Piano

I've been playing the piano again, a little bit. It feels calming and restorative to me. I'm terrible! I stumble over the notes and the rhythms start and stop and speed up and then slow again. It's like a fourth grader who's never had lessons! But I like to think I could get better if I keep practicing.

I started playing the piano when I was five. Thank you, Mom and Dad. I enjoyed it and was fairly good for a five-year-old, and then for a 6, 7, 8, 9, 10-year old. I had a good teacher. During middle school and the beginning of high school, I had an even better teacher. He had studied at an actual conservatory and liked to talk about that fact. He also liked to think that I was a better pianist than I was. He wanted a "star" pupil, and my sister and I stood in that role a little bit, I think. We played Chopin nocturnes and Beethoven sonatas, and even Rachmaninoff (how I hated Rachmaninoff), and we played in a few competitions and won medals once or twice.

And we -- or specifically, I -- got burned out. Same way I had with tennis a few years before that. I can't remember what year it was, but at age 15 or 17, I decided I couldn't take the weekly lessons anymore, and really didn't have time, with school, cheerleading, community theater and being a teenager, to practice for hours a day. Not even one hour a day. I know it broke my Mom's heart in some ways. It was sad to let it go, but a relief. I've justified it to myself because since then, I've spent much more time singing than playing, and piano was, of course, the perfect foundation for a musician. I took voice lessons, too, and I think I'm more talented vocally than my fingers ever were. (Although, when people comment about how fast I type -- and I love to type -- I often credit ten years of playing the piano.) I have loved being part of choirs, and music performance is definitely part of who I am.

Anyway, a few years ago DH bought me an electric piano. Our house doesn't really have space to  accommodate a real one, but the electric one fits well with our still-not-totally-mature interior design style.  We got it with the kids in mind. Maybe they'll take lessons one day soon? I haven't played it nearly as much as I've wanted to -- and believe me, I've wanted to. Life gets in the way, you know?

But right now I'm coming back to it. I've found a book in my old things that has sonatinas and gavottes in just about the right difficulty level, and because of the years of singing, I'm a much better music reader than I ever was as a teenager.

I'm having fun. I try to sit down during KT's baths. It's just ten minutes, usually, before she needs my attention for something. You do sort-of have to lose yourself in playing/practicing to get good, and there's hardly ever time for that. I'd like to try to make some time.

I have this desire to someday be able to play well again -- to accompany the choir for rehearsals, if needed, or pick up a book and play Christmas songs if anyone wants to sing with me. Oh, and this weekend while standing near the organ during Mass, I really got to thinking how FUN it would be to play THAT instrument! It's silly in a way.

On the other hand, it's a part of me that's been missing. Like I said, it's a stress-reliever now (ironic how it used to cause me stress). I was wondering recently, what would be something FUN to work at every day? And I thought, playing the piano would be fun work. So. I'm not changing careers or anything (I wish!), but I'm going to play.

Good stuff right now

Let's do something else. Let's get poor AJ's poor choice down, away from top billing on this page. :)

Here are some ways life is really good right now:

1. Our spring annuals are planted and pretty! I know YOU don't care, but this might be the earliest we've gotten it done in years. And we replaced a few plants (bushes) that had died and been dug up last year, so it feels significant. I am checking it off our Home-Beautifying-Before-Sale list, and that feels good because it was a "would be nice to have" item, but now it's done!

2. The kids are playing outside. All the time! With the hundred or so kids that seem to gather in ours and neighbors' yard every day. (Ok, it's just fifteen, not a hundred.) There is even a little girl KT's age. Hallelujah. I know she was having a hard time before this new little girl, we'll call her Abby, showed up. Now she LIVES for the doorbell to ring in hopes that it's Abby. Super cute.

3. I am back IN the dinner-menu zone. I go through phases, you know, where I can't think of anything good to make. In the last couple of weeks, though, I've tried some new things that were successful, and Monday night I went back to one of our family's Old Standbys, and it was well received -- pork chops with Hot & Spicy Shake-N-Bake, field peas with white rice, and Crescent rolls. I know it's not very original but it had been a long time since we'd had it -- I love rediscovering old gems like that. Here are some things I want to try next (for the adults, of course. The kids would never eat these!):

Shrimp, cilantro, avocado w/brown rice. Source: womenshealthmag.com via me on Pinterest

Spinach, garlic, lemon pasta. Source: weekofmenus.blogspot.com via me on Pinterest

Black Bean Spinach enchiladas. Source: thegardengrazer.com via me on Pinterest

4. Besides that, I seem to be on a roll with getting some exercise (at minimum 10 minutes a day but I'm aiming for 20). Most days it's just a quick walk outside around my office building, but the weather's been nice enough that it's really a mental boost, too. Score. I've been working on lowering my calories-in, too, with some success, and have lost a pound or two. It's kind-of lame to always, for years, be trying to lose 10 pounds. (Baby weight! Haha! What? I had babies once.) I'd like to be finished with it. On the other hand, I guess it's better to be working at it, mindful of what I'm eating all the time, rather than not caring. (I go through plenty of "not caring" phases, too. Just not right now.)

5. We rescued all of AJ's baby photos and videos from my dead iMac. I haven't yet gone through them all to sort and save, but they're safe.

Just a few little things. But they're making me happy, happy.

Two funny things for the record-book (blog)

I picked KT up at pre-K on Tuesday, and she was eager to show me a two-sided art masterpiece (!) that she had made. "KT," said her teacher, "What is the word, again?"

