Reminders

Print out the school's PDF and highlight books I think AJ will like, on his reading level, so that he will stop saying he "can't find" any Accelerated Reader books in the library, and CHECK OUT A BOOK, for the love.

Work with AJ on his King Penguin shoe-box diorama (kill me), due Wednesdsay.

Ask daycare for a list of KT's classmates; address invitations for her birthday party.

Bring various items to school on various days, for various volunteer and service projects. (So. many. different. projects! I mostly hate Catholic Schools' Week.)

Buy KT some more dresses because she is refusing all pants and t-shirts lately (she wants to "be pretty, Mommy"). I don't have the energy to fight with her on this and I don't mind buying them.

Buy AJ some new uniform sweatpants because they have now become high-waters (regular uniform pants took that road 3 months ago). Thank God that he's growing, and continue praying for it.

Don't skip my running at lunchtime, at least THREE TIMES THIS WEEK, SELF.

Go to the makeup store to see if they have something miraculous for the horrifying depressing dark circles that have recently appeared under my eyes. At 37.5, I guess I'm not surprised.

Figure out what dish to take to the annual Super Bowl party next Sunday. Buffalo dip (fun)?? Or veggies (smart/sad trumpet)?

Also take an adult beverage to that party.

Smile.

Clogged and Clammed Up, but Excited...

Ear status: Still frakking clogged.


No, I am not kidding. The doctor gave me amoxicillin, the weakest of the antibiotics, so I hear (HA), and so far I have experienced zero relief. She said it might take up to 3 weeks. Once in a while if I perform the Valsalva Maneuver (which I did not know had a crazy name! until last week), I can get a nice crackle and pop on the right side, and hear a little better out of that one for 30 minutes. But it doesn't last and isn't worth the possibility of blowing brains out my eyes when I do it, so I don't, very often.

Aren't I lovely? I'm really over this.
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We have exciting news in our family -- BIL and SIL are having a baby! They just announced it officially last night, but we have secretly known for a few weeks and been saying some prayers since they miscarried a few years back. I actually didn't think they would try again, but they did, and she's now at 12 weeks. I'm going to be an AUNT! I thought maybe I never would, officially, although I do have some sweet little cousins-once-removed who have called me Auntie Lee-Lee in the past.

We hung up the phone last night with them, and DH said, "She sounded nervous." OH, do I ever remember that feeling, when you're first starting to tell people! It's SUCH a secret, and if it's your first baby, you've never told anyone a secret like this before. And it's personal besides, letting everyone including your in-laws know what you've been DOING! Shock! So it's uncomfortable in so many ways. I don't blame her for feeling nervous.

Besides all that, SIL never really talks to us on the phone - the brothers talk, but not us girls so much. Maybe I'll have to remedy that and become more attentive to her as she begins to experience motherhood. I've wanted to be close to this SIL -- she doesn't have a sister of her own, only brothers -- but I'm so NOT a phone person anymore, and we don't live in the same city, and she's not really (from what I can tell) an email person -- so that all makes it hard.

We do share quite a bit in common. Both like to read, and cook, both go to sleep early (her, intentionally, me, by accident most nights), both try to workout regularly (she has more success than I do), both quiet, for the most part. I like her very much and I know I'm lucky in that.

But even last night, I felt like my brain clammed up and I didn't quite know what to say. I kept saying, "That is so great, we are so happy for you...." and I truly meant those things, but I couldn't think what else you're supposed to offer at this stage. Is that weird? I didn't want to say the WRONG thing, and of course I asked her how she'd been feeling and her due date, but... isn't that it, at this point? Oh, right, and "are you going to find out if it's a boy or a girl?" I think they volunteered that info (they are). I don't know. I hope I haven't forgotten everything about being pregnant, and that I can think of all the right things to say if she asks me for any advice (which I hope she does). I feel like I HAVE forgotten. (Thank God, right?) I'm going to email her right now and hopefully sound sincere in offering whatever I can do.

An Aunt! And DH an UNCLE!!

I can't hear you

My ears are stuffed with cotton. They have been for 3 days now, so I'm going to the doctor today. I expect she'll pull a Mac truck out of the left side. Last night when I lay down with Kate, my head/left ear was on her fluffy fleece blanket, which obviously muffles sound. When I lifted my head up after about 10 minutes, there was no change in the muffled-ness of my hearing on that side. No change! Sigh. This morning when I woke up it felt like something was sloshing around in that one (braaaaaains?????) but it has since stopped.

I just want to apologize IF I AM YELLING. Because seriously, I cannot hear a damn thing.

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This week I have arrived at the chapter in my Organizational/Productivity book (yes, still reading it), where you zero out your Inbox. I am excited and nervous. I am terrible about keeping every email I get. And I have 4 different Inboxes, total, so that's a lot of useless storage. Has anyone ever done this? I am planning to say, "I'm sorry, all my old emails got deleted, you'll need to resend" if I get into any sort of email-needing-situation.  

