finishing a load of whites -- nothing to disturb me! I'm writing an article about going green today, so I've got all the lights turned off, the blinds open, and the appliances unplugged. (Well, not ALL of them, but the ones I can unplug.) I get up every once in a while with purpose. To go swipe down a bathroom or let Puppy out -- not to idly walk to the restroom. I am getting a lot done without the stupid phone or inane chatter to interrupt me.

Home, hommmmmmmme! It's too bad we spend so little time here.

Speaking of home, one of my dumb insecurities was relieved last night during Book Club. I have been thinking a lot about my 1986 kitchen cabinets and ugly off-white Formica countertops. They embarrass me. So, while looking covetously at the hostess' beautiful granite, I came right out and asked, and guess what? Neither girl in attendance could recall what my cabinets look like. Nor have they ever thought, "el-e-e's kitchen is ugly." My longtime friend Melissa said, "You know what I notice about your house? The pictures of your kids. And the way it always smells good."

I tell myself these things, but it's so nice to hear them being spoken.

Home is where the heart is, it's true. And that's a serious cliche of a transition sentence, but I'm glad to be here today. One final reason: A florist delivery man just left my front doorstep. He dropped off a dozen roses from my Darling Husband, with whom I celebrate 9 years today. What a happy anniversary for me!

Gratitude check

--- Whew. That was rough. I didn't eat for 2 days. I supposedly lost 4.5 pounds. I am grateful that's over, and REALLY grateful that I have a husband who took care of me and handled the household while I was sick and useless!

--- I am still loving T-ball. Probably more than the T-ball player, himself, at this point. Last night's game, although it was at 7 pm (LET ME RESTATE: TOO LATE FOR 5-6 YR-OLDS!), was amazing. These kids have finally come together as a team, each one doing his or her part, playing with and FOR each other. They still fall over their feet sometimes, or play in the outfield dirt -- it's still Little League after all -- but they also score their first home runs. Not AJ, but his teammate MC, one of the older boys on the team who works really hard and LOVES baseball. SMACKED one over the fence. His Dad jumped up and down. Team Mom opened the dugout door and all the other kids ran to home plate to congratulate him as he came home. Big moment! It. Was. Awesome. I nearly cried for a kid who's not even my own! (Am nearly crying now, typing it up.) It's just enormously fun, watching kids grow up.

And P.S. opposing team coaches: Trash-talk is not cool at this age. Come On. DH tells me that the kid standing on the pitcher's mound (who wasn't pitching - this is coach-pitch baseball, and DH is our pitcher) was saying all kinds of rude things about each of our batters. "Oooh, bummer, a GIRL." when our pink-helmeted Caroline was up, and "Oh look, a 2-year old!" at AJ's turn. NOT COOL, coaches. There's no place for that crap in wholesome family t-ball. Rrrr. Mama Bear.

--- The weather. Finally spring. Last night it was 74 beautiful degrees for our game. Perfection.

--- Quiet week at work so I can be sick, and now in the last part of the week, accomplish some important lunchtime errands. Sigh..... errands. Oh well, grateful I have them.

Derailed

Of course. Of COURSE the one time I get really, really motivated and want to DO THIS THING to the nth degree, I get sick.

I did Day 12 yesterday, but that was right before I began throwing up etcetra (TMI, sorry), so no suprise, I didn't even finish it. And I'm unsure if I'll be able to do it tonight, either. I haven't been able to eat much of anything besides crackers and Ginger Ale and feeling generally weak.

Dammit. I was going to DO 30 days straight! Oh well. I'll be tacking 2 days on to the end, I guess. So now it's May 7 toward which we're counting down.

Bah.

The difficult things I do

Day 9 was hard last night. I didn't wanna. Luckily, the 20 minutes goes much faster the more you do this stinking workout, but I will admit last night I was whiny before getting started.

Not to worry -- I GOT R DONE. I hate Level 1.

At least yesterday's job task was out of the ordinary. I am planning a small "fashion" spread in our little women's wellness magazine, so I had to go shopping. (Had to.) I like a day where I'm not in the office, but am doing work. Especially one that involves the mall!