"Met-a-mor-pho-sis!" she proudly answered. Pronounced perfectly, which I know is why the teacher asked her in front of me.

"Wow, KT, that's a big word!" I marveled. Then she showed me her artwork.

"Look, Mommy, this is the butterfly, and here's my flower, and the sun, and this is the caller-pitter!"

(Please stay little forever!)

* * * * * * * *

This 2nd story's not quite so charming, although I look forward to the day in the future, when he's 30, and we can look back and really get a good laugh over it.

AJ got in his first real big trouble at school yesterday, for writing something on a classroom bookshelf, in red pen. He and another kid worked together, but he admitted it was his idea. And what words, pray tell, did he feel the need to inscribe on school property?

FART HOUSE.

(Please grow up as soon as possible.)



He got in trouble at home, too -- 2 weeks of no video/computer games, no sleepovers, no new books or toys, and we made him write apology letters to the school and his teacher. He cried. I'm betting that's the last time it happens and I was glad of the teachable moment -- and to have the time to think it through before I saw him. All in all it's a pretty typical rite of boyhood -- and parenting -- passage, I guess, and I'm proud of him for getting through it. He'll live. He'll be smarter now. I can't wait to remind him of it many times in his adulthood. ;)

On Starting a Week

My earbuds are in place with calm.com feeding me a lovely ocean breeze, and rhythmic waves on the shore. I wish I were actually there! But I'm not, I'm at my desk on a Monday morning, trying very hard to stay positive. This is just a workday -- not terrible, not depressing. It's a leaf falling or a bird flying by -- I can't control it and shouldn't worry about it, but I can control my response to it (or not respond at all).

Behind me there's a meeting going on, with its door open. Slight lack of courtesy has my heartrate up a little. A few minutes ago there was a phone call happening in another office behind me; the door was closed, but the occupant was still loud enough for me to be distracted by her. I feel sorry for her, having to have loud/stressful conversations on a Monday morning.

I am glad I don't, and glad for earbuds.

I have a cold, 32-oz water bottle with a purple straw and a green lime. I can only drink water with lime/lemon if it has ice.

I'm typing on a new-to-me laptop. It's nice that it responds so quickly when I double-click. My old laptop, last week, was super annoying and slow. This new one also has unfamiliar keyboard sounds. The clicks seem different. It's distracting, too, but in a good way.

Right now, I'm putting off a project that's blinking at me from my calendar. It's a Powerpoint presentation -- one that I'm writing for someone else -- and it feels like too much of a challenge at this moment. I know that -- I'm hoping by writing this it will become true -- I know that I will take it one slide at a time (ugh, slides!) and that my draft will be fine. I'll get feedback, and probably get offended at some of the feedback, but I'll make the changes and the person who needs to put her stamp on it will have done so, and I'll be finished with it. (Until the next one.) But right now all of that seems very far away.

The deadline is EOB Tuesday. I didn't know what "EOB" meant, several years ago. COB. EOD. Whatever you call "end of the day" in your line of work.

Right now it is 10:12 a.m. and time to get started.

    I decided to try "Just Writing" again today. Also, I'm looking for new, interesting reads there.
You can, too, just click the image!

Quick Update

Just reading my own blog, and thought I'd update you lovely people on the school-bullying (tickling) situation.

According to AJ, it hasn't happened in a good while. We now ask every day if anyone bothered him. I won't stop asking. He may stop telling the truth -- we've had it happen where, I'll ask him right after school and he's bright and sunny, and says nothing happened, but later in his room, with Daddy, he reports the opposite after further investigation. I'm glad he'll tell one of us, and I'm glad when DH presses the issue.

There is another mom, with whom I am close, who calls me when HER son reports any misbeahvior, on AJ's behalf. I love her kid. He, too, has been the victim of a few of the rough kids. She has also had Important Meetings with the teacher. I am glad that her son and mine are good buddies (they go to summer camp together). They stick up for each other although they're both little dudes. I wish, too, sherry, that AJ could befriend a big, hulking kid.

It seems like things have died down overall, for which I'm grateful.

Hurling insults

Poor KT baby. I called the doctor yesterday, kind-of on a whim, just wanting to see if something she'd been telling me merited a visit.

Well, it did. She's been tugging at her left ear, causing it to "pop" audibly, for about 4 weeks now, sometimes telling me she can't hear, sometimes saying it hurt, most times calling it her "Stupid ear." Heh. So the doc wanted to see her.

You can guess that they found blockage and build-up, and so they began the process of softening and removing it. Here is just a sampling of the things she yelled at me, and at them, during the two-hour visit this morning. Note: This sounds really bad but it was mostly funny. I mean, I feel bad that I haven't taught her to use curse words, because I know in her heart, curse words were what she meant. It was hard not to giggle. ;)

• I hate this place! These doctors are so mean to kids! 
• It HUUUUUUURTS!!
• I am so mad at you for bringing me here!
• Do NOT let them open that door AGAIN! They can NOT come back in here!
• No you are NOT going to hold me! No, I won't.
• You are so MEAN!
• OH. MY. GOSH, this is TERRIBLE.

I get that maybe the medicine they used was stinging a little. But you'd have thought they were ripping her arms off, the way she carried on. The very definition of crocodile tears. And scrambling to get away from the nurses, rolling up the paper table cover in the process.... fun times, fun times. 