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Yesterday I spent a good portion of my lunch hour more time than I should have reading the articles and looking at the pictures NPR posted for their special report, Russia By Rail. I've never been that interested in Russia, its language or its culture, but this report (I heard it on the radio first) was excellent. I feel like I understand the cultural climate there better, and I was surprised how well I can relate to the people's mindset, as reported in this article, anyway. It talks about how the younger generations there (30s, 40s) want to see change in Russia's government and economy, but they're not really ready to fight for that change, or take drastic measure themselves. They'd rather kind-of wait and see what happens. And this is exactly how I have felt about my husbands' and my jobs. Both of us would probably like to sweep everything away and start over in different careers, doing something we love, but neither of us is at all willing to get crazy, which is what it would require to facilitate that kind of big change. So we just kind-of wait. See what happens.

I think I like the Russians.

I can't imagine wearing the fur coats all the damn time, though like the folks in Siberia and Vladivostok (love that word and how it feels to say it!). I'm wearing a turtleneck today and it's already making me a little claustrophobic at 8:04 a.m.

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When KT is bored with something, she says, "bored out." I love this phrase and think all of us should start saying it. "I'm bored out, y'all." No idea where she got that but it's perfect.

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I read on Dr. Google that if you think your child has an ear infection, you should make sure they get plenty of rest and don't exert too much. Naturally that means I haven't run yet this week. Haven't run since last Thursday, in fact. I am super-bummed about it, but I know that in the C25K program, they allow for repeating weeks. Life happens. I think I'd rather get well first, run 6 minutes straight later. I am not quitting.

Twelve-fifteen on the treadmill

It's almost time for me to head downstairs to the treadmill. On Tuesday I did my Couch-to-5K run and a miracle occurred: I ran for five minutes without stopping! I should say, "jogged," because I'm keeping the pace NICE AND SLOW, but people, this is -- truly -- a brief miracle. Five minutes!

I just wanted to TRY the program. I wasn't convinced I could actually do it. And I'm only halfway there, I guess there's still no guarantee I will finish it. But all of a sudden I realized: this form of exercise which I have heretofore abhorred and decried (yes, THAT dramatic), is the only kind of exercise that's given me a feeling of accomplishment, in great measure. When I did the 30-Day Shred I was proud for slogging through it; glad when I could get through Level Three (or heck, even Level One's cardio segments were a killer), but I definitely didn't feel like I wanted to do it any FURTHER. It's just punishment. Miserable. And she yells at you. And thus, after about 25 days or so, I basically stopped.

Plain-old walking, my typical exercise of choice, is perfectly fine, but utterly devoid of the sense of achievement.

But with this, somehow I feel each success -- even with all the yucky sweating and the bad music that the Christian Alternative C25K podcaster-guy chooses (horrible! I really need to download something else) -- and it altogether encourages me. Endorphins for the win! It makes me excited to try again, and see how far I can get. Can I do six minutes? I think maybe by next week I CAN.

I don't know who I am anymore! *back of hand to forehead, wilts to nearby chaise lounge*

(I hope it lasts.)

Grumpy pants (little things)

I have the blahs today. Everyone at my office is annoying, and the work I do is stupid and not inspiring (today), and the people in charge are horrible. In fact today was described to us as a special holiday, office closed... but then the people in charge changed their minds. So I feel like I shouldn't have to be here but I AM.

My throat has been sore basically since Christmas. I don't have other symptoms so I don't feel it's necessary to go to the doctor. But I'm tired of having a sore throat.

The weather's dreary, and I feel fat and unsuccessful at losing a single pound, even though I limited myself to ONE bowl of chili during yesterday's football games when I would have gladly had two, and that doesn't seem fair.

KT fussed at me all morning and cried because of a variety of things, but mostly because she is 3.

I woke up at 3:17 this morning and thought, "Oh, good, I still have 2 hours PLUS left to sleep." But then I couldn't fall back asleep for at least 30 minutes and I just lay there and stewed about how many minutes I was LOSING.

And I have errands to do at my lunch hour, which prevents me from working out at lunchtime, and that pisses me off. I know that a good shot of endorphins would help my mood. I should go for a couple of 10 minute walks, I KNOW, but guess what? I couldn't carry my gym bag (with shoes) this morning because of all the other crap I had to carry. No shoes = no walking because the shoes I did wear are not even very comfortable.

I read yet ANOTHER article about how we should never eat anything processed, ever, because the big farms and commercial food processing plants are EVIL and FILTHY and horrible, and normally I would dismiss reports like that as bullshit, but today I wondered if maybe it isn't true, and I don't WANT to believe any of that so why do the reports keep coming out? (Don't answer.)

I think my mood is actually getting worse as I type, so I'd better sign off. I hate Mondays.

Books for 2012

I want to do more intentional reading this year. I miss my Kindle. I bought The Hunger Games triology in hardback because they were clearly worth having/preserving. Although I finished them in about 3 weeks, that was right before the weekends of Christmas shopping and planning, and then celebrating. I picked up another book during the holidays (21: Bringing Down the House), and it's been good so far but I'm not quite into the thick of it yet. It's in paperback, besides... so, short story long, I haven't been on the Kindle in a long while. Not since Still Alice, I think, which was a great book but many months ago in my life!

So I've been thinking about the books I want to read in 2012. Of course the resolution I didn't write down but did actually think about -- and the one which is likely most important for having a good year -- is to grow closer to God and to nurture my faith. But the task of doing that on my own, just by adding a regular prayer-time to every day...? Probably not very realistic. (Definitely not very realistic.) Then I thought, "HEY, I could read an inspiring BOOK to help accomplish that end! Perfect!" Two birds, one stone, right?