But it is difficult for me to spend money like that. And even though it's the company's money, which I kept telling myself -- you're spending someone else's money; shop like you're NOT YOU, pretend you're [my friend who's a good shopper]; don't worry, your budget is padded for this -- I still had to use my own credit card. Which DH had JUST paid off the night before. It hurt a little. Especially when USAA called my cell phone as I was driving back to the office -- to make sure all those charges weren't fraudulent. HA!! They're not used to me spending nearly $300 at a pop.

I did find an $80 Kenneth Cole blouse on major sale for $20 -- and an awesome pair of $80 shoes to match -- so guess what, I will be keeping those after the photoshoot. Heh. That's the upside of using my own credit card. I just won't turn that particular receipt in! (Hey, I HAD to try the shoes on, anyway. Shoe departments get particularly suspicious if you buy a pair without trying them on.)

8 Days A Week

I have been keeping a secret from you. It's not a big deal, but it is, kinda. I haven't kept it from everyone, just this particular space. Guess I just haven't been ready to reflect on the whole situation yet. Sometimes if you think too much -- more than 140 characters, for instance -- you ruin it.

Here it is:

I've done Level 1 of the frickinfrakkin 30 Day Shred every day for 8 days. I swore to myself I wouldn't post anything about it here until I'd gotten through a full 8 days -- don't know why I picked that number, maybe because I knew I wouldn't be able to hold out any longer than that.

EIGHT. DAAAYYYYYYYS, Y'ALL!!!!!! Maybe it doesn't sound like much to you, but me? Working out 8 days in a row without fail? Is a pretty significant accomplishment.

I've been doing it mostly at night, after the kids go to bed. It's not that hard to fit in Jillian's 20 minutes; I don't know why I thought it was, before. I still get to watch my weeknight shows (ahem, fall asleep on the couchevenduringthefinal6episodesofLOSTOMG!!) and get to bed by 11:00-ish. Last night I managed to make AJ's lunch and fold a load of laundry, as well. On Sunday, I did it in the morning, both kids underfoot, and guess what? They didn't care. AJ did it with me, actually. And then, since I wasn't doing it again until Monday night, I felt so grateful that I had "a long break." HA! My brain has been scrambled.

My endurance is improving. Those cardio butt-kicks? Easy-peasy. Although last night I tried to use larger hand weights (5 lbs each) and ... uh, no. I'll stick with 2.5 for now. Heh.

I'm pretty sick of Level 1, but determined to do it for TEN DAYS and then switch, because Level 2 is going to be such a welcome relief. I'm actually looking forward to feeling SORE on Day 12, after Level 2's inaugural run.

I'm hopeful that there will be visible results, but I also know to keep my expectations in check. I am counting calories too, but not being very strict about it. (Last night's jelly bean overdose as an example. These modern jelly beans from Starburst and Jolly Rancher, my goodness! So yummy! So soft!) My long-term plan is to FINISH this 30 days, to ACCOMPLISH a fitness goal for once in my life, and then rotate in more yoga and pilates. Maybe walking/jogging. Maybe even have a rest day. Mostly I want to be beach-ready. I have hated myself in my bathing suits the last 3 beach trips.

So, that's it. Health kick!

Tending

Something I notice is that when I see the lady who tends all the plants in our building, I feel a little jealous of her. She's quiet, unassuming, and walks around with her watering can and spray bottle, in a beige uniform shirt and work boots.

I used to get this same feeling when, on a weekday, I would see landscaping people in people's yards, or on the grounds of a corporate building. Especially if they were women. Tending little pansies and peonies in the middle of a Wednesday -- imagine! What a pleasant life that must be, I think.

The irony is that my Career Skill Set does not include plant-tending. I've killed many a houseplant and even some in the yard, accidentally, over the years. (I think it's because I don't have TIME to tend them properly, but you could argue it's a real-live black thumb.) I also don't do any of our yardwork at home; I leave it to DH. I babysit, he tends the garden.

Anyway, I think being a plant-tender/landscaping assistant would be a pleasant existence. "Touch the earth every day," is a simple living mantra I've liked. Maybe it's my farming roots calling to me.

What's something completely surprising that you think you'd enjoy?

Perfect Easter

For me, it was perfect.

