Puzzled

Oh, Melissa & Doug. I really want to be friends with you guys. You seem like people I would like.

But I think I might have to stop talking to you. What were you thinking with the United States puzzle?

Seriously, Melissa, why would you do this to me? Each state carefully jigged around its border, and they all fit FLAT on the flat flat board of the puzzle base (read: no 1/4 inch-deep "cradle" for the piece. You have to slide it up to its neighbor pieces. Hhhhate.) And Doug, what about New Jersey? I hate this New Jersey, all bunched up with DC and I think Rhode Island, but not making any sense as a shape. I almost always try to put it in (on?) upside-down. Did you guys chug a big beer before you cut Michigan? Come on, you can tell me, we're friends. Because I would love to love Michigan -- if it looked like everyone's favorite mitten. But nooooo, Melissa & Doug felt the need to include the same-named Lake, all in one piece -- so when all the little buggers are turned over like this:
I can't FIND Michigan! And that wastes precious seconds of my time. There is no way to do this puzzle quickly. I have a half-hour geography lesson every day after AJ dumps the thing, fruit-basket-turnover style. And yeah, you'll suggest I should be spending the time doing the puzzle WITH him, but lemme tell ya a little secret: after he's dumped it, he moves on to something else! And I am stuck with the Disheveled Union of itty bitty pieces of States.

I should note, AJ can recognize Texas, and "Camifohneeya," and "Loozee-nana," and probably a few others. So maybe I can thank you, my two friends, for when he skips first grade in a few years. (So Smart!) And I can thank you for not including the Virgin Islands. But still. With this and the dying-battery Animal Pet Sounds audio puzzle, which now bleats a few sad "Reeechebts, Reechebts!" when I turn off the light in the room (such sensitive sensors)... I just .... it's just over between us, guys. I'm sorry. I loved you.