They didn't quite accomplish their goal, so we get to go back in two weeks. I can hardly wait! Uh.

Return

When I get most stressed out, what I always want to do is come to a blank page and just let my fingers go. Just get it all out. Type type type, so fast I don't even care about the grammar. (Except that I do, I always edit as I go, instead of truly doing a free-form, let my fingers go, stream of consciousness exercise).

It's a shame, I've been telling everyone, that the economy today means that companies are all short-staffed, and in positions like mine that aren't the real "drone" positions -- not data entry or widget-producing jobs -- you are basically penalized for taking a vacation. There's no team, anymore, just you, doing your particular function. And if you aren't there to do it, no one else is going to do it for you. So you return from your vacation and, even though you prepared for the time off and finished what needed to be finished beforehand, you're "welcomed" back with a load, a pile, a ton of work that's been waiting for you.

At least that's how it is in my job.

I was off from Good Friday to Easter Wednesday (hee), and came back to two yucky, heart-pounding days. Tasks that HAD to get done. No time to ease back into it. I mean, it's not terrible, it's not life or death, it's just hard to go from extreme to extreme like that. I prefer the days off.

The home repairs got done. We are now overly bathed in new light, from the 6 can-lights in the cooking area of the kitchen, to the new chandelier that doesn't work with our old dimmer switch. It's either ON, and I do mean ON, or off. There ain't no in-between. (As they say.) My kids had become accustomed to my gently switching on our old dimmer while they ate their weekday breakfasts in the 6:00 hour, but no more. Now it's MORNING!! GOOD MORNING! YOU ARE HAVING PANCAKES!

On Monday, the kids and I hiked up the mountain. Fitness goal for March, accomplished. One day after March, but still. They were troopers, and so was I, come to think of it. I didn't even get very sore the next day. Go me!

Yesterday we -- all four of us -- spent the day in Chattanooga, doing every touristy thing they offer. Well, almost every. We dragged the kids up there Tuesday night so they could have the fun of sleeping in a hotel, and I think they DID think it was fun. Maybe it was excessive and unnecessary -- the drive up there is less than 2 hours from our house -- but I got a kick out of them thinking everything in the hotel was SO COOL. "Mommy! There's a RESTAURANT!" "OH, cool, which bed am I sleeping in??" "Look at this KLEENEX on the side of the counter!?" Kids, man. They're the best for perspective. The trip was perfect as far as I was concerned. See Rock City. (Really, do see it. It's awesome.) I know it sounds cheesy but I just love the idea of AJ and KT remembering that trip when they're older, and when they have kids of their own.

They were also very well-behaved and made it fun for us. At one point, DH was saying something and I replied, "Daddy is being silly." AJ leaned over and in perfect theater-whisper, said to me, "Get used to it." It was spot-on. It had nothing to do with the trip, just with the fact that they're getting old enough to start turning into fun people. That sorta makes my heart want to burst.

This weekend we are joining in our neighborhood's yard sale. We didn't know about it until just recently but we've been about to hop-to, since we've been, ah, preparing for (read: procrastinating) our own yard sale for more than a year. Actually we're grateful for the kick in the pants. And for our co-workers who've lent us some card tables to put everything on. No one buys it if it's on the ground, people. I'm going to make as Pinterest-y a mailbox sign as I can make in the next 12 hours, that will say "SHOP HERE!" and have a few swirlies and flowers, and hope it attracts people more than boring ol' "yard sale." Perhaps KT can help me add some glitter.

And then, to come full circle, I'm glad it's the weekend again. I hope I'll feel more refreshed and able to conduct my weekday stuff the way I like, instead of "hurry-hurry-hurry-you've been away too long," next week.

Projects

Guess what's happening in my house right now? Repairs/remodeling, that's what! Yesterday they installed new lighting in the kitchen. So instead of the stupid ugly square flourescent, we now have 6 lovely recessed lights that make it so a person can actually SEE things in there! It's pretty amahzing. Today they're finishing up that ceiling, mudding and painting, and fixing the one in the master bedroom, as well. It's taking longer than I expected it would (and longer than they estimated). So I'm kind-of stuck here. With the kids, of course. I have today off and scheduled the work this week because the kids have the day off. But because the 2 rooms with TVs in them are the ones being worked on, we've been very confined to other spaces. Well, and outside. They're playing with the neighbors outside now, who got home from school an hour ago. (One of the weirdnesses of attending private school is that you might have different schedules and breaks than the neighbors. Which we do! Our Spring Break is next week and theirs is the week after.) Anyway, I'm starting to get bored and I'm quite tired of KT being whiny.

But otherwise, I'm excited about the whole project. It means that maybe we'll move ahead to the "consider putting it on the market" phase. Maybe. Someday. Probably not this spring. Maybe late summer. Or next spring. Who knows. We still have at least 2 rooms that must be painted and, let me see... 2 more that could stand to be painted. And a good majority of the baseboards and trim. And possibly that bannister I talked about at first. So that's a lot of additional work.

Right at the moment I'm glad I have the day off and I am sure I should try to get some work of my own done. I could work on the taxes (and in fact that is what I will do after finishing this blog post), or I guess I could start taping off at least one hallway, for trim-painting. We bought the paint and it already smells like paint fumes so it'd be a good time to do that.