We woke up early, AJ rushing downstairs to find the Bunny's treasures, and me whispering, "Wait! Wait for everyone!" behind him, as I watched the adults (Mom and Dad came up to stay with us) stumble into their pants and rub their eyes. Hee. The rest of us caught up and the kids marveled at all the CANDY. Admittedly, there wasn't as much as some years; the Bunny tried to restrain herself in light of all my Jamie Oliver talk. Pinwheels, a frisbee, a book or two, stickers, and Hex bugs rounded out their baskets.

But chocolate for breakfast is totally allowed on this one day of the year. (In fact, I was so lenient that KT ate chocolate all day. We'd find her trolling the plastic eggs looking for more treats, at various quiet times during the day. She used our busy kitchen duties to her full advantage and found a lot of times to sneak away.)

After that -- and seriously, no real breakfast -- we went back upstairs to get ready for 9:00 a.m. Mass. We did this last year, and pulled it off, so we thought we'd try it again. Easter miracles, indeed -- we made it with plenty of time to spare, no meltdowns, and found both parking and an empty pew into which no usher attempted to squeeze any more than the 6 of us. I was feeling guilty for the luxury of comfortable seating the whole time, but... eh. If the usher isn't aware that he could seat 2 more parishioners, Not Really My Problem. The kids were even well behaved.

We had two funny things happen during Mass. One was by our own kid. KT, at one point before Communion but after the readings I think, said aloud, "I weady to go home now." Clear as a bell. I don't think anyone heard her but the folks directly near us, but it had us giggling. And the second was during the Consecration. We had just sung, "Christ has died, Christ is risen, Christ will come again!" when another baby on the other side of church shouted, "YAYYYY!" I mean, right in rhythm. The priest actually had to stop and calm his own giggles for that one. He smiled and said, "AY-MEN." It was awesome. Made the whole church happy.

I whispered to DH during Mass that I Wanted to Take Pictures afterwards, out in front under the cherry trees. Because he needs a preemptive warning, otherwise he'll rush off to the car toute de suite. I'm all for hanging around to see if there's anyone who wants to chat with us after we leave Mass (there never is) but he's OUT the door. Heh. It doesn't bother me (parking IS sort of difficult there) but think it's funny. Anyway, we took some pictures that, if I do say so myself, turned out beautifully. We found our cars and headed home where the front-yard egg hunt awaited.

Fast forward to the cooking. I had planned a simple but nice Easter dinner. Mom and I tottered around the kitchen from about 11:00 until we served at 3:30, but it was so nice. We were able to kind-of cook one thing at a time so it didn't feel rushed at all. AJ was oblivious, working on his new Word Search puzzle book. DH and my Dad did some work out in the yard, which I know tired them out. Maybe for them it wasn't exactly the Perfect, relaxing Easter Sunday, but still. (They were out of my kitchen, which was helpful. Thank you, dear hardworking men!) I was worried that since KT was so busy eating chocolate and hadn't napped, we'd have a meltdown right at serving time. Didn't happen. She managed just fine, ate lots of corn and ham, and didn't even break the Lenox plate I let her use. We ate:

Honey Baked Ham
Mashed Potatoes
Corn on the Cob
Sweet and Sour Green Beans
Deviled Eggs
Dinner Rolls (from frozen, are you kidding?)

and Strawberry Shortcake for dessert. Dinner was slow, and conversation lively. I like that. I don't like when holiday dinners are over in fifteen minutes, all that work gone with barely enough time to acknowledge it.

We cleaned. Again, it was enjoyable, and comforting, to stand there with my Mom washing, me hand-drying, playing with my wedding pretties. :) I love that we went ahead and used the good china and silver. I was inspired by the simple minded suburbanite to attempt to create some kind of little legacy for my kids. I hope it worked. Afterwards, we sat down with a glass of something to drink (white wine for me, Dr. Pepper for Mom), and after I put KT to bed -- At 6:30 p.m., another miracle -- we could just reflect on what a lovely day it had been.

I just wanted to record all that. A Major Holiday so stress-free and easy is truly a treasure I want to remember.