And finally, the third reason is that my dear, darling Book Club has somehow not met for about 4 months now. This is the longest I think we've gone on a break, and yes, our kids are all older and busier now, and we know we'll get together again someday, but I think it's time to send out an email and see what the deal is! And get some book recommendations from that end!

So, here is a list of some books I'd like to read. I'm drawing some of these from the excellent lists I've seen around the blogosphere, like Lag Liv's, and Bessie V's, and Jennifer Fulwiler's! But please, feel free to chime in and suggest others!

The Girl Who Stopped Swimming, Joshilyn Jackson. I have loved her other books and it's wayyyyy past time for me to read this one. The title alone is completely intriguing and it's been in the back of my mind since before it was published.

Sharon Kay Pennman: Here Be Dragons Thank you, RRA and LagLiv! Historical fiction is my absolute favorite and I can't wait to try this author.

Committed, by Elizabeth Gilbert. I think I read Eat, Pray Love in 2011. It was fantastic. I have heard this one's even better.

Love in the Ruins: Walker Percy. This one came from Jennnifer's list of book recommendations from Catholic bloggers, hot off the press!

He Leadeth Me by Walter Ciszek. Jennifer recommends this one a lot and I think it sounds fascinating. Probably for Lent (as she suggests).

Golden Bones by Sichan Siv. The author is married to a high school friend of my Mom's, and this has been on my shelf a while. It's not my usual fare and I will likely need something to separate it from He Leadeth Me, as they're both about wrongfully imprisoned men. Might be a little much for one year but we'll see.

Bossypants, Tina Fey, since everyone else already read it. :)

Maybe something from Jodi Picoult, because it's been a while, and I have liked everything I've read of hers.


What else should I be reading?

2012 Goals

There are a few things on my list this year that I didn't mention. So I don't forget them:

1. Learn how to make real frosting. We made a cake for New Year's Eve and I used Pillsbury's canned chocolate frosting. I'm sorry, Pillsbury, in general I do love you, but I've decided that canned frosting is not worth my $2.49.
2. Have our giant yard sale and clean up the basement.
3. Get my personal business files in order and create The Spreadsheet.
4. Contact a law office and get our wills written.
5. Continue working out and possibly run a 5K. Possibly, I said.
6. Do better with vegetables and my kids. (KT ate - and loved - spinach yesterday though! Cooked spinach!)
7. My photo albums. This will be finished by the end of January, so help me God.
8. Finish replacing all the blinds in our house. (There are a few rooms with old-style, crumbling venetian (metal) blinds, and I hate them.)
9. Paint/redecorate the master bath.
10. Clean all the tile/grout. Three bathrooms, one toothbrush, hands and knees. I haven't done it in a very long time and it shows!!

Ta-da!! The 2011 Year-End Meme, slighly shortened

Oh, I seeee... people are getting weary of the Questionnaire. Think they don't NEED that old antiquated MEME any more, now that the Internet's all grown up and we can do it our own selves. Well. Back in MY day...

You know, I agree. I guess I'm a little tired of the format, too, but how else do we start?

Overall, I would say that 2011 has been a great year -- I can't complain, truly. We did have a broken arm situation, and some financial stuff that was annoying in our immediate vicinity, but other than that no major troubles! Woo hoo!


1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
The aforementioned broken arm was new! I never broke a bone and had no idea how that all works. In fact I had previously worried, as one might when one's never gone into labor before, "How will we KNOW if it's bad enough to go to the hospital?" Now I know. I also helped throw a surprise 70th birthday party for my Dad -- never done that before. :) I took the week of Spring Break off work to spend with AJ. I want to do that every year now!

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Last year I was feeling smug and forlorn at the same time, and so I made very simple resolutions which I mostly kept. I said then, flossing more than 'hardly ever' will be EASY. Heh. I did floss a little bit more than the previous year, so I WIN. I ate a bit more yogurt in 2011, yes, but I still don't love it. Eh. Who really cares. And my 2 dinner parties, I think, happened. One of them was very early in the year, and the other was Christmas dinner which barely counts, since it was hosting my parents... but I say Win.
Funnily enough, although I REFUSED to make a health-kick "Resolution" last year, I did do better overall in 2011 than ever before. I know I have mentioned that I signed up for Sparkpeople.com, and it did help me in many ways, stick to my routine. I was quite faithful February through May, then the hot months came along and it was harder, but I used the treadmill and didn't really backslide until September/October/November. I started the Couch to 5K in the end of November and I'm still trying to do that. So perhaps the answer is DON'T RESOLVE, JUST DO.

(Good grief, this is just the 2nd question! I may skip several of them.)
No one close to me gave birth, or died, and I visited no countries.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
I always say "Lottery winnings" but I will also include Solid Nights' Sleep more often than not. This year was a tough sleep year.

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
This sounds ridiculous, but Feb 21st is my "Sparkiversary" (haha, embarrassed glancing as I use nerdy insider terminology) and I'm trying to have made some real progress/success by 2/21/12;
June 10 - the weekend of, because we were all together with my parents and sister/brother-in-law, and that rarely happens;
Sept. 11 -- the 10th anniversary was quite a Thing, wasn't it? Our community did a big display of 3,500 US flags in a huge park, and it was breathtaking. We drove by it every day for a week.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I hate to say this but there was a work project that took a huge majority of my time, but it was/is successful and made me look good to my peers. I am proud of it, although I wasn't the only one on the committee. I also have to cite our PAINTING project at home, because it was so long in the making and changed the look of that room so pleasantly/dramatically.