But I'm just not feeling like DOING anything, honestly. I'm trying to let myself be OK with that. Regular days, we do so much. All of us, I mean. Humans. Parents in the year 2013. We never just have a day where we can eat lunch outside, lay down on the grass for a while, sit on the couch, take a little nap, watch Karate Kid on Netflix on the laptop.... and I've done all those things today. I washed and folded some towels, too (though not the shoes my DH asked me to throw in with those towels - I forgot), so I feel like I've accomplished plenty, for my day off. Take a Day Off, I say. Just revel in the kindness of doing nothing.

7 Quick Takes: A little less ranty, a little more yummy

Sorry about below. Got a little fired up.

But Lent is nearly over and it's time to start celebrating! Yes, the joy of the risen Lord, but also, the fact that meatless Fridays are almost over! I'm a wimp, what can I say? Actually, that's not true -- I love meatless meals, but my family gets grumbly about them. So I'll be glad when I can just spring the meatless meals on them, on my OWN schedule.

Here are seven meatless meals we've had this Lent:

1. Breakfast for dinner. Our old standby. It's always fun to have Belgian waffles, even if you can't have bacon to go with them. And scrambled-egg burritos? Mine and DH's favorite. Mmmm.

2. IHOP. More of the same! My parents came up to visit during the first weekend of Lent, and we always like to go out to eat when they're here (although I will say that more often than we used to, we've cooked for them at home with great success). So we hit up IHOP on a Friday night and guess what... there was NO WAIT. We might have been the only customers. Again, too bad about the bacon, but we were counting Weight Watchers points, anyway. ;) Spinach omelet, anyone?

3. Frozen fried seafood. Sorry, food purists, but we like our fish sticks and our popcorn shrimp (new this year! KT lurrrvhs it) and our Kraft mac-n-cheese on the side.

4. Tuna Casserole. Egg noodles. Cream of Chicken. Can of tuna. Cheddar. Ritz. BOOM.

5. While not a Lenten dinner-menu item, I made these last week and WOW, were they good! Even the DH liked them! Black-bean and sweet potato burritos. I had never heard of such a combination but they are creamy, without being messy at all, and don't even need any additional salsa! WHAT? I know. Try them.

6. Good old Cheese Pizza from Papa John's. That might be what we're having tonight, in fact.

7. Our expensive pasta dinner. (Although you could, of course, do a muuuuuuch less expensive version at home. My version would be shrimp, noodles, garlic, parmsean. Even better with some sun-dried tomatoes.)

Only one more meatless Friday after today! Hooray!Visit conversiondiary.com for all the quick takes posts... as you already know.

PLEASE PRAY FOR AN END TO GUN VIOLENCE

I'm sorry to even share this, and I don't usually get on a soapbox, but  it makes me so ANGRY, and so FEARFUL and SAD for our country and for the whole world if these are the kind of people in it.

The story says that the suspects are believed to be between 10 and 15 years old.

I can't take this kind of story any more. What is WRONG with people??? Why does a [expletive] TEN YEAR OLD have access to a gun? When did it become a thought process for a ten-year-old to put a gun in a woman's face because he wants some money, and then just up and kill the baby in her stroller?? How does a kid know how to pull the damn trigger and not consider what's about to happen?? I don't know who to blame, I don't know what to do, I want to throttle whoever is in charge of the care of this 10-year old and this 15-year old, I am certain that the Devil is on the prowl and laughing about another innocent child dead, and I am so sad. So sad for that mom and dad whose stroller -- STROLLER -- is stained with blood.

We need a SERIOUS, SERIOUS prayer chain about this. We need to say the St. Michael the Archangel prayer ALL THE TIME.

KIDS SHOULD NOT HAVE GUNS.

Saint Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle;
be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray:
and do thou, O Prince of the heavenly host,
by the power of God,
thrust into hell Satan and all the evil spirits
who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls.
Amen.

A Friday night in Lent

On Friday nights, I never feel like cooking. Or, I might feel like cooking but I'll have used up all the available entree choices by that late in the week. DH has come to accept this and probably sets his watch by my text or phone call at 5:30 pm, saying, "So.... I don't have much in the fridge tonight... do you want to go somewhere?"

Sometimes we let the kids dictate suggest a restaurant, which usually ends up with someone wailing that they don't LIIIIIIIKE that place. But this past Friday I decided what I wanted and didn't give anyone a chance to disagree. We could have gone to the church, where they were doing their fish-fry, but I chose the Italian place near our house, Vincent's, instead.  

I had the most delicious sacrificial garlic pasta, man. With shrimp. Austerity! (The joke in my family is "sacrificial (seafood) gumbo." Because it's so TERRIBLE to have to eat seafood gumbo! Wink. Catholicism is fun.)

First I must tell you that I had had a harrowing day at my office, where "harrowing" just means that I was in a blood-pressure-raising meeting from 10:30 to 12:30, and it took my heart another 2 hours to settle down after that. I don't often have physical reactions to work in that way, but because my computer was also acting up, and I had a huge to-do list that, therefore, I couldn't DO.... my whole day was jacked.

Man, I'm feeling my panic rise just remembering last Friday. Ugh. ...Deep breaths....

Anyway, I had poured the last of our red wine into a glass and kind-of downed it before we left for Vincent's. Didn't want it to go to waste, you know, and I needed it! Then I deserved another glass once we got there, of course, to enjoy with my husband. The kids were quite agreeable, and they ordered actual food -- i.e., not chicken nuggets, because they couldn't, but they were okay with that! -- and ate it, and didn't make me take them to the restroom the minute my food arrived (KT has a knack), and we toasted the new Pope, and even (get this):

Got a compliment from the diners sitting next to us, that our kids were so lovely and well behaved. !!!!