New (somewhat ranty, somewhat linky) Things

I've/we've been doing some new things. Starting with the most important and ending with the least:

1. Going to Confession. Well, I did it once. Last week. I had been kinda hoping to get to go to our parish's Reconciliation Service, but it was on a Monday night at 7:00 pm and I didn't see how I could get the whole family there, or even just myself and AJ, and get him home by bedtime. I know I need to start going again because AJ's first confession LOOMS in 2nd grade! Luckily (or not), the Music Director called and, whoops! He needed a cantor at the last minute, and couldn't I come step in for him? I think God might have wanted me there, no? Or, heard me thinking, "I wish I could go..." and found a way to Make It Happen. Thanks, God! So anyway, it was a long wait in line even though they had 15 priests there to help, and the confession itself was your run-of-the-mill "Impatient with spouse and children, Don't always get to church every Sunday, Say a Rosary for penance" kind of confession. I went back and forth being nervous and not caring, although I can't go anywhere NEAR a penance service without crying just a little. It's all so holy! And emotional! I love it, in a way. I enjoyed imagining all the sad, guilt-ridden little prayers and wishes of all the different people whispering to various priests, prayers rising up into the air and then being gently blown away into the clean, clean air. It's nice imagery. (And then there's the annoying "Rules" about going once a year, and the "Why don't all the other Christians have to?" thoughts. Heh. It's a constant conflict, Catholicism.)

2. Going to Urgent Care. And seeing my baby boy have to deal with something that he didn't expect. Something that embarassed him (an ugly rash and accompanying set of big ol' blisters on his little cherubic face, poor thing). Something that he had to learn to explain to his friends without breaking down because they're thinking, if not saying outright, "OMG, what IS that?" It's been a learning experience for us both. Mommy learning to accept that he's going to get hurt in this life, and him learning (hopefully) to be brave, to not listen to what others say/think about him, and to accept people even when they have weird growths on their faces. Man. Heavy stuff.

3. Watching a whole lot of Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution. Well, I mean it's only been broadcacst twice, but I'm smitten with the show. And I'm posting about it because all of you guys should watch. For one thing, who doesn't love Jamie's accent?! He is a cutie pie. It's been eye-opening and mirror-pointing, in that I've realized just how much CRAP I actually feed my own kids on a daily basis. I know I'm much less of a food a**hole (hat tip, Kristen) than most of the mom-bloggers I read. I sent AJ to school with ABCs and 123s (the orange ones) for lunch today, along with a Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pie, okay? And I do that regularly. He eats Oscar Meyer bologna. (Baked) Cheetos. Trix yogurt. (He also eats fruit every day, just so you're not calling DFCS on me, righteous food a-holes!) HOWEVER. I want to try to be better about all this. I'm really, really trying to serve the kids more fruits and vegetables, and my mission over the next few months is going to be to start trying them out on some new meal options. This, for instance. For another thing, I'm trying to substitute, in my mind -- on nights when I want to just take the easy route and order a pizza, I'm trying to do a fruit/crackers/cheese dinner instead. As long as you're reading about it, a great ranty link about this subject (and others) is at supercool Rita Arens' blog today. AMEN!! But still. This topic has been in the forefront of my brain for the last 3 weeks.

4. One final New Thing. I cleaned out my sock drawer. Remember? From the to-do list How many weeks ago?? It's done. That's new.

History repeats itself

The lovely and articulate Arwen posted yesterday about how we love our children differently, because they are different little people, after all. The part that rang truest for me was about how we, as parents, are in a different time in our lives when each child is born, so naturally we notice and appreciate the kids' traits in different ways. (Think I could use that word one more time?? Different!)

But ON THE OTHER HAND. Wow, are all kids the same when it comes to toddler tantrums. We've been seeing KT's dark side lately -- more specifically, I've been seeing it. She doesn't seem to wind up to eleven as much for her Daddy -- and it's eerily similar to when AJ was a whiny, fit-pitching 2 (and 3 and 4) year old.

Last night, let's see, what set her off first? I wouldn't give her an M&M before dinner. Right. And then it was, "Juuuuuuuice. I wanna juice." And 30 seconds later, "NO JUICE. [hits table for emphasis]" And then the wailing and whining began in earnest, for no reason, and continued all through dinner. We took her upstairs for a serious, In Your Crib Time-Out, but even that didn't stop her. It was just one of those nights, I guess. She got mad that I took her saggy, falling off diaper completely off. I think she wanted to do it herself. She got so pissed off during her bath that we removed her, barely washed, and put her to bed with no stories.

