Operators are standing by...

I had to pull out all the stops and CALL SANTA CLAUS on the telephone this morning, to stop the whine-fest AJ was having. It's been 3 mornings in a row that he's writhed on the carpet bemoaning the horrible state of his LIFE and how we never let him do ANYTHING FUN, instead of letting us dress him for school, and Husband and I had Had It. So I looked that kid right in the eye and said, "If you kick me again, I am going to CALL SANTA." And he flat-out kicked me. Toddlers, I swear.

beep-beep-beep-beep beep beep beep.

"It's ringing...." (pause for effect)

"Hello, may I speak to Santa Claus please? Thank you." (pause. hmm, 'magine that, AJ's quit fussing)

"Hi, Santa, this is AJ's Mommy. Yes, nice to talk to you. We're all fine. How are you doing?"

(pause)

"Mmm-hmm. Well... I'm calling with some bad news I'm afraid... AJ is being pretty Naughty this morning. Yes, I know. Mm-hmm, he IS usually a very good boy... I know. I hate having to tell you this, but you may want to consider skipping our house this year."

(pause as Santa protests)

(Meanwhile, Hubby's behind me looking at AJ clucking his tongue, "Oh, man... Oh, man, AJ...." All I could do not to burst out laughing. But, STAY IN CHARACTER.)

"Do you think so? Well, maybe he can try to be Nice until Christmas." (looking pointedly at AJ, who's gone silent and wide-eyed) "I don't know. But okay, we'll see. Yes, that's good advice. Okay, Thank you, Santa."

"You have a Merry Christmas, too. Bye-bye."

And then I told AJ that Santa was very disappointed.

He was still looking a bit glum when I dropped him off at daycare. Am I the meanest mommy, or what??! I have exploited Santa a lot this month ("You'd better not pout"), but that was an Oscar-worthy performance, if I do say so myself. Put the fear a'God in him. (Don't worry, we'll call him again tonight -- there's an 800#, did you know? 1-800-972-6242 -- and I'll let AJ listen to the happy recording.)

Tactics. It's all about tactics.