It was a pleasant time, is what I'm saying. The wine and the compliment rendered me almost giddy. It's pretty sweet when kids get old enough to go to a nice Italian place during Lent! Or anytime! Even though the meal and the shrimp ($1 each!) and the wine and a generous tip ended up costing us nearly $100. 

Of course, I had to face the consequences later: Pasta plus lots of wine (where 2 glasses = "lots") made it rather difficult to stay awake while KT read me her new Pete the Cat book on my bed. Luckily, she doesn't need my help as much as she used to. :) She finished the story and I'm pretty sure she had to wake me so I could put her into her bed.

Eat MOAR food

He gained 1 pound in 4 months, and grew .75 inches. The doctor was disappointed in the weight gain, although he DID gain which is a positive -- and she was glad of the height gain. Average, she said, is only 5/8 inches change, so he grew more than average.

She talked to us again about eating more, and more calorie-dense things. Adding egg to plain pasta, for example, and to milkshakes. I think I said before that it's hard for me to add the typical weight-gain things to his diet, because he doesn't LIKE creamy sauces, cheese, eggs, avocado or mayonnaise. But the doctor countered with, "Feed him what he LIKES." I feel like I have been doing that, and that he HAS been eating more. But we have to go one step further. She also told us, "more snacks." Oreos and Goldfish, she said. Carbs, carbs, carbs. Sausage with breakfast. NOT fruit. It's entirely backwards from everything else you read, everywhere, about how to feed kids healthily.

This morning he had a waffle with peanut butter and syrup. He knows HE has to do some of this work and just EAT MORE. One thing we've told him is that he needs to eat faster (stop chattering and eat!), so he can get more food down before his brain figures out that it's full. It seems a shame to tell a kid not to talk so much at the dinner table. :( That will be a difficult healthy-medium to find. But again, it's a complete mindshift from everything I know -- I, myself, have been trying to learn to slow down to get those "I'm full" clues.

Today I put fruit juice in his water bottle (in his school, all the kids are supposed have water for their snacktime). Rebel! But it's got calories, and calories are what we need.

So we have more work to do. After this tooth falls out, more taco nights. More hamburgers. Not that I mind! (Anything to avoid daily hormone shots for years and years, if we can avoid that.)

Enforced!

Today AJ's teacher emailed me to say if her warnings to the tickling-bullies wear off, to let her know and she would be the REINFORCER! All-caps, exclamation point, just like that.

And that is one of the many reasons I love our school.

 * * *

DH has the day off today. It's a furlough day, but still. Am jealous. Although, he's spending the day doing all kinds of errands, some of them for me. (And one major one for him - a new laptop. I was originally against, but came around to "for" because we have found many times that one kid is using the current laptop (which we are keeping), and another kid wants to also use a laptop -- or one of us has something to scan, which requires the laptop (not the iPad), and blahblahblahcakes we are now a two-computer family again. Huzzah!)

I had a sort-of day off yesterday. A day away from my desk. I went around and visited some of our customers, along with a group of international co-workers who are here for a visit. It was super fun and a good reminder of why we do what we do. Plus, I was allowed to be done for the day at 2:30. BOOM. I was in one of the FIRST carpool segments and that is a RARITY. I had warned AJ that I might not make it to carpool at ALL, so I came out smelling like a rose... and then took him to the bookstore after that! Why not?! My kid loves to read, folks, and I can't not encourage that because of a silly little thing called cashflow! Heh. We only bought one book. Kingdom Keepers. Based in DisneyWorld. So, so awesome -- I'm starting Book I as soon as I finish Miss Peregrine's... .Reading is fun.

 * * *

After a short break wherein I took a walk in the gorgeous sunshine (Wow, does that ever make a difference in one's mood, right?), now I'm sitting here almost finished with work, while DH and AJ are at the endocrinologist for our first follow-up. According to his text messages, only one pound was gained since November 1; I thought it was more. But he also grew .75 inches... so maybe this is a good sign. And he also lost nearly two teeth (one is hanging by a thread at the moment), so I think the doc will be pleased with that progress. I am as curious as can be about what she'll say and it feels weird not to be the parent there with him. DH had better take copious notes. I will want all the details!

No more

AJ started reporting earlier this year that some of the other boys were tickling him. He said it would start during the morning when everyone was arriving; sometimes as the boys walked by him they’d reach out and tickle him, or if they were sitting next to him. They told him, or he inferred, that they liked to hear his laugh – that it is particularly funny. All well and good, but he didn’t like it and he told them to stop. It didn’t help so he came to us with it.

We’re lucky we’ve had him in a martial arts class now for 18 months. In our particular studio, the 2^nd rule of engagement is “If verbally attacked, use the three T steps: Talk, Tell, Tackle.” I was able to immediately remind AJ of those and tell him the next step was to tell a teacher or other adult. Which, Duh, that is what he was doing – telling ME. But I’m not able to help him in the moment at school, so we got his teacher involved and she assured us she would keep watch on the situation.

I was diligent for a couple of weeks, but soon I stopped asking AJ every day about it – I can only imagine he was getting tired of the question, and there didn’t seem to be anything else to report. The holidays came and went, and I had hoped it was cleared up.