9. What was your biggest failure?
This doesn't keep me up at night, but we did fail to save as much money as we would have liked this year, and also failed to get our wills written. That is going to be a HUGE goal for 2012 -- the wills, I mean. We've been meaning to do it for (gulp) 7 years at least, since AJ was born.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Boring question, and no.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
We bought DH a new car in January, and it's been so good for him to drive something cool and not my old beat-up '97 Corolla. I think he feels like a real man again. Ha. We also bought a new refrigerator (awesome), a new water heater (unexpected) and a new water main line (lame)! So I've now answered the next question.
12. Where did most of your money go?

13. What did you get really excited about?
Seeing Guys and Dolls in August. I love the theater and especially that show. We were so excited to watch AJ's car win the Pinewood Derby in February! And I was on pins and needles when my sister came in THIRD in her first triathlon of the year! We were watching her times online and it was almost as exciting as being there! So awesome. I got really excited/emotional about that, for sure.

14. What song will always remind you of 2010?
The soundtrack of "Tangled,"which is great, and the Good Luck Charlie theme song, which is not that great. KT plays those two shows on Forever Repeat every chance she gets.

15. Compared to this time last year, are you: Happier or Sadder: Happier. I think the kids are getting to the age where DH and I are getting some of our old life back. I mean, a little bit... As much as you can when one of them's still under 5... but still. It's something.
Thinner or Fatter: Same I think.
Richer or Poorer: Poorer, probably. Cost of groceries really seems to be increasing significantly. Or is that just me?
16. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Fun activities with the kids. Taking more pictures and videos. (I might have to do the "One photo a day" thing this year. Days off just for me (I did take one, and it was HEAVENLY.)

17. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Gawd, bulk shopping at Costco. I was conned into my volunteer job for the school and I will NOT be doing it again next school year.
19. What was your favorite TV program?I fell in love with Parks and Rec this year. Especially the theme song.

20. What were your favorite books of the year?
I didn't read too many, but The Hunger Games series wins, hands-down.
21. What was your favorite music from this year?
I'm certain I don't listen to any current music.
22. What were your favorite films of the year?
No idea. We loved Inception (was that new in 2011?), The Help, The King's Speech (2011?) Deathly Hallows 2 (2011?)... I can't remember any others.

27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.
Sometimes you're just going to have to sweat a little.
Cookies are allowed, you're not a bad person for eating them.
Musicals make me happy.
Keep putting money in the savings account because you never know.

And now for a dash of...

Last night I was making banana bread. This is something I do frequently, and I learned as I worked that my Darling Husband sometimes leaves the last 2 bananas hanging on the banana-hanger ON PURPOSE, so that I'll make it! Ha! Sneaky of you, Mister el-e-e!

My mom was sitting at the kitchen table while I measured and mixed, and my dad came up behind me right when I needed the vanilla extract. I said, "Let me just get the vah-neee-yuh..." to him, and Mom cracked up. Evidently that is the very same way she always says "vanilla" (french pronunciation, of course) when she is baking. I never even knew I did that, but we laughed and laughed over shared genes and funny habits.

I love moments like that. Like when my sister and I respond to something with the same phrase, at the same time, with the exact same tone and inflection.

First a snotty comment, and then a Christmas recap

Dudes: There is a woman in my office wearing a JINGLE BELL NECKLACE and jingling her way around the halls this week. It is driving me absolutely BATTY. The fact that I'm IN the office this week is bad enough (never mind that I had all of last week off) -- well, the fact that OTHER PEOPLE are here, too -- I was hoping, at least, for silence and productive work-time. I am not getting the silence part of the deal. !!!ARRRGH. Jingle jingle jingle!!!  

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Whoosh, and it's over. That's the main reason I wish the commercial world didn't spend so much time, starting the very moment the Thanksgiving turkey is packed in its Ziploc bags, counting down until Christmas. It's definitely out of balance with the ONE DAY that is Christmas, itself.

Don't get me wrong, Christmas Day was wonderful. And... well, back up: December 23rd was lovely before that. First, Mom, KT and I shopped for one additional set of gifts, just us girls out on the town looking at cheap jewelry. What fun! We met the boys for lunch that day at my favorite Mexican place which could only have been better with margaritas -- but I didn't want to get too sleepy/useless before 1:00 pm! That night we celebrated with a nice, lonnnnng dinner party at my cousin's home. Plenty of wine, good stories, good music, Brie and crackers (what could be better than that??) and lots of little 2nd cousins running around in the basement, playing happily together. THAT felt like Christmas. Don't you just crave holiday time spent with family like that? Even if it's a hassle, or lasts a little too far into the night. It's just part of the holiday and if we don't have it, I don't feel quite right.

