Listen, I understand that the radio stations are businesses, and that they have to play more than 12 songs in their rotations, in order that people will listen and not switch the station, in order to get the good ads. So I know that musicians need to write new versions of old songs. How else will the station fill 24 hours of Christmas Tunes, now 'til Christmas?? How, I ask you! But I have BONES TO PICK -- mostly music-nerd and English-nerd bones, so bear with me, here -- with some of the newest versions of 2 of my favorite Christmas carols. OH MY GOD.
First, someone has recorded a very swing-y, very filled-out version of "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas." There are a lot of embellishments and odd syncopations, and it is rubbing me the wrong way. Because, listen to the words: Merry Little Christmas. It's a little thing. A delicate, simple notion of Christmas. The words spell out what the music should be. The four even eighth notes of the original "mer-ry lit-tle" are ON PURPOSE, people.
That one gets a warning -- minor offense.
Over on the local Christian station, someone else has done a big band/swing version of "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas." This one doesn't bother me as much with its swing rhythm, because it's big band in very obvious ways, like lots of horns and a big, brassy, round vocal lead -- he sounds like Michael Buble or Harry Connick and I really like those guys. HOWEVER. This version has hijacked the lyrics for Extreme Right Evangelicalism and it pisses me off. It says,
"Through the years, we all will be together,
If His grace allows...
Hang a shiny star upon the highest bough..."
Nothing wrong with "If His Grace allows," I guess, but nothing wrong with saying "the Fates," either!! I mean, dang, it's just LITERATURE. Just mythology, the first stories the world ever had. But NOooo, we wouldn't want to allude to something other than GOD allowing things to happen, not even innocent, literary Fate. That wouldn't be Christian enough. Errrrrrgh. Annoying. I almost can't listen to this one.
Traffic ticket. You have violated the song in a big way.
Finally. This week I have heard 2 separate versions of "The Little Drummer Boy," both with LOUD drums and/or background vocals like Doo-wops or Doot-doots, intruding on the song. Here again, you idiot "songwriters" of today: LOOK AT THE LYRICS. The beauty of this song is its simplicity. The older, choral version (that thankfully, you still hear on the radio), barely has any accompaniment. That is no accident! The haunting silence of the moment where the little drummer boy offers to play his drum is what MAKES this song. Am I right? The pause before... "Then... He smiled at me...." ?? Is BEAUTIFUL. Makes your throat catch in the back. BEGS to be followed by a reverent, appropriate ending: "Me and my drummm." My simple, tiny, seemingly insignificant drum. That made God the baby smile. NOT my LOUD, FAST, BASHING DRUM-SOLO DRUM, which is, I swear, what one of these ridiculous versions served up.
APPALLING. Go to Jail. Go directly to Jail. Do not pass Go, do not collect any candy canes from me.
6 comments:
I never liked the Little Drummer Boy until I heard the Mercy Me version, which is maybe one of the ones you are referring to, I don't know. I love that it builds and then gets quiet at the end. Just very passionate, to me.
I hate that our local Christian station feels the need to play Christmas songs 24/7. In my opinion it would be far better to play the regular rotation with good Christmas songs thrown in. Then we would not have to suffer through crap. I don't like any of the secular songs though. I find it interesting that this station would not play a song not relating to God or Jesus the rest of the year, but at CHRISTmas they play anything with the word in it. Makes me crazy.
Therefore, I love my Ipod with my chosen songs and nothing else.
Amen Sister!
Although I think I might give the worst "go to jail" offense to #2. Seriously, can you not be broad minded enough to think of fate as God-directed coincidence or some such???? Does someone have to spell it out for you? Are you too stupid to be able to interpret the original words to fit with Christianity? If the original composers were writing Chistmas songs, what the heck do you think they were, Muslim or Jewish? That song was written before the days of political correctness. AARGH!!
I have not encountered this problem here, because one of the two stations who convert to "Christmas Stations" is the local Christian Contemporary station. And I boycotted it the day they had a talk show all about how Catholocism was not a Christian religion. Seriously, even if you do not agree with the tenets, you have to be intelligent enough to realize that it is, factually, a Christian religion.
I like this ranty Christmas. I needed something to drag me out of my doldrums today! Thanks!
I laughed when I read this- and nodded a lot! I HATE it when they change words to old, classic songs for modern sensitivities. Leave it alone- it's a freaking Christmas carol.
And I absolutely agree with the little drummer boy- my mom has a beautiful old version that I adore. I can't imagine it with a loud drum the whole way through. As you said that goes against the whole point and message of the song!
This is me, agreeing. I give the highest ticket to the one that took out the fates.
I'm so glad I'm not the only who gets the catch in the back of her throat at the Little Drummer Boy. My kids probably think I'm so weird because I can't listen to the song without crying!
I give the Do Not Pass Go ticket to number 1. I hate syncopated drums, etc.
It's so refreshing to see someone care so much about the true meaning of Christmas and the music that enhances it. Thanks for speaking up. You made my day.
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