But Friday he got into the car and told me tearfully that he just thinks he needs new friends. It’s been happening again, along with other pestering from a couple of kids. To his credit, he has yet to “Tackle.” Well, I take it back: He says he has tried a couple of his defensive moves (it’s jiu jitsu, so it’s holds and evasive stuff, not punching or kicking)… and that they didn’t work -- or the kids laughed at him and said, ‘You don’t even know karate.’ (DUH.) He’s so small, and the real world is so different from “on the mat,” that I can picture things not going exactly how he expected them to go.

Anyway, I emailed his teacher again today and she was sorry to hear it’s still going on. I named specific kids this time. I’m tired of pussyfooting around that – I don’t care if I’m That Parent. And she told me, before my second Reply, that she’d already had words directly with the two kids mentioned, as well as with AJ: to TELL HER. He needs to speak up, and he knows this but is still hesitant to do so. I know it’s because he doesn’t want to be embarrassed or have it held against him in the future.

In thinking about the whole thing today – getting more and more “mama Bear” about it as I did – I realized DH and I need to back off the tickling, too. I admit that I’m bad to engage in it with both kids, leftover habit from when they were babies, you know? And another confession: I tend to get really mad, really fast, when DH tries to tickle me. Now: I realize our kids see us as a safe zone, and that a little lighthearted tickling before bedtime is quite different from kids on the playground, but... I just don’t want it to be a grey area. If tickling causes negative feelings at school, maybe it should be avoided at home, too. And as I told his teacher, “Stop” should mean stop in ANY physical-space situation. Boys and girls, both, need to know that, without question.

My Mom says that my Granny could never abide tickling of any kids;  now I have a reason to agree with her. Besides, they're growing up. Probably time to stop playing goochie-goo, anyway.

All the celebrations

This month marks my eighth year of blogging! I didn't really think it would go on this long. I have had the typical thoughts about my kids getting older, and my needing to censor what I put here (fewer photos, still no names, etc.)... and wondering, naturally, if it's interesting to anyone but me. Maybe I should stop. I wonder if I'll ever come back and read it when I'm older? I like to read the archives now, after all. I wonder if we'll still all be rambling on when we're retired and have grandkids running around? And our kids and grandkids will think we're so quaint because the rest of the world will have moved on from blogging long ago.

[Related: Yesterday I racked my brain trying to remember KT's toddlerhood. Her birthday's tomorrow. More on that later. It was harder to remember than I feel it should have been. I was trying to think about what she looked like, and specifically what our routine was in the afternoons, when AJ was still at the daycare with her. Did I get her from her classroom first, and carry her into his classroom? Or the other way around? I think it was the other way around but... I'm just not certain. And I couldn't remember all of her teachers, or exactly which classroom she was in, when. It's not a big deal, but memory is a funny thing, isn't it? I suppose I'm glad for 8 years of blogging, and the categories of "whole lotta nothing" and "daily round." And for posterity: She was in the infant room with Ms. Jean and Ms. Loretta, then moved over to Ms. Kathy, and then I think it was our beloved first Miss Michelle for the next 2.5 years, she moved up with KT, all the way to Ms. Penny, who was an odd treat for age 3 (!), and now we have lovely Ms. Gail and Ms. Tiffany. There.]

And today is Valentine's Day, of course. Happy happy to you and yours. Me and mine had small celebratory goings-on this morning. I had bought Snoopy-themed Whitman's Samplers for the kids, and a card for each of them, and a card for my Darling Husband, and when I got to the kitchen table at 5:30 a.m. I found a Pandora gift bag and a card with my name on it, too. So sweet. I put the kids' breakfasts on festive "heart" paper plates and let them eat a Little Debbie Valentine's treat with their pancakes. I like our little modest acknowledgement of Valentine's Day. I realize someday it won't be mine to celebrate with the kids, so I like keeping it low-key. But I also like knowing that they'll remember these things, and pass a little of the Valentine's love to their spouses and kids someday, I hope.

Tomorrow is KT's 5th birthday. She has been (sshhhh, don't tell anyone or we'll jinx it) super good the last few days. We had one spectacular meltdown (she and I both) the other night when she refused to go to bed, and that made me resolve to give up yelling for Lent (the shame!) -- but otherwise she has been very interested in helping, very sweet with her brother, and very excited about being five. Part of the thing about yelling is that I think she's finally at the age where me saying, "I'm so disappointed in your choice, KT," will make her feel REALLY sad. I mean, hanged head and leaving the room and everything. Remorse! It's what's for dinner! But let's just hope the good behavior continues and none of that will need to be used on her, anyway. Ya-ya-ma and Papa J. are coming up to celebrate the weekend with us, and her party is scheduled for Sunday afternoon. Oh, and I'm supposed to take donut holes to her classroom in the morning. (Future self, you can remember THAT classroom appearance because now it's documented!)

We got her a bike so she would stop riding AJ's and making him mad. Well, I grabbed her a Disney princesses bike-in-a-box which we subsequently deemed too small. So I'm exchanging it today on my lunch break.(It is SO handy to have an office located between a Target and a Toys R Us. Suburbia, man.) Maybe I'll find one that doesn't need assembling. Also got her a $2.99 kite for this spring, and a new pencil case for my little artiste, and a jewelry-making kit. I think she'll be happy with those things.