December 24th we made our dressing to get ahead for Christmas Day dinner, and baked some more cookies, as we had somehow run out already! (How, I wonder...?) I can't remember the other details -- except I did take a NAP, in my BED (heaven!) -- but I know by 9:00 p.m. we were watching Christmas Vacation (the kids, too), and I was getting dressed to go to Midmight Mass and the choral extravaganzaaaa! Just kidding. It wasn't extravagant. The choral prelude to Midnight Mass was good... I do hope we moved someone's heart who might have been looking for a little spiritual, musical uplift. We didn't have to sing any schlock like we did last year (choral version of an Amy Grant song, gag, and I love A.G., just not like that), so I was pleased. By the end of the night... er, morning... I had nearly lost my voice, which might indicate to you that I sing incorrectly on my chords, rather than in the focal place in my head... but that is not true. And by the way, why is it that I always seem to get sick on Christmas Eve?? I am so over that and may tell Santa next year that is my one and only wish.

Anyway, FINALLY, let me tell you about Christmas Day being wonderful: We were awoken with the PERFECT excited whispering of a 3-year-old: "MOMMY! WAKE UP!! SANTA CAME!!!" I hope I never forget it. She had an exclamation point in her throat! The kids were so good and patient, waiting for all of us SLOW adults to get our pants on and go to the potty before stumbling down the stairs together. They loved their gifts. We unwrapped in a frenzy. We got the big garbage bag out to keep the mess to a minimum. We had ham and egg casserole and apple muffins for breakfast. Then we went to a not-crowded 10:45 am Mass together, I really DID lose my voice before the last hymn, and we spent the rest of the day putting together the perfect meal, in perfectly timed choreography (somehow!) -- and I just loved it all, even the hand-washing and drying of the Lenox Holiday plates afterwards.

(Here's what we ate: Cajun-fried turkey, sausage dressing, cranberry jelly, sweet potato casserole, these biscuits from Pinterest!, and steamed broccoli with red peppers. We had White Zin to drink and the kids had applesauce on the side because I wanted to be sure they ate something. (Darn kids don't even like sweet potato casserole w/marshmallows?!) For dessert a couple of hours later, we had Cherries Jubiliee over coffee ice cream... or just ice cream for those who don't DO cherries. I also had two STRONG hot toddies that my Dad made me, and they CURED my throat, by golly! I love hearing other people's holiday menus - what did you have?)

We have played and played. So far the favorites have been AJ's Lego sets and Megazords, KT's Lite Brite, and her new Rapunzel dolls and Barbie clothes. She and I have spent lots of time doing fashion shows, spread out on the new sleeping bag in the living room, changing Barbies' clothes and combing and combing and combing Rapunzel's hair.

Just what I wanted

December 21st was my day with the kids, just us. I actually asked my parents not to come until Thursday (today), so I could have a day together. Selfish? Maybe. But I loved it, and the kids were GOOD, and we had a great time. Here's what we did:

• Leisurely breakfast/Christmas cartoons (Dora, unfortunately, which we're also watching again today)
• Colored wooden Christmas ornaments with markers. And listened to Christmas music, OBVS. We could have done this with paint, but washable Crayola markers satisfied AJ and KT just FINE, so why stress myself out?!
• Went out to get AJ's hair cut
• Came home for lunch, ate it and cleaned up, then
• Made Reindeer Sugar cookies with M&M noses and pretzel antlers -- so fun!
• Watched The Polar Express again; it has been the movie of the year at our house, and the other day I learned AJ wants the book for Xmas... Well guess what? Santa already thought of that! Feeling smug.
• played I guess...and I started hand-washing my crystal wine glasses, which is one of my favorite things to do. I know at one point AJ got bored, and I suggested activity books or reading, to which he probably rolled his eyes, but finally it was time to go to his jiu jitsu class.

Then we came home and had dinner (DH was home) and ...the end. There was no fighting, and very little whining, and I wasn't restless, either. It was so nice to be with my sweeties and enjoy some of the magic and quiet and fun of the days before The Big Day.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Pre-planning for Christmas 2011

Yesterday I went to the mall to get the last of our presents and search out Christmas Mass outfits for the kids. I found great deals at a department store and came home feeling very satisfied. Then I got to wrap presents out in the open, in a large space (as opposed to the corner of the floor after the kids' bedtime, that has somehow been my uncomfortable SOP this season). I did my C25K run, in 63-degree sunshine. I did dishes. I checked the basement stash to make sure Santa is treating each kid evenly this year (he is, pretty amazingly). After the kids went to bed I made Swistle's Mint-Chocolate cookies, as has become my tradition (thank you, Swistle!), for their teachers' gifts.

I was on my feet all day but it was good.

Today I have cleaned the kitchen even though it's not nearly the end of the Christmas production cycle, made a special, traditional snack to surprise my parents with, when they arrive Thursday, and planned my dinner menu. I listened to Christmas music -- Sugarland's Gold and Green album, which I didn't realize is SO GOOD! I love you, Kristian Bush; and Harry Connick Jr, of course -- and talked to my parents on the phone. Hope we haven't used up all the topics so we have plenty to chat about when they get here!

I'm headed out in a little while to get a haircut, take some things to the cleaners (I hope they'll be done before Thursday or Friday), and drop off a wayward toy to Toys for Tots. Apparently they're low on the turnout this year so I feel good about donating it, even thought it was a duplicate for which I could get back my $35... but some boy somewhere will enjoy it.

