Lately it feels like we're just being chewed on by this never-ending machine -- DH and I, the parents. We clock in, 5:30 am, and get to pounding out our day. Feed kids, feed dog, dress kids, dress selves, gather up stuff, forget stuff, pound, pound, pound, out the door, drive. Kids: school. Barely time to ponder on that fact, just set them down and GO, on to the next classroom. Drive, drive, drive. Fill up with gas. Work. Drive again. Dinner. TV. Drinks. Napkins. Oh, don't forget to hug the kids once in a while, or engage with them once in a while (now I'm tearing up as I type). Eat. Plead with kid to eat. Bath. Bed. Make bottles. Start over. Even the weekends sometimes feel this hurried. Even when we sit on the couch, we know it's just another half-hour until we have to go somewhere or feed someone.
Do we communicate? Yeah, but not well. I'm snippy and defensive. He's quiet. We coo at the baby and hope some of the love for her and her brother (when he's being sweet) runs off the sides and seeps into each other, too. We gripe at him for being four, and so, so trying. The hamster wheel spits us out, creaks a little back and forth while we sleep, then sucks us back in for another round, another day.
6 comments:
The daily grind. Totally get it. Already, we're getting into our own ruts and routines, and we just barely got unpacked from the latest move! But my other bystander observation is that your daily hamster wheel always seems FULL of hugs for the kiddos and tons of engaging with them, stimulating their imaginations with all those make-believe games, and lots of little cute moments between you and your DH. So don't let yourself tear up TOO much, sweet sis!
ok, no one can top Jilly's comment .. so ditto, sweet cousin
I call this "rinse and repeat" at our house! Ditto what jilly beans and mandy said...from what you write, it's obvious you engage with your kids and your husband. Sometimes I think you're awfully hard on yourself! :)
I know, I know! But I think it's going to be okay. And I think things improve when the children are not quite so little.
Julie, you're probably right, I am too hard on myself. Most moms I know are -- I think it's a flaw of our generation.
I noticed earlier this week that every time AJ asked me to play with him -- Every! Time! -- I had some excuse. "Honey, I have to get dinner ready." I want to, but I'm working on [X] right now. Sure, I'll watch a show with you, right after I [X]. That's what made me a little sad.
I like "rinse and repeat;" very apt!
I do believe it's the curse of our generation. How can we appreciate this busy, busy life? I'm going to try this very evening to see if I can enjoy some moments here and there.
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