Can I just say this, one time, (loudly), without offending everyone...?
JEEZUS.
April 15, 2009: I am so frakking tired of dinnertime. All of it, frankly. Thinking of what to make, scouring the pantry so I won't have to go grocery shopping for a thrid time this week,* wishing I could just play with KT who won't be put down/ignored at that fateful hour of the day, trying to get it all timed just right to be on the table together (The Drinks! I forgot the Drinksaggggh!), hearing "What are we having?" and the subsequent, "This smells... gross" from the Four-Year-Old Who Never Eats... and the Four-Year-Old, himself. I am TIRED from him.
We try SO hard not to fuss over him (i.e., give him what he wants, i.e. attention) during the meal. He gets up to go to the bathroom, we let him.** He talks and doesn't eat, fine. He doesn't want peaches? No biggie, leave them on your plate.
But it's always something. Last night it was "I can't pull my chair close to the table by myself!! Waaaa!! I want to be a BIG BOY." Wouldn't accept help, don'tchaknow. And thus he spiraled into a whole night of stupidity/tantrums. I never post about him when he has a great week, and I'm sorry for that; he DOES have great weeks. Had one recently, in fact. And so we rewarded him with a trip to the Toy Aisle (he 'needed' more action figures, hee). And then he responded to that with one of the worst Saturdays ever (seems every time he gets a 'reward' it backfires on us), complete with Time Outs and me screaming. I really DON'T like to scream, I prefer the calm, "I'm disappointed" tone, but sometimes it just doesn't get the job done...
OH, forget it. It's working me up just rehashing it. Lather, rinse, repeat... It's just that yesterday he told me he didn't eat lunch at school, and then of course he didn't eat dinner due to his chair, and during the ensuing tantrum he was screaming, "MOMMY!!! I'M STARRRRVING!!! FEEEEEED ME!!" which of course tears right into your biological need to feed your child, even when you KNOW you're being MANIPULATED, GOODLORD... so I absolutely refused and sent him to bed huuuuuungry. I know he needed to be sent to bed hungry. I even TOLD him probably every kid in the world has been sent to bed hungry and learned the hard way to eat their dinner (and their mommies and daddies still love them) but I did NOT appreciate his behavior, and blaaaaaaaaggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh and then I died the end.
*We pretty much grocery shop twice a week SOLELY to keep up with KT's milk habit! Girl is a JUNKIE! She goes through a gallon in, like, 2 days! (And yet, she still poops just fine, it's pretty amazing. She does love her veggies, too, which helps.)
**Speaking of poop, we fight about that at dinnertime, too -- about me wiping him. He's FOUR and a HALF!! He SO needs to be handling that himself. And he CAN (we've witnessed it), he just doesn't want to. He's MANIPULATING ME and it's pissing (ha) me off.
9 comments:
I hear you sister!!! We have good and bad nights at the dinner table. And I was just telling my husband I want a maid. He said no you want a personal chef. I agreed. I hate dinner time. I hate the buying, planning, and making of it. My husband does make dinner a couple of nights out of the week but most of it falls on my shoulders. I want to chuck the whole meal time myself.
Basically we have gotten to the pt with our son that we just make him sit there and if he does not want to eat so be it. We tell him this is dinner time and if he does not like there it, there is nothing till breakfast. If we think he is really hungry, we might bribe him with a treat. I know that is bad and they say DO NOT DO THIS but we do not do it every night. Just on nights we know he will be super hungry if he eats nothing.
He has to ask to be excused but he must sit with us for at least five minutes and talk. If he complains or is angry about something like the chair (yes my son does this too!) we count him to three and he gets a time out in his room away from us.
As for the bum wiping, we make him clean himself then do a check. It forces him to do most of the job himself and if he does a great job I become cheerleader mommy and make a huge deal out of the cleaned bum. It seems to be doing the trick as of late. It makes him feel great that he did himself but also that I am still giving a little to baby him. I think some this goes back to him wanting to still be a baby even though he likes the benefits of being a big boy. You know?
I am rambling with poor fragmented English so I will stop but I feel your pain!
Yikes. I hear your exhaustion. I don't have a big kid, but Maddie is currently... well, she's not eating a lot and it's STRESSING ME OUT. I want her to EAT like she used to - kid used to eat EVERYTHING. Chili, salsa, chicken, cheese, green beans. All of it.
Now? She'll eat some grapes, maybe some cheese. A banana here and there. At least she drinks her milk, I guess.
Hope things settle down for you soon! And here I was hoping that this was a phase...
Oh, Rolling... YES, the bribes. This was the problem last night. AJ was all, "I am hungry... but... I don't want Dinner.... I want Dessrt." HA.
NO WAY, MISTER. NICE TRY.
But yeah, we've used dessert as a bribe before. I HATE doing that.
My mom had suggested, at one point, putting dessert there (something small, that *I* choose, like apple slices) with the main meal, every night. So it doesn't become a bribe, just part of the meal. I think that's a great idea but we didn't do it for some reason. My DH is more married to the theory (that I also think is sound) of "no dinner, no dessert."
It's confusing.
I hate wiping butts. I think Buddy (5 1/2!) should handle it on his own, but Husband doesn't. So Buddy still asks me to wipe him. I told him that will stop soon b/c he is going to school in the fall and his teacher sure won't do it for him.
So sorry about the dinner issues. You are doing the absolutely right thing, even if it does not seem to be working right now.
Butterfly does not really like milk. I'm lucky if she drinks one cup a day. Buy more milk! If she is going through it that fast, and you have the room, buy 3 gallons at a time and save yourself a trip to the store.
I hope things get back on track soon.
WHY ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE SPYING ON ME AND WRITING POSTS ABOUT IT?
Honest to Christmas... I sent Wallace to his room after school yesterday because he had no fewer than FIVE whiney/pissy/miserable episodes during the eight minute drive home from school.
O MY GOD, the moaning and the not eating and the huuuuuuuuuungry and mommy WIPE ME and the blatant ignoring followed by the pitious wailing...
Right now I want to sell him.
I feel you.
Krissy Poopyhands
OMG I so hear you. I think the joy of having my kids responsible for their OWN feeding will help balance any empty nest emotions I might feel.
So, if I was LMAO reading this, can we still be friends?
Sometimes things just suck. I feel so guilty for that. If I were the spiritual person I want to be, wouldn't I almost never feel sucky? Wouldn't life be a grand adventure?
Yes on the milk. M drinks TONS of milk!!!
how did I miss this post?!?!?!?!?
THANK YOU ... collin is just like that .. except not with the good weeks .. this is constant with him CONSTANT.
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