The kids are at school today. One of them is having his class party, and the other will miss hers, but I think she's still young enough that she won't notice or care. I miss them, but I'm SO glad I've had this time to get our house, and myself, ready for the wonderful week ahead. I love Christmas, and I love having it at my house. (When I'm not feeling stressed about having it at my house, that is.) I'm not stressed at this moment.

I'm grateful, and happy. The stockings are hung. The Santa picture is framed (our first year with both kids unafraid of him). I think I'm about ready.

Sinking Spell

The 3:00 sinking spell comes at 1:00 on my early days. (For those of you just joining us, those are the days I get to my office at 6:30 in the ay-em.) And so, at the moment I am yawning and hoping that this cold bottle of water will help jolt me back to Alert... but I'm very aware that this is a high hope. What I could really use is an iced latte.

As a general rule I am NOT on board with the iced drinks at S'bux -- at least not in the morning. If I see the arm of the barista shoot out the drive-thru window toward the car in front of me, during the morning commute/pit stop, and if that arm is holding something frothy with a straw in a CLEAR cup, I get very eye-roll-y. I don't believe that's legitimate "morning coffee."

But during an afternoon shopping trip? Or after school? Or during a sinking spell? Yes, please. It  Especially in the South, where it's too hot for hot coffee, anyway. It harkens those days I mentioned to my high school friend on FB, when Barnie's at the mall was the only coffee option -- they were cool before coffee was cool ubiquitous. Anyway, I am thinking that perhaps AJ and I will make a stop at the local caffeinating hole this very day, after carpool. He likes their cake pops.

I will also need the boost tonight, because I am planning a 9:00 pm gift-buying trip to Target, which is open until midnight in my location, woot woot! I think it will wrap everything up (har har!) that I need for the kiddos, and most of my other relatives, as well. (Everytime I mention Target by name, I think about the very first time I ever went to one, in Dallas, I believe, to buy either a trash can or a new kitty litter box with my Mom. It must have been when we were in transit, moving to Florida, and spending the night with my grandparents in Dallas. No idea why I remember this, ever so vaguely; I don't even remember last week.)

Positive Mental Attitude...

I haven't gotten stressed out about the holidays... yet. I've felt like I have enough time. I have 8 lunch-hours left, and I work close to a Target, an Old Navy, a Costco, a Toys R Us, a post office, a UPS Store, and a mall! I should be able to get things done, right?

But then I remembered planning the MEAL. And the days leading up to it! Oh, hey, I am hosting Christmas! It's JUST my parents and us, no big deal... but it IS a big deal because I want there to be nice meals (or at least put-together meals and not KFC takeout!), and memmmmories. Then I remembered teacher gifts for KT's teachers (what are their names, again?). I need to get my baking started and give those gifts out EARLY -- to neighbors, coworkers, etc.

Still, I don't want to feel the stress. I banish it! Away, stress! So I'm trying my best to workout. I started the Couch to 5K program and I completed Week 1. I did my first run for Week 2 today. It's going really well and man, does exercise ever help in keeping mental stress at bay! It really does, I've been amazed by that. (Biology/chemistry... it works!) I was all sweaty and winded an hour ago after running (haha, I mistyped "funning!"), but I felt GREAT! Happy! I might even say Awesome!

PLUS, I have two full days all to myself on the 19th and 20th, before the kids (AJ) is off for vacation or my guests arrive, and I am so thrilled about those two days! I will make them extra productive. (And I will workout during them, too!) Positive, positive, positive.

The one sad situation is that I canNOT find a babysitter for December the tenth. My DH's company is having a small holiday soiree at a friend's home -- a friend I used to also work with daily, and dearly love -- and there is also a party for Le Choir that night, so it'd be really super nice to be able to go to both of those events. Even though I have nothing to wear (well, I have a dress but no BOOTS). Sad state of affairs. See, most of my church friends with teenage daughters -- backup babysitters when the main one is unavailable -- are from Le Choir, and so they and possibly their teens will be at the choir party -- or babysitting their siblings. I have about one other person I could ask. And I shall.

Anyway, yesterday I got a good chunk of Santa stuff finished, TONIGHT I am ordering my cards, and all will be well. All will be well.

Playing Santa, KT edition

(these posts are really for posterity, I know they're kinda boring.)

KT's wish list includes:

"Big Rapunzel doll"
"Mommy's Baby," she calls it, and AJ clarifies she means "My Very Real Baby." After looking it up, I'm torn because she already has a doll that looks very similar to this one, and the thing costs $70! I'm thinking no.
"Rapunzel Castle with all the princesses."

I love 3-year-olds.

I had planned these things for her:

*Tangled Reusable Sticker Book
*Tangled Soundtrack CD
*Tangled playset (Rapunzel, Flynn, horse)
*Tangled/Rapunzel Barbie
Sleeping bag -- she's been using AJ's Spiderman one all this time and she likes Spiderman, but I thought it'd be nice for her to have one of her very own
Necklace (not expensive, but "real" jewelry)
Doll cradle
Amelia Bedelia books? -- there is a series of "younger" Amelia Bedelia books now (since she's still just a little too young to get the jokes in the original books)
Hair bows/headbands
Barbie clothes
Rapunzel princess (dress-up) dress
"Big Rapunzel" doll

*already purchased
 
For her stocking, I got her a "shimmer" lotion at Bath & Body Works, and I think I'm going to stick a bottle of "No More Tangles" in there, too. Heh. More for me than for her! What else? Besides gum, of course - I have to give my KT some gum!
 