Good grief, this post isn't over yet! Because we're also celebrating our third Pinewood Derby on Saturday. I'm excited because my parents get to experience it. Not that it's fancy -- it's metal folding chairs in a school cafeteria! But there's community there, and heck, the racing is FUN to watch, no matter if you know anyone or not. During the same morning, over in the school library, KT has her Kindergarten testing. I know she'll be nervous but I also know she'll be fine. Gosh, I'm so happy she'll be in the right place next year, near to her brother every day, in our church home and chosen school family. I have been laughing at how I know the Kindergarten teachers are going to shape her into a proper young lady -- and probably put her "on yellow" a few times there in the beginning, too.

I should shut up and get to work. Life is pretty good, though, you know?

Desk-Breakfast

There's no question that having breakfast at my desk every weekday sucks. I would much rather sit with hot coffee, in front of my kitchen window, and enjoy a quiet moment as the world wakens. I would have cereal with milk, or a toasted bagel, or cheese grits. Mmmm, cheese grits.

Maybe when I retire.

Here's what I have learned about desk-breakfasts.

I still don't ever CRAVE yogurt, but I can now officially say that I like it: Fruit on the Bottom ONLY, with extra fruit added in (blueberries, usually), and with Honey Bunches of Oats cereal, or a crushed-up granola bar, mixed in as well. I like it for desk-breakfast about once a week, although I wouldn't choose it -- and never choose it, when it's in my fridge -- for a weekend breakfast. While I eat it, I usually hear my mind saying, "MMM, this is so GOOD!"

Never thought I'd hear my mind saying THAT.

Also, I used to buy the 4-oz. cups of cottage cheese and loved having them (instead of yogurt), for a delicious protein/dairy breakfast. They just don't sound appealing to me lately and I haven't bought them in ages. Weird.

Sometimes I have the Jimmy Dean Turkey Sausage and Egg White "McMuffins" from the frozen aisle. I like them with a LOT of salt and pepper. And they're best with orange juice, but I never have it.

If I'm desperate for a breakfast item, I'll take a packet of oatmeal. Even though I really like some of the Quaker Bakery flavors -- especially Banana Nut Bread -- they're kind-of a last resort. It's just so unsatisfying to walk all the way over to the coffee area to only get hot water for oatmeal, and then the  packet-sized portion is gone in about 5 minutes. Plus, I have to walk BACK in order to wipe out my coffee mug of any bits of oats, with a paper towel, before washing it in our non-disposal sink. Gross. The whole process is Un-Fun.

Last week I successfully made a scrambled egg in the microwave before I left for work, and put it inside a small tortilla with 3 Little Smokies beef sausages and some cheddar cheese. (I had bought the Smokies for our Super Bowl party pigs-in-blankets.) I wrapped it in foil and by the time I got to work, the cheese was perfectly melted. YUM. I loved that and wanted to make a whole batch of them to keep frozen, but after I added up the calories, I decided maybe I needed to buy some turkey sausage instead. Heh.

Ten minutes

The last 2 days, we have come home from school pickups and taken ten minutes to sit, have a snack, and talk about our “homework” (KT’s collection of papers and art is what she calls her homework, and she loves to tell me about each drawing and worksheet). I want us to do this EVERY DAY. Whoever is home first. We eat dinner all together nearly every night, and I know what a rarity that is, but I don't think there's anything wrong with one more daily chance at quality time. And then after ten minutes, I want the kids to go “unwind” in front of the TV so that I can get dinner started. Heh. “Quality time is finished, kids, now get out of my kitchen.”

Actually it ended up being more than ten minutes yesterday, because we got to laughing about something... what was it? Oh, right, it was “my poopy-dommy mommy.” My Granny invented that phrase as part of her storytelling. It stuck with me as a child because it sounds so silly, and now it tickles my kids. Yesterday I told them that my Mom has never liked it or thought it was funny. They laughed and laughed, every time we said it, and every time I wrinkled my nose at it, “like Grandmommy does.”

Anyway, the ten minutes is clearly worth it. They thought so, too, because they got to eat Little Bites brownies.

[Also: I read recently (again) that just ten minutes of exercise will make a difference. Maybe you’ve heard my sad stack of excuses before...? I consistently go in spurts, working out 3 times a week for about 2 weeks, and then it falls off again like a rock off a ledge. I would say I’m sick to death of it, but “to death” sounds like an unintended invitation – especially with as much as I read and write (for work) about breast cancer and women’s health. Things are preventable! Exercise helps Everything! Ten other minutes. *she says with authority* Maybe while dinner's working.]

I'm giving up on A Tale of Two Cities. I gave it a go; I really wanted to sink into it again. But life's too short, you know? I've read it before and I know, I remember, that I loved it then. Plus it has felt very inaccessible to my brain in its "busy-mom" state, with ten minutes left for reading at 10:50 pm. I need fluff. Or at least something that's going to grab me and not make me work so hard for it. So. Brisk clap! Thank you, Mr. Dickens, be on your way.