I know it's all minor, and thanks to my being in a different place in life, I have better perspective on it than 3 years ago, when I was convinced AJ was posessed by the devil. I mean, yeah I still get worked up by it, but it doesn't drive me to tears (or hasn't yet). Aside: I nearly melt after she's had a good crying jag and gets those hiccupy, short little sniffling spells. Hhhh-hhh-hhaaaaaaa. So cute. And sad.

But my, how history repeats itself.

Sorting out what's in my head

It's not wasting time when your brain needs the relief of blogging. Getting it all out, out, OUT!

I have one hour before I leave for my lunch break. During that break I'm going home to do a little cleaning. We have weekend guests coming (KT's favorite UNC SHAAAAANE!), and I haven't been to the grocery store yet this week, plus we're getting a new roof put on the house tomorrow (insurance is paying, score!) and have to prepare somewhat tonight, plus plus. Whatever other required tasks (plenty).

Such as: KT's class is learning about toothbrushing this week, and requested that we send it a spare clean toothbrush, and a photo of her brushing her teeth. Um. If I had time to go somewhere and print photos, I wouldn't be ONE YEAR BEHIND on my own albums. I opted NOT to participate in that activity, and I'm sorry about it, but Lordy. Make a big trip to Walgreen's to print one photo?! Can't do it. (Guess we need to get a photo printer for our computer now.)

So it's crazy, as usual.

I'm trying not to freak out and continuously note how crazy it is, but to just take these things one at a time and know they are part of a full, rich, blessed life.

(...Yeah, right. You all know good and well I'm flustered a little bit.)

But I'll tell you what I've decided: Having a T-ball schedule is somewhat of an anchor -- a comfort, even. I like looking at the practice calendar, which is planned out until MAY. In my own life, I'm never "planned" that far ahead! And at least on T-ball nights, we have a Plan. I can serve a quickie dinner and have a very logical reason --no guilt-- in doing so. If it's a game, I know I'm going to be on the bleachers for 1.5 hours. There is a nice grounded feeling with that -- and it rules out having to squeeze in chores. Sorry, can't - I'm at the ballpark! If it's a practice, KT and I will play for a while while the boys go out, then I'll put her to bed. Sometimes I have five whole minutes to myself, and I'm usually pretty sure they'll bring me a dessert or a drink from Dairy Queen when they come home.

In fact, as I was typing this, I got a call from the T-ball coach and it reminded me that there's a practice tonight. I had forgotten. ?!!! What was I saying about anchored, comforted? Hahahahahaaaaa.

Life just goes so fast, sometimes. Good THING I blog it, or it would be lost forever in a memory blur.

xo Kisses! xo

My fatal mistake was making it all public

That list. It's sitting down there mocking me. Stupid, stupid me to get so ambitious out here in the open where everyone can see! Monday was a fail, right? Then Tuesday morning, I woke up at 5:00 a.m. to puke. (Oh, hello there! Got your attention didn't it?) I felt better by noon, stayed careful by having broth and Sprite for lunch. Tuesday evening, KT puked all over the couch. And then twice in her bed. The parents' gold-medal event is always Puke Patrol in the middle of the night right? We went in there like a well-trained team -- he handled the sheet-changing, I handled the kid-clean-up, wham-bam, back into bed in 10 minutes or less. Annnnnnd... Wednesday, AJ's school nurse called and DH had to pick him up. Puke again! Which is how I find myself working from home with him today. What a week.

I guess the photo albums are going to have to wait, huh?

AJ and I are going to work for a while (he's on the Mac, I'm on my work laptop, on opposite sides of the kitchen table - cute!), I hope he'll do some coloring -- he's been really into coloring this little comic book lately -- and we'll probably head to Wal-Mart for a few essentials (LYSOL WIPES) later today.

I'm just thankful it's a little stomach bug that seems to go away, and not H1N1. Since we never did get our shots.

What're you doing today?

Monday fail

I did none of the things on my list. Wait, I read a chapter of my book. Felt crappy due to a lingering -- impending? -- cold, and just went to bed early. Hoping to make the salad quick-like tonight before dinner. Sock drawer, bills, and laundry... well, thank goodness for DH doing laundry. :) Still. Gotta have goals.