It's so much fun to play Santa! Except that Santa better get ON IT; He has a lot left to do! I might try to go to TRU today at lunchtime.

Off-topic

Edited to remove some stuff... my blog could be so much more interesting if I weren't afraid of the wrong people finding it.

A task of comparing the Christmas list *I* had made for 7yo AJ, with the list he, himself, wrote out for Santa last week:

MY LIST
*Thundercats Action Figures (Tygra, WilyKit, Panthro, Cheetara, Lino-O, Mumra) 4"
*Thundercats Thunder Tank
*Captain Underpants book series
*new (Shaun White) wallet
Sleeping bag
Camera?
Lemonade Mouth CD?
Claw megazord
Pokemon binder
Mindflex Duel game
(he's mentioned a couple of DS games but I can't remember which ones now)

For both:
A puzzle to share (maybe a 100-piece? To work on as a family or something?)
Ice cream maker (for the family?)

*are already purchased

HIS LIST
Nintendo 3DS (he is not getting this no matter how much he begs)
Pokemon Rumble Blast game for the the 3DS (or maybe the regular DS? Which he has?)
Power Rangers Samruai Claw magazord (WOO! A match!!)
Pokemon Trading Card Game: Victini box (what?)
Kirby: Return to Dream Land (for the Wii)
Kirby: Mass attack for the DS
MarioKart 7 for the 3DS
Radakai: Championship Tin (seriously, MORE trading cards??)
Pokemon: Unova Region Playset
Pokemon: Catch, Launch, Battle (no idea what this means)
Yahtzee Flash game

So. Sort of a bummer that we already BOUGHT all the Thundercats action figures. We went through a family surge of watching the new version of that cartoon on Friday nights back in August. And then in October, his interest disappeared into the ether and the DVR'd episodes sit there in our list of recordings, uselss.

Some of the things I've got on my list can easily be stocking stuffers (the CD, the wallet). I still think I want to get him the (non-character) sleeping bag and the camera. Those are things I suspect will be enjoyed and appreciated long-term. And the trading card tins aren't expensive. But I don't know; they don't seem that exciting, to come from SANTA. Do they? Then again, I'm not a 7yo boy. But man, if I add that wish list up, it's more than Santa's elves make in tips, I can tell you that. ;)

And, haha, aren't I quaint (delusional), thinking a 100-pice PUZZLE would be fun for everyone?

Thanksgiving recap

Thanksgiving seems like three weeks ago already, doesn't it? The Target commercial they're playing, where the couple waves goodbye to their friends saying, "The turkey was wonderful, as always!" and then they close the door and immediately turn around into their house, which is fully decked out for Christmas...? Have you seen that one? It's perfect, right? I feel like that's exactly what has happened. There was no transition. Just, BOOM, Christmas.

We're deep in it -- we're looking for our Elf on the Shelf every morning, the tree is up, and I've been to Michael's twice already. Doesn't get a whole lot more Christmas-y than that.

Anyway, let me tell you about our Thanksgiving, because it was really nice. We went to DH's parents' house in Savannah, and had dinner at 1:30! One! I never knew the position of the clock could make such a difference, but I'm here to tell you IT CAN. I think the one o'clock hour is the perfect time, actually. At 1:30, the parade had just finished. I hadn't had time to think "Gosh, I'm hungry," yet. I hadn't had time to wish there was a cheese ball and some Wheat Thins out on the table (or to stuff myself with them before dinner even started). I had had a Coke Zero to tide me over. The kids were playing nicely. My BIL and SIL arrived. At 1:30, it was lunchtime. A logical time to eat.

We finished around 2:30 I guess, did the dishes, and had time to chill out for a bit. At 4:00 I was ready for my pie (apple, a la mode). Then at 6:30 it was the perfect time for a turkey sandwich! Ta-da! See how that worked out?

On Friday, we took off to the beach! One thing we never take advantage of in Savannah is the fact that it's on the coast. We're usually not there long enough to make a day of it with swimsuits and buckets and the whole ordeal. But this time, since it wasn't swimming weather anyway, I just wanted to go out there and SEE it. There's a huge public pier, where the kids RAN all the way to the end, chasing pigeons and seagulls (just like in the movies). Then there's the flat sand of the beach, stretching for days. We collected handfuls of (broken) seashells, perfect in the kids' eyes, and AJ even pulled up his pants legs to wade in the Atlantic. KT wanted to "dig for pirate treasure." I can't resist sharing a photo. I loved breathing in the salty air, and I'm just not sure there's anything more restorative than a sunny day near the water, you know? It seemed to bring out the best in all of us. Especially afterwards, when we stopped at a little hamburger dive for a cheap lunch on their patio, complete with giant chocolate ice cream cones. I really feel like we made happy memories that day.

On Saturday, we set out on our own without the grandparents, who had some other tasks to attend to. I hated to miss out on time with them, but I was also happy to have a little time just to ourselves. Historic Downtown, of course, is where all the tourist action is, so we forked over a lot of cash to ride on a horse-drawn carriage through brick-lined streets and statues. I remember visiting lots of museums and historic sites when I was a kid -- in Austin, Natchez, Vicksburg, New Orleans, New Mexico, old Mexico! and Springfield, IL, among others -- and I think our kids are old enough now to get the educational benefit from that kind of thing. It was awesome. AJ sat up front with the driver and felt all special. KT managed to stop talking (mostly) and let the tour guide tell her dumb jokes. And we had lunch afterwards. (I am pretty sure the key to my personal enjoyment is scheduling these things right around 11, so we can have lunch after. Clearly, french fries are important to me deep down in my heart.)