Feeling blucky about stuff

I'm feeling discouraged about our house/real estate project. It is stalled out because the first contractor I met with completely blew me off after I let him walk through my whole house. He never followed up at all -- sent no estimate like he promised. I realize this is minor, and maybe I don't want anyone irresponsible working in my house. And I actually received a useful book of names/reviews of all the top-ranked service people in our county - general contractors, roofers, plumbers, etc. Nice, right? Just showed up in the mailbox, out of the blue. Pretty good timing. So I'm going to call one or two of them on Monday and re-start. But Urgh. I just feel like all the things we need to do won't get done. And I heard today that some friends of ours also want to move, and they have their "punch-list" of projects, and now I'm fearing that THEY will DO all of their stuff, and we won't, and come spring, they'll have a nice fixed-up house to sell, similar to ours and in a similar neighborhood, and either we won't, or we might but theirs will be nicer and therefore will prevent ours from selling. It's unfounded fears, I know, but that's where my mind is at the moment. (My mind also goes back and forth from "we have all we need," and "what would we even DO with a bigger/newer house?" and "I won't even feel confident/smart enough to live in a nicer house" to Want Want Want Want Want, so there's that.) One thing I have decided is that the extra income I get that is not my salary (I have a couple of sources, like my cantoring at church) is going to be put toward buying the things I want to buy. New extra-tall shower curtain and rod for master bath. New chandelier for dining room. Possibly for kitchen, too. 6 sets of 30.6" window blinds and one set of 22". And I want to get started soon, doing some of the projects I CAN do without having to wait for the contractor. Like painting the trim. I'd start tomorrow if it weren't for the Super Bowl. Hrmph.

You Are Young

We saw Keane in concert last week and it was wonderful, amazing - so moving. They're an incredible band. Strangeland, their latest CD, arrived in our mail 2 days ago and I've been listening to it this morning. They opened with this song last week, and I liked it a lot. I thought of it as a song for young lovers. Very sweet.

Today it hit me as a song from parent to child, and my breath caught in my throat and the tears fell unexpectedly. A wish for our kids.

A glimpse

In the mornings, we let the kids watch TV for about 20 minutes while they eat their breakfast, and they alternate who picks the show. "Whose turn to pick?" and "My turn to pick" are part of our family's language. We've been reconsidering this practice lately, because a certain 4-year-old girl tends to meltdown at random, and one of her witching hours is this hour, the one before all four of us must leave for work and school, 5 times a week. Le sigh. Maybe I've mentioned this before? Hahaha. Agggh. It's either the lights are too bright, or someone's touching her arm, or breathing on her wrong (@ Sissy, LOL!) or it's not her Turn.

But today I saw a little glimpse of the end of this phase, and a little confirmation that maybe some of the good we try to impart on these kids is actually getting through to her. I know it has gotten through to AJ. Today, for instance, it was his Turn, and therefore KT started to fuss. We were at the brink of a tantrum when he sighed, and reluctantly but very wisely said he would switch with her, and let her pick today. (Frequently, he'll hold onto his turn, but choose one of "her shows." That kid impresses me, I don't mind telling you.) He tossed out a comment, however, that he SURE wishes she would be as nice to him as he is to her. Heh. I agree. Normally I don't like when he tries to use "parenting talk," but I let this one slide. She considered it. Things were quiet as they worked out which buttons to push, to turn everything on (she sometimes still doesn't remember to push Auxillary - POWER, TV - POWER, and Cable box - POWER. I don't blame her, it's complicated.)... and then I heard her ask him, "Where do I find 'Adventure Time' On Demand?"

Which is one of "his shows." :)

------

AJ's been sick for 5 days. It was such a weird thing - he'd be fine one day but throw up the next, and didn't eat or drink much of anything. (All my hard work! Gone with the wind.) After a trip to the doctor, he's on a 3-day diet of saltines and broth, Jello and Ginger Ale, and an anti-nausea pill and a probiotic. Poor kid. He is additionally sick of DH and me asking him every 5 minutes if he's okay. It is awful to see your kid suffering, and I know a stomach bug is extremely minor in comparison to what some parents go through. I'm so grateful today to have healthy kids.

Of course, it's been a juggle with work schedules and sick days. It's gotten easier as we've matured into the parenting gig -- DH and I usually try to split days or alternate, and neither of us worries too much about it. I'm grateful, I guess, that I have a laptop and VPN access, so I don't miss the important emails (if there is such a thing), and grateful for understanding managers.

Meanwhile, there have been third-grade projects due (another costume! Argh! What grade does THAT end?), Catholic Schools' Week volunteer "opportunities" (i.e., room mom obligations, which end up being fun but when I'm also juggling sick days, are sorta stressful), and KT's pre-K classroom is trying to start prepping us for homework next year, with some homework of its own. She's making stellar progress on her reading, and that's fun. We giggle about her "math" papers -- she writes every number backwards. I know it's very early yet and that she'll get it, and I'm trying to remember to save some of the funny ones so we can look back later.

We're wishing for some snow. If we don't get any, it'll be the second winter in a row, and that will be sad. A couple of years ago, it snowed in mid-February so I'm holding out hope.

Oh, I've also been trying really hard to catch up with Downton Abbey. I finished Season 2 last night. My mom tells me I must not miss the Christmas episode, and then I'll hit our DVR and get up to speed on Season 3 so far. I will say it feels a lot more soap-opera like in Season 2 than it did at first. I still love it, but I've noticed a shift. (I should have been born in that time period, I truly think. I wouldn't even care if I were upstairs or downstairs -- it was all still so proper. And if you were downstairs it isn't like you wished you could be upstairs, because it simply wasn't possible. Your station was your station. There seemed to be less angst over earning "enough" or "more" money, because everyone knew what he had. We're not like that in our time. I haven't taken the time to parse all these thoughts out, but it's interesting to me.)