I’ve been reading Linda’s latest news with great interest, having always identified with her in certain ways. One, because I found her when her oldest son was first-born, and my own AJ was 1 year old. Two, because she also had a long commute, and was (is) a working mom. Six years ago, I, too, was driving more than 40 minutes to and from a job that was less-than-fulfilling (but had wonderful people!). So I stayed there and stayed there until circumstances finally combined in the right way that I could leave.
Linda has taken the leap that so many of us bloggers think about from time to time to a freelance writer working full-time from home, staying with her kids. I am so thrilled for her. If anyone deserves writing success, it’s her. Naturally part of me is a smidge jealous, but a MUCH smaller percentage than would have been, 2 years ago. Her announcement has made me feel proud, actually, that I have also taken steps to remedy what was a somewhat "soul-sucking" situation.
1. I now have a much more pleasant 7-mile commute. My office is located in the same suburb as my home and my kids’ schools, the way God intended.
2. I made it clear when I was hired here that I was not available for travel, and I asked multiple times if my position required it – the answer was always “No” from the particular manager who hired me. (It still comes up from time to time with other managers, but I’m trying very hard to stick to my guns about it.)
3. We’re rocking flex-time. It’s not perfect by any means. Thursdays have become especially long now that I’ve rejoined the choir: I’m out my door at 6:15am and not home for good until 9:15pm, and that means I only see KT for about an hour and a half total on Thursdays. But overall the plan works. I’m able to pick up AJ, do homework, get dinner started, and sometimes even more in the afternoons.
What I'm saying is, I’m happier with my work-life balance than I have been in a long time. Not that I’m finished complaining about it all -- I agree with Linda that the system is so flawed -- our need/greed for THINGS with accelerated growing costs, like expensive higher education, expensive homes, and all the other trappings that have us trapped. I also have this odd desire to tell my daughter, someday, to consider becoming a nurse or a teacher, because those 2 jobs seem, to me, to offer the best working hours options for moms -- now isn’t that backward? The only jobs women were "allowed" to do for so long. Feminism, whah? But maybe that is finally starting to change. Maybe a Mom can successfully be a full-time writer/editor/marketing-office-worker, on her own scheduling terms, and enjoy both of her jobs.
I have to hope so.
5 comments:
That's so great that you've taken control (or at least as much control as you can) of your work schedule to create something that works better for you. I think the hardest thing about feminism and trying to have it all is figuring out what it is you really want, and then going to get it. And sometimes what you really want isn't the pinnacle of the career ladder and that's okay. I think if more men were honest with themselves about what they really want they'd discover they didn't want an 80 hour work week either (at least in my profession). And the more people who realize that, and make changes to make themselves happy, the less "work-life balance" will be a working mother issue (with the oftentimes negative assocations that come along with it). At least I like to think that will happen, particularly now that I have a daughter too :)
I agree with you. A slight tinge of jealousy but like you I have worked over the past couple of years to change my work/life balance for the best.
It is hard for me to think about what to tell my daughter because I used to believe I could do it all. I think if you marry into money you can have it all maybe? I have no idea but I did feel stretched thin and not doing a great job either at home or work.
I glad we have flexible work places these days and I think what works for one is not going to work for the next. Anyway, finding the right balance is what it is all about, right!?
Oh, AMEN to all of this. I am completely gobsmacked by her bravery and her insight about the whole thing. I want off this hamster wheel too, I just don't know how yet.
Flexing is great and is starting to work a bit for our family too, but I agree with both you and Linda in saying that we have a LONG way to go.
I'm glad that your current schedule is making you happy though - most of all, I just like seeing other moms happy and succeeding!
I have to add that, as most of you know, the opportunity at my current company sort-of fell into my lap. I had made it clear to some people in my network that I was looking, but I wasn't knocking on every door to find something.
Just wanted to point that out. I wasn't that brave: I was lucky. But! Tim Gunn taught me to make it work, so I did. ;)
Amen, sister. Soul-sucking is the word. At least I do have some flex time. My current (childless) manager is a really nice guy, but the work characteristic he seems to value the most is the willingness/desire to just hang around this place for about 10 hours a day, even if there's not much to do. I so wish I could somehow change his perspective. Ack, got to get back to work, speaking of.
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