We drove home Saturday night, after dinner. (Leftovers for the win!) That somehow felt special, too. A last hurrah, or something. The hectic pace of packing up. The kids running from BIL who tickled them without ceasing. (Something which I could seriously complain about... but... whatever. They seem to enjoy it. To the point of SCREAMING a lot. Sigh.) And we were so glad to skip dumb metro traffic on Sunday.

All in all, I'd say it was a near-perfect holiday.

Turnaround

I started today in such a Bad Mood. Once again, I was awakened in the dead of night (4:00 am) by a little girl who needed comfort, or someone to talk to, or just to be reminded that all was okay. I was not very gracious about this, though at first I really did try to be. She is suffering a bit of a cold, and was swampy with coughing and sniffles. I could tell she was hot (she insists on wearing fleece jammies even though it’s been an unseasonable 74 degrees most days lately) and I worried it was an actual fever. So some children’s Tylenol was dispensed, we both made trips to the potty, and I hoped for another 2 good hours of rest for us both.

It was not to be. I got more and more mad as the minutes ticked by. The whispering, “Is it six-oh-oh yet?” questions, the light going on in her bedroom, the panting I could hear her doing next to my face as she watched to see if I was awake yet, the four-times getting her covers messed up and needing me to fix them, tissues, water, and then the dog, too, licking the carpet incessantly which I cannot stand, even in the light of day. I threw back my own covers several times, DH did the same and threatened through clenched teeth to deposit someone back in her OWN ROOM by the time he got to THREE… it just wasn’t a pretty way to start the day.

Naturally she fell back to sleep at 5:55 a.m. I hated to wake her then, but will admit to having at least one vengeful feeling about it.

I spent the morning stewing. Not about KT, but about other things. Stress about impending holidays. Things I don’t like about my job. Coworkers who Won’t. Shut. Up. in the 8:00 hour when I’m still trying to ease into things and have my coffee. I worked myself right into a little hissy fit, in my mind. (Tired, perhaps?)

And then I went to KT’s school for the class Thanksgiving feast.

It wasn’t even that special, to be honest. The teachers must be tired this time of year, because they weren’t chipper or very welcoming at all. The 4 of us parents who made it sort-of wandered around while the kids played, and we waited for the food to be ready. There were no construction-paper pilgrim hats or Indian feathers, no singing of any songs or reciting of any Gobble-Gobble poetry. (Come on, school! Are you kidding me?) But the happiness on my little one’s face, watching me watch her with her friends, was so palpable. She was proud to show me her table, willing to eat her food, and appropriately taken aback when I asked her if could I please stay and take a nap with her, on her mat?! (“You are too big for my mat, Mommy, that’s silly!”)

Such a simple thing. It wasn’t a forced counting of blessings, even – we didn’t give thanks for the meal – but I came back to my office wanting to make a better effort at not being so angry. What was it? Getting to play with kids for 30 minutes, unhindered by time constraints or my own agenda? Sitting on a miniature red chair? Maybe the challenge of talking with three-year-olds whose language is different from my own daughter's was a brain exercise that cleared away all the other gunk? Or, just seeing someone I love dearly, in the middle of the day? Being reminded of how fast it all goes by?

I’m unsure. But pretty darn grateful.

And then, other times...

I tuck her in at night, and we spend 5 full mintues saying "I love you" back and forth, and when I leave she tells me again, and that she hopes I "have good sleep, Mommy."

...and we wake up and she's all kisses and cuddles and the very best, most wonderful parts of three-and-a-half.

Just so you know.

Fighting nature

This is not going to be a guilt-filled post about how terrible I feel for trying to discipline my 3.5-year-old. This age can be willful and disrespectful, and I have been trying to remember that it's just a phase. Overwhelmingly, I think, "I love that little girl SO MUCH." But right now living with her is just so exhausting. I can't think straight when she blatantly tells me "No" for the forty-fifth time, or kicks me or throws things or screams in my face. I have no creativity reserves at the crack of dawn, nor at the end of a long day, and no ideas on how to solve these problems in meaningful ways. I try to give choices and consequences. I resort to time-outs (which don't actually work, imho), or taking privileges away, which only makes her scream more loudly. I can send her to her room, but she either refuses and tantrums, or just comes back out. I distinctly remember not having any solution for that problem the first time around. Her Daddy sometimes has good luck removing her from the situation,calming her down and talking her through it, but those tactics don't seem to work for me.

Last night she was particularly awful to me, and I just honestly didn't want to be with her.

I think of all the moms and dads in the world a lot, lately, and how we all have to fight battles like these. I pray for them sometimes, people I don't know, especially the moms, and their independence-testing little ones. This job can be so, so hard.

I'm okay. And she's okay. I'm not sad today or feeling despicable. But I am tired of the fighting. I really can't wait for the hard parts to pass, and I can only hope that some of the love and attempted calm is